Sorry for the long post. But I’m just feeling lost and have no one to really talk to. My husband was deployed for a year and was super sketchy while deployed. I knew something was up, so I hacked his Facebook and saw him talking to a “friend” they got matching tattoos. When I confronted him, he said they were friends, and it was nothing. I threatened to take the kids and leave, and he apologized told me he made a drunken mistake. I forgave him. When he got back from deployment, things were different. We talked about having another baby, and he didn’t want one but didn’t prevent it. We had our baby, and things drastically changed. He became distant, always on his phone. We have never been super secretive and always knew each other’s passwords to our phones, and he recently changed his! I started getting a gut feeling something was wrong, so I checked our phone bill and noticed he had been receiving and making phone calls at weird times… on his way to work, on his lunch break, and before coming home. Not just a few minute phone calls but like 30-40 mins each time for the past 3 months. I confronted him, and he told me it was none of my business, and that he had friends. Deep down, I know it’s more, and I want answers. He is brushing it off like I’m crazy, that he has no privacy, and he can’t have friends because of me. I asked him if it was a man or a woman, and I just get its none of my business. I’m just broken and need to be assured I’m not the crazy one.
If he is military go to jag and get a divorce 🤷 u have ur answers already
He made a “drunken mistake” yet got matching tattoos? Yeah ok, Mrs. Gullible.
Did you call the number?
Get a lawyer and leave. Make sure you get what he is supposed to provide. He is definitely stepping out. He got a matching tat yea no way he isn’t cheating
if you ever have any doubt like this it’s just best to cut ties
Leave. Gut feelings are 9/10 right.
He’s lying to you big time he up too something
Dont sell yourself short. U deserve better…matching tattoos? R u fn kidding me???
He’s cheating. Leave his ass!!
You stuck around with that a lot longer than I would have. Leave while you can. Custody arrangement and divorce. Try to make things as easy for kids as possible. He’s in military so most likely you’ll be top dog.
Leave if you feel like something is going on and hes not being honest with you leave
Leave don’t put yourself threw that
Clearly he’s not happy and he’s probably only with you for the kids. I hate to say that but I’ve seen it way too many times. Stop being in denial and giving him the choice. Leave
Get some counseling and then you can make better decisions. Even if he’s not cheating, his attitude sucks.
Call the number. Tell said person who you are. & Be direct. Not rude. Get the answers you want/need.
Imo, men do not get “matching” tattoos with a ‘friend’. My husband sure wouldn’t.
Ya he’s cheating hun I’m so sorry
You know the answer girl
Yep - cheating. For sure. Make a plan and get out.
It’s none of your business? You are his wife! He’s definitely cheating.
U already know
Call the number
Move out
Heal
Love yourself
Whoa! I’m soo sorry for you. I definitely know the feeling. It’s your choice and your life at the end… but that sounds like yes he certainly has another women. For starters no real man will talk to another man for that long UNLESS they are gay. Matching tats with another woman that’s extremely weird af!!! Dont be a fool 
he wont admit it cause he knows you know or HAVE clues.
You dont need us to tell you what you already know
I’m sorry babe I think it’s time to leave
Take your kids and leave
He’s narcissistic as well. He’s blaming you for his wrong doings. Easier said than done to get out of it.x
You already know the answer. Decide whether you want to live your life like that or not. And, do what you have to do
Im sorry to say this but it appears you are in a broken marriage. At this point, you have made your concerns known, and his actions have not changed to that of a married family man.
You have 2 options, stay in a one sided marriage and hope it gets better, & it might, or you can choose to put yourself & child first in a happy healthy life without him where it will definitely be better than being treated life you have no business in your own life.
Only you can allow people to treat you the way they do. If he feels comfortable treating you this way, its time to go 
He’s definitely cheating. It’s your business 100% you are HIS WIFE!!
You aren’t. Sounds like he is cheating. You need to leave him.
Why ask? You’re gut is right momma 
he’s never going to admit anything
You are not crazy. A cheating, deceptive husband can definitely make you feel like you are though.
Not a good role model for your kids.
