I have lost feelings for my husband: Advice?

Please try couples or family therapy… it really does help. Maybe they can give you both tips to get the🔥 back.

Imagine your life without him, see what you feel then.

Start dating again, with your husband.

Go to marriage counseling.

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Be happy wish I had a husband

Figure out why your feelings have changed. Is it worth saving? Counseling?

Go on a date. Just the two of you. No kids. No talking about the kids. No talking about finances. Find the spark that started it all. Dress as sexy as hell, do your makeup. Just like you did 10 years ago.

You made vows.
Keep your word. :woman_shrugging:

Please. Go on dates. Flirt. Seriously just date again.

Have sex more often :slightly_smiling_face:

Go to a licensed Marriage Counselor

Therapy. Remember why you lived him

Leave girl, no love no nothing

Nope. I did the same. Get out now so that you can be happy. It sucks being unhappy all the time. Ugh!!!

Have you tried to re-light the flame at all?

Start dating each other again

are you sure you haven’t just lost feeling in general and are blaming the person closest to you…

I have been separated from my husband 3 times in the last 5 years…we will be married 10 years in april, together for 14…we are complete opposites…hes tall, im short, hes black, im white…hes right handed, im left…when i separated from him, i never asked for child support, i let him talk to his child when he wanted…but through it all, i still loved him no matter what…the first time i ever saw him, i knew i was going to marry him some day. There is something about my husband that I am drawn to, and it has nothing to do with sex, its more than sex. I dont know if its the phermones, but i truely love my husband. We both had bad first marriages, his resulted in not seeing his oldest child, but now he sees our daughter everyday, hes seeing her grow up…and thats something i could never take away from him, because not seeing his first child grow up has hurt him so much. But, he is a wonderful father, loves his little girl to death…it melts my heart seeing how wonderful he is with her, and makes me love him even more

Loving someone is a conscious decision.

I’m just so glad I’m single now! That’s all I got.

You sound like an a-hole

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Don’t screw it up by looking for something fun or exciting. That never ends well. You’ll always miss what you had or realize just how great you had it. Been there, done that. I agree with the others in not giving up and working on the relationship.

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Look at what that the picture is without your partner. Financially, kids, that’s just two factors. We went to marriage counseling. The counselor pointed out, if you worked as hard on your marriage as splitting up, you would be very surprised. We had actually split up after 5 years. 45 years into this marriage, I’m so glad we did the work.

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Then try to make it work too or make things work too. There are times that it’ll be an 80/20. In our vows we always say for better or for worse. Then I guess this time is the worse time. If you don’t know why you should stay, remember why you’re with your husband in the first place. Remember the good times, remember the fuss and fight but you chose to love him anyway, remember why you want it for 10 years, remember the day you said yes. And allways consider the kids in making any decisions.

Work it out. You said for better or worse. Get counseling. Fix it. Grow old together. You will live with regret down the road. Remember. For better or for worse. Til death.

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Work on mutual goals, how do you guys want to see life in 5 years, 1 year and I month from now, identify the challenges and work to move away from self defeating beliefs, understand each others needs and how you can contribute to fulfilling each others needs…conduct executive meetinv every week on this…
If you need my help please contact me. I am relationship coach and can help you
Breakthrough Coaching with Momina

That’s sad, but unless you did something wrong that helped change those feelings. Then know when it’s time to move on before hard feelings happen. You can’t make yourself love so one

Marriage is hard work! Youre not always going to like your partner! Have you tried doing things together? Have you thought about why you feel the way you do? Like whether its genuine or something deeper

