Since being pregnant and having my baby, being around my husband’s niece gives me extreme anxiety, and I worry about my baby’s safety. The child is three and is very defiant and listens to no one. Sometimes the mother just sits and acts like she doesn’t notice her child’s actions, and she’s very sensitive when it comes to others correcting her child. The child constantly runs around, climbs on furniture, and throws things that have actually hit my baby a couple of times, and she always is sneezing and coughing w/ a runny nose, but her mother continues to bring her around. I’ve talked to my husband about it, but he brushes it off. Have any other mom’s experienced this, and what did you do?
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Honestly, that sounds like every 3 year old I know.
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She sounds 3.
Wait till your baby gets to that age. You’re apparently in for a surprise
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You’re very obviously a first time mother lol your kid will do all of these things also prepare yourself
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Well it seems like you have two choices. Either be the bad guy and speak up to her and voice your opinion and make it known that things need to change or keep the peace and just hope that nothing happens to your kid and if something does then you have to live with it because you didn’t take the proper steps to prevent it. Or at least try and prevent it. But your husband brushing it off and not listening to you he is not respecting your opinion or your concerns and you need to put a stop to it
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just put a blanket on the floor and give her some toys, toddlers are always full of energy lol
Why do they come over so often is this your husbands sister or brother or what lol seems like she’s over at your house a hole lot
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Dont visit them, all 3 year old have similar behavior, just like you describe it.
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Uhh yea normal 3 year.old behavior 
i currently have one and they dont listen to shit u get to a point where u sound like a broken record and tired of repeating yourself
Sounds like a normal 3 year old.
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Y’all must have some wild kids because throwing things has never been okay in my life or house. If she does something that hurts or upsets the baby you either correct her or get up and leave. There’s no reason you should be miserable. And she needs to absolutely correct her three year old of when she’s older it’ll be hell.
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She’s 3. My 3 yo son picked up my 2 week old daughter from her swing while standing on ceramic tiles. I had to run from the kitchen where I was doing dishes and vault over a lounge to grab her off him. Kids will be kids, explain the consequences of what she’s doing that’s undesirable, and praise the good stuff she does. Mention to the mum that when she’s sick, she shouldn’t be brought around.
What until your child is 3, big reality check.
They say terrible twos but what they should say is terrible threes lol.
My daughter was the worst behaved between 2.5-3.5 years old.
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Everyone is knocking it as normal behavior but it’s not, 3 is definitely old enough to be able to listen and behave especially around a newborn when plenty of adults are also there.
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She sounds 3? If you got a problem with it don’t go around his family
My house, my rules. I would be talking to the mom telling her either you get your child to quit or I will.
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Welp i hope your child doesnt become a 3 yr old your in for it.
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I’m afraid to tell you but the reality of it is that all 3 year olds are like that 
My 3 year old nephew lives wit me and is exactly the same.
Welcome to parenthood
my older one used to act that way, my younger one just turned three. They are learning new things and trying to see what they can do.
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My son is almost 2 and knows he’s not supposed to throw things. Just because a child is 3 doesn’t mean you should allow her to be destructive in your home around your child. So remove your child from her presence until her mom can correct her behavior. It doesn’t matter how old she is, bad behavior should be corrected even if she doesn’t always listen, that’s on her mother. People think spanking is child abuse or what the fuck ever 
if that’s the last resort then that’s what she needs, but of course only her mom can make that decision. Sucks you have to deal with that
I hate the “she is 3” replies I’ve raised 3 of my own watched 2 of my nieces at that age and this was not how they acted! Yes they have energy but they listened and knew not to throw thing and if they did they were corrected! If you don’t feel comfortable talk to her about it!
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Me: Come whoop your kid before I do it. 
But no, seriously, every 3yr old is hyper. But that’s ridiculous.
At one time we have a 3,4, and 10 yr old literally running through the house. But my friends infant? Is never in danger because we don’t let the kids bring the crazy around the baby.
Even my son, who is 3, is calm around the baby. He runs up and instantly calms down and gives the baby a kiss and says “hi baby” then he goes and plays.
You have to TEACH children to be easy with babies. Especially ones that aren’t used to them.
“Being 3” is not an excuse. 3yr olds should be taught.
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Your house your rules! You do not have to let them come over all the time. If they live there that’s another story. 
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Her mother needs a talking too. Just continue to correct her if no one likes it then give them all a attitude adjustment. Stand up for yourself an your child.
