A little background. My husband and I live with my inlaws. My BIL and his girlfriend also live here with their three kids (6,10 and 11). Were staying here temporarily while we wait for our house in another state to be ready. A few months ago, my husband and I gave our 11-year-old niece a cellphone (we got a free phone/line on our plan). We made a deal that she could have this phone if she picked up dog poop once a week. It’s a simple 5-minute job if that. She and her mom agreed. Well, months went by, and she did it once. She didn’t even put the poop in the bucket so we could toss it. She just threw it out of the grass onto the dirt a foot away. Well, last week (after multiple people telling her she needs to pick up the poop and still didn’t), we told her we were going to take the phone. She dead ass told us that if we took it, her mom would just buy her another one. That pissed me off. We gave her a week to pick up the poop. She still didn’t so now, where shutting the phone off on Monday. Now, everyone’s all upset. Like we didn’t tell her a million times and gave her a million breaks to do it. My MIL feels like because it was free on our part, we should just give it to her, but what does that teach her? I’m so sick and tired of the adults in this house not disciplining their kids. My kids are only 2 and 1. These kids are older and know better. When they act up and throw tantrums, everyone just makes excuses. They’re tired; they just don’t understand, etc. My kids are babies. These kids are not babies. I even had to pull my one-year-old put of the baby gate because the ten years shoved her into it! I’m so sick and tired of no one being firm with the kids, but I can’t say anything because they’re not my kids. How should I handle this situation? Any suggestions? Thank you.
Next time u get a CHILD a phone dont wait MONTHS to try and discipline them
Shut it off. Let her mom provide it.
It’s your phone and your plan. You have every right to take it. I would do the same
TURN THAT PHONE OFF! If she wants it on, she works for it. 
let mom get her another one 
Deal’s a deal. Kids need to learn about consequences. I think of it this way-I’m not necessarily raising just a child, but a future adult that isn’t a jerk.
Take that phone away. She broke a contract, end of discussion.
Take it away! If her mom is going to buy her a new one then that’s on her mom. But she needs to learn that not everyone in life is going to let her get away with whatever she wants. Someday she’s going to get a job and her boss isn’t going to let her do nothing. You’re teaching her a good lesson
She is old enough to hold up her end, if she agreed and someone other than you knows she agreed to the deal. And she doesn’t hold up her end, take the phone away until she holds up her end. Not just for a day but maybe for a week. She sounds like she thinks she can get away with everything. If the parents don’t teach discipline, teach it or at least talk to the parents about her comment about how her mom will just buy one.
First she is 11 she doesnt need a phone. 2 if she doesnt did her chores then she doesnt deserve privellages. Take the phone. My kids are 3 7 10 14 and 15 and they know they have daily chores to do and if they dont do them they dont get their electronics for the day. They need to learn respect and responsibility
Maybe talk to her mom maybe you can something up so you take to phone until she does her job and the give back to her every week same day same time
Tbh at the end of the day yous gave her the phone and it’s up to her parents to follow through with the punishments if she is doing what she is suppose to be doing , I can understand where u r coming from as I too would have been pissed but not really much u can do about it now as long as u don’t have to pay a bill for it then I don’t see what u can do about it
Shut the phone off she ain’t doing her part to get to keep it
Follow through. Tell the other adults that they’re more than welcome to give her a phone, but you and she had a deal and you’ll be following through with your side of things.
The faster you get your house built, the better! It’s not healthy for families to live together. Rarely goes well. Good luck to you!
You’re doing the right thing.apparently the rest of your family wants her to be an entitled spoiled brat, don’t participate in that. The real world doesn’t work like that so you are doing her a favor by sticking to what you said, the rest are doing her a disservice. If you have a job that you get paid for and you don’t show up/don’t get do the job do you still get paid? No you do not. So why should she still get the phone of she’s not doing what she promised on return. She also doesn’t appreciate it. Take it away, don’t feel bad.
Take it back. She needs to learn that actions have consequences. Ya you gave it to her but it had a condition that she do ONE thing and if she can’t keep her end of the bargain it goes back to you. 11 is early enough to learn how the world works.
Take the phone. And don’t give it back. Her mother can buy her one just like she said
Maybe give her another job. I wouldn’t want to keep picking dog shit up 
Take the phone. You’re right. Be the adult she needs!!
