TOXIC!!! RED ALERT!!! This is not the behavior the children should be seeing. I’d divorce him. He is teaching the children that this is acceptable behavior and by you staying with him it reinforces to the children that this is what love should look like.
All of us women out here at 1 time had 2 realize it’s not that we don’t deserve them … it’s that they don’t deserve someone like us!!!
You’ll make the right decision when you R truly tired enuff’…seems as if you’re only together for the kids…with undue ongoing being str8 shit on.You deserve better… believe!!!
How does this even happen? She must use this time to get qualifications to get a better job and leave. It is obvious he feels trapped and does not have respect nor care for her.
12 years and you are still there? Have some self respect.
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Yall trapped each other with a baby. There was never any love there and yet through expectation yall got married to take care of the kid. He’s there for the kid only. You can leave him and be happy. Hell you two could talk about staying together but date other people. You have options.
Sounds like you have a narcissist on your hand. All they think about
making themself happy. Unless something happens from God he will not change.
As a male it seems as though he was this way from the start of your relationship and you accepted it. Now 12 years you want him to change into something he never was.
As for the loss of your father I am sorry & he should have consoled as least as a friend.
It just seems you had conflictions from the start and it never got better yet you continued.
My opinion it’s time to move on.
Think about what’s right for you and start a new chapter in your life do what makes you happy
It’s time to leave. There is a whole world waiting for you. Take care of you first and exciting things will happen.
Start with therapy for yourself. Have your therapist help you make a plan to leave.
You need to just tell him how you feel and see what he does if he doesn’t respond and it’s time to get out Life’s too short somebody did that to me I would be gone gone gone
well depending on what state you live in why are you still there, if you have a nice body then he is getting some from elsewhere, a guy would be possible
How do I get to message this person privately? Been there and similar situation I want to help!
Get out now I have spent 30 years in a marriage like this and now realise I should of left a long time ago. Don’t waste your time on him you are worth more than that and so are your kids
I’m pretty sure you know the answer to your own question. I was married for 10 years (the last 1 1/2 we were separated) to a man who treated me like of like your husband treats you. Girl, run! Enough is enough. One day I realized just how miserable everyone in my house was. Even my kids. Don’t get me wrong. I tried to fix us. It takes both people actively trying and participating in the marriage to make it work. I tried everything I could think of. But nothing worked cause I couldn’t find it without the willingness of my husband to work on it too. I didn’t want my son to grow up thinking that 5hie was a healthy marriage. That husband’s treat their wives poorly. That huwhnads can do whatever they want while the wife stays a punching bag and does whatever the husband wants. It was awful! I eventually role my now ex husband that we were done. I couldn’t do it anymore. It was scary and very hard, but it was the best decision! It felt so good! You should read “He’s Just Not That Into You”. That book changed my life!
Read back your post as though it was a close friend, or close family member that you love dearly and want to see happy. What would you advise them?
If you re-read your post I think you will have your own answer. If not you will have more of your past in your future unless he ends it
Don’t worry men are men just like candies they are sweet the first time around just like me sex is no longer a fantasy but in my younger years I could do a fucking shit the whole night through.the best thing is your man still with you.
I see three questions asked. ”Am I overthinking this?” No. ”Is something wrong.” Yes. ”Advice?” Seek counselling to see if the relationship can be repaired. If it can’t, prepare well and leave.
My question is why are u with this dude? He got head and kisses from these girls and yet you worked this out!! I don’t get it!!
Oh my !! Its so sad to read …you have to be strong and leave him for your own sanity and the children…you have put up with his crap ,his selfish ways and treats you like rubbish !! You , need to get rid and make a new happy life for yourself and children …its not easy …i have been through this twice …but in the longrun you become a much stronger and happier person ! Good luck xxxx
LEAVE ! my heart hurts for you … no one deserves that. someone is just waitinggggg to give you all the cuddles and kisses you’ve lost out on 
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Sounds as though the effort is on only your part…where there’s smoke there’s fire…for me I would be gone
I think you already know the answer to your question! The question is are you ready to use community resources to make a change before your children lose respect for you? What you desire is quite normal, that is intimacy, but he doesn’t have any to give you, he can’t give what he doesn’t have! What you think of yourself is the most important thing that he uses against you! You must educate yourself about his personality AND yours! Have you researched Narcissism? #askgoogle
Move on and enjoy a life… it is too short to live like you are.
