It’s his body. If he doesn’t want more children that should be his choice. Should something, God forbid happen to either of you, each still has their choice.
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For one, not all vasectomies are reversible - a lot of men form antibodies to their own sperm which causes secondary infertility even when reversed. There is sperm aspiration but IVF has its incidence of neuroblastoma (and high likelihood of multiples if you’re prepared for that) as well. We had it done young after two awful pregnancies and hard upbringings with their medical issues. I regret it, but we always have it in our hearts to adopt should we feel like it’s time for that. I went through the grief several times of not having another baby, but it comes and goes - and it is something I feel wouldn’t be solved by another kid anyway.
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Is it the wish for more first or is it the wish for a baby girl? This is where you need to be brutally honest with what it is you’re wanting and missing so you can figure out how to go forward. I had my third baby and I knew I wanted it to be a girl. He was a boy and a totally awesome one at that. I now want a fourth. I’ve had a lot happen the last two years that when I finally get my fourth I could care less what gender it is. However if I hadn’t been through certain things of it was a boy I’d probably want a fifth just to see lol… I’d seek a therapist and figure out how you can find what it is you’re really looking for.
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I think it’s ok to feel this way. I went through the same thing. I think it has to do with being done with this stage of life and moving onto the next chapter. I loved being pregnant, having my babies and all that came with that.
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Celebrate his decision it means more time he can focus on you and the kids it means more money to make memories as a family and as husband and wife but if you are truly struggling I suggest counseling
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I think you’re just having a hard time because it’s the closing of a chapter. It’s hard to accept! Be open and honest with your husband about how you’re feeling and talk it over with your therapist about how to move on and let go. work on practicing gratitude daily and thank your husband for the sacrifices he’s made already - he’s willing to have surgery! Y’all made a decision together. Our children, as life changing as they are, will never complete us and make us “whole”. It’s on us to do that. Finding yourself in motherhood is hard. Good luck mama.
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Aww I know exactly how you feel. I get your feeling truly. We have 3 sons and my husband made the same decision. The hard part was it was a final thing ! No turning back and lifetime change. I felt bad due to everyone saying you are blessed problem was it was a decision affecting both of us. Taking away choices,opportunities to grow,final. Hard and was angry looking back sometimes you just have to pray and be willing to accept they have a right to make choices based on what they can handle. I wish you peace and forgiveness as you go through this. Pray for understanding
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Why not just have him go to a specific bank and have some saved… just in case you both change your mind
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I mean… if it was the other way around you’d be pissed that he doesn’t support your choices about your body. Wouldn’t you rather it this way than having a father and husband who may resent you and any more children you have. It’s his body and his choice and you have to respect that or your future will be in trouble.
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It sounds like ending things or saying this is my last whatever is the issue for you. I think counselling around acceptance of this is important. Perhaps your husband can hold off on his vasectomy until you have resolved this issue. It is a big one in life, and it comes up repeatedly as we get older. Best to deal with it now.
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Can I just say my hubby had one and we had agreed. It still hits me every time. My head knows its the right thing. My heart disagrees. I feel a little bit sad every time people around me get pregnant.
Your feelings are valid and very normal . On the other hand sex is better when u know there is zero chance of pregnancy. We have 4 and we just can’t afford another child. Mind you our last lot were twins.
Some men don’t want to get the snip. Be happy that u have a good man. Its so painful too. U don’t want to give him an attitude over a painful surgery
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There are many many more first and lasts in your future that will be amazing. The best days of your life haven’t happened yet!
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As women we can’t demand full autonomy over our own bodies unless we allow men the same right. He is done having children, that is his right to decide.
Though yes, you have every right to also be saddened by the finality of the decision.
Reverse the roles. You don’t want more kids but he forces you through another pregnancy and raising a child you didn’t want. That’s something to be angry about. I honestly can’t see why your angry. He agreed to two, you wanted another and he compromised and you got what you wanted. He has every right to say no to more. He has bodily autonomy just as much as you
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You need to get a grip. By your own admission if you have another baby/ babies you will still be resentful, still want more.
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I never wanted kids, now I have 2 (10&13) I could so easily have loads more. My hubby won’t. Hate him for it, but cant change his mind. Totally get where your coming from. Suppose you have to ask yourself, hubby or baby.
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A vasectomy can actually be reversed so it’s no final and your always going to feel this because it seems so permanent but it’s not. And that is his choice. How can you be mad when you guys agreed on three. He is only doing what you agreed on.
