This question was submitted anonymously by real people looking for real advice. Please be mindful with your responses. No bashing or derogatory comments will be tolerated.
You explain to her how to stay safe. Both using condoms and birthcontrol. Explain to her about consent and that she can always say no. And do your best to be understanding and supportive so she will come to you with stuff like this
Definitely don’t yell or judge her. Have a conversation and let her know she can always come to you. Do your best to teach her the wrong and wrongs. What’s a myth and what isn’t. Being honest and open with your child will go a long way.
Be supportive without giving permission, if that makes sense. Make sure she is well informed with how to protect herself. Talk about consent. Take her to the Gynecologists’, discuss birth control. and take a DEEP breath!
Move away from your brother in Alabama!
Have a raw open honest conversation with the child. Make sure they know what safe sex is. Make sure they know they can always say no to sex. And if someone says no then it means no.
Why does all comments say her. It didn’t say if it was a boy or girl.
Praying for you! Ahh I don’t know I would be a bit emotional and worried for sure !
Explain to her about safe sex and how at her age it’s not ideal emotionally and that you prefer her not to but if it happens make sure she is well protected from STD/STI and the chance of becoming a young mother. Atleast that’s what I’d do
Talk openly and don’t shame or they’ll never tell you anything again.
Ahhhh having a 13 yr old is crazy
I would definitely have a conversation. No judgment just a gentle talk about how to protect yourself
Well, kids are aging fast these days. Time for some real talk.
Don’t panic. I was 13, and I’m with the same guy and we have two kids. Just explain the safe ways, explain consent (both giving and getting), and don’t let her think this some really big dramatic happening.
Step one: Be there for her so she feels comfortable coming to you. Step two Birth Control. Step three: seek help to find out why your daughter has decided to engage in sex at only 13! That is way too young! Was she pressured by peers or boyfriend ? Would counseling help? Find how to help her so she doesn’t continue this at her age! Good luck and hugs.
Start buying baby clothes. Conversation little too late
Talk and communication. Talk about protection.
Why do most people assume this 13 year old is female -
Unfortunately Normal I was 14. Just talk with her about being safe and open
Love him/her. Start with a hug and say I love you. Have a conversation about the day and ease into explaining the importance of safety and ask them to please be honest and you will not get mad. Tell them although you do not condone it you will not judge them. End the talk with another hug.
I found this out about my son at the same age. I was open with him and told him that I felt he was way to young to be doing things like that. I also made sure he knew the responsibilities of being safe and contest from the other party.
While it turned out to be a not very good experience for my son, I felt by being calm and open with him that it made things easier.
FYI… I cried my eyes out when I went to bed that night
Real adult conversation. Explain all the things that comes with having sex. From emotional, to diseases, Dr visits and testing, and pregnancy. Provide them with the resources to learn about all these things, answer their questions, and provide resources to contraceptives.
Have a calm talk with her , don’t assume just ask questions in a nice way. Saying this because I was traumatized with my whole family thinking I was pregnant because I had sex one time
Talk about safe sex and be open to listening without passing judgment. Make sure Birth control/condoms are accessible.
Teach them how to practice safe sex cuz what’s done is done at this point.
Have a gentle talk with your child about protection and what sex is and what it means. Remind them the responsibility of having a child and how hard it can be. I would consider getting them more responsibilities since they have the time to have sex maybe time to get them going more responsibilities or extra curricular activists
Why is everyone assuming this is a 13 year old girl? Wtf
Why is everyone assuming this is about a girl? It doesn’t state the gender!!
Don’t judge, offer birth control or condoms…
You gon have to have a talk real straight talk! And ask her what lil boy her age is ready to be a dad? Put her on some birth control ASAP!
Talking in general whether a boy or girl This mom needs to talk to her child about protection and consequences without protection. Sex it’s not a bad thing and definitely normal thing. Education is the key here.
Be open but don’t make her feel judged…I’m so not ready for this I have 4 girls
Try not to over react bc that can make it worse. Also make sure you have a talk with them about being safe …
Talk to them about safe sex, get them whatever supplies they may need in order to have it
All is easier said than done. First of all, DONT feel bad or feel like a failure or like you could’ve said or done more to prevent it. Kids are all going to experiment at some point. Whether or not you have or haven’t had a conversation one needs to happen, soon. I’m not sure where you stand on contraception so I don’t want to force it on you if it’s not something you believe in but I highly suggest it, mama. It’ll take that reproductive part out of your mind but also push the awareness of STI’s and STD’s. Make sure he or she is fully aware of everything that comes with sex.
