I have a feeling my husband cheated while deployed: Thoughts?

Because of what’s happened in the past, I feel he should be required to reassure you. You only have these feelings stemming from past issues.

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Um, matching tattoos with a female ?? GTFO as fast as you can

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Bail. Take your kids and leave. He’s messing around

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Cheaters never change.

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Hes cheating on you…
Say bye bye

your right cheaters never change it only gets worse

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Call the number yourself. Follow him and get proof. It will matter in a custody battle when you want to move home to your family. Trust me. Been there and done that.

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Call the number he’s probably lying to her to guarantee it her playing both sides you can do better move on for you and your kids sake

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You know the answer. Its pretty clear he has chosen to be with someone else. Have you ever asked him why he chooses to stay with you? Why does he stick around though his heart is obviously not happy. Babies dont keep people around, they do not solve problems or fix relationships. He said he didnt want one, you wanted one, you say HE didnt prevent it but neither did you. Why would you purposely allow yourself to bring an innocent baby into a life where neither of you are happy? Mistakes happen yes but you said it was done intentionally which tells everyone that you were going to “fix” things with a baby, a baby he said he didnt want. Which from where I’m at says more like you were trying to trap him in. I’m not trying to be rude. You forgave him and kept him around, now why did he stay?

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I would be calling that number u found since he wont tell you but honestly it sounds like he is hiding something :cry:

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I know the who story all too well, except he isnt army…but the rest i know well, im sorry.

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Ok, first; cheaters cheat, period. You forgave before but ask yourself how was the trust barrier when you did, be honest. Once trust is broken it’s damn near impossible to be regained, you will always have that nagging itch in the back of your head; him going to work, the store, time with the kids. It will become toxic and destroy you both, ask yourself what kind of life do you want to live. Going to be hard to say goodbye, but what kind of life do you feel you deserve.

I would have already called that number before I even confronted him. I’d make that call! You already know the answer sadly, time to make a new path with your babies. It will be a relief

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Trust Your Gut! We women have a natural instinct for things and we choose to ignore things because of love and fear of rejection!

It became your business when he married you . He is definitely cheating , I’m so sorry !

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Baby girl call that bitch and tell her to come get that boy out of your house.

If U.S. military - go to JAG and start getting your affairs in order. He’s up to no good, and you know it, and you need to protect yourself and know your rights related to compensation/housing allowance/healthcare, etc. Matching tattoos with a female? Nope. He’s moving on from you. You’ve got to do what’s right for you and your kiddos.

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Call the number he keeps calling if you got the phone records. Chances are she might not know if he is cheating and has no idea about you. Or she does and might scare her off. But either way it might give you some peice of mind if you speak to this person. But again stay calm and be nice if you do call this person. And ask them if there is something going on to ease your mind a bit.

He could be cheating that’s a good possibility. If he was deployed overseas maybe possibly PTSD. You need to talk to him. Be calm and mature. Discuss your relationship see what hes feeling and decide from there. Dont go straight to accusations that will make him be guarded

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Definitely not crazy! I’d be demanding answers as well. I’d sit down right beside him and call that number.

Also I want to add to my previous post, but it got lost in all of this… he says it’s not your business? It is if he admitted to cheating and said it was a mistake one time… if he stays in contact it’s not just a mistake. He owes you that much. It in your business. You should have the right to know and be with someone that only wants you and only you. Your happiness matters !

Once a cheater always a cheater. Save yourself and leave before it gets too late

The baby has changed nothing. Go with your gut. Protect yourself and your kids. Irrespective of who hes cheating with- he’s cheating. Leave

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You already know the answer

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You ain’t crazy, and hes the one who is insecure with his life. Fuck that shit girl. You dig when you get those gut feelings and that isn’t on you. You being upset isn’t going to hurt him. Say bye and find happiness elsewhere. What a waste of space.

You are his wife, he is your business, you shouldn’t have secrets from each other. Having friends is one thing, having secret friends is something else. Always trust your gut, you know him best. Especially if he’s not willing to talk things out, then something is off.

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Leave him. Not worth it.

Tell his CO lmfaooo he’ll regret actin like a punk

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This shit makes me so sad. Idk why people stay in relationships or marriages regardless of children when they cant be faithful. You dont want to have 1 person? Dont get married and be single, theres nothing wrong with that.

What’s the phone number? I got you.

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Let the CO know he will get into trouble they don’t like that stuff my wife’s friend got sanctioned for that when in the service

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Say goodbye. Leave him. Be happy.

What other verification do you need? Girl it’s what you think it is.

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I’d call the number :woman_shrugging:t2:

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He can ruin is whole military career if he’s cheating on you. Collect all the proof that you can and report it to his chain of command. They take adultry seriously in the military. Comming from an army wife myself I know that there are regulations for it. Keep your head up. Know your worth beautiful mama. You deserve better.

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Talk to his boss because it’s forbidden to be cheating in the district. They protect the wives when they cheat! U need proof though. So id find the proof first. The military will help u.

