Leave first, then date. You already ruined your family. Be honest, own up, and deal with the consequences.
First and foremost most, you need to decide weather it’s your family or the other man you want. Because you can’t have both. Then you need to tell your husband what you’ve done and give him the chance to intake all the feelings he’s about to be feeling and let him decide weather he even wants to work it out with you. Then if he chooses to stay and work on it, then get yourselves into counseling. Sounds like you both need it. And he will definitely need it after you own up to your crap!
Also, if he chooses to stay, you need to immediately cut contact with the other guy, find a new job, transfer to a new site or unit, stay away from him, block all forms of contact and make your husband feel slightly secure in a very messed up situation.
Prepare yourself for him to leave. Men can’t handle their women cheating like a woman can handle their man cheating.
Maybe work with your relationship with your husband. If you can’t be faithful leave. You don’t deserve a loyal man. Karma is a b word.
YOU already ruined your family. Do that man (husband)the respect of leaving him the fuck alone. You don’t deserve him if you’re gonna turn around a take another dick the second things get rough. Nasty.
Keep silent and leave boyfriend. No good will come of this. Family ruination!!!
In my opinion you can’t never go back after an affair, especially when you don’t come clean about it. My suggestion is to move on from your marriage. You cheated for a reason and shouldn’t spend your life unhappy. Just my opinion.
You both need to communicate with each other, good luck hope you both can sort this out.
Go to relate, and ask yourself why am I scared to ask for what I want?, maybe you don’t want to hurt his feelings, I bet he feels the same, and is just not as motivated as you feel. And if he don’t care enough to try or he isn’t, then just go to a swapping club
Sounds like someone I know very well.
My advice? Leave the husband. 1) you’re clearly unhappy enough to allow another person in. 2) he deserves a chance to find happiness outside of the marriage as well. 3) what’s done is done and cannot be undone. Quit making excuses and being selfish by allowing both relationships to continue while you play innocent.
I understand depression can cause people to self sabotage and do things they wouldn’t normally do, but I also know all too well you have to learn to accept the fact that this was still a choice no matter what factors played a role.
I have been where you are. If you love your husband, end it with the other man; while you can. Because if you don’t, things can get worst. Let your husband know how you feel. So being honest with him, will make it easier on you. Trust me, I know it’s not easy and it’s going be hard to let go. If you want to save your marriage, then that’s the best thing to do.
Looks like you already made your mind up but continuing to talk to the other man. You need to tell the man you are married to whats going on. And he will ultimately be the one to make the decision for you. You cheated on him-he has every right to know
Unpopular opinion time. You seem to really love your husband and family. But love doesn’t have to be confined. You are obviously unhappy in you marriage. Why not talk with your husband about an open relationship? While this isn’t for everyone, those that can open their mind enough and step out of the box they have developed in, than it definitely can work.
He deserves to know you cheated on him. You messed up your family.
DO YOUR HUSBAND A FAVOR AND LEAVE HIM!!!
My husband did this to me, lied about it. I called the girl. We havent ever been the same. The damage is done. Let him go. You wont EVER be the same. He wont be the same. That shit changes you…
If you move on you will find no matter who your with things will always get slow so what will you do next time you get bored cheat again if you stay with your husband when you get older you will have fond memories of the years you spent together
First of all tell your husband. It’s not ok to lie to someone you love. Think about it this way, how would you feel if your husband was having an affair and never told you. IF AFTER you tell your husband he wants to stay with you then you need to seek counseling. What you’re doing is not ok, not for any reason. You should’ve talked to your husband long before having an affair. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.
Leave your husband if you want to see someone else. It’s not fair to your husband
It is definitely wrong, but telling him only causes more problems and hurts him. But you need to stay away from this guy. And talk to your husband about your needs. Maybe he just hasn’t gotten the vibes . You are needing to feel cherished and the excitement that goes with an affair is powerful. Especially after years of being together. If you Love your husband…you need to make a choice. You say family…I am assuming that means there are kids. If you continue this and or confess you’re messing with their lives too. Believe me divorce does a whole lot of damage to the children as well. Marriage counseling can help if find the right one.