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I’m so sorry that ur going thru this…u hv got to get ur own place asap, dnt tell him ur plans, and divorce this energy out of ur life forever its dragging u, pray for strength start now
He obviously does not care about you. I am sorry to hear about your dad! Take care!
Sounds like you were married to my ex
I’m much happier without him
Girl get yourself together and run don’t walk you deserve respect and attention .find someone who wants to be with you
You deserve better. Love yourself enough to leave him and one day someone will love you for you. Not this guy, he sounds like a loser.
You got your answer,move on,life is to short!!!
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My story just not the text messages. I am leaving my husband,we separated now
Feeling unloved is such a painful thing!
I’m so sorry 
Definitely prepare and move on.
You have got to move on. He doesn’t care. I’m sorry
Move on with your life…
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You deserve better.
You teach people how to treat you…
He’s in love with someone else.
He should’ve been gone a long time ago are you kidding me
you’re miserable time to go better days are coming. 
My dear…prepare now to be independent and alone in the very near future.
Get rid of him! Here’s your sign!
sometimes it’s just time to
go your separate ways and that’s
ok… i left a 10 year marriage with two small kids and don’t regret a single thing… now i’m
married to my true soulmate with another beautiful child… sometimes change is for the better
Bad advice from all these trolls aren’t good you have a feeling he’s not loving you anymore but you haven’t said you asked him where you and he stand. Have your conversation with him and then make your choice all these trolls prove one thing. MISERY LOVES COMPANY
You already have the answer; your answer.
Walk away. No choice.
Please get a life apart from worrying about him!!
You deserve someone who treats you better! Especially when you are grieving your father! There isn’t a limit on grieving ffs. He’s a toxic person and there are no excuses for his behaviour
So you married a narcissist … not uncommon …
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He doesn’t love you and likely feels trapped because of the kids. Divorce him. You can be lonely all by yourself. Someone will come along that’s worth the effort. He’s just not it.
Is that what you deserve? I thought not. Kick his ass to the curb! NOW
what’s love got to do with it?
Girl leave. You deserve better and thats only after Ive read just HALF of this text! I feel whole heartedly for you. Sending hugs x
Self-centered, egotistical, narcisstic individual, seriously not worth your efforts
È chiaro che non ti ama ne ti rispetta ! Che aspetti a mandarlo via ? Mi dispiace molto quando sento queste storie che purtroppo sono tantissime !!
Omg that’s so sad. Leave his ass.
Another Dear Abby moment
Sukhi Kaur ur future.
Yeah that’s fucked up
Get rid why have you wasted all these years with the selfish pig
wat denk je van weggaan
You’re always blaming him for something, from your conversation. It’s you not him, you are a sick silly woman, all you want is a slave for a man, to please you in every way you like, women like you should live alone. Poor man I would leave you alone.
Get out! I wasted 16 years on almost the same crap! Mine got mean, manipulative and very hostile and controlling at the end. Don’t let it destroy YOU. Your kids deserve to see what real love looks like between a man and woman as well. It’s not just about you and him when kids are involved. What kind of example is your marriage setting for your children? How will they treat future relationships when they are grown? How will they allow someone to treat them in a relationship? My only regret about getting out was that I waited so long. I’m fixing the damages he did when I ended it. It wasn’t pretty. He tried or did destroy basically every part of my life… but I’ve still never been happier. The mental damage an unhealthy relationship does is horrible. Please evaluate your situation best you can for you and your kids… to me… sounds like you need to run babe! Feel free to inbox me personally if you need help and advice. It ain’t easy girl… but worth being away from the mental abuse and damage!
I’m so sorry you have wasted 12 years of your life on this horrible inconsiderate gaslighting cold asshat of a man!
you deserve so sooooo much more than this reading this broke my heart, to not feel held by the man your devoting e
your life to is some medieval hell that shouldn’t be tolerated in 2021.
leave him.
just leave there’s no ifs or nuts or w.e leave the wanker and go find yourself xx also good luck to him in yoir divorce with all his infidelitys I hope you Rob the bastard! 12 fucking years woman 12 years! go get your life back!
You Deserve to be loved
Id leave ,hes cheating on you
Please leave girl. I think you already know that.
Leave his ass!!! You are wasting your life and you only get one! Wake up!