My heart breaks for you. You need to sit your family down and tell them it’s not nothing. You carried a child you had hoped and dreams for this baby. This baby isn’t your other kids they’re individuals. Maybe week counseling for grieving moms. You’re not alone, you might feel alone but you’re not. Own your feelings, I think you are, you can mourn for your baby and still celebrate that you have 5 kids.
You’re right for feeling the way you do. The next time some one says at least you have the others ask them which child they’d be willing to part with. It doesn’t matter if you have 1 or 100 the loss the same. Reach out for help. Counseling, antidepressants you’re not alone and do not have to fight alone.
I think it’s a touchy situation because people don’t know what to truly say.
They may feel if they are ambivalent about it that you will mirror ?
Maybe your husband is avoiding as a way to deal with his grief?
I personally am so sorry you had this happen to you. Maybe a support group at the hospital or online for this particular situation so you can have some support from people who have been through the same thing? Hugs
People honestly just do not understand the pain if they have not gone through it themselves. My first I miscarried. I mourned for months… even 5 years later I still think if him/her & feel the loss. But prior to that, 2 people I know suffered miscarriages & when I think of how little support I offered or even the things I said meaning well, I realize how much I really missed the mark. They’re not trying to be hurtful… they just truly do not understand. Please seek out support from people who have dealt with similar losses. Hugs & prayers. Your sweet baby was loved & I know how much your heart hurts.
U never get over the loss of a child no matter how many children u have b4 or after the loss … I’m so sorry u r going through this
I know you’ve already been told to that all you have to do is pray. Yes, do pray…also look into finding a group offering what you’ve experienced along with seeking a trauma therapist. If you go to church, reach out to your church, not look into finding one.
When I had my miscarriage, I worked at two different places, and I will tell you, at the one workplace, my staff bought me flowers, a card, talked with me,gave me hugs and said they were there for me and if I needed anything. My other workplace barely acknowledged it. It was such a slap in the face. However, I think now that I can see it through clearer eyes (It’s been 7 years and I have since had my rainbow baby) I think it was hard on my coworkers to have the right words to know what to say. I also think that my staff was much older than me, and back in older days, women just didn’t talk about these things… almost like if you talk about it, well then you acknowledge it can happen to you. Miscarriages and stillbirths are very common, but sometimes, as a society, we try to sweep it under the rug as it is sad, but a kind of reality that goes along with bearing children. You should have gotten better support from your family and friends, but if they are not there for you, maybe try talking to a therapist, or join an online support group. There are many women just like you who have suffered. It does feel better to talk about it and it does feel better to acknowledge that that child existed and that when they passed on, a little part of you did too. I lost mine at 11 weeks and thought about it constantly until I had my daughter 2.5 yrs later. Sorry for the rant, but the bottom line is, I hope you find someone to talk to. Grief is normal still after this, but just make sure that it doesn’t get on top of you.
It may be a case of them being afraid that bringing it up will cause you more pain. Have you told them that it helps you to talk about it and to remember that precious life? This may simply miscommunication and them being fearful of hurting you further. I’m so sorry for your devastating loss. Hugs.
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a son. 42 years ago who lived 31/2 days. Although my family was supportive I got a lot of that from people. One lady even told me I was being selfish for grieving him when I had 3 children at home. And that wasn’t the worst. I went home and would not leave home for a long time. People are ignorant to the fact that baby is part of you. I feel for you and I would love to hug you and help you. I just want to say draw your strength from God and your other children know people like me understand and love you. Please pray above all never forget you little one who is now a little angel loving you and he will always love you. He will never. Forget you sweet lady
Maybe it’s because you’re their rock, and they cant imagine a world where you arent strong. So they try to pretend like everything is fine, because they dont know any other way to be?
I think a lot of people have no idea what to say, especially when they haven’t experienced a loss. You’ve got every right to grieve this loss. You were with your baby every moment of it’s entire life. Much love mama
I’m so very sorry for your loss! I know those words are not the ones you would like to hear and this whole situation is not where you want to be! You are definitely not over reacting, like others have suggested maybe try talking to a counselor that can be there to listen to you and find a group that is specific to your grief I know there is one called A Memory Grows and I believe they have a Facebook page. This group has been so helpful to some of my loved ones! And I know they can be there for you too! sending you love and virtual hugs!
