I need advice on how to go about getting my ex/ child’s father out of my house. I gave him a place to stay over a month ago because he got evicted from his. First, it was just gonna be a week, then it turned into until the first of the month, and now were going on day 10 of the month, and he is still in my home and making no effort to leave. He won’t get a job, uses his background as an excuse for getting a job and an apartment. He’s on a fixed income from VA, but it’s not much a month. Idk, I feel horrible for kicking him out on the street, but all I’m doing is enabling him right now because he’s literally living off of me. I already have my kids I have to support on my own; I can’t support a grown man as well. Well, I brought it up today in a text saying we need to talk about a plan to get him out there on his own, and he just completely lost his chit on me. He stated that now that he’s broke, no luck with a job or an apartment that I want to kick him out? When clearly, I’ve given him six weeks to get it together while I’m working 65 hrs a week and pregnant to provide for my kids. I just don’t see the logic in his way of thinking. I need advice. Should I try and help him longer or cut him off and force him to make an effort to help himself? My feelings get to evolved, an I feel horrible for him being homeless
You are right, he needs to be kicked out so you are not enabling him.
If he’s making no effect or least got a plan and working on it… he has has to go…
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I gave my childs father a place to live but he isn't trying to better himself: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
You have to take him to court
You are a doormat only as long as you allow yourself to be.
He’s grown. Boot him.
Depending on your state and residency laws, you may have to take him to court and evict him 
You have to legally evict him. Check with the VA they usually have some programs out there that could help. Remember you cant help those that wont help themselves.
Doesn’t the VA have any programs he can take advantage of?
Tell him has has like a week left or whatever. Set a date and when that day comes no matter what he’s out. No excuses. And if he flips out tell him he has to go now. Don’t back down or he will know he can do what he wants and you won’t do anything about it.
Tell him to start packing. You can’t keep him there and supporting him. There are tons na of resources out there that he can use
Kick his ass to the curb! God helps those who help themself!
Cut him off…if he ain’t bringing nothing to the table let him go. He’s grown he will figure it out
call the police to evict him
Have you ever just opened the door and said time to go .period .no explanation needed
If he’s not on the lease have the cops remove him
Mmm, nope.
You are not responsible for his choices.
In my house, we are a team, we all have jobs to do, kids included.
Everyone must contribute to succeed.
Throw him and his stuff out . The end.
Is the father of the baby you are carrying still in the picture? What is his thoughts on this?
I guess it depends. How bad is his background that it’s hard to get a job. How long has he been unemployed. Being that you share a child, I personally wouldn’t want the father of my kid on the streets. I’d give him a month and during that month help him apply for jobs.
Find places for him to call for housing and jobs. And give them to him. Get him started in the right direction. He’s on VA for a reason. And you just wanna throw him out? Putting just a roof clearly isn’t enough to get him started. Some need a little more than that.
Wth, you have no responsibility over him, kick him out!!
He says now that he doesn’t have a job and blah blah you are kicking him out?? 
he should be responsible for his own actions, if he does not even help with the kids, what the hell is he doing there?? If he is not looking for a job is because he is comfortable with you taking care of him, kick him out, don’t be a doormat, YOU DONT OWE HIM ANYTHING, if he has a past and that’s the reason he can’t get a job well it was his choice to do what he did back then.
The guy is lazy he is a child he should be trying to improve on his own personal situation long as you everybody’s going to keep giving him handouts he’s going to take it and you’re not helping him you’re just giving him a handouts I’m with a majority of everybody else just give him the boot he’s got a kid to take care of and he should be should be out there busting his ass or going to be a job doing anything at all Jimbo
Cut him off. If he still won’t go make sure to legally evict him if he makes it a issue. Any verbal or physical issues then call the cops.
He’s living the life of course he doesn’t want to leave when you do everything and pay for everything. He needs to learn you won’t be there to pick up the pieces
With him flipping out id have a cop there while he gathers his shit and the cop can escort him off your property. Not worth the risk of him hurting you, the kids or your unborn baby.
