Trust your gut ! Save some 
and move on you already gave him 1 chance:woman_shrugging:t3:
Just leave without telling him and go stay with family and see if he changes
is ur business ur married! Leave he is Doing something…
I’m not sure I would have been able to get over the matching tattoos…
1 Like
I know probably not a lot of people will agree with me here but oh well. I don’t understand why the decision was made to have another baby when he expressed he didn’t want another one. And how can someone be surprised that he is acting different after having that child that he clearly said he didn’t want to have.
If you want to leave him then leave … but why threaten to take his kids away ? To me that seems like a low blow, your marriage problems don’t need to be made into your kids problem, and separating from him is one thing but taking his kids away is a whole other level and unless the kids are in danger then why would you take that course of action.
I’m not justifying the way he’s acting and honestly seems like you should leave him cos clearly no trust if he’s telling you that who he talks to for 30+ minutes is none of your business . That’s ridiculous and you have a right to know. But again, threatening to take his kids away seems unnecessary
5 Likes
You need to take your kids and just leave. He obviously thinks he is going to control the situation. I’ve seen to many men in the military chest on their wives and think it’s ok and their wives try and make it work for the kids but the husband never changes. I was in the military in a male field. There were only 2 females in my unit the rest men and to see the men act how they did when released on the weekends! Pure savage!
If you have to “investigate” it’s not a relationship you know what to do but you won’t until your ready
1 Like
Call the number. Go to his commander. Seems like hes cheating with another member, which is illegal. You and the kids will be taken care of
3 Likes
He’s definitely cheating. If you used to have transparency and now he’s secretive.
At minimum I say separate from him. Move out, take the kids. Maybe he will realize what he’s losing, maybe he won’t care. Either way you’ll be off to a better start.
It’s a woman. He’s cheating. lawyer. Save up money. If u r going to divorce don’t let him know till your ducks r in a row. Research divorce, alimony, child support laws and keep EVIDENCE. Phone bills, credit card bills, everything. Snapshots on Facebook conversations and pics.
2 Likes
He gave you your answer by saying it’s none of your business clearly he doesn’t deserve you I would just move on Mama
1 Like
They got matching tattoos? I mean.
1 Like
It’s possible that he needs someone to share military expirences with. The matching tattoos doesn’t seem crazy to me if they’re both in the same unit. I thought that was normal. I’d look more into it. Maybe steal his phone & call the number or hack his FB acct & contact this person.
Women have a unique intuition. You’re not crazy.
1 Like
I’m not a doctor, but I am a psychology major, hoping to one day be a counselor. Here’s my advice:
He is cheating. You know it, so does everyone else. But if you haven’t left. Which means your willing to work through an affair, and that you still love him. Try asking him if he will go to marriage counseling, if not, you need to ask for a trial separation, where you and the kids find a place. Get your own job, pretend you are divorced, do everything for your kids. Tell him you just want him to focus on him, what makes him happy, and him finding out what he wants. You are hurting and this is so not fair, but if you want this to work, you need to put the focus on him. Sacrifice yourself, and your feelings for the chance that he can fix himself. He is broken, and he is hurting himself by making this mistake. Do not ever go to the other woman when you will find out who it is. That will only make him feel embarrassed and resent you. A trial separation will allow several things…
1.) him to figure out whether he is going to try and come clean, work things out with you, and work on your family. If this happens, he needs to be away from the girl it happened with forever, and never have the ability to contact her again, whether he needs to request a transfer, or whether he needs to go to his superiors and tell them what happened so they will automatically transfer him.
2.) your a military wife. Counseling services are free to you. YOU NEED TO BE IN COUNSELING BECAUSE YOU ARE HURTING AND YOU DONT DESERVE THIS!
3.) do not talk to your children about what is going on. Just tell them that you guys are trying a new adventure and a new way of life. Assure them they will still see daddy, he’s just really busy right now. They should be used to this because he has been deployed for a year.
