Put it behind you and enjoy your relationship honey!!
I found out my partner was on tinder talking to other women a the start of our relationship: Advice?
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In every relationship, there will come a time when things come up, and these things will be deal breakers. Itâs up to you to decide if heâs worth forgiving, if heâs worth trusting, if you love him and want your future with him enough to get past this. My marriage started in a not so great place, because trauma, so my husband and I just got to a point where we were honest about our pasts, but the past didnât affect our relationship because those things donât matter anymore. He is the only person I have loved enough to do that much work for, and it is work, itâs a lot of work.
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He chooses you every day⌠he was honest about it⌠let it go
Pack your bags and your baby. Then, leave him.!
Then let it eat you and dwell on the past.
Forgive him and move on. Donât ruin a good thing for some petty early ârelationshipâ nonsense. If heâs not doing anything currently and heâs alive and with you, be happy and grateful for what you have. Not everyone is so lucky.
Iâve actually gotten cheated on three times and was able to move past it same situation he stepped up as my daughters father isnât involved I did take time to myself and talk to other guys trying to peruse something but I still only wanted him after multiple long talks set boundaries and him understanding I was able to let it go as heâs proved heâs changed because I donât believe words I believe actions . We are happily together with our children and he has gained my trust back . No relationship is perfect some people can not move past being cheated on and some can , in my case he was good enough to make my daughter happy and change to make me happy . You will know yourself . Hope this helps
Move on girl not worth it
Let it go⌠move on with your relationship
If heâs not your husband then heâs not yours 
NopeSend him packing once a cheater always a cheater if he truly loved you he wouldnât want or be interested in talking to anybody else he could just be acting like he really cares about you because itâs convenient more convenient than being by himself I would never put up with that kick rocks bye-bye
Girl. . . you are just looking for a reason to be a victim and will end up single. STOP. IT.
Smh⌠He talking to other girls⌠Lol grow some balls
He was honest. He didnât sleep with anyone.
If you love him and you have a good relationshipâŚlet it go.
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He sounds like a good person who made a mistakeâŚ
Nothing just keep being in the drama free relationship you been in to me if you wasnât in a relationship he was free to do as he pleases but if he hasnât done anything wrong since its been official why ruin a good thing. Leave it be
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Iâm sure you make mistakes too 
Time will tell. If he lies to you again you have your answer. Good luck.
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Choose your battles. This is not a battle to fight. Sounds like a good man to me! Youâre going to push him away with your doubt.
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But yall werenât an official couple yet so technically what did he do wrong? 
I honestly think you are pushing him away because of your own insecurities. He sounds like a good man. Forgive him and move past it.
He wasnât engaging in other women romantically but what about sexually? If he was tryna build with you but dickin down other women - thatâs fucked. It sounds like he wasnât sure about you at first and wanted to keep his options open in case you werenât for him⌠Regardless you prolly wonât ever forget this but everyone deserves a second chance - unless they cheat then they can get fucked. IMO
He probably knows this about you and thatâs why he lied in the beginning. HoweverâŚit doesnât excuse the fact that you basically started your committed relationship on a lie.
Big piece of this story is missing and thatâs HOW you found out about this. That is important to share if you want solid advice.
Get over it. No need to ruin a good thing over something that has no part in your relationship now
If youâre not officially together he can talk to whoever he wants but the minute he decided he wanted to be with you and ONLY YOU he cut everything else off. So, whatâs the issue here? Heâs apologized, has never cheated, admitted he was wrong, and doesnât defend his actions. Heâs done all he can to right his past wrongs and if you keep holding it against him heâs gonna leave. From what you said about him heâs an awesome dude and Iâd just let it go because youâre gonna destroy a good thing. Go see a therapist so you can get over some the issues that you obviously have
DONT BE WALKED ON
ITS THAT SIMPLE
Move on
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Dont let this man go. He sounds amazing. 
If you forgive him you move past it.
Speaking from many years of experience here, if that was something at the beginning and he stopped once he was confident in your relationship, let it go. Youâve got a man who treats you AND your child well. Thatâs a rarity. Let it go, and move forward.
