Telling you that you have one day to grieve your father is the meanest thing I’ve ever heard. Run and run fast from this man
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He’s shown you how he feels. This is plain neglect. You go find some love girl.
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I think he doesn’t give a shit…cares only about himself and is just dealing with you. So sad but it’s up to u if u continue to accept this horrible treatment. U deserve better.
People cheat at work all the time. It’s time to end things
I think a lot of us women don’t acknowledge that our happiness matters. We’re just either “so in love with him” or stuck in the routine everyday that we hardly notice the little things he doesn’t do, which turns into very big problems. The kids want to see their parents happy, even if that means it’s best for their parents to separate and be happy. Sounds like your husband cares about other women’s feelings more so than his own wife’s. I’m sorry but it seems you know what you need to do but I get that it’s scary and your heart is what’s been having you stay because you might love him or you might stay because of the kids but you’re just wasting your precious time being unhappy when you can find someone who treats you how you should be treated. He sounds like a douche. Leave him. 
Somethings awry! Don’t be so sure about the physical sex. He’s a man, he’s getting it from someone! They are very predictable! And all have one thing in common. That is if they are alive they are fucking something. Sorry to be so blunt. You e already forgave a blow job, I promise you it’s not gonna get better it’s only gonna make you more unhappy. You see clearly you just don’t want to take your blinders off. Believe me I know exactly where you are. You’re gonna spend the rest of your life crying and wondering and you should be laughing and happy and sure of your man.
Why do you stay? Seriously?
Oh hunnnyyyyyyy… If he can pull through for a stranger emotionally but tell you you had your day to grieve he cant stand you. Please go find someone that will treat you like you should be treated. I read these posts and most of them im just like yeah w.e and keep scrolling. This one really hurt my feelings to read.
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You are exactly that… A live in nanny and housekeeper. He stays bc its comfortable and giving other women the attention you so much deserve. Domt tell him just show up with divorce papers and take half of everything of his. I bet he wont be such an asshole when the women hes texting and flirting with see that he has nothing left afterwards. Probably living in a friends basement or something and your off happy living the life youve missed out on for so long. Im not usually the type to say take him for everything but Im sorry this man deserves it.
Leave the selfish pos.Dont waste time on someone you know is incapable of showing love.You deserve better and so do your children…
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Chai Lee I don’t know why, but I love tagging you in these. Also leave girl!
You deserve happiness and love, both things you are not getting. Start living for you!
You need to leave NOW!!! For the sake of your children. I grew up in a loveless household and it still affects my life. I am 63. My parents stayed together because they thought it was best for us, It wasn’t! Your children will be much happier with two Happy parents living an authentic life apart rather than that ridiculous masquerade staying together in misery.
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I’d tell him deuces bitch
- Unless you are literally with him 24/7 you cannot say he isn’t cheating.
- I think it’s time to go find your own love and happiness.
My man is the same way he doesn’t know how to show emotion or console anyone. But thank God i have friends who show love and support. Nothing sexual but they’re always there when I need to talk and without me saying anything they can look in my face and tell when something is wrong. Now I don’t go through his phone so I can’t say if he different with other people.
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One word of advice: RUN. Get as far away from him as you can.
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I think u already know. If u didn’t u wouldn’t want to ask the questions. U already know what u need to do hon. I hope u find happiness soon. Good luck
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His actions speaks volumes. From the outside perspective, you’re gut instinct isn’t wrong. If I were you I’d have to walk away.
Leave girl. Why waste your whole life waiting for someone to love you correctly
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My baby daddy was the same and after years of being there for him he turned around and said he didn’t love me anymore. I lost everything, my house, my car, my dogs, my job. Everything except my kids and a couple boxes of toys and clothes. He never provided shit but it would have been a shit show to try keep, he tried getting me to buy my own car back. I left, but I started fresh and it was one of the best things I have ever done. You shouldnt be with someone who doesn’t see you as their equal or better half, girl you’re better than that, you’re better than him.
That is so much time wasted. Don’t waste any more.
This just pisses me off! Reading this, I hurt for you! Please know that you deserve so much more! You are not overreacting! Everyone in a relationship, should feel loved and appreciated! Do what you need to do to be happy! Even if that means having to leave the relationship! He needs to know that you know that YOU deserve better!!!