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Tell your SIL if she can’t control her child you will. I have 0 problem plopping a kid down in time out or removing them from an area if they are being destructive, especially if it’s in my home. Everyone knows if you bring your kid to my house then it gets treated like one of mine and I expect them to follow my rules or they are no longer welcome.
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My boys are wild like that and especially at that age… when I had my 3rd baby I would tell my other two ages 5 and 3 at the time. That whenever they would get wild that they had to go in another room because theres a baby. I would keep reminding them theres a baby. And show them how to be gentle. They caught on pretty quick and although they were still wild they would stay away from the baby unless they were calmed down.
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Don’t let her come over . I have a nephew who is just plain mean to my children and I don’t invite them over .
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Tell them straight up to shape up or ship out
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Lock your door when you see her coming!
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My three year old twins never throw things around the house. And they have been around their newborn cousins before and were so good. This is just bad parenting. There are alot of shitty moms who blame a child’s age for stupid behaviour. My twins even know a newborn is fragile and I can’t imagine them picking up a toy and throwing it across the room when there’s a baby in there. Can’t stand mums who blame age coz honestly most are raising little brats who feel entitled and cannot even be verbally disciplined.
This isn’t normal 3 year old behavior & we currently have a 3 year old. We have a 9,7,4,3,2, & 5 month old. Baby is never in danger. Put the kid in time out or whoop that butt.
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Wow some people and their kids… it’s not normal 3yo behavior, they can understand being careful and not throwing things. The mother just isnt teaching her. My daughter is 3 and has a baby cousin. Shes very gentle and careful around her.
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Actually yes, my husbands sisters son was physically abusive toward my daughter and I asked him to address the issues and not much was done. Finally after one visit my daughter ended up with a bruised nose. I had a talk with his sister myself followed by many since then. I ended all visits until she agreed to maintain her children. 7 years later she now has 3 unruly children who are constantly kicked out of school and are abusive toward each other and had a few CPS cases.
Don’t be afraid to put your foot down, and require others treat your children nicely. You are not asking for much at all.
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Mums who are saying that she is just 3, are not right. If they think this then there is little discipline in their households. My cousins daughter is three and she is well behaved when she comes over because he teaches her even at this tender age about respect and how to behave.
I think you are perfectly right to be anxious about her coming over. I’m a straightforward person so I would tell the sister that her child misbehaves and you dont want her around your little one when she is ill!
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Either she corrects her child or she doesnt come over anymore🤷 You have to set boundaries and make sure they are being respected.
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3 or not, if the child is being out of hand the mother needs to correct it! My daughter is 15 months old and knows how to behave around smaller children. She knows not to jump around and throw things. She’s gentle and loving. If you ain’t teaching them now, how are they gonna learn ?
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My daughter is three and knows how to act. I’m sorry but if your three year old is climbing on other peoples furniture and is being reckless around a baby then you need to re-evaluate. Yes, she has her moments but never in others homes and she knows she will be corrected quick if she tried it.
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Tell her that you prefer for them not to stop by so often at least until she stops jumping on your furniture and throwing things around the house.
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My nephew is 2 almost 3 and is so good to our 2 month old. Except occasional he does want to over love on her and thinks she’s okay to go running off to play lol so yea we have to watch him but he’s also not sick.
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I hate everyone saying she’s 3 no she needs to be disciplined! If you’re kid ends up getting RSV because of her then what? Or what if she gets hit with a toy so hard she gets a concussion? Speak up if your husband won’t, be the bad guy
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Your just going to have the child obey your rules inside or make her go outside, I wouldn’t be putting up with that from other peoples kids my kids are shockers at home but out they stick to the boundaries, your going to have to set boundaries and stick to them as you sound like the only adult here!
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Being 3 is not an excuse. If you see that in another person’s child it’s sad! So you did all you could do, raise your daughter different.
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Thats not typical 3 year old behavior. She needs discipline!
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I work in a head start for 3 to 5 year olds…be patient…they always come in like this…a little defiant …if they are only children its always worse cuz they never have to share at home and usually have the run of things…getting them to adjust to interacting appropriately takes a few weeks at least and they still have personalities and want to test limits …talk to mom about maybe getting her into a preschool for a few hours a day…it would give mom a break and its good for them…they learn skills and social interactions between peers early so when they go into kindergarten they are ready …you will see a drastic improvement in their behaviors within a few weeks…as for the sniffles…welcome to kids …we have boxes of tissues stationed all over the room for easy reach at all times lol.
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I treat all kids in my house the same as if they were mine so either correct your kid or i will.
