You really want to throw away 19 years over a feeling
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Trust your gut donāt listen to what all these people are saying they could be telling you all this and he could have cheated like some said that story is way too detailed it seems like he was trying to cover his tracks in case someone told on him or you found out some women are smart some are dumb donāt be the dumb one yall saying that women needed help i call BS the 10 minutes he took to take her all the way there you could have called an ambulance and she all of a sudden stop having an attack on the way there come on now
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Trust your gut. Asthma attacks donāt mysteriously go away in which you no longer need your inhaler. Itās a BS story.
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Honestly I think you are way overthinking this. He was trying to be a good person and acted as how he felt was best at that moment. Honestly I dint see an issue here. If he has never gucen you reason to be suspicious before then donāt let an isolated innocent situation get you all worked up.
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This man feels guilty even helping thatās why he told you. Relax
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Usually asthma attacks donāt go away like that. I have 3 kids with it thats fishy to me. Trust your gut do some more investigating and watch his behavior like a hawk.
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Always trust your gut mine has not failed me when I suspected something I was always right
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You cant say hes cheating bc her asthma attack just stopped. Maybe the girl was lyingā¦ i think youre just paranoid.
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Something seems off. So my question is during this whole ordeal, why couldnāt he answer your phone call and at least say he was dealing with an emergency? Just to ignore your call is still strange.
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If itās bothering you and youāre stuck on āwhat ifā. Have him repeat the story to you. If anything changes your gut was right.
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He easily couldāve just said something else. Why even mention a FEMALE?? Too much detail for a lie IMO
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I donāt believe him for you!!!
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If someone is asthmatic, and has learned the proper strategies to calm down, they can definitely bring themselves out of the immediate need for an inhaler. And as someone who analyzes interrogations for a living, his story does NOT contain too many details. If he would have described her clothes, the car, her room, or anything not important to the story in great detail, it would be a flag. It sounds like finding a therapist to talk to would help you. I know that it can be difficult to fully put your trust in someone, especially in todayās world with stories of cheating spouses at your fingertips through the internet
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If he were cheating he probably would not have brought it up at all
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Trust your instincts. Thereās a reason why you feel this way.
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I call bs, sounds so made up and an asthma attack not just gonna go away that fast,especially how you said she was to the point she could barely breathe. Trust your gut
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Youāll get mixed opinions all over this thread.
Your stomach doesnāt lie. I know that feeling. I ignored the crap out of my gut instinct. Only to find out I was so spot on.
Iām sorry youāre going through this. I hope it works out
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Guilty conscience. He wouldnāt have gone into so much detail if he werenāt trying to lie.
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I think youāre over reacting. If hes never given you a reason to not trust him, why are you not trusting him??
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He wouldnāt leave the job site for that
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I think he would have told you nothing at all if he was cheating he could go about his life and you would never know this happened it probably happened then he realized after it wasnāt the best ālookingā thing so he told you so you had no doubt of stuff
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Thatās a very elaborate story. I agree with you if the attack was so bad someone should have called an ambulance. If the story is true there had to have been other workers around who could have called if your husband was āpanickedā. Sounds fishy to me.
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I have asthma and I am telling you if you are in an asthma attack such as this case it does NOT just go away. He is a liar. Trust your instinct.
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Has he ever given you a reason to not trust him before? Youāre going to believe what you want, but sometimes in emergency situations people do panic and donāt always think of the rational thing to do. I would ask him again what happened. But I mean he missed one phone call, and then told you why, seems like a big jump to cheating for me, especially if you have never been given a reason before.
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I would believe this whole story cause it sounds legit!! Buuttttā¦ The fact that he didnāt answer the phone or call back ASAP is where I have doubt!
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Definitely trust your instincts. Sounds like bs. If heās the superiorā¦. Wouldnāt he be trained on how to handle emergencies? How does a superior freak out in a situation and not think? Do asthma attacks even just go away?
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Trust your gut. If it feels offā¦ it is.
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One year, at 2am, I heard a crazy sound coming from my wood stoveā¦I tapped my hubby (6-3 270lbs) awake to go see what it was. He rolled over and told me to go checkā¦the noose had woken up one of the kids and we tip toed to the kitchen to see whatās up. The noose continued and when I opened up the door to the wood stove, a bird flew out and straight to the living room, knocking over lamps and destroying my curtains. I run for a pillow case and after about 30 minutes and destruction of my living room I caught it amd we let it go outsideā¦point of the storyā¦shit happens and sometimes stories are weird or crazy but can also be true. 19 faithful yearsā¦ give him credit but be visual.