Do not let him think he can walk all over you … otherwise it’ll never change
Cut him out. I’m sure there are homeless shelters around to help him. You already tried to help and he shown no progress. Plenty of jobs out there hiring right now
Get him out. Before he has squatters rights
I’d tell him he has 24 hours to make arrangements to find a place. He’s using you and will continue to do so as long as you let him. You’ve given him long enough. Get the police to escort him out if necessary
Have him go to VA or hospital or social services mon. Tell him he needs to leave or your calling police to have him taken out
Give him a time line.
You have 2 weeks to get a job…
Then check out places he can go…
They do have places for men…gather information…
I am in a very similar situation. I don’t want to leave my sons father with nothing but again…HE put himself in the situations he is in. Regardless of him being the father to your child, it should not be your responsibility to find him a job. You gave him a roof over his head. It isn’t up to you to get him information. If he wants to better himself then he very simply will. I kept all utilities on for a month and told him he had that month to start paying the utilities or they were going off. He has paid nothing. Not trying to better himself. If he gets money, he blows it on something stupid. His entire life he was enabled by his family. I refuse to sit by and do the same thing. Sometimes tough love is what it takes. Him going off on you? Yeah…NO! He should be kissing your ass and counting his blessings for what he even has and how you have helped him. He sounds like my ex. If he can be disrespectful and not show appreciation for what you have done already, I don’t see him showing you anytime soon. I would set a date and say you have until this date to get out. Stand firm in your choices! He may do the whole woooah is me rant but again. HE did this. You don’t owe him anything. Tell him to man the hell up. What kind of explain is he setting for his kid anyway. A pathetic one!
Do it soon honey, he’s going to always play the victim.
As hard as it is, you need to make him leave. You are right when you say it’s enabling and he will continue to turn it around on you until it drains you.
His problems are not your problems. Make him leave.
Start the eviction process’s ASAP. He can look around for a job and place while that process plays out!
Definitely assert your boundaries on this. The fact that he is getting upset about you wanting to discuss a plan tells me that he is perfectly okay with using you and will do anything he can to manipulate this situation in his own interest. Take the steps needed to get him out of your environment and have some peace in your home for the sake of you and your children. He clearly has options available to him that do not involve taking advantage of you so he needs to be forced to take responsibility and stop using you. Set a deadline and let him know that as of that date he will need to be out and make sure to follow through on it. If he doesn’t leave then take proper steps to have him removed. Best of luck to you, Honey. You deserve to be stress free, especially while pregnant!
Give him a date that he must be out by. If he doesn’t plan or make arrangements/changes by then, then it’s his own fault and you won’t have to feel guilty at all.
Kick him out before he has the lawful right to stay. Once someone lives with you for a certain amount of time, you can’t even get the police to make them leave unless they have committed a crime. It’s insane.
I dealt with someone who was always poor me with the victim mentality. I’d give him a date, say the 30th of the month you have to be out. He’s not your responsibility.
GET HIM OUT!! He is a grown ass man that needs to take care of himself!! You have enough taking care of your kids.
Cut him off
He’s a grown man. He’s not your responsibility
Is he the Father of the child you are carrying now? If he’s not then kicking him out is your right. If he is the Father then it’s your own fault
No hes got to go. Hes had almost 2 months, drop him at a shelter! Does he have a key? Change the locks when hes not there and put his stuff on the porch! The VA has programs to help if hes a veteran.
How tf is he getting mad at you for asking him when is he leaving!?! Give him 1 week or less to get out. If he’s not out, pack his shit and change the locks. Better hope he hasn’t changed his mailing address to your place because then it could become something you have to take him to court to evict his lazy ass. He will keep mooching off you as long as you let him. Time to pour some salt on this slug.
Research squatter’s rights in your state. That’s what he’s doing. Sadly & shockingly squatters have more rights than renters & homeowners do. You will most likely have to involve your landlord if you’re renting. I know a few this has happened to. They had to move out to get away from them. They were still on the hook for rent & utilities & suffered an eviction on their record.
Hes not your problem kick him out 
Give him a strict time line , the things he must do ( no excuses) and have him sign it . Then stick to it . If he refuses to sing it he must go point blank . It’s called help not free ride . In reality he should be paying support not taking from his kids mom lime this . Dont let him disrespect you one time or hes out . It’s your home he either respects it and you or he leaves straight up . Jobs are every where he should be at the employment department daily getting help with applying ect… he should also being doing stuff to help you around the house and yard and doing it willingly not being asked .
