My son and his girlfriend have been together for nearly two years, and they have a seven-month-old baby whom I adore. Ever since I found out she was expecting, I went and bought all the clothes all the toys diapers wipes diaper bag pack and play just everything you possibly need for a baby. She didn’t have to buy anything and still don’t for at least another year. I have always been extra sweet to her because I had no reason not to be. Recently she used my phone and logged on to messenger, but she left her messenger open, and I just happened to see where she was telling somebody that she hated me and she couldn’t stand me, and she wished that I would go on somewhere. Now I haven’t overstepped my bounds I just bought the things that she couldn’t, and I gave them to her. At first, I was really mad and hurt, and now I am completely confused on how you can hate somebody who’s done nothing but be good to you and your child and your previous child. I watch the children 5-6 sometimes seven days a week, even when she’s off work. She will not come to get them. Am I age? I need a break from time to time, but I never say anything because I’m scared she’ll just say well fine if you can’t keep them like I need you to I’ll find somebody else. It doesn’t matter who watches the children; she will leave them with just anybody. I don’t know if I should say something or not say something, but I definitely feel some type of way about this. I’m a very sad Nana, and I try to do good by everyone I just don’t know how to wrap my head around this that she hates me…
Shes just a bitch i guess. Not much you can do
Ungrateful lil *****
Who was she talking to when she said it ? Is she young and possibly really immature ?
Ask her and then quit doing for her since she hates you 
You should sit her down and speak to her (with your son there too).
She left her messenger open, so you were not snooping. You clearly do so much for her, so you deserve an answer. I highly doubt your son would let her keep your grandchild away from you, so ask her why she has a problem with you. Also, you should stop doing so much for her because she clearly doesn’t appreciate it.
Stop helping her out.
Let her fend for herself.
People don’t understand how well they have it, smh. I’m sorry she does this, you sound like a very loving Nana.
Maybe she took something you said the wrong way and just wrote that in the heat of the moment out of frustration. Ask her if you’ve done or said something to hurt her or upset her because you feel like she’s been different towards you. I would NOT tell her you saw the messages and invaded her privacy when you could have just logged her out of her messages since you saw they were hers.
Some people will not like / love u know matter what u do for them.
Maybe u can ask her if she wants u to be there for her. If she says no then find things that interest u and live your own life. Enjoy you money.
There was a time when I used to go above and beyond for people. Not anymore I enjoy myself and do charity. No strings no expectations.
Horrible sneaky sly bitch
Pull back. Stop spending money for her. Do the bare necessity for the kids. Dont let them suffer but make her aware of the situation
If it were me, I would just stop doing anything for her. Sounds as though she is an ungrateful, immature brat!
You need to talk to your son
She must be young and immature. Irresponsible enough to leave her messenger on your phone. She is an ungrateful brat. I wouldn’t help her anymore especially since she says she hates you. Just make sure she was talking about you before u confront her.
I feel lyk this story is too one sided, cuz how do we know this isn’t just her telling lyk she wants it to be. Nobody hates someone for no reason…that’s all I’m saying. Otherwise, I’m guessing she has other issues with herself that needs fixing ha.
Oh thats hard mamas, but I would try to ignore it. Keep doing what you do, be true to who you are and keep showing your love. If she is abusing, don’t stand for it, but in this life we won’t be liked or loved by everyone. It’s her deal, her issues. Try not to overstep her boundaries, ask if its ok to buy stuff - even though you might see it as inoffensive, it might actually hurt her. Try to be empathtic, but at the same time create your protection. Don’t let it eat you. <3 best of everything
Wow…this generation knows nothing…I would kill for my daughter’s father family to help …it’s been me and my family doing for her…I’m sorry but she’s ungrateful…I think it’s time she learn a lesson…I’d stop doing for her…she will soon come to realise who is truly in her corner…
I would ask her. Maybe just say she’s seemed upset towards you or different or something but don’t mention the message you saw. And just do the bare minimum for her without going above and beyond. My parents help me SO much with my son and I feel bad ever asking for anything more.
Maybe sit down with your son and just ask him if everything is ok and if theres anything you’ve done that might have made her say those things. Idk but I wish you the best of luck
I am not trying to be on her side but sometimes a person wont like another person, we are all different 🤷 it is a bit rude that you have done a lot for her and she should feel greatful but maybe she feels attacked that you are trying to be mother to her child and not giving her a chance. Talk to her and figure out why, only she is one who knows why she doesnt like you. Maybe you need to take step back and let her parent her child and then once all that help is gone then she may appreciate you more.