Your husband will be mad if you leave. He will say that you broke your marriage vows by leaving. YOU DIDNT HE DID. He will try to turn the entire situation on you and make you think you caused it. YOU DIDNT HE DID. Do not fight about this with him just walk away. He will tell you the second you leave that he wants a divorce. DONT BELIEVE THAT UNTIL HE FILES MOST MEN REALIZE WHAT THEY LOST AND WANT IT BACK. I am not trying to give you false hope here… but he could have already left you if he really wanted her over you? If you hold onto that, and try to work through the steps of repairing your marriage, you would be surprised at how he he can change IF HE WANTS TO.
Good luck!
You know what nobody knows but him. I was married for 18 years and never even thought of cheatin, I was completely in love with her didn’t want to ever I was content. She all of the sudden started doing the things you were with the phone and basically not giving me any kind of privacy. We never had a problem with this sort of thing before so it sparked some weird type thoughts in my head . Later I found out about not one but several affairs . Not anything but it’s not always those things that signal an affair.
First of all I am sorry for what you going through.I been there myself.I been married for 18byears with my now ex .I been with him through 6 deployment s .He has been doing the same thing with the phone and saying its just a friend or I’m overreacting Several times I would have female soldiers called him around 9:30 10:00 at night. His excuse was there sergeant. That he had to give them the info for the next day. Then one day I happened to go into his office and he wasn’t there and he knew that I was coming to bring him food. Well, I was looking for a paper in his drawer there was pictures of another female. He still try to not deny that there was anything I forgave him many many times over and over. But when the trust is broken, forget it marriage counseling several times did not help. Lies Over and Over Well, and then the last one. He was messing with two married women at the same time. Texting back and forth calling They made up. Had sex in the car then I get an anonymous letter on my 18 year anniversary. Stating all in Fidelity’s of what my husband has done with that woman. And her husband that found out about it ran up on my husband. Pretty ugly. All I can say is go with your gut feeling. When they’re hiding things and it trying to turn it on you like you’re the crazy one. Usually it is that that person is cheating and has lost complete interest in you…Or if you still intimate That you pretty much. Are the cake and he likes to have icing too.9 out of 10 even if you tried it will come to a ugly end
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Him trying to make you feel crazy for having your suspicions (that HE caused) is called gaslighting and it’s one of the biggest signs that you’re with a self indulgent narcissist. I’m so disappointed in the replies of some of the women on here. As if you need to be belittled or torn down. Honestly, hun, I get the feeling of “the heart wants what the heart wants” and that love knows no bounds, but if he’s no longer reciprocating the love and respect that you have for him, it’s probably time to re-evaluate your relationship. Whether it be to try to save the marriage with counseling or cut your losses here, no one can tell you what to do. That decision is on you, love. One thing is for sure, your babies need at least one parent who is stable and a constant, so if you can’t be that for them by staying, then go. Time heals all wounds and there’s always strength behind vulnerability. Keep your head up and think long and hard about what is best for you and your kids since he seems to want to be selfish right now. I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world 
You know, and you know what you need to do. Make sure you have family or friends that have your back, and that will help you during this time.
1 Like
Make it your business, call the number. Everything you need to know will surface within the first 10 seconds, if it’s what you think, leave. The way he’s reacting is sketchy at best.
4 Likes
Protect yourself! Draw money out of your accounts, check statements for suspicious spending and withdrawals, file for separation and support, change locks on doors, put his personal effects in boxes by the curb, text him that his belongings are out and go to a friends for a few days. Then go home and put your life back together by calling agencies who can help displaced homemakers. It is over unless you want to live with a cheater who emotionally is gone already!
Lots of red flags here and your not crazy but you will drive yourself crazy with worry. I am pretty sure if you really what to know it wouldn’t be very hard to figure it out. Sorry 
you are going through this, prays
4 Likes
You are NOT crazy! That’s what they do when they’re cheating. They make you second guess yourself. Listen to your gut! So sorry you and your children are going through this. Think about your children, what is best for them.
If he did it once and had little to no consequences why would he not do it again. You could have prevented another child, you knew how he felt and his history. Why are you even questioning this you know what is going on? You’ve been down this road with him. He should be able to tell you all about his “friends”…what husband has secret friends? Sorry you are in this position but you know what is what.
Not crazy. But definitely time to move on. You have your answer.
3 Likes
Definitely not crazy. Your married, everything he does is your business. Sounds like he is talking to someone he shouldn’t be. Sorry your going through this again.
