Do your husband a favor and leave him. You don’t want your family ruined. But you already ruined it by cheating. 
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Your obviously not sorry if you still have your mouth round his cock! If your sex drive has got higher buy a vibrator or a dildo! Cheating is a no go for me! Imagine how you would feel if he done that to you!
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Whatever the issue is i would leave if i were you. I wouldn’t be able to live with that and look in his eyes anymore.
I feel like you should have talked to your husband first off. You have to think of how you’d feel if it was the other way round and he did this to you. I dunno if you want to tell him he will be hurt and angry or move on either way I’m.not here to judge you like alot of the others on here. Maybe seek marriage counselling xx
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Should’ve snagged him on tinder! What if he gets pissed off because you end it and he gives your husband a call?!?!!!
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I’m not going to be like the rest… what you did was wrong yes of course but there is ways to fix it. I’m sorry you’re reading hundreds of comments saying you’re a terrible person. I’m sure you’re not you just made some
Bad choices. Reflect on what is important to you and seek guidance from someone you trust not strangers on the internet. Sending love and I hope you make it through whatever you choose.
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You need to leave. Cheating is never ok EVER!! A little communication goes a long way and may have been able to save your marriage… too late now just my opinion
I have been cheated on,and i found out,and I cant look at him anymore like before. Love is gone unfortunately, of course not in one day. That happened slowly. And whatever he does or says ,it doesnt matter,trust is broken .
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You need to tell him before someone else does
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Do your husband a favor and let him go. You say you don’t want to ruin your family but you already have by sleeping with another man. You should have never even entertained that thought if you were a loyal wife. Get a divorce so you’re not hurting your husband by being an adulterer.
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I would get counseling. Telling your husband is probably going to destroy your marriage either that our your guilt will eat u alive. I would stop talking to the other guy and forgive your self and I know I’m going to get hate from saying this but I wouldn’t tell your husband. I know it’s not the right thing to do but telling your husband will open all sorts of pain. What good is it going to do by telling him. Tell the other guy to back off and that u don’t want to do more damage.
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Also give him a free pass
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Have you thought about how you’ll recover from this decision in the long run? Emotionally take yourself down that road… hubby finds out whether you tell him or he finds out another way… he decides to leave… family torn apart. How does it feel to see him go? What about kids? Who gets custody? Will the kids have emotional distress? Will you have a home and financial stability? Who is your support system? Who is your best friend? How do you feel now? Did you hurt yourself and your children more than you hurt your hubby? He may recover. What about you? Can you live with this decision in the long run? Choices come with consequences and we aren’t exempt from those consequences. Make damn sure you can live with the choices you make. Choose wisely!
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Why would you tell him? Telling him to make yourself feel better? Crushing him because you are feeling guilty? I personally wouldn’t want to know. Take it to your grave. You need to decide what you want. If you are remorseful, good! It’s because you love him. If you love him why hurt him. You need to take it to the grave with this secret and forget it even happened if you want to save what you have. Tell the other man you are done. Don’t hurt your husband to make you feel better that is even more selfish. If you can’t fix the marriage then do the divorce but still never tell him. I would not want to know. People make mistakes and this one you will have to live with. You will be fine.DO NOT TELL HIM! He loves you so he will forgive you but it will be so hard.
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Leave. Your minds already left the relationship, just need to walk your body through the door too. I was a cheat and have been cheated on, the things it does to the other person is horrible. You don’t have the right to hide it and you need to be honest.
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Wow. The only thing I can say is that you need to decide on a man. You can’t string them both along. Your husband isn’t going to go want to share you. I think that you’re selling yourself short by seeing this other guy. He hasn’t offered what your husband has. Stability, a home, companionship. There’s more to life than sex.
If you cheated on him then it’s clear you don’t love him, spare him so he can find someone better.
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I am sorry. I do not believe that there is any excuse for cheating. If you are not happy either talk to your husband or leave him. He does not deserve that at all. I do not think you are a bad person but what you are doing is wrong. How would you feel if it was the other way around? You need to talk to him. Even if you did/do end it with the other man you
have to tell your husband the truth. It may cost you your marriage but that is on you and that is something you should have thought about before you did what you did.
