Right before my husband and I got married, we broke up for about six months. He’s military. He was away for school and had terrible trust issues, hacking my social media, email, etc. I got sick of it and told him I was done unless he could get it together. Anyway, while we were broken up, I hooked up with one of my old flings right before we got back together. I was completely transparent and told him right away because we were in the stages of getting back together. Fast forward a year and a half, this past Friday, I found out that he hooked up with his ex RIGHT AFTER WE BROKE UP and said nothing to me about when we’re in the stages of getting back together. So when I said something to him about it, he said I had no right to be angry because it happened while we were broken up. Mind you, when I told him I hooked up with an old fling, he acted like he was so heartbroken and didn’t understand why I would do that to him. He also knows that had he told me he hooked up with her, WE WOULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN BACK TOGETHER. Part of me feels tricked like he manipulated the situation to get the outcome he wanted. Am I wrong for feeling the way I do?
I’d be 
out but that’s just me 
You gotta hold yourself to the same standard as your partner. You say you both hooked up with people from your past so it makes me wonder if y’all ever fully moved on from those people.
You can’t act all high and mighty here, you did the same thing.
You aren’t wrong for feeling that way, what he did was wrong. but at the end of the day you weren’t together he didn’t cheat. yes maybe he told a white lie but honestly ask yourself out of all of the good is it that bad to leave you’re marriage now!?!
So you wouldn’t of gotten back with him for hooking up with his ex? But you hooked up with a past fling??? Yes, you’re wrong!!!
I’ve been in a situation similar, my ex hooked up with someone and didn’t bother telling me because he knew him and I would of not worked shit out ,
Well that right there tells you why he didn’t tell you because he knows you would not have got back together with him. He sounds a little bit of a narcissist kind of like a victim I did it to you but how dare you do it to me even though you guys were broken up and you had the right to do each whatever you wanted. You have to decide whether or not you can forgive him and stay.
Ummm you cant get mad over that when you did the same thing makes no sense to me🤔
Nope not wrong. He did manipulate you into thinking you hurt him, when he did the same thing and hid it.
I’m just wondering why he had trust issues with you from the beginning? If you gave him no reason to, usually that means the person with the trust issues is usually the one who can’t be trusted !
My ex did the same thing except he didn’t sleep with the girl. And he always let the secrets like that slip when talking to a friend and would say it right beside me. As if I already knew. Then when I’d bring it up act like it wasn’t a big deal because we were “broken up”. But it wasn’t the fact that we were broken up it was the fact that he had lied. He and i aren’t together anymore i left him.
It’s time to get over yourself my dear!!
He should have told you and not acted like he was completely innocent in the beginning but you literally did the same thing he did, you were just upfront about it. He’s allowed to see whoever he wants if you’re not together. You’re definitely overreacting
You did the same thing…you have no right to be mad
Ugh. Pot, meet kettle.
You weren’t together.
You hooked up with an ex.
Why is it wrong that he did the same?
I think you’re being a little bit hypocritical… I mean why would you have rejected him if you thought it was okay to do the same thing 🤷🤷 like you got together with someone your past so did he… Unless he is doing something now worth leaving over why not just leave the past in the past… 🤷🤷🤷
Girl you are soooo wrong
You screwed around too while broken up but are pissed at him!!! While NOT together…you did the same thing dont act high and mighty.
What he does when you guys are broken up as none of your business
Excuse me? Is this really?
I think whatever we feel is valid and you should always take your feelings into consideration. Something sounds off here, but that’s just me.
He hooked up with her after y’all BROKE UP… you hooked up with someone WHILE in the middle of getting back together.
So it was okay for him to accept it from you and get back together but not vice versa for him. What happened when you weren’t together isn’t relavent.
You both slept with other people while you were broken up. Sooooo you’re both kinda on the same level, doesn’t matter when it was done in the time you two weren’t together.
Have you watched Friends? Because this was like 2 years of that show
Uh you both did it so you have no reason to be upset neither of you do…
Well you don’t have the right to be angry for what he did while you were broken up.