You should of left, cheating on your spouse is disgusting. Get divorced you don’t deserve your husband anymore.
As a woman who has been consistently cheated on her entire life, my advice is get a divorce and try being alone. Not sleeping with anyone, not dating anyone, not talking with anyone, nothing. Solitude. Think about what you want and what you have to provide and head back to the drawing board. Your feelings will never justify the hurt you just put on that man. I’d say shame on you but you obviously have no idea what that kind of pain feels like.
This is stupid that you are even entertaining this situation. The solution is simple. If you want the other man divorce your husband. If you live your husband be an adult and talk openly and honestly with him and work on your problems.
What in the jerry springer did I just read child!?!
You made the choice to cheat instead of communicating. You’ve made the choice to keep talking to the other guy. So you’ve made the decision to ruin your family all on your own and deserve to lie in the bed you’ve fuck*d in
Your husband needs to know what you’ve done BEFORE he hears it from someone else
END OF STORY
Telling your husband will ruin your family and relationship and hurt him so deeply. End the affair and talking to him immediately. Get another job we’re you don’t work with him. Pray pray pray to the Angel of relationships. Be sure your prayer is spoken as the angels can’t go thru your whole mind ti figure it out. Just try this!! You will be surprised that you can be helped this way, but you can. You have really no other choice to heal this within yourself.
You need to tell your husband and let him decide if he still wants to be with you.
You have broken your covenant with God and your Husband. You have invited Satan into your life to ruin everything you have. Lucifer is a robber a thief a murderer and a liar. My advice is fall on your knees before God and repent. And sever the adulterous relationship with the man you met. Prayers for you in Jesus Holy Name Amen
I’m not going to pretend that what you’re doing isn’t wrong, it is…. But you owe it to yourself to be happy too
You already ruined it. You need to woman up and tell your husband.
my Strick POLICY never date a co-worker never ends well
If you are going to continue on with this affair you must absolutely tell your husband and/or leave. Sometimes the grass seems greener, but that’s not always the case
Men can be daft, and your husband may just have no clue. You could talk to him, or plan a time to wow his socks off if you know what I mean. Give your marriage a chance, ppl grow and change but you can grow together.
Your first mistake was “feeling like” he feels a certain way instead of communicating and actually asking him. Now you’ve made an irreversible mistake based off an assumption rather than facts. Learn to get answers and not assume next time. Idk about the rest girl. Sorry
Why would you stay in a relationship that you’re not happy in? That’s stupid. Get a divorce. Staying together for the ‘‘sake of the family’’ is such a bs archaic excuse and is NOT good for the children. You should also break things off with this guy. The way you two got together was extremely slimy and negative. I suggest going to therapy, it can benefit you in a positive way.aint no shame in it.
You most definitely shouldn’t have done that you need to talk to your husband and tell him what you did
Wow…just wow. Why are you still married??? No reason to cheat. If you are so unhappy that you turn to cheating then get a divorce.
Well the damage can’t be done, you have kids, you’re family. Now you need to own up to it because everyone is going to find out. Dirty little secrets don’t stay secrets forever. Goodluck.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side work out your marriage or get a divorce don’t play around on your husband
No matter what you seem to think he felt like you chose to make the decision that you made that was a selfish one and the fact that you still entertain connection with this man you had an affair with shows you are not done with your behavior honestly your husband deserves better
You already ruined it lol but if your husband is willing to couples therapy is your best bet
Do the right thing and tell him, you made a conscious decision to do it. Now make that same decision and tell him. Did you ever stop and think that his labito is low, there’s help with that you just threw away all those years and memories a lot of men have trouble discussing things like that it makes them feel less of a man… Good luck on whatever decision you make… You made one wrong one, time to make a right one…
Be honest to your husband about what happened and how you feel. What’s meant to happen will happen from there and be accountable.
I know what it feels like to be cheated on, it hurts so bad. First they feel the pain and then the anger sets in. You need to tell your spouse, it’s not fair to them.