Shut it off you tried do something nice. Guess she will learn to do what she says next time. Thats some bs your fam is out of line.
Well, to start, you let it slide for a long time without repercussions. You set a bad standard of expectation. However, just telling her to do it isn’t good enough either. You have to show her the skills required. Show her what is expected of her. And help her accomplish it. Taking it away is totally within your realm of responsibility and rite, but also, the only lesson its going to teach her is “if you don’t do what I tell you, eventually you’re going to not have something cool.”
Kids dont need toys they need affection. If you teach her the responsibility, her reward will be the family taking pride in her. And then she has earned the phone.
You dont get paid at work for a job you haven’t done yet, do you?
Pull the phone and take the heat. People need to keep promises; Good and bad. Your promise is no less important to keep than is hers.
Worry about your own kids because the others aren’t yours🤷♀️ You guys are living with others, you can’t come into someone else’s space and tell them what to do unless it’s really your place too and you stating your just waiting for your home to be ready says it’s not so… Sometimes I get annoyed with shit other ppl do with their kids too(or dont do usually is more like it) but I have to remind myself that I have my own 2 kids to worry about and that’s not my place. A lot of us would be a lot happier if we’d worry about our own backyards more and stop stressing about others💯
Follow through. If no one else in her life holds her responsible, and follows through on promises, you did. So when she ends up on the pole because no one will buy her a (fill in the blank) and she thinks she’s special enough to meet a man and he will buy her everything, you can say, well I sure did my part to let her know that things aren’t just handed out. And laugh at them while your kids go to college and lead normal lives and they wonder who screwed her up (because it’s not like they will assume it was them.) lol
Take the phone away. You had an agreement with her & her mother. She definitely needs to learn repercussions.
Shut it off, if her mom buys her a new one that’s her moms prerogative.
When my 12 yr old doesn’t do what needs done (that shes been told 10xs or more) she’ll get her phone taken away for rest of day/night. Her phone isnt activated tho only used by Wi-Fi tho. If it was my child not listen she wouldn’t have it at all. She does right she gets reward. She does wrong consequences will take place as necessary
take the phone… however I don’t think picking up dog crap was the right bargain for it… to get a dog maybe but not a cell phone maybe other house hold chores…haha. but since they agreed then yea take the phone back since she didn’t keep up her end of the deal.
I would take her phone
So you and your husband and your kids are living with his mommy but you’re upset because someone else’s 11 year old isn’t taking care of HER responsibilities that you randomly assigned her? Got it.
at 11 she doesnt need a phone ur opening her up for predators and to be a brat but since u did give her the phone and didnt hold up her end take the phone let them be pissed u shouldnt care
Someone has to teach her that actions cause consequences. It’s better for her to learn it now than when it could get into trouble
You’re in the right and they have no right to be upset. They should be the ones teaching her the lesson. Shut off the phone.
My advice. Too many people living under the same household. Too many opinions. Get out ASAP.
Your phone plan .your choice! the deal wasnt upheld so… consequences! No one likes it oh well they weren’t paying for it. Her mom can get her a phone like she so pissfully told you. I wouldn’t do deals with her again she isnt mature enough so she shouldn’t have a phone. Only reason everyone is mad is because they will spend money on it and expected you and your husband to. I wouldn’t care if everyone was butt hurt she didn’t keep her end of the bargain.
I would take the phone
It’s a responsibly issue, she won’t learn anything unless she’s without the phone. Take it away!
Take the phone away asap. Let everyone be upset.
I’m sorry but giving an 11 year old a job like picking up dog poo is pretty gross. I have a dog and I don’t particularly like doing it but I wouldn’t then put it on my kids to do. Whoever the dog belongs to should be doing that job rather than you all moaning she isn’t doing it. As for the phone it’s free so your not loosing out but maybe ask her to do other chores to make up for not picking up crap.
You ALL had an agreement and she broke the rules plain and simple. Take the phone and shut it off. She didn’t follow through. If her Parents want to get her another then let that be on them to reward her for breaking the rules.
Take the phone for sure. You’re exactly right in that.
Take the phone away.
Since my niece has been three iv always been consistent. Where a reward or punishment. If I say I’ll do something I do it.
She’s 13 now.
You take the phone from the ungrateful kid and if her parents buy her another who cares…let THEM deal with the nightmare they are creating. You had a deal with her, she is old enough to understand that, she didn’t follow through on her end, take the phone.