& for you I suggest a night or weekend with wine! best of luck.
Lolll I had my first time at 13… and my mom isn’t happy and yell at me! So I didn’t listen her at all. Because her advises were suck. So I still had sex! I asked my mom to get birth control and she had no choice to do. I wish that my mom didn’t yell or so. My mom never trusted me because I don’t tell her at all because she yells at me all time I have a daughter, I will make sure that she has a good education without judge or yell:)
Omg ,birth control asap
I would say offer birth control and condoms. Better to prepare them.
Don’t over react and have an honest, open conversation to explain the good, the bad and the ugly. And offer to answer any questions. Better to have accurate info from you than ‘facts’ from friends. I used to do a ten mentoring program and kids this age thought that spinning in circles would make sperm dizzy and fall back out so as long as the girl spins after sex, then they were safe. It frightened me and made me realize how important accurate info is!
Time to have a really straight conversation with them. Lay it all out. Educate them… because at the very least, if he/she is going to continue to make the decision to have sex… at least it is an educated decision. And maybe they will think twice to use protection/birth control etc.
Tell them about the long nights with a newborn, the friends they’ll likely lose, and the inability to do the things they truly enjoy for a little while.
Make sure you discuss consent. and how No, means No. Not “ask again later” or attempt to change the person’s mind.
I know that when my time comes, I plan on being super blunt and honest about sex when it comes to my children. Making sure they know they’re allowed to ask questions, and that they can always come and talk to me.
My biggest fear definitely isn’t them having sex, it’s a natural thing and something our bodies are programmed to want.
I fear my babies first heart break more than that.
Birth control all the way!
My daughter was 16 and I did not handle it well at all. Which I regret. I didn’t yell or scream or anything but I still didn’t handle it well. She got on birth control and we had the “talk”. I explained birth control won’t protect you from std’s and it’s not a free pass to sleep with every Tom, dick or Harry. She’s 19 and still not pregnant so I guess she listened and kept up the birth control. She moved out at 17.5 years old. If nothing else at least she took the advice well
Birth control/condoms, make sure they know you are there for them, make sure they understand they have the right to say no and some of the phrases that people use to pressure other people. Most importantly, make sure they know they are loved, sex is natural, but precautions are a must.
Try to stay calm. Make sure they used protection and offer to take them to check for stds. Talk to them about what safe sex is. How to use proper contraceptives.
I unfortunately started doing things when I was 13 only oral at the time. When I was 16 I told my mom I wanted to have sex we have a close relationship so It was easy to tell her this. She took me to the health department and got me on birth control and I got condoms as well. I have had the talk already with my 10 year old and told her she can always be open with me and honest I will not judge her or be upset with her but would like to know the truth so we can prepare for safe sex. Just talk to your child openly let him or her have the floor and don’t be upset or feel bad about this happening. Just tell your child you wish they would’ve come to you sooner so they could’ve been safe about it. Explain the risk of STD’s and pregnancy. Hang in there momma you’re doing a good job!
Birth control, condoms, offer advice in staying safe and breathe momma… anger won’t help, make her aware of the struggles of teen pregnancy to ensure she makes smart choices and protects herself.
Buy condoms. Start showing pictures of STDs and have condom races using bananas…
Just talk. No judgment, no scolding, nothing. Just talk about it and have the talk about being safe and start giving her a strong sex education
I didn’t have a lot of information growing up and ended up getting pregnant at 20. Not as bad as getting pregnant at 13 or 16 but still was very hard to do before I had a stable career and also going to college at the time. I wish my mom would’ve taken it more seriously to have a conversation with me about birth control and alternatives to condoms. Because guys will absolutely try to talk you out of using them. So definitely when my daughter is that appropriate age I will explain all of her options to her. Women’s health is important. And birth control helps with things other than pregnancy. It’s smart to make sure she knows about frequent checkups and testing after each partner she has. You can never be too careful or safe.
