I Have Completely Lost My Sex Drive Since Starting This Medication and I Feel So Guilty: Advice?

Mother's Health
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QUESTION:

"Please, no judgment. It’s already embarrassing to have to ask strangers about this, but I don’t know who else to go to. A couple of months ago, my doctor started me on Zoloft (sertraline). Everything was fine at first, but now I have no sex drive at all.

Like, I could never have sex again and be completely fine with it. I feel awful because I know my husband feels like I don’t want him anymore. He hasn’t tried to guilt me or anything. He always just says he understands, but I still feel so guilty.

I don’t want to feel this way anymore, but I also don’t want to go back to feeling anxious and depressed 24/7. I see the doctor at the end of November, but is there anything I can do until then? Thanks in advance!"

RELATED QUESTION: Is it normal to lose your sex drive after you have kids?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

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“Unfortunately this is a common side effect with psychological medications. Open communication with your doctor is key. There are many different types of antidepressants that could have less sexual side effects. Even though the appointment isn’t until November, it may be worth a call to the doctor to see if medications can be changed.”

“I took Zoloft for years and had the same problem. I went to my ‘hormone dr’ (he takes care of my thyroid meds for me) and he put me on testosterone (for real it’s AWESOMENESS) now I don’t need the Zoloft, I feel happier, and my sex drive is back… just something for you to think about.”

“Try another medicine. It’s possible to take meds and not get the nasty side effect of no sex drive. You just have to find the right one. I’m on Wellbutrin and it’s great!”

“This is a very common side effect for many of these types of meds. Just let your doc know and they will change up the med.”

“I HAD THE SAME ISSUE. I was never in the mood. I felt horrible. I wanted to have sex with my husband, but just couldn’t. I had to change medicines because it got so bad I didn’t want to be shown any physical attention and after I got used to it, it stopped working on my depression/anxiety. I think Zoloft is a crappy medication in general, but that’s just my personal opinion, psych meds are different for everyone.”

“I would call your doctor and let them know since taking Zoloft it’s affected your sex drive. They can lower the dose, or even change to something else. It’s a common problem with not only that medication but for others as well.”

“Thank you for asking about this! I’m also on Sertraline and it definitely has ruined my sex drive. My fiancé understands but it really sucks!! I’ve also gained a LOT of weight because now I’m not energetic as well (since taking the medicine). Now I know I’m not alone and will be reaching out to my doctor!”

“When I was taking anti-depressants I was on escitalopram, I’m sure I spelled it wrong, but it’s the generic of Lexapro and it didn’t have any effects on me. If I can give you some advice, find things you like doing that gives you some peace to where eventually you can wean yourself off of it. If I’m feeling depressed, I keep a journal and write about it, or go for a walk or exercise. I was able to get off my antidepressants by doing this because I didn’t want to rely on a drug to keep me happy. I wanted to find my own happiness good luck to you.”

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47 Likes
2

Zoloft is bad about reducing sex drive. I had the same problem when i was on it and never figured out how to get over it. That is one of the listed side effects of the medication in the patient information pamphlet. I would definitely recommend discussing this with ur doctor but i really have no idea what might help in the meantime

1 Like
3

Ask your doctor to change your meds. I was on serlatine too & switched to another Med for this exact reason.

2 Likes
4

Many anti depressants snuff the sex drive. Work with your Dr. to find the right one, the one that balances both.

5

Stop taking the prescription drugs… in a Sexologist and Sex Therapist…I’m please…I can reach out to you.

1 Like
6

She needs her meds the Dr can change it

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7

If you feel like any type of med isn’t good for you, see your Dr about it and change it asap. There’s no point being on something that changes you.

