If his name is not on the lease or mortgage then you can have the police remove him. But if your still legally married nothing they can do. He’s playing the victim and your enabling him. Plus probably confusing the children….do what’s best for YOU and your CHILDREN
Just kick him out. Tell him with the lil $ he getting rent a room at a hotel.
You aren’t his mother. He has to get up and adult up again. Do better for his kid.
I’d say start off by not giving him a choice. Tell him to get a job and you pick a specific date for him to move out. Don’t let him pick the date because he’ll keep changing it. When that day comes it’s nobody’s fault but his own. Coming from a person who also gets to emotionally involved. And there’s got to be another person he can go a feed off of other than you so really don’t feel to bad about it. He made his choice on his own.
Pregnant!!! Seriously?
he is trying to use your empathy to make you feel guilty for what he has done with his life. dont feel bad he is a grown man responsible for his own life. tell him he has to go and good luck. it sounds like you will have a fight on your hands. that will help you to not feel so sympathetic.
He’s not paying rent or in anyway helping financially. Call the police and have them escort him out. He can go to a shelter or a VA facility that can help him. The VA can help him better than you.
Kick him to the curb. You don’t need someone else to take care of.
Get him out now. In many states he may already be considered a legal resident of the home and you will have to give him a formal 30 notice to vacate. If he refuses it’s a civil matter (ie the police can’t make him leave) and you will have to go to court.
if he has VA income, depending on his rating, they will help him with housing. Tell him to call the local VA and get ahold of a social worker.
if you guys are married or he is on the lease, I don’t know what you can do to get rid of him. Otherwise look into what you have to do to legally evict him and never ever make that same mistake again. You know what he is. He’s your ex for a reason.
Give him a 30 day eviction notice.
If helping him isn’t actually helping then you need to stop. It’s turning into enabling.
As heartbreaking as it sounds like it will be for you. He needs to go. Not just for you and your kids, but for him too.
Get him TF out of your place and NEVER look back!!
I’m not surprised he lost his shit on you. Sounds like he knows EXACTLY what he’s doing and he’s taking advantage of the fact that you don’t want to throw him out. Making a plan is a reasonable offer and he’s the one being unreasonable. You’re right about enabling him.
I’d suggest following through. Give him a decent amount of time to find a job and if he doesn’t make an effort then he’s sol and it will be HIS fault NOT yours. Write down what you agree to. Or write out a “lease” and get him to sign it.
Then get him to start paying rent. Which if you want u can save some of like you do for your adult children and help him with first months rent. Lol make sure he stays out.
You should also never make his food or do his laundry or cleaning. He’s not working he should be cleaning and cooking and not be getting himself comfortable.
He’s trying to manipulate you he gives you all these excuses oh now you wanna throw me out if he gave a damn at all he would’ve shown to you he would walk to work for his family there are so many jobs it’s ridiculous pack his clothes call the landlord and tell them Do not enable himhe will not leave I hope he is not on your lease if he is you’ll have to get a 30 day infection maybe
My ex used to do this to me. Ur sanity is more important. Stop enabeling him
He needs to contact the VA there is benefits and housing they offer. Call get assigned a case worker and let them assist. Tell him by July 15 OUT, call VA on Monday get the ball rolling.
Yes you definitely need to ask him to leave.
Kick the deadbeat out. Not your problem.
He’s manipulating you , give him a date to be out then , say two weeks then , pack his bags . And sounds like he had an income
Don’t let him start getting mail there. The police will tell you he has established residence. We went through this with a relative when my mother in law passed.
The police cant make him leave because you let him live there…serve him with eviction papers
Kick the dude out, he isnt making any effort, get his stuff thrown out onto the street and let him know where to pick it up, warn him if eh tries to cause problems you WILL call the police, because you gave him plenty of time and hes not leaving or even attempting
He’s playing with your heart strings, letting him back in was not a good idea, now he will get your children on his side and make you feel worse about yourself. Either kick him out or reside to the fact he will be a long standing non paying guest in your home that you are responsible for
You have to go to the court house and file a 30 day eviction notice. The police won’t even go to just take him out. And if gets mail there he pretty much is a resident there. Good luck!
Ur prego everything is going 2 make u feel 3x worse than u need to. U know what u need 2 do. If he’s on a fixed income that means he can afford a place just needs 2 be within that income. There’s no excuse 4 him not being able 2 get a job past or not plenty of places hire convicts or whatever the case maybe. Even if he’s flippin burgers it’s a start. Go 2 the police and say u have a squatter in the house. No rental agreement means the court really isn’t going 2 do anything. But police will escort him off the property
Take care of you and yours fuck him wastes of space
Sorry out he goes … not ur responsibility … he’s a grown man
Do a little research on local services for the homeless and provide him with the information. Salvation army is a good resource. You have given him 6 weeks. Tell him it is time to leave and give him directions to a local shelter. He is taking advantage of you and you are teaching your children how to be a doormat.