First of all, why would he call you back and make up such a elaborate story? He simply could have said he was busy at work when you called and was just then able to call you back. Secondly, if your husband is the āsuperiorā at his job maybe he canāt be at your beck and call every minute of his day while heās at work. Just gotta say, sounds to me like thatās a pretty big story to tell if itās not true when he didnāt have to say all that. Iād say trust your husband until he proves otherwise. Donāt judge, try, convict and hang him without the facts. You know him better than anyone else and know whether or not he is the type to help people and would do this to innocently help this lady or not. Either trust him or ruin your relationship dwelling on this for no reason. Iād never be with a cheater but Iād need more than my gut proof. 
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if he jumped right to a long winded story id be iffyā¦ like heās trying to come up with a story but didnāt think it thru all the way & panickedā¦
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Soā¦ out of all this you made out that heās cheating? There has to be moreā¦
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You know what you know even if you donāt really know.
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He wouldnāt tell you UNLESS heās a narcissist and just lies all the time to make you doubt yourself. My wife was so thatās how I know. She would make up these CRAZY stories to mess with my head. It sounds like he made up the story bc he missed your call! To me it would be HUGE red flag. I ignored all the red flags and my stomach and turned out she was was cheating all along! Only you know your partner. If he isnāt the type of guy to lie to you then let it go. Just watch for anymore signs. Like him always having his phone on vibrate, not answering calls, leaving the room when heās on the phone, hanging up from a call as soon as you walk in the room. Putting his phone down when you walk in and turning it over. Little stuff like that.
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My darling! You should praise him for trying to help another human being!
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Was the inhaler /cap sticky?
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I learned the hard way to always trust my intuition and instincts. They are my bodies fight or flight.
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This is a difficult one. Could go either way. An hour isnt too too long. I could see all that happening in about an hour time frame and him calling you when it was over and dealt with. Itād a little fishy but he had the details it didnāt seem like he was trying to necessarily hide anything. I donāt think most men would admit to going to a females hotel ect. The fact that he did and gave you details makes it feel more legit to me especially after 19 years. Thatās a long long time. If he never made you question him before Iām honestly wondering why this one situation makes you certain he was cheatingā¦
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He told you about it so it seems true
so after almost 2 decades of faithful marriage he just randomly decided to cheat
on you then call you back and make up a whole elaborate medical emergency story to justify why he didnāt call u back for a measly hour?
Read that out loud and tell me if it sounds a little crazy to you?
Itās 100 times more likely that it happened exactly as he said it did and you are overthinking it. After 20 yrs of loyalty the man deserves trust.
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Always go with your womans intuition, gut feelings.
Theyāre never wrong.
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First time one hour . Maybe overreacting ?
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ā¦ if youāre having an asthma attack so bad that you canāt breath, it doesnāt just go away. And if the motel she was at was only 10mins away, why did it take him an hour to call you backā¦
Hes full of shit.
He made up that story to feel better about himself.
Trust your gut.
I donāt buy that over explained story.
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If thereās anything I know itās that the tummy donāt lie.
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I meanā¦ asthma attack is that bad usually canāt walk to a car and drive around searching for said lost inhaler.
Also heās not a trained medical professional, not like heās an asthma attack expert over there lol suspicious elaborate story where heās a hero, definitely false imo. Even if heās not cheating he probably wasnāt out being detective of the random coworkers lost inhalerā¦
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We were not there we cannot say he did or he didnāt and you cannot kill yourself worrying about it. If he does heās going to do it again and believe me it will come out sooner or later let God handle it
Trust your gut. Iāve been in this spot
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He made a back story Incase anyone say them together. You have gut instincts for a reason.
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An asthma attack doesnāt get better without use of inhaler. This story smells of B.S.
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Yeah
I doubt he cheated.
Thereās literally no evidence that he did at all.
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If you Truly believe he Cheated for the Very 1st time in 19 yrsā¦ Sit back an just watch himā¦ Youāll know for sure soon enough, Men are NOT as Sly as they would like to believeā¦ just by his behaviours at home & around you, Youāll see a difference if soā¦ Check his routine- has anything Personally changed about him? The way he dresses, Or wearing cologne more than before or ever before, or a new kind? More than usual fresh haircuts or any change in grooming etc? Just look for little subtle things- Theyāre dead giveawaysā¦ He canāt hide it ((If you know him well enough- As you SHOULD after 19yrs)) But donāt make yourself go crazy with all the what ifās*ā¦ Just sit back & watchā¦ it will definitely expose itself if soā¦ bc you will see a change in his Normal 19yr actions & behaviours If in fact someone New is in his lifeā¦
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I have asthma and I donāt see how she could come out of an bad attack without her inhaler. But anything is possible. Talk to him about it and tell his you donāt believe his story. But it does mean it not true. Stranger things have happen.
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Donāt assume he cheated. My boyfriend would do anything to help anyone. If he was cheating, he wouldnāt make up something like this. I believe that he mightāve just reacted quickly without thinking more to help this woman. I trust my boyfriend completely. Youāve been married for 19 years, Iām sure you know your husband well. I would give him the benefit of the doubt and let it go. When you see him, ask him again. Also, by just looking at his face youāll get more from it.
