You slept with someone and so did he. I’m confused as to what exactly you’re upset about? You both did it. You weren’t even together. To be quite honest you sound immature and probably shouldn’t even be married. Let it go or leave. Simple 
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Double standard? You both slept with old flings or exes.
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Y’all weren’t together or in the stages of getting back together… I’m not saying you’re completely wrong for feeling the way you do, but it was really none of your business. 
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Why are you even back together with this guy? You should have stayed apart. You can do better.
Wow! You broke up for six months just before you married?! That shows red flags to me. This relationship is doomed.
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Sounds like you’re looking for a reason to leave.
He took you back regardless of what you did n ur saying you wouldn’t have if he’d have been honest. That’s a big hypocrisy!!! It’s a year and a half later…are you happy? Y stew over it if you are. A true relationship/a lifelong relationship works through the problems regardless but forgiving and growing. Let it go it’s in the past grow from it
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In my opinion, what happens while your broken up is none of eachother business.
You felt you had to tell him he felt he didnt.
His eas right after you broke up, yours was in the begging stages of getting back together, TWO VERY DIFFERENT MOMENTS.
Idk. If it’s a huge deal, go your separate ways…
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This coming from a military wife…
I have to say I think she’s most mad because he Hid it from her. Yes she’s upset that it was the ex and yes she may be a little bit petty about it, but I do have to say she’s intitled to feel hurt about him keeping it from her. We had an incident in our marriage and yes he came clean (short of) it was actually not that long ago where I found out he did more then what he said he did. I was devastated it really hurt. It took me back to that time, it took me back to that hurt and it hurts more knowing that he didn’t come all the way clean.part of me felt like he kept that from me thinking that it would alter my decision on going or staying and that’s an ultimate smack in The face. It’s manipulative at best. So I can see why she is upset
However when he brought it up I did not say anything I didn’t harp on it, it was years ago and our marriage has since become a lot stronger. But like I said it still doesn’t take away the hurt. An having an incident with trust with someone who has a job that requires them to travel is hard enough in itself to overcome. When their away from home you have to trust when they say I just went to dinner with one of the guys then came back, you have to trust when they say “I’m to old to be doing that so I stayed back at the baracks or hotel”.
So my advice to you
Where is your marriage at now?
If your good is it really worth having an argument over? All it’s going to do is bring up old/past resentment. For him to come clean now seems like you guys seem pretty secure in your relationship. No body likes getting busted Esp guys! When I harped on him over an over an over it made him angry (I’m not saying he didn’t deserve it ) but it gets to a point where it’s to much, he said every time I brought it up the guilt would just hit him over an over an over. At some point you have to let it go and if you can’t let it go then you need to let him go because it’s not fair to either of you. They say it takes two to make a relationship work and when one does something that breaks trust you need to figure out why? I sat back an I evaluated our relationship and granted he was extremely in the wrong (an by no means was I defending him) but I’m not perfect either and there where things I could have been doing for our relationship that I wasn’t , so I was part of the problem to. We work together to fix it.
My suggestion would be find out what your really upset about and instead of arguing and placing blame on something that happened almost two years ago, tell him how you felt. Just say when you told me that I was hurt, I felt like you didn’t trust me enough to be honest with me like I was with you, and it just really hurt. Moving forward let’s just BOTH try to work on communication because I’m not perfect either and I did something whatever it was, that made you feel like you couldn’t trust or be honest with me.
When I sit down an explain how I felt when ever my hubby did or does something I don’t play the blame game. I’ll say “when you said this, I took it this way and I apologise if that’s not the context you ment it (which 8 out of 10 times I’ll take things the wrong way which I won’t know till i sit and have a conversation with him) so tell me what you mean “
If you are extremely upset to the point where you don’t think you can get past it then you need to go. You should want to work it out with someone instead of just living with them resenting them all the time that’s not fair to them either.
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Yup he knew what he was doing but factor in how long you guys been together since then and how the relationship is.
You were broke up. What he did was none of your business, honestly and what you did was none of his.
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Yes your in the wrong… 1st of all u hooked up with ur ex too 2nd he didnt tell u about it cause he knew u would have freaked out on him and be mad ( and u are ) 3rd u told him u would NOT have gotten back together if u knew he slept with her?? Yet u can and it was ok?? Girl please…
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I think you have a right to be mad that he kept it from you but not to say you wouldn’t have gotten together with him if you knew because you did the same thing. And that’s obviously why he didn’t tell you so ask yourself if you are just looking for an excuse to leave
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You were broke up. He was free to do whatever he wanted/ if he wasn’t you shouldn’t have broke up/ you were also free to do whatever you wanted. End of story
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I was really confused until you said he’s military and then it all made sense
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You hooked up with someone and that’s ok but he wasn’t allowed too? I don’t get it. He took you back after you screwed around with someone but you wouldn’t have taken him back if you knew he did? You have issues. He didn’t have to tell you at all.