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Everyone losses feelings after 10 years. (54th anniversary is in a week, trust me, I get it.) Your normal. Your just beginning to be able to understand your mom.
You see being married with kids is not (in my days ) Rock Hudson and Doris Day’s Pillow Talk, or a Cinderella love story.
Facta
The wedding is over. First baby excitement is finished. First house excitement is long over. Now keeping the house picked up is a pain in the ass. Second baby is light of your life, BUT damm all this kids stuff is not fun!
You thought after finals in college you were tired. Now, after 10 years you are more tired than you thought was humanly possible.
When you planned every detail of that perfect wedding, practiced saying your new name, talked about growing old together you had no f=×king idea that " for better OR worse" was so much worse. You didn’t focus on poorer, or sickness (covid19) or anything that wasn’t going to be fabulous.
This is Truth.
For 20+ years after first baby is EXHAUSTING, HARD WORK, mostly boring grown-up day to day, not fun dsy after day…
Good news. It gets better…and is worth the wait. There’s a reason why you make a commitment to death do us part.
You may feel alone in a building with people 6 feet away, it’s part of that growning up painful part of marriage.
Remember being married has worn your husband out too. He’d love to be hanging out with the guys in Montana, but he has a wife and kids.
#1. Send the kids to grandma’s for a weekend.
#2. Stay home. Sit down in day light. Start a conversation with: I’m not leaving. I know I love you. (That allows other person can relax enough to hear your words.) Then be honest. It’s extremely hard to talk honestly to people you care about the most.
#3. Then talk til your finished. Set a timer if you need controls.
#4 Let him talk til he’s finished.
No interrupting. Listen. Talk. Listen.
This is not “we need to get away to the beach.” This is grown up, hard, painful, scary work. Be honest.
Don’t leave the house, unless you go together some place…maybe a walk.
This may help instantly. It may not, but you stay. You go to bed. You get up. You keep going.
Leaving because your “not happy,” “He doesn’t make me happy,” “I deserve more.” “This isn’t what I signed up for.” Not an option.
You have children. You say the children are my world. I’d die for my children. Well, then do the work. Then, do more work . None of this would be a fabulous movie.
In 20 years you’ll start to remember why you had 3 dates.
In 30 years you’ll be best friends.
In 40 years it will all be worth the effort. You’ll have an intact family, grandchildren. You’ll look across the room and know your blessed.

All relationships go through stale points. Try going out on dates again and truly talking. Not about the every day things but the things that get you excited just like when you were first dating. It could definitely change things for the better or at the very least show you the truth. But you have to try it with everything inside you.

Love is a choice, not an emotion.

The sanctity of marriage is dead and it breaks my heart.

I highly recommend reading Love and Respect

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Maybe go to couples couple’s counseling?

get to know which side your breads buttered

Check with your OB/GYN and have your hormone levels checked.

Divorce now before you end up hating him.

Follow your gut. Do what will make you happy.

The grass isn’t always greener :woman_shrugging:t2:

Water your own grass.

Together for 23 married for 17. It hasn’t been easy.
I miss him when he’s at work and hate it when he’s home lol

We’ve had it tough and almost called it quits.
I have my days that I feel the same, check the calendar for my cycle honestly.

Do you see your life without him? Did you take vows? Do you value them?
Is he good to you? Is he worth the fight? Would you want him to fight for you?
Do you both want to fight for your marriage?
Are you intimate with each other? Have conversations? Put electronics down, shit off the tv?
Spend time together? Speak to each other & listen?

Do these things. Rediscover each other? Do you make love or just have sex?
There’s a difference. My husband and I are going through this.

But we want to fight for each other.

Till death to us part, for better or worse

True love is Unconditional.

Spend a lot of time praying and fasting.

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“The truth is none of us are easy to date, deal with, or please all the time. We all have our vices, attitudes, and way of doing things that make us who we are. You won’t like everything about somebody, it’s impossible. This is life, it isn’t about finding the perfect person, it isn’t about living some fairy tale; it’s about finding something you’re willing to work for, with somebody who’s willing to work with you. That simple, find someone who has a heart for you and never stops fighting for them.” — Rob Hill, Sr…

:bear::bear::bear::rage:SMDH. You made a promise. That’s what marriage is. In my opinion relationships seem to fail more in this generation. The problem to me is people split time. They put half their energy in their relationship and half their energy on the thought of what’s next so they are ready when the first one fails. I have no backup plan, no extra people to waste my time on just the one I am with. He gets 100% of what I have. Not 50% not 75% not 90%…100% and that’s why most don’t work out. You’re preparing for the end when you are still in the middle of your story. Give it your all and your life will change I promise. But you don’t leave someone behind. He’s your husband and it breaks my heart for him.

That figures you had a perfect marriage no abuse no cheating .ect …and your not happy your an ungreatfull b … So leave and see how happy you are

Go to marriage counseling. Being devoted to someone isn’t without work. It has ups and downs but YOU and YOU alone need to be willing to put in the work.

Go back to basics. Woo each other, have dates… Even if that just means putting the kids to bed early and cooking something together or watching a film. I’m not a parent but I know from family and friends that it’s easy to forget that you aren’t just Mummy and Daddy.

It’s not about you anymore honey. You brought 2 kids into your life so what matters now is what’s best for those babies, at least until they’re on their own. Your kids well being comes first. If he’s a good father then show your love for your kids by keeping the family together. If someone doesn’t agree with me, I don’t want to hear about it.