Have a calm talk with her – start off by asking her what she knows including if she knows the dangers of having sex too. Please please please don’t discourage her, but educate her. Coming down hard on her will only make her not open about it with you and God forbid something terrible happens you want her to feel comfortable coming to you
Just talk. No judgment, no scolding, nothing. Just talk about it and have the talk about being safe and start giving her a strong sex education
Get birth control or condoms. Tell them how to use condoms. Teach consent and openly talk with them.
Educate them!! Talk about it even if its uncomfortable af for both of you. Give them the information to make informed decisions
Put her on BC and make sure to talk to her and answer all questions she has.
Hope he or she loves your kid
My parents weren’t easy to speak to which resulted in me getting pregnant after my very first time having sex at 13 (keep in mind he was 17 before you judge me) so be calm with them and explain to them that they need to be safe and protected or else these kinds of things as well as STIs can happen. The worst thing you can do is be angry about it, especially since your child obviously felt ready for this next step in life.
After the private melt down ,tears and thoughts of murder talk with he or she and put her on birth control
My mom was very open about sex conversations so was my step dad they would always have a secret stash of condoms that I could access if I needed them and would re fill without question.
Educate and talk. Just have a normal conversation. Be honest about your experience both good and bad. Take them for a check up with a Dr. but, don’t go into the room with them unless they want you to. Talk to them about protection for both girls and boys, consent (that if someone has drugs and alcohol in their system they can not give consent). Just have a normal informative talk and leave it open so that if they have any questions or worries the know they can talk to you about it without any judgement.
Also, side note. Tell them that being on the pill is not 100% (my oldest was conceived while I was on the pill). Also that condoms can break and be defective so they are not 100% as well. So let them know that every time they have sex it could result in a baby no matter what was used to stop that.
Time for the talk and talking to a doctor about birth control.
Just talk to them. Don’t be mad. That does nothing but makes people lash out and do it even more. (That’s for all things). And it makes them not want to tell you things. I’ve never understood why people get so mad about this behavior. It’s normal to have sex or send pics. Especially with this generation. Sex isn’t valued like it used to be. It’s just an activity between 2 people. Is it smart? No… Especially pictures. But you can’t stop them. If people wanna do something, they’ll find a way to do it. Just be supportive and get them birth control and/or condoms. And make sure they know every action has a consequence.
It’s time to give her/he a fake baby for them to take care of that the 1 that seem real that they have to take care of. I bet they wont have sex for a long time lol. Tell them they want to act grown by having sex at a young age tell them this is what can happen and hand them the baby
If they are under 17, remind them if parents want to press charges they can be charged as a pediphile and that doesn’t go away. It’s worth it to wait.
Screw with putting HER on birth control talk to the male and have him step up to a vasectomy. A female can only have 1 child at a time, a male can impregnate several females. Also the risk are great on birth control and a vasectomy can be reversed
First I’d schedule a GYN visit. Then sit down and just have a heart to heart on where you stand about it. Do it when you can be semi calm. I believe that no matter how much you try to steer your kids, sometimes they are going to do what they want to do, no matter how much you plead or demand from them. So I’d figure out a plan for “if” she continues to participate in sexual activity. Sending you lots of prayers
Do not put her on birth control
To late safety and self pride wont make you pretty or more liked you just gave away alittle of yourself you wont get back …is it worth it?
I’ll keep it as real as possible!
DO F******* SOMETHING!
I had a baby at 13 years old!
I beg of you to DO SOMETHING!
I disagree with pretty much every comment I’ve seen on here… I feel like 13 is way too young, they are still a kid. They are too young to be having sex and if they are that young having sex it’s either because the parents are crappy and supportive of underage sex. Or the parents are neglectful and they are looking for “love” in unhealthy ways. Or they are struggling with mental health issues and are trying to cope. Or peer pressure. I don’t think giving them the “talk” and getting them on birth control and giving them condoms is the right response. They shouldn’t be having sex at 13. You should remain calm, absolutely, but you should be asking your child what is going on in their life that is making them believe they are ready for sex at 13.
God some of these answers are bogus. 1. Go to a gynecologist and have a full examination and std test and get education on birth control options for her to choose one 2. Schedule a therapist appointment with a licensed counselor who can help the teen sort out their feelings 3. Sit them down and have an honest talk about sex and the pros and cons. 4. Give yourself and your offspring grace. 5. Do not shame them! It will send them straight into the arms of the person who they are having sex with (or someone else!).