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Regardless of depression it’s not a excuse to cheat, and instead of feeling like your husband doesn’t care to please you you should’ve actually addressed this to him, unfortunately you’ve already ruined your family day you decided to have the affair 
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Sometimes, I like to not look at my perspective and try to think, how would the other person feel, what would be going threw their head. Then think how I would feel if it happened to me. You know him, you know his reactions, maybe he became insecure when you lost weight. Look at the whole situation, take a deep breath and think what the best option is for everyone else
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You need to tell your husband. It’s up to him to decide if he wants to salvage what’s left but you’d need to cut complete contact with the man you’re having an affair with.
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True love doesn’t cheat. And he doesn’t deserve to be cheated on. Leave him and at least tell him you don’t love him anymore but you enjoyed your time together
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I feel so honored to be in the presence of SO many perfect people 
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Tell him, honesty always wins, truth always comes out. Yes it will hurt both of you but it will hurt worse later down the road. Honesty is mine and my husbands #1 when it comes to our relationship
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All the do Gooders on here is hilarious. No one knows the background to the marriage we only have very brief details in this post.
Really you need to decide what you want . Do you want your husband or not. If you do and you feel you need to tell him then that’s what you need to do. Some relationships survive these things some don’t. It’s a risk you take however if you don’t want to be in your marriage then you need to walk away now . Maybe speak to a professional to clear your mind before you decide what to do
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You need to tell your husband. It’s better to hear first hand than to find out from someone else or to come across it. You have to make a choice though. If you continue to talk to the guy you had an affair with, your husband may not want to give you another chance because you’re still toeing that line
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My advice is to see a psychiatrist because hyper sexual behavior can sometimes align with mood disorders and such. Maybe it would help explain you to you a little more and give you the tools to not make decisions that you clearly don’t want to be making.
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Easy for people to sit on their pedestal and judge. You know yourself it’s not right to have an affair and although mental illness isn’t an excuse, it does play a huge part. You clearly aren’t happy in your marriage, as you either call it quits with your husband, or try work it out. Though he may not want to now. Some people just absolutely cannot forgive an affair m. But you need to tell him about the affair otherwise you’re living a lie and it isn’t fair on your husband. You need an honest conversation to start with and go from there.
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You can’t use depression and an increased sex drive as an excuse. The same way you can’t blame your husband by saying he doesn’t want to please you. Perhaps your depression thinks he doesn’t want to please you and you’ve just effed up your family for no reason.
Tell him, he has the right to know.
This guy is everything that your husband is not. I say stop talking to him outside of work period. Tell your husband your needs and try to keep your underwear on. Say nothing or divorce him and stay with this work guy. Good luck 
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If you were content and happy in the first place, you likely wouldn’t have sought comfort elsewhere. So you really need to take a deep, hard look at your life, and make some tough decisions.
Is this man worth losing your family life over?
Don’t stay with any man for kids.
They’re not stupid. They know when we’re unhappy.
You need to do what’s best for you and make a plan.
You only live once. May as well make it count.
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There is no good reason to cheat…ever, but clearly you are not happy in your current relationship. I’d tell your husband the truth and let HIM decide whether to continue this relationship or not. I’d cut all ties with this man at work, if anything find a new job if that helps. You have a lot of soul searching to do and therapy probably wouldn’t hurt either.
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Honesty is the best thing
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The grass is not always greener on the other side. You built something with your husband. Is it worth starting over? Breaking your family apart?
Never ever cheat. That pain is unbearable
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Is it possible to change jobs delete the mans number and try couple councilling. Shower your husband with love. First speak to councillor on how approch this topic with your husband. I have been on both sides of this coin. Your family is all you need to be concerned about now. Will keep you in prayer. Ask the Lord to forgive you abd stay clear away from that man dont even talk to him he will gwt the message
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Over a year ago I was in a bad place in my marriage. I to lost weight. But our marriage just kinda seemed to die. He was always on video games we stopped talking I sat alone alot. I started talking to an ex from years ago. Eventually he found out. He realized and finally saw what our marriage was becoming and we had to ask ourselves if our marriage was something we still wanted or to go our separate ways. I didn’t sleep with the guy but still. I decided my marriage was worth saving.
