I have lost feelings for my husband: Advice?

I think it’s worth giving it another shot to be fair to him. Like make an effort to go on more 1x1 dates and getting to know each other again. Date again like when you first got together. Maybe counseling to see if there are underlying issues. And if In the end you still have those feelings I don’t think there’s any shame in voicing that and going about a friendly/cordial separation. You both deserve to be happy. And you both won’t be staying in a situation like that.

3 Likes

If u have lost feelings and want a divorce to be separated.
Make sure that’s what u want even in the long run.
Because gong back and forth is not worth it . It will cause more damage for him ,if hes the one wanting to work it out and u want to leave.

Now if u think yall can rekindle yalla love and feelings, go for it.

But if your done be done.

Look up Challenge Adventure. #couplesedition.
I’m telling you, its a relationship saver, no matter what the struggle is.
We’ve fallen in love all over again after purchasing the book.
Scratching a spontaneous date.
Being silly. Learning about eachother.
You think you know someone. But as time passes we all change. And its nice to meet them all over.
Best luck.

3 Likes

Dont just “try” if its gonna be fake attempts. It not fair to him

Is it feelings or attraction you’ve lost? Clarify!

If you’ve lost feelings and aren’t interested in “making things work”, then get divorced. There’s nothing wrong with admitting you’ve grown apart or aren’t right for each other. Don’t settle for less than what you deserve or settle for less than true happiness because your husband doesn’t want to split.

2 Likes

Maybe you & him can try to get a weekend away or go on a romantic date. Sometimes the day to day becomes mundane & boring. But if he is a good guy hang on to him & see if you can bring the feelings back :slightly_smiling_face:

2 Likes

If it was the other way around wouldn’t you want him to try.

5 Likes

You fall in and out of love with your spouse… so if you move on it’ll happen again with the next person. If your husband is worth the work I bet you can and will fall in love again with him! Also I’m not sure how old your kids are but you might want to consider that you have postpartum depression or depression otherwise related to hormones from being pregnant and having children. Before you divorce your spouse make sure your mental health is in check, your hormones are balanced and so on. It’s OK to make things work and its ok to get divorced.

6 Likes

A marriage isn’t perfect. But you have days that make you feel you don’t love each other. Some times it happens. But you married him for a reason and you fight for that reason. Do things you did when you were first together. Work on it. Don’t give up your marriage that’s to easy.

5 Likes

I believe til death do us part unless abuse is a factor. I would say try counseling first and then try to rekindle what was lost. Why throw away a decade and a marriage without trying to see what went wrong and trying to fix it. Children take the biggest toll on a relationship and it ends up being more about them than us. You have to remember to take the time for your spouse and yourself as well.

7 Likes

How much does he help with housework and kids? None? I don’t blame you.

4 Likes

I think that’s pretty normal. I’d try not to force it but don’t shut him out. Go on a couples weekend trip. Get a room with a hot tub and learn to fall in love again.

1 Like

Love isn’t a feeling- it’s a commitment

11 Likes

I believe anybody can get the flame back. It’s feelings… you first met him you didn’t have feelings… they can come back. You both have to want it and work towards it. Your married might as well try? You said you’ve been happy… no troubles… so it’s you… you have turned them off… why?? Are you fancing somebody else? Just remember the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Wish you well.

1 Like

You go to counseling and make it work? What do you mean? It’s been good and he wants to make it work AND there’s kids involved? …love is a choice.

7 Likes

Fight like hell for your marriage. If he is a good man, hold on with both hands. Do the work, you will most likely love him again

7 Likes

Either you can do the work to maintain a life long relationship, or you can have a lazy, carefree single life. You just can’t have both. 7 to 10 years is when most people have to make that decision. Time to step up or step off. But if you walk away, don’t expect to do this again to someone else.
A throw away society makes for throw away marriages. Nobody want to take the time or money to fix anything anymore. :unamused:

6 Likes

Marriage does take intentional effort. It can be fun even, not just work.