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This is all very immature and unhealthy.
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So… It was ok for you to hook up with an ex but not him. Both of y’all have all kinds of trust issues and shouldn’t even be together in the first place.
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Ugh just divorce please
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First, get out of this relationship. I think you both have some issues going on that need to be fixed. Second, he slept with someone while you were broken up and you slept with someone while you were broken up. Getting back together shouldn’t have anything to do with what you did while you were broken up. He probably didn’t tell you because he knew you would act like this. Also, why do you get to pick who he does or doesn’t hook up with while you’re broken up… you were BROKEN UP! You get to sleep with your ex but he doesn’t? This is all immature as hell.
Nope. Sounds like he had trust issues bc he was the one hiding shit
Is this the only lie? Does he still have trust issues? Does he still check up on you constantly? How do the other people you slept with feel about being used? What difference will this make moving forward?
If he is a controlling, habitual liar then maybe he’s not the one for you. If he didn’t tell you because you’d nag him forever after about it, then maybe you’re not the one for him. If this is the only issue you have with each other, get counseling together to hash things out with a professional so you can move past it and stay together.
If you’re both bickering about this constantly, break up, grow up, and learn to manage and express your emotions and communicate in positive and effective ways with others. Only then start into a relationship.
Yes he should have been honest, but you were split up regardless of how long.
you know what the answer is; do you get it?
He didn’t tell you bc he knew you wouldn’t go back to him if he did. He wasn’t as heartbroken over you hooking up with your ex as he felt guilty over what he had done. He hoped that you would not find out. The fact that you both went and had sex with someone else just bc you were temporarily split up shows that neither of you are committed to the other. You BOTH were wrong. Gotta decide if one another is worth forgiving and moving forward with a stronger commitment from both of you.
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Lmao what? You did the same thing too! I have to ask if these are serious
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So, you wouldn’t have gotten back with him if you had known he slept with another female when you were separated, but you expected him to accept the fact that you did the same thing?
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So it was cool for you to sleep with an old fling but if he had told you he did then you wouldn’t have been okay with it and y’all wouldnt be together… Get over it or leave him. It’s in the past and y’all are married
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What’s good for the goose is good for the gander
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You… slept with an ex too. Soo…
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Yes he should have told you and he shudnt have pretended to be so hurt when he did exact same thing.
But how can u say you wouldnt have gotten back with him? You slept with someone too, dont be a hypocrite
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Y’all both did it…and you weren’t exclusive during that time so you have a right to be upset but only you can know if it’s worth ending it over
As Ross Geller says to Rachel in friends.
“we were on a break”
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It sounds to me like both of you have some growing up to do. Both of you should run in opposite directions unless you want a divorce some day. You can’t build a relationship on a shaky foundation.
My husband and I celebrated our 32nd anniversary yesterday. When you meet the right one you will know.
He will be worth waiting for and you won’t cheat because you won’t want to. I am currently lying in a hospital bed. This is the 1st time not being able to go out on our anniversary
Good luck Sweetie.You just haven’t found the right man yet.
Are you both 13? Grow up. Leave. For fucks sake stop asking strangers on fb for life advice.
you slept with an ex too.
you were on a break.
don’t be a hypocrite.
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No offense, but it sucks that he acted so heartbroken, but if you both got with others, I don’t think any one of you is right or wrong here. You say that you would have never gotten back with him if you knew, maybe that’s why he didn’t tell you? Maybe he loved you too much and wanted you all to himself? Either way, it’s a shitty thing to fight about now. He can’t even defend himself, you don’t really have a reason to be mad except that he omitted it. I don’t know, I say get over it.
If you werent together I dont think its cheating but at the same time I dont think if you truly loved each other you would not be able to move on so fast but if you expect him to be with you after hooking up then fair is fair you need to forgive him yes he shouldve told you when you told him and it sucks he didnt but he was able to move past it and so should you if you cant then split up and stay that way because without trust there is no real relationship
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Lol so the only difference was because you told him and he didn’t? Lol you guys hooked up with someone else as soon as you both could the nerve of you saying “if he had told me we wouldn’t had gotten back together” sounds hypocrite, are you so privilege to be forgiven? Why because you told him? Or because you’re a female?