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did you have depression before you met and/or married your husband? how long has the affair been going on, sounds like a one time thing and you had guilt so you stopped? IF that’s the case, its simple infatuation. Stay away from the man at work. Stop all communication until you can speak to him as a co-employee only…[bad idea getting involved with ppl you work with because as you see, when its over you still have to deal with them. do you love your husband?..do you feel counseling may help? I agree with [Lisa Gravelle], do NOT stay because of the kids, they and you will regret THAT sooner than you think. IF you can STOP all contact with the affair man and you want to stay with your husband, then drop it, shut up, go home and never speak of it again. I see this happening with a different man in time though. Cheat once, you’ll cheat again. You were looking for something when you had the affair and until you find it you will continue to cheat. You already have your answer of what you need to do…look inside your heart. Be brutally honest with yourself. No matter what you do someone is gonna be angry, someone is gonna get hurt.
This should not be on f/b private matter
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you need to tell ur husband first. then I would Leave. what you did was wrong. and there is no good reason to cheat. I will say though once a cheater always a cheater sorry.
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This is coming from someone who’s mother had an affair and ruined her whole life! Please come clean!!
Just because he’s giving you something that your husband isn’t doesn’t mean the grass is greener!
My mum learnt the hard way… she had an affair for 3 years told everyone I was lying… this man was giving my mum the attention that she never got from my dad… she eventually left my dad as the other man gave her an ultimatum, within 6 months of her leaving she was living with me as this man wasn’t the person she thought he was! Once he had her he started controlling her, basically stalking her and stopped making the effort, luckily she’s managed to get her life back, her and my dad get on as friends now to!
So please just think what you’re doing!!! X
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I did the exact same thing 8 years ago badly depressed my relationship was non existent he was sleeping on the couch we only change words when we had to with 2 children,a guy gave me some attention at a function I went to and I took the bait! Best thing I ever did was come clean straight away as the guilt was eating at me. I told my partner he needed to leave as I would not have forgiven him if he had done this he decided to stay and do some councilling and we started to get on the right track. Just be honest and if your feelings don’t go away from this (lover) then maybe you need to leave your husband, goodluck with whatever you decide to chose xxx your not a bad person we all make mistakes it took me a long time to forgive myself but I got there
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If you don’t plan on leaving then STOP. You aren’t doing yourself any favors if you are unhappy in your marriage but you plan on staying. You are complicating it more and making yourself more unhappy. Stay or leave. You can’t have both and also be happy
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First off, if you truly wanted to end things with him you wouldn’t find it hard to stop talking to him… second, if you really didn’t want this to ruin your family you would have never stepped out of your marriage… third, you say you “feel” your husband doesn’t care to please you, but you are going off assumptions you have and instead of talking to your husband about these things you stepped outside of your marriage and to another man. What’s sad is what if your husband is going through something within himself that makes him feel a certain way and in return it makes you feel like he doesn’t want you sexually? (It’s just a theory, calm down people) had you went to your husband about these things like you should have to begin with, maybe gotten some therapy or counseling or whatever it would have taken to get you both through it all instead of taken it upon yourself to assume the way your husband has been feeling towards you, you wouldn’t be in the disaster you created… you have created a mountain out of a molehill, and now you fade possibly losing your husband and breaking up your family because you chose to be selfish when it came to your own wants needs and satisfaction.
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Honestly you need to talk to your husband.
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Divorce your husband he deserves much better.
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Leave your husband… You obviously aren’t happy otherwise you wouldn’t of cheated
If you stay the guilt will eat at you and you’ll be living in fear of him finding out… Just because you married a man and loved him once dosent mean you have to stay married forever… I was with my kids father for many years I wasn’t happy I cheated, I confessed I tired to make it work but he made me pay for 2yrs solid so eventually I left him… My only regret in life is that I didn’t do it sooner it was hard at the start but 12yrs on I know I made the right choice… I’d never of had the opportunity to blossom into the woman I am today
Good luck 
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You’ve already ruined it by having an affair!!!
