Bottom line is if he belonged to his wife and family he wouldn’t be dating her in first place. That family is already broken, they just haven’t seen the cracks yet. Not saying what he is doing is right it’s not but it’s already broken, her involvement is not the instrument that did it.
She’s finding happiness where she finds it BUT that being said she should think about fact that he obviously isn’t one to talk to his SO and work things out, he nails and hides it and he could do that same thing to her as well in future.
Lastly, she’s either your friend or not. Friends stick by each other, might not like what she doing but it’s her life and her choices even if it’s something you would never do. If it’s something you can’t stomach then you be honest with her about it and go because neither of you deserve to be in position of being friends with someone where judgements are held over their heads. And that’s ok too, if need to walk away.
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Tell her to walk in his wife’s shoes and to not be surprised because what goes around comes around. Whats wrong is wrong.
Dont involve yourself. Say it with me “Not my circus not my monkeys” she damn well knows it’s wrong but doesnt give a fuck. That’s the quality of person you are surrounding yourself with. You cannot fix stupid.
Sounds like u need to mind your own business! For real!!
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Friends aren’t perfect. If they don’t fit your moral code seek a new friend but no one can be changed unless they want it.
I had a female colleague do the same and I just couldn’t tolerate her excuses for her actions and distanced myself from her. I just can’t get behind that garbage behavior and don’t need those kinds of “friends.”
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Mind your own business is what you should do. It literally has nothing to do with you and yes it is definitely wrong of her, but again not for you to decide.
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I would also tell the wife if possible. If the family ends up splitting up, its honestly probably for the best. People who say mind your own business are seriously so ignorant. If I were the wife, I would want to know!
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I would like someone to tell me if I was in the wife’s situation even if it was a complete stranger but i think I would be more mad at my husband for breaking that commitment than the girl although her knowing what she’s doing isn’t right either
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Tell the wife? Wouldn’t you want to know? I mean who seriously wants a friend like that? Religious? Allow me to clear something up. GOD WILL NEVER SEND YOU TO SOMEONE ELSES HUSBAND
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People are really up here defending this woman? 
BOTH of these people are ruining a marriage, it takes 2 to cheat. Obviously you care a lot, which only shows how good of a friend you are. I wouldn’t be friends with this woman, knowing that she’s sleeping with a married man… it’s just not who I prefer to be around. Half of the women up here saying it isn’t her fault have probably been in bed with a married man too from the looks of it. I would find a way to tell the woman her husband is cheating and cut my ties with this girl.
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She certainly isn’t in right relationship with God if she is living this way. Pray that He BREAK her to the point of repentance. Only He can do that…
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Well, she isn’t the only one breaking up that family. He is too. If that’s what she prefers to do & you are uncomfortable with it, then I’d suggest distancing yourself from her. If she doesn’t have a moral standard, then that’s on her; it isn’t your job to teach her like a child or push her to do the right thing. Especially if she already doesn’t even feel guilty about it.
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Maybe the wife does know…
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Mind your own business, if it’s that much of a bother don’t be her friend
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I would disconnect from a person like that.
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Are you sure that the wife doesn’t know? Lots of people are polly and date while married. Has she said that he is hiding the relationship?
I’d really just mind my own buisness lol
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I would stay out of it…and pnly being friends for 3 months, if you don’t agree with her feeling like it’s okay to do what she’s doing, I wouldn’t continue the friendship…And also, it’s just as much of the husbands fault…If he isn’t cheating with her, he will cheat with someone else…And if this has been going on for 3 years, I highly doubt the wife isn’t aware of a fidelity issue…
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She’s not breaking up a family he is
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Id go tell the wife🤷♀️ and play innocent lol
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It’s his problem…not yours
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She opened up with you, remain her friend just don’t invite her to your place. Wife probably knows ( I did) that something is up. Friend is a side piece. She will get hurt in the end. Just be friends at work. Wouldn’t be my business, not up to us to judge. We don’t have to approve of though.
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To all that say try to reach out to the wife,that wouldn’t be something that you should do unless you already knew her or were friends with her also. No real woman would ever want to put that kind of hurt in any ones heart that they didn’t know. Unless you are a drama and trouble making bi**h. Stay out of it,everything that happens in the dark will be brought to light.
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Wouldn’t be friends with her, can you trust her around your husband? Cut the friendship.
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Okay totally weird. But my parents are still “legally married” but have been separated for 3 years now. Lol Neither want to get back together and they both are in strong, committed relationships. It could actually be a situation similar to my parents.
or maybe my parents just aren’t normal & your friend is shitty:thinking:
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I usually don’t put much of my business on FB but knowing from experience of dealing with a married man it’s nothing I can say that I was proud of.