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Trust your intuition. Always. Especially when youāve been with someone for so long, we know when something isnāt right.
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Iām inclined to agree with you that heās lying. An asthma attack that severe can lead to death and is not likely to just go away on itās own. Unless the woman was faking the asthma attack and then that poses the question why. Why would you fake an asthma attack? That statement a alone showed that either he lied or she did. Always go with your gut. You already know heās lying so now itās time to find out what heās lying to cover up. So sorry that youāre going through this.
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he only helped her IN an emergency, hopefully you get help if your alone in your futureā¦
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Iāve learned gut feelings donāt lie. When my husband cheated that night I got gut feeling and I knew all the signs were there but they had a story planned out. I always knew but 5 years later it finally all came out. So I have now always gone with my gut feeling.
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If you pay attention some ppl like to tell on themselves.
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When he comes homeā¦ if he cheated and this is the first time. It will be all over his face. He probably wouldnāt even be able to look you in the eye. Thatās was my case and my stomach does this weird flip flop thing that I KNOW (it been a pattern I have noticed over time) what I am thinking and feeling is right. Sorry your going through this but please trust your gut.
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Nobody has a real life threatening asthma attack for that long and can do all that he claims happened. Thatās just strange af! Somebody is lying ā her, him or both? Trust your intuition, if after almost 20 years you never felt it till now, something is off. Your body/mind isnāt lying to you. Now, it may not be all that youāre thinking but something doesnāt sound right for sure.
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Lying asthma attacks donāt just go away like that
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Bcuz u know itās BS!
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My husband called me to tell me hed be late, went into detail. After hanging up I walked down to his friends house and could hear him laughing. There were 15 young ladies, nurses at his house. I asked to see my husband and he came out and followed me home
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Sometimes youjust know
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Most of our anger is stuff we make up in our own heads. Something to think about.
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You canāt argue with your gut. I wish I followed mine at the beginning of my marriage to my ex.
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Maybe it was an anxiety attack that appeared to be an asthma attack who knows. I took psychology and they said donāt always trust your gut. Itās unfair if you have something from your past that brings these feelings on or any insecurities. So unless you have definite proof donāt assume.
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Itās a lie. Speaking from someone with asthma, if I have asthma attack and didnāt have my inhaler by five minutes Iād be begging for a ambulance you canāt even talk either youāre gasping for air im so sorry hunny but this is a big storyā¦ā¦
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Ew you had to write all of this to all ready no the answer that he is a load of shit he might as well be on dating sites 
My gut is wrong a lot of times and itās not always my gut and more my brain playing tricksā¦ Something is making you feel this way, discuss it, try a counselor. I have asthmaā¦ my asthma attacks have gone away many timesā¦ My anxiety makes it worse so if I can get out of that situation and into the car, the drive calms me enough sometimes that the attack goes away before getting to the ER. Not here to downplay how you are feeling or even that his story is a little wonky but you have to make a decision to trust him or not. If after 19 yrs you suddenly arenāt going to, there is something else going onā¦
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Heās a really bad liar. Should have never made that up and said he was just super busy or something.
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- Because, indeed, your gut was right or
- Because this wasnāt his first ārodeoā
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He wouldnāt have even mentioned a woman to you if he did something.
He could have just told you he was in a meeting with his āteamā thatās on the kid sight with him. Or with his boss. Or had his phone in his car. Or had something bad at lunch and was in the bathroom. Literally so many other options then to even bring up a woman.
I know when my best friend had attacks and we didnāt have her inhaler we would walk back to her house to get it. They can go away on their own.
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You need to tell him your concerns about this. Being honest is best. Watch his eyes and body language. Tell him to be truthful and that youāll be understanding. Maybe you wonāt but I bet youāll get the truth.
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Iād say trust him unless something else happens -
An ambulance takes at least 5 minutes - very possibly she didnāt have 5 minutes!
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Donāt overreact but I most certainly would show up unannounced
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why would you not believe him?
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Wow! What an incredibly talented story teller your husband is. A very intricate and detailed lie.
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Your gut is usually right on point!
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id go with trust him but watch everything closely for a bit
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All these women calling him a liar is sickening. No wonder yall probably single and donāt need no man (except for child support lol) if the dude has been faithful 19 years and never been into it and not to mention he told her, he could have simply said it was a meeting or 100 other different things. Iād definitely give him the benefit of the doubt just based on not having a history of lying.
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Nominate him for a work award for helping a colleague during a difficult time
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Idk girl. Sounds sus fr
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Heās lying. Iām sorry. 
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And what if you are wrong ?