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you need to leave. just because you’re still together doesn’t mean your family isn’t already ruined. now is the time to make a plan and leave, you all deserve happiness and it definitely seems like everyone involved would be happier if you broke up. you cheated because you weren’t happy, we are in charge of our happiness, not our partners or children. but ourselves. leave.
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You need to tell your husband the truth so you can both figure out what happens now.
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First of all you need to be honest! Your husband deserves the truth…
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Being cheated on sucks!! It ruins every fiber of a being! 
But if you really want your marriage to work and you are truely sorry then you find a way to move past what you did and get yourself some help to gain some self love!
Why tell him you had an affair? That’s only going to hurt him and ruin any trust he has for you and your marriage!
I get there are two sides to every story…but trust is so hard to regain in a relationship.
Good luck with whatever you choose to do.
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Come clean with your husband he has the right to know, what if you got some std and gave it to him. Also divorce your husband he deserves someone better.
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If my partner cheated on me, I would want to know the truth. Your man deserves the same. I’m sure it’s hard and scary however if he decides he wants to stay, the journey to gaining trust is not impossible but very difficult. whatever the consequences- I’m sure you know it won’t be easy.
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Always psses me off when people call affairs mistakes. They aren’t mistakes. They are choices. To call it a mistake is to minimise or defer accountability. Own your sht
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Self control. Nobody can help you with this but yourself. All we can do is have opinions and lots of ppl will pass judgment. You need to have this conversation with your husband because he deserves that.
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Stop being a concubine. Its that simple. You already ruined your family with your selfish acts.
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Despise cheating, its so selfish and destroys its victims
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Speak to your husband , you made the choice to go behind his back now you need to be upfront and honest and go from there. In all honesty you have already left him.
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You knew what you were doing when you were calling it a mistake it’s not a mistake you should be ashamed of yourself you are a married woman that’s adultery that’s a sin
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Tell your husband, it will hurt yes, but you’re honest. Shouldn’t cheat if you love him.
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Sounds like you want your cake and ice cream too. You had an affair, you say your sorry and want your family, but can’t seem to quit talking to him 
. If you were really sorry or wanted your family , you’d have ran to him came clean and never looked back. Instead it sounds like you don’t want to let go, but don’t want to loose your family. YOU CANT HAVE IT BOTH WAYS ! Your husband deserves to know and choose his path now.
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Sorry but you need to come clean with your family
As well as your “bit on the side’s” family
You both have cheated on your spouse’s
You should have left your spouse long ago
You have potentially destroyed 2 families
Sorry
I got no sympathy for you
You made your bed
Now lie in it
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AGAINST ALL OTHER OPINIONS, this is going to be unpopular advice.
There is no innocent side in affairs - especially if it is out of your character to do it. This is dance of two people: you and your husband. Not only you are one who cheated but also neglect of the relationship of your husband. Do not feel bad… Maybe it’s time to look at your marriage with new perspective. If you are not happy with your husband then sometimes is better to move away. It is also healthier to your family and kids as well.
I suggest starting a therapy and find root of your depression. The affair is just a consequence of your unhappiness on your current life path. Part of you looking way out of the cause of your depression, something that is out of your normal environment.
Feeling guilty of stepping out of your normal routine over having the affair and not being able to stop is signs that you are looking massive changes. Many relationships and marriages survive the infertility and find the root cause of unhappiness in their path. You must be willing to let go of your husband and current environment to get out of the depression.
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Start by talking to your husband. While you absolutely have the right to do what you want in life, so does he and he should be making a decision for himself here too. You don’t get to decide anything for him.
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Forgive yourself and make your husband love you, be there for him make him care make him worth it if you don’t tell him he can’t and won’t hate you get another job stick with the girls for someone to talk to
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I have zero respect for people who cheat. Relationships can get into ruts. Have you ever asked your husband about his lack of pleasing you. Does he know he doesn’t please you or do you pretend you’re satisfied and fake it ? If you do that’s not his fault.
If you haven’t COMMUNICATED like an adult then that’s not his fault.
I am especially bothered by this cuz your husband loved you and was there with you when you were bigger. And now you lose weight and now other people want what your husband loved the whole time. That’s beyond messed up.