8

Antidepressants can actually cause a loss of sex drive, zoloft being one of them. Your dr can change meds and find the right one. Best wishes

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9

Don’t just stop taking the medication because you will withdrawal, thats what happened to me. Talk to your Dr! And consider a therapist because medication isn’t going to fix everything for you, you have to work to understand the issues and work on being better

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10

I haven’t had sex in one 18 months. I’ve tried but not working

11

You do need to keep taking your medication, don’t worry too much about your husband, he loves you and knows it’s down to the medication. You’ll be able to switch easily enough once you explain to your doctor after all you need to have a happy life along with feeling like you xx

12

Try to get an earlier appointment with your doctor . To discuss this .You may need to try a number of different medications / dosages before you find one that works for you .
In the meantime.,do try to maintain the intimacy with your husband ( hugs , cuddles etc ) & maybe talk to him about other ways you can please him .

4 Likes
13

Zoloft did the same thing for me. I’m on Wellbutrin now, much much better

1 Like
14

Zoloft unfortunately does this.

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15

Medications can have very strange effects. You’re doing the right thing by telling the doctor and you are very blessed to have a husband who cares about you. Sorry I don’t have better advice but I do think it will be fine

16

Call your doctor don’t wait to see him

1 Like
17

You don’t know who talk about it??? Talk to your doctor!!! :woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming:

2 Likes
18

Zoloft done this to me, but Prozac didn’t. You just need to discuss it with your doctor and see if they can try you on a different med.

19

It can take a few months to level out with a new antidepressant. Give it time. Just because you don’t feel like having sex doesn’t mean you can’t be intimate with your husband. I suggest lots of hugs/cuddles, reassure him that you still love him, thank him for helping you through this difficult time. As a side note, if you and your doctor decide to change meds don’t let them put you on effexor. I’ve been on it for years and the side effects are horrible. If I’m even a few hours late taking it, I go into withdrawal and it’s BAD. Also it’s almost impossible to get off of it.

20

Some people find that going to the gym or doing regular exercises and do some intense exercise can help with you libio(BUT WHILE YOUR DOINGTHIS STAY ON YOURMEDICATION TIL YOU SEE YOUR DR.), also yoga and possibly meditation, and of course do you best with healthy eating habits. Its ok to have some days where you crash nust pick your self up and try again. And make sure you explore things that you enjoy doing you need to look after you 1st before others. You’ve got this and you’re not alone stay strong and positive :sparkling_heart::star_struck:.

2 Likes
21

Try Wellbutrin. Zoloft killed me made me feel like a zombie. Wellbutrin has worked amazing for me.

22

Have them try another med. Zoloft made me feel terrible.

23

Have sex with him anyway you are his wife. Don’t both of you do things for the other person even if you don’t want to like cooking or cleaning? Sex is the one thing your spouse can NOT get from anyone else. If he tries to get you in the mood do you at least try to get in the mood or are you just like don’t touch me? Try it. If he is willing to eat your pussy have him do that and then fuck him.
Talk to whoever is prescribing the Zoloft about it.

1 Like
24

See if there’s a lower dosage you can take?

2 Likes
25

Unfortunately this is a common side effect with psychological medications. Open communication with your doctor is key. There are many different types of antidepressants that could have less sexual side effects. Even though the appointment isn’t until November, it may be worth a call to the doctor to see if medications can be changed.

4 Likes
26

Ive been on Zoloft for 6 years. My doctor told me to give the medicine time. It doesnt get any better with time.

1 Like
27

I was like that with Zoloft…I’m on Lexapro now and it’s not nearly as bad.

28

Thats what I started on. Just like you everything was fine then it was just gone. I had to tell my dr I had no libido. They got me on a different pill. I haven’t taken them in a while but if you are going to try for a different pill go ahead and ween yourself off them. Well, that’s what I did and the dr was thankful for it. Just know you are not alone

29

You will go through your phases but yes take a low dose and take it at night after sex

30

I was on Zoloft years ago and it messed up my sex drive so bad . I’ve been off of it for 3 years and I still don’t have a sex drive 99% of the time

31

Try another medicine. It’s possible to take meds and not get the nasty side effect of no sex drive. You just have to find the right one. I’m on Wellbutrin and it’s great!

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32

Common side effect speak with your dr regarding it. They may be able to lower the dose or tapper you off this and get you on something that doesn’t effect your sex drive.