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Try to be grateful for what you have, being ungrateful
Leaves one feeling unsettled. Attitude of gratitude. You have Along way to go as a mother it’s not going to get easier.
My hubby had a vasectomy and had it reversed then had it again. I guess there’s always hope that it could be changed if you wanted.
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I feel like there is a hole inside of you that is incomplete, however maybe consider that you have a huge heart and a calling that needs to care give. With that there are many ways to accomplish that… volunteer work with youth, become a social worker, foster home Maybe. You have a calling I just feel like you need to look outside of your home to see where you can help and care for those that need it and have no one.
Maybe your anger and resentment is being misdefined by what he’s doing and it’s more about you. One way or another, one day you won’t have the option to have kids anymore. There is plenty of things that can bring fulfillment.
It takes time to “grieve” this part of your life. I went through this after my third child. Like you thought 2, but then 3. Knew we were done, but hard to imagine no more. I guess I just kept going, knowing for us this was and has been the right decision. This was 32 years ago…
Ignore all these people telling you to be grateful that you have 3 kids already and some people can’t have any….other people’s ability to have children or not should have nothing to do with how many children you have. With regards to the procedure, you need to talk to your husband. As a couple nothing should be done without you both discussing it and agreeing on the best way forward for your family. Your husband should understand your feelings. I also have 3 children and one question the doctor asked both of us was “if something where to happen to your kids (god forbid) would you want to have more children? If the answer is yes you shouldn’t get it done. “
If you guys agreed on 3 kids then u really have no right to be mad at him his body his choice another child wont fix anything the older you get there will be more last things you do thats what happens when u get older you cant control everything in life u just gotta ride the wave n enjoy what u have and stop worrying about what u might not have
I have to say that it is responsible for a man who doesn’t want more kids to have that done and you two, like you said, agree on 3 kids. When my husband got his (our mutual choice after two very planned kiddos), I had teeny tinges of “oh, but this is the last baby, this is the last toddler, etc,” but then I realized that there is ALWAYS a last of everything and that helped me through those very temporary lapses in clear thinking. 
I don’t think it is beneficial to always fear the last; you’re not going to keep on having babies forever. Someone will always be the last. Better to stop when you both are onboard. I know it feels final, but 8 months after my husband’s vasectomy and I am so glad and so at peace with the finality of our choice. Good luck!
Its hard I have 7…had my tubes tied…and wish sometimes that I wouldn’t have…but it passes lol…maybe talk to him and tell him how your feeling
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Well. Since my daughter is a teenager now I’ve been feeling that I’m not as needed. Watch what you ask for because I spent the last six days driving two hours a day and many more sitting with my elderly dad in the hospital and who knows what else he will need. I guess I’m definitely needed again. Not in the way I liked though.
This sounds selfish a bit.
He’s done. He’s your husband.
If your not done with having children then that’s a choice you make on your own. You can’t make your husband have another child if he’s seriously done and for a man to want a vasectomy… that means he’s DONE having children.
A child is 18+ years of responsibilities. If your husband is DONE with going back to square 1 with a newborn then respect his wishes as he respected you when wanting a 3rd child.
My husband wanted to have 5 or 6 … after my second he swears we are not having ANY more and I can respect that lol.
Shit wish my husband was that eager 
tubal ligation it is after I have my third in November lol we both agreed he would once I have the baby and now he’s having second thoughts only cause he doesn’t want his balls violated lol
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Gosh I wish my hubby would do this! 
I would be celebrating girlfriend 
Its a decision you should both discuss together. I am sad that I am getting my tubes tied but I am very open to adopting or foster care in the future 
and one day we will be grandparents 
you never know what God has planned for us 
I think you may be feeling that as the option will be permanently taken away from you when the vasectomy happens and it will be so final. I’m separated 5 years from my husband and he had a vasectomy 6 months after our daughter was born, he made the decision himself and I resented it at first (between us we had 3 boys and a girl) after learning to live with it, I found out the he was with other women. Our marriage ended due to many different reasons, I suppose I never really accepted that he took away OUR choice to have more children.
The positives for you are that you have 3 beautiful miracles and a husband, focus on all the good that you have before you, enjoy every single moment with them, life flys by too fast, you don’t want to miss a thing. Best wishes xx
Well, he could have gotten one without telling you and you wouldn’t know. Would that be better? I think maybe you should talk to someone about your need to collect more. Children are not here to make you feel whole sweetheart.