Men do that lol. It’s either a deal breaker or it’s not. You two were split up. He doesn’t have to tell you. You decided to tell him about yours. Doesn’t mean he had to.
well now your married so move along you both did the same thing
You were broken up. Either he knows this is how you would react and decided not to tell you or decided not to tell you for the simple fact you weren’t together, therefore you shouldn’t get so mad especially since you were with an ex (aka old flame) during that break up as well. But only you can decide to forgive him. Its tmnot for internet strangers to give you wisdom as no one here has walked in either of your shoes.
Double standard much lol
How can you be mad when you did the same thing? Was there a stipulation when you guys got back together that he had to tell you who he slept with? Many people go back to their ex’s after a breakup with the “now” partner, it’s safe and you know what you are going to get in the sack. Really though you did the same damn thing to him, step down from your pedestal and realize you are both human. In the end it is up to you.
You guys sound toxic as hell lol
Girl y’all weren’t even dating…stop blowing this out of proportion! You told him it was over and you also slept with someone …stop dragging down your marriage with old BS!!
You gave him with the truth and the right to choose what to do with it. He did not do that for you. Maybe explain that to him. Hiding things to get his way is dishonest and manipulative.
You were not together so it’s really none of your business who he was with. You both were with someone else so I don’t really see how it’s an issue. Did you specifically ask him if he was with anyone while you were apart and he lied and said no?
You both need to get over it. You were not in a relationship with him and he was not in a relationship with you. You had your booty call and he had get. GET OVER IT.
At the point where you are both sleeping with other people even if you are separated, there’s no point in continuing. Your relationship/marriage has been betrayed. You allowed other people to come into what should have only ever been the two of you. No matter the relationship/marriage issues if either one of you are so quick to jump into bed with someone else especially people from your past, you’re not quite as committed as you like to think. Not only that but I’m sorry, no matter what you do it can’t be undone and it will be an issue for the rest of your days together. It’s over. It was over when you slept with your old fling and it was over when he slept with his ex. Even if you agree to mark it up as even. Your marriage has been compromised. Just my 2cents 
Not trying to be cold-hearted, but sweetheart you need to get over yourself. It’s called a breakup for a damn reason. He had every right to see other people at that point in time no matter who they were and there’s nothing you can do about what he chose to do or who he chose to be with during that time. Get over yourself
You were broken up … why can you do it and not him? Double standard …
This is not real right? If so wow! Y’all were not together, even if it was the NIGHT y’all broke up that he slept with her, you can’t say shit cause YALL WERE BROKEN UP!!! You slept with an ex (fling or not it’s still an ex) when you guys are broken up and he was hurt but still took you back why is his sleeping with someone else while you were not together any different? Something sounds off and it sounds like you are reaching for a reason to leave him again. 
my opinion! Seems you need to do some soul searching and figure out why you are so angry over this when it happened over a year and a half ago.
You both did the same thing let it go pick your battles or your marriage won’t work just drop it and move on !! This what your doing if you continue to do stuff like this I hate to say it but you will be divorced
You have no commitment to each other if you’re not together. You basically did the same. If you want a future with this guy you both need to let it go and move forward, otherwise the relationship will not survive
Sounds like you both did the same thing, but you were honest about things and he wasn’t.
To me would be a bigger deal that he didn’t tell you right off the bat, not the fact that it happened.
You can either accept it for what it is and move on, or you can do something about it.
Ultimately how you react and process it is up to you.
So wait, you slept with an old fling, told him, and he stayed… & he slept with an ex, and if he had told you, you would have left? So its okay for you to sleep with someone from your past while yall was broken up, but if he did & told you, its not okay? Hypocrite much? 
You double standard bitches make me laugh 
it’s only ok if YOU do it but not him?? makes total sense…
you’re a total asshat for saying "he knew if he told me we wouldn’t have gotten back together"
gross. Grow up.
It isn’t your business if you were not together
If you’re broken up he can do whatever he wanted.
Did you explicitly ask him if he slept with anyone and he lied?
It’s maybe annoying if he didn’t freely give up the information when you did, but if you didn’t ask, I don’t feel you have a reason to be mad. You gave that up when you broke it off with him.