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33

I would call you Dr and let them know since taking Zoloft it’s affected your sex drive. They can lower the dose, or even Change to something else. It’s a common problem with not only that medication but others as well.

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34

I was on Zoloft and gained alot of weight- no energy try Wellbutrin - it has changed my life!

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35

It’s a common side effect but if it persists you can ask your doctor to add in Wellbutrin. That seems to counteract that side effect.

36

I take Zoloft and don’t have issues with my sex drive but I have no energy

37

I was put on latuda and I didn’t have a period or sex drive for 2 years I just got off it a couple months ago and I had a period and sex drive back

38

I took zoloft for years and had the same problem :confused: I went to my “hormone dr” (he takes care of my thyroid meds for me) and he put me on testosterone (for real its AWESOMENESS) now I dont need the zoloft, I feel happier, and my sex drive is back… just something for you to think about

4 Likes
39

I HAD THE SAME ISSUE. I was never in the mood. I felt horrible. I wanted to have sex with my husband, but just couldn’t. I had to change medicines because it got so bad I didn’t want to be shown any physical attention and after I got used to it, it stopped working on my depression/anxiety. I think Zoloft is a crappy medication in general, but that’s just my personal opinion, psych meds are different for everyone :sparkling_heart::sparkles:

1 Like
40

It can just take for it to change. I switched to venlafaxin and didn’t have that side effect anymore. Just talk to your doctor!

41

There are other medications. Talk to your doctor. I’ve been on effexor for 13 years and it’s the best I’ve felt in that area.
The only thing I don’t like about effexor is that it has very quick and obvious withdrawal effects. If I forget to take my medication in the morning, by 3pm I start to feel jittery. By 5pm I feel a bit nauseous and it quickly turns into feeling like I have the flu. But that is the only side effect.

42

I second Wellbutrin, helped with my energy and helped my sex drive as well. I’ve been on countless meds for depression and that seemed to help the most :slightly_smiling_face:

43

Very very common problem with both Zoloft & Prozac … Try Cymbalta or Celexa… I never had an issue with either of those. I wish you luck :purple_heart:

44

You will have to go on something different and you can always see if you can get an appt sooner.

45

It’s common! You can ask for a different med

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46

That side effect made me stop taking it.

47

It affected my husband’s sex drive as well. He called his doctor and they changed him to something else and he’s fine now. Just let your doctor know :slight_smile:

48

Thank you for asking about this! I’m also on Sertraline and it definitely has ruined my sex drive. My fiancé understands but it really sucks!! I’ve also gained a LOT of weight because now I’m not energetic as well (since taking the medicine). Now I know I’m not alone and will be reaching out to my doctor! :slightly_smiling_face:

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49

Ask your doc @ duloxatine. I’m on it. Works well. My doc prescribed it for depression when my dad died. Found it works for my fibromyalgia also.

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50

My husband lost his sex drive after a brain injury. For me, it was really bad. I didn’t know if we could have a relationship without sex. It ended up coming down putting sex on the calendar, and we do it that day no matter what and Finding ways to be intimate when penetration wasn’t an option. Things have leveled out now, thankfully. But it was a really hard year or so.

Side note. I love my Wellbutrin. I’d get anxious and cry all the time, before I got on it. Now I feel like a different person. I don’t notice any side effects, except that I’m hungrier when I forget it. And cranky again after a couple days without it

51

That’s one of the side effects of that medicine! If your doctor shows you the chart of all of the medications I think it’s +2 or +3 in that area! BuPROPion is one of the few that don’t effect your sex drive and cause you to gain weight! I’m very close with my doctor she is the best so she allowed me to look at the chart and she was super honestly about all of the different effects of all of the medications.

52

I had this issue, along with many other issues when I was on the depo shot. I thought I would never want to have sex again and the thought of that was depressing. About 4 months after I stopped getting it, my sex drive came back and most of my other issues went away. The depo is the devil in my opinion. But yes it’s definitely a possible side effect being on birth control. I never got back on anything and I do natural family planning which has worked for the last 7 years. Takes a lot of responsibility and seriousness between both partners tho.