Adultry! He would be losing everything INCLUDING his job 
I hope you can leave this guy! You deserve better
No you’re not crazy and he’s trying to make you feel that way. He’s definitely cheating and now the decision is whether you will tolerate the lying and betrayal because it’s not going to stop. He obviously isn’t remorseful and has no intentions of trying to work on things or make you feel secure so you need to ask yourself do you want to be living like this another day and another year
I remember looking at my exs phone records online and it was in that order. I was 8 months pregnant . I called her and begged her to stop talking to him. She said its not her problem. I had my baby and she and him were together up until A year later and hes in federal prison doing 12 yrs and im in a relationship (hubby going on 14 yrs.) My son is 13 and my hubby has raised him. Let him be because it wont stop. Trust your gut
Keep all of the proof for your own safety and use it in court
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m unsure as to what advice I’d give you.
Girl, leave his ass! You know in your heart what he’s doing and he’s obviously not sorry or wanting to stop.
Pack his shit…want to cause a shit storm call his commanding officer and tell them he’s having an affair…
You already know the answer but if you need reassurance call the number . Personally I’d be leaving
hack his shit again…call the number.be crazy.
Married 26 years to soldier. Sounds similar, mine threw signs after promotions. If I knew then what I know now…so do you, gut instinct and all…I’d have made drastic changes …as it is, he has all control. Stopped paying bills… we have 4 kids…always on phone, and node we made hed mumble and cuss…then discovered drinkingbwas his first mistress. I struggle so hard every day, note…legal separation has no expiration date and allows you to keep your insurance…trust your gut!! I wish I had!
I’m sorry to say but you’ve answered your own question. You know what’s going on. Do what’s best for you and the babies!
First of all you should know each other’s passwords. 2nd it does sound like he is doing something he should either tell you the truth and move on. Get out of that relationship
Call the number . You already know the answer.
I did exactly what Liz Patterson said once. My s/o was getting calls and messages at unreasonable times he worked for comcast at the time so his excuse was that it was a client but what “client” is gonna call after midnight and before you even leave for work? So I called the number told her who I was and yes although she was a client they were talking for 2 months…it broke me, he didn’t sleep with her but he did try…so I’m sorry to say but you know hes cheating on you.
Something is wrong for sure! Yes, you should trust him but his past behavior has made things like this so he should be working to earn the trust back not shutting you down. Something is NOT right and I truly believe you need to make an exit plan even if things turn around a woman especially with children should always have a backup/exit plan at least 3 months saved up to support you and kids on your own if he decides to act crazy. Follow your heart but please take your mind/head with you!!!
I subscribe to the theory of once a cheater, always a possibility of being a cheater. I can not live like that, so it would be a hard pass for me. His actions are telling you everything you need to know.
God gives us intuition for a reason. Trust yours!
If your gut is trying really hard to tell you something is wrong, it probably is… So sorry
Its always “you’re crazy” when someone is doing something fd up. Trust your gut, its NEVER wrong. Just like it wasn’t the 1st time.
Okay 1. Having a baby won’t fix marital problems. 2. Leave he’s obviously not connecting with you anymore and you shouldn’t subject the baby you shouldn’t have had to a life of fighting. 3. Please seek a lawyer for custody issues and no he won’t get in trouble if you say he’s cheating in the military you literally have to either have him admit to it or have proof of his dick going inside someone other than you.
Your not crazy but what made u think having a baby was gonna fix yalls problems?
Time to protect yourself and your children. See a lawyer and start the wheels in motion. The lawyer will give you good advice. He has clearly strayed from the marriage and as hard as it may be to hear, he does not love you any longer. Don’t think he will change, he won’t.
What
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He is cheating , pack His stuff or Yours . Sorry !
Ugh. Seems obvious he’s up to something secretive. I’d call the number first to see what you get. Like others are saying, document and plan your escape.
It’s not going anywhere good. Unless you’re both willing to do some serious therapy, I’d say it’s time to walk away.
A marriage without trust is not a marriage.
None of us are perfect, and everyone makes mistakes, or has poor judgement from time to time. When we step outside the marriage, it doesn’t end the marriage, but when we step outside, and refuse to step back in, it’s over.
Communication is the one and only road that a successful partnership can travel on. Without communication, and desire to be successful in a partnership, there’s no partnership.
Pack your stuff and move on.
Um it is your business. He sounds guilty af, just leave him. If he fucked around on you once he’ll do it again.
Trust your gut! Maybe instead of “confronting” sit down and talk. Confronting will cause walls. Or write everything in a letter. Write it. Read it. Rewrite it. Then give it to him. Even if it’s not sexually, it’s emotional. If it’s “not a big deal” why didn’t he tell you?? Last resort call the number!