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For people who are trying to normalize that behavior. Stop. I have a 1 year old, 3 year old and a 6 year old. And my 3 year old does NOT even remotely act like that. She knows she isn’t suppose to climb furniture or anytjing unless its a jungle gym or something meant for children. She also doesn’t throw stuff unless its a ball or something meant to be thrown and she is in their playroom. Also, i dont bring my children around other children if mine are sick. Thats just manners tell your SIL what the rules are and trell your husband that he needs to also enforce those rules. If she cant follow them, then her and her child aren’t welcomed.
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Your husband should be concerned just as much as you. Protect your baby.
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Wait, your husband’s niece? Wouldnt that be your niece too?
She actually sounds like a 3 year old.
The mom ignoring some of it sounds normal. Except the throwing things. But again, thats normal 3 year old behavior as well.
Get ready for it. Your precious baby will be a demon spawned 3 year old too before you know it.
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Yes I have experienced this and I just said they cant come over until my baby is bigger or she controls her child. This child ended up slapping my newborn in the face and I lost it. You should stop it somshow before that happens to you.
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No fuck that YOUR house YOUR rules. That’s on her for raising a child without respect. If my son can’t follow the rules at my friend’s house we don’t come back. And Visa versa. All the kids in my family where raised NOT to askt hat way at another home
Nope your house your rules. If she can’t follow them then she can’t be there.
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Whoop her ass and her mamas too!
I’ve always said my house my rules…I always had house full of neighborhood kids…they knew they were welcome but could not be destructive…
You need to have a serious talk with the mother…even if you don’t have kids why should anyone want to bring over colds and spread it around…that is just a selfish act with no regards for anyone…
If mom won’t discipline her child you do it…if she gets upset then tell her to do something or leave
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3 is not an excuse for that behavior. They are old enough to learn what to do and what not to do
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Your house your rules. If her mom don’t controll her open the door tell her get your unruly child and leave. Yet you can come back when you lean to controll her. If she hits the baby again spank her and slap her Momma
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Tell your dumbass husband that his dumbass sister and the (clearly sick) child need to back off and stay away! YOUR BABY. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN! 
It’s your house momma.
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When it comes to your baby’s safety, don’t take chances & stay vigilant. My husband’s nephew has had no discipline. He’s got a long history of red flags now. They’ve had him on all sorts of pills for his behavior which could’ve been preventable had they actually wanted to parent their child. He’s 8 & he’s just plain scary. He can’t be trusted. We avoid being around him as much as possible because the once or twice a year we do have to see him is always horrible.
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I don’t know why it’s funny. Must be those moms who raise “wild child” kids, aka undisciplined, reckless brats.
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It’s your home and if the mother is too ignorant to correct her own child than just don’t invite them over anymore. Problem solved
Ignore that people trying to normalize that kind of behavior for a three year old. That’s not ok! I would have a talk with your husband and tell him number one you don’t want the baby sick and definitely don’t want her hurt! He should care about baby’s safety as well and not brush this off. If they’re coming to your house I’d tell the child mother politely that you don’t want the child on your furniture or to throw things because you’re just afraid it’ll hit your baby. If she has a cough or anything I’d ask them not to come over as your baby could get sick. Sometimes you just have to be straightforward about your feelings. Better to come off a bitch than compromise your baby’s safety! Good luck momma.
My daughter was push down by a boy it was hard to almost it her head. The parents said well boys will be boys I lost my shit.
Make her mind or make her mother take her home!!!
Your house your rules and mama if people can’t respect them then they can leave! 
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Tell mom to do something with her or that she cant go over anymore. Or everytime she does go over take your baby and leave. She’ll get the hint.
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Never leave her alone w your baby…like ever!!
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Shes 3 what do expect welcome to being a mother thats nothing wait when there teenager game just started.
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Yup sounds like a toddler…toddler give zero fawks 
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Wait till yours is 3 then get back to us. She is a toddler…which yours will be someday too lol
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You mean a 3 year old acting like a normal 3 year old? A spirited child? My 3 year was absolutely ruthless and it was not for lack of discipline, she was just stubborn and extremely spirited. But they are young, the world is new, they are just realizing they have independence. I sure hope people give you grace when your child is 3, because if it was the other way around and family didn’t want your kid around, you probably wouldn’t be very happy.
Also it’s not like it’s a sibling she’s around all the time. Kids don’t just know that you can’t act like that around babies.