Girl he’s cheating and doesn’t feel bad. Hack his shit and get concrete proof. Send it to yourself. Keep it to use in court to get alimony.

you don’t need any confirmation you already know what’s up Oru that gullible

To me if it was an innocent friendship he would communicate it .the fact he doesn’t and is continuing to hurt you say’s it all he would really want you to feel secure in your marriage .he is probably seeing someone new and wont tell you period so I would definietly call the number and address the situation if you give him another forgiving pass this is what your marriage and life will be .

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You’re not crazy but your husband is hiding something and a sure fire way to throw you off is to turn everything around on you. He’s cheated on you and he still is. Idk if the cheating is with the same person or not but my guess is that it’s the same person from his deployment.

Get your ducks in a row (pictures/screen shot, all account information, living arrangements, etc) and then confront him… tell him to tell you the truth with proof that he isn’t cheating or you will leave (and be prepared to take the kids and leave).

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  1. You already know the truth 2. Whats the point of dragging out the outcome
  2. Decide either councelling and stay, or pack your stuff and move on
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You already know you’re just looking for confirmation

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All the signs point to he’s cheating, start putting some money aside that he doesn’t know about, stock up on stuff the kids need, diapers, wipes, food,toothpaste, shampoo ect hire an attorney, file for custody of the kids, divorce and child support and either you leave or tell him to leave

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Tell him here’s your “none of my business”

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Document everything. Report him to his commander. Get out.

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I think I would be getting my shit in order and planning my exit. It is definitely your business.

I was on your side till you said you threatened to take kids. Then you lost my respect. You seem to not want to leave anyways. You saw he did sketchy stuff and still wanted to try and have a baby.

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I think you already have your answer. When he said he didn’t want another baby you should have listened. If he’s not willing to work on the marriage you need to ask yourself if you can stay in a marriage like yours. If the answer is no then please try and end it on a good enough note the children are not hurt by the animosity. It’s best for them to have two parents who will work together to ensure a happy childhood

He says it’s none of your business? Like hell it ain’t something is up. Tell him you know how to do this alone and you don’t need him. Then leave because you don’t need that negativity in your life.

Tell him thank you for your service to his country but not his family and hand him divorce papers.

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Dump him go to court make sure the kids are taken care of. It will never change

And matching tattoos??? I’d go side ways bananas- holy crap!!

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Call the number *67 see who answers… well hate to say … he can have an affair w a man
Not unheard of

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He isn’t innoscent it’s a woman my ex did the same thing to me you have all the reason to be wondering if I was you I would tell him he needs to pack his bags and get out and get what he says then I sure bet he want like that tell him he can go live with whom he spends all his time on the phone with g

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You arent crazy. Dont threaten or anything. Just leave. It’s already over if hes cheating and denying with zero remorse

Just call the number *67 n ask for ur hubby name n than say well do u know how I can get intouch w him… than come clean n say are u still having an affair I heard it was a drunken 1 night mistake

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I woulda kicked his bum to the curb when I heard the matching tattoos . … RUN

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You already know he’s cheating what are you waiting on??

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If you can see the bill then you can see the number. Call the number and find out who it is. Then leave. It is your business. If he’s going outside of your marriage then that’s 100% your business and your right to know.

I would have left at the marching tattoos though.

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Im not saying that chrating is ok. Not at all.
But why on earth would you not think or believe for one min. That if a man or woman who has a spouse thats in the military is not going the cheat one or both well. Its a long time to go with out having relations. When one goes overseas. And not coming back for a year or more. It happens, not all people cheat, but most well! its being human.

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He’s playing games. He needs to man up and tell you the truth. You may never see this message from how many there are but please feel free to message me. Best of luck mama!

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Send yourself flowers with no card, and be mysterious about it. Then watch his response.

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He cheated. Go through his phone. Read his emails.

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Why not be a woman and not use the kids as pawns against their father? I know, what a concept. Regardless of what he did or did not do to YOU, he is still their father and you have no right to use them as a way to manipulate him.

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Why you snooping? You’ve never kept secrets but always knew each other’s passwords? Why passwords if there were no secrets between you. Maybe you had something to hide? Maybe you’re trying to justify something you did while he was deployed.

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You already know … Maybe Call the number and get more answers

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Do not ever make yourself feel broken, he is responsible for that. You need to stop having babies because that will add more problems to a already complicated situation(s). You feel and know that he cheated, so now you need to make your next move!

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Definitely if you have a gut feeling then don’t ignore those signs. You’re smarter than he obviously thinks you are. I would not put up with that and would try to get out as soon as possible. For him to say “it’s none of your business”, that would be the out for me. It is your business. Tables were turned, how would he feel? I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate it. I’m so sorry you’re going through this :purple_heart:

Fuuuuuckkkk thaaattt

Usphonebook.com and look up the number

Leave him he’s no good for you once a cheater always a cheater he shouldn’t be able to get away with it he will do it again

None of ur business your kidding right . If my bf said that to me he wouldn’t be talking again

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Put the number in the fb search engine and if it’s connected to anyone’s profile it will bring it up.

Or call the number by blocking your number. Use a fake name to find out who you reached.

