Weve been trying 2yrs and beginning to think somethings wrong with me too …I’m a step mother to a wonderful 4yr almost 5yr old boy , from my mans previous marriage, and this scenario is literally on my mind every living breathing walking minute of the day ( I left out alot of back history) …it hurts so much waiting and hoping and the fear of the unknown 
wish u the best hun
Sometime miscarriages are caused by a failure to develop properly and sometimes that is caused by incorrect genetic information from either contributing parent. (Sperm can be damaged or eggs may be)
You don’t even know if there is a fertility problem and even if there is, it doesn’t mean the problem is yours.
3 Likes
It’s only been 3 years. I would tell your husband about your miscarriages, so that you’re not carrying around your loss alone. Perhaps some therapy. And go to the doctor to see if there is a reason you lost the babies, or try something to help you carry. Whatever your doctor thinks is right for you. There are loss groups as well. I have an angel and many mom’s who miscarried and have no living children are there, even women who have gone through so much to have their angel. Don’t blame yourself or your body. There’s also foster care, which is a cheaper way to take in children you may later adopt. But never do it without your husband. He’s suppose to be your best friend and if he can’t love and accept you for you then maybe you shouldn’t be with him. But that wouldn’t be your fault either and don’t decide even that without him. Take care. So sorry for your losses.
1 Like
Be honest with him. If he doesn’t know that you have had miscarriages then he could be thinking that something is wrong with him or with the relationship. Be honest and tell him and communicate that you want kids you just don’t know. Book a doctors appointment to find out what’s going on and why.
All in gods timing, he makes no mistake.
1 Like
Sorry for your loss yes tell him about the miscarriage praying for y’all try adoption to you try again later
That’s heart breaking bless your heart hope and prayer you will find yourself pregnant and have a beatiful healthy baby xx
Go to the dr and find out why, could be a simple hormone imbalance, you arent the only one going through this, miscarriage effects the dad to
1 Like
It took me 4 years after my second miscarriage to get pregnant again and make it to full term with my now 2 year old son don’t give up hope just yet.
2 Likes
Talk to your doctor they can put you on meds to help stop miscarrying. I had a friend that had 8 miscarriages her doc put her on meds and now she has a beautiful baby boy.
1 Like
O.O thats messed up thing to say to you. … Sometimes babies dont form right. Maybe should see dr about what could be wrong.
2 Likes
Um. Miscarriages dont mean u cant have kids. My cousin has had 5. Now has a beautiful lil girl. Also, theres adoption. Private and thru the foster system. Your post seems a bit selfish. So many people have it worse. U r not barren.
It can take women years to get pregnant. If you are actively trying, it probs wont happen. It took my aunt years of trying before she concieved. And she only concieved because she stopped trying. My other aunt had tons of miscarriages and a couple of bubs who died straight after birth (she still feels the loss for every one of them) but she now has her son who she loves to bits.
You will have your rainbow baby. It just takes time and patience. I wishh you all the best and luck and hope you dont have to feel the pain of losing another bub (its very hard).
He is the silly one to think it’s embarrassing that y’all haven’t had a baby in only 3 years. These things happen unfortunately but it doesn’t mean it will never happen and he should be much more supportive of you. Stop being afraid of talking to someone about what has happened and open up about how you feel. My daughter had lost 2 and she has been with her SO for 8 years and we talk about how she feels so she doesn’t get too depressed and she isn’t giving up on having a baby and you shouldn’t either.
No, you should leave and find someone who understands a womans body and feelings…he is a selfish dick!!! 3 years? Then after the bay ,u left alone taking care of a child while he galavant… gtfoh!!! U deserve better than his sore loser ass
He said its embarrassing!!. You blaming yourself🤔I hear Alarm bells ringing. Why’s he so negative and why are you too. As others have said, get checked first, before making assumptions its just YOU.
I get the feeling you are afraid to say much and so go all negative because of him. More to this than you’re saying. No one should be telling you "its embarrassing " that’s ludicrous !
sometimes it can take a while to fall pregnant. Dont fall into depression, go explore your options find out if something is going on with you or him.
1 Like
You are more important than you think. You need to not worry about other’s. It’s your heart that has been broken…You must grieve over that loss. That husband better man -up and think of you and drop the pride. Let Him know your the one who will get pregnant and deliver the baby and feed the baby and probably spend more time with the child than he will. You and your life must be more important than what he is showing. Work at it. Take time and try not to make it stressful. Babies are conceived and born on God’s timing not ours. Besides if he truly loves you he’ll wait too.
1 Like
Hunny, first of all, YOU ARE NOT a sad excuse for a woman!!! Do not EVER tell yourself that!!!