53

Look into the vitamins which are depleted when taking this medication

1 Like
54

Im sorry your having this issue. This is a very normal side effect of Zoloft. I tried it once for about a month and a half, in that time frame I didn’t care about anything, nothing I interested me anymore not even my normal day to day enjoyments. I had to quit taking it all together.

55

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1 Like
56

I am in effector for over 20yrs. Hasn’t helped me a whole lot with my temper and the depression. My doctor took me off of it and tried me on something that made me feel really sick. I am back in Effexor and still have bad breakdowns.

57

Thats a side effect unfortunately. Switch meds

58

Definitely switch your medication. The side effects aren’t worth it. Have you tried taking Lexapro? It’s great!

59

I’m on the same meds and I still have a sex drive but it’s definitely not as high as before :sweat_smile: but I don’t mind it , I was a sex freak LOL! But let your doctor know for sure ! Maybe she can try you on something different but It was a symptom she warned me about it and I laughed not believing her, until it actually happened !

60

So let’s ask strangers instead of my doctor because we can’t all be that different right? Medical advice is so poorly given. Like going to a bar and asking the bartender for a surprise drink.

61

I’m glad it sounds like your husband is understanding. My partner has been the same way just in my pregnancy because the issues I’ve been having has caused a very low sex drive. Definitely talk to your doctor. You might even be able to call and tell them the issues you’re having over the phone and they might change it. Doctors take this stuff to be serious, so there shouldn’t be any issue getting your medication changed. Never feel embarrassed to bring it up. It seems like alot of people had the same issue and had to change medications. Good luck to you, and I hope everything works out!!!

1 Like
62

This is a very common side effect for many of these types of meds. Just let your doc know and they will change up the med.

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63

I am currently taking Zoloft i havent lost my drive but the abilitly to orgasm isnt there

1 Like
64

You are now being healed from that disease in Jesus name Amene

65

I would say to switch meds. I also took zoloft and had this side effect. I switched to celexa which has the same effect. I slowly weaned off and it eventually came back but it took awhile.

66

Get into the doctor sooner. There are lots of meds that can be used to counteract this problem

1 Like
67

I think all antidepressants have the same side effect

1 Like
68

Zoloft for anxiety and depression? I was on that stuff , it made my symptoms worse. Sometimes stress is confused with A and D. I suggest try Wellbutrin instead of Zoloft check with your Doctor

2 Likes
69

Its incredibly common you may need another medication with it to make it easier

70

My meds stopped working almost 2 years ago and I was hospitalized. The same thing happened to me no sex drive what so ever. I’m not on Zoloft but I talked to my Dr and he put me on wellbutrin. It has helped but I’m not like I was before. Definitely talk to your Dr. I know it’s unbelievably frustrating. Hang in there :sparkling_heart:

71

It is a side effect unfortunately. I’m on cymbalta and that one doesn’t seem to have that effect on me. Also I’ve found that if you don’t do it you lose interest. You may just need to schedule time to be intimate as weird as that sounds.

1 Like
72

It is a normal side effect of taking zoloft. Right now I have no sex drive at all. Partly because I am sleep deprived from having a six month old. I wouldn’t be able to change meds until I am done breastfeeding. It is one of of the antidepressants that has minimal transfer in milk

1 Like
73

I 100% lost my libido after my hysterectomy. I feel bad too. Sometimes I just participate because I love my SO and know it makes him happy, though he totally knows and understands that I don’t care AT ALL about sex anymore. It’s always a tough situation when either party in a relationship has a change like that, but it’s something that you work on together with them. You can always check with your doc about alternatives but mental health shouldn’t be put to the side over it either. I wish you the best of luck, it certainly can be challenging and everyone is going to have a different experience with it, but hopefully you can find some answers to better your situation.