It kind of sounds like you two are wrong for each other anyway🤷🏻♀️
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So why do people feel the need to tell each other what they did while they weren’t together…that just causes problems…unless it’s absolutely necessary like she got pregnant it wasn’t any of your business…just like it wasn’t his business what you did but you voluntarily offered the information to him… people make my brain hurt
Okay I’m confused if you would not have gotten back together once you found out that kind of sounds like you’re blaming him also but if you weren’t together at the time then it shouldn’t matter who he slept with. Sorry but you kind of sound childish if you guys were both broken up at the time and he still wanted to get back together with you even though you slept with someone else, but yet you would not get back together with him because he slept with someone else while you were broken up? That sounds like you are a bit bitter to me and like you don’t deserve him in the first place.
This all is so unhealthy. Throw it away and start over lol
I know that sounds really harsh… but there are so many moving parts and so much betrayal, lack of trust, and unforgiving happening… I don’t know that the two of you could ever get to a healthy place together. It would take a SERIOUS amount of commitment, communication and probably counseling to fix it.
Ps: a desire to be right and justified in anger and unforgiving is the death of 98% of relationships.
You were not even together though it shouldn’t matter who it was unfortunately.
You were broken up and both slept with someone from your past 
not much you can be mad about. Yes he should have told you but when you told him and it crushed him, he probably didn’t want to put you through that heartache as well so he kept it to himself…
I mean obviously he should have been honest but since you’ve made it clear you woulsnt have gotten back together had you known, that’s why he didnt say anything. You both did it so you cant really be that mad…you either get over it or leave again.
Get over it, you weren’t together. 6 months is a pretty long gap
You was broke up. It’s over in pass. Move the hell on. Dont live in pass concentrate on yall future. You leave the pass in pass for many reasons. If not going come back destroy you.
Why can you do it to him but he cant do it to you? A complete double standard if you ask me.
u r as bad as he is,i really don’t know why u care. u slept with another person too.
I can understand why he didn’t tell you and your feelings aren’t wrong anyone would be hurt no matter if you were together or not and Maybe he wanted to spare your feelings which says alot meaning even though it hurt him that you hooked up someone else he didn’t feel the need to inflict the same pain. It sucks that your just now finding out about it though and I think you are validated to feel the way you do. Hopefully you guys can get through it, especially since it was while you were apart. Good luck
You both did the same thing, the only difference is you told him about it, and he didn’t say anything. It’s a little hypocritical to be mad when you did it too. You were broken up.
Is it a significant relationship he hooked up with?
And the difference with yours is he wasn’t a significant partner just a fling?
Bc then I kinda understand why you would flip and feel tricked
But you need to figure out if you want dude or don’t
Bc it sounds like you might be already looking for a way out again before you even take another shot at it
You did it too! And he didn’t tell you because he knew you wouldn’t have gotten back together if he did. Throw away the whole knowledge that it ever happened and move on.
But… you broke up.
You’ll have to decide if you guys can get past it and move on to bigger and better things together or if you can’t and need to let it go.
Why is it that you hooked up with someone during this break up and he was willing to give it a try again but the other way around you wouldn’t have thought twice about your marriage? Sounds like a double standard, like you are looking for an out almost. Sure he should have told you when you told him but you were broken up and you both slept with other people. Either forgive him or call it quits for good.
Ok let me get this straight… so you hooked up with an old fling… chose to be honest and just because he wasn’t honest(really none of your business since y’all were broke up) you are MAD… even admitting that you wouldn’t have gotten back with him(maybe that’s why he didn’t tell you) it’s a lose lose situation for him so I completely understand why he didn’t tell you
Lmao, u both need to divorce and go separate ways… you were not with him so why does it matter. You sound like the control freak.
Cant be mad you slept with someone too. Its in the past leave it be. Or yall will just repeat the cycle.
How is it any different that you did it? It’s ok because you got with someone WHILE YOU WERE BROKEN UP. But he can’t. You’re dumb.
Both slept with someone else when you was broken up. Yet because the telling didn’t go as expected. You got a problem? Sounds a bit immature…grow up…get over it…or move on.