Yikes. I personally wouldn’t bother staying. He’s shown he doesn’t want to be with you and hasn’t stopped the cheating habits. I would never tell you to leave and not try therapy, but I personally think he told you non-verbally he’s not interested in making things work.
Take your kids and leave because he’s clearly giving you signs that he doesn’t care about you at all sis
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Leave . Not worth wasting any more of your time on someone who clearly doesn’t love you like you do .
Girl, you need to run. He’s giving you every clue
That’s really sad, really really sad. You deserve to be loved.
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This man is physically and emotionally cheating. I would move on. This man clearly cares more about a stranger feelings than he does his own wife. Put yourself on a higher pedestal and find someone who cares about ur feelings and wonders how ur day is going.
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Seems to me that leaving would be best for both of you.
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What do you get out of this arrangement
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Omg r u married 2 my ex? Bcuz u just described my entire 20 year marriage!! And my ex only went 2 work n back home 2 but he managed 2 have an affair with 1 of his co-workers!! I say 1 very loosely bcuz that’s the only 1 I found out about. I’m sure there were more I didn’t know about. I finally realized he was just a liar a cheater a user and a pig b4 i divorced him. Never been happier than I am without him!!
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If i were you id ask to go to counseling to try and work it out one last time and if he refuses or gets mad then id be taking the kids and leaving. But of course have a plan dont just up and leave. Put money back that you can use to move with. You definitely deserve better after being married and having kids together. 
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How many red flags do you need!? My god all I see are red flags!
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I agree run far run fast and don’t look back.
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Leave him. Sounds like he wants you to leave so he can blame you… Set some money aside and have a plan. Talk to a lawyer before you leave. Get legal advice and know your rights.
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Get out of that “relationship” NOW!
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Girl, you already know the answer here. Don’t fall into the “sunk time fallacy”. You’ve wasted enough time being unappreciated. Don’t waste a minute more.
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I think you know the answer.
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You don’t need advice. You have your answers if you read your post. You need to give yourself permission to feel love and be happy doing what you feel you should do.
You are being so very used.
Please leave him
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So sorry to hear you’re going through that. That’s got to be tough.
… I’m going on only 2 years of marriage and I told my husband I wasn’t happy and I wanted to leave. He was worried about someone else having me more than anything and took me out to eat and kissed my ass for 3 days lol. Just sit down and talk. More in depth about things. We all fall into bad habits. He’ll I don’t even sleep in the same room as my husband. Dueto me being a 3rd shifter. The important thing is coming back together. .
I’m so sorry you are going through this, I can’t imagine the loneliness you must feel. I’m terribly sorry for the loss of your father. I lost my dad over 20 years ago and it still feels like yesterday. I hope that you can find your strength, your fortitude. I’m so sorry and that it’s insensitive to say but your husband is deeply mistreating you. He’s essentially cheated on you multiple times with multiple women and is continuing to disrespect you by talking/texting with other women. That’s not okay! You deserve better than that. I know it’s confusing and upsetting and probably even scary to think of your life without him. But you have to also think about what kind of relationship you are showing to you children. They will grow to think that is how a relationship should be. I always think about that in my marriage. We always touch laugh and kiss. It’s so important to me that my boys see how a man should be to his wife and even more so important that my daughter sees it so she know what to look for in a husband. I want my children to see a happy marriage, one that works together and loves and is affectionate. I know it’s hard to accept what is going on, and you worry if you leave you will be worse off, but depending on yourself and not being ignored and hurt every day is gotta be better than what you are in right now. He’s forever going to be the father of your children but you do not have to be together. My friend, you have so much life to live, go be happy, go live it and get out of this marriage that makes you feel like crap, question your sanity and leaves you empty. You deserve better, your kids deserve better!
He sounds like a worthless divkhead, leave his pathetic ass
Wow you just described my ex husband. We were together 11 years . I left him at first it was so hard but now I can’t remember why I stayed so long the only reason I can come up with was our daughter I didn’t want her to grow up wo a dad in the house. But needless to say she’s so much happier and so am I. I promise you will be happier to if you choose to leave . May take a little bit but you deserve some one who loves you not someone who just wants you there to be a maid.
Texting someone else is a way of cheating if you share intimate details and feelings with them. Some people think it isn’t cheating but it truly is. You can’t trust someone that has done that.