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Every kid is different. My 2 (nearly 3) year old little boy runs, jumps, climbs, throws things etc. Sometimes defiantly and sometimes he just gets carried away playing. That does NOT make him a bad kid. And yes we correct him. My 10 yo was the complete opposite. HOWEVER my 2 yo does NOT act like that when we are at other family members houses. Yes she needs to be corrected. Tell mom your concerns. If she doesn’t correct her then you do it. Correcting her doesn’t have to mean you yell at her. Just explain to her why it’s not ok. If Mom doesn’t like that then it’s your choice to no allow her over or to at the very least take the baby to another room. Also, you could find some activities for her to do while she’s visiting. Buy her coloring books (color wonder so she cant color on anything) or puzzles or a dvd of her favorite cartoon. Buy her a baby doll and teach her how to take care of it. Buy/make sugar cookies and let her decorate them. My little guy loves to help everyone. Let her help you with the baby. Find something/anything that will keep her little mind and body occupied.
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“normal toddler” "she’s 3"🤦 I had 3… Never did they act like that. When they were full of energy, we went to the park where they could run it off. That’s not ok behaviour, especially in someone else’s home and definitely around babies! Ooof… Some people and their kids… Smh
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Anyone who says this is normal has lost their mind. My kids never acted like this because I taught them better. There’s really nothing you can do but tell her she has to follow the rules at your house and that’s not how we act. If mom doesn’t like it she knows where the door is. Lazy parents make me crazy!
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Lol. Your husbands niece is also your niece.
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You make the rules in your house. Sounds like dad ain’t helping so you need to be the one to step up. try to gently tell the mother that it makes you super super nervous and get anxiety when your niece is throwing things and acting wild around the baby. After that I would say it’s okay for you to tell the little girl that she needs to calm down around the baby. Period. Tell her she will get one warning and after that she has to go out on time out in another room - or something similar whatever you want. If the mom has a problem, then she can just not come over anymore. I wouldn’t worry about my relationship with someone who clearly doesn’t even care about how things are affecting you.
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That age; it’s normal but if you don’t like it then say it, your house your rules when your baby is three and you’re not allowing them to do that but the other can… hows that teaching?
Some 3 year olds may act like that but does not mean they can do all that at somebody’s house. 3 is a perfect age to start teaching kids how to behave.
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Get over and grow a backbone… seriously there is no need to be nervous just be strong. You control what happens around your baby and if that means you hold the baby the entire time at a family function than that’s what you do.
Also… it’s clear you really don’t like this child and that’s just sad.
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Ok, so 3 year olds are loud and super active. They don’t have a developed sense of self control or patience, and they are just coming into their own, so they really want to follow their impulses. That doesn’t mean you can’t remind her (even every 5 seconds) that she needs to slow down and play nicely with the baby around. BUT throwing things and other outrightly dangerous behaviors don’t need to be tolerated. If her mother won’t correct her, you’re gonna have to stick up for your child, and ultimately, your home. “We do not allow throwing in this house. Period. If you want to do that, you’ll have to ask mommy to take you outside. And if it happens again, I’m gonna ask you to leave or sit in time out.” Say it in front her mother. If her mother wants to shit her pants about it, oh well. “Was it just a stuffed animal, Sharon? Or was it what she threw at me right before she grabbed that knife off the counter and took up her own circus act in my livingroom? Either way, it’s a no from me. And if you don’t like it, let me remind you that this is not a hostage situation and you’re free to leave. Door’s right there. 
”
But you DO need to get over the runny nose. The baby will get sick. It’s a part of building the immune system. Spray the child with lysol when she walks in like you were spraying already and her clumsy ass just walked right into the line of fire. This is not the hill you want to die on, because when you have more kids, you’re gonna realize what an ass you were being. As long as she doesn’t have a fever, you’re good. You’ll see. Don’t worry.
This is not a 3 yr old it’s a child left to do as she pleases, not taught how to behave. I’m all for kids being kids but throwing stuff is not ok at any age and at 3 she fully understands what shes doing. Get down to her level and explain we don’t throw toys and need to be careful around the baby.
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I’m dealing with this also… except the crazy toddler is mine so I can’t send her anywhere
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Lol a 3 year old with some home training doesn’t act up at someone else’s house, i would just ask them not to come back over if she cant control her kid and leave it like that, bc the second time my baby got hit with something a 3 year old brat threw, their momma would be the one getting the ass whooping
Plus if a person let’s their kid act like this at your house, that person has no respect for you, your house, or themselves bc clearly the kid runs the show
I mean . This will be interesting when your babies the 3 year old that a new mothers scared off
3 year olds are assholes dude .
