I say “let it go”. Did he do anything unfaithful?
I found out my partner was on tinder talking to other women a the start of our relationship: Advice?
Either you trust him, or you don’t. If you don’t then do yourselves a favor and break up now.
Girl know your worth, for your own child…… no trust no love…, it faded really quick w shady ppl
Either get past the past or move on. Don’t dwell on it and torture yourself or that man. It’s old.
Sounds like something very petty to hold a grudge over.
Dude deserves better
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My husband and I had the same issue…it hurt a lot at first but we’ve talked it through and I dont think about it anymore. He wasnt sure if we were gonna last in the beginning and left some options open just didn’t go beyond talking. When he felt we were for real he stopped. We’ve been together for 3 years and I found this out in the first. You do what you feel is right hun. But if you want things to work and have trouble getting past it definitely go to therapy maybe even couples therapy.
My husband and I had the same issue…it hurt a lot at first but we’ve talked it through and I dont think about it anymore. He wasnt sure if we were gonna last in the beginning and left some options open just didn’t go beyond talking. When he felt we were for real he stopped. We’ve been together for 3 years and I found this out in the first. You do what you feel is right hun. But if you want things to work and have trouble getting past it definitely go to therapy maybe even couples therapy.
If he’s not still doing it, then why would this even bother you? Are you kidding? If you’re insecure address that, but don’t project your issues onto him… I’d be thinking you’re too much drama and too insecure to understand that that’s not cheating… maybe you were not on the same page at the time, but now you are? Is holding onto this worth sacrificing your relationship for?
I think at the beginning of a relationship sometimes one person wants to be serious before the other one is fully ready, and so they agree but they’re not quite there yet. Sounds like this was your partner, he was ready to exclusively date but not ready to give up having other options in case it didn’t work out.
Also tinder can be quite addictive and you almost have to wean yourself off of it.
Did he bring it up? How did it come up? If he brought it up then that shows that he is particularly worthy of trust now (not that he isn’t if he didn’t) it’s just even more impressive.
Fear is never a good thing, be cautious but please don’t let a small thing like fear wreck an otherwise beautiful relationship. Forgiveness will also be more possible if fear is the reason why you’re angry and unforgiving. Deal with the fear and deal with the other problem of unforgivingness <3
All of them pros you just listed and you’re gonna ruin it with that one thing that you think is a issuse. Alot of men wouldn’t even attempt to go out of their way to make up for something that’s only bothering you. There’s so many more things out there that can happen or go wrong in a relationship ( trust me by the way you describe him you have it made)…try to work on letting go of this small silly thing 
.
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Let it go! Seriously let it go. If u can’t forgive him n will hold this against him then leave that man alone in the end seriously.
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What? How long ago did this happen? Over a year? If you’re looking for a way out, there you go I guess. If not, I’d try to move past this and not act like he owes you something more than what he already does just for having a couple of conversations over a year ago… You describe him as a good man so be his counterpart, a good woman.
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Your insecurities could make you lose a potential life partner. I get where you’re coming from but leave it in the past where it belongs!
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He was wrong but he isn’t doing anything now. The past isnt something we can change and shouldn’t be judged by it. The present is what we have. You presently have no issues? Leave it be. Don’t pull yourself and your relationship down by bringing things up from the past. It’s gone and should stay that way.
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You have to decide if you can live with it. It’s not something anyone else can tell you.
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Idk if it was long ago I guess whatever but how did it come to light and when was it deleted.
Get over it. I don’t understand why people fell opposite sex people can’t be friends, if you are in a relationship with someone.
Try to look at it from his perspective. He is being a mature person about it. Don’t you think it hurts him profusely that you don’t trust him? When he’s been showing you all this time he’s the person you need in your life. Most men wouldn’t put up with that. They would deny it ever happened. He’s asked for forgiveness and admitted to being wrong but it didn’t even go further as to some conversations (from what you’re sharing). It happened a long time ago. Unless he’s giving you reasons and proof for you to not trust him, then let it go. He didn’t cheat, he takes care of your kid, you’re exclusive. Don’t lose something precious. Forgiveness shows more strength than being unforgiving and harsh. Don’t lose a great relationship. It’s water under the bridge.
The man was honest and the tinder has been deleted. If I were you I wouldn’t throw such a good relationship away just because of that. It also was way back before y’all got serious. He sounds genuinely sorry.
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Let that go or lose a good man. That’s up to you. You weren’t exclusive at that time anyway. He apologized for it and said it was wrong. Let’s not focus on him, let’s talk about you. You have insecurities you need to work on. Do that rather than take those out on him.
