So sorry for the ridiculous comments on here. Is there anyway your allowed to have female roommates? Does it have to be a male family member? There’s honestly not enough info on here. If you want pm me. Id be glad to try to help you figure this out with no judgment. I just can’t really help without a little more information.
4 Likes
I’d go live by yourself. Who’s going to stop you? It’s 2021, women need to be heard, need to be strong, need to be able to have their own choices, their own lives. You do not live in your country I’m assuming? You said abroad, meaning you are out of country, I am sure there are no laws saying women cannot live alone there. I come from a culture that the women are everything. The women run the show. The women are suppose to be respected, honoured etc. So it’s hard to see how women are treated in other cultures. It’s very sad.
6 Likes
Put all the garbage and his dirty dishes in his room.
I didn’t say it to be funny either. Thats my honest suggestion.
17 Likes
If he leaves his clothes on the floor, throw them in the trash, if he leaves dirty dishes in the sink, put them on his bed or lock a set up for you and leave paper plates for him. If he leaves toothpaste in the sink take the toothpaste away. If he stinks spray him with air freshener when you walk by. If he’s going to act like a child then treat him like one.
Try to get him to a therapist. Not showering FOR MONTHS is a sign of depression.
6 Likes
Maybe look for another place to live with a roommate. Look for ads or start one at a local school. Give him a 30 day notice that you will be moving out. It doesn’t matter what religion or culture you live in, you are a person and deserve to be treated like you are equally important.
6 Likes
Can you find another Arab women to live with? Do you have any Arab friends that may want to move out and have a roommate? That would be my advice.
3 Likes
Maybe u can move in with a friend who is a girl and not live with your brother?
1 Like
Take pictures everyday, create a group text message group with your brother and dad and send them daily. This will hopefully get your dad to open his eyes and either let you move out, or have a serious talk with your brother and help him change. You could also hire a therapist to go over and talk with your brother or a maid if nothing else works.
4 Likes
Do you not have a friend you can live with?
Kick him out it’s 2021 you do anything you want
2 Likes
So stop living by those outdated traditions… go live on your own or stop complaining… you can’t make anyone do anything or expect anything from anyone…
10 Likes
Not showering for months is insane! I couldn’t imagine.
4 Likes
Could living in an all female dorm be an option? Or a sorority or all female living situation?? I hope you find peace.
3 Likes
I would throw all his trash, cups, plates and everything on his bed since he likes to be dirty. 2 can play that game
Gross. I don’t blame you.
I’d get my own place regardless of tradition. Mental health is super important.
11 Likes
Could you get a bigger place with an attic or basement and stick ol stinky in there. Then tell him he isn’t allowed to use the rest of the house when your not home because he doesn’t pick up after himself.
5 Likes
Y’all stop telling her to move out. She’s already said she can’t due to her culture. 2021 or “outdated traditions” aren’t helpful. She’s living by her culture and SHE has that right.
What I’ve learned is you won’t change anyone that doesn’t want to change. Who cleaned for him before you went to Uni? He may also need mental health help but I’m not sure how that would work in your culture because the showering thing could be bipolar. All in all, reach out to your dad but I don’t think he’ll change no matter what you do unless he wants too.
23 Likes
He gets one of everything 1 cup 1 plate 1 bowl 1 of each flatware 1 hand towel 1 kitchen towel 1 bath towel 1 dish rag and 1 wash cloth he can ask for pots and pans if ur the one cleaning them then make a pile or put it all in one basket and if he wants clean stuff he needs to clean his stuff …i know this isnt quiet ur cultures way of doing things but he needs to learn to take care of himself and since ur mother is gone correct me if I’m wrong but that now falls on u…it use to fall on the oldest daughter here in America too so all u Karen’s calm to fluck down…he needs to learn some how and dad obviously isnt going to show him.
6 Likes
Put it all in his bed/room.