Why wouldn’t you have gotten back together if you knew he slept with someone else? You did too?
Okay this is stupid
Uh I don’t think you two should be together lol
Are you mad because it was right after you broke up or just because he was with someone else? I mean yall were not together and you did the same thing so because you told him and he didnt tell you it’s a issue? And you saying you wouldn’t have gotten back with him had you known he did it is wrong cause he obviously didn’t get too upset about you being with a ex.
Why wouldn’t you have gotten back together? Maybe I’m missing something but you did the same thing so
So it’s ok if you hooked up with someone but not if he did? Why the double standard?
He slept with his ex at the beginning of the 6 mo break. You slept with an ex fling right before reconciling. There isn’t much difference there. You telling him vs him telling you is another story. Taking into the account of how you are acting about his hook up I probably wouldn’t have told you either. Especially if i loved you and wanted you back. You can’t expect him to forgive you if you can’t forgive him. Plus this all happened a year ago? How has the relationship been since you got back together? Are you really willing to throw it all away over something kinda petty?
Y’all broke up. You fucked someone too. Pick your battles, because this shit is irrelevant.
Who cares?? You weren’t together. Seems like you’re looking for a reason to leave
I think she is upset that she was upfront and honest and he was not ?!
Then yes, I think you have the right to he upset about that but not that he slept with someone else too
All of this was before you got married, correct? Why does it matter now???
Also, it sounds like both sides have trust/jealously issues.
There is far more to this story than we are being told, why are you so salty with his ex and why the double standard, yea hes a cry baby for acting like he did when u owned up but we are missing too much info to have a proper opinion…
So it’s okay for you to do it and expect him to be okay with it but if he had told you he did the same thing you would have left?? How is that fair? This relationship seems a bit toxic to me 
yeah, he probably should have told you but it seems unfair that you would have left him for doing the SAME thing you yourself did to him. Unless I’m missing something?!
If you love each other, forgive and forget. Be happy. Life’s too short to be worrying about other people in your relationship.
Why can you do it but he can’t wtf ur mind isn’t even right
Both are questioning relationship and hooked up with others…you guys were broken up but neither has right to be upset, y’all did most…move on get back together accepting what happen or move on separate ways and go on with ur lives
I don’t think thats how marriage/engagements work lol. but uh? You slept with someone you used to see. So did he. . Idk how you’re gonna get mad at him when you literally did the same thing.
But like. He did it after y’all “broke up”. You did it right as y’all were working on getting back together. 
It was ok for you but not for him?
Ummn you did the same thing 
Also it was before you got married wasnt last week
Girl you just don’t like the taste of your own medicine don’t try to twist it trying to make yourself feel better. He’s not the bad guy for doing what he needed to to cope with the situation at the time. After all that’s exactly what you did too. Doesn’t sound like you’re mature enough to be married to anyone.
So you hooked up with one of your old flings while you were separated and thats ok because you told him about it but you are upset about him not telling you? And you wouldn’t have gotten back with him if he had… sounds VERY hypocritical to me. You both were broke up so why would it matter. If anything i think your would be worse because it was right before you got back together so the two of you must have been talking to one another… plus guys do things differently than girls, I think Dierks Bentley’s song Different For Girls explains that part almost perfectly.
Did he know what u did before u got married ? Has he done it again since
Sounds like these too shouldn’t be together
Why wouldn’t you have got back together with him if you knew he was with his ex??? He got back with you and knew you slept with someone else while you weren’t together.
You can’t have your cake and eat it hun. It’s not one rule for you and another for him
If you hooking up with a fling was supposed to be okay then why would you not get back with him for basically doing the same thing you did? I wouldn’t have said anything either. I personally agree that if it happened while y’all were broken up then it shouldn’t matter. I’d be hurt of course if it happened to me but I wouldn’t let it stand in the way of someone I wanted to be with unless they did it while we were together.
I wouldn’t trust his ass yuck
Whats the difference between right after you broke up or a few months later. You both slept with other people does it really change things for you now!? The past is the past