If you felt this way you should of left your husband before jumping into bed with another man. You have ruined your family and what for a few minutes of meanless quickies.
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I’m not going to lie, you messed up. But now it’s time to face the music. You need to tell your husband and IF the two of you decide to stay together you need to find a new job and delete the guys number and change phone numbers so he doesn’t have your number. The two of you need to seek counseling. If you decide not to work things out then I guess you can see what happens with this other guy. Either way, you need to talk to your husband.
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Honestly
I’d say come clean to your husband asap because he deserves to knows. Communication in any relationship is really key to anything. Tell your husband how you don’t feel he meets your needs maybe you guys can work it out. Just remember he will probably be very hurt and upset that you had an affair so give him some time and space.
I hope everything goes well
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Nope. You’re on your own. You made your bed now you get to lie in it. If you weren’t happy and you truly believed your marriage couldn’t be salvaged - then leave. Don’t cheat. Even wild animals don’t foul their own nest.
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Tell your husband you want an open marriage. Problem solved. Lmao tell your husband how you feel and come up with ways to spice up your relationship. A marriage is something you always need to work on, it’s not something that’s just there
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Well you definitely didn’t put your husband 1st. How do you expect him to do the same? Wrong yes but if you truly love tour husband dont tell him! This is your misery to bare not his. Stop stop stop. U just stop. Quit ur job or whatever u need to do to get away from this man. Your husband doesn’t deserve the pain that cheating causes when it comes out. Just stop. Telling him will relieve your guilt not fix it. If your gonna continue u need to ask for a divorce but still don’t tell him. Been on both ends.
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Work with your individual therapy to resolve your control and codependency issues, and pack your shit. Your family deserves someone who loves and respects them. Certainly not…you.
I would say for you to grow up. Talk to your husband, go to counselling, when you cheat you get them, and you will loose them the same way.
My mom did that. Tore our whole family apart because she couldn’t stop. She left her kids over 10 years ago to be with him, And her life has been chaos since. Choose what matters most. Because you don’t get a redo
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Sorry Miss, if he isn’t a Forgiving Person, You already end it When You first Day Cheated
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You made your bed… now lie in it
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Not gonna lie, what you did was wrong. But the fact that your acknowledging the mistake means you’re sorry it happened. I won’t say tell your husband, but I would say get another job, stop talking with this guy and focus on your marriage.
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How about you just stop. If you really wanted to, you would 
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Do your husband a favor and leave him.
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Sorry but you choose to cheat on your husband. Really no forgiveness for that. Best to ask your husband for a divorce and try and move forward with the guy you had the affair with. Or a new partner. But your husband deserve better than what your doing to him.
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You already ruined your family the moment you went outside of your marriage, and are continuing. Spare your kids the fighting that’s about to come, he will never trust you again and may even give you a taste of your own medicine…
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Your husband deserves the truth. Give him a chance to decide if he wants to stay or not. In reality, it would have been better to decide to leave than to have an affair.
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U need to be 100% honest with ur husband NOW and deal with whatever comes because YOU chose to step out. That’s it.
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Honestly you did something messed up. A lot of people do when they are depressed and feel like they aren’t being seen or heard in their marriage. It’s not an excuse but I understand. First you need to reflect on why you can’t/won’t stop talking to the work friend you cheated with that’s probably a sign that you’ve completely check out of your marriage. If that’s the case you need to sit down your husband and tell him that you need a separation or divorce. If that’s not the case you need to drop your work friend for good like cut contact and make it clear what you had is over. It’s up to you to tell your husband about the affair. If you don’t you’ll always be on edge worrying about if your affair partner will tell him or if he will find out on his own so it’s better to be honest and even tell him why you did it. Regardless you need or seek counseling personally and if you want to stay with your husband you should suggest couples counseling as well.
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Did he or does he step out on you?
This is the first thing. If so, was he honest?
Grass always looks greener on the other side…water your yard.
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Come clean and go from there.
If you wanna keep your family cut all ties with the fling and sit down with hubs and tell hubs your feelings. Your needs needs to be met too.
Honestly I’m surprised and kind of proud that there are still a few women who acknowledged she was wrong for what she did but didn’t shame a belittle her and actually tried to give solid advice it doesn’t happen often on here and it’s just nice to see
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When my sex life slowed down with my ex I found out he was cheating so I left .