It went on for a long time, we did everything together and yes his wife knew all about it. We lived together for 5yrs and i tell you my life was a mess until I let him go and I asked God for forgiveness. My friends talked to me all the time. The thing is a broken women just as I was and may have bn hurt the same way. I pray she let him go and know God will heal and send her someone better.
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Repeat after me “not my monkey, not my circus.” We cannot control the thoughts, feelings, or actions, of other people. Even if you could convince her to break it off, that doesnt change who she is, and that dowsnt change the fact that the guy is trash too. If you dont want to be associated with someone like that, you need break off the friendship. I mean this is the nicest way possible but you’re not bob the builder. You cant fix a person.
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you have said your opinion now leave it alone she is a big girl and can make her own choices no matter how much you want to get her to live life by your morals and your choices she will do what she wants
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I love women like you !!
We need more !!
God bless your soul for knowing this is so wrong, and not helping her out with it…
Is there any way you can drop a hint to the husband??
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The wife might actually be aware of the affair. She might be having one herself. They could be in a loveless marriage, and are only staying married because of financial reasons, or to keep their daughter’s life as “normal” as possible. There are so many living arrangements and situations.
If it bothers you, step back from the friendship but don’t get involved in other people’s problems.
Repeat after me: “Not my circus. Not my monkeys.”
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Mind your business be a good friend and support them no matter what or walk away and still mind your business.
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As a married woman myself I find it super low. I choose to not keep company who behaves that way. If he’s married and is cheating on his wife he’s a scum bag 🤦 what makes her think he won’t do it to her. I find it so disgusting how someone could possibly sleep with someone they damn well know is sleeping with someone else 
NOT your problem u are way to invested in something that has 0 to do with u
You can’t change her mind just be her friend and pray not anything else you can do she knows what’s she’s doing its wrong but it’s her choice no one can change her mind but her
Friend is a friend. No judgement. Just support.
She is breaking up a family . They both are
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Dont judge and please mind ur own business. We all have our flaws
You can’t help those who don’t want to be helped. I don’t agree with what she, or he for that matter, are doing. But she will not stop until she either wants out, or things blow up. Continueing to try and get her to break it off is going to accomplish one thing: you will lose a friend. She will begin lying to you about everything because she simply doesn’t want to hear it. As hard as it is, all you can do is be a shoulder to lean on when things go awry.
You can express your opinion and that’s about all. It’s up to her. It’s wrong as hell but she’s going to have to deal with everything when the shit hits the fan. When it does you can say I told you so.
Play along, figure out the mystery man’s real full name, then find his wife and tell her! They have a kids for crying out loud! The wife needs to know!
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I would get in contact with his wife
Three things… 1. Grown ups can be shitty humans. 2. Not your monkeys, not your circus. 3. Keep repeating number 2.
Give it time God will take care of it !
What you can do is let your friend know that a man that will cheat on his wife will also cheat on her so she should fess up to his wife of the affair she had with him and that she is dumping him and she should also and confront it in front of him so his wife might want to either forgive him or dump him …
Dont worry, you can be there for u friend but u can’t fix it, they must know their wrong, remember it takes two, maybe the wife knows.
Coworker, 3 months… that’s an associate. You don’t really know her at all. If you want to be her friend and enjoy her company, etc. then just be her friend. You’ve expressed how you feel, but technically don’t have a right to be so bent about it that you have to ask facebook or your husband. You have to live and let people live. If you don’t feel she’s a genuine person then put distance between you two as far as not hanging out & stuff as often (esp if you’re just silently judging all the time), but still be cordial with her bc of course you work together. I’m not sure how much detail you know, but she’s been messing with him for years so nothing you do or say will change anything. Just be her friend … unless she asked for a life coach… it’s not anything you should be so worried about. It’s (not to be rude) not your business even tho she told you.
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The man is the problem here,not your friend.
Any man who cheats on his wife has long ago made a decision that he does not want her,so don’t blame the woman he is interested in.
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I was in this exact situation! I was her supervisor though.
One friday night our whole department went out for cocktails and about 2 drinks in, she starts bitching about not seeing her boyfriend that weekend because “its was his asshole kids birthday and his wife wanted him home”. She actually called his 3 year old an asshole!
10 women chewed her a new ass! We tolerated her the rest of the time she worked there but she had zero friends.
In the 3 years she worked for me they never broke up. He paid her rent and bought her a new car and she bragged she was spending “his kids” college fund!
Basically, she was a prostitute. I dont hang with whores. Nobody else did either.
You should do the same. If your coworker has been boofing him for years, the wife knows. Stay out of it. You could be fired for contacting his wife. You’re just not allowed to get in a coworker’s business. But you can choose who your friends with.