I am so sorry for your loss.
You are not overreacting. I wanna say last year, my dad told me to get over the loss of my twins from June 2015. Doesn’t matter how many children you have, you lost one and are still grieving. Take all the time you need to to grieve, there is no set time. My messenger is always open
So sorry for your loss💔 you have every right to be angry! You are grieving for a heartbreaking loss! Take care and my heart breaks for you and your baby
Sounds like you had kids with the wrong guy… that’s fucked up on a whole new level…
So sorry dear ,but go get counseling before it’s to late ,it helps
So sorry for your loss.
A girl I worked with before had this happen. She was pregnant along with 2 other girls at the same time. All of which took their maternity leave at the same time. It’s difficult to know how to approach a woman whom you know this has recently happened to. You don’t want to say the wrong thing or upset them at all. I’m sure this is how a lot of
People are acting around you. I’m sure they all care, and they too are going to have their own feelings about the loss. Just speak out about your feelings in a calm way so you and others don’t get overly upset about the wrong topic at hand.
I’m so sorry for your loss babygirl. Look up Taylor Kellie on YouTube. She went through a stillbirth as well. Hearing her story may help you.
I have 2 kids and am pregnant with my 3rd. I don’t care how many kids you have if you carry a baby for 9 months that has got to be so devastating. I feel bad for you that you’re family can’t understand. I know a lot of people deal with it different ways.
People don’t know until things happen to them.Prayers for your healing.
OMG…I can not personally say I know how you feel. Never been in that particular situation. But I have had a miscarriage. (didn’t know I was expecting at that time). I and my husband had just relocated to another state, away from family and friends. I too was devastated, but my husband was there right by my side with our 3 year old little girl. I will tell you what my mom told me…pray and ask God to heal my broken heart. We don’t know why He took our baby away, but I do know I trust and believe in my Almighty God. It took time before the hurt finally eased away, but I will never forget that hurt. I thanked Him for the daughter He gave me. Low and behold…three years later, He blessed us with another little girl. She is now 29 years old. I love her and her sister, to the moon and back. Pray, my friend…the pain will slowly go away. Be blessed, my love. Your new Angle is smiling down on you, to let you know she is fine.
You are most certainly justified! Some people are just cold, and sometimes people don’t realize how bad the hurt is until they experience it themselves. So sorry for your loss love.
When I had my miscarriage my family really didn’t know what to say, so they didn’t call or anything. I feel your pain. My husband, parents and brothers and sisters including my husbands sister are the only ones that reached out to me. At that time my sister and I were fighting but, she still called me and came to see me.
I’m so sorry for your loss and many people cant comprehend the toll.something like that has on a mother. Look in to support groups so that you have like people to talk with
A friend posted this after her miscarriage . Your grief is completely justified
Fuck them losing a baby peoples have no clue Grief aLL YOU WANT
I lost a son to premature birth he lived 4 hours the only person in my family who cared was my baby sister she stayed by my side through it all what hurt most was my mother telling me to get over it so I understand just hang in GOD IS with you
I’m so sorry for your loss. It seems like your loved ones just don’t know how to deal with it or how to be around you while you grieve. Your baby mattered
Keep strong hun , I’m so sorry for you loss, I can only imagine how u would be feeling, you have every right to be angry , try a Theripist to get your self some kind of peace , I will keep u in my prayers
Losing a child no matter how short or long they were in your body or the real world it never gets any easier! No one should ever have to feel the way you do! Its one thing for them to not say anything since sympathetic words can sometimes cause more pain (this has been true for me) but for them to act like you have no right to be upset I just can’t fathom! I would have a talk with them and if they continue to act like you’re overreacting cut those toxic people out of your life! I am sorry for your loss and once have grieved and have come to terms with the loss of your child may you start your journey of healing!