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We stopped at 2 knowing that’s how many we could provide adequately for,for at least the next 18 years.I never craved anymore.
It’s his body his choice so the best advice is to let him choose what he wants to do and just be strong and love your family and if you are still feeling down therapy can help you reach out to family to vent and talk to
3 is a great number and it’s not all about you my dear. He has a say in this also. Maybe he was content at 2 but wanted to fulfill your want for one more? You can’t keep asking for more and more. Your resentment is a YOU ISSUE and maybe some counseling may help you move past the anger/resentment. He can try to have it reversed down the road if it really comes to that and you aren’t being “fixed” so there are donor banks also. But sounds to me that he loves the family he has and wants to stop at that. There is nothing wrong with his decision. Hopefully you can be happy with the blessings you have and move forward. 
Go to a good therapist. See what unconscious need you are trying to fill with the wrong thing so it will never be satisfied.
It’s ok to grieve the last. I think your husband and you have made a decision to only have 3. Could you get the mirerna or implant because there obviously are a lot of hormones running around your body and 3-5 yrs maybe enough to regulate you.
My body my choice doesn’t pertain to just women. It’s his body and he can do what he feels is best for him.
Maybe count your blessings and turn those emotions you’re having in another direction.
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I have 4 and you know what I still want 1 more the feeling literally never goes away and it’s hard to come to terms
Why not compromise again and use some other form of birth control til you can get your head around it
I’m personally on his side, you said you guys are both done with 3 kids. Go see a marriage counselor or something to help with this issue.
The one with problem is you, and you know that, after your second baby. Look for something else to do, and let your husband do what he wants, it’s not easy for a men to take that decision and I guess he is not very happy with having a big family.
My husband got one after our third . A few years later he was thinking maybe one more , I think we both would have liked one more but we really had all that we could handle. If we really wanted we could have got a reversal. Now I’m in my changes and struggling bc my doors will soon be closed . Not that I want to have a baby I have grandkids, I know rationally we have all we could handle and afford, but my body and brain sometimes wants one! I think that’s because our bodies naturally want to procreate. It’s hard to emotionally deal with . I understand! Maybe agree on the type that’s reversible
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All my husband’s friends made passes at me and said not to worry they had vasectomy I already knew that’s what he wanted one for
You need to search your heart. You say you have 3 beautiful children but you are feeling anger and resentment toward your husband. You are to honor your husband not resent him. He gave you a wonderful family and is taking care of you. You need to look at his feelings and take your eyes off yourself. Go to him and support him like he has supported you. Resentment can only lead to a lot of pain for you, your husband and those three beautiful children.
Salute to the husband, he is smart and he cares for u darling. Mine? 6 is not enough… As if he is the one to labor and take care of the baby
the lasts of some things lead to firsts in others; embrace it! 
A vasectomy is reversible, so bear that in mind. Also remember hon, it’s his body and his choice. I suggest couples counseling if you’re still angry.
Can he freeze some sperm incase in future u ever decide to or just do unprotected until he get it I’d ment be have one more it will be if not then just try ur best to be positive it may be upsetting now but it may be for best ur family may be completed now and just have focus on beautiful boys u have now
Maybe more counseling to get to the root of the underlying issue.
These comments are extremely hurtful, and it’s clear that you are already struggling. Perhaps what you meant is that your family doesn’t feel complete/whole yet. It’s very normal to grieve your last pregnancy and all of the lasts that come with your youngest child.
Let yourself grieve in the way that is best for you.
Talk to your therapist. See a marriage therapist with your husband. Take your time to process and grieve and mourn if you need to.
Again, it is NORMAL to grieve the end of building/growing your family.
Have you priced college or further education for them - each one of those children would like an automobile even if it’s used -And insurance is high
Well, don’t force him not to. It’s almost like a “my body my choice” thing. Men have that right as well. However, vasectomies are reversible, so I’m not really sure why you’re super upset. Have you actually looked into vasectomies? If not, do some research.
So if you really want another baby, then you can get it reversed, or if so be it, ask how he feels about freezing sperm before he does if he doesn’t want to get a reversal.
Your lucky you have 3 already. Focus on raising what you have and be happy.
