So many people will never understand the loss you feel unless or until they experience it themselves. I personally have been pregnant four times. I lost my first baby at 24 weeks. I lost my second at about 6 weeks. I had a healthy baby boy my third pregnancy and lost another baby boy at 20 weeks my last pregnancy. And I remember feeling ashamed when I would consider trying to get pregnant again… I felt judged…“why does she keep getting pregnant when she knows they’re going to die…” but the truth is it does NOT matter what anyone else thinks. Only you and your husband can decide when you’ve finished creating your family. When I miscarried only 4 months after losing our first to stillbirth, it didnt hurt me like it hurt me with the stillbirth, BUT when my friend lost her baby at about 7 weeks, it hurt her much more than mine had… no loss is any less significant… just because I had a stillbirth and you had a miscarriage, that doesn’t make your grief any less important than my grief. Just because a person loses a baby to SIDS at 4 months when mine never breathed doesn’t make mine any less significant…unfortunately men don’t cope with things like we do. Keep your head up, momma. Grieve in your own time.
Please consider reading my book. I hope it helps you. You can find it on Amazon, or PM me…
The Twenty-four Weeker: Bentley’s Story: A Memior https://www.amazon.com/dp/179070846X/ref=cm_sw_r_em_apa_i_KZkTDb9A7DZWY
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Sorry for your loss! I would give your husband a break. He is probably just as heartbroken and lost. When you were in the hospital, you had doctors and nurses around taking care of you. He was at home trying to keep life going for the rest of the kids. He knew you were being taken care of physically but was probably in no state to help you mentally. While I don’t agree with him not visiting, he was dealing with grief too.
I would look into grief counseling. It will help with your loss. People don’t get it. That was your baby at the end of the day. That was your connection, your bond that is gone. It’s a hollow feeling and it’s a lonely path to walk.
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I’m really sorry that you have no support through this! Regardless of already having children this baby was loved and clearly wanted so you are right to feel resentment to being told that! It’s not an overreaction either you are grieving and should be supported through this not left to feel like you’re wrong for feeling the way you do x
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You’re feelings are justified. I would explain to your husband your grief. Most people don’t know what to do or say in these situations. Which is also ok too. I know it hurts but talking to woman that have been through this would help. Your family probably don’t know how to react or what you need. You probably don’t even know what you need. I would try to express myself to my husband though so he knows how hard of a time you are having and if you have and he doesn’t get it. Express to him you need to find a support group. It will help.
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This is just horrible I almost died from having a miscarriage and was treated the same way ppl think you just move on from losing a child go at your own speed and mess them your human and have feelings
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Your hurting, and rightly so ignore the comments of others, truth is they probably don’t know what to say and they don’t have the brains to shut up and just give you a hug, that is so badly needed at this time. You need to greave. I lost a baby too. All i can say is when you are ready try again if you want. Your sorrow will abate in time. Try to stay busy and get rest, spend time with your other kids, try and forgive your husband for being an unfeeling ass. He didn’t know how to handle the situation. The creator has other plans.
That’s devastating. We grown our children inside of us and know them before anyone. We have dreams and hopes of who they are or will become. It is very selfish of those around you. Maybe try to find a local support group in your area, or even a fb group that you can let your feelings be heard in.
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As someone who has lost two babies myself, your feelings are valid. Your pain and grief is real. Never let anyone make you feel bad for that. I found a lot of support in online forums. There are a lot of women out there who have been in our shoes. And next time someone says something so dumb, as them which of their children they would be ok with dying. That usually puts it in perspective for them.
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OMG - so unfeeling of your friends and family. You needed help and support on the loss of your child more than if he’d been born healthy. You need to allow yourself time to mourn your sweet baby. Please try explaining this at least to your husband if you can. If not, try to find a compatible group where you can allow your grief room to show itself. I’m so deeply sorry for the loss of your dear baby.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage about 8 years ago and it almost ruined me. But my husband just went on like nothing happened and I couldn’t. I would be absolutely pissed off at my husband and the rest of my family (other then the kiddos). I would tell them exactly how you feel. If that pisses them off to bad. And they dont need to be around you. The next one that tells you to just get around it or it’s for the best… Ask them if it would be for the beat if it was one of their kids… Dont put up with that crap. You need to feel and grieve in your away in your own time. That’s the only way you will heal from this.
