Ok put yourself back to the day before you found out. What has actually changed since that day other than you found out something about the past that is quite frankly not worth torturing yourself about.
Stay unmarried until both of you become mature.
He did not cheat. Get over it. You jumped the meat wagon too.
So you slept with someone else and expected him to be ok with it? And if he had told you about him sleeping with his ex you wouldn’t have started dating him again? What in the double standards is going on here?!
You don’t get to be angry. Sorry, but you broke up and he did the same thing as you. You don’t get to choose who he rebounds with🙄 Either move past the past, or break up for GOOD.
Throw him in a dumpster then get in there with him
You “were on a break”
Leave the past in the past
Woah woah woah. You wouldn’t have got back with him if he slept with someone else BUT YOU SLEPT WITH SOMEONE ELSE??? Oh honey.
OK, you were in ‘stages’ of getting back with your ex, but you still hooked up with a old boyfriend ??? Honey, & you are worried about him with his ex right after you broke up??? So again let me make sire I got this straight, your husband,before you got married, you guys broke up, & he hooked up with one of his ex’s. Correct??? And as time went by & you were in the finally stages of getting back with him, you hooked up with one of your old flings, but thankfully you you made sure he was aware of this…which is so nice of you. !!! Am I getting all this drama correct??? And now you are pissed because right after you & your future husband broke up , he went out with one of his old flings. So what about you??? You both were broken up, so what happened, happened. But if you ask me, what you did right before you guys got back together is worst.
Whys it ok for you but not for him?
So only you can hook up with someone while you are BROKEN UP, but he can’t. Is that right?
I’m just here to voice the the fact that I can’t even comment something logical here because I’m too busy shaking my fucking head.
Why are you allowed to do it but not him? You should be held to the same standard.
Whatever happens while you are broken up does not matter.
Tbh I get where you you’re coming from, it’s more so who he slept with rather than the fact he slept with someone else and I’m sure when you mean right after you’re probably talking within a few days after? Which makes sense to because you’d like to believe he waited and missed the relationship first at least a bit before letting someone else hop on.
Regardless though it all boils down to this: can you move on a at least work on trusting him? And vice versa? If one of you or both of you aren’t willing to work on rebuilding the trust and moving forward it’s not going to work and you guys are better off leaving now. Otherwise buck up get everything out in the open and take things a day at a time.
Yall weren’t together so it shouldn’t matter
I feel like we are being tricked
It really isnt your business. Tou disnt have to tell him you had sex with anyone else either. Y’all both grown and were unattached. Leave that mess in the past.
Also, you were the one that broke it off with him.
U both r in the wrong to begin with for hooking up with people u both had previous flings with or where a thing with. Truthfully u both should have came forward about and u did, he didn’t that he is in the wrong for. It’s very unhealthy that u both resorted to a 1 night stand issue. Also unhealthy for ur relationship, u both need to communicate better and take the time to sort both ur crap out b4 it turns into a shit show for the both of u
You did the same thing!!! Grow up my goodness. Y’all BOTH hooked up with old flings!!! If y’all are married and past it, forget about it! You can’t ho around while you’re broken up and get mad he did the same thing.
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander…
Umm you literally did the same thing. Wtf
Ok. Here’s how I feel. You guys broke up. You both screwed someone else. Yes you told him from the start. I understand why you would be upset. But not getting back together because he banged someone else? You did the same. Blank slate, fresh start. You guys are together now and as long as you guys are happy and you both trust each other, I don’t see why you should even waste energy on arguing about something that happened a while ago. Being honest from the start would have been nice for him to do though.
Wow I can’t believe the comment section in this one. I don’t even think people read the whole thing anymore.
You obviously didn’t say that you weren’t ok with him sleeping with someone else. You said you felt manipulated because he didn’t tell the truth.
Geez people READ AND UNDERSTAND.
SHE TOLD THE TRUTH. HE DIDNT. Withholding the truth is sometimes just as bad as lying. He didn’t tell her because he thought they wouldn’t be together if she knew (she never said that she wouldn’t have gotten back together with him had she found out).
Anyway, to the original OP, your feelings are valid. He didn’t tell you the truth because he assumed things. He made you feel bad for doing something that he also did but didn’t tell you. He wanted you to seem like the bad guy.
Honey, don’t be mad because you were stupid enough to admit your shit and he wasn’t
So, it’s okay that you hooked up with an old fling, but it’s wrong of him to have hooked up with an ex?
Yes, he should’ve told you before getting married, like you told him… But he’s not in the wrong. Y’all weren’t together. 🤷
So is it he just didn’t tell you or he lied about it?
Why is it ok for you to sleep with an ex, while actively trying to get back together with this man but not ok that he did the same while you were actually broken up? Kinda hypocritical dont ya think?
You both did the same thing? Can’t you argue about something else?
Nope. Leave. Withholding information is still lying and you will never regain that trust.