It can be reversed… don’t get your panties in a wad… an if y’all only wanted 2 children an had 3 that should be good an you shouldn’t hold it against him…
Maybe if you stop looking at it as the “last”, instead replace it with the knowledge that this is only a new beginning.
It’s time to deal with what’s going inside of you rather than projecting onto your husband and having children as a means of being happy. How? Therapy! Whether it be a trust individual that will be completely unbiased, journaling, and praying.
It doesn’t have to be final, many men get reversals done all the time
Remember some vasectomies are reversible! Also there’s the option of saving his sperm in a sperm bank. But maybe talk about it more and find out why your angry…because if you are both done with kiddos why would you be mad?? If you dont want / cannot afford more/ wanna focus on the 3 you have a vasectomy is a responsible choice.
Talk to be him but remember at the end of the day if he doesnt want more kids its his body and his choice to fix that.
You either need marriage counseling or a divorce if you’re not feeling whole.
First off I’d have him wait till at least a month after the baby is born to do it. Just to make sure everything is ok.
Second you can always look into have some of his sperm frozen.
Vasectomy usally are reversible but after 7 years the chances drop dramatically.
Hope that helps!!
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Not to be an ass but you have to get your fulfillment from within not your kids
I have 6 children with my youngest being 1. I really struggled with letting go of this chapter of life. What’s helped me the most is getting into fitness, getting that pre-baby body back. Now I can’t imagine getting pregnant and undoing all this progress. Now the older kids are getting into sports and have tournaments. I’m so looking forward to when the younger ones are old enough to join in and get into something they excel at. Get yourself pumped about this new chapter of life!
You obviously love to be a mom. God bless you! Have you considered adopting or foster caring?
And then what? You’ll have four, five, six? Do not push a child on anyone. They will leave you
I have the same feeling but not to the resentment stage. I love the whole process of being pregnant, baby cuddles, watching them grow even though they drive me crazy sometimes. We had two and I wasn’t finished, we had a third and every time I see a baby I want more. It is a lot of pressure for dads to provide for a growing family. Try to think of it from his point of view too. Maybe use it as an opportunity to find yourselves and your marriage again and enjoy watching your babies grow. I rationalise it as being able to give the children I have quality time, the mumma guilt gets me with being busy and my husband being away all week that I can’t give them the one on one time they need. I’d suggest talking about all the reasons for and against and respect each other’s feelings.
Its ok to want for more but have a baby for the right reason not to fill a void. U need to work on u hun then the rest will fall into place
3 is plenty think of women who can never have a child.
You are struggling with.no more.i got steralized after 5 wonderfull sons.i did feel weird for ages.but i can honestly say i am glad i did.i am a very happy mom.all though they are grown with their own children.please be happy.x
I wish so bad my husband would get a vasectomy!!! I have 5 step kids, 1 of my own from before, and then THREE more together even though i was on birth control. 1st depo shot, 2nd pill AND plan B, 3rd Merina IUD. After him i got tied because he wont n hes a huge pu$$y 
. I LOVE our brady bunch family, so please dont misunderstand. I just wish some part of our huge crazy life i had some say in until i got my tubes tied. In my opinion if hes ready and finished and wants this id respect that and get some kind of cool pet. It seems youre being extremely selfish and i only mean that in regards to the only reason you dont want him to is because that cuts off your own choice, when hes obviously bended and done things your way before with going ahead with a 3rd baby. Just my opinion
Mate be THANKFUL.
My lung collapsed when I tried to get my tubes tied & my man is too much of a chicken to get a vasectomy. I am SO DONE & want to stop having to worry constantly about the possibility of more demons I mean babies.
Can your man talk to my man?
We have 3… on my 3rd I had my tubes tied after my c-section because we were certain 3 was plenty & I didn’t want anymore c-sections. I was happy with my decision but I will say, in the last 6 years there were times I struggled with that decision. I probably would have already had 2 more by now 
Baby fever is soo real and I feel that I will always want another & another. I knew I was done but I think it’s the fact of knowing I can’t that gets me.
Wait I could be wrong but vasectomies are reversible right?
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I’m for one glad my husband will be getting one. We can have sex whenever and not have to worry about another baby. I’m pregnant with number 4 right now and that’s all we need!
It’s not for sure your last baby because vasectomies aren’t concrete!
Your hubs will have to go for check ups every year or two to make sure that no new swimmers came back!
I’ve heard of a few people having babies 4 years after their husbands have gotten it done.