He’s basically taking from your children and being a parasite, I’d drive him to a shelter and roll away.
Fuck him! He made his bed.
He will continue letting you do all this as long as you let him
Hes just gonna carry on living off you as long as you let him kick him out he wont have a choice then
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You need to go to the magistrate and have him served with a Notice To Quit. That gives him 5 days to get out. Yes! Send him on his way!!
The VA can help him get housing most va’s have housing that they can use and will help them get jobs and stuff they tell him all of this and he already knows he has it available to him and he can get housing help as well from the VA
You feel bad about him being homeless right? Doesn’t sound like he is worried about it. If he isn’t helping you then he needs to go because he will drain you and leave you standing on the curb when you lose your home and or job. Your marriage ended for a reason!
Lord get him out now before he can claim “squatting rights” or some shit. If he starts getting mail there in his name it’s going to get more difficult.
There are programs that he can do that will help him with housing rent based on his income & other programs to help find work through the VA all he has to do is probably paper work. Kick him out so he has to do it.
If you don’t get him out NOW, he’ll take advantage & keep riding for free until you literally force him out
Too bad. He needs some tough love. He needs to get out. Girl be strong. He needs to do for himself. Oh well.
Tell him hes squatting and your giving him a legal notice of 30days and if you have to you’ll gonto the court house and get a legal eviction notice.
Send him to his family and if no one takes him then him shit out of luck. VA is his answer
He needs help but probably not the kind you can give him. Do what you have to do put your children first but see if you can help him find the help he needs. I only say that bc he is your child’s father and in helping him you are essentially helping your child see compassion. I’m not suggesting you coddle him in not doing for himself he’s a grown man and if he’s capable of doing better he should. Sometimes people get bogged down mentally in life and need help and most self destruct bc it’s not easy to admit you need help and it’s scary to be vulnerable.
Him being homeless or not isn’t your responsibility or fault.
Eviction is about the only way to get rid of him.
Cut him off…The VA has a housing program for homeless vets… Don’t forget he got evicted and is putting a burden on you and your children…he should be grateful that you even helped him and be trying to help himself…if you’re renting you could always say the landlord said he needs to go since he isn’t on the lease…there are literally jobs everywhere
He needs to call va and tell them he needs to talk to the social
If he’s claiming squatters rights and it’s been 30 days already. If he gets mail it’s his house too…I’d hate to be in your shoes,but you feel bad,huh??
Make your mind up
Good luck
If address changed for him gonna have to evict him
Tell him to HIT THE ROAD, JACK, NOW!’
Girl get that man out your house
Say bye! He’s not your problem
Kick his using butt out now! Tell him you agreed to one week and he’s 5 past that. Tell him to “Get your things and leave.” You are just allowing him to continue to be a user!
Don’t know where you from but I can tell you if you from Delaware you can’t get him out
Pack him up n get him out immediately!!
Sorry but you need to put him out now
Sounds like a Rodney n Yvette situation (Baby Boy)
Him being homeless, no money, being broke. That’s not a you problem. That’s a him problem. U need to tell him to get out. There are shelters he can go to, in the meantime. Some of them help the ppl in there, get jobs, find housing. Did he think he was gonna live w you forever?
Pandemics over! Something on background or not, everywhere is hiring… Sometimes people have to start over, seems like he doesn’t want to. Get him out and just take care of yourself and your kids. Good luck!
If he doesnt have a record he can get into public housing on his limited income. They will bump him to the top if hes homeless
Stop having babies with men like this. Why on God’s earth would you be pregnant again if you’re working 65 hours a week to support the kids you have? When do you even see your kids to be a mother?
Kick him out hes an adult.
I’d say u have 2 days and then I’m callous g the cops of you’re not out
1st. Stop having kids with people you don’t want to be involved with for the next 20 years. Start here.
Good luck! Praying for you.
Kick his ass out…now!
Boot that a-hole to the curb right now.
Kick his ass to the curb
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I gave my childs father a place to live but he isn't trying to better himself: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
Give him a list of homeless shelters in your area and tell him you can no longer provide for him your lease states that guests are only allowed to stay up to 30 days. The landlord says you gotta go. Say your pregnant work your ass off and a homeless shelter will make you do the same as well. If he wants free low income VA fixed income housing he needs to get a list and wait it out in a shelter not off of your back. Just flat out tell him that. If it gets ugly tell him you will get a restraining order to get him out of the house.
Here’s the thing everywhere is hiring right now and I mean everywhere. It seems to me he’s making excuses and is more then comfortable with you taking care of him. Even with a bad back round I mean aside from theft or murder places are taking anyone they can find because they are so short staffed it’s insane. The thing is someone like that wants to be taken care of and not have to worry about anything. I feel the best you can do for you and himself is get him out. He’s either going to realize he needs to do and be better or he’s going to continue to make others feel bad for him so he can be taken care of.