Are you sure you’re husbands not cheating? I’m not saying he is or he’s not I’m just asking.
Maybe you should leave .
Cheating is 100 percent wrong. I think he needs to know thats a terrible secret to have on your shoulders it will eat you alive inside… Then you both should go from there .
Ok so obviously everyone has an opinion on this and here’s mine. You made a mistake yes but you should think about the real reason you had the affair. You also need to think about if your marriage is something you want to salvage. I myself made the same mistake I eventually told my s/o and we split up for a while. Then we started talking again and we got back together and things have been great ever since. Its been 6 yrs and we love each other more than anything
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Tell him and then he has a choice to work it out or say goodbye honesty’s the answer !
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Either end the affair or end the marriage. Focus on WHY you did it, and tell your husband. If he loves you he’ll forgive you and make up for where he is lacking. This isn’t all on you. People don’t cheat for no reason. Ignore the bitter people in these comments too. Some people are so close minded and full of cognitive dissonance they think someone having an affair automatically makes them a bad person or unforgivable which is far from the truth
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Have you and your husband tried couples therapy? 14 years is a long time. People get comfortable, they change, they get bored, etc. relationships are work. The coworker made you feel good emotionally and that turned into physical. I get that it’s exciting and makes you feel good but look
At what you’ve built with your husband, what this will do to him and your family. Do you want a divorce?
If you still want to be married then you have to cut things off completely- you can’t be friends. If you can’t do that then you need to leave your husband.
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Nobody else can tell you what to do. First, come clean with your husband, he at least deserves that much. Then, you may not have a choice on what to do, he may just leave you. Maybe he will forgive you but if you were happy in your marriage, it would’ve never happened and if you were truly sorry, you wouldn’t still be talking to the guy.
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I have been in a similar position but my partner was talking to girls before I slept with someone. I was hurting and he knew I knew and didn’t stop. Nearly a year went past and even though he did me wrong first I still felt the guilt and just came out with it one day. We’re still working on things but it’s still abit rocky. Just talk to him tell him how you feel.
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Tell me why you’re trying to justify your actions?! My god you’re actual trash. Leave your husband, he probably hasn’t been happy in 14 years.
quit and dont say nothing
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Just stop. End one thing before you begin another. Be fair to your spouse
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You took a vow for better or worse. It’s time to face the consequences of your deceit, and tell your husband. Far as what you can do to stop, grow up and have some self control.
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Stop being a strumpet…
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On this page, you are going to get your fair share of other’s opinions. Just how it is.
You need to be honest with your husband. It’ll be worse if he finds out a different way… You also need to look within yourself and ask if you really want to be with your husband or if you are being selfish. Just like you want to be loved your husband deserves to be loved by someone who actually loves him. There’s something broken it’s up to y’all to either fix it or walk away.
In the future, cheating is never the answer to lack of intimacy. I hope you remember that and I hope Karma doesn’t bite you in the future. No one deserves to be cheated on. But I’m thinking you know that.
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Old saying once a cheater always a cheater " 
Come clean to your husband! He deserves to know the truth
Probably should have asked for advice BEFORE cheating. You have to tell your spouse the truth and you will have to suffer whatever consequences come from that. It’s likely you did exactly what you didn’t want to have happen. Start preparing.
First of all, tell your husband. He deserves that much .
Don’t be selfish.
Some of y’all are saying that it’s not all her fault and that people don’t cheat for no reason. Did you actually think about the repercussions of having an affair? Did you totally blindside your husband having an affair? Like you said he didn’t seem to “care”, but did you voice your opinions about your problems to him before having the affair?
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Take it to ya grave and fix things with your husband. Simple.
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Get a divorce. Find yourself. Then involve other people. End both. You have to work on yourself.
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You already ruined your family lol
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Choose one let the other go they don’t deserve it
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You ruined your family the moment you cheated, so don’t act innocent or that you ever had that idea in your mind. You’re just sad now that your consequences are coming to bite you in the ass.
Tell him. What happens from there will be HIS decision and you sit back. You have no rights to argue, choose, or debate. It will be whether HE wants to forgive you, whether HE wants to continue the marriage. You effed up. The worst you could. You cater to him now until it’s rectified or you split.
Fuck off with these excuses. 1) Your affair is NOT your husband’s fault. “My husband does not seem to want to please me.” That’s a bullshit attempt to make him responsible for you betraying him and your family.