Sorry you are going through this, but that is no way to live your life. If you aren’t happy, your kids are going to see it.
This is so sad bless your heart this happened to my friend she got pregnant within 3 months of dating a bloke he stayed with her because he loved his little boy she never had any love or presents or cuddles! They split up when the little boy was 4 yrs old because she couldn’t stand it any longer even though he was a nice bloke there was no love for her she’s now married to someone els and is so happy! Please leave for your own sanity yes it’s heart breaking but will give you the chance to be in a normal loving relationship I wish you good luck hun xx
If I were you I would play ack up you and the Kids and get the hell out of there .look at what ur kids see thats not that the way to raise them that man ur with does not deserve you you will find true love out there but pack up and leave u deserve so much better
You deserve so much more. If you are this unhappy you’re kids are probably picking up on it too. This man has no respect for you. He has to go! You’ve given this relationship long enough. Time to focus on you and your kids. Sounds like mental torture checking his texts and seeing what he’s say to other women. Best of luck.
For the kids sake try therapy and if it doesn’t work and u divorce at least u know u tried everything. Why keep going if u both want out ? U deserve to be happy and the kids deserve a happy mom
I think you already know what needs to be done. What advise would you give your best friend? You and your kids deserve so much more.
After you’ve talked to an Atty & have your living on your own “ducks in a row”, ask him if he wants a Divorce.
You should both try Marriage Counseling.
Sounds like my marriage to a tee. You sure we aren’t married to the same man? Lol
Get your exit plan together, you deserve better and so do your kids…
You already know why do you need our confirmation? Not trying to be mean at all just realistic. You know the answer so get up the courage to do what needs to be done. Hopefully one day the man who deserves you can come into your life.
This is so sad I want to hug you. You need to leave him and move on with your life. I know it’s scary and will be hard but shit you deserve a hell of a lot better than that! My dad just got stage 4 cancer so I really feel for you with your father…i don’t think your being sensitive or over thinking it…he is WRONG. He should deff been there for you, not his co worker and let you grieve. What a asshole! Someone is out there that will show you true love!!!
Leave him! When you feel something isn’t right, it isn’t. I always swear by that saying, and it is so totally true! 
Yeah 100% something is wrong. Honestly if I were in your situation I would put myself and my needs first and leave him.
He married you because he impregnated you and he was taught that was his responsibility . That’s the way men were raised in the past. He didn’t marry you because he loved you and I’m sorry if this hurts you but, he doesn’t love you now. He’s just fulfilling his duties as a father and a husband based off what he was taught.
He’s never going to be the man you want or need emotionally and you deserve better.
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Get the hell out now its not worth staying he has no respect for you and continues to do the stuff he does because he knows he can
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You already know the answer. Time to take action. Start caring for, and loving yourself. Stop caring what he thinks. You deserve love affection and happiness. He will never ever ever change. Plan first ( very important), then get out of that hellish landscape. Stand on your own two feet, figure out who the heck you are, and don’t go looking for a man to complete you. Be happy and whole alone, and then look for someone who is doing the same.
Start by making you and your kids first, make a plan. Get yourself a support group. When you find yourself and value yourself, that is when you will be mentally ready! Then you strong empowered woman, confront him and help him pack. Tell him it is time for him to change his zip code, get a good attorney. Watch the bank accounts. Start stashing away some cash.
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If you are not happy you should definately leave. It sounds like you are both there out of habit more than anything. It sounds like he had no compassion for you what so ever. I can’t even believe he said that you had a day to mourn now get on with it… Wow. It sounds like he does not want to be there and it not fair for you to live like this. Good luck
All the air left my lungs on this…I can feel your heartache and anguish… there should be no question what so ever in your mind body and soul how this man feels…it isn’t your fault…he did have a choice…you have lived a life of virtual abandonment married to this person…can’t call him a man…get going…you can sort out parenting etc through the court…let that backslider go…NO ONE IS WORTH THAT TREATMENT PERIOD…love yourself enough RIGHT NOW to leap out of there…God speed and strength to you!
Love yourself first! Your husband appears to care very little about your happiness. This has apparently taken a toll to the point where any feelings you once had have evaporated. Try counseling if it’s at all possible but it may be time to develop an exit strategy. Finances are always a concern but depend on your inner strength, the love and help of God, family and friends to uplift your spirits. Moving forward is often difficult but closing the door on this loveless arrangement may be the only path to finding true love and happiness.