Your last statement is why he didnt tell u lol
So you mad he didn’t tell you or mad he hooked up? Cant ve mad at same thing you did
Tbh I would feel upset too only because of the honesty aspect.
The manipulation started way before this!
Was there concerns of cheating before you broke up since he hooked up with her right after? If that’s the case, then I’d be upset too.
Lmao are you serious?
You all were separated lmfao and you stepped out and got in bed with someone else as well. Why is it okay for you and not for him ? What he did while you and him were not together is none of your concern. Thinking it was you who had the trust issues which caused the separation to begin with. Yikes.
The fact that he withheld the whole story is the same as lying and it destroys marriages. I would be gone if it was me
You both cheated on each other. You both did the exact same thing. Yes he should’ve told you but he probably knew he would lose you. But you’re making it sound like because you came clean that what he did was way worse.
“We were on a break!!!”
you both got banged…next.
Even if you hadn’t slept with someone else too, you’d still have no right to be pissed about anything. You guys weren’t together. He has no obligation to tell you anything about what happened because it’s none of your business. You weren’t with him for 6 months. I’d about bet money that his ex wasn’t the only one either
So, he got back with you after you were with someone else. But, you wouldn’t haven’t gotten back with him had you known he did as well? If your going to bring up the past you need to get divorced and go on about your life
so your mad he didn’t tell you that he did the same thing you did? That you would have left him for but he shouldn’t leave you for it? He should leave you!
Get over it and move on you guys were broken up, you went out and got some action and so did he, even Stevens! Men always share only what’s convenient to them, it not lying, it’s just not telling all, that way we can’t throw it in their face later on. We have to do the same
You can’t say nothing you did the same thing
You did the exact same thing? Wtf
You wernt together get over it you were both single when you both slept with other people
Your a hypocrite
You both slept with old flings/ex’s when you were broken up. Doesn’t matter when in the break up it occurred. You both slept with other people, you told him about yours, he didn’t. What is the problem? If you asked if he slept with someone else and he lied, you have every right to be mad. But if he didn’t lie and simply didn’t mention it, I guess I don’t see where the issue is?
Oh…
All this sleeping around.
Wait till your more mature to start a relationship…and before any innocent babies come.
Break up. This isn’t salvageable
You both need to gtfu and deal with it or go your seperate ways
This isn’t real is it?! He could have fucked 100 women and it still wouldn’t be your business. Y’all both need to seek help, apart and together.
So, it’s ok for you to hook back up with your “old fling” aka ex, but not for him?
I see why you’re mad. You told him what you did and he used it to make you feel guilty while all along he knew that he had done the same. The question is did you straight out ask him if he was with anyone else? If you did and he lied that is worse. I just wonder why you wanted him to be ok with you having a night but you wouldn’t have gotten back together if you would’ve know about his night. Was it bc of this specific ex or you just mad he didn’t say he was with anyone? Either way he didn’t tell you the truth bc he didn’t want the consequences.
I am so proud of all these Friends references
you were broken up…
why does it matter now?
sheesh either you wanna be with him or you dont.
just looking for drama to have arent ya?
sort out ya feelings girl…
This is definitely salvageable and makes me sad so many people think relationships should just be thrown away. It will take a lot of hard work and forgiveness but it can be saved. If you love each other don’t give up.
It’s in the past where it should stay
You could hook up with an ex and expect to get back together but you wouldn’t have gotten back with him if you know HE had done it? Sounds like a double standard to me.
You’re allowed to be hurt when that happens yes, as he said he was when you told him about your own hookup. But you can’t hold something against him that you yourself did.
Be upset about his not being transparent as you were sure, but given that you’ve said you wouldn’t have gotten back with him if he HAD, well that’s probably why he lied. He knows you better than you think he does. He knew that you were going to put that double standard on him. It was apparently ok for YOU to have done it but god forbid HE do the same thing. WHILE YOU WEREN’T EVEN TOGETHER.
Okay, no, that is a double standard. If you were allowed to get down and dirty with someone of your choice, he is allowed to, you still found some reason, and for two years damn near, to stay with him. That means you love him, or atleast it appears so. I dislike all my husbands ex’s, my personal opinion, I just don’t like them, but I am not about to sit and get pissed that at some point where we were not together he sexted one or whatever, idk what he did when we werent together and on a break, because ITS NOT MY BUSINESS, you CHOOSE to be transparent, he didn’t, he has the right to choose what he can say and do as well. You don’t have any right to be upset. This is literally so dumb!
I wouldn’t be mad. You weren’t together at the time.
Seriously. get over it.
How are you doing now? How are things going, had you not known this? Communicate and be upfront but it’s in the past. Move forward
“He knows that if he would have told me, we would have broken up”.
Well, clearly if that were the case, he wanted to be with you. But still…you did the same exact thing he did. Regardless if he said something or not, you both did the same exact thing. So, by the one statement you said, it was okay for you to have done it, but not for him.
That’s a wee but selfish and controlling if you want my opinion. Get over it. Y’all weren’t together at the time. You clearly went back to an ex as well.