Sometimes I put myself in the bar where I saw my husband for the first time in my head. And how we started things. We argue and make each other miserable from time to time but that moment… that magical moment always makes me giggle lol and somewhat feel lucky that we actually managed to get married after all those hard times! (He was a military guy so seperation)
Try to go back to your happy romantic place with your husband! Hope it would help!

2 Likes

Take date nights. Love has nothing to do with feelings because they tend to change often. Love is a committment which is why we take vows in the first place. You vow for the good and the bad. This time can pass but your mind has to be open to it. It can not be better with his efforts alone. It takes two to make it work.

9 Likes

Everyone needs to stop with the leave him crap… grow up and work on it. A marriage isn’t about being fun and perfect all the time. You feel in love with him for a reason, find it. The way it sounds is he didn’t change so why punish him and your kids by leaving him. You changed. Stop worrying about the little things and thinking about yourself. The word is “in sickness and in health, till death do us part” you said that once.

12 Likes

For most marriages its always that 10 year mark …

Uhm try doing something and not just giving up. That’s what you should do. 10 years is along time and you said it didn’t suck. I would have really examined my thoughts and feelings -have my needs changed am I looking for a new job something before I would have dumped that on another person. That’s a lot especially if things were going well. I guess if you don’t feel that amount of time and children together warrants some kind of attempt at reconciliation than I guess you just get a lawyer and figure out how to get out legally.

2 Likes

I cheated on my husband for 3 months.After said and done I fell in love with him all over again bc he didn’t give up on us when I did.Its amazing what love can do.If u are not happy though do not stay.If u decide to return and are happy again then u know hes the one for you❤

3 Likes

Did you lose feelings for him or did you find feelings for someone else? Id would say dont make a permanent decision on what could be temporary feelings. Give it some time and a chance, especially if he wants to try for it. Goodluck

4 Likes

That makes you normal. It is not unusual to basically grow apart and then come back together. Tends to run in 7+ year cycles. So create some more romance. Make dates. Spend time together. Remember what attracted you to each other, and find new levels of connectedness. It is there, if you want it to be. Been married 43 years, together 46 years and we are both here because we want to be. But know what it is like to fall out, then back in.

4 Likes

Talk to your husband only you can decide what needs to be done.

1 Like

I remember reading a quote by someone (I think Eleanor Roosevelt, but I may be wrong). “Marriage is the glue that holds us together when we fall in and out of love”.

5 Likes

Think of this. If he died tomorrow, would it matter to you?

2 Likes

After 2 kids and almost 12 years for me and my husband I will say that I feel like we don’t do enough together. We just do our day to day, work & kids come first and we never do anything for us. We don’t do date nights, we don’t even watch the same TV shows anymore. Rarely do we sit down together to eat dinner as family. For us I think it’s just more about we’ve gotten bogged down in the day to day of just getting by and we need to get focused of things we can do together. If this sound like yall, I’d say you should try to work it out. Start dating again, make time for each other.

5 Likes

What are you “lacking” from him that made you not love him anymore? Sounds like he’s willing to work on whatever the issue is on your end. If the marriage is “perfect,” my advice would be to try every possible option before walking away. Voice your wants and needs, but you also need to listen to his. Work together not alone. Marriage is not a one way street. You both need to compromise and meet in the middle. I was where you’re at not long ago. I just didn’t feel it no more. We didn’t even sleep in the same room for months. But we both decided to try. Honestly cause I couldn’t walk away without giving it my all. We took time for us, without having to be mom and dad for a few days. Remembered who we were and why we fell in love. We got caught in our everyday routine with kids and work, that we forgot about us. My advice would be to just give it a shot. Send the kids with a trusted family member or close friend and take at least 3 nights to yourselves. Go get a hotel room down the road, out of town, or just stay home. Remember who y’all are without having to tend to the needs of a child. Tend to the needs of who y’all are as individuals. Sleep most of the time, cuddle, dinner, games, whatever y’all liked to do before y’all had your first baby. Find that flame and rekindle it. Marriage is tough. Like really freaking tough. But I feel like you don’t want to give up if you’re posting for input. So find a way that works for you but give it your best shot. Good luck! :purple_heart:

1 Like

Try the Love Dare watch the movie Fireproof together, make time for each other

2 Likes

Sometimes you just have to “
Fake it till you make it “ . Pretend to have feelings for him and show him you care . Before you know it , those feelings will be true . Do whatever you have to do to make it work . Kids worlds are shattered when their parents divorce. Trust me , I know of what I speak .