Girl if he isn’t helping you make it uncomfortable for him. Make him leave the house when you leave the house. Tell him to get out there and find a job that he’s got 1 more month. I’d give him at least that. If does absolutely nothing boot him
Bring a new man in and bet he will leave. Talk to a male friend and pretend u have someone new and bring the new man in
You would have to look up the local laws if he’s getting rent if he’s getting mail there then you’re going to have to evict them legally
Your not his mother, not his career.
Kick him out and let him stand on his own two feet… by the sounds of him he is taking advantage and using your kindness for weakness…
how will he learn to do things by himself if he has enablers around letting him get away with being lazy.
If you don’t make a move now to get him out, he will stay as long as he could and get comfortable with just using you…
girl you got this, take a stand,
Your doing life for you and your kids not a grown ass lazy man.
Good luck.
Tell him he’s got 24 hours to move out, if he doesn’t do it, call the police
In most states, after three days, he lives there. Do NOT let him give your address as his address.Talk to your local police and find out what the laws are in your area. You may have to go to court and file eviction papers so the law will put him out. And as soon as he is gone, change the locks on all of your doors. Or at least have the tumblers changed on the locks. Even if you only let him use a key once, because he may have had a key made. Also, once he is out of the house, may sure all of your windows are locked. Just in case he unlocked some windows in order to get in when you are not home. Do not wait. Go Monday.
Help him out the door…he will have to do something then…love him let him go.all the best.
Sometimes reality is the kick in the ass you need
Hes not doing anything for ur kids so he needs to go. If he was helping w that then maybe but nothing and not trying u feel bad y?
Wow how old are u, throw his ass out
Try and kick him out but you need to read bout squatters rights might be a sticky situation
Kick his ass to the curb! Yeah you’re emotionally involved, and it sucks to throw someone out when they’re down but if they show no effort in getting up on their feet and then guilt trip you about their situation that is toxic asf. I say if you can’t handle your shit than lay in it!
Kick his ass out NOW!!!
How about you tell him he had X number of days to find a place, period. If he’s there more than 30 days or he begins to get mail, you won’t be able to make him leave. Why turn this into a legal issue if you don’t have too.
You’ll be unhappy when he’s not around. Just let him be while you try and support him as much as you can…as long as he isn’t a troublemaker. Probably a bad phase…I believe.
Anyways…you’ve got to weigh the pros and cons to make the right decision
Lack of planning on his part does not constitute an emergency on your part. He needs to grow up n be an adult, responsible for his own issues. He has a deadline. Stick to it, and after the deadline it’s time for him to go, whether he has solved his issues or not. This is NOT your problem.
Have him removed done
Give him a set day in writing have it delivered to him by certified mail so there is a record of him receiving the notice. That way u can have a legal way of going about it
Can’t give u good advice , bc the men in my family have been super hard works and Suport their families . U can’t help someone if they aren’t willing to help themselves, you did your part so don’t feel guilty about not helping him anymore. Help him by making him help himself .
so I like to make solutions. Tell him McDonald’s hiring. Make him do a application take him to interview and force his ass to work. When he starts making money hold his money till he gets enough for a deposit for a apartment help him get on his feet. Hopefully 3 months. I would force his ass to get a job. Hell even chicken factory’s everyone is hiring
Even a sign on bonus. MAKE HIM DO IT. SIT RIGHT BESIDE HIM PULL OUT A LAPTOP AND DO APPLICATIONS. HE NEEDS A KICK IN THE ASS TO GET HIM BACK RIGHT
He’s not your responsibility. You don’t need a man child, its easier single trust me
I’m in the same situation and it sucks.
Hey ypu have to kick him now. The new relationship will die fast otherwise. You definitely never should of allowed it. Now you can figure out the problem on you not him. I wish you luck been in this situation before I had to pack and leave
Seriously, as long as he has you for a crutch why should he leave. Kick him out now. He is a grown child that needs firm action. Kick his butt out.
Pack his belongings put them outside . Change your locks .
First off, do not let a grown man who is able to do for himself make you feel guilty. I just took my ex off the lease on friday because he thinks his discipline is okay for my kids. He wants to come “back home”. Look, if your ex isn’t on the lease at your apartment or house and you try to get him to leave and he refuses, call the cops. Get a reference number for court and move on. We shouldn’t have to tell you that he is using you and blah blah blah. Your hormones are crazy (mine are too as im currently pregnant) and you felt obligated (which you absolutely DONT). so text everything between yall, no calls, so then you have proof that you have provided hospitality for your ex and that he was given plenty of time to get himself together.
Do it now before he has the damn “renters rights” bullsheit. You are completely and totally right. You are only hindering him. He knows exactly what he’s doing btw. Until he finds someone else to use he will continue using YOU. Stop it Now!
He is a grown man and he does have at least some sort of income so he needs to find his own way and that means he does it in a shelter then so be it. You’re going to have to have him legally served at this point and that will take time so don’t wait any longer to get it started and stop providing him with anything other than the roof he is already taking advantage of.