I’m so sorry!! That is the most ignorant thing I’ve read today. Your family should be by your side supporting you during hard times… I’m so sorry😭 that’s terrible
I couldn’t imagine your pain, but know a lot of people don’t know what to say and when they do say anything it doesn’t come out the way intended…it’s a hard topic, no one wants to make anyone cry, if it can be avoided
You are all you need for your strength. Don’t depend on others to be sensitive to your needs or losses. Sometimes, we deal with things alone doesn’t mean it’s unimportant but people don’t know the value of what you had. I would talk to a support group and keep those people out of the conversation with your stillborn.
You are not over reacting it’s an absolute tragedy and any pregnant woman’s living nightmare. You are ok to grieve and feel upset and cry or however you choose to deal with the pain, nobody should tell you how you should feel. Big huggs xx
You are right to feel the way you do. You are grieving and that’s okay. The march of dimes has information on their site to help you. Look up unspoken stories. Their are alot of women who share their experience to help others deal with wat they are going through. WE ALL LOVE YOU AND SUPPORT YOU. WE VALIDATE YOUR FEELINGS
I’m so sorry for your loss…I cannot even imagine the pain you must be going thru. And on top of it all to have ur family be so cold. My heart and prayers are with you…stay strong mama.
You really need support prayers send your way
You are absolutely justified! I’m sorry u are going through this… my thoughts & prayers are with u
Wow what assholes!! Id be devastated and im so sorry for your loss
I’m so very sorry for your loss.
Not taking sides but maybe family doesn’t know how to grieve or know what to say. My heart aches for you and may God comfort you and give you strength.
I’m so very sorry for your loss, I havent experienced it personally, but if you ever want to talk or vent or whatever feel free to pm me. I wont pretend like I know what your going through because I dont but i can be a listening ear or just a support system.
Coming from a mom who also lost a child to stillbirth: you are completely justified to be upset. You lost a child! Everyone deals with loss differently. F*** what anyone else thinks. Take as long as you need to grieve.
Children are not interchangeable,or exchangeable. Each one is precious.no other child will replace the one you lost but they will be there to help you heal with hugs and kisses.take all of the snuggles you can get
You are justified.
Are all heartless assholes . You have every right to be down and upset . If these people can’t find it in their hearts to see what you’ve been through then you shall get all these negative people out of your life . It’s clear and obvious they don’t give a crap about you . !
I’m so sorry ask for help in the hospital. I couldn’t imagine the loss of a baby yes I had a few miscarriages early and that alone was difficult. My sister had a stillborn and that was the hardest thing for us to take. Prayers and hugs
Always so sad to hear about still birth and then on top of that family acting like you’re not supposed to care.
It’s bs. You’re right to feel the way you do, express it to them. Especially you’re husband. Doesn’t matter what child it is. It’s sucks loosing a child period.
So sorry for your loss
I am so sorry, they should be doing more for you
Omg I’m so sorry! This is so devastating for you. It doesn’t matter how many children you have at home this was your baby!! This is so sad honey
You need to grieve this loss and need family to lean on including mostly your husband.
Sending you prayers
Hugs honey xxx
I’m so sorry for your loss darling you are morning a child. Yes you have four beautiful children but that makes no difference this baby is a child lost and you need time to greave whether you have no child or 10. Sending my heart felt condolences I am so sorry for your loss if you need someone to talk to please inbox me I’m sorry to say I am disappointed in your husbands attitude but in the same breath we no males dont tend to process feelings like women do again I’m so very sorry for your loss. Fly high angel x
So sorry for your loss it doesn’t matter what others think or say it was your child and your loss
You are justified in your grief and in being upset … I’m so sorry…your family was extremely insensitive … I’m so sad for you …
Omg. I’m so sorry. Sending love to you.
Find a stillbirthday bereavement doula in your area. They work on a donation basis and are super helpful.
You need to grieve mama, you lost your baby. I am so so sorry for your loss.
Wishing for support while you are grieving is natural, most people give it. It’s a little odd that your family is not.
I went thru the same. And after that. I tell my family about my pregnancies when im on my last weeks of pregnancy. I dont share good news with them. I was criticized when i had a child after my stillborn. Why i had another. I need to focus on my one child… Im sorry this happened. I know that empty feeling. Maybe a support group. Usually hospitals have these. Or fb pages dedicated to infant loss. Those pages helped me alot. Sending you love my dear. It wont get better but it gets easier. Grieve as long as you want to. Dont hold back emotions.