Shit be my MIL because mine think I am immature and thinks that my SO should take our son and move back home.
She sounds ungrateful and entitled. Speak to your son about it!!
That is so disrespectful to you!!! If you don’t like someone, don’t accept stuff from them! She is USING you!!
Gently tell your son what you saw and tell him you’re hurt and start from there.
What “you” think above and beyond is not the same to the rest of the world.
Confront her and ask why she hates you don’t let this go untouched especially if you’ve gone above and beyond what is expected of you.
Just go ur way n to hell with her
I go through the same thing. Nothing I do seems to be good enough. I could go on and on how this girl treated me.
Sometimes the more you do for people the less they appreciate it. You will always be the babies granny so I’d let her find someone else to babysit and you enjoy just been granny .May be she will then appreciate all you were doing for her .take care of yourself xx
Talk to your son first.
Bring it to her attention, and u have the right to say no every now and then u r human , and if she is so immature to take yr grannies away so be it she will need u again and come back .especially if u do so much for her ,because others will only allow themselves to be used for so long
You could either ignore what she said & take it as maybe shes ungrateful or you can have a sit with her & ask her why she feels that way make sure your son is there so she wont make up something up & make you the bad guy… hope things get betterx
I’m sorry. I’m sure that was painful. However something I’ve learned over and over…its none of our business what others think of us. What’s important is the grand kids. If your staying civil and taking them means they are somewhere safe and loved. The fact that she doesn’t like you and treats you this way speaks more of her character than yours. However you need to take care of you to and should not be overly giving and patient. Set boundaries and be sure to respect hers.
Damn you are nice. My parents don’t do anything for my kids. Adopt me lol
I hope u screen shot it
I think she sounds like an ungrateful little b****. I would definitely confront her and quit making her life easier. Since she doesn’t appreciate you let her feel what life would be like without your help. You should have taken a screenshot of the message so she couldn’t lie about it. I won’t ever be a doormat for another soul in this world and you shouldn’t either.
Aww! My mom is just like you. She goes above and beyond for her babies. My brother has always had GF/wives that had kids and even though they weren’t his, she always included them and let them know they were thought of, even if their mother didn’t like her. My mom explained to me, because I questioned how she can do for them when they don’t like her, that she doesn’t hold it against the kids how their mother feels. It’s not the kids fault of who their mothers or fathers are, it’s the fact that they’re children and are in need. With that being said, hold your head high! Good luck 
Yes, you over stepped your boundaries. Whether you like it or not, she didn’t ASK for your help. Her personality matters in this situation. You bought what you wanted. You watch, keep/raise children that you don’t want to. Your claim is because she may take them out of your life? So. Only accept what you’re willing to do. When it comes to SOMEONE else’s children, ALWAYS ask permission. It’s NOT up to you. You CAN’T buy love or acceptance, that’s free.ijs
I would have an honest conversation with her, sometimes we do things without realizing it.
Ooo so sad for u
Set her and your son down and tell them about this she is a very ungrateful woman or I should say girl very immature
Say something about it. And have your son present . Where’s her mother and family? Take your grandbaby and spend time when you want to. Make her be a parent and your son. Show them how appreciative they should be. She’ll get it when those diapers get low, and she got to spend her money.
Even though you are very kind, stop minding her kids so much and buying everything. She sounds like a spoiled brat. Then see what happens
Stop doing anything for her. If she can’t appreciate it. She seems to need to grow up. Maybe she was acting like she has some evil mil like so many others do to try and fit in? Idk but I wouldn’t do anything more for her after that. My parents have always helped me out especially after I left my kids dad and was a single mom doing it on my own. Without them, I couldn’t have done it without going crazy lol. My ex doesn’t speak with his mom so she sees our kids threw me, if it was up to him, he wouldn’t let her see them(he doesn’t let her see his daughter) and she helps me out with them if I need something and it’s before payday or something. So I’m very thankful for her. Some just can’t be grateful and take what they get for granted. She’ll regret it and possibly be grateful when you stop helping and she doesn’t have your free help anymore
Sounds like you’re bitter because she doesn’t like you. It was all fine and dandy until you saw a message but now all of a sudden you need a break. 