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So if he came clean and was honest and its been deleted and everything else has been good Iâd let it go he didnât kno where you would end up 3 dates in and talking to other people isnt bad as long as he wasnât sleeping around I think you should take a deep breath and think of all the good things and ways hes stepped up since youâve been together and figure out if itâs worth it to throw that all away I personally donât but if itâs gunna eat at you and your gunna make him pay for years to come let him go
Hereâs the thing if yall werenât official, then you need to get over it period. Iâve talked to multiple guys before I was married when I wasnât exclusive with anyone but was more or less looking for that possibility. People canât wait forever if he had other options that were a possibility oh well. Multiple mingle before they decide they found the âright oneâ so to speak. Yall werenât together so it is definitely something to look past. If heâs doing it in your relationship now thatâs a different story.
I would not trust him. If you 2 had the agreement or you were told that he was just seeing you it was sti a lie and still an attempt to cheat. He is gonna have to earn back that trust and I would be watching every damn thing
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It seems to me that he was honest with you about what he did and what his intentions were and that when yâall got serious he stopped and put an end to it. If he has been faithful to you and honest this entire time I donât feel theres a need to leave him or anything a year later. He admits his wrongs and fixed them so I would leave it be if it were me. Not going to lie yes I would be upset but I wouldnât cause a scene or fight or end the relationship because of it.
My husband did the same thing. Exactly. I was not in a place to leave. I found sexually explicit photos sent to these women. On a tablet my children also used. Trust me. He will do it again if that is the only account. I am divorcing now. He cheated several times. He has already violated your trust. And your not even married. That is the biggest red flag ever. I stayed 26 years. Through affairs, online cheating amongst other things. Trying to be the good wife. Donât make my mistake. Get out now. Donât get into a relationship where you have to worry where he goes or who he is talking to. Feeling like your never enough. It us an aweful way to go through life.
In the start of the relationship with my husband and I 20yrs ago he was seeing other people as well as I was. You canât expect him to drop other girls or him to delete his tinder because he had gone on dates with you even if he told you he was exclusive. He needs to see where exactly the relationship is going before doing something like that. I stopped talking to the other guys once seen that my husband and I were going into something serious and I really liked him
If heâs not trying to make himself a victim & heâs admitting fault, u really do have to forgive him & trust him. We (women) tend to over think & over analyze everything. Sometimes to the point of self destruction. If heâs stepping up for a child thatâs not his then heâs definitely a keeper. The last thing ur gonna want to do is ruin the relationship over something that never happened. U know in ur gut he didnât cheat. Take some time to think about how u would feel if u let him go & he finds someone else & makes her so happy. Donât let ur mind ruin ur happiness. It seems like u have a lot going for each other. Trust the process & learn how to forgive. This could be ur test from the universe to see if u could handle the blessings it gave u. Its not like he was hitting on people u know. Dating sites are mostly for entertainment anyway. Keep that in mind as u move forward & past this. People donât spend 30+ yrs together problem free. This is a minor issue that u can & will get past. But donât be too hard on him over small things because when big things happen, he will be afraid to open up to u. Best of luck sweetheart.
If he were the one he wouldnât need anyone elseâs attention nor want it. Personal opinion and experience take it or leave it 
best of luck regardless
âMy partners talking to other women on tinderâ, âOur relationship is healthyâ. I know yâall gots to lie to yourselves about these men but cmon now.
So your mad over something that happenedâŚa year and a half ago?
Is what im understanding? Ph met that long ago lol sorry but still
Hes with youâŚbuilding a foundation with youâŚhe chose you.
Stop it.
You forgive and forget and be reasonable and understanding and put it in the past itâs a choice stop holding onto it itâs unhealthy for you and your relationship and if you continue to LET it eat at you you could ruin something really good
Once a cheater always a cheater. He lied to you I wouldnât trust him. Without trust there is no relationship in my opinion
Is everyone somehow missing the fact that he LIED? He blatantly said they were exclusively. Thereâs absolutely no difference between officially dating and being âexclusiveâ so I have no idea wtf OP is talking about there but if he lied the first time, heâll do it again.