There is an amazing grief support group here on Facebook, it helped me on my worse days.
Honey I felt the same way when i delivered my stillborn son who had a heartbeat 45 min they decided to do an emergency csection…21 yrs ago…and now it’s my personal grief…I keep my son to myself…every year around his bday none call or anything…its something I’ve learned to deal w alone…but it still hurts like it was yesterday…and I dont understand why…so very sorry for you loss❤…I really do understand
Why wasn’t your husband there for the delivery? No you are not over reacting at all. I am so sorry you’re going thru this alone.
I’m so very sorry for you losing your baby as a mom I cant imagine how you are feeling I cant feel what your feeling but I can only imagine the emptiness and I feel wholeheartedly for you and I will keep you in my prayers and even though I dont know you please feel free to reach out to me I am a great listener. My condolences
Christine Powell Boyer can you please write her???
That is not okay. Losing a baby at any stage is horrible. Losing a baby and not having support I could imagine would be a nightmare. I am so sorry for your loss
It’s unfortunate how people are so insensitive to another persons pain… focus on healing from losing your baby and not the people around you… your body is still going through the adjustment so deal with your pain and once you heal maybe you can try to communicate how they made you feel
Feel that resentment girl you have a family full of uncaring assholes.
I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine your pain & then to not have support on top of it breaks my heart. I hope you can find a counselor or someone to talk to. Please let your family & husband know you are struggling & need their support. Maybe you could write your husband a letter explaining how you feel? Sometimes guys just don’t get it unless it’s in black & white.
Continued hugs & prayers.
Your body is recovering, but you do deserve to be treated better, ask for help, maybe get with a specialist who deals with this kind of thing and then you can start getting back to being a version of you that has lost but can move forward.
I’m so sorry sweetheart. No you’re not overreacting cause they are being insensitive AF. Losing a baby to miscarriage is awful so I can’t even imagine the pain and grief that comes with a stillbirth This is something you’ll never really be able to get over and they need to be supporting you, especially your husband. One of the miscarriages I had my family pretty much acted like this. My grandmother told me it was for the best and I got so upset and mad at her I didn’t talk to her for a month and I loved that woman so much, but she could’ve stuck a knife in my heart and that would’ve felt better than what she said. I am so very very sorry for your loss, and I hope they get their heads out of their asses and start supporting you. If you feel like you’re getting postpartum depression PLEASE speak to someone. What you just went through was traumatic, and that puts you at an even higher risk for postpartum depression. My heart love and prayers are with you, and again I am so sorry for your loss
Could it be that they are unsure what to say to help? What do you say to a mom who lost her precious baby? Being there sometimes is enough. Sometimes not. You have other kids to love and cherish. They don’t replace or minimize your loss or heartache. Counseling may be in order for you. Don’t hesitate if you need it. I will pray for your family.
Your baby matters! Your feelings matter! You matter! I’m so sorry you don’t have a good support system. I lost my baby boy in June as well. I’m sorry that this happened to you. It’s a struggle, one that only God and time can heal. My heart hurts for you. You will see your baby again one day. Hold onto that hope. Have you tried talking to your husband about your feelings? Your family should be there for you, especially at your time of need. Is it possible that they just aren’t quite sure of what to say? Whoever told you that you should be happy you already have kids obviously doesn’t understand the pain your heart is feeling. There are tons of support groups. I run one called Hope From Heaven if you’d like to join. I hope it gets better for you. I will be praying for you and your family.
I’m so sorry for you girl. Your family should’ve been there for you.
Wow I am so sorry for your loss and sorry no one was there to support you through it x
So sorry for your loss. Not everyone understands the loss that you have experienced. I will be praying for you. There might be a support group in your area. You need support going through this!
Definitely not overreacting! I get that your husband may have been watching your other kids but if he wasnt I would be profoundly pissed to the point of probably moving out for a while. I dont know what your situation is with your family but I would cut all those fuckers out of my life from here on out. Grieve, find counseling because you have zero support at home.