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Thatās quite a story to tell if he was lying. Iāve been married 25 years and if my husband told me that Iād believe him. Sounds like honesty to me. Like somebody else said if he was messing around why mention the woman to begin with? Work meeting or left my phone in my car would be his excuse. Most men wouldnāt think of a story like that and to risk their job? Iād believe him.
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Yeah I wouldnāt believe it either. Iām so sorry
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He sounds like heās covering his tracks because multiple people on the job site saw her and him together, watched them leave together, and possibly watched both of them go into his hotel room together. So he thought of a story to tell you and she probably either works for the company or sheās been around a long time and became his main female while away from home and showed up all the time while he is away from home during this job - except weekends. His response when you confronted him about cheating tells you everything ā I would never put myself in a position to cheatā when men are cheating they always deflect - they almost never ever say āI wouldnāt cheat because youāre the only woman for me and I love you Iām sorry I donāt make you feel secure in our love doing my job no way would I cheat I love youā things like that. Cheaters always deflect into other excuses that donāt involve you. Like ā how do I even have time to cheatā or some other bs excuse. You should trust your instincts. Heās cheating and itās probably been going on a while now . And what was the reason he couldnāt pick up his phone?! Should be no reason why - heās lying. Sorry. You need to get around his coworkers and start asking questions - someone knows something.
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Truth will ALWAYS prevail you just have to wait and see.
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If he was cheating he never would have said he was with a woman!
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When someone says that they wonāt put them selves in a position that would make you question their loyalty itās a clear indication that they aim to do well and avoid something that may make you jealous.
It is considerate to acknowledge commitment but jealousy is a component of control in a possessive way.
In truth, you may not ever know what truly happened but if it does not impact his behavior towards you directly then it should be taken into account as true, actions speak louder than words.
This applies to you as wellā¦ In my experience cheater accuse others of cheating so as to justify their actions of either breaking the commitment or thinking about it.
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I would have panicked and done the same thing. š¤· Those people may not be directly his employees however while they are working that job he is responsible for them. I would say believe him but when he comes home let him know (face to face) how it made you question him and why and yāall talk about it. Donāt throw 19 years out the window over something that very well could have been a honest panic moment.
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Young one - this is a hard one - your gut says one way but why would he tell you about it - itās not like you would find out - this one may take you time to figure out-
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If you have been with him for this long, and he has never given you a reason to feel uneasy, but for some reason THIS story and situation are making you uncomfortable, I would go with your gut. I wouldnāt accuse him of anything, but I would make sure to be more aware of his actions involving this one coworker for sure. The fact that he over explained, and gave you information that you did not ask for, could possibly be a way to cover his tracks if something popped up later down the road about him not being at his worksite.
ā¦āoh yeah, remember babe? I told you I took so and so to blah blah blahā
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Sorry but I donāt think he is, he sounds like he was truly just trying to help someoneā¦ as someone whoās friend lost their son to a asthma attack itās not something you mess around withā¦ it can be life threatening. I donāt blame him for just wanting to get her inhaler. If he was cheating I guarantee he wouldnāt of even told you about this story or her. You sound paranoidā¦ sounds like you have bigger issues if after 19 years this one incident makes you question everything.
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Is this the first time something like this has happened? If so maybe take a more cautious approach instead of just accusing him. If its not then call it like it is. I see a ton of comments saying oh well if he was cheating he wouldnt have mentioned her thats not necessarily true. People could have seen him leaving with her and this is his cover story. I have asthma and so does my daughter. Attacks for me and her are very different so its also plausible hes telling the truth.
Open communication is going to be key. Talk to him. And if you need a little extra reassurance because of it for a while thats understandable. It sounds like this action was more out of character for him than you may be used to and thats a valid reason to question it just dont automatically jump to conclusions.
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Letās see a pic of this lady then Iāll let u know
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Geezā¦I would have just asked him if she was alright. Sounds to me like everyone wants him to be cheating. I donāt think he would have risked his job if he wasnt scared for her health.
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Honestly it doesnāt sound like anything happened. If someone came to be with an asthma attack and they said letās go get my inhaler I would do it cause they know best what they need. If they needed an ambulance they would have let him know that. And if he cheated why would he tell you anything at all about it?
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Frist they could have call EMS or gotten another worker does sound right learn to be your owe best friend & spy co phone wait a few wks then show up at the hotel where he stay or get a friend drive there & spy donāt show any sign that your upset donāt tip him off if everything on the up & up all Iād well been there done that yrs ago I got a divorce with I was 25 Iām now 65 was married 28 yr my husband passed been remarried 13 it broke my heart I was young & dum but my gf & I went cought then red handed I donāt think you lean on your chest when you canāt breathe and again ems could have came and why risk your job thatās the one thing that didnāt fit good luck eyes & ears open but donāt cry or louder it till you know for sure then lay the law or get a good lawyer
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