5 Likes
74

I am right there with you! No need to feel embarrassed that’s what these groups are for. It’s been about 2 years for me and my husband and I work through it… some days are better than others… I chose my mental health and he understood. Hopefully you find the right answers

75

Talk to your doctor and see if they can switch you to a different medication. I was on Zoloft before and I had the same issue. I am now on Wellbutrin and that seems to be a lot better for me. I’ve been in your shoes and know how you feel. Good luck and I hope it gets better for you!

9 Likes
76

It’s really common with that medication. You can definitely discuss with your Dr and let him/her know that it’s become an issue. There are a few others that might not make you feel so blah in that area. I’ve had better luck with Cymbalta but everyone is different. Good luck to you :hugs:

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77

It’s very common with antidepressants. Prozac seems to have helped me personally and an unexpected side effect for me was no more lubrication issues! It’s been great. Maybe consider switching meds.

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78

Its, unfortunately, a common side effect of those medications. You could try a different family of medicine and see if you do better both emotionally and sexually, and don’t be afraid to keep trying until you find the right one for you. It could take a year or more, but don’t settle until everything feels right. Having been on a list of different meds like that, there is one that will make you feel like the better version of yourself without the side effects you dont want.

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79

Sometimes the mg can be to much talk to your dr about that also check into getting GABA if your taking it and go down on the mg of your medication the GABA can help it everyone’s body acts differently but that’s what I had to do

80

It is a side effect of antidepressants unfortunately. Most of them cause that problem, ask the Dr if there’s anything else you can take or look into something else that can help with anxiety.

2 Likes
81

I have dealt with this for years. I find it helps to think more positively about it. I love my husband enough to give the effort, when I put forth the effort I find I do" benefit" in the end. We both win with a positive thought and just do it attitude. Start with once every weekend, may even plan it so you can prepare your mind. It does help and is worth it.

82

Totally normal side effect! Ask your doctor if there is another medication that might be better for you!

2 Likes
83

Unfortunately it’s a side effect of Zoloft. A guy I was seeing had the same issue and it affected us

1 Like
84

I was like that with Prozac. I switched to Cymbalta and increased some anti anxiety meds.

85

Take a shot once a month of estrogen and a shot of b12.it will do wonders I promise.
They have a form of estrogen that doesn’t cause cancer.you will feel amazing.
Talk to your doctor.or get a gynecologist. They will know.

86

There is tons of anti depressants out there talk to your doctor Zoloft may not be for you.

87

Talk to your doctor about a low dose of birth control. I just got put on a low dose of birth control to help with some nexplanon symptoms and my sex drive got better (it was already fine but def increased) it may help

2 Likes
88

Im glad to see it wasnt just me I went off the medication but am making a dr appt to start again the anxiety is just to much

89

My sister has been on Cymbalta for years. Suffering from depression myself. Sometimes it is a symptom from your depression itself.

90

Most antidepressants do this but when I was having trouble with Zoloft my doctor lowered my dose and add Wellbutrin to combat the sexual side-effects. Eventually, I was able to stop both completely after a year of CBT.

91

My advice is to say hey this isn’t working for me can I try something else or can you recommend something to combat the side effects. This is a big deal and you don’t need to be embarrassed.

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92

Years ago I was on Zoloft, wellbutrin XL was a better fit for me . Finding the right medication is about trial and error. If taking away from your life it’s not the right one.

93

Maybe give yourself a personal warm up? Stimulation before try to be intimate may help until november

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94

Always talk to your doctor, because that med might not be for you. Each person reacts differently to meds. Make sure you write down all of the effects you feel and share, because that will help the doctor find the right balance for you.

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95

My husband was put on this and had the same problem. We dealt with it for 2 years before his dr finally put him on something else.

96

It will pass. I went through the same thing when I first started zoloft. Give it a couple of months…

97

I take the same meds and I don’t have that side effect thank god. Are you on a high dose?

98

Ask your doctor to try a different medication such as buspar or wellbutrin.

99

I would message your doctor through my chart and explain the situation. Ask for another medication.

100

I too had to switch to Cymbalta it was one of the best things I ever did