3 Likes

I don’t think you’ve lost feelings for him. I think you’re bored. Make your marriage a priority again. Have fun together

5 Likes

Get to work and begin rebuilding. Feelings are transient. Love endures all. Put in some work.

Remember why u fell in love.fall in love all over again

Your marriage has always been perfect yet you want to give up over a few feelings. Honey moon period dont last forever. Your bord hun. Find a new hobby or put these feelings into spending time with your hubby without kids about. 20 yrs now with my hubby. Less than perfect at times with his crazy arse ex. Some days I want to throttle him. Others I see him like I did at start. Its up and down that make a partnership.
If you leave are you going to feel simlar with next person after few yr.

I wouldn’t walk away, if the spark is just gone then you guys just need to work on it and fix it. You don’t just throw away 10 years like that

2 Likes

My 20 year marriage hasn’t been easy. We almost gave up a lot of times. The one thing that has kept me thru those NORMAL feelings is if I still see only him at the end of my life. It’s always yes.

40 Likes

I had this happen. I was on the brink of leaving. Until I learned and I mean really truly learned what the love meant. Love is selflessness. Putting your own emotions, feelings, and needs to the side. It is such a hard thing to do. The only way I’ve been able to do it is through prayer and Jesus Christ.
Immediately, I saw the change in him when I chose to be selfless. We’ve never been happier. Ita really amazing what the restoration of Christ and true love can do.

61 Likes

I’m glad you went to him and told him. Honestly love… Search deeper and give it a shot. If he isn’t feeling he lost it and wants to try to fix things, he probably deserves that shot. Try it out with counseling and don’t rush anything. In the end at least you tried.

14 Likes

Don’t be so selfish you have a problem .You have told him your feelings now look at it from his perspective he now feels hurt and blaming himself of the way you are.Look is he a workaholic if so he’s doing it to keep everything above board .Does he spend time with family on his days off either way hes trying to be a dad and a husband. So in my mind you are being selfish walk away if you wish but it will bite you not only in your marriage but future relationships.At the end of the day you will lose and be one lonely woman.Seek counseling before it gets worse

19 Likes

I strongly believe if you don’t have feelings for your partner do NOT waste their time. People say you’re not always in love but when you find the right person that’s simply untrue. If you cannot see your life with the person , see yourself thinking of others, don’t waste time. You can try working on things but a relationship shouldn’t have to be forced.

27 Likes

When I was going to get married my mother’s advice was “ when u feel u don’t love him anymore … not if , because it will happen … go back to ur memory and look for all the reasons u fell in love with him and will find love again… I’ve been married for 37 years … it hasn’t always been a been a bed of roses … If he is a good man and his qualities out way his faults … don’t let go !!

415 Likes

It’s normal to fall in and out of love in a long term relationship. Go on dates, find new activities to do together, even if it’s out of your comfort zone…you may find hobbies that you never knew that you would enjoy doing together. It can really bring you two back together, sometimes the stress of everyday life just gets in the way.

99 Likes

I have been married 22 years, been with him longer than that and he is perfect, I however have been the hard pill to swallow in this marriage, I don’t know how he stayed with me, but long story short I had a stroke in June, this man has been through it all and loved me right along through everything, I tell you gals something serious if you have a good man willing to stay with you and try to get the relationship right, that will love you even when you don’t love yourself and are unlovable to most, yall better hang on to him. Reading some things about others relationships in some recovery groups I’m part of just breaks my heart. Try to work it out if you can

28 Likes

Feelings come and go. Your marraige shouldn’t. Stay married. Your feelings will come back maybe stronger. Don’t live your life by feelings. Make your feelings go along with your life. I rarely felt like going to work. But I forced my feelings to go to work with me. They changed after an hour or so. My 1st wife died. I loved her more after 30 years than I did at the beginning. In between though was many hard spots. My 2nd wife of 20 years is the same. There are lots of rough places in any marraige. Believe it or not if you stay the course it will make your marraige better!