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You were getting back together knowing you slept with someone else. So what your are saying is that you can do something but he can’t. You are allowed your feeling because you didn’t have them before. Outside of that he didn’t do anything you didn’t do.
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It really seems like he has a pattern of projecting what he is really guilty of. I would have major pause with trusting him at all. Since trust is so important I would seek a therapist who can help you guys rebuild that trust.
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And for everyone saying forgive him - he kind of lied with acting heartbroken that she would be with someone else as if he didn’t do the same exact thing. She just had the balls to tell him. Hiding stuff isn’t good for a relationship 
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If you can’t let that go then maybe it is time to just cut but it happened while you guys are broken and it’s f***** up that he told you last minute but the past is the past and if you guys want to work it out you guys can just throw all that crap behind you & move forward.
If you love your hubby let it go. Technically y’all were not together and you stated that you slept with someone too. I understand you think he should have told you because you told him but men think they’re protecting women by not saying anything
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The reality is you were not together. All though you let him know he really wasn’t under any obligation to tell you. If he has sought help for his insecurities what’s the issue?
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Guys just think they can do whatever and we are just gonna sit back and let them have their way ! Its like looking at other women its ok for them but 
we look at another man or another man flirts w/ us and its the end of the world ! I don’t get and I’ll never will .
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This is very childish behavior. Just because you both slept with other people doesn’t mean anything to the relationship now. If you’ve got your act together and your marriage is going pretty well, dont beat a dead dog. No matter what it cannot be changed and there is nothing you can do so. Be happy and make the best of it or split up before it gets really ugly. Thise are the only options you have at this point.
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You were broken up. You both did the same thing. The only difference is you admitted to it. I guess I’d have to ask why. What did you feel like trying would help and what did he think would be better by not sharing? Honestly, he probably just wanted to avoid the confrontation. If you feel like you can’t trust him NOW, it’ll be hard to move on, but he has moved on from what you did, so if you want to continue the relationship, its best to forgive & move on.
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Move past this he did it when u were broke up. Women like knowing all this info but men don’t like talking about it. I think if you love him move past it and have a happy life. Once you guys are more stable and comfortable with each other his trust issues will subside.
Sounds like to me at the time neither of you were committed to each other since it didnt bother either of you to hook up with someone else so easily but you sound like you want your cake an eat it too. Let it go … if you truly love this guy . It was in the past…maybe he didnt tell you because he didnt want to hurt you…who knows men are wierd like that
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If you are Happily Married why would either of you question the past. Forget it & move forward. Life is to short to live in the past. GOD Bless both of you.
You weren’t together whats the problem? You did it? He just stayed quiet about it bc he probably didn’t want to hurt you
Who cares! Move on. Everyone needs some and u both hit the rebounds so enjoy 
Get over it or leave him. You were broken up & it is in the past. Life is too short.
If you love him, get over it. You were not together at the time. I hate saying it but that’s the way some men are
Lack of trust either means you’ve broken it before or he’s hiding stuff and projecting. Since he wasn’t transparent with you about boning his ex, I would definitely say he’s projecting
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He should have told you when you told him. It wasn’t wrong to have the fling in my opinion–you both did it, just at dif stages. But, he DID manipulate you.
So, its ok for you to hook up with a previous fling but its not ok for him to? To the point where you wouldn’t have taken him back? He took you back knowing you did the same? Don’t ask if you don’t want the answer. You didn’t have to volunteer any information about your sex life while you were apart
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Move on. Don’t ask questions about what happened when you were broken up with someone. You will never like the answers.
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He should said something but if he knew your feelings didn’t tell cause he was afraid to lose you. Look at it that way. Honestly not big deal you where broke up you step out and so did he. At the end girl you got the man
It doesnt matter that you werent together he should have been HONEST W/ YOU NOW BOTH OF YOU ARE GOING TO WORK THIS OUT BECAUSE IF YOU DONT YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE TRUST ISSUES GO TO MARRIAGE COUNSELING. I really hope you both work this out.
It’s in the past, you guys are married now. As long as he’s been faithful since you got back together why are you worried about it?
Well, you weren’t together, so he did have a right to it, especially since you were not at the getting back together point. It’s not unusual for men to do this sort of thing right after a breakup, yet they will act like if we do, it’s horrible. Men are just wired differently, and at the time he probably thought you would run back right away, and give in. Yes he probably didn’t mention it because he knew it would cause problems. You did tell him and that’s great, but at that point is life and decisions were his own. But gotta tell you, some men are very manipulative this way. I would say this is one to let go, but watch his manipulative mannerisms in the future and see if they are worth dealing with. Look clearly at both of your motives and identity toxic behaviors you both have ( because everyone has some) and figure out how to deal with them fairly and honestly.