2 Likes
Stack all his dishes and all the rest of his mess right in front of his door 
or even better put it in his room ! …
3 Likes
Get him mental health help
7 Likes
Sounds like possibly he has some mental health issues himself? Best of luck to you sweetie 
4 Likes
My brother used to be just like this!
Don’t get me wrong, he’s a good man… Just a slob. Anyway, that all changed when he met his wife. He did everything he could to impress her.
So what I’m getting at is start bringing women around. Make him want to change.
3 Likes
Definitely do your research. I know in Saudi Arabia, as of June of this year, women are allowed to travel and live where they please without the permission of their guardian. Judicial authorities have replaced a legal statute stipulating that a male guardian has authority over a woman’s living circumstances with a new text stating: “An adult woman has the right to choose where to live. A woman’s guardian can report her only if he has evidence proving she committed a crime.” It wouldn’t hurt to do a little digging and then maybe you can get your own apartment or place to live where your mental health won’t suffer nor will you be mentally abused by your brothers toxic behaviors. I am not sure where you are, but other Arab territories are following suite.
12 Likes
Start throwing his stuff away.
6 Likes
Maybe he needs to see a therapist? This all sounds like it could be contributed to by mental health issues, particularly depression. If not and he is just a grub, I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. I’m not familiar with the culture, do you have to live with a family member or could you move out with a friend?
2 Likes
Throw whatever he leaves out in the garbage. That’s what I started doing to my kids. I don’t care what it is. If I gotta pick it up it’s at risk to be considered trash.
Jessica Bolling I’ve also read that their smell is normal because it also has something to do with culture (for men). But don’t go down my throat because it’s confusing to me still.
1 Like
People need to stop telling this young lady to move on and move it. She could be disowned by her family or worse, they could literally cut her head off. “But she’s away from family.” No, no she isn’t. She’s with her brother and brothers have been KNOWN for taking those killings into their own hands. I like the group chat text idea. Take pictures daily and send them to dad and see about getting the brother some help. It’s really not normal to go months without a shower. He sounds depressed.
6 Likes
My deepest sympathy for being trapped in a culture whos doctrine is patriarchy and misogyny, I can imagine its your duty to take care of your male relative or lose your college funding and possibly more
4 Likes
If your in America you can leave and live alone unless you’d rather not
9 Likes
Collect all of his trash and dirty plates, etc. and put it in his room. Maybe he’ll get the hint that your not his maid.
If ur in USA u can move. Culture be damned ur not his housemaid or keeper
1 Like
Have a heart to heart with your dad? Maybe he would let you move out of you can explain? And then dad can deal with your brother after your gone. He will never get or keep a wife if he’s a slob! Just being honest
1 Like
I’d move out sorry but I’d refuse to take care of a grown man.
4 Likes
Maybe you can get dad to live with you or an aunt and uncle even if that means transferring to another university. Theres got to be one you can go to . Then brother can live in his own mess.
5 Likes
Check out living in a dorm.
4 Likes
Do you have any other Arab friends who’s family would take you in? You’d still be chaperoned and not have to take care of your brother. If you’re Muslim have you talked to your Imam? Your Imam would have a better chance of getting through to your brother
6 Likes
damn, such a shame to be controlled by another human being bc of stupid ass religious beliefs
i feel sorry for her period.
your 18 baby girl -
do your own thing - and make it fast- live a NEW life and leave that shitty religious shit in the past bc its 2021, almost 2022 - and the world is dying fast - and your gonna let your dad and family keep you cooped up in the house - all your life.
such a shame
Are you living in an Arab country? I think you’d have the right to move out in most any other country.
1 Like
Can you move out with a friend?
If you’re not in an Arab country that doesn’t have a law that says you have to live with a male mahram then stop using culture as an excuse. It has no basis and maybe you can room with a couple of females
6 Likes
First off you are in America you are 18 get your own place smh I just can’t wrap my head around this why come to America where you have these freedoms and then not embrace them
4 Likes
Move with a friend or girl roommates? Or maybe only clean your mess. Like only use one side of the stove, fridge, etc and put all his mess on the other side?