Stop doing everything now let them figure out its there child not yours although your the grand ma u know they only use us alot of the time …just try to not buy anything no more let them do it and she will realize how much u are a help even the baby sitting … maybe she feels you over stepped your boundaries and didnt let her enjoy her child by buying it stuff that she likes idk kids now and days are so different and difficult
Discuss this with her (with your son there) instead of “guessing” “assuming” what may or may not happen. It’ll bring peace to you and she should be mature enough to tell the truth and have a civil conversation. Good luck.
She doesn’t have to like you…
Are you doing everything to please her or for your grandchild’s benefit?
She does sound ungrateful …And its really weird that she was on your phone lol…BUT I am kind of wondering if you have been bad mouthing her with the attitude that “she’d let anyone watch them” and “she leaves them with you even when off work”…etc…Maybe something you’ve said has gotten back to her?
I mean, you can say something about it but shes definitely gonna ask why you were poking threw her messages.
What you think of as “going above and beyond for her” could be you being over baring to her and she could be annoyed that she doesnt get to -pick or buy- w.e for her kid cause you already went ahead yourself and did it. Stop buying things unless she or your son ask.
I feel like it’s common for daughter in law and mother in law to not get along. I would just remember that all you do is for your grandchild. Just continue to kill her with kindness! You never know, someday she may realize how lucky she is to have you. I have grandchildren but it’s my daughter so it’s different. But I feel like she and her husband will never fully appreciate all I do. But I donit for my babies!
Two sides to a story. You start out by saying I have no reason not to like her… Then by the end you’re saying she’ll leave the kids with anybody and everybody…
Did you ask if she wanted you to buy all those things and did you ask what she wanted? Or did you just make the assumptions and deprive her of her opportunity to spoil her own child with the things she wanted them to have? If you were trying to be generous, you would have bought a few things and consulted the mother on what her needs and desires were for her child. If not, you are coming across as controlling and demanding. I’ve been called ungrateful many a time because I spent countless hours hand selecting everything my children need according to the way we live our lives, and people buy things we dont need or use that I am forced to either let sit around the house cluttering everything up not to hurt feelings, or get rid of to keep my own sanity. It was a no win situation for me, and anxiety inducing because I never got to make my own choices for my children. Gift cards are a godsend.
You know how the "mother in law"is always an understood funny joke about a pain in the ass everyone understands? She was once the person you were dating mom. Most will tolerate you and be kind because they love him, and most will find you a pain in the ass. Accept it and try not to involve yourself where you’re not wanted.
I think it’s time you step back, so she can appreciate what you do and have done. Cause that’s messed up.
Some people are just ungrateful no matter how good someone can be towards them. Stop doing everything and let her realize how good she had it.
I would confront her and then stop doing everything for them. She needs to see just how grateful she should have been for the help.
Tell her you read her messages about how she hates you she left it available for you to see for a reason… does she work? if they’re not married she needs to be on medicaid and government assistance for ebt food money and child care assistance. Have her go to organizations that offer free clothes and diapers or whatever she needs and cant afford they might require her to work atleastx20 hours a week to get assistance through the state but as long as the child is over 6 weeks she can get child care assistance so she can work
You definitely over stepped by reading her messages… Once you saw it was logged in still you should have immediately logged out… Private convo, even if it’s about you, is private convo… Yes she should have been more careful and log out but I think you’re in the wrong for reading the messages… Perhaps when you went and bought so much stuff, she feels like you took over her pregnancy… Just because she didn’t have to go and buy anything doesn’t mean she didn’t want to… There’s some things I’ve wanted to do myself while pregnant as it is a special time for mums, and if someone took over and did it without asking if I was ok with that, i would feel a bit annoyed to be honest… If they’ve only been together 2 years and the baby is 7 months old, they weren’t even together for a whole year before falling pregnant… Maybe together 8 months? So in only 8 months she probably hadn’t got to form a close bond with you yet, and then had you come in guns blazing taking over the baby stuff… It can be over whelming… Yes what she said wasn’t nice, but venting to her friends is ok… And just because you think you’ve been nothing but nice doesn’t mean that’s how it’s being portrayed on her side… I would have a chat to her but be careful because no doubt she will be very upset and hurt that you read her messages… Also if other people watch the kids, that’s her choice and you don’t get a say in that… If you can’t have them just say so… You seem to be only doing it based on the assumption that if you say no she’ll just find someone else… So what? Other people are allowed to watch the kids too… I would probably back off a little because I can understand how some of this behaviour could come across as too much and borderline smothering… Let them do their thing with their kids…
Firstly were you feeling that way about having to watch the kids that much before you read that she hated you? And you are aware your son could come pick them up too so it’s not just her that’s leaving them with you. And also did you ask if she wanted the things you bought? I’m not trying to be harsh just asking. Because I would not like it if somebody just went out and got absolutely everything for my child to be honest, and that’s not being ungrateful it’s more that I’d want to be the one going to pick and buy things myself not somebody else especially not absolutely everything.