If he tells you to your face that yâall are exclusive and he isnât talking to any other women and then he is, that is a man who will have no problem cheating on you down the road. And frankly you have no way to know when he deleted tinder. It couldâve been a week ago
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Iâm confused. You were exclusive but not officially together? Which is it? Those are the same thing to meâŚ
Girl, stop trippin. Your about to throw away what sounds like a good man for no real reason.
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Girl get you a diamond or a lake house or something 
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Get over yourself and grow up
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Ditch him. Ditch everyone. Everyones trash and i bet you nowhere near deserve this. Thats who this kind of stuff happens to most.
He did nothing wrong In my opinion. Let it go!
You werenât together so it shouldnât matterâŚ
Uh itâs not that big of a deal honestly
Get over it, thatâs what you do.
Benefit of the doubt, and move on.
âŚ.exhaustingâŚI canâtâŚ.
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Yâall are talking he like cheated. Gtfoh!!
I think your trippin 
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Wowww youâre an idiot
Well⌠he lies. Never trust a liar. Sorry.
Jesus insecurity is gross
Throwing up the past wonât make your future any better.
Please stop with your foolishness
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Gawd, hunny, wait til u hit big girl shit lol.
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Petty. Work on you momma 
sometimes these anonymous posts seem so fake.
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Let it go, let it go
-Elsa-
Werenât together, I see no issue with it.
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He is not the one. Bye!
If you werenât oficial at the moment then he didnât do anything wrong 
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Forgive and move forward
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Is he apologizing because he got caught? If he said you were exclusive, why continue to chat with others??
Depends on you really, if you distrust him, it will slowly eat away at you. If you forgive him then forgive him but you canât ever use it against him. Best of luck.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I found out my partner was on tinder talking to other women a the start of our relationship: Advice? - #2 by AnonymousMama
Second chances are a must, because nobody is perfect! It is when excuses are continually made for negative behavior that causes resentment and to ignore intuition. Intuition is everything. You say this makes you feel icky. Explore why, pray or meditate, journal and explore Self. Nobody can answer this, but you. There are always lessons and that is why it wonât just âgoâ awayâŚwhat is this trying to teach you? Best wishes always 
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Let it goâŚhe sounds like a good man.
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In the past and has not happened since. He owned up to it. He is great father figure and a wonderful man. You have to learn to forgive and move on. You are way to nit picky let go. You do not want to loose him.
You have to be the one to make that decision. Just remember we all sin and are not perfect. I think it takes strength of character to not defend himself. Also, how many times are you going to make him apologize. Either forgive him and keep building your relationship or move on. You already know what your answer is in your heart you just have to take the next step.
He sounds remorseful and honestly thatâs not how many other people react. Forgive him.
Oh my goodness sakes. Youâve got a good man who loves you and your kid. Girl he chose to be with you. Theres nothing for you to have to forgive him for. You should be asking him to forgive you. YesâŚfor making a mountain out of a mole hill.
If your that jealous of a person than your not totally in love with him. Read what the Bible says that love is. Jealousy is a miserable thing and if you keep feeding that inside you, youâll push him away.
Its women like you that ruin good men and make them cold and hard.
Just love him and let him love you.
Peace AlwaysâŚ
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Personal experience we said we were exclusive found out in the beginning he wasnât and I let it go. He was testing the water to make sure he could truly be committed to me and my daughters. Glad he realized that I was really the one he wanted to be with. We have been happily married for 18 years. We definitely talked about it and expressed what we were feeling. So maybe talk to him about it. Trust and communication is huge in a relationship.
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Quit bein petty and let it go. People make mistakes and if hes admitted to it, apologized and told you he is doing what he can to remedy the situation then forgive him. He didnât act on it so thereâs nothing to dwell on.
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Get over It. He only chatted and he admitted It AND It was probably at a time when he wasnât ready to be exclusive.