I think your bro is going through something. Maybe try not getting haste and coming at him for the things he ‘can’ control like cleaning but chat more about what has been out of his control, what’s preventing those such cares and movements??? I think this is possibly mental health related???
Get parents after him! Brat
You being arab does not necessarily mean you have to be a maid for your family so do not generalize things. Tell your father or just go to a uni campus simple…
6 Likes
Invite friends over maybe he will be embarrassed by it then
1 Like
Throw his trash on his bed 
. Stop cleaning up for that man. Talk to your father about finding another person to live with. But as someone said in the comments I’m pretty sure some of those cou tries with those views are now allowing women to live on their own.
You need to ask some Arab people, I think.
3 Likes
I’m In the same exact bs mess!! Except mine is my husband my oldest son (19) and 2 adult roommates!! We also have 3 other teenagers that visit every weekend sooo im constantly cleaning up after everyone and everything every day!!! Im so over it and I’ve tried talking about it and nothing happens nobody cares at all!! Im literally to the point of leaving my own house. Im going crazy
3 Likes
Is your father paying for your living I assume and school? So unfortunately your most likely stuck and can’t move out. Maybe can you hire a cleaner to come out once a week so Atleast you have to pick up daily?
I would start taking all trash and things he leaves around the house, dirty dishes whatever and throw it in his room on his bed.
I feel so sorry for you. But more sorry for his future wife! It’s hard to give you advice based on what I would do because I’m from another culture and there is no way my dad would let my brother even live in the house if he was like that. I would definitely move out if I was treated like the family slave. Hopefully you can find a solution soon. 
is there a different relative you can live with or a women’s dorm or something.
Time to break from tradition and move out. Find yourself and don’t live under family rule if it is affecting your mental well being.
11 Likes
Thats tough. I kicked my brother out because of that lol 
I tried talking to him but honestly some people just don’t care. However maybe you can find a cool Arab girl to live with? But idk how everything works.
If it’s affecting your mental health I’d break tradition and move out and get your own place
8 Likes
I pray you get a way out ! That is terrible. Hopefully you can live somewhere else so you won’t have to live in that situation honey 
1 Like
I saw a post where a lady had problems with her kids room being messy. So she scattered black rice in their room, stating those were rat droppings. They never messed their room again and kept it clean. Maybe he needs a wake up call by having to deal with the repercussions of his filth.
1 Like
Talk to your dad about possibly living with someone else, even if he hand picks them. Tell your dad what you need for mental, emotional, physical growth.
3 Likes
Hurry up and find your love so you can very out of their. Buy him some body wash, deodorant and cologne
Record his mess and blast him on his social media.
My brother was disgusting when we were younger and it took me recording his room and mattress and basically trail of filth to get it through his head he’s gross. He moved out. But I didn’t have to clean after him again.
1 Like
Tell him to leave and don’t let the door hit you in the backside on the way out.
Find a friend and move in with her.
Take his trash each day open his bedroom door and throw it in. You are not helping him by being his personal maid.
Being Arab shouldn’t stop you from becoming independent. Get a roommate if you can’t afford it on your own. It’s not your responsibility to take care of adults.
1 Like
I would get rid of everything and only keep necessities make him use paper plates and bowls and keep a single set of good ones for yourself
1 Like
Your here now so you can do what you want let your brother stand on his own two feet 
2 Likes
I couldn’t imagine having to live under someone else’s rule. Consider breaking with tradition and living for your life. Maybe start spraying him with deodorant or Febreeze until you figure it out. I feel deeply for you. 
Take all his dirty things he leaves behind or around and put them in his room
Maybe invite a beautiful girl over give him a wakeup call someone he wouldn’t want them knowing how lives.
1 Like
Nothing but consider moving in with an Arab family
Devide the house , do you have two bathrooms? Share only the kitchen and tell him he cleans or pays for a house keeper point blank .