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You’ve already ruined your family. You cheated. Accept the consequences and move on.
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Be honest with your husband and go into counselling.
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If you’re not happy, leave! It’s honestly that simple. Your husband deserves to know the truth and he deserves to be with someone that’s going to be faithful to him no matter. Your depression has nothing to do with stepping outside your marriage! Don’t use it as an excuse! You have possibly ruined another marriage / relationship other then yours and that’s just wrong. You owe it to your husband to come clean. Sex isn’t all there is in a relationship. He loved your thru thick and thin…can you say the same thing? He deserves the truth and he deserves someone that’s faithful and not thinking about someone else or sleeping with someone else.
You are making decisions for your husband that aren’t yours to make. You have decided that he should live with lies and deceit.
If you wanted to be with someone else, you needed to leave first.
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I would suggest a therapist for yourself. And if you want your marriage to work, just stop. Sorry but I’ve been there. Once I found out he was married, I turned into a real b
Mistake? You’re a adult. You know right from wrong. And the excuse you were depressed or your husband doesn’t show you attention is a cop out. You are making excuses for your selfish behavior. Take responsibility instead of placing blame on everything but you.
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Communication! Clearly hubby isn’t meeting your needs. Talk to him…Seek therapy maybe? I would leave before cheating. I have been cheated on and it sucks and nothing can ever be the same again.
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Leave you ungrateful bitch you have already ruined you family . It all your fault nobody made you cheat . I have no sympathy someone like you . Instead of being honorable and just leave you cheated man or woman that cheat there is no excuse
You don’t want to ruin your family? You already have by having an affair. YOU chose to do that. I really hope you told your husband if not how can u look him in the eyes 
I wonder did he stick by you through your depression? You say your sex drive slowed a bit maybe that’s why your husbands sex drive has slowed and now all of a sudden you loose weight yours gets better and u go else where. Where is your husbands support? Maybe he is depressed now.
Your marriage is not your priority. Tell your husband if you loved him you wouldn’t have cheated on him. Once you cheated on him he will never be able to trust you.
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First I would suggest a therapist to help you get through the depression, then once you start the depression therapy I would suggest doing a family therapy with your husband to let him know. It would be better with a third party to mitigate so the fight that will start doesn’t go into a violent one. After that session I’d do e both you and your husband can decide if it’s worth staying in the marriage but my opinion for that is you have already left the marriage now it’s time to care for yourself and also get out of seeing the other man he doesn’t really love you.
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Marriage counseling or you go to consoling
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You don’t deserve to be married 
if you were truly sorry, you’d stop. Tell your husband and deal with the consequences.
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I don’t give advice to cheaters 
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You lost his respect , trust, and faith when you started talking to this other person. You are weak cuz you seen an easy way out.
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Be honest with him. You’re an adult! You know right from wrong and he doesn’t deserve to be lied to. That’s not right
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Grow up and tell him the truth. Either sort it out together or leave. Stop hiding to make yourself feel better. If you actually felt bad you wouldn’t still be talking to him. You are enjoying the attention. So you need to tell the truth. You cheated. This is you trying to feel better. You don’t deserve too. You should feel bad. And if you don’t then you need to leave him because he deserves better.
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Hope he kicks you out. If roles were reversed the woman would take everything.
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I think sometimes this page posts stuff just to stir the pot. Ok first off if you really loved your husband you would NOT have cheated on him ! So basically you don’t deserve to be with your husband. When are you women gonna grow up and realize the grass ain’t greener on the other side , it’s greener where you water and take care of it
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Idk if u want to stay married u have to stop talking to the other guy. If u are un happy in marriage well it takes two I didn’t realize till after I left my marriage what I did wrong. My ex cheated on me. And cheating is never ok. But I don’t think u should tell him. Stop w other guy work on ur marriage. Give it all u got. If it doesn’t work walk away it will be better for everyone
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You are self absorbed and a cheater ! No advice from me!
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You already ruined your family
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You cheated. Theirs nothing left to say
You could have divorced him and you didn’t. You took the Cowards way out. Now he will spend the rest of his life wondering what he did wrong. Because you made a choice. Not a mistake. Cheating is a choice!