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why do so many feel the neeed to spread their dirty laundry all over face book
So I have been cheated on! It was horrible. These are the same types of reasons my boyfriend gave me. We tried to work it out ( we have kids). We realized after a short time it didn’t work. We split up he got with the girl he cheated on me with n it didn’t work. The grass wasn’t greener. We co parented for many years. He got therapy n I got therapy. we worked on ourselves and just happened to get back together. Our relationship currently is working with lots of communication.
Their isn’t an excuse to cheat but you also have valid feelings. You choose the wrong way to handle it. Now u need to tell him and take whatever comes your way.
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Wow. I’ve been in your husband’s shoes, that being said, cheating is the most disgraceful, disgusting and disrespectful thing any one person can do to another human being that they are SUPPOSED to love. That is why LOVE is the single most dangerous and deadliest word in the English language. If you are done with the relationship then at least have the dignity and integrity to finish that one before you start another one.
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Tell the truth. Its no longer your decision
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It’s better he found out from you. I feel like you should divorce before cheating. When one cheats, they cheat on the kids also. Not good!
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Your family is ruined already with the affair regardless if you tell the truth.
It will eat you alive if you don’t say anything and it will come out eventually.
Just tell your husband. It’s no longer your decision whether to keep your family together or not.
the amount of judgment coming from this post… Gross.
Try to be honest hon, it will continue to eat you up…maybe come clean and talk about things. Definitely need some fixing. Therapy does help if your both open to it
Come clean then leave. It wasn’t a one and done as you still talk to him. Your current relationship is not one you desire any longer. It’ll likely hurt kids more by you staying for them than if you leave.
Lmfao you SHOULD feel terrible. You “can’t stop talking to him”? No you can, you’re choosing not to. You’re being a selfish, disgusting cheater. Your family is probably already ruined because you couldn’t resist temptation. You need to tell him. But be ready for the very real possibility that he leaves you. I hope he does, you deserve it and he deserves soooo much better
I feel like if you women arent talking from experience…ya need to save ya selfish disrespect disgusting nd other name calling to yall self. Caus she clearly already feels that nd is just venting…why are other women so easy to shame other women…wtf is wrong with yall…we are all just human. Nd theres is no right and only direction to love or sex…nd I just cant even deal with judge mental bullshyt …damm smh hate to see it.
No judgment here, I just think you may need to take a step back and ask yourself how happy you are in your marriage & rather you simply want different things for yourself these days, I get it’s hard to walk away from a life you’ve lived for 14 years, but it’s not a sin to make sure YOU are happy✨
I’m just here to read the 100 spam comments this post received
For everyone saying everyone else is judging reverse the situation, if this was a woman saying her man cheated boy y’all would be fired up! Y’all would be telling her to divorce him, and that once a cheater always a cheater🤣
You cheated, if you absolutely love your husband you would stop talking to the other man, but you haven’t. So either stop talking to the man and talk to your husband or leave your husband.
I haven’t been the 1 to cheat but my partner tried to hit on my friends. I will always consider that cheating. Even if they don’t actually have sex with someone else even trying to sleep with someone else is just as bad. From your partners point of view at least have the decency to own up to your choice to cheat on him. I wouldn’t expect him to forgive and forget. You have already ruined your family. Cheating is not a mistake it is a choice. Being cheated on feels worse then cheating on your partner. You say you feel bad. Your partner didn’t have the choice of letting you cheat on him. You have to live with the consequences of your choices. Using the excuse your husband isn’t paying enough attention to you and you having a higher sex drive then him is a cop out. My husband has erectile dysfunction while menopause has left me with a higher sex drive. I haven’t even considered cheating on him for a second. We’ve been together 23 yrs and going from a healthy sex life to nothing at all overnight after he was kicked in the groin is not a reason to give up on the years we have spent together.
You should be honest with him, he at least deserves the truth so that he can decide if he wants to try to forgive you.
Cheaters are sickening to me, man or woman!! ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE MARRIED