I am so sorry for your loss.Maybe talk to someone who is outside of Family a therapist a pastor a neighbour. This might help you feel better please look after yourself and take one dash at a time
That is absolutely terrible! I am so very sorry you had to go through this alone. I can’t believe you went through this alone. Your family should have been there for you every step of the way.
One of my friends went through with having a stillborn he was healthy and everything it was to be her first child and they ended up making her push and everything even though they couldn’t find the heartbeat. They didn’t even care as the crushed his skull when she was giving birth. My friend and her husband ended up sueing the doctor for not treating it as if their son was alive. Hey just had a baby after a year of losing their first one and they are doing good but they still miss their first child. As my friend said they will never get over not having their first child but they aren’t going to stop trying and loving the one they have now.
After my stillbirth a member of my family told me she understood how I felt because she had an abortion once. People are stupid.
Let’s turn to Facebook even tho I have 4 kids and a husband. That’s a great idea!
Feel free to message me. I lost my daughter after she was born at 34 weeks and fought for her life for a bit over a month. Everyone griefs differently and some find ignoring to be best what what immediate family would want. I understand your pain.
I’m truly sorry for your loss and lack of support. You are entitled to how you feel. Maybe a grief counselor could help. It would be so sad if such a tragedy led to more tragedy.
You are absolutely justified in your reaction! It’s absolutely rude, uncaring, and horrible that they want you to just get over it! Just because you already have children does not mean that this child meant nothing. Every child, every pregnancy is meaningful and (usually) a loved and cherished being. Sending lots of love and light to you.
Maybe the dad is greiving too and just dont want to show it.
I’m so sorry for your loss I can’t even imagine how your feeling and you should never have had to go through something so devastating alone. Your feelings are completely valid and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Prayers are with you
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s extremely insensitive from all of them including your husband and family!
I am so sorry for your loss Praying for you!
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your child existed and your child mattered. I’m so sorry you are alone in this. I’m sorry your family isn’t supporting you.
I hope that you can find someone who will be there for you. I would also suggest therapy if and when you are ready. Talking to a third party really helps. Praying for you!
I am so sorry. I know the loss of a child…my heart is with you.
Idc how many babies you have at home, you lost a baby. You gave birth to a baby who, for whatever reason, stopped living. And there is no worse pain than losing a baby. You may have 4, but you should have 5. & your husband and family should of been there. And all these women in here commenting negativity, seriously need a reality check.
My Mom was pregnant 13 times only gave birth to 6. 5 are alive and one was a still born the rest was miscarriages. I had a miscarriage as well, so I know the pain if losing a child n told I shouldn’t talk about that child but I do it anyway. I promised my Mom that if I ever had a little girl I would name her after my sister. N that’s just what I did. Now her memory will carry on thru my child! So sorry for your loss. Now that child is another angle watching over you!
I always wonder what my child would have been like, looked like, sound like no or if they would be successful in life. My baby should be 22.
I’m so sorry they treated you that way, I will never understand how some people can’t show great care and concern when such a tragetic loss of a child, you know some people don’t consider a baby alive until they are borned, but the Mother know different and remember you will see that baby one day in Heaven and I think of the child I lost as my guardian angel, will keep you in my prayers and will pray for your family to show compassion for your loss, God Bless You!!!
I can’t help but tell you that you aren’t alone. There were MANY times I felt like no one understood. I had my oldest daughter at home, but still had lost my son. No other child can replace another. As mothers, we know our children even in utero. My son would be almost 21 and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of him. I have had 3 more children since Eric, but ALL my children know about their brother in heaven. No one should tell you not to grieve your baby! That child grew beneath your heart and was part of you. We never forget our angel babies💙 If you ever need to talk, inbox me❤
That is very insensitive. That was still your baby and have the right to grieve. You will be in my prayera
Message me! I know of a support group just for this… I am a member of one of their sister groups and October is Pregnancy, Infant… awareness month!
I so sorry for your loss, YES it IS a loss, and im sorry that no one has taken the time to share that with you. I understand how you feel
so sorry for ur loss very heart breaking to hear about ur family but now just turn to god draw strength for god