I have been with my boyfriend for 12 years but he has never mentioned marriage: Thoughts?

Ladies I’m tired I’ve been in a relationship with my bf for 12 yrs he never once brought up marriage he never intended to make me his wife I was fine with that but now 3 kids later I want to be more then just a gf I want to be a wife. I do everything for him I go above and beyond for him and my kids but I never gotten the same treatment I give him… tomorrows my birthday and once again, I won’t be getting anything once again I won’t feel loved by him. He would rather work than be home. He would rather be with his friends than with his kids and me… so tonight I packed up all my stuff and I’m leaving. I’m going cause I finally found my worth I’m leaving because I deserve more then what I’m getting. I want to be someone’s wife. I want to take family trips, have family nights, and if I’m crying, have someone wipe my tears and make everything ok. My kid’s father thought that just because he was the provider of the family, that was his only job. Smh… yes, I’m dumb for staying for so long. Yes, I’m dumb for even trying and staying and hoping he would change, but when is enough! Today is my enough I want the meaning of love I want my kids to grow up in a happy home and have someone be there for them as well. So ladies if your in a relationship that’s like mine or somewhat like mine just remember Its never too late to get out there is always a happy ending


Well happy birthday! We share the same birthday, hope things get better for you!

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Proud of you for finding your worth💜 you deserve the world!

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Happy Birthday! Cheers to new beginnings and standing up for what you’re worth & what you want. :heart:

Well sis, I’m glad you are DONE acting like a WIFE to a man that’s NOT you’re husband. BOYFRIEND’S dont get Husband PRIVILEGES!


Thats rude. Her kids can still live a perfectly happy life without her staying in a relationship she’s miserable in. Your own happiness reflects on your children’s happiness,staying in a bad relationship for the kids is never the answer! You go get your happy ending girl and don’t let anyone make you feel badly for it.


I don’t think think you should want to marry him:(


Best of luck to you!
You will be successful!!

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I feel bad for you i hope it gets better for you you deserve happiness happy birthday and good luck

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Good for you! You are such a brave woman and I praise you for how strong you are. Your children will thank you when they grow up. I was with my daughters dad for 6 years and finally I just had enough. I finally feel happy again and to watch my daughter smile more is just amazing. You can do it!! Hope you have an amazing birthday knowing that YOU love you and so do your kids❤️

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Happy Birthday! I’m proud of you for valuing your worth. Don’t be hard on yourself, sometimes it takes a while. <3

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You are mother than a girlfriend you are the mother of his children, you don’t need a piece of paper to define your relationship

Happy birthday! It may be hard at first but don’t give up or give in! I’m so glad you are seeing your worth.

Happy birthday!! Yo go girl!!! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::heart::heart::heart::heart:

Wow, it sounds like you’re living my life exactly.

What matters is you DID IT. Don’t let your mind chastise you about how long it took. Good job, so many women will see this. Wishing you the best and PUT YOUR BABIES AND YOU FIRST.


Currently in a situation like this. Almost 11yrs later, 2 kids, & no ring. I’ve given him an ultimatum & if nothing changes by next spring I’m gone. Sadly tho as much as I’m putting my foot down by next spring I’m sure I’ll punk out like I have many times before. If only I had the strength to let go who knows how happy I’d be elsewhere :frowning:

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sounds like the perfect Birthday present - You got this

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Well I’m proud of you for getting up the courage and strength to realize you’ve had enough. You deserve the world and deserve someone who is gonna show you that you mean the world to them and from the sound of it he doesn’t seem like the one. Happy birthday and here is to new beginnings. Stay strong momma you got this.

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Happy early birthday momma! :heart:

I did the same thing, 15 years of no love and bullshit. But happy to say I found a man that loves me for me and my kids and puts up with my crazy bullshit with a smile on his face. You got this lady!!!

Good job get out you are gonna be just fine💖 I did it for 16 years to make someone else happy good job

Take care of You! You are NUMBER 1

You can do this <3 happy early bday…i wish you all the best <3

So Happy For You…
All The Very Best… Don’t Go Back The Lord Will Give You Many Blessings In Your Life.