13 Likes

You work on finding those feelings again. It’s effort and work but it’s worth it. There will be years when you grow apart but you can rekindle those feelings

19 Likes

Marriage is hard work why not try to do new things with him? Go on dates, listen to each other, find new hobbies to do together. If after all of that you still don’t feel the same way then maybe it’s time to let go. But don’t give up when you haven’t tried anything to fix whatever the problem is.

5 Likes

I was always told love is a decision. Sometimes feelings change, just like seasons. Love is a commitment, plan dates for you both, remember the good times.

13 Likes

The best advice I’ve ever gotten about marriage is that it’s a role coaster. You’ll always love each other. But you won’t always be in love. You fall in and out of love many times in a marriage. What’s important is that your friendship stays strong. Communicate your feelings and don’t try to push each other. Remember what you enjoyed about your partner and find me things to enjoy. Don’t allow yourself to focus on flaws or the things you dislike. Best of luck.

6 Likes

I would highly suggest individual counseling prior to marriage counseling. It’s important to dig at why you feel, or don’t feel, the way you do before trying to fix something that may not actually be broken. Perhaps on the road to helping yourself, it may become easier to work on things as a couple.

I do agree with doing everything you can to avoid walking away. So many people call it quits at the first sign of difficulty or trouble. It definitely says a great deal about your husband’s character to know what you’re going through and hanging in there. It’s also courageous of you to communicate your troubles from an emotional perspective to him.

14 Likes

I personally went through the same thing last year and thank God my man wanted to stay with me and figure it out bc now I am MORE in love with him than through our entire 10yr relationship!

That’s just my personal experience though bc every one is different. But ask yourself if you see yourself with him when you think about yourself at 80yrs old sitting on tbe front porch cause for me I knew I wanted him and our lives and children and grandchildren.

3 Likes

Marriage is work. It’s not always fun nor easy. After a number of years, it kinda loses the focus. The focus turns to kids, work, household and so on. I believe every one feels this way at one time or another. It’s very important to not forget about yourselves (especially when you have kids). Go on a date night once or twice a month. Do the simple things that were lost back when together. Take a weekend away every once in awhile. But, unless it’s an abusive relationship, don’t be so quick to leave. Talk to a counselor. Unless you are cheating on him, then that’s a whole nother answer.

4 Likes

Sometimes our mind can convince us of things that might not be true. If he is a good father and generally a good person…work with him on what you need. I’ve been married 52 years and have felt every emotion and feeling one could imagine in our marriage. When you are in a rut…shake it up and figure out how to get out of it. Have you read any books on improving your marriage? It’s usually not the other person but how you are seeing things. Good luck…marriage is certainly complicated and difficult at times.

6 Likes

Did something cause you to lose feelings for him? Have you been looking at dating apps and things like that? I know some people start to look at those and believe they can have such a ( free ) life. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. If you haven’t been straying on the computer or in person, then you should not waste his time any longer or your own. Just work together for those children. They need to completely understand that everything is ok. Unfortunately, this will upset them. I don’t know their ages. But divorce is confusing and emotional for any age child. Good luck.

5 Likes

The question becomes do you want to work on things? You could try counselling, more time together for dates and etc if you’ve not really had time to spend together. Seeing if reconnecting and making that time for one another makes a difference.

In the end, if you’re not in the same place as him you shouldn’t force yourself. It’s unfair to the both of you. You can co-parent and raise the kids in separate homes.