A woman’s intuition is always right! He’s cheating !

If he is in the military he can get in big trouble for cheating. Check into that. And girl he is cheating

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The first thing you need to do is considered that he was DEPLOYED for so long. Can you imagine what takes place during that time, no you can’t. People change over time and men that are deployed usually come home a changed person. The main concern is that your children are taking care of. He probably needs time to readjust to all of the above and sometimes that is extremely difficult, for some not at all. Don’t push the issue and if you’re willing to forgive, let it be whether the marriage holds or ends… The only thing you might want to consider is counseling, I would pick a good day for him and bring it up, if he says no, drop it and take care of those babies as best you can… That is what he is expecting…

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The trust is gone obviously because you attempted to get into his phone. When there is no trust then there is no point. There’s been more than enough time to fix what was broke and that effort wasn’t there. So at this point it honestly sounds like he’s been unfaithful again, which only worsens the trust issues. There is no coming back fully from this. Kids are young. Separate asap. His benefits will still take care of you & the kids & you will learn to love yourself again & hopefully find what you deserve.

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You know what’s going on…

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You know the answers to your own questions. Sadly, it seems he’s cheating. He’s trying to make you out to be the crazy one and you’re not. Listen to your gut feelings. They’re there for a reason.

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Ask yourself why your not going with the only thing that is telling you he is YOUR GUT

Do you realize what these men & women go through when deployed. The horrors they come across. Sometimes they need a friend, maybe it’s a woman,& just maybe she was helping him (and not by sleeping with him) but give him a woman’s point of view how he will & should act after everything he has been through when he comes home to you ! That’s just a thought. But if you think & know for sure he cheated.leave him

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Tell him upfront no more bs,no passwords.I find anymore it’s over.

Leave, move on, you know your answer. Your gut along with his response is enough to assure you. Take it from someone who’s been there, 11 years, 11 years to long.

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Hey call the number and see who answers if it is a women hang up and let it go and confront him and say it is me or her you can’t have both

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I’m not sure if this is true or not but I’ve heard cheating with deployed is illegal and if that’s the case you have some serious stuff on your hands. I say leave him and go be happy.

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You are not crazy. You need to leave. He absolutely is doing things he shouldn’t. It will not stop. No matter what he says. He might stop for awhile, but he’ll do it again and again.

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Does it matter? Thing is he is making you feel and you are allowing it, crazy. If he loved you he would not want you feeling this way and do anything out of love to make sure your comfortable. Men are hunters and fixers, he is choosing the actions hoping you will leave so he doesnt have to be more nasty. You already know this, follow your instinct and have pride and love for yourself.

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That’s just completely disrespectful and no one deserves that. Focus on yourself and children and get out of that unhealthy relationship. Respect, communication, trust & honesty is a must in any situation not just your relationship.

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No woman should be treated like that, I’m sorry this is happening to you! Leave him, if he cared for you the way you should be cared for he would be transparent and not put you through this regardless of whether or not he cheated.

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Call the number. You’ll find out really fast.

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He was deployed, maybe he has PTSD. It’s hard for me to comprehend the mistrust. Everyone is entitled to their privacy, even if they’re married. Have you thought about your mistrust might be pushing him away. You need to get help for yourself.

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That is a little bit of information. But with the information that’s here. I’d say it sounds like your gut is telling you all you need to know.

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Leave the cheating idiot!!

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Go with your gut.
Don’t let yourself become a “choice”, its not an option.

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Always trust your gut.

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In a relationship there should be no privacy unless you’re making plans for a surprise party. Without trust, you have nothing. You already know what’s going on. You’re just in denial. Make him choose. He’s just trying to make you look like the villain instead of the victim of you leave him. You and your children deserve better. Yall deserve faithfullness. You should be his best friend and he yours. Next time he questions ANYTHING you do, tell him it’s none of his business. Let him see how that shoe fits. I’d load the kids up and leave when he’s at work and when he calls to ask where ya’ll are I’d say "it’s none of your business! ". Make him wonder for a couple hours and come home. See how he likes it. Tell him if he doesn’t like it he should just leave.

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babe I know this isn’t something that you would want to hear … but I think you know for yourself he is cheating… deep down you do … and I know it’s easy for others to say “leave” but with you theres children involve … make him sit his ass down … xplain yourself towards him on how you feel what u might know and tell him if he doesn’t get his shit together you’ll take your babies and leave … cause babe you don’t wanna sit with all you know and find out one day he is coming home to pack up his stuff to b with someone else … that shit is gonna crush you so jump the gun … talk to him and b civil … nothing gets solved with violence and don’t b one of those wife’s who thinks yelling and fighting will show him you love him … but please try and talk it out and see what happens … if nothing changes …put action to your words … but don’t b the one being cheated on and being left…
wishing you all the best of luck :heart::heart:

Leave, none of your business means hes cheating. Just move on. That relationship has no hope left in it. He sounds like a loser.

Call the phone number, ask for a name she’ll say no this is blank then you’ll know! I had a married guys wife do it to me :sweat_smile:(didn’t realize he was married by the way)