7 Likes
Call the number…get your answers…and make your decision. U r married…it is ALL YOUR BUSINESS
10 Likes
Sounds like it’s time to cut the cord. Too much secrecy with his “ friends.”
I think you know your answer already. Sorry to say but unless he starts talking and starts making sense I think it’s time to walk away. In all honesty he has already broken your trust so there’s not much more to go on. It will hurt to leave, but it will hurt so much more staying in a relationship with a sneak and a potential cheater. Think of you and your child first.
3 Likes
Yes that’s what it sounds like…too many red flags and his behavior is a big one. Trying to hide it… He doesn’t want the truth to come out because he doesn’t want to end up paying child support…
That sounds so much like my situation… yes he’s being unfaithful and he’s mad cause you know … protect yourself and kids .
If you have to ask, you already know the answer… time to count your blessings and move on!
2 Likes
Keep the house , the dog and kids, his first obligation is to his first family, let him go, throw at the trash and move on …
3 Likes
Could be PTSD. Have you offered to go to counseling both together and apart?
3 Likes
He’s cheated and done with the marriage. You need to respect yourself and kids enough to get out and have a healthy environment for you and them.
Your not crazy. My husband has two phones one personal and one work phone. I have the passwords to both . Has my hubs says we are one. Everything he does is my business . He said when we start telling each other not your business, its time to walk.
1 Like
It’s time to go girl sounds like he isn’t in your marriage anymore and it’s time to go. It’ll be hard and suck but you deserve better
4 Likes
You are crazy. You kept him with you by threatening to take his kids away. You had another baby he didn’t want. 
3 Likes
Move on let him suffer in his bs. Karma will come back around. Good luck
2 Likes
Listen to your gut. You deserve better.
3 Likes
YOUR NOT CRAZY ! ! Your husband is an immature child . He’s not man enough to face you and plans to continue his affair and/or walkout on you soon . He doesn’t appreciate what he has . A loving , caring wife , wonderful kids , the potential of a great life . He’s throwing it all away for luster , and that’s not a man , that’s an immature child that’s selfish and self centered . There are men who would love a woman like you . Stay strong , believe in your self , and focus on your kids . You can live a good life if you try . Things won’t be easy , but don’t give up and ask GOD for help. Amen
2 Likes
Trust your gut feeling
Call the number …but remember it takes two to cheat and she may not know he’s married
2 Likes
Your not crazy he is and it affair with someone else you need to let him go I fell bad for you and if you let him stay it will never be the same
Go with your gut Its a natural instinct Sorry but I’d be long gone
You already know whats going on!
1 Like
Get rid of him. He is no good for you.
1 Like
Well, you kept him around after the first “mistake” … so yeah
It is your business.
If you don’t trust him get away. All them red flags are telling you something
He’s cheating I’ve been there leave now
Sorry you have a cheating man. Prepare to exit if necessary.
Hire a private investigator. The money will be worth the closure. Plus, you’ll have evidence against him when it comes to getting the children. What’s almost worse than him having an affair, is it seems very emotional (he can’t wait to talk to her, and for every minute he has free) and he’s making you feel like you’re crazy. LEAVE HIM.
1 Like
Far too many red flags. You are not crazy to think there is something wrong, there is! Men let their penises rule their brains and don’t think about consequences. Make a decision, do you want to live a happy life without living with uncertainty or are you prepared to be mistreated and disrespected for the rest of your life. Life is too short. Get rid of him now!
After 22 years of marriage, cell phone bills told the truth. I kicked him out. Been divorced 3 years. He married the woman he was cheating on me with. You and your kids deserve so much better. I’d move on.
2 Likes
So don’t wait for answers. Leave if you must. But it doesn’t help anything because he will be a part of your life anyway
1 Like
Kick his lyin ass to the curb! He is sociopath…they always blame others and try to make you look like the bad guy. They never change so save yourself time now. He’s a cheatin liar…karma will ‘kiss’ him…
You’re not crazy. He’s definitely filling around! Kick his cheating ass out now! Save yourself from constant heartache. Sorry.
Dump the son of a bitch, you do deserve better!!!
Yep, the BASTARD is CHEATING !!!
1 Like