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Seriously it’s been and done over a year ago
I’ve dated several people off of tinder and plenty of fish before I got married. Never took down my account, even if we started getting serious. As I recall, neither did the guy. It just wasn’t a big issue because we weren’t really that serious and ir never came up. But I only dated these guys for maybe two or three months. If I was dating somebody long-term, sure I’d want them to delete it. But a few months? Meh…
This happened to me as well except it was Fb. He continued doing this our whole relationship, in fact I kicked him out two weeks ago today for this same crap! I pray he really stopped for you because I don’t want you to feel the pain I’ve gone through.
If this happened a year and a half ago, let It go…
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I don’t see it as an issue. It was over a year ago, and you weren’t that far into your relationship with him at that point.
I think the fact that you just recently found out about it is clouding the issue. It’s making you feel like he has been cheating this whole time, because he knew about it this whole time and never said anything about it.
Put yourself in his shoes. Once he realized you were “the one”, why would he want to risk losing you by telling you about something that really meant nothing to him.
As strong and confident as men might seem to be, they can be just as insecure as women can be.
Sounds like to me that he was caught in one of those situations where he hesitated to tell you, then the moment was lost, and then he felt awkward to bring it up. He might have been just as into you as you were into him, but maybe he was feeling insecure and not sure you felt the same about him at the beginning.
I don’t know … just seems like water under the bridge to me. He’s with you now, and has been for over a year. You guys seem to have a great relationship. I would say if he had been more defensive, or blew it off like it was no big deal, you might have a concern. But in fact, it really isn’t a big deal, and yet he is bending over backwards to ask forgiveness and trying to prove to you that he loves you. Concentrate on the future, not the past. Recognize that none of us are perfect … life is an ongoing learning experience. Good luck!
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You have to make a decision to forgive him, or not. If you forgive him move on and don’t bring it up again. Even if you’re thinking about it don’t bring it up. And if you can’t forgive him or just know you won’t, then move on. There’s no reason for you both to suffer over something from before you were even a couple.
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Was he right? No. Is it worth possibly losing a good relationship over? No. 
He fucked up, owned up to it and isn’t the same, move on or leave it alone.
Oh well you even said that he didn’t cheat you wasn’t officially together. Grow up or set him free. He’s with you so be happy if he’s not abused you or the child
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You literally said he didn’t cheat on you because you weren’t officially together. Your insecurities are going to cost you what seems like a great partner. If you are unable to actually forgive and move on, i.e. not bring it up in future arguments, then you need to leave the relationship. This seems very childish.
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Is doing it anymore? Did he cheat on you while exclusive? No? Then let it go.
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So he was probably talking to several girls, chose you, and then let the others fizzle out. I mean, kudos to him for not just ghosting them! Sucks when you are talking to a guy and all communication just stops and you don’t know why. Maybe he was just considering their feelings as well.
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Sounds like you’re digging for no reason. Trying to find a reason that something is wrong. Maybe it’s your own insecurities.
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You aren’t officially after 1.5 years and hes raising your son? Ummm
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You can’t be mad at something that was done before you’re relationship. That will ruin you. He hasn’t done anything while you’ve been together. He’s been loyal, honest and faithful. If you wanna bring up old shit go for it but you’re going to lose him if you don’t let it go.
Seriously? Let it go. He obviously is trying to rectify the mistake. He has stopped the behavior. Let it go.
Dump him. There’s no reason for him to still be on a dating website if he was being exclusive. He’s either looking for greener grass or having someone waiting in the wings.
Its always going to eat you. But is it worth after 1.5 ending probably not.
The past is past. Look at all his good qualities. Looking is not touching.
break up he won’t change love yourself respect yourself know you deserve better and there is better out there
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Stfu and leave that man alone. He already admitted he was wrong (he was NOT wrong) and apologized (he has nothing to apologize for). Leave him alone. You got more than you deserve.
Why do you date if you’re not a forgiving person? Relationships are a lot of work and there will be time where you will have to forgive people…
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I get it. Especially if you’re an insecure person it’s hard to let things like that go. Remember that he stopped, he admitted to the issue and is trying to heal the damage. He’s not trying to weasel his way out, he’s facing the facts head on. He’s good for you and your child. Take time to recognize that and how rare a genuine connection can be. Don’t miss out on what’s been and will continue to be a beautiful relationship because he was flirting with some strangers before you guys were serious. The punishment would not fit the crime. In the meatime please talk to someone. Lack of trust and difficulty forgiving are usually trauma based issues and can be resolved.
He was still messaging women 3 DAYS after the third date? 3 days is better than weeks, months… years… I’d allow it, like you said he didn’t cheat and he hasnt lied about it either. You just seem to want there to be an issue
My question is for him. Can he be with someone who is nontrusting & non forgiving ? Seriously he was chatting with some girls on social media while dating you and deciding if you & he were exclusive? Nothing happened. No date. Nothing but conversation? Sounds like you have serious trust issues and need counseling.