Be glad yall are still together if you are and move on. Divorces always happen over stupid insignificant stuff.
You put in caps that he got back with his ex right after you broke up so did you want him to sleep with her right before you got back with him like you did with your ex?
Why’s it even matter
Toxic relationship, move on.
You both hooked up with exes so you both are guilty here. You’re not wrong in being upset that he hid it because you were upfront with him, but you also weren’t together at the time so he didn’t have to tell you. What he does/did while you aren’t together isn’t really your business just like you didn’t have to tell him you slept with your fling.
It sounds like it’s time to sit down and have a serious talk with him. Express to him why this hurts you and your expectations going forward. If this is a deal breaker for you, then address it now. If this relationship is worth moving forward with, then make a plan on how to repair the damage and move on together.
Be happy he forgived you and you should do the same or just stop seeing each other.
You both did the same thing. And you weren’t together so there’s nothing you can do about it. He hasn’t slept with anyone since then so it’s not like he’s cheating.
If the relationship isn’t that great now, then leave. However if it is better and you see hope then do whatever to get over it. You both were broken up and to be fair he didn’t have to tell you who he bangs, just like you didn’t have to tell him. That was your choice.
You weren’t together, get over it
Why is it fair for you to be with a fling and have him be ok with getting back together,but if you would’ve known he hooked up you would’ve never gotten back with him? Sounds very petty,stupid and ridiculous. You need to get over yourself.
It all sounds insane to me.
So you can sleep with someone but if he had y’all wouldnt have gotten back together? Ok…
You were broken up but he did lie. And it just seems toxic anyway you slice it. I’d move on…
So it’s ok for you to sleep around but not him when you guys where broke up. Tbh he should have not gotten back with you because you where sleeping around when you guys where getting back together. He did it when you guys broke up. He sounds like he is better off with out you.
He should of told you forsure. I’d be pissed if I found out later.
What bothers you about his hookup with her? Are you insecure about his relationship with her? Or because it happened RIGHT AFTER you broke up? I think you should ask yourself WHY you wouldn’t have gotten together if you had known. Is it about her or him or you? BUT that said, the fact that you were honest with him while he chose not to be with you does say something. He intentionally didn’t tell you because he knew you wouldn’t want to get beach together. He was manipulative. That tells you a lot about him and his relationship with you.
Oh stop it you both did the same thing. Have things been good since you two got married? If so be angry but let it go
How come the person you slept with is okay to get back together, but the person he did is grounds not to? I think you both need to have a serious discussion about the past and how to overcome it or get out of that marriage.
This is dysfunctional. Two wrongs done make a right. Forgive, and forget or you will never be happy with yourself, marriage, or anything else.
Y’all was on break get over it… ant like y’all was together and he did it why is it okay just because you hooked up with someone but he can’t??? That’s dumb
Karma’s a bitch algood for you but not for him
Sarah Diveley Lacie Scott
So he forgave you and still married you but you wouldn’t have forgiven him? Why make a big deal of it now. You can get out of a marriage easy enough whenever u want to.
Errrm wait a second…
so you can sleep with someone while you were broken up but he couldn’t???
Also when someone acts the way he was about emails etc this generally is a great indicator that they are doing those things.
I don’t think anything anyone says is going to make any difference to you or him in this situation
U had someone else’s dick in you while u guys WERE ON BREAK NOT TOGETHER so he put hes in hes ex move along sho sho
Yes you are wrong. You said it yourself you were broke up. And in that time you also slept with someone else. So why is it ok for you to have sex with another guy WHILE YOU WERE BROKE UP but it isnt ok for him to have sex with someone else? Doesnt matter who it was. If it happened while you two were not together it shouldnt count against your relationship.
Whats good for the goose is good for the gander. If you were broken up, even for 2.5 minutes and he slept with someone or you also, you STILL were broken up. You both did it to one another, yes, he lied, you were transparent or whatever but the fact remains you BOTH did it and you were NOT together. Either accept it and move on or walk away. Pretty simple.
It happened when you were broken up. Why do you feel he needs to share every sexual encounter he’s ever had with you?
Why am I the only one who seems to understand that she’s upset that she disclosed but he did not? It was wrong of him to not be honest. He probably knew full well that you wouldn’t get back together if that was the case. Thats why most men hide shit. Anyway, you have every right to be upset, even though you did hook up too, because you were transparent and forthcoming and met with lies in return.
I think that he should of been honest with you. But its over and its done with so just let it go.
How come you can sleep around but when he did it, it’s all bad. Sure I get it he didnt tell you but come on lady. You sound so ridiculous. Grow up. Sounds like hes better off without you!
If you wouldn’t have gotten back with him knowing this earlier then why stay with him now? It’s multiplied by deception & manipulation.
Yall sound toxic and immature… just move on
Honestly who cares? You guys were not together. Length of time is irrelevant. If you can, so can he. Get over it.
What’s good for the goose, is good for the gander