Good Birthday Present To Yourself… Well done I can relate to your Story.

Marriage doesn’t equal love, and if you’ve always known he had no intention of getting married, then it’s hard to be sympathetic. Also have you told him how you feel? Or that you want to get married? If you haven’t discussed those things with him, then maybe you should. A lot of men are raised to think that their role is to be the provider and aren’t taught how to satisfy emotional needs. If you have talked to him about it and nothing had changed then yeah leave.

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Good for you!!! That’s awesome if you are happy ur kids will be :slightly_smiling_face:

It will all be ok :disappointed: I walked away from a 8 year relationship with no mention of marriage either , I know exactly how you feel !!!


Stay strong :+1: HAPPY BIRTHDAY and good luck :rose::heart:

A farmer could ever sell his cow if he gave her milk away free to the buyer.

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U go girl! After yrs of this kind of stuff I liberated myself. U will not regret it!!! U r worth it and so r them babies!

Good for you!! Have a Happy Birthday!!

Don’t look back. I finally found my happily ever after after being alone for 12 almost 13 years. If I can so can you. GOOD LUCK AND HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH!

Good for you girl! Go out there and be a bad ass!! :sparkling_heart::sparkling_heart:

Go girl!! He is not good enough for you.

Marriage changes people. Just saying lol

Happy Birthday so freaking happy for YOU may the next years of your life be the best :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart: Never settle

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You deserve to be happy!!!

This reminds me of Cassie and pdiddy she waited a long time to be a wife but he never wanted to marry her and she finally left him and found the love of her life and she’s not happily married with children.

Best birthday gift ever!!! You go girl!!! I know from experience it’s hard af to leave so I’m proud of you!!

Happy birthday to you. First step toward your new future! Wishing you all the love, patience, and happiness the world has to offer!

You’ve showered him all these years you’ll put up with it

The BEST birthday present and it came from YOU ! Im proud of you lady. Like everyone else…he wont realize whats hes got till its gone. WELL ITS TOOOOO LATE NOW. GOOD LUCK in your happy life.

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Best wishes to you! I hope you get everything great that you deserve. Your boyfriend didn’t appreciate what he had and now he’s gonna lose you. Good for you for finding your worth and wanting the best for your children.

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Honestly maybe he needs to see you walk away to change and fight for his family if not you can and will find someone who will appreciate you


It is possible… I am living proof there are men who adore their wife and love to take family trips… Even with step kids… In fact many men are looking to have a happy family also… Good luck… Happy birthday…


I’m proud of you! I made this same decision for myself 2 and a half years ago. There will be times that it will be harder than just staying would’ve been, but there will be a lot more days and moments when you’ll remember exactly how bad it was and you’ll love yourself even more for prioritizing yourself! Keep your head up, find what’s good for you, and happy happy birthday! :heart:

Loved what you wrote except saying you were dumb - you weren’t dumb you had love girl but didn’t get it return as you should have - you got 3 beautiful kids out of it as well and now you step into world wanting and I’m sure soon to get what you have deserved all along - bc you are worth it and so are your kids - so glad you know that you are worth the world and you will get that happily ever after and be treated as the beautiful woman you are. Wishing you the Happiest, most Blessed and Best Birthday ever with many many more to come. You definitely got this sweet lady!


I needed to hear this. Thank you! Bless you and good luck in all your future endeavors and happy birthday!!! :hibiscus:

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Why what for he is already getting the milk


I just want to say your not dumb. You got 3 beautiful children out of the relationship. You deserve everything your asking for. Best of luck.


Well good for you, and happy birthday :birthday:

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You’ve got this mama!!

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You deserve so much more!! Who knows the next man may wife you up quick cause he will know your worth!!

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I’m sorry to hear that. Next time, around 3rd or 4th date let them know exactly what you
are looking for so no time wasted

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Happy Birthday! May you find all of the happiness that you deserve! :heart:


Good on you. You are doing the right thing.

Sweetheart, marriage will not Change him. You are a courageous woman to leave him. Good for you. All good things are worth waiting for …what you are waiting for is, SOMEONE ELSE. Blessings on you and your children. Stand strong Mommy, you will come out the winner!!!