Shut that phone off tell her parents to get her one… not your kid not ur responsibility… donr worry about the adults do you and what u feels right… if she needs one they can get it
Take the phone away.
Take the phone or turn it off.
Dont just shut it off take it from her so that way she cannot get on it with wifi.
Cell phones are a privilege not a right…take it and let her mom get her one and pay for it and then deal with the entitled brat! Everyone will be mad but they’ll get over it. She isn’t ur child , lesson learned no good deed goes unpunished!
Take it and let her mom buy her one and never give and make deals with her again.
Shut it off. As far as not disciplining them, bullshit. Those kids messing with my kids, I’m disciplining somebody. If it ain’t the kid, it will be the parents.
Stick to the agreement. Earn respect.
No offense but who would make a child pick up dog poo as a chore? We have cats and I don’t even allow my 9 year old to do the litter box!!! You’re an adult. You can pick up dog crap and give her another chore. That is gross! What kind of aunt are you? Just take the phone already. I don’t get this at all!
Yea after my baby got pushed I wouldve told everyone there to eat shit and I wouldve spanked the fuck out of the 10 year old who pushed my baby, needless to say my advice would get you kicked out I’m sorry
Simple take it back… my question to u is why the bloody hell does a 11yr old need a phone?? Are your not aware of the trouble.or Danger tht she could get into or wat could happen if she walks to the wrong ppl like seriously isn’t there enough kids in the world going missing coz of this shit … I think u lot need a reality check… No way should a 11 yr old hav a phone let alone on a plan
Take it away end of story
The moment she said “my mom will just buy me one” I would’ve taken the phone … let your momma buy you one. My 9yr old has a phone &does all of his responsibilities to keep it.
If u could see if you could rent a place. Tell your house is ready. If so, do so
Im with u turn it off she doesnt deserve it and will never learn!
Simple take the phone back cause those things are super expensive and never do that again for anyone never ever cause it is not appreciated
My advice is to move as quickly as possible ,the house sounds terribly overcrowded and unsafe for your little ones.yes she didn’t do what was agreed ,and yes I would turn it off.
turn it off; they may allow her to get away with things but you don’t have to. let them get her one if they feel the need that is what is wrong with kids today no responsibility and no one wants to make them do anything to help around the house to get what they want which results in burn out for some of the adults who have to live with the. A deal is a deal.
This is Google Family link I have it on my 10 year olds phone for this reason cause ya know kids will be kids
If her mom will just “get her another” let them deal with it… that’s hella annoying turn that ish off
Take the phone. Stick to your word. Let the parents deal with her.
The phone free or not is in YOUR NAME…no discussions needed if she dont hold up her end of the bargain PULL IT AWAY. If her mom wants to enable her feeling entitled thats her moms F*ck up not yours. AND FOR ALL THE HATERS GIVING GIRL SHIT FOR LIVING WITH FAMILY…SHE HAS A HOUSE BEING BUILT…HER PRIORITIES ARE IN PLACE SO BTFU AND GIVE GIRL A BREAK. THOSE OF YOU GIVING HER ARE THE PROBLEM WITH SOCIETY TODAY. The problem with youth today is we took away the fear of ACT RIGHT or get your ass whooped. And Im not saying abuse the kids Im saying spank an ass now and again. This generation is entitled spoiled and LAZY…And we all are guilty of allowing it to continue. You took the fear of God and consequence out of EVERYTHING… SMH
Take the phone, turn it off… Then tell her have her mother get her a phone since the terms of the agreement were void.
Turn it off…simple…
Take it away end of story. This right here is the problem woth kids these days! They get away with everything! If the parents want to have awful bratty, entitled children thats on them. You shouldn’t have to enable them
And i feel you i had my sister staying here AND same thing anytime a tantrum was thrown, curse words were shouted, and anytime he hit or kicked my children there were excuses! I was finally done and yold her she couldnt stay here anymore. Now im the bad guy because she has no were to stay.
I wouldn’t care if it was my kid or not, tell the parents if they aren’t gonna discipline their children, especially when it comes to bodily harm of a younger child, that you will. Give them three chances then deal with it as how you see fit and if they say something tell them you gave them three chances to discipline their child for harming someone and they didn’t step up and handle business so you did. And yes I get its complicated because multiple families are under one roof. I’d let the smaller stuff slide, but not causing bodily harm. That’s where I draw the line. Especially with the size difference between a preteen and a toddler.