Tell him to gtfo you’re pregnant and hes stressing you out and its taking a toll on your health. Pack his shit and sit it outside and tell him hes an adult figure it out. That’s what i had to do with my ex. Same situation i was in… i felt bad but thats what had to be done 
You are allowing this…… stop allowing it.
Give him 48 hours to figure it OUT to get OUT and Stick to it… He is an adult and a man … He can figure it out… NO woman should be supporting a man that is not trying… period… !!! Its warm weather … now so he isn’t going to freeze.
He is not homeless he is a resident in your house
A pathetic useless piece of shit that needs to be flushed down the toilet. Hes using and taking advantage of you and your allowing it. Get the police involved and get a court order on him. Why put up with all the stress??..you deserve it if you dont.
Girl drop him off at the dog pound
He needs to go, he doesn’t need to be homeless. There is probably a shelter he can go to or a hotel
If you feel badly (which you shouldn’t) then maybe there are options through the VA? Maybe some kind of rentals or shelter of some kind if he is unable to work/provide for himself.
Kick him out tell him he has 48 hours to leave
Uh… kick his ass out. He’s not trying to better himself you said it yourself you’ve been beyond generous
My mom was in the same situation with my brother,my sister and myself had her take him to the local homeless shelter,best thing we ever did, he now is back with his family and working 40 hrs a week with s nice home,but my brother wanted to get help
You need to research the laws in your state. You may have to go to court and evict him which takes months to do.
Why are you having babies with this man?? You are compounding your problems. If you cant afford birth control go to your health dept for help. How do you manage when you need child care or maternity leave?. Please seek advice. Most of all send him back to his MOMMA or family. Asap. Seek counceling to get your thinking process straightened out. P.S. He’s NEVER going to be a father nor husband. Stop giving him chances, and unwanted children. I AM NOT TRYING TO BE MEAN BUT THIS ADVICE WILL HELP YOU.ITS WHAT I WOULD GIVE TO MY DAUGHTERS.
Cut him off! He will never be ready!
Personally, I would wait till he is out, pack his stuff, and change the locks.
But depending on your local laws you may have to serve him with a formal eviction notice and involve the police.
Regardless what you do, it needs to be done ASAP, as long as you support him he will never leave and always have an excuse!
“If you give a mouse a cookie”
I’m sure there are programs to help such as VA? Homeless shelters.?.
You need to ask yourself about his mental state. Is he depressed? Hopeless? Is there a way you can help him without sacrificing yourself?
Good luck getting him out if he really doesn’t want to leave…
He is not your responsibility. Yourself and your children are your responsibility. I’m not sure where you’re located but if he has mail coming to your house, he is legally a resident. I would suggest typing up a letter telling him that he has until a certain date, say June 30th, to vacate your home and mail it to him certified restricted, so he has to sign for it. If he isn’t making an effort now, he isn’t going to. You’re his free ride. And regardless of his background/record, there are plenty of places that will hire someone with convictions. Even felonies. And literally EVERYWHERE is hiring right now. He’s just making excuses. You have to do what’s best for you and your kids. All he’s going to do is drag you down.
I had to kick my child’s father out, for my own happiness and my children. He is grown. He also had other people to stay with. That is your children’s home. 
he will find other help…
Worst thing u coulda did. Do it before the 14th day. Some states, he can’t be kicked out after the 14th day. Tell him to go with u somewhere. Drop him off and leave.
Serve him with an eviction notice as if he was a renter, be careful different cities/ states have different laws and due to covid people have been able to stay somewhere Scott free as well.
You have to legally evict sorry. He’s been there longer than a month n once someone stays somewhere longer than a month they can claim legal residency.
30 days is usually all it takes for you to have to evict. I don’t know how old your kids are but, the one that is his, will see you kick his dad out on the street…You should have never agreed if you expected it to take a week for him to get money to move and find a job.