Muster up whatever strength you have left and run like the wind ,it will hurt like hell and be hard at first but one day you will be thankful and realise you saved yourself .give yourself a chance at true happiness rebuild start again…good luck 
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You would be smart to leave now. My husband treated me like that for the last five years of our marriage. I was a stay at home mom with four kids. After 25 years of marriage he just left one day. I was 55 years old and my youngest son was only 14. He let the house go into foreclosure. I had no job, no money, nothing. In retrospect I should have divorced him but I was afraid because I wasn’t sure how to take care of myself and my kiddos. It’s been almost 10 years now and it hasn’t been easy but I will tell you I am much happier now. I was alone in a marriage and that is the worst kind of lonely. Wishing you the best.
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There are couples who set boundaries, based on values. These qualities of values keep a family together. Your words, are spot on Beks. Family os everything, giving a childhood worth remembering are on of the values I have for my children, plus many more.
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Start making plans to leave, or to ask him to leave. She should make sure she’s protected financially - see a lawyer if finances allow, or seek help from a women’s group. Based on the entire story (as written), he’s checked out. She’ll be so much happier when he’s gone, although hopefully he’ll continue to be a father to the kids. The worst kind of alone is feeling alone within a relationship. A little therapy is likely going to help this woman, but it seems to me she can already read the writing on the wall.
The children deserve to see what a functional marriage looks like and she deserves to feel real love. She should leave.
You wasted 12 years of your happiness being with this man, you should of left the first time he cheated, now you’re both miserable and you don’t know what you’re missing. Leave while you still can, go find happiness
Well he is def cheating mentally and that’s equally bad to me. I say he doesn’t love you in a romantic way. He will not change. In my opinion you deserve better so you need to move on. I say the first time he cheated he did you a favor then and showed you he didnt care the way you want him to, and you should have left then.
You deserve so much better lady. Know your worth kick him to the kerb! He brings nothing. Do you miss him while he is at work? I bet not. LEAVE. God bless you x
Sorrow endure for a night but joy comes in the morning look unto God the author and finisher of your faith the children that go
There are other ways to be abused than physical pain. He is emotionally abusive. I’ve been in both types of abuse but the emotional side is the worst. When i read your story i had to double check that i didn’t write it in my sleep. Your story is exactly what i went thru. Finally one day i just said enough is enough and left. Best decision I’ve ever made. Good luck
Sounds like his just not into u dear I went through it with my ex husband we divorce it was worse on my kids then he wasn’t happy with his wife after me. So some people u just can’t make happy
He doesn’t love you. No sugar coating it. Someone that loves someone else doesn’t treat them this way. He’s obviously capable of loving. I hope you can figure out the hard stuff (kids, finances, pets) with ease. When you’re ready, you’ll find better. Promise!
It is time to end this charade and have a life. The hard part is over, accepting there is no love there for you nor do you feel any. It is time to start a new journey. No one can make this decision for you, you must do it yourself. Ask yourself, is this worth it? What is the value of you and your children’s emotional health? Is this the life I want for me and for them? Yes, it is a rough start to starting over but you know what, the sun will come up and each day it will make you stronger. Good luck and God bless.
It’s something you all need to sit and talk about. Maybe both of you were forced into this relationship. Who’s to say that he’s waiting on you as well or has been. Another thing is that he already stepped out and you “forgave” him. I use quotations because we really don’t let it go. It’s with us for the rest of our lives. I think you should go your separate ways. Have a civil relationship for the sake of your child. It will be on him whether or not he will remain in the child’s life (I tried and nothing for 15 years now). You have to work on yourself and your child. Don’t stay for the sake of the child you can be doing more damage. And don’t have him try to convince you to stay and everything stays the same. You make sure that you both get professional help if you remain together.