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Well done. Walk tall special lady xx


So beyond proud of you! Praying for you!

You go girl! You deserve to be loved unconditionally by someone!

Why you still there?

Good for you!!! You go girl!!! You got this and I’m so proud of you and so happy for you!!!

There is a reason you settled so far below your dreams. Please take time to find out what damage brought you to such an aweful match. I did and it was well worth the time. No marriage is perfect but they all should have hope. Not every man is capable.

Yes you are very smart you are doing the right thing. It’s time to move on and be happy!!!

I’d get another place to live and leave. Get child support. Its 33 percent I believe for 3 kids

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Best birthday present ever. I wish you luck and hope you find the one that deserves you :two_hearts:


You go girl. Time for you now

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Yes!!! Yes!!! Yes!!! It is never too late to find your happiness! And as long as you can look back knowing you gave your all, there’s nothing to regret. He gave you 3 amazing children but that is not supposed to be your lot. You deserve a man who makes you feel loved, wanted, a partnership, a team! You’ve got this lady! Wishing you the very best xx


You wouldn’t want to marry someone like him run!

You are NOT dumb!! You are strong AF and I’m so so proud of you for going and getting what you want and deserve!! hugs


U r the simpleton that stayed 12yrs. Maybe u should have said something 10yrs ago. :woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming:


Girl you go crush the world!! You got this


Very well said and done! You’ve got this momma and you’ve got all of us to help you through your tough times! Just post and we’ll be there for you! Lots of hugs to you! :green_heart::purple_heart:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!YOU GO GIRL…find your passion and your love story​:smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:


Good for you!!! I did the same almost 2 years ago. Except we were married but there was no family it was my son and I. He always worked and slept he didn’t spend time with us. We didn’t do family things unless I begged him and then he would just be there and be cranky the entire time. There was no love. I didn’t want my son growing up thinking that’s how women should be treated. So I left.

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all your doing by staying is teaching your children how women should be treated by men and the cycle continues

Yasss!! You go girl and don’t turn back. You got this :muscle:

Did this a year ago after 10 yr relationship- best decision in my life. It’ll be hard at first but it’ll get easier, and you’ll find yourself in the process :heart:

I havent read through all the comments, but I understand where you’re coming from. I’ve been with my man since 2012. Were not married, we have an almost 7 year old. Were not married either, I want to be but I will not put myself in the position to make him ask me. When he wants to, he will. Marriage to me is just a piece of paper. But if you’re being treated like nothing then I do agree you should leave. Married or not, you should always feel loved by your significant other, especially after so long. If you’re unhappy, you need to do what you need to do. Dont hang in there if nothing will ever change. Good luck lady❤

Good luck momma! I am proud of you! I hope this next chapter in your life is the best yet! Happy birthday :heart:

Amen best thing I ever did I was with mine for 8yrs same bs 2 kids. Good for you just stay strong it will work out for the better in the end.

Good luck and you will find your happy ever after.:heart:

Good for you! Its might have taken awhile but atleast your doing something about it! Much love :heart::heart:

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GREAT!!! Everyone deserves to have a partner that will love and respect them . and let people know that your his and vice versa!!

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I think you are doing the right thing for you and your kids. I know it was a hard decision. I have been through something similar. :blush: Have a great life.


I am SO PROUD OF YOU!! Happy birthday girl, you deserve the world and you’ll get that now that you know it too! Keep your head up, the road ahead may be rough but it will be worth it! Sending so much love :heart:


You already know that we come to these realizations at some point. He will either come around, or not. Either way, move on and dont accept less or settle for anything less than you are worth. He will be okay. His friends can comfort him.

First, Happy Birthday! Second, good on you for not continuing a obviously one sided relationship. You have to teach your children how we should behave towards each other and if you are not happy you cannot do that. Love is a powerful emotion and we all deserve it. In a pure form. Maybe, your other half will realize the reality that happened with you leaving and understand that it takes two to make a relationship/partnership work. Just make sure you let your feelings be known, someone cant fix what they dont know. I wish you the best of luck and hope you and your children find happiness. :heart:

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Good luck and be happy. You and your children will be happy together. We all need to be loved. x

I am proud of you! It’s hard but you deserve the world!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I wish you nothing but the best!