Secondly, I cannot believe he would say such hurtful things to you as if you’re not already going through enough??? WTF! I am so so sorry your going through this. Have you been to a specialist to see what the issue is? If not, it could be him as well… Don’t blame yourself for this please. My sister was having issues conceiving and was put on birth control for a couple of months (I’m aware being on it for to long can hinder your chances of conceiving and not all will have the same outcome), but she got off and ended up pregnant with twin girls a couple months later. Do not give up.
So many struggle with this every single day. Some want to give up and stop trying and guess what? I have personally seen people get pregnant when they least expect it. Don’t give up on yourself please. 
There are many options. If you ever need to talk my inbox is always open.
1 Like
Yes. Your being silly and hard on yourself. You went through 2 miscarriages alone. That had to be hard too. Maybe you shouldn’t keep secrets. You and your husband should be going though this together. He should have input on the situation too. It shouldn’t be your call to make. What about him? You going though that behind his back like that just isn’t far. Yall should be coming up with solutions together. Who are you to be making all the decisions. I’m not saying this to be mean. You need a dose of reality.
My husband and I got married in 2012. We couldn’t get pregnant until November 2014 I miscarried January 2015 then got pregnant again sept 2016 yet again i miscarried. Then I got pregnant March 2018 and this baby made it. I had my rainbow baby December 26,2018. We had problems but once our son was here it made it better. Things happen and we don’t know why but you are crazy to think leaving will be the answer!
" it’s embarrassing" what the heck, who is he trying to impress? He is incredibly selfish and self-centered. You deserve support and encouragement and better treatment than this. So yes you should leave him, but not for the reason you think. You should leave him because you are so much more than just a baby making machine. Your worth NOT what your uterus can do.
2 Likes
I felt the same way. My guy wanted to do everything he could to help us have a baby but the problem was me. I finally had my rainbow but only after losing three babies, and one passed just 30 minutes after birth. I remember several times having this talk with him that I was so sick of breaking his heart and mine every time we thought it would happen.
No advice here, I hope you get your rainbow soon.
I think a discussion needs to be had about what he said to you. That is the lowest thing he could have possibly said to you! You are not any less of a woman for things you have no control over! If he doesn’t know about the miscarriage you need to tell him. It takes two to deal with something like that and it isn’t doing any good for you to fight it on your own. You both suffered a loss. Don’t give up on trying because sometimes it takes a while, but if you give up you’ll never know what could have been. You’ll have a baby when when the time is right. Hang in there! Good luck to you
1 Like
Hmmm… I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone talking complete clear sentences in there sleep like that. Are you sure your own thoughts didn’t take a mumbled mess of words from your sleeping husband and form that sentence on your own? Maybe you were projecting your feelings into hearing what you thought was appropriate? Also, I think it’s odd that you wouldn’t tell your husband about the first pregnancy, or the second. How did you explain this miscarriage at work? Why are you not telling him about the pregnancies? Have you had a history of miscarriages prior to this relationship? I’m not quite sure what’s happening here. Either way, it sounds like your relationship needs more communication and you need more resources. Good luck 
We were married for 19 years with no baby so we decided to adopt…best thing ever!!!
He could be the problem too.
Don’t give hope up don’t stop praying we get test buy allah too see if u will stay tthrough this
All u got too say don’t give hope up
There are so many ways to have a family, if you both love one another .
what a piece of crap! Obviously you can get pregnant (though not getting pregnant doesn’t make you any less of a woman)! Talk to your dr about why you are having miscarriages! And shame on you for not telling your husband! I had several miscarriages before finding out I have pcos, insulin resistance, 2 blood clotting disorders and low progesterone. I am now on my 2nd healthy pregnancy at 37 years old!
Honestly he doesn’t sound like someone I’d want to have a kid with anyway.
Some people have 15 miscarriages before they have a scussful pregnancy. Talk to your doctor
Through sickness and health was part of your vows I assume? Him leaving is not valid at all. Adopt! Find a surrogate! Their are options. I’m so sorry, sounds incredibly painful.
1 Like
He shouldnt have said that. Thats wrong. I get its hard… I wasnt supposed to be able to have kids. Almost died when i did have my daughter and was told it wasnt safe for me to have another. And NEVER has my fiance said anything like that to me or made me feel like it was bad or my fault.
OMG your husband said that? It was 4 years before I became pregnant. My next was a tubal so that ended that. AND that was 4 years later!! My niece miscarried 4X then had a healthy little boy!! Tell your husband to just say we are waiting for a bit. Tests for fertility? No do not leave and don’t give up!!
Does your husband know you miscarried give him hope !! You could have tipped uterus like I did.