U knew he cheated, but u had a kid from him anyway,once a cheater, always a cheater…u.keep believing him,take what u get
Always trust your gut!
It is your business when hes fucking with your happiness and messing with splitting YOUR family. I would be leaving. Once and cheater always a cheater
Also I’d be the crazy bitch calling the number 
lol
I call the number, if he is cheating and it’s a girl, she will tell you.
On deployments you can’t drink so Drunken mistake don’t believe it. get jag involved and go your separate ways you don’t deserve that .
She already has the answers to her questions from his responses to her insecurities. She just is not ready to see it.
He’s cheating… Time to lawyer up and look out for you and your kid.
You do jave a baby… Wirh another husband! This one, you can and you NEED to leave. His a cheater.
If it was no big deal…hed have no problem telling you who he calls and why. “Its none of your business” to me is sketchy.
Yep, he is up to No Good…
Sorry, keep your boundaries and stay strong.
If your gut instinct is telling you something’s up he is cheating. And then he’s a total different person from when he before he deployed you need to leave him. Or if you can see the person is calling call the phone number yourself.
Trust your gut… and like Iron Madden says… RUN TO THE HILLS. Yep go get gone. You and your babys will be fine… i know… your a strong women. You’ll find another, and he/she will love you and your babies
Trust your instincts. Men don’t talk to each other on the phone for 30-40 mins or at weird times like that. And the phrase “It’s none of your business” definitely would make me suspicious, perhaps because my husband and I talk about everything, but I would NOT be okay with any of that
Repeat with me here -
Babies. Are NOT. Bandaids…
You already no the answer. File for divorce. Take kids. Leave. Move on. Once a cheater always a cheater. Matching tattoos would of been over then
He is 100% cheating. Its “none of your business” is a major red flag. He obviously doesn’t have enough respect for you to be honest and he is not going to stop whatever it is that is happening. I would leave. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Prayers!
" he didn’t want one but didn’t prevent it." knowing he didn’t want a child, you did nothing to prevent having one- this is despicable. Men who trick women into getting pregnant are criminals…and that’s what you did to your husband. No wonder he’s distant.
I dont get it… you knew he cheated and decided to stay and bring an innocent child in this world hoping it will keep him. You are selfish and needs to reassess you decisions… he was clear when he said he didn’t want another however he didnt choose to prevent it. Get ansocial worker and talk to …
Lmao I wish my husband would tell me 30-40 minute phone calls were “none of my business”…he’s obviously cheating on you. You know it. I think you just don’t want to lose your family.
I think you already know the answer. Why be vague if you have nothing to hide?
Definitely cheating behavior, I have learned that ignoring these things will take so much of your peace of mind it’s disgusting. Leave him now
U cannot make a man do what u want him to do r can he make u do what u do not want to do instead of all this sit down n talk r walk
Man you have 3 kids with him… If its his business it’s their business, which makes it yours too.
Dial the numbers and get your answers your husband is a rat
Def cheating, it’s obvious!
Trust the way you’re feeling. I felt the same way with my SO and when I finally was able to get into his phone, I found out that I was right for feeling the way I did.
You are not crazy. Leave it’ll only get worse
Yup he’s hiding something
Your intuition is almost never wrong. Just saying
Honey your intuition has already told you what’s going on. The question here is what are you going to do about it. Now put your big girl pants on and take charge of your life. Tell him to get stepping.
You cannot live with secrecies. You need to make the choice if you are going to stay in the relationship or leave. My first marriage I was cheated on and left. I was very unhappy. Didn’t love this person and wanted out. We had 3 children together.
My second relationship is my forever. My parter started showing signs about 15 years in as you stated above. But through it all we both wanted to save our relationship. It took a long time, a lot of change on both parts and now our relationship is stronger and better than it ever was. That was extremely hard though and you both have to be 
committed to the relationship and learning to change yourself and work on yourself. (You will never change another person) you will be different people after this! Then you can decide if you want to be together.
You already know the answer. As soon as he changed the password. Kick his ass to the curb!
You already know Dear
Just leave now before something happens and you and your kids go missing. Thinking about the Chris watts story you never know
Does the phone bill list a number if so research whose number it is, then you may want to contact a lawyer
I think you already know your answer and your trying to deny it.
So sorry your going through this.
Leave. He wont know what he had until its gone! 