I’m sort of in the same position but for years I didn’t want to get married because I wanted us to grow up and I wanted to finish college. I’ve been with him since I was 14. It’s going on the 9th year and this year I told him next year I want to get married. I don’t think marriage is a necessity for me but I want to get married. You are not dumb so don’t think you are. You love someone and wanted your relationship to grow and that’s ok! It seems like there is more issues than just not asking you to marry him, but don’t think you’re dumb for sticking around. You got this.

Same situation here. Well sorta. I stayed with my baby daddy for 12yrs. We were engaged at one point. But he took the ring back after one of our MUTUAL friends messaged me asking to pick his xbox up.
He thought that meant I was going to leave him for our MUTUAL friend. My BF was insanely jealous our whole relationship but refused to marry me. We separated in 2016, but remained friends. I ended up moving back in and getting pregnant by him again. But he refused to label our relationship, saying “don’t speak to, look at, talk to any other man but me unless you want him to take care of you like I do” so I stayed faithful and loyal, even tho he would talk to other women behind my back, tell them that I trapped him with our 2nd baby, he was only with me out of boredom, I had moved back in and never left, he never loved me ect. But yet we had a great relationship, slept together ect. He also did nothing but work 12hrs a day and never did anything with us and I was a sahm, no car. I was trapped for 2 years relying upon him for everything. But he never once expressed to me that he wanted me to leave. He would just tell other women that I meant nothing and didn’t love me so he could have the best of both worlds and have another woman there for when he would finally tell me to go.
He ended up leaving me for my bestfriend. Evicted me from my own home, and I had to leave my kids with him cause i have no real place to live.
I’ve been away about a year now, but he’s done so much damage to me that I don’t even know how to be with another man. How to love myself. I’m anxiety ridden and depressed. I have to be in therapy, take medication. Just the sheer thought of the only 2 people I ever trusted, going behind my back and betraying me has destroyed me.
I pray you find happiness just as I pray I find happiness. All I ever wanted was to marry my bestfriend and be the best wife I could be. I wasn’t good enough and I can’t get over it, even 2 years later. Hope for the best for you!

You are so strong!!! You go girl :white_heart: life is too short to be miserable! Go get that happiness :white_heart:

Yes this makes me angry I was with someone for 15 years and we were on a dairyfarm did everything together on that f#*!in farm and not once did he want to take the next step we didnt have kids but I knew nothing about farming at all I was a nurse a gave it all up to be with him he took me for granted no matter how much I could do he expected more so after 15 yrs of white slavery I left him and am now doing a lot better on my own


So proud of you! However, a ring won’t change his attitude, don’t give in even if he promises one now. You deserve someone that cherishes you, and your children deserve to see a healthy relationship!! It will be hard, but totally worth it in the end. Hang in there!!

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You got this! :heart: Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday! get your ducks in a row! Why buy the cow when he gets endless milk. Your his bed warmer, Servent, house keeper! Your worth more! Good Luck on a new adventure for your children and yourself

Me and my bf have been together over 10 years, 1st time was a year back in 2001, got back together have we grew up and became adults. Now we have a 5 year old. We got back together in 2008, moved in with him just after hanging out as friends for 4 months. It was like we just picked our relationship back up where we left off. My bf is back and forth on marriage, he knows I want to be married!! He’s gave me 2 promise rings and we love each other more than anything. We have been through alot together, losing our first kid, his fathers death, and we’ve never cheated on each other or disrespected each other. We have arguments, but what couple doesn’t. He takes very good care of me, bought a house, me a car, him a car, and I take very good care of him and our son. You could get married, and then maybe you end up in divorce. Marriage isn’t for everyone, but if you love that person enough, that should be the thing to keep you together. I have my moments, where I want more, he knows that, but at the end of the day, I’d take him and our relationship survive than get married and it end in divorce and we hate each other and can’t be cordial for our son. Talk to him and tell him how you feel before you make a decision that could ruin what you have.