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He didn’t cheat. He didn’t pursue anyone else. He’s with you. Yall were BARELY together. You can’t be mad about him keeping his options open while DATING. If you want to throw out a good man who has stepped up for a child who isn’t even his then go for it. But you’ll regret it.
I mean most people don’t just meet someone and from the go be like oh we together now. Not to sound mean but that’s pretty much still the “dating” phase. Sure, men will say y’all are “exclusive” but trust me, no it’s not at first. Even I don’t stop “talking” to other guys for a couple of months til I’m sure it’s going somewhere and we are compatible, etc. Love at first sight is very rare. Typically people “date around” or talk to a few people (not meaning having sex with a few) and eventually just stick with the one they are most into and who’s company they enjoy the most. You can’t really tell this by the third date.
When my hubby and I first met we both had things going on on the side at that time. Once we were official that was it. Happily married almost ten years and we have so many more ahead 
It sounds like things are good and I wouldn’t let yesterday take that away from y’all.
It sounds like your relationship was in a grey area at the time so though you’re valid to be upset, I don’t think he did something unforgivable. If things are good now then focus on what you have, not on how committed he was when you first met.
I’m confused… everyone has a past or even baggage. You have an ex and a child. Why is that ok but for him to talk to other women is a sin that you are having trouble with.
The ball is in your court little lady it’s up to you to forgive and forget don’t expect him to jump through hoops for you he has apologized for the mistakes he’s made he’s looking forward to continue the relationship if you feel that you can’t trust them tell them so and the relationship and move on with your life and allow him to do the same I’m sure you both will be hurt but it’s better now to be hurt then later on. I wish you both the best of luck
I mean… you literally said y’all weren’t officially together when this happened so… he really didn’t do anything wrong. Y’all were talking, just starting out to see if a relationship was even in the equation, “dating”. Worrying about it now, after all this time, is just adding stress to yourself that you don’t need.
You’ve only been together 18 months & not even official all of that time. Its still early days - if he’s broken your trust, call it quits
Sounds like you can’t forgive and will continue to punish him until you fully push him away. Then when he is back on tender you won’t have anyone to blame but yourself. So if he is important seek counseling for yourself on how to forgive and move forward.
In my opinion, he’s proven himself. I would forgive and forget. But if you can’t let it go, then do HIM a favor and let him go. He deserves to find a woman who will trust him.
He wasn’t Romantically going after someone else definitions of dating are different for everyone.
And to be fair you WERE the only one he was pursuing ROMANTICALLY… I don’t see the issue if things have been cool for a year.
Seems like a YOU issue and not an”him” issue. Seems he is practically kissing your butt for something that didn’t even happen 
If I were HIM I’d see your actions as a huge red flag and god forbid he ever did something he needed to apologize for like forget to grab toilet paper cause he would be apologizing until Christmas.
You need to realize he didn’t DO anything and MANY people keep a back burner person in the wings just in case someone ends up turning out to be unstable.
I would kindly suggest finding a therapist for yourself to discover why you don’t trust people and are unforgiving … that seems like a lot of hoops to make someone jump through
Let it go. You said yourself you guys were exclusive which nowadays I don’t understand that shit you’re either together or you’re not. That was over a year ago. Don’t get me wrong you have every right to be upset but don’t poison your relationship with it… Sit down with him and talk to him about how you feel and how you feel it will affect your future together and try to come up with a solution if you really love this man and this man really loves you you will make it work.
Are there ANY questions on here that arent just completley idiotic. GIRL!!! Yall werent exclusive. What he did before yall made a commitment is absolutely not your business. That would be like getting mad because someone had sex before they met you. I am blown away that you even think this is an issue. In my mind he should run away and fast. Jealousy (and thats what this is) will eat you up and destroy a relationship.
I’d say it might be helpful for you to go to therapy to talk about why it’s hard for you to forgive and get to the root of your trust issues. It seems that your boyfriend was honest with you, and if he’s a good partner, he’s never given you a reason to doubt him. Your life will not be as fulfilling if you can’t trust people, and not being able to forgive only hurts you.
Agree with the other ladies. If you weren’t technically “together” and he deleted it as soon as you guys were official then there shouldn’t be a problem:) you guys sound like a great couple
I say let it go. It sounds like you were still in the dating stages and not necessarily committed to each other. He has stepped up and shown you he is committed to you. If this was later on in the relationship, I could understand. But I say let this go.
You know what is going on now. Maybe give him a chance but you will watch his behavior. You will be able to tell if he changes toward you. If it happens again I would move on for your child.
He didn’t cheat. And men need more time to fully.commit then we do. I say it’s in the past, you love him, he’s a great father. Move on!