That’s pretty normal. Now you make a decision. Are you going to make an effort in your relationship? Like go to counseling, work on communication, make an intentional effort? Or are you going to give up?
Trust me, putting in the work is worth it.

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You’re not going to find anything better than perfect! Concentrate on doing things together. Remind yourself why you fell in love in the first place!

Marriage is a choice, not always an easy or a fun one but having someone who loves you and chooses you back will get you pretty far, if you’re willing to work at it.

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Work on it .a good man is hard to find these days and perfection. Remember the love you once felt .i was with my ex for twenty two years i got tired of it and gave up which i regret to this day .good luck

I stayed in a marriage for 30 years, the marriage never worked because he was violent, manipulative and a compulsive liar. I stayed because he had me, my parents and my children’s future wrapped up in his warped dealings. Dont waste your life without love, be with someone who makes you a better you. Staying in a relationship without love is not beneficial to either party.

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Reconnect with him, do the things with him that make you happy and make you appreciate him, I feel bad for him

Unhappy is different than “lost feelings for”. It’s normal to get so familiar that it no longer feels special. The grass is greener where you water it. If you’re feeling in a rut, you’re not alone - we’ve all had a little too much together time in survival mode this year. It’s worth your time and effort to put into your relationship to discern if it can be fixed.

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Before you give up, give it another try. You might get rid of a good man and never find real love again. Most guys nowadays just want to find a woman to shack up with. They’re looking for a mama not a wife. That being said, it’s ok not to have another man but it is also very lonely out there.

Counseling first. Most relationships go through a period of eh… if you want to try and get those feelings back, get counseling individually and as a couple first. Good luck.

Realize that love is not just a feeling. It’s an action. Do something nice for your husband. Do something personal for him every-single-day. That’s love. We are not mindless animals. We CHOOSE to love. Love is built through acts of kindness. It’s not bells & whistles. It’s not hearts & flowers. You fall in & out of lust. You choose love. You kill love. You build love. It’s not called making love because it just happens. You MAKE love what it is. Unless you have a really crappy husband, you let it die. Now, nurture it & build a mature love.

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I think you need to ask if you’re happier alone, meaning you might not find someone out there. Be prepared for that. My friend divorced and, while happier out of the marriage, she can’t find her special someone. The pickings are very slim. She is shocked that it’s been so hard and she’s every guy’s dream girl. Might be better to try to work on your current relationship. Love changes when you get older. It’s doesn’t always feel like new love.

30 years married this year. I hate it when people say marriage is work. It shouldn’t be. That’s your best friend! It should be fun, loving, rewarding. Now what I will say is you will have what I call highs and lows. And a lot of factors can come into play in your low moments. Stress, money, work,children, personal reflection. So before you jump to the conclusion that the love is gone… maybe you just need some therapy first for yourself. You can’t love others unless you love yourself. Work on yourself first. Then as long as your marriage is healthy, No cheating, abuse, ect, give your husband the time he deserves to TRY. Do new things, experience new places, spice up your love life. If it were the other way around you would want him to at least give it all he had before saying I’m done. It’s like peeling off all the old layers to reveal the new. But if your not willing to try, things will stay the same. Couples therapy as well can help. Hopefully you can rekindle a love and desire for your husband like you’ve never felt before! And if not, at least you can Honestly say you tried as hard as possible. :tulip:

All marriages have highs and lows. If he has been a good partner and father don’t make any rash decisions. My husband and I have had periods where we didn’t like each other a whole lot…but I had never met anyone else I’d rather be with thru our 41 years. Rest assured you are not the first married person going thru this.

Love comes and goes… but commitment to family and kids and promises you made to each other stay forever! The grass is never greener on the three other side…

Try a marriage counselor and see if you can work things out. See if there is anything you can do. See if you can get that spark back. If not, at least you can say you tried before leaving. Figure out what made you stop loving him and go from there. Specially with kids involved. I tried with my ex but it was cuz he didn’t want to work, he wouldn’t spend ti.e with me and spent 18 hours on the computer playing online games like call of duty and flirting with girls with online games he played. I’ve tried talking to him 3 different times but gave up. Even our sex life went down no matter what I tried. If you can save it and fall in love again, I would try. The man I am with now, we once fell out of love too but, only cuz of friends telling him false things about me and my kids, we broke up. But now 1 yrs later, we back together and still in love 2 years now. our love for each other is even stronger. We show it every day and try to keep each other happy this time. We also communicate about everything.