Only clean up after yourself. Stack his dishes and laundry and trash so he can see what mess he leaves behind. He will eventually get the hint. You’re not his mother or his wife and he’s taking advantage of you. Stop doing it.
2 Likes
Keep your space clean, wash your dishes . Keep them where you can use them , leave all the mess for him. Make a it visually that the problem is his even if one side of house is clean vs one side a mess. Don’t make your self crazy about it. When he leaves the house , ask him hey can you take the trash on your way out, etc. Only make food for yourself, if he wants some tell him if you help me cleanup the dishes or whatever else then I will have the space to cook. Basically just stop doing for him period and making things convenient. You are not giving him any reason to change.
4 Likes
Just move out, that is crazy to me…
1 Like
Stop allowing yourself to be boxed into a prison of beliefs from a country far away and live your life how you want.
6 Likes
Are you allowed to live with other girls? Perhaps you could find a female roommate to live with.
2 Likes
If able, I would look into getting a new roommate. Men are hard to live with and especially family at that age. It sounds like you have taken on a big role in caring for your family and that is wonderful of you. At some point though you have to set yourself free so you can have your own life and grow into the person you want to be. Who ever you live with should help you out and respect your areas and privacy. You shouldn’t have to clean up after him at all for his age. That is very stressful on a you and unfortunately he knows you’re going to clean it so he’ll never pick it up - taking advantage of you for sure. If you cannot find a new roommate I would suggest to keep your area clean and leave his. This will be hard but at some point he will pick it up. He just has to learn that you’re not going to do it for him. This will take time and a lot of patience from you.
2 Likes
You do not need to stay…leave.
Sounds like he needs therapy maybe he’s still dealing with your moms death. He may have been older enough for it affect him. 
2 Likes
Pick up all his trash and keep putting it on his bed until he gets the hint.
5 Likes
If being Arab means your not allowed to live alone have you thought of applying to an all girls university? Bring this up with your family, have plenty of documentation, pictures. There are many fine all girls colleges all over the world that are highly respected.
6 Likes
Kick his ass out and live by yourself
1 Like
People like him never change.
2 Likes
Buy some big black trash bags and tell him anything that he leaves out in the common area you’re going to put in the trash bags and throw them out. Give him one week to get his stuff into his room and get used to the new rule. Also save yourself some work and buy paper plates and plastic silverware so they can be thrown out and less work for you to do! As for not showing, soak him with a hose or bucket of water! Can you live with another female? If so look for a female roommate and get your own place so you can set the rules!!
3 Likes
Stop telling her to live by herself. She’s stated that’s not an option. Respect that.
11 Likes
Why can’t Arabs live alone?
Well if you can’t live alone and he won’t change I’d just find a new roommate , or does it have to be family ?
2 Likes
Are you in the united states? There are all sorts of resources for foreigners I thought. Go to social services and ask what is available. If he’s that messy maybe he has some mental health issues too. Depression etc. Don’t let your nationality stop you from moving towards a better you. I hope you figure out something and find a better place for yourself
4 Likes
You might be an Arab but you are in America… you can choose to do something different and get your own place
3 Likes
Get yourself a female friend to share an apartment with.
4 Likes
Are you involved in your religious community where you live now? Maybe another woman could take you in? I know your options are limited. I wish you the best.
2 Likes
Sorry to say but seems like he’s been brought up where a woman does all the household chores. Unfortunately he will not change!
1 Like
Maybe he has mental health issues. Get him help.
i dont think you will be able to do this , he is ingrained in this pattern . i think it will only get worse
1 Like
Be messier than him.and don’t clean at all
Is he on drugs, pls check his pockets for pkts and if he sleeps 2 days straight then be alerted
Fuck your family and your pathetic culture/religion. You’re a fucking human being, live alone or find a flatmate you actually want to be with. Your mental health and your life is more important than your religion…
3 Likes
Find a roommate and move!
1 Like