Sounds like she trusted you enough to tell you. If you disagree that much perhaps you need to reconsider your friendship with her. You expressed your feelings about it but you can’t control it. Are you taking to much time focused on it that it takes away from yourself ? They are adults and it takes two. In reality it’s not your business and you are the one making it yours. But you also have a choice in your friendship. He’s actually the one risking his own marriage & I doubt she isn’t the first nor will she be the last. 3 yrs is a long time and you don’t exactly have all the information. Remember you also have a choice & I suggest not bringing her around anyone your husband. Might be easier if you focus on your marriage vs his. You can express how you feel but it’s up to you to participate. It’s okay to just be coworkers & not have the same beliefs or values.
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I’m blown away by the amount of people who always say it’s not your place or business to inform the person being cheated on… seriously they deserve to know. Have a little decency for your fellow human and inform them if you know they are being wronged in such a significant way. And as for the OP, I’d ditch the friend. Clearly she’s cool with being the other woman and playing a part in destroying a family. Is that really the type of person you want to have in your life? You tried to talk some sense into her and she’s not having it. You can’t force her to be a decent human being… I say cut your loses and just distance yourself from her.
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She isn’t the only one breaking a family… he is also… i understand the want to help, but you can only do so much. You’ve stated how you feel, stick to that and be there for her. Stand your ground on the opinion (you’re right) but know that she (and he) will do what they wish regardless, and don’t stress over what you cannot change. It will affect you long term-
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Not your business. Still remain her friend id you wish but stay out of her romantic life. If you dont agree with it that doesnt mean its your job to fix it.
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My husband said we were together for the kids when I was trying and most of the time we were happy. I went two hours away cause our son was in the nicu. And he bought her into our bed after months of cheating. Then after we came home, continued to cheat and have her in our bed once more. And I had no idea. He acted normal, was romantic etc. So yea any man is going to say he’s only there for the kids. I would have LOVED someone to tell me! But no one did and I couldn’t tell you how I felt. TELL THE WIFE!!!
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First off it takes 2 to tango and you have known her for 3 months. Seems your being judgmental and if you were her friend you’d be having this conversation with her not social media. I agree with your husband.
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Stay away from her. You don’t need to be affiliated with that kind of woman, unless you’re ok with it which it doesnt sound like it to me. If and when his wife does find out, trust me you do not want to be guilty by association.
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It takes two to tango. So why are you blaming it solely on her? He’s breaking up his family too. Why are you leaving the guy blameless?
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Four words. Mind your own business. Not condoning what your work mate is doing, but just tell her you’re not interested in knowing about this part of her private life and just keep it private. If she doesn’t comply, separate yourself. There is no reason for you to involve yourself. The responder above is correct that the married man is also responsible, not just her.
I would tell her how you feel, friendship is also about being honest also. Let her know your opinion on the matter. She is selfish he is no better but she needs to rise above and stop doing what she is doing
Stay out of it. It’s none of your concern. What she’s doing is wrong. But it’s HIM too. Not just her. They BOTH are in the wrong. You don’t need to involve yourself in it. It’s on those two. Not you.
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You don’t know what’s going on with his marriage. His wife could very much be involved as well. That’s starting to become a more common thing nowadays, you never know.
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It takes two to tangle…just let her know that be for sure that what he is doing to his wife with her, HE WILL undoubtedly do to her. Give it time…
Tell his wife if you know who she is, this is un fair to her and child, this will stop it for sure…just be prepared for her to be mad at you…
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You yourself can’t do anything abt it. U can state ur piece but honestly, until the WIFE of the man finds out, it’s not gonna end. Ur friend has no values if she’s dating a married man…
Best to jus mind ya business. I dont agree just like you but it’s her life and her choice.
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Me personally I would tell her how you feel and I would not surround my self with someone like that.
Stay out of it. Let her know you don’t want to hear about.
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Read her some scripture let God’s Word do the convicting. A “religious person” doesn’t equal a saved person!
You should listen to everyone here and stay out of it.
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Don’t say nothing it’s not your business. They will get caught sooner or later
Ask her if it is enough to meet at her apartment? Is this all he thinks she is?
Quit hanging with her & tell this guys wife
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Holly Bloom did you write this? Lmao
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I personally feel there are a bunch of home wreckers in here by the stay out of it and let it continue remarks.
Spill the beans to his wife. Nothing wrong with being a decent person.
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tell his wife! I would wanna know if my husband was cheating 
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Stay out of it, unless you know the wife. I would be furious if someone knew my husband was a lying, cheating dog and didn’t bother to tell me. Sounds like both parties are classless trash.
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Use a fake account and tell his Wife.
No child should be left without a Mother because of this fool.
HIV can still be Deadly for the mother.
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