BIRTH CONTROL! have the talk and make sure u show her other forms of protection and how 2 use it. Make sure she understands the consequences that come with intercourse. Theres really nothing u can do now just be glad she was comfortable enough to come 2 u about it.
Educate them on how to be safe
Birth control and educate. Dont freak out because she will just continue to hide things and feel that she cant talk to you.
Birth control!!! She’s going to have sex whether you like or not so make sure she protects herself
make sure it doesn’t happen again! With who, where, why??? I mean come on. That’s just nuts.
Firstly going too hard will maker her rebel more , sit down and talk to her about sex and the repercussions .
Birth control is a good idea because regardless how attentive a parent thinks they are the reality is our kids do these things and we can’t always stop it .
Have an open honest conversation, make sure they are able to come to you with anything. Stress about safe sex practices, consent and make sure they are well informed
You should deff talk but birth control?? On a 13 year old we don’t know if there could be any damages to that small body & im sorry but whereeee & howww did it even happen
honestly i would say just don’t tare your child down and just talk to them about protection. that’s the best thing to do honestly and just ask that they don’t do it in your house. after everything is said and done, you are the parent and you will do what you think is right. i do have to say i was happy with my moms reaction when i told her. cause i tell you what, that’s a big step for a child to come forward about to their parents always & the last thing you want to do is make them feel like they would’ve been better off not telling you
Make sure they are protected and have all the information they need about teen pregnancy and STI’s.
I would much rather see a 13 year old on birth control rather than have a baby she can’t take care of.
And make sure they know about protection.
Well you can’t undo it so don’t even stress what’s already happened. Worry about moving forward. Teach him/her about safe sex.
Take him/her to get tested. Talk about it.
But please do not make it a negative thing, it will cause rebellion and make it hard for you to be part of making sure him or her is safe about the actions.
If a daughter, it’s time to have a discussion about STI’s, consent, birth control, and begin yearly visits with a trusted gynecologist. If a son, discussions about protection, STI’s and consent. And whatever else you as a parent feel necessary. Every parent is different and every child is different. Communication is key! Try not to be judgmental, be open about your feelings and hopefully they will as well.
Have the sex talk, take her to the dr to make she’s not pregnant. If it’s your son make sure his girlfriend is not pregnant reach out to the parents. Then birth control for sure!!
Educate about safe sex.
How old is the boy ? It’s rape, she is not old enough to consent ! Police, morning after pull and the longest grounding ever. Time to sit her down for a good talking too. Take away phone, computer, etc. You need to get tough or you going to be grand mother soon. Birth control is not the goal answer. She still needs to practice SAFE sex. Just my opinion, I tend to be tough.
Birth control and education do not be dumb enough to think you can prevent it
Your children having sex is inevitable. Don’t tell them off, as it will make them uncomfortable and they won’t be honest with you. Use it to educate, make sure birth control measures are in place. I got pregnant at 13 and I wish my parents educated me.
Talk about how important consent is and have a discussion around birth control and safe sex.
Keep an open dialogue now because they will likely continue having sex and you can only make sure they’re safe about it and understand any repercussions that can arise from their choice to do so.
Drs for birth control and condoms in her room
Coming from someone who lost their virginity at that age the worst thing you could do is shame him/her. Understand that it happens. Try to be as open and honest as possible. Take them to a doctor for birth control or protection. I can’t even describe what my Mom did or how she behaved after she found out I lost mine and it has still been a hard subject in our past and a weight on our relationship. In no way shape or form am I saying you have no right to be upset or disappointed but please don’t make them feel like a monster for it.
Tell her that she can catch an STD
Talk to him/her about it, ask them if they used protection. Be nice, understanding and answer any questions. It’s better your child is informed than not. Get them on BC if your child is a girl. As long as you inform them to be safe, you shouldn’t worry. Kids will be kids, but as long as they’re safe you can stress a little less.
As a mother who had her first child at 15… trying to be the “police” in this situation is only going to make her/him keep things from you. They will not be open about what they are doing and therefore you will not be able to help or advise them in anything. Talk to them, let them know the consequences are real. Sex is a natural thing and unfortunately, sometimes it happens earlier than most mothers prefer. Regardless, your child needs to know that you still love them even though you are highly disappointed and that just because they had sex doesn’t mean that they are a bad person/child.
Teach them about protection and consent.
Nothing, teach him/her safe sex
To late to do anything now should of