Do you rent or own? If you rent you can tell him the landlord found out he was there and threatened to evict you if he doesn’t leave. He’s an ex for a reason, he’s a grown man. Don’t ever feel bad for forcing someone to do what they need to do. You have enough on your plate, you don’t need a man child also. Good luck!
No luck with a job?..really?! Sounds like he doesn’t want a job. EVERYWHERE is hiring right now. Everywhere. Kick his ass out. He’s using you.
You should have never let him move in. I’m sure you knew the kind of person he was. You said he got evicted that says enough about him right there. Not only is he taking from you he is taking from the kids. Get rid of him!
Let me get this straight, you work 65 hours a week while pregnant and have children to take care of and your putting up with this kind of behavior? any weed would love to have a trellis like you
He needs a low income place
there a bridge down the road hit it
He is your child’s father NOT your child
Boot that MF
He can get help thru va
The VA has programs for Veterans that would be or are homeless; it’s VA HudVash or something like that. He just needs to get in touch with the VA 800 hotline or local any VA office and they can help him navigate the process.
I agree he needs to check with the VA. Unfortunately, he probably won’t, just so he can’t hang on to you longer. The VA will not speak to anyone about a Veteran under their care or receiving benefits, unless they have the Veteran’s written consent. He will likely tell you he called and they couldn’t help him and you will have no way of knowing 
Terrible situation, momma. I hope you two can plan a date for him to be out without going through the eviction process. While he’s a grown man and SHOULD handle his ‘ish on his own, he’s expecting you to do it for him. And if you have to evict him, he will always hold it against you and more than likely it’s going to effect your child and co-parenting. Good luck, hon!
If it comes down to it, go to the police department and ask for help with resources to get him anywhere, even if it’s boarding room style and just to have documentation. If you rent, blame your landlord and have your land lord “serve” you in writing you’re in violation of the lease and if no ambition manchild doesn’t leave the premises immediately you’ll have some sort of consequences
He’s trying to use guilt to manipulate you into changing what y’all agreed on.
Ibeen there opened my doors to my bd cause he was homeless etc and nope you got to put your feeling aside and you first he needs to leave just say it flat out to him je tries to make you feel guilty simply say youre right and move on…its hard it sucks but hes dragging you and your own needs and wants down w him and thats just selfish
No… He needs to go 
Tell him to rent a room somewhere… He is not your responsibility…
The VA has programs for veterans in this situation. I know, I’ve been there. He needs to get in contact with the VA and use the services available to him. He earned them and has the right to them.
Your pregnant with his kid or how do your baby baby daddy feel about it
Cut him off. Kick him out
He’s definitely using you. 
He has options he can take, he just don’t want to take them because why would he when you’re taking care of him? I wouldn’t want him to be homeless neither. I understand you not wanting that for him… but he himself knows there’s things he can do. I’m sure he’s got somewhere he could go and things he can do, he’s just telling you he doesn’t. You will see he does when you kick him out.
It’s not your fault he isn’t getting his own life together & it isn’t your responsibility to make sure he’s taken care of. Also, he has no right to be disrespectful towards you because he’s had plenty of time to get something going and already had his stay extended, plus it’s your home and your decision
He’s trying to play the guilt trip on you, why would he want to leave, your providing everything for him, he knows he has it made as long as he stays with you. Give him one week to make other arrangements and don’t feel guilty about doing it, your right you are enabling him, you need to support yourself and your kids, not a grown man who’s not even making a effort!
It’s been 30 days you have to LEGALLY evict him at this point
Cut him off. He’s not your child and not your responsibility. You tried to help and now he needs to help himself.
Get him out since he established residency in your place you’re going to have to go to court to legally evict him
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I gave my childs father a place to live but he isn't trying to better himself: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
There is no logic in his thinking. He’s looking for a mother to support & take care of him. You are not his mom. Dont feel bad, you’ve helped him enough.
I would tell him I don’t see you making any effort to get out of here. I have a family to provide for and I don’t need another kid to take care of
Y’all had an agreement when he stepped in and he needs to step out. He shouldn’t be living off of you and using a background as an excuse. Places are hiring mama don’t let him scam you. Tell him he’s got a week to bring some help to the table or he’s out.