3 Likes

I feel like people take their marriages for granted. I’ve noticed people put more effort in divorcing than putting in the work it takes for a marriage to work. Maturity is very important when getting married. There’s a lot more to it than a ring and changing your last name. Communication is important. Clearly this is a problem within herself and not him. Unless there’s more to this story…

2 Likes

Feelings in a marriage can often ebb and flow. This doesn’t mean you can’t get back to where you were when you first fell in love. For the sake of your children you should at least give it a chance, as long as they aren’t being harmed emotionally from fighting and anger. Go to therapy. Take a weekend away somewhere. If all else fails then you should consider other options.

2 Likes

I was married to an abusive man for thirteen years. So many times I could not understand why I didn’t love him. Imagine that! I tried really hard to make that dumpster fire look good. I learned a lot that I tried to apply to that marriage. But, in the end, the best that was to let that dumpster blow up and walk away.

I learned a lot. One was not to let myself be treated less than. And, I was determined not to let that all of the good things that I learned about marriage go to waste.

I am married to a wonderful man now. We’ve been married for seven years, and I adore him because I not only know what I had before, but because he is just that great! :joy:. That being said, life has not always been easy by any means. He snores. He can sometimes be an a$$hole. Guess what??? So can I!

I have seen too many people throw out good marriages because the grass looks greener on the other side. Don’t. Feelings come and go. Bad Mexican food can create some feelings. Go for what’s real. Life happens. Kids happen. Those warm fuzzies fade and… Guess what?? They are supposed to. Seriously, those warm fuzzy feelings cannot be maintained. They are supposed to get thing started and for you to look back on.

Keep the good man. Love him. He’s worth if!

Love is a choice, not a feeling. My husband and I choose to love each other despite our faults and shortcomings.

6 Likes

I mean this is short of short explanation for anyone to give you good advice. Maybe talk to someone close to you or a professional or even your Dr. There could be something medically wrong even. If everything’s been perfect and one day you woke up and the feelings are gone without reason.

1 Like

Life is hard, kids are hard, marriage is hard. I am no expert but I can say at year 20 with my husband and with 3 teenage boys I have never loved him as much as I do now. 10 years ago I probably wouldn’t have known that. When the joys were toddlers,NO WAY. But I committed to him, our marriage and our children. Not that I am settling but it ebbs and flows and I would be missing so much if I had called it quits during the down time.

5 Likes

The grass is not always greener… If he is a good husband and father and loves you and the children you may want to try harder to fix it rather than walking away.

You might find someone new. It will be exciting at first but it will eventually be ordinary routine too. Except harder to work around co-parenting. Schedules. Split Holidays. And alot of heart ache from the kids too.

We are in the middle of pandemic. Things are different. Maybe seeing eachother more than normal, being stuck at home will play into affect too.

Try to rekindle. Even date nights at home. Movie and take out or nice meal. Whatever.

But I think if he is a loving husband and father. Try a bit harder. Will be hard to replace that.

3 Likes

Love isnt always perfect. It isnt a fairytale/storybook, and it definitely doesn’t always come easy. Relationships are hard work, but when you work together to overcome the obstacles you are unstoppable. You cannot just give up on someone because the situation isnt ideal, you made a promise to each other, find a way to make it work. So many relationships fail now days because when the going gets tough they leave. If you cant “love” the person you promised to give your life to, how are you going to love anyone else either?:thinking: … sure someone else might make you feel amazing for a little while, and everything will seem so easy & effortless. But eventually the honeymoon phase will end (as it did before) and you will in turn be left with the same feelings your feeling right now. Love is a commitment that you must commit to everyday, during all the ups & the downs.

3 Likes

You try to make it work- go to marriage counseling. Hopefully there isn’t an attraction to someone else and you’re willing to throw a marriage away for it.

4 Likes

Love is more than a feeling! It is commitment, caring and so much more!

5 Likes

Spend time reconnecting. You need to go on dates, talk about your hopes dreams, what you want in the future. Be sure to make eye contact, flirt with one another. Love doesn’t just go away, but it does change.

3 Likes

Any marriage or relationship requires work! The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Now if your emotional abused, physically abused or in a bad marriage then yes get out. But if these don’t apply then I woukd try marriage counseling first. Try date nights again. Find what made you fall in love with him in thr first place. Take baby steps. And it all fails thrn mabye you did just grow apart that happens also.