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Omg, this is awful. I am so sorry for your loss. It’s not you, it’s them! Whatever their excuse, it isn’t good enough in my opinion. I have learned over my lifetime (48) that YOU have to take care of yourself because no one else is always going to be there for you. I’m so glad you posted this and hope you can find support here. Maybe they will eventually come around but in the meantime, reach out to a doctor, support group, whatever and whomever to talk this out.
None of what they are doing is acceptable. This was a life lost, and yes while everyone has their own way of grieving, thry have to be there for you. You and your body went through this.
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My heart aches for you…Im sooo sorry u had 2 deal with this alone. Pray over an about the situation (family) May God Bless you an get you thru this.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I also lost a baby in 2016, it was absolutely devastating! Your feelings are valid and I wish your family were more supportive, specially your husband. Sending many hugs your way. 
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My daughter had a stillborn( at 8months) 17 years ago and we srill grieve. Prayers for you:heart:
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I lost my second at 23w1d. People don’t know how to act with this kind of thing and it doesn’t excuse anything. Your husband is probably dealing with it his own way then you. My husband handles it differently then I do. I would definitely find a support group it go to counseling if you can. You can pm me if you like to talk.
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Maybe your partner is dealing with the grief in his own way, when I had a miscarriage, I was devastated (it was a planned baby) I didn’t want to talk to anyone about it at first and just acted like nothing happened but it caught up with me in the end, you should talk to him and tell him how you feel about it.
I can’t really say much for your other family not being there as they should have rallied round you to comfort you.
Sorry for your loss xx
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Sorry for your loss. Take time to grive. One day at a time.
Sorry for your loss. Have you considered seeking counseling?
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No no no!! That is just wrong for all of them to ignore it or brush it off!! So sorry for your loss. Your feelings are totally valid!!!
No thats really shitty. Ive had miacarrages and no one bat an eye. No one truely knows a mothers pain of a loss no matter how old the baby was. My heart is with you.
I had a misscarriage 2 Years ago at 3 months no heart beat and it still hurts now even tho I have a son who is four … You should talk to him and tell him how your feeling explain everything and see if you could talk to a.councillor because it will help … Xxx
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Im so sorry uve had 2 experience such a devastating loss. Im no psychologist but i believe they r dealin w/this thee best way they know how witch is 2 ignore thee situation. They’ll come around n just like always come 2 mom 4 answers. B prepared 2 deal w/this later ALSO WHILEST U R STILL DEALIN W/IT URSELF. They’ll have moments , u have a lifetime. U will deal w/this in ur own way. Health n happiness 2 u n urs !
MOMS HAVE RUFF TIMES …REMEMBER 2 MAKE TIME 4 URSELF ! U R THEE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THIS EQUATION. CARRY ON LOVE !!! 
Prayers for you so sorry you are having to go through this.You can’t rush this. Just like any other grief .
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May god be with you in your time of need. You’re allowed too feel the way you do cry when you feel sad screem when you feel its too much and just allow yourself too let it all out when you feel like it. I feel your pain you carried that baby and nobody besides yourself so nobody will feel that hurt in your heart the way that you do. I feel you i know what you are going through and you dont have too be strong and move on and forget about it because it is the hardest and saddest loss for a mother it hurts so bad that somedays you feel you can’t breath i know and too me it never gets better with time. Don’t let people’s actions and the way they treating the situation effect your way of grieving it was your loss and you did loose the most it was a part of you that has grown inside of you not them you don’t need to justify any emotion you allowed too feel sad you allowed too cry you allowed too and you don’t allow any body else too tell you other wise or too make you feel like you’re making a issue over nothing cause nobody knows your pain but you. In my heart i feel your pain i got you i know what its like and i feel that ache in your heart i pray that the Almighty makes it easier upon you may he put contentment in your heart with tears in my eyes you are a great mother and im sure you would’ve been the best mom too that Angel whom is watching down on you from above do know that now you’ve got a Angel awaiting you by the doors of heaven and that he was chosen and that god knows best and don’t forget that your Angel will be watching over you untill the day he/she meets you in heaven. May god be with you always. Strongs
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God bless you. Everyone grieves differently, reach out for support to a professional. So so sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss.