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Not only have you not taken full and total responsibility for your betrayal, you are still cheating.
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You don’t get to live a consequence free life. You have already most likely destroyed your marriage. You may not want that consequence, but you brought it on yourself, and you are still doing it. Further, you have also jeopardized your family’s financial situation as you cannot be trusted to even go to work without cheating on your husband. Every time you leave the house you are a risk to cheat again. No marriage can survive that.
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I doubt counseling will help since every word of this is you not taking responsibility and justifying why you are still sleeping with another man. But that’s the only possible way through this.
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Really, you should just pack your bags, and let your husband have the kids in the house. You destroyed your home, and your kids should not suffer by having to leave. So get the hell out. Your husband will probably never trust you, and nothing here suggests he should.
Don’t tell your husband. It will ruin your marriage.
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my ex and i already had talked about seperating and possible divorce when my now partner came into the situation. my ex and i had a huge conversation that i was going to enter into a point of no return with this man if we were to go forward and he did…nothing.i understand the point of feeling like you are trapped, drowning, sufficating, dying inside even. a fling can help, but the changes you need are 1)with yourself, and 2) with your huband. you can either seek counceling and fix things or seperate. also this fling you are talking to, you need to decide to keep him around or not, otherwise its not fair to him to string him along where his true <3 could be somewhere else. i do understand where you are at! but now its decision and consequence time.
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If you didn’t want to ruin your family you wouldn’t have had an affair. If you wanted to fix things after 14 years, you don’t do it by sleeping with someone other than your husband. As if your sex drive was more important than your kids and husband. If you’re that unhappy LEAVE your husband.
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Tell your husband. You already ruined the family… Learn from it.
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Do your husband a favor and let him go . He deserves better
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I hate to tell you but you already ruined your family. Tell your husband and leave. Do it for your husband he doesn’t deserve that.
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If you don’t tell your husband this is going to haunt you forever. (Which it should) you need to tell your husband.
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Stop with the excuses. You chose the ruin your family and I hope your husband can move on in a positive way without you.
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I would tell him. Either it makes or breaks you. After 15 years, and your situation, maybe an open relatiomsbip is what you both need to come back home and love each other. I don’t beleive we need sex or even sex with our partner to have a happt relationship. Some relationships are friendships and it works that way. If yours is not one of those i would concider his reaction being the end of you relationship. But if you feep the love, just not in bed, then go for it ! If not, take what you did and live with it, on your own. With your side piece. And i say this in the most non judgemental way possible. You made your bed, now lay in it kinda situation.
Your family is already ruined… get a divorce. Even if you tell your husband, and if he forgave you it’s over, you will do it again if he doesn’t split. Be by yourself for awhile and not jump in the very next relationship. You at least owe him honestly
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All these people saying tell your husband… why ? Why desgroy the man ? You dump info on him to feel better only to make him feel worst… it is a mistake YOU have to live with. You can’t dump it onto someone else and say ‘not my problem anymore’.
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Your husband will try to forgive you but he won’t be able to get it out of his mind. He will NEVER be able to trust you or see you as the same person he fell in love with again. You will never be able to forget it and can’t fix your marriage unless you tell him. So your marriage is in a dilemma.
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You haven’t ruined your family. But you need to get into both individual and couples counseling.
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Sorry to say, what’s done is done.
My husband cheated on me and I left the bastard.
You did what you wanted to do. So you need to decide what you want to do next.
But talking to your husband wouldn’t hurt. Tell him how you feel. But be prepared, if he finds out about the affair he could leave
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If this were you writing about your hubby cheating everyone would be screaming to leave him. I think you need to tell him and I hope he leaves. No one deserves what you’re doing to him
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I get paid over $150+ per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 20489 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
You ruined your family the moment you laid down with another man. Do your husband a favor, and file for divorce.
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I would first: stop blaming your action and choice on your mental health (putting the blame somewhere else), take responsibility, tell your husband; be honest about why you cheated (in hopes, he’ll treat his next partner better), learn from your mistakes, heal & stay single, live a life with someone you can stay loyal to.
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You already ruined your marriage congrats 
. Now move on
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Unfortunately you already ruined your family. And you can list all the reasons why you did it but there is no excuse to cheat on your husband of 14 years. Tell your husband and let the man move on and find someone who deserves him .