2 Likes

Fall back in love do things you used to do in the beginning enjoy each other I wouldn’t give up

3 Likes

In my days when things were broken we didn’t throw them out… we fixed them. Re - focus on why you fell in love … Pray for that first love! do things together. Date nights. Every time you start to say something hurtful or hateful. Breathe and say something loving and positive. Work on fixing it before you discard it.

1 Like

Before I got married my priest told both me and my husband that when we start falling out of love to remember the memories when you first got married. Also if my husband wanted to go out drinking to let me know that way the wife wouldn’t get mad not knowing where he was. Going on 40 years of marriage. So my advice was like Adela Castano’s mother’s advice.:blush:

2 Likes

I use to dream of killing my husband. It passes!

10 Likes

Sometimes having kids can change the relationships make sure you guys find time to be with just each other also. If your thinking being single will be easier it wont. Its hard to find honest trust worthy partners. If you can trust him with your heart its worth the fight. You might just need to do some inner work. Give it time every relationship has points like this. Ive been married ten years this year been together 12 with four kids together. Ive had times I’ve told him I’m unhappy and then we work on it.

1 Like

Feelings are flighty and circumstantial. If you have a love and admiration for him, hold onto that and bring some spice back into your marriage.

3 Likes

Marriage isn’t easy. If he’s a hard worker, good husband and good father, go to counseling. What feelings have you lost?

3 Likes

If u think the marriage is good , why are u questioning ur feelings ? Does he abuse u , ignore u, belittle u , take u for granted ? Do u do the same to him. Marriage is a lifelong commitment that shouldn’t be entered into lightly . A decade is a long time to be in a relationship with to suddenly decide u don’t feel the same about someone . Love grows , evolves , as do relationships . Seek help find a councilor and work out ur feeling . Make sure it is ur feeling about him that have changed and not how u feel about urself …

1 Like

Been there done that. Me and my hubby have been married for almost 20 years. It is possible to rekindle old flames. You have to start dating each other again. Go out without the kids. Go on a mini vacation kid free. Remember all the things you love about him.

2 Likes

Marriage is a job. Every day. So many people get caught up in the day and don’t consider the life that two people share. It’s not easy. But if you really truly love them then it’s worth it

1 Like

Marriage is a choice and it’s not all romance and fairy tales… make an effort to spice things up and remember why you fell in love. There are many seasons in a marriage… if more people realized this more would stay together… not everyone, every time… I surely know some marriages aren’t salvageable. However, I feel they have become disposable and I find that sad. It sounds like you’ve got a foundation there… dig for it… best wishes

1 Like

Rekindle the flame with date nights, remember why you fell in love, communicate, right lice letters, begin to notice the things you love about him! It is normal but worth it to work on it.

1 Like

You are normal. Leaving him will not fix whatever is happening inside you. If he’s a good man I promise you will not find better out here. You said the marriage is perfect, but you aren’t attracted to him anymore. That’s normal. He feels that way too. Understand that no one person can be your everything. Stick to your vows. Because if you go back on your word, especially if he hasn’t, is a sign of shitty character.

1 Like

My husband and I were having problems. I left for 4 months. The time I was living with my aunt, we were working on ourselves and our relationship. We went on dates. We talked to each other every night. In the end, our relationship is stronger for it. We will be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary on May 9th.

1 Like

I’d try to work it out only if you’re willing to as well. Feelings come and go, they change just like people do. Relationships cannot subsist on feelings alone as they’re temporary. Loves endures all because you make the choice to love that person every day, and even harder on the bad ones.

I’ve been with my SO 7 yrs and we have 2 kids. we hit a rough patch at the 6 yr mark, but even during the worst of our days, i never once thought of a life without him in it. Thinking of that broke my heart so I knew, we had to make it work and we’re happy now cuz we put in the effort for each other.