Only way to for sure stop having babies is having a hysterectomy that takes out your uterus and cervix.
It’s his choice and there’s still that chance so just chill and enjoy your family that you have in the moment
Darling, three children will already take a lot of energy and time to ensure they are all loved and well looked after. Don’t make it harder for you and your family, your husband can probably see what you don’t see and maybe your kids could be doing more with you but they aren’t because there is only one of you to share with three kids.
A women’s reproductive clock can sometimes create anxiety and your husband getting a vasectomy means this is it now. Try not to focus on that, instead focus on the positive of having three healthy and beautiful kids and be grateful that he went for a third after you expressed how you felt. He respected your decision and agreed to have a third child so now you respect his decision and don’t make him feel guilty for disagreeing, in a marriage two people will always have moments that we may not see eye to eye and we need to agree to disagree sometimes. He might be feeling a lot of emotions about this too, men can sometimes have a different way to show emotion and might not cry or get worked up in front of others like us women often do.
Each of your kids have their own interests and it would keep you super busy running a household, spending individual time with each child, doing activities as a family, been a great wife, etc, etc. You’ve got your hands full and as they grow they will distance themselves more and more as they will be more independent and rather do their own thing, spend the most amazing time with them now while they are still small as these young years will create the best memories for them, if they feel fulfilled now they are likely to stay very close to you and take your advice when they are older. If they don’t feel that closeness to you they will grow up to be resentful of you and might move out of home earlier than you would like them to and who knows what mistakes they will make. Be their best mother now as these years is what shapes their future with what kind of person they will grow up to be. Be their best so they can be your best and make you super proud 
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Babies won’t fix your problems. If you feel incomplete it’s not your husband or babies job to fix that.
I have 5 kids and never considered my husband having a vasectomy only because u never know if u might want another child when your kids are older so I just got a IUD and we can always have our option if we wanted to change our mind
Your mad at your husband. You said 3 you have 3. Don’t blame him. He gave you what you wanted. Now give him what he wants
His body, his choice? He is done. You need to accept that.
we agreed on my husband having it done,we had 4 kids and felt our family was complete.we love our kids and 4 worked for us we were blessed with 2 girls and 2 boys having more kids is not the answer
Be careful - friend Has an adorable 5 year-old little girl after he got snipped
I wish I could have had children when I was young but my body could not carry them and I miscarried the one I was carrying and here you have 3 blessings. Count your blessings everyday because one day when your sons grow up hopefully they will fill your home with lots of grand children and you have more love than you can handle. So lighten up with the hatred and resentment and just love your husband for the 3 children he has blessed you with. I feel he feels that he has done his job and you yours but don’t continue on the path your traveling or you may lose your husband. Just thank God for the blessings you have received everyday and allow him this right to do what he feels is right for your family. Pray about it and if you cannot come to terms with it please get some counseling. I am a Senior now but I still mourn the fact that I did not receive even one blessing yet alone 3 like you, but I thank God every day for the blessings He did bestow on me in my lifetime and I believe God knew what he was doing when I lost the baby I was carrying and who hopefully one day I will see again in Heaven. I will pray for you that you can find peace in your mind and soul with whatever you as a family decide to do. God bless you and your family
You have three blessings.
Some woman go into menopause early there is nothing that will take the sadness of the last one away . Enjoy the ones you have now
If kids are not for you, then you shouldn’t be a mommy.
Are these real submitted questions or bs stuff that this page makes up?
Cause this sounds like some really selfish bs. Obviously y’all agreed on this so why resent him because you are okay with it
That sex without consequences hits differently js.
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Where you hoping to maybe have a little girl, perfectly understandable. 
Having babies will not fix this issue. Fix urself first.
You have to consider his feelings in this too
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Could he make/not make you have a child/hysterectomy/abortion? It’s his body.
Selfish much? It’s his body his choice. Plan and simple.
If you guys agree down the road to try again, a vasectomy is reversible. In the meantime it doesn’t sound like he’s wanting another one, and personally I wouldn’t want to bring a child into a home where there would be resentment for their presence. Just food for thought.
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Take what god gave you there are a lot of woman that can’t have one and love the ones you have
It’s OK, he’s being responsible, it’s not about your relationship
Get over it!
You have 3 already. Concentrate on them. His body, his choice.
Struggling with the same thing! 
<3 sending love
Vasectomy can be reversed one day if he wants.
I would recommend more therapy.
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