Take it away if her mom buys her another one thats on them not you!
Turn it off and move
Take the phone back! She needs to work for it! Just like in real life!
Turn it off its your line your money. Yes you may have gotten the phone for free but I’d imagine you’re still paying the line fee. And if the mother agreed to these terms as well. Go talk to the mother and let her know. And shut off the phone
Turn it off. Agree with you 10000%
I would also shut the phone off. Doesn’t matter if it’s a free line or not. She didn’t keep up her end of the deal. Sounds like her parents need some consequences themselves for not stepping up and handing their children’s unruly behavior.
My 15 yr old doesn’t have a cell phone. Only reason i see a kid needing one is sports,they walk home from school, or visit their other parent if separated.
Take the phone. Tell the parents if they don’t discipline their child. Next time you’re going to call the police. And do it if they don’t discipline her
Move out with no regrets
Turn it off and let it be that deal is deal
Haha my momma woulda whooped my ass.
Shut it off. She seems ungrateful for it anyway.
Take the phone , regardless if it’s free or not , she agreed to a SIMPLE chore for it. Oh well if everyone is mad. And if her mom just lets her get another one , that’s on her🤷🏼♀️
Give it to the 10 year old and then give them the job to clean up the poop and if they don’t do it either then take it back all together 
.
Take it away. You can’t do much not being the parent but you can do that much since it’s through you guys.
At 11 she should do some chores at home without being bribed. Take the phone away.
It should have been taken away the first time she didn’t do what was agreed.
It’s y’all’s free phone and it’s under y’all’s name so yes I’d cut it off and take it away from her. Y’all were under an agreement which her mother also agreed to and tell her she broke the agreement. And if her mom wants to get her another phone then fine but that one isn’t here anymore.
Yep. Definitely take the phone away from her. She’s acting like an entitled little brat and isn’t doing what she promised to do as part of the agreement to have the phone. If you allow her to keep it you are only enabling the bad before. There are consequences to actions and she needs to learn that.
Honestly I would take the phone and be done . But I would never try to parent or do something like that with someone else’s child so it’s a lesson learned .
Take it it’s yours you did it to be nice. Someone’s got to show the kids a good example that life isn’t just going to be handed to them on a silver plater cause when they hit the real world they re going to be screwed
Take that phone out of her screaming, bawling hand. If you don’t have to return it and get it off your plan, smash it in front of her and tell all the dimwit adults, “There. She still has her phone.” They will deserve what she grows up to be."
Take the phone, let her mom pay for a new one 🤷
Ur phone ur rules! Let her parent just buy their kids one if that is how she feels! Kids parents should be supportive of the rules set out and understand…if not, tough!
Tell all of the adults that she didn’t keep up her end of the deal and that’s that. Shut the phone off and take it. Let her be a little snarky bitch. Just don’t put up with it.
Turn it off. Not your problem what they think. You gave it to her under an agreement and she hasn’t stuck to the agreement. Actions have consequences. Take the phone away from her. Tell her once she has picked up the poop for 4 weeks in a row then she can have it back. She now needs to earn it! And be sure to make it very clear that if she fails to keep up with the agreement then it will be removed again! And she WON’T get it back! 
Talk to the adults in the family about taking it away
Your first mistake was giving someone a gift expecting something in return. Taking it away is a pretty rotton thing to do being she is not your child to discipline. If anything talk to her mom and let her handle it. No one told you guys to get her a phone. Her mom can take the phone away if she wants. You said it was free, so? If it bothers you that much go ahead and disconnect it. Deal with everyones reaction and move on. If you think you’re doing the right thing it shouldn’t bother you what anyone thinks.
I just think aa an aunt and uncle gifts are given. It’s not your job to enforce the deal that was made
It’s not your place to discipline
Change your ways towards her, done be so trusting of her word. But it’s not your place to enforce consequences… unless the parents have asked you too cut it off and take phone back
My toddlers have tablets and we turn it off in certain times when they have had enough screen time. I also don’t give it to them when they are being bratty.
Take the phone off her she has to learn there are consequences for her actions. She needs to do chores. That was her chore that she said she would do and she didn’t do it.