If you weren’t “official” exclusivity lines are little blurry. It would be crazy for someone to cut all ties to other people they’ve been talking to for someone they aren’t official with. It would eat me up inside but logically, I think he just wanted to be sure before he dropped everyone else
He didn’t do anything wrong. This sounds highly toxic if he had to Apologize ans feel guilty when he didn’t do anything. You weren’t truly together at that point. Let it go and move past it
Let it go it was at the beginning and it was before you guys was official and he deleted the account and he stepped up as a father to your child he Obviously cares for you and wants to be with you I’d just let it go
You were not officially together yet so really you have nothing to forgive. He didnt do anything wrong. Are you trying to use this as away to push him away.
Meh. When I was young I would have gotten wound up about this. But at 44. I don’t care. I have built so much confidence over the years that I feel like I would forgive this pretty easily. I understand the upset. But it sounds like he’s a good dude. Yes he messed up, but temporary, not physical, he was just seeking attention. It’s not that important .
Move on. If he hid that what else is he hiding.
Is this That moment you realized you just want a reason to be upset…any reason…
So how did it come to light that he’d been on Tinder chatting up girls?
He’s been honest , been a great partner , don’t let this tiny hiccup spoil a wonderful relationship x let it go x
2 very important keys
#1- forgiveness
#2- Trust
Double edge sword. It’s not always rainbow’s and it’s not always stormy nights.
It is what you make it. You give to receive
A good person is in your perspective, He might have other agendas,
Here’s a free bee. Communication is key
Talk and see if this is really what you both want. See if all side pieces are no longer an option. Ohh
Honesty is the best policy
I pray a great turn out for you
Move on and let it go. Especially if y’all are in a good place and happy.
Grow up Petty Betty before you loose a good man.
This whole explanation is unnecessary. It doesn’t matter the history of the relationship or his apologies. You know what to do. You just don’t have the courage and you are enjoying the ass kissing. You know you should leave him. The fact that you’re asking for advice, says you’re gonna stay and when things go back to “normal” you’ll find a reason to bring it up and continue the toxic cycle of “being hurt and confused” so that you can get the ass kissing attention.
Make a tinder and bumble profile as well. He is not happy with you and is shopping around for a better fit.
You were official and serious after 3 dates… sounds like you made that decision on your own… if he’s committed now and things are good…why make drama where there isn’t any?
I personally feel like MOST people deserve 2nd chances. BUT not 3rd,4th,5th etc
Yall were not officially together but you were exclusive? How does that work?
Pick one.
Sounds like when he decided you were the only one he wanted he stopped all that. If tou weren’t officially together, idk how upset you can be. I’m sure it’s a bitter pill to swallow but you said it yourself, he didn’t cheat. Don’t cause issues on something that isn’t a thing.
Let it go. It was the beginning of your relationship. To hold someone to a commitment before they had even decided to be committed to you is immature.
Let it go especially if he’s not doing anything currently. Why make waves? If you weren’t serious at the time then let it go.
He’s lying! Kick him to the curb
The feeling, It will pass…
Move on but keep an eye out. Trust can be rebuilt over time.
Dump him. Move on. He will cheat.
Is this a serious question like if you feel that strongly about something so minimal you should probably just be alone then
My goodness he has you snowed. Stop making excuses for poor behavior! The fuckhead was cheating!
Honestly I think him even letting you know is a sign he has good intentions. While it can be disheartening, it comes down to it that things are always so uncertain at the start of relationships especially when people are still getting to know one another and figuring out their stance with the other person etc.
Nobody is perfect, and we’ve all faltered in one way or another. If this man is good to you, good to your child, and treats you both with love and respect - then I think he deserves forgiveness in something most would find dismal in the long scheme of things 
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Seems like you are trying to find something to sabotage what sounds like a good relationship. Maybe insecurities on your end. Whatever it is just accept that this was in the beginning before you hardly knew each other and he has shown his commitment and worth since then. Let it go and move, Dont ruin it if this is what you want.
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You’re COMPLETELY overreacting!!! Don’t lose him cause of YOUR insecurities!
There seems to be a lot of this “just talking” when people are in a relationship, I don’t understand it but am not of this generation, only u can decide if u trust him & move on from it, but these sites are always out there & so accessible
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I really think its down to weather you can get past it and not throw it back in his face. I have been in this position and for me I couldn’t let it go, I was constantly paranoid that he was chatting to someone and it ruined our relationship. Only you know how your gonna feel x
the first step to fixing a problem is admitting there is a problem. it seems to me that he cares about you, most guys would get pissed if you brought something up about them talking to other girls or whatever. If you really don’t know how to go about it try couples therapy. I know it sounds weird but if you find the right therapist (not a robot ) then they really might be able to help:3 I hope things get figured out!
You’re not enough for him…
Go with the gut!!!
Why bring this up after so long? 
Are you kidding?