U need to leave him if not for ur sake but for the sake of ur children…they will think this is normal behaviour for couples and will either seek out the same or act that same way to their spouse…they need to see their parents happy they need to see love …do it for them and then mend urself …ur worth so much more x
I’m sorry to say this your husband seems to be a naccarrist in my opinion, you deserves to be treated so much better, he obviously doesn’t care about any of your needs , you deserve to be loved cared for and respected a marriage is meant to enhance each other and both ways , seems your doing all the giving , greif take s year s sometimes more , please start doing and thinking of your needs , you are enough and deserve someone who can love you equally God bless you , be strong ,love you
He does not care about you, you need to leave him, Do not stay one more minute. you can get help from dcyf for you and the kids. That what it is for. You will be happier and have the self respect that he has taken away from you. Let him find out the grass is not greener on the other side. take it from me, I am still in your situation 40 yrs. I put my energies into taking care of the kids. When the kids were grown I found out he had a girlfriend he would travel with. We never went anywhere , I didnt even get a honeymoon. We are still together but I Hate him with every fiber of my being and wasted a lifetime loving this inconsiderate piece of shit.
Sweetheart, you deserve the love you’re trying to get from him. But it’s not going to be from him. It’s time to move on before 12 years turns into 30
I would’ve left him a long time ago, as soon as the kids understood. Sometimes it’s not worth wasting ur time trying to make someone happy when they don’t appreciate what they have. I’m sure he loves a nanny to be there 24 seven but ur not a nanny, ur his wife and he should treat u as such, if not leave him… anybody can survive on ur own. You don’t need a man to hold u back.
Surprise him. Show at work and invite him out to lunch. Put the sexiest thing on but tasteful. See who he looks and then find out how many times he has text her or spoken to her. As far as sex, I would stay as far away from him as possible, besides a girlfriend he might be bringing home a disease. Maybe if he sees you with some of his guy friends or with some guys that you work with, it might make him think twice. I’m not encouraging you to have an affair, but what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Good luck. Teach your child this is not how Husbands and wives treat each other.
Getting pregnant is never a good reason to get married. He married you because you got pregnant. It is time to see things for what they are and ride out. You deserve more
After reading your story I’m not sure why you are confused…
… he’s made it very clear how he feels about you.
My sister-in-law once mentioned to me that it was less expensive to keep a wife you dont want,
Opposed to divorcing wife and have to pay support, sell houses etc.
Also it’s nice to have someone to hold down the fort, do the laundry, do the dishes, cleaning, , cooking, set the appointments… you are being his personal assistant and house manager as opposed to wife.
If you stay with him your sons will grow up learning to treat their wife the same way. And your daughter will grow up thinking it’s ok to let her husband treat her like you are allowing yourself to be treated. And hopefully you do not want that for your children.
Everything you think you want and need from another is already invested in YOU. And that goes from needing answers you already know deep down within (self), to talking yourself out the truths. You hold the key Beautiful Butterfly 
Not judging at all but I think you already know the answers to your questions…from a male prospective, he’s mentally checked out a long time ago and if you’re not happy then it’s time to leave… no point on wasting your life when you can still find that true love
Its sounds like you guys married young… the very first time you guys had sex, you got pregnant? He may have felt resentful for “having” to get married. I’m also assuming that you guys “tried to give it a go” to work your family out, and it’s just not working. Try marriage counseling but prepare for a divorce where you both can finally be happy.
So sorry you are in this position. I think you know the answer. You just are not ready to accept it. Take your time and prepare yourself. Both mentally and financially. ((Hugs))
I think you’ve answered your own question honey, he obviously doesn’t care. Best thing to do is walk away, it will be hard at first but I guarantee you’ll both be happier. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Xx
Would you want your kids to be in the same kind of relationship?
You know the answer. Be strong, leave his ass, get better.
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Leave your worth more than how he is treating you. Dont allow your kids go though this either because kids see and hear alot more than we realise. Wishing you the best x
You deserve do much better, kick him out and never look back. Ask God to give you strength and courage and he will. Get into good support group and I will be praying for you!!!
He is emotionally abusing you, and emotionally and physically cheating. If he received oral and kissed girls, sorry but it’s still happening…especially with him this miserable with you. He clearly doesn’t care about you at all based on everything. You are in that deep that I know it’s hard, but you have to try to do whatever you can in order to leave him. He will not stop! You deserve better!
You’re being literally mentally abused you have low self esteem undoubtedly you don’t love yourself so why should he. 12 years really life will continue to pass you by unless you decide for yourself to live. You’re being used. So make your own decision
Red flags. Sounds a lot like the last guy I dated. And he was sleeping with his female coworkers. You need to end the relationship.