Maybe he did not want to hurt you. Remember how heartbroken he was to hear about affair looking to just move forward what difference does it make you both had sex with someone while apart move on
Why r u worried about the past? U hooked up and decided to share, he didn’t. If your relationship is good now, why ruin it over petty stuff that’s long gone?
You were not together and while you are not together it is not your business. You choose to tell to him about your fling to aleviate you conscience. Your choice. He choose not to tell you. His choice. You got to move on.
If when you were trying to get back together and both people were supposed to be honest about what happened then he should have said what he had done just like you did
Sounds like yr both well suited 4 each other… congratulations
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well men always … always think what a women did is worse, and as you said he knew you would not have gotten back together if he had told you about that hook up… so yes you were manipulated into what he wanted… it’s up to you now on moving forward with it without him… and people throw “well we were not together” so easily… sometimes it can be days or months but to manipulate one to think it’s okay in a small time frame to be with someone else… lay with them …talk with them, is bull crap… when they say “well were not together”… if it’s right away… then that person is already done with that other person period or does not care… otherwise there would be no sleeping or talking to another person.
Yes you have a right to be mad, no it wasn’t cheating but when you came clean he should have done the same thing unless he was hiding something
This is a None Issue. Not together means Not together. End of story. You blabbed, he didnt. None of your business.
You are being a hypocrite. Him getting back with you after you slept with your ex is OK, but you wouldn’t have gotten back with him if you had known? He probably should have told you then. If yourehappy now, stop overthinking it and move on.
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Did you ask him at the time you disclosed yours whether he had done the same?
If not, he should’ve told you. But, you weren’t together do it wasn’t cheating. You weren’t even married.
this is going to come out wrong no matter what so here is goes… does it matter? does it change how you feel right now?
Yes , look at your future together and don’t give lace to your past
Only go forward. The past is gone.
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None of your business if you were broken up.
Why dont you both gtfu and call it a day either make the relationship work or cut ties
You literally did the same thing. Stop being mad because y’all both had flings.
What the heck are you two fighting about…you BOTH hooked up with someone while you broke up. GROW UP!
You’re no different than him!!! 
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Sounds like you are looking for excuses to get out of your marriage now. I dont mean that in a bad way either. If you are going to continue to feel this way, it’s going to put a rain cloud over your relationship. If you cant move on from these feelings, maybe it’s just not meant to be.
It’s because it was his EX, I totally understand!
Move on. But you are both in the wrong for doing it.
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Soooo, you can screw whoever you want but want him to be with just you, even when y’all are broke up? Maybe you are the problem?
May I ask how young both of you are
You are valid innyour feelings. But in order to move forward you cant let this dwell
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You weren’t together and you had a fling too. Get over it.
Look forward not back!
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You are on a bike it doesn’t matter
Y’all weren’t together so anything goes for both of y’all.
Not together not cheating
Grow up. You’re married now. Let it go.
Tit for tat how can you be mad
Don’t be selfish bitch. Some things are better left unsaid. You fucked why couldn’t he. Get over urself
Don’t be a hypocrite
Well that’s the choice you BOTH made literally. You BOTH made the choice to come clean, you knew that it was was probably going to hurt. Atleast he told you. Personal experience my husband did the same thing, with his ex whore. But atleast he told me and that is what matters, I was very upset about the whole thing I couldn’t talk to him for a week. So after I calmed down we talked about it and we talked about it for two days, (also my husband was involved with me the ex whore and his gf at the same time). After that we buried the mistake got married a month later and we really don’t talk about it until someone asks. Now you BOTH new to pull up your adult pants figure out how to move past this together or your marriage will be over. Yes both your feelings are valid now thr future is on you.
Why is it okay for you to hook up with an old fling while you were separated but not for him to do the same…if you were separated does it really matter if it was right away (him) or six months later (you)? Also, if he didn’t have the decency to tell you right away when you were being transparent then were there others he’s not telling about also?
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Why can you hook up with an ex but he can’t? It’s really neither of your business what the other does while you’re broken up in my opinion 
seems like you’re stretching searching for a reason to leave. Also considering you said he would take you back even though you slept with an ex but you wouldn’t take him back if he did? Seems like he deserves better than that also you said you hooked up with someone WHILE you were in the stages of getting back together with him? Seems like you’re in the wrong here from most angles 
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Did you ask him if he slept with anyone while on this breakup? If not, then your bad. If so and he lied then his bad. Either way leave the past in the past.
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I mean y’all weren’t together and you did it too…I would try to forget about it. Unless you’re looking for a reason not to be with him then use it