You’ve already ruined you’re family.
There’s no nice way to put this.
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I was in a marriage with an addict. I tried for years to get him help. Went to counseling with him a handful of times (I got there before him one day and the counselor basically told me to run ). I went to a support group for family members of addicts. Started doing volunteer work at local rehabs talking to other families about addiction. Looked up rehabs in the area that my insurance covered (my husband was on my insurance). All that and his addiction kept getting worse.
We went 2 years without sex. I tried. Every trick in the book. Even candles lingerie music. The whole thing. He denied me every time and was actually mad at me putting in the effort saying I made him feel like the bad guy for turning me down.
An ex of mine happened to reach out to me during this time. The talking started innocent. But it didn’t stay that way for long. He lived out of town and I ended up lying to my husband and taking a weekend away to go see my ex. Yes, I did sleep with him and cheated on my husband.
When I was heading back home I made the decision to end our marriage. Not because I cheated. But because I didn’t feel 1 ounce of remorse. I realized I felt dead inside for years and I was trying to save a marriage that was already gone.
I left my husband shortly after and never told him what happened. I still to this day have no idea if he knows.
My advice, the fact that you got this far should already tell you your answer. If you did it once, felt bad enough to stop, told your husband, and tried to work through it, that’s different. When you kinda feel bad but not bad enough to stop, that’s your answer. You need to end this. Now all you’re doing is creating more hurt and pain.
Good luck. It’s not easy to change your life so drastically but I’ve been 10000% happier since I left that marriage. I should have ended it long before that event ever happened
Go to counseling. you know it was wrong( or this post wouldn’t exist). It really sucks to be cheated on think about his perspective. Leave your old man. For his sake
You didn’t make a mistake you made a a conscious choice to cheat on your husband. When you call it a mistake you’re trying to downplay it. You obviously don’t feel too bad about it if you’re continuing contact with your affair partner.
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Disgusting. Tell your husband! If this was the other way around……
So is cheating good no obviously not but I’m a firm believer none of us are perfect and we shouldn’t judge the next. I don’t agree with cheating but I do understand it bc I have been the other side of the affair. I personally haven’t cheated since I was an adult. I’m not sure how old ur kids are or anything obviously. But in my opinion ur relationship was lacking something u found it elsewhere. I’d leave your husband. Yes there will be pain yes it will suck but no one should live in limbo. I’ve been with my bf two years and yea he was the one that had the affair and yes I told him to leave. He knew he’d have issues seeing his kids. His wife and him grew apart. People will bash me and trust me I’ve heard it all. I left my husband months before we started even talking but my husband made me out to have the affair. Personally stop worrying about the Karens. No one has the right to judge u. Bc no one is perfect. What makes one thing worse then the next? Is letting people tell us this stuff. If you want to talk you can always pm me I have no issue talking to you without judgement.
This will not be easy! But if you want a chance to show your kids happiness is achievable. That people screw up and do things but forgiveness is better than being bitter and hateful then tell your husband you need to the the relationship. Try to do it amicable for the kids.
Wow, what are we meant to give advice on?? You’ve cheated, you’ve lied, and now YOU feel terrible, although you’re still talking to the guy you cheated with…
Don’t know what you came here for, but I have no advice over than, leave your husband, he deserves alot better than that, 14 years with someone and you do him dirty like that. What kind of woman are you, you’ve already broke your family the moment you let another man’s junk near you.
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If you continue to be with this man, you need to get divorced. If you want to make your marriage work- go to counseling.
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I dont want my Family ruined by this she says you prob should of asked first lol there’s nothing better then your mate finding out they weren’t invited to the party your having.
Enjoying sex and wanting to feel desired is a big deal. Tell your husband what you want…
Also, if your husband is that interested in you anymore, he could also be having an affair. Just a thought.
You owe your husband honesty and truth. Im not here to bash I learned my lesson of cheating when i was very young and how much i hurt and devastated the person i truly loved. I lost him. I promised from that day on I would never cheat again and if I ever felt thay way i owed the person i was with the truth and respect to end it before. I really think being honest is your best bet or it will eat you alive. Also the truth ALWAYS comes out.
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