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I’ve only been on the receiving end of an affair, but I’ve worked with other women who have cheated and it was always the right thing to come clean and give them the info needed to make an informed decision. From that perspective I can say - tell your husband what you’ve done and let him leave peacefully. He doesn’t deserve this kind of treatment. You already ruined your family - let him walk out with some dignity.
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Well you cheated. So you need to be honest and see what he wants to do. Cause I’d be getting a divorce if I was your husband. Sorry, not sorry
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Should have thought before you cheated & talked with your husband 1st about what was needed in your relationship & what you were lacking n tried to fix it. Cant have your cake and eat it too …You need to make a choice what you wanna do either be single or married cause a good faithful man is hard to find these … If you can stop with the other man do it …if NOT let your husband go he deserves better …you took those vows. And marriage isnt always easy but if you truly love someone you can make it wrk
Find a job where you have no contact with other guy. Lose his number. Find something to FIX your situation.
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You stepped out… keep fucking walking. Would you be understanding if he cheated?
if you’re unhappy enough to cheat then just leave.
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Your husband deserves to know and then have the choice to choose. How would you feel the situation reversed? Not to mention, how utterly disrespectful to continue talking to the guy. How much regret could you really have?
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End it and don’t hurt your husband with it. Just end it and repair your marriage, if you want to repair your marriage. Affairs don’t need to ruin a marriage. You are only human. If you want the marriage to last, work on it, go to therapy with him, find out what he needs too. However, if you want to be with this other man, leave the marriage as soon as possible. It just depends on how you feel and what you truly want. Some of these other comments are ridiculous. I’m assuming these people are without human need or flaw. We are all flawed humans with needs, wants, and mistakes.
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You are a slut plain and simple. Poor hubby 
You already ruined your family. Do them a favor and leave 
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I haven’t cheated but as one that has been cheated on, let your poor husband find someone who understands monogamy. You think you feel bad, imagine how he feels.
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You’re not the first person to step outside of their marriage and you won’t be the last. No reason exists to justify this behavior— so start there. Own YOUR mistake and ask yourself the hard question— do you still love your husband and is your relationship worth fighting for. If you are conflicted— there’s your answer. Look WITHIN first instead of looking at the ones you’re with. Zero reason for you to continue talking with this other man if you are truly remorseful of your actions. You wouldn’t even be putting yourself in the situation to be tempted. Learn to make yourself happy before you try expecting others to do it for you. Until you master that— no partner will ever be “enough” for you. 14 years is a long time— but longevity isn’t enough to save a marriage. There has to be love, honesty and committment… so far you’re lacking in two of those areas… it isn’t impossible to come back from this— but you need to ask yourself if you really truly and whole heartedly want to
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You could have left him before you cheated. No excuse for cheating… ever. Once trust is broken it can’t be fixed, it will always linger as a possibility in his mind now. Come clean and make as clean of a break as you can. You made a choice, now must face the consequences of said choice.
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I’d leave him alone. He deserves better. And not to say you’re a bad person but you broke your vows and betrayed him. Now let him go and heal himself.
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My husband did this to me. If you can’t seem to control yourself now, get away from your husband. You have no right to drag him down with you. You are creating a toxic family environment. You’re family deserves better then that.
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Your husband will find out. Its Best you confess now. Get all the information in order. You were selfish and have done something that will destroy your spouse. You took your husband’s choice from him. And now you need to return the choice to him.
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The only really thing you should do is tell your husband. This isn’t his fault so don’t try to make it seem like that like you did in this post. Based on what was wrote you didn’t talk to him about how you’re feeling or try to fix thing, you just found someone else. You obviously don’t want to end it or feel that guilty either because you’re still talking to him and emotionally cheating in your husband.
Regardless if you stay with your husband or not he deserves the truth.
Best case he’ll want marriage counseling and you’ll have created some trust issues in him you’ll have to be patient while he gets over.
Worse case he leaves you right then and there which good on him if he does. 
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To late. Marriage and family ruined. Just come clean or the guilt is going to be unbearable.
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Working with him will not end the relationship. Youll have to find a new job if you really want it over. So you better have a new job when you tell your husband that you want to work it out. Youve already ruined things, not that it cant be fixed ( kinda).
Please let your husband go, he deserves better.
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Leave your husband alone. Let him heal, he deserves better. It’s not to say I think you’re a horrible person, but he deserves to know & then to go find HIS happiness & someone who won’t cheat especially when YOU ARE STILL SPEAKING TO THIS MAN. You don’t have regret you like the attention… now come clean & let him find better while you go repair whatever it is that’s broken in you to do this to someone.