Maybe consider marriage counseling before throwing in the towel completely. If you theres genuinely no real issue and you just dont want to be with him simply because…And if you can imagine a life without him in it & not feel any sadness for that, then you shouldnt lead him on.

It took me 32 yrs to find a man who works hard, doesn’t cheat and shows me he loves me everyday we have been married for almost 4 yrs we have been together 12 yrs and believe me we have been through hell and back but we stick it out because we’re in love even when it feels like we’re not I think u should really think before u just give up on him he sounds like a good man those are hard to find

What made you fall in love with him and love him in the first place? Find that answer and are those feelings still there? If so you can work out the problems. Being with someone for that many years your relationship loses that luster it once had. Add kids to the mix and you guys have probably lost each other in other roles of mommy and daddy, and working and running a house and whatever else. You need to be a couple again. Make time for each other. After the kids move out of the house it’s back to just the two of you.

1 Like

Every person feelings isnt same… everything dpends on both of u. Not easy to get together and also not easy to live in separate, especially for kids … always keep positive and think for all off part that include in …:hugs::hugs:

Go back in time… I mean, remember all those things he made for you to fall in love with him. Your journey from the very beginning … and keep the fire burning. She loves you, that’s why he wanted to work things out.

If no major other problems then maybe raising the kids and dealing with life means you’ve lost you two as a couple. Try using sensible advice above, if not for you then for your husband and the kids! Try new activities, date nights, etc. Every relationship including any you may move on to will hit a mini wall. Just look for ways to take your family past that :grin:

1 Like

Love is a choose! You have to make the choose to whether you want to remain in your marriage and work on it. It sounds to me like you have a loving caring husband. Don’t give that up for fleeting [email protected]

My husband and I have been married for 17yrs. There were many times when I was ready to leave, there’s something else going on. Think about it you’ll figure it out. But think about everything that you both have been through.

Loving someone is a choice. You have to choose to love them every day. Even through the faults. Even through the mistakes and the hard times which we all have. I’ve been where you are. I thought the same thing. But I was proved wrong. I have only been married 10 years now, but every day is a new day. And we have been through hell and back many times. But I choose to love him every single day I wake up. Make the choice and you will realize it’s still there. Good luck.

I went through periods and I mean long periods where I could have sworn I fell out of love. Everything he did annoyed me and I couldn’t even stand the sight of him. I couldn’t explain it, he didn’t do anything wrong it just was like that. It did eventually pass. I honestly think you’ve been together so long maybe it’s just a funk your in right now and it may take some time to get over.

I read a book called the 5 love languages. It’s about how to find out how you need him to fill your love jar and how you can fill his. I gave it to all my boys and they read it with their wives and it had changed their relationship so much! I’m divorced but I mentioned the book to my now boyfriend and found he had read it. We have the same love language which is unusual but we are so happy and it’s effortless because we give and get what we need from each other. Good luck! Find your happiness again !

1 Like

Start dating again. This is #1 reason why couples fall out of love. Why do we think that when we get married we have to quit trying to win our spouse? Always make it a point to fall in love with your so every single day.

1 Like

Marriage is tough. You can try to get over the past and rebuild. Changes can be made if each spouse focuses on what they can do to be a better spouse versus what their spouse can change.

1 Like

Why did you think it was perfect and found out it isnt…something must have happened to change that feeling.
If it is a specific event of lost trust then you need to think if you can live with it, is it going to change, or is it something that you can live with the rest of your life. If it’s not then you have your answer.

Love is an action word, not just a “feelings” word. When you marry, you are making a commitment to love till death so you part. Sometimes it is easy, sometimes it is not. Also marriage is not a 50/50 commitment. It is a 100/100 commitment. It is your commitment to do your 100% every day even when you don’t feel “feelings”. Concentrate or your part of the commitment without keeping a tally on your “feelings”.

Literally my current situation. He swears he doesn’t love me anymore because he’s found “love” with a complete stranger online whom he’s never met. A few video chats, and now they’re in love apparently. I’m still very much in love with my husband, but I can’t talk him out of this ridiculousness.