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Every new Mother experiences this. Sounds like your neice is right on schedule as far as qcting out goes. ( this will be your child in 2.7 yrs.) Patience and distracting your neice with something interesting and explaining gentle to her ( your SO job) post parenting tips on your social media. Sister inlaw is exhausted ( as you will be) maybe if she sees it on you facebook she may start readi g it too.
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Your husbands niece…you mean your niece? You sound like the type that doesn’t accept his family as your own, problem one. 3 year olds can be wild but still a child none the less and one that is in your home. Let her know that you dont jump on furniture at your home or throw things. If mom has a problem then tell her that she needs to relay that message herself…your baby will be fine tho so feel free to losen up a bit. Someday your baby will likely be the older sibling to a baby and will get rowdie around them too… itll be ok. Also the runny nose and what not is not always the easiest to contain. Plus the germs will help build your babies immune system. Look at things in an optimistic way…its all good. Lol
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Some of the things ppl write on here it’s just ur really that petty really
My 3 year old is WILD. Runs and jumps everywhere. But he wouldn’t dare even get near his little 1 month old brother without my permission. He always asks me before he even touches him. If he was throwing things around him he know he’d get in trouble so I would be irritated too. And it’s totally normal to be anxious. Just let them all know how you feel and set firm boundaries
I have a 5 week old and I would NEVER let a terribly behaved not to mention sickly child around my baby! I would have hit the bloody ceiling if some brat had hit my kid! And before I get jumped on I have 2 kids and don’t think this is normal behavior in the slightest
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Speak up!! Are you going to do something or me? Her choice. This is opposite of my 3 year old. He would test me but no one else! And this behavior was not allowed with me either. He knew how to behave at other peoples places.
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I would tell her in my house, we expect children to behave and if you’re not gonna make her, I will. Don’t like it, leave! My house, my rules.
Shes sounds like a three year old. You’re probably be overly sensitive because you have a baby around her. I’m a 3/4s teacher. I’ve had hundreds of students and my own daughter. She is probably excited to see you guys and is not getting enough excercise because its winter. Just keep reminding her to be mindful of the baby.
Maybe get her some things to play with when she is over. Eventually your baby can use them too. Just sounds a like bored 3 year old who feels they need more attention.
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Wait until school, lol…
All these people excusing it by saying she’s three… my three year old is sweet, well mannered and knows right from wrong as far as basics (I.e. not throwing, wiping her nose, covering her mouth and sitting down when told to.) she knows not to climb on shit. Now my one year old boy… he’s another story. He’s still learning and is only 1 sooooo that mother needs to correct her child.
Sounds like a normal child but it’s your house and you should correct her. If her mother doesn’t like it she doesn’t need to come over. Don’t be mean about it. Just explain to the kid why throwing things are dangerous or how she has to be careful around babies. If she doesn’t listen then be more stern about it. If the mother doesn’t like it tell her if she doesn’t say something then you will. She can decide herself if she wants her kid around it or start correcting her child.
A swift chop to the throat will calm her right on down
#CalmDownItWasAJoke
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Just wait 3 more years sweetie. Lol
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That’s a normal 3 year old. Maybe talk with the mother a bit about your anxiety and she’ll tighten up on her kid. We’ve all been first time moms at some point. It’s understandable to be so worried. But just like you have your feelings, she has hers. She’s dealing with toddler phase and hunny, you’re not as far away from that as you think. That woman is tired and choosing her battles. Redirection and attention will work for the little girl. She’s old enough to explain baby safely to. But bottom line is her mom has to know about your fears so she knows when to tighten up ship. If she doesn’t, you need to in you’re own home. Just keep in mind you’re going to have one of these adorable tornados before you know it.
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Set rules. Same rules for my kids in my house apply to anyone who comes through family or not…
You DO NOT jump on furniture, You DO NOT throw things.
You FIGHT OVER something it’s PUT AWAY…
You MUST keep your hands to yourself at all times.
ALWAYS cover your mouth an nose when coughing or sneezing and WASH your hands .
When my grandson was born and at mine, if you were sick, You DONT visit while he’s here…
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Why are you allowing someone into your home who shows such blatant disregard for you and especially your baby? My priority is always my child. You are your little one’s voice! Speak up!
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My son never did anything harmful to his newborn sister that was something that he caught on quickly with as soon as she came home and he was almost 3 when she was born. This is probably a only child that is extremely spoiled with very little discipline. I would definitely speak up before something really bad happens that could have been prevented. My child’s safety would come before how anyone feels end of story.
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