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YOU ALREADY RUINED YOUR FAMILY. Just because your husband doesn’t know doesn’t mean anything except that you are a bad person that is okay with lying to him. The only way to redeem yourself is to come clean to your husband. People will walk around with these secrets and the whole time think they’ve gotten away with it. Some people probably do get away with it but you not only diminish your integrity you will walk around for the rest of your life with this uncomfortable feeling you can’t quite put your finger on. That’s guilt and no matter how much you push that little secret to the side your heart and soul will never really be at peace. Your peace will be disturbed for the rest of your life whether you want to believe that or not. I could never cheat because I couldn’t live with myself knowing I hurt someone I love like that. It’s simple you should have left your husband to have your affair. You didn’t, now the only thing to make this right is telling the truth. The truth is the only thing that will set you free. Otherwise enough your life sentence of feeling guilty, worthless, pathetic, and disrupted.
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To hell is where you’re going
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Dont do it the grass is greener where you water it ive been through something similar and i would say dont do it . Go to your husband tell him what happened he deserves to know no matter what he decides to do with the info. Aldo if hes willing to yall should go to counciling . Now you need to find another job because you will never be able to stay away from that guy and even if you could o doubt your husband would trust you to stay there and work. Remember all relationships are amazing when they are new you felt this way with your husband im sure just get away from that man and that job and start working hard on marriage
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I disagree with the tell your husband part. Why make him miserable to help your guilt. You’ve already justified it in your head by saying hubby doesn’t care to please you. Start looking for a new job, switch shifts or departments. But don’t break your hubby’s heart with this mess.
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As someone who has only been on the other end of infidelity, I say tell your husband. If he leaves you, that’s his choice. You made the decision to put him and your family second. You chose someone else over him, regardless how brief you didn’t put your marriage first. Therefore, you have to accept whatever decision your husband makes. You never know, unlike you, he may choose your marriage, and want to work it out. Either way, you need to tell him what you did. What is done in the dark always comes to the light. It is better for him to hear this from you than someone else.
On a side note, STOP talking to this guy. You say you don’t want to ruin your family, but you did and are continuing to do so. If my husband continued to speak to the girl he had an affair with, I’d never work it out, I’d just leave and so should your husband. A mistake is one thing, yes it was a choice, but even chosen mistakes happen. However continuing the behavior is not a mistake, it is a conscious choice at that point. So either stop speaking to this man, or do your husband a favor and leave him. Let him go be happy and properly cared for somewhere else.
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You honestly have to do a self analysis.evaluation.
You need to decide if 14 years and any other benefits u gained through your marriage is worth giving up to be with a dude at work that u probably don’t know well enough.
Then if u decided u want to try n save your marriage. U have to realize trust is broken. Loyalty is broken.
U have to apologize n work extra just to earn trust back… Then u will realize u should have tried to to do some self control… That dude at work might not even care… The guy at work?Hes just giving u attention.
But the husband was paying bills… Probably too tired from work to want to have sex…
U were being selfish. But was it justified? Hmmmm
You messed it all up when you had an affair. Come clean and walk away.
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I have extreme depressions and anxiety… I’ll tell you what you do. You get yourself help! You don’t step out on your marriage! Your poor husband deserves better. Did you even talk with him? Did you tell him you felt like he wasn’t pleasing you? Maybe he thought you didn’t want it because of how you’ve been feeling and didn’t want to initiate it and upset you… You feel terrible but can’t seem to stop talking to this man? Girl, leave. Your family deserves better.
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U should seek counseling…
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Everyone telling her she broke her marriage… Well, who’s to say he hasn’t broken it himself? What made him do the things that made her turn her head? Had he already done to her what she’s done? I’m not saying two wrongs can make it right. But you are all so gung ho to tell her she’s the bad guy.
Unfortunately… The one thing these people are right about is that you should come clean. Sit down with your husband and put your cards on the table. It will either get fixed or it won’t. But nothing is going to get solved until both parties air their grievances so to speak. What will determine whether the marriage continues or not will be whether you both want to fight to fix what caused the unhappiness to begin with. And in the end you may not have a choice but to walk away. And if it doesn’t work…you learn from your mistakes in your next relationship.
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