As mothers it hits us a lot harder than anyone else, we carried that baby we made that deep connection they didn’t. I lost my son from a birth defect years ago and me and my husband at the time grieved differently. For me it was months of locking myself away, no sleep, crying all the time and not eating. With him it seemed like a few days later he was fine. Everyone in my family left me alone because no one else had dealt with a loss of a child before and I feel like they just didn’t know what to do or say. But for me that came off as them not caring or being supportive. No one ever really talked about and it was like everyone moved on and I couldn’t. My ex husband and I’s relationship was rocky before my pregnancy so I got a lot of “things happen for a reason” or “this was a blessing in disguise”. Needless to say the lack of sympathy from him, me lashing out at him for not being there for me and our past issues led to divorce. Try to not feel resentful towards others as hard as it is and just express how your feeling and just let them know what you need. I wish I would of been more vocal in my needs instead of trying to figure it out on my own, that hurt me in the long run. You’ll never forget, but it does get better with time. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time.
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I Am A Mother To An Angel This was such a helpful page when I lost my son. I’m so very sorry for your loss Mama and your feelings are completely valid. If you ever need to talk, feel free to inbox me 
You have lost a child you need time to mourn and need yur family to support you
You’re justified! So sorry for your loss.
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So sorry maybe some professional counseling for Abit. It will get easier
I’m so sorry for your loss. You are absolutely justified in the way you feel.
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I am so so sorrth are,going thru this
I would be upset with their actions too. That’s heartbreaking no matter if its your 1st of 20th child. I am praying for healing for your soul. Just take it one day at a time momma.
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Your feelings are very very valid. I am so sorry you are suffering this most complicated loss of a child. My first baby was stillborn 32 years ago. At the time I couldn’t imagine ever feeling normal again. I felt guilty the first time I smiled, first time I laughed. I simultaneously wanted to be years in the future to escape the pain…while also dreading each day that passed as each moment pushed me further and further away from the only chance I had to hold her, to examine her, to choose her only outfit to wear. People around you don’t understand, they can’t know what you are going through. They saw you pregnant, now you’re not pregnant. You felt your baby’s life inside of you, then you delivered and held and poured your love over your lifeless child. It is deeply painfully real for you. Other people want you to feel better so they say something, usually the wrong thing or something that makes themself feel better…or they say nothing for fear of saying the wrong thing and upsetting you. It’s a terrible thing on both sides. The normal customs that people turn to, to deal with death, go out the window when it’s a stillbirth. It’s all backwards for the death date to be before the birth date…a cruel twist I still struggle over. Each year I think oh, this is the day she died and then comes the day she was born. It is a very painful, real, but largely invisible loss for others. My heart is with you. Time will bring comfort, your heart won’t always feel like it’s physically breaking, and you’ll gain perspective and wisdom. I didn’t want anything positive to come out of my daughter’s death, nothing was worth the trade off of not having my baby. But, it’s a situation that can’t be changed. I internally fought with all of this for a long time before coming to peace with it, to acceptance. It took a long time. You will likely always mark your life now as “before and after” your baby died. I do. Ask your closest friends and your family to help you. You may have to spell out what you need, and what you need may go all over the map. Grief is intense and unpredictable. Let people know that too. It helped me to read books about loss and to talk to other people in the same boat as me. I went to a support group for a year or two. I’ve been in therapy over this (and other hard things in life) for many years, up to the present. I’ll keep you in my prayers💔
A caring person,Diana of cocoa