First of all, I’m sorry for your losses. Did you tell your obgyn? If not you should, asap. And it’s not just a miscarriage. It was the loss of your children, 2 times. Not your future children but your children. I think you need to address this and greave these babies. You need to let your husband in on this as well. Maybe when your doctor knows something is going wrong, he may be able to help.
1st & most importantly of all it’s not your fault at all…none…ziltch! So if you leave don’t leave because you feel guilty or at fault, leave so you can learn to love & respect yourself & then find someone that will also love & respect you. I am sorry you are going through this. I am sure you feel very hurt & alone. I will send I prayers your way!
Fact is, leaving because of how you feel isnt fair to him. He should know and have a say, as well.
See you OBGYN. There’s other ways to become parents as well. And as crappy as I think he is for that comment, he’s hurting too. Don’t throw in the towel yet. See a doctor and discuss other options with him!
4 Likes
He needs to understand that you marry for love and you support each no matter what…in sickness and in health…
Give yourself time to heal.Love yourself reguardless of your ability to have kids…God is great.Seeing a o.b. is a great Idea.However I think you’ll see your Rainbow Baby soon. Best of Luck to you.
2 Likes
Unfortunately men say some seriously effed up things some times. However, he also doesn’t know you’ve had two miscarriages if I understood your post correctly. It could be that his side of the family or work or whatever is giving him a really hard time and pressuring him. Instead of explaining that to you, it came out as “it’s embarrassing “. You need to have a conversation with him.
1 Like
That was a rotten thing to say!!! He’s selfish for wanting a baby to please other people.Sad…It should be about you and him & wanting a family.Maybe adopt but that comment would always be in the back of my mind cause his intentions seem off.
Some ppl just can’t have kids. My man knew getting with me we may or may not have kids. 6yrs later, hes still with me and we still dnt have kids. For some it is a deak breaker. Some foster-to-adopt… Some get pets.
Yes, your marriage is not based on either partners ability to procreate. Have you seen a doctor about your issues to find a diagnosis?
- If you’ve not been told you can’t, then seek medical advice before losing it.
- He’s not a mind reader, he married you bc he loved you so you need to let him be a part of a decision that includes him.
- I had miscarriages and now have two rambunctious boys.
This is modern times a lil medical help can help if you are financially stable enough to do so dont give up so easy
Dont feel that way at all my husband and I been together 10 years we had a Misarriage in 2011. He was there for me thru it it broke his heart just as much as mine. Took us 7 years of trying before we had our rainbow baby. We had alot of disappointments along the way but we worked through it we knew one say it would happen. We stuck together and he was my rock through everything. The moment u stop trying is when it will happen we tried for so long finally gave up trying and ened up with our rainbow baby. But in the end we stuck together.
Til death do you part. Regardless of what may or may not happen. There’s always IVF and adoption.
1 Like
Hes disgusting for saying that!!
I suggest u see a OBGYN to try and figure out if anything is going on.
And voice your hurt to him he needs to know saying stuff like that is out of ordee
You don’t have to leave him if he’s a good man he will stay with you through everything my wife lost our first two and she had to so don’t give up
I lost 3 babies before I got pregnant. If your getting pregnant that means you can! You just may need to see a doctor to help you stay pregnant. I had CPOS. Also due to ovarian cancer I cant have anymore. My best friend and love of my life dosent have any kids but he loves me enough that it is not an issue. We want to adopt one day down the road. See a doctor. Talk to tour husband about the lost babies and how you feel at the moment. It will get better.
YOU shouldn’t have to go through this alone either
Sometimes it takes time and honey you may not be the issue it could have something to do with him or it could be that yall body rejects the other i would have testing ran on both of you first
Men say things without thinking. Please have a talk with your husband and let him know how you feel.
Also why the hell ru not telling the father of ur miscarried babies that u miscarried!? That is unfair as hell!!!
You need to take him with you to the doctor. You both need to grieve for the child you lost. And you need a doctor’s advice on future pregnancies. You get pregnant, you just haven’t been able to maintain it. It might be something simple like not enough thyroid or another hormone. Do you know the date of the last menstrual period before each miscarriage? You need to involve the doctor before you give up your man. Would you give him up if he was sterile?
Talk to someone. This not your fault at all. Talk dr talk to spouse even family.
If your job is manual labor or is stressful that could be the problem my wife had 5 miscarriages while working for Dairy Queen.
What an asshole! He shouldn’t be in the marriage just for kids! It’s not embarrassing it’s life. He shouldn’t be making you feel like this whatsoever! There’s plenty of options. You can have a surrogate or adopt a baby or even more.
The fact that he said that means hes a piece of fucking shit anyway. Leave him.