Well since you stooped and read her msgs that says what kind of person you are! You sound over bearing, just like my EX MIL and I couldnt stand her!
If there is anything i have learned its that our perception of certain events maybe differe. Perhaps, when tention is low have a heart to heart with her with the intention of mending the relationship. You may find things were not tsken the way tou thought they were oooor you just confirm that she is ungrateful and do the best you can for your grandchildren.
You have spoken about a few issues here. 1. She’s not entitled to like you. She may look at your love as controlling or you overstepping. Talk to your son about this. 2. If you don’t want to watch the grandchild as much, figure out what you are comfortable with it and discuss it with them.
You both are in the wrong talking bad about each other. If you feel your doing favors out of the kindness of your heart these things should not be brought up. The “well I did this and I did that for them” leads to nothing good. That she leaves her kids anywhere and I have them all the time n need a break sometimes is also throwing what you have done in her face. A favor is a favor and this is why I dont like accepting help from anyone sometimes no matter how innocent or on good terms we are. It’s honestly hard to say how or who started what because Im only reading one side but in all honesty I say stop doing things for her if your feeling unappreciated. This is just my opinion of course but I do wish you the best. I do know you mean well . Fighting and fussing amongst family is never a good thing. If she is just being ungrateful put a stop to it now.
You may not mean to overstep your bounds and you might think that you aren’t overstepping your bounds, but maybe to her you are. You should talk to your son and her and find out what’s going on. I know for me personally, I find it very smothering for my mother to you want to do things for me that I should be doing for myself. Maybe she harbors some resentment because she feels that you are showing that you are better than her by purchasing everything for them.
We all say things we dont mean, we all have bad days…forgive her and continue with what brings you joy, tending the children 
My heart hurt reading this… my sons paternal (including “dad”) wants nothing to do with my sweet boy, never wanted to buy much. I tried to make the best relationship but they hated me and I guess because they dont like me they dont like my son Sounds like you did everything an excited nana would do. I would have a talk with your son and find out if you did something wrong in their eyes. To me you didny overstep any boundary but maybe that’s because I wish my son had that kind of family.
I can say I have been in the position of the girlfriend. Me and my mil are now on really good terms after talking it out. I was a young mum, she was buying stuff for baby left right a centre. I knew it was because she cared and wanted to help. But I couldn’t shake the thought that why couldn’t I buy it or my partner. It just made me feel like she thought I couldn’t do it. Even though I knew she didn’t mean it in that way. I just ended up telling her that it was to much, that I wanted to feel like I was providing for my child and if I needed help I would ask for help. 6 years later we are on the best terms and she knows if I need help I ask her 
She’s definitely ungrateful. She could have been stressed and those were her feelings at the time.
However, sometimes a mother and grandparent being overly involved gets very annoying and smothering.
I honestly couldn’t stand two of my ex’s mothers. They were always polite, they just tried to control my and my bfs life a little too much and it eventually is what ended the relationship.
I’d back off. Do less for them. She will get space, learn to appreciate you more 
And while we are being honest… the story of her logging into messenger on your phone doesn’t sound very believable. But I do believe you found out from looking at messages.
I would talk to my son about it first.
Stop buying things for them back off a little and talk to your son about things. I buy things for my house so I have them things when I have the kids .
Maybe talk to ur son? She could just be a spoiled brat
She’s sounds like a biotch. I wouldn’t take it personally. Thank God your grands are with you more than her bc at least they have some sanity & someone who wants them. It doesn’t sound like she wants much to do with her kids. I wouldn’t communicate anything with her. I’d show you son, in person.
I would talk to my son oh, tell him what went on and asked him if he understood why she didn’t like me and if there was something I could do
The fact you’ve read his messages implies you have an issue with overstepping boundary. Is the ‘assistance’ you’ve been given unsolicited? One of the most stressful things when you’re learning to be a parent can be an overbearing mother in law.
