It won’t change. U say u can’t live alone but does it have 2 be male or family? I don’t know how strictly ur going by ur beliefs. I don’t know much about ur culture/ belief systems so can’t advise very much. If u can a suggestion is 2 seek another roommate. The school should be able 2 accommodate u in a way that would benefit u. If not both of u need 2 seek counseling.
Fk your religion and live alone… it’s only going to get worse.
Move. Your well being and mental state should come first
Get a roommate and get your own place you don’t have to put up with his crap
Clean your side and live the thresh on his side.or you can move out.
Move out. It’s very simple. Not complicated at all
Can you get another roommate or are you required to live with your brother? Does your dad pay the rent & can put monetary punishments on him or kick him out? You need a new roommate bc Mental Healthy is the most important thing!!!
I think there’s a point in your life where being Arab needs to come 2nd in your life not first. It shouldn’t matter what you are you’re an adult kick his ass out and live your life.
You can try hiring a cleaning service to come in once a week and give their bill to your brother. Or, do you have another male relative near by that you can live with.
It sounds like you have stepped into you’re mothers role. Only you can decide if this is acceptable.
Find another relative to live with
Clean your room and let the rest of the house go to pot. If it gets cleaned let him hire it done.
Move out. He’ll never change. Get out.
Maybe you should join a local fb group for Arab women, maybe you could find another woman to live with instead? Better than having to put up with that nonsense
Find him a girlfriend or a wife to clean up after him maybe if he had one he would be cleaner
If you’re living in America, or any country, you can live by their laws. In America you have freedom to do and live where you lit, in a dorm you have lots of roommate s
As long as you continue to clean up after him, he will continue to make the mess. If he leaves dirty dishes or clothes laying around, lay them in front of his bedroom door so he had to walk around them. Stop washing his clothes and dishes. There are so many way to break this. I know, I’ve had to show this tough love before
Move out anyway … that’s a deal breaker … religion isn’t more important than your mental health
Omg did you say he doesn’t shower for months @ a time? What would happen if you were to move out w another Arab relative, or an Arab friend, like a roommate thing?
Throw it all away. When theres no dishes.or whatever id in your way. Oh well. Your a sister not a maid. Can you movr in to student housing??
What country is the university? US UK?
Tell your dad to threaten to take funds away if he continues like that.
Find another arab family to move in with!
The fact your own father used to have trouble with him and now forces you to deal with it is disrespectful. Ask your dad if he can hire a cleaning lady for your living space, it’s the least he can do.
Throw all his trash dirt used plates cups in his room where he sleeps see how long he likes living like that- ANDmake sure he’s mentally okay
I’m assuming you are in the US.
Move out. You have rights. Go no contact with your father and brother. There are other ways to pay for your own education.
I’m not Arabic but have been in a similar situation. I got out! You can too. Take care of your mental health and own welfare because at the end of the day, it all falls back on your own life choices. Don’t allow others to make them for you. It’s YOUR life, NOT your Father’s, or brother’s.
I’m not knocking your customs. But What kind of future do you have ? Men always telling you how to live ? You are in college are you allowed to work after marriage, im sorry I don’t have any answers but what you are going through is Abuse and I don’t see your future ever changing
Get a different roommate.
I’m sure you know this, but just incase you don’t, Saudi Arabia recently passed an amendment that will allow women to live alone without permission from a male “guardian”. I’m not sure if that effects your decision making, I know laws changing does not necessarily mean family values change. Just figured I would throw that out there.
Since he most likely learned this behavior of entitlement from your father, skip your little happy butt to your father and tell him he needs to pay for a maid or correct your brothers behavior. Explain respectfully that if it were not for the archaic tradition that you can not live alone, you would not have to deal with your brother, the slob. Your brother is bullying you and it is sooooo uncool. You are at university to have the same experiences as your brother has the privilege to have, this includes both of you cleaning up after yourself and not having to take care of another adult.
Your brother should be be paying for a cleaning service to come in and clean up after him at least a couple times a week.
If you’re not allowed to live alone, try finding a new roommate? A female your age would be a good idea that way you’re not alone, so you’re not getting in trouble with the family, and you don’t have to deal with your brother anymore.
Western vs. Eastern culture. I am not sure if we can give any sort of weighted advice because we aren’t familiar with your customs.
Something needs to be done, however. Could you send evidence to your parents? Of the neglect? The only other thing that I can think of is to move in with another roommate.
Oh, my Dear, this is a tough but frequent situation! If I may make a quick comparison to my own high school years. My sister and I shared a room, and a. Hall bathroom. Normally, we got along very well. But my carefree and creative style led to a less orderly room than my sister preferred. We eventually started yelling about it. We resolved it by putting a piece of tape down the middle of the room. I kept all my stuff on my side, she kept hers on her side. It wasn’t perfect, but it accomplished the two things which helped: awareness, and boundaries.
In your situation, maybe tape won’t work. But how about a frank and quiet talk with bro about your concerns. And recognize your part in this. There’s no sense calling him names like disgusting. You’re a smart lady, how about observing what motivates him, and work on making subtle improvements. He loves concerts? Offer to buy concert tickets but he must bathe. And clean his area. In order to get them. Another thought is, he may view you as a mother figure. Of course. Sadly, you both lost mom long ago. There is unhealed hurt. Ask the MOM of most teenagers, she will list many of the complaints you have… never ending laundry, turning a deaf ear to requests for help, etc. To break this cycle, you will need to use an approach which includes positive reinforcement. What does he want? His dirtiness suggests anti social leanings. But could it be he has tried for acceptance, and been scorned for it? You must succeed in your studies. Make that priority one. Spend lots of time in class, in the library, at free concerts on campus, or previewing other disciplines like ceramics or theater. I’m truly sorry for the aggravation you feel. But think of this: even in you were rooming with another girl or two, there would be many disagreements. Things like splitting the cost of groceries, and who will do the cooking, and who will get the better bed, etc. It goes on and on. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Learn to negotiate. None of this has anything to do with nationality. It’s manageable if everyone wants it to be. And good practice for adult living later. Finally, I recommend going to a counselor on campus. Encourage him to go, to. He needs someone to believe in him, and set him straight. You are too close (literally!) to resolve this all alone. Good luck.
If you have to pick up all his crap toss it out and let him look for it.
Has he ever been mentally evaluated? There could be more here than just laziness.
What about living with another Arab female from the university?
You’re living in America throw him out
Are y’all living in America because you’re free over here! If your dad cuts you off, clearly he ain’t helping anyways as you stated.
Lock him out. Ask your local tough guy too smarten him up. Daddy doesn’t need to know. Lol.
Brooklyn Raffield Sheppard I thought about you
Can u move in with a female