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Iâm sorry to put it this way but if you really saw the value in your relationship I donât think you would have to ask this question. You and this man barely know each other after only a year and a half and heâs already âdaddyâ to your child. I think you may be putting unrealistic expectations on a man you have been with for such a short time.
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You either have to forgive and forget or leave.
He seems like a pretty amazing guy to just throw away because he wasnât 100% at the beginning of something he knew nothing about yet.
Ive been married for 36 years and trust me no relationship is perfect. There will be bad and good years⌠Chalk this one up has a bad experience, and keep going. Youâll know in the long run that it was a good choice to stay.
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Whatever you decide, go all in. No one wants to have the same thing held over their head forever. Especially when it has supposedly been forgiven.
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My ex husband talked to girls all the time. My employees would say, âYour husband just told me if he wasnât married heâd come after meâ. Then Iâd get the, âwell babe I didnât THINK about itâ. START THINKING.
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My husband and I had the same issueâŚit hurt a lot at first but weâve talked it through and I dont think about it anymore. He wasnt sure if we were gonna last in the beginning and left some options open just didnât go beyond talking. When he felt we were for real he stopped. Weâve been together for 3 years and I found this out in the first. You do what you feel is right hun. But if you want things to work and have trouble getting past it definitely go to therapy maybe even couples therapy.
Correct me if Iâm wrong but I am getting a completely different understanding from what I read. You seem to understand that this is the way YOU feel. My advice is be open with him about how you feel and that it may take you some time to move past your feelings about it.
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Heâs not sorry or he wouldnât have done it. He wants to find and seek other women and thatâs obvious. You simply canât trust someone like that. Heâll just keep doing it and finding ways to be sneaky.
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Move forward, he apologized⌠but if itâs going to be a problem with trust, maybe your not ready for a relationship till your comfortable.
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It was in the beginning. He probably wasnât fully invested then. But he clearly is now. You have a right to be annoyed with him of course. But to judge him in your relationship now would be wrong. Things have changed. If it were to have happened nowâŚdifferent story. You have built a family and trust. Dont ruin that for stupid actions a long time ago. Judge him on the here and now.
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He should probably be with someone who is a little more secure with themselves.
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my opinion, if it was the beginning of the relationship, he might not have been too sure (still doesnât make it okay) and as long as itâs still not happening, iâd try to move past it. he stepped up to take care of a child who isnât his, and seems like youâve had a great relationship since. i would do my best to work through it. finding a man who will raise a child like their own is hard to come by i feel like.
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Your hard heaet is going to cause you hardship. Either get some emotional intelligence or let this guy go. He deserves a partner that will support him when he resolves (non-existent) conflict like an adult. Youâre being a child.
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Donât lose a good man simply because you wonât get out of your own mind. Work on the being an unforgiving person thing, it will make you a very angry person in general in life. The man laid himself bare⌠What more do you need?
So like⌠heâs not denying it, heâs apologizing about it and to happened a few months into the relationship where you have been together for almost 2 years but because of that you canât forgive him even though heâs a great partner and is raising your child as his own without hesitation? Girl that ainât worth losing, he was wrong, yes but as far as you know he hasnât done that shit since then so⌠and when you say exclusive maybe you felt exclusive before he did but yâall probably werent officially together in his eyes.
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Can you forgive and forget? If the answer is no, then this will ruin you. If you can and yâall are both committed to growth, then move on together.
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So from the sounds of it, this happened before you were officially in a relationship? If the relationship wasnât official, then he didnât really do anything wrong. Maybe Iâm not understanding correctly
Why? The relationship was brand new. He was still keeping options open while figuring it out with you. Let it go. Unless something else pops up Id just forget about it.
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Itâs not fair for you to hang onto him if youâre resentful. You need to let it go, or let him go.
So, how did you find out if he has no account anymore?
He hasnât denied it.
Told you they were just chatting, not meeting up.
You were âjustâ into seeing each other.
He hasnât done anything wrong impo.
Stop making him pay for something so trivial.
Men, always wanting to keep their options openâŚ
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Its in the past. He admitted it, its all deleted. why worry now?