Come be my kids nana! We will love you and appreciate everything you do!! Sounds like she’s just an ungrateful person, keep doing you, the kids will see it and love you for it! You don’t have to like her and vice versa.
I would bring it up to your son and just tell him what you saw and how your hurt by it. I would also not buy stuff for them unless it’s a holiday or birthday and let your son know that that is why. That if she can’t appreciate what you do then you won’t do it anymore
I would just be honest about what you read and talk to her about why she feels that way. Maybe she just needs you to help/communicate in a different way. Good luck
Wish my ex in-laws were like yourself. My son’s father’s family did absolutely nothing for my son or daughter and I mean nothing at all but did for their other grandchild who even got to go overseas. My kids were not even 2nd best which pissed me off and why I ended it after almost 3yrs of them not listening to a word I said or how me and the kids felt.
What u have done is amazing. She has a problem, not u. Do u have a good relationship with ur son? She’s jealous of that
Maybe she finds you overbearring. Back off a bit… and distance yourself… hopwfully shell come around.
My mil was way overbearring. Just saying
Do you tend to try and control them… is your son a mamas boy?
Wow, what an ungrateful hateful person. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I would definitely bring it up to her, in the less confrontational way possible (to avoid a fight)…however, if she has that kind of attitude then she might make a scene.
If she’s saying she wants you to go away then go away and let her deal with things herself. Go have your freedoms and spend your money on you. You raised your son and niw they have to raise theirs on their own. Yes gifting for your grandchild is good. Nothing wrong with that. But it’s time to back away from helping too much without being asked to and see where it goes from there.
My ex-MIL was horrible to me and it was hard to handle. Having a calm, civilized conversation with your son, his girlfriend and you without the children would be best. I would go about it in a way that is open. However, if you’ve enjoyed buying those things for your grand baby than I wouldn’t bring that up nor hold it over their heads. That isn’t fair to them. Gifts are gifts; not bargaining chips. Something like that could cause more problems in the long run.
Stop doing for her. She will eat her words.
She sounds very ungrateful. I am so lucky and proud that both of my childs grandmas, my mom and her fathers mom, have been nothing but loving. It sounds like shes very hateful. I honestly would confront her and say you saw her messages. And say how hurt you are.
Maybe she feels you are doing too much . continue to be nice but not too nice . dont go above and beyond . ya know ? I’m sorry you are going thru this .
Who IS the oldest here you or her ??? YOU MY FRIEND COME ON NOW TALK TO HER ABOUT IT OR TELL YOUR SON WHAT YOU FOUND OUT ABOUT HER . Plz it’s so easy if it was me I would put both of them in check . If there is no reason for the hate I would ask her what’s the problem ?
Omg, mommy she looked at me, mommy he’s got more cookies than me, mommy she’s being mean to me… can people not think for them selves?
All parties set down an talk .
Stop spending your money and time on this ungrateful person. Watch how quicly things turn around when she wants something. Talk to your son and see whats really up.
I would ask her about it honestly. Ask what you did wrong
I would talk to her.
From a lesson learned the hard way… when a parent (yes even a mother) doesn’t want to be with their child, don’t make them. 2. “It’s not your business what other people say about you.” That one took a long time for me to get, but now, it’s life changing. Let her say whatever and ‘kill her with kindness’. That baby clearly needs you!!
You have spoiled yours
You can come be my son’s grandma anytime , I would love to have someone like you in his life … She is completely ungrateful and doesn’t deserve you but just keep in mind you are doing it for your grandkids and they are benefiting from your kind and loving heart .
Back of compleatly, i think she will be sorry, then u can tell her.
She sounds like a spoiled brat. You can come love on my babies anytime. I wish I could have it so good. Some people don’t know how good they have it.
Talk to your son about the situation, and then talk to her and clear things up. It’s not uncommon for relationships to be strained between mother and daughter in laws. Are you guys around each other a lot? Sometimes when people are around each other too long they can get annoyed with one another. People can be like that even with their actual moms. Just talk and communicate and be honest. If she really does hate you, then no need to stress yourself out trying to please her. Hopefully your son can be an intermediary here and help everyone get this sorted out peacefully.
Just pray for her and back off.
Do you
Start loving yourself♡
Talk to your son about it and maybe he can help mediat and get to problem
Sounds like a spoiled brat to me,