When I was getting married our pastor (and my future father in law) told us before we said I do to always remember that “you’re not always going to like them and you’re not always going to love them but it does pass as long as you want it to.” If you’re not doing things that you did in the beginning you probably won’t feel the same. Are you still going on dates or trying new things together? Do y’all take nights where you unplug together and actually just focus on the two of you? I would try to fall in love again and see where you are after that

Go to counseling, relearn why you fell in love for him in the first place. You are a family try to save it first and if you truly put everything you got into it and it doesn’t change, then hold your head up high and walk away, but then at least both of you can knowing you both tried to fight like hell to save it…

A marriage that lasts a lifetime requires you to fall in love again and again, with the same person. Feelings fluctuate. Facts don’t. Get your health checked, take a mini vacation alone, drink lots of water and no alcohol or caffeine for a month and see how your mindset changes (on just about everything). Practice gratitude, some of us NEVER had a perfect marriage even though we tried. Don’t make any rash decisions. Be thankful he wants to work through it together instead of just telling you don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.
That said, don’t lose your soul trying to be somewhere you shouldn’t be.

With 2 children, it is very easy to always put them first, which puts your marriage on the back burner. We also are living in a tough time. You need to concentrate on what brought you together, go on dates, spend quality time together - grandparents are a great resource for this, and if not, find a local babysitter. Try this for a few months and I bet you will feel differently.

Maybe this is the universe telling you that you need to look inside of you to see what you are failing to fulfill within yourself. Sometimes what we are seeing as a relationship issue with another person is really a problem in the relationship with ourselves.

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Hang in there. What God has joined together let no man put asunder. For better, for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health.

You feel this way bc of something. It didn’t happen overnight. Talk about what made you feel this way. Search within what expectations aren’t being met. Marriage isn’t easy and it’s 100% from each other.

I know with COVID it’s hard to do, but you two need to be alone for a few days to rekindle your romance. Find out each others love languages, go to couples therapy, start a weekly date night, fight for your marriage. During some seasons of your marriage you really need to put in the work to stay married. Love changes the longer you are married and when you are raising children your marriage can be put last on your priority list. You need to start putting your husband and your marriage first for your sake and for your children.

Relationship have ebbs and flows. Life is not always sweeter on the other side. Your children don’t need the upheaval with a start over. I pray things work out favorably.

Work on your relationship AND yourself. Way too many people give up way too fast these days. It takes two to tango, the issues are never one sided…

Recently someone quoted an older woman who had been together 67 years. She said the secret was we never fell out of love with each other at the same time.

If you start losing feelings for someone, there is something wrong going on in the relationship

Commited Love is not a feeling. It’s a decision. If you follow your feelings, you’ll end up with 20 husbands. :woman_shrugging:

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I read somwhere we fall out of love with people for no reason. Your not miserable …u just dont like him. Ur not always gonna like him. But oh well lol.

Love languages. Figure out your and his and work on it.

Go back to basics and rekindle what you had like dates etc. All marriages go through patches and stages, you need to be proactive to keep your marriage alive and interesting.

Loving is giving
Give more, its magical

you only fail when you fail to try

Find something fun you like to do. It will pass

Im fairly sure that my opinion will not be a popular one. I was married for 13 years. We got together quite young and were madly in love but by the time 10 years had rolled around, we were both very different people. We had both grown and those people weren’t in love. We both agreed to give it a try for another year, then another year and then another and then we both just agreed we were not in love. I dont personally feel like it’s a choice and you have to be happy. I had lost myself in the marriage and didn’t feel like I could be myself. He treated our marriage like a single life, going out for drinks etc so we both knew it was time. It was hard making that decision because being together was all I knew, but I can honestly say that we get on better now and I am so much happier in my own head and soul than I was in my last few years of marriage. I agree its hard work but it also has to be right. I agree you remember the good memories but the hard times have to be addressed as well or it can bring resentment. There is always a reason it isn’t working, find out what it is. Times are incredibly hard right now but try and get through it and then try going on dates and spending time together. If you try and it doesn’t work, you know you’ve tried. You can’t force feelings. I do not agree in staying together for kids. If your husband knows you are unhappy, he will be unhappy. If your kids see you and him unhappy, they will feel it and thats not right. My daughter is absolutely fine. She sees us both and is happy. Your mental health is so very important but just make sure its all for the right reasons. They were for me so that’s all I can say. We started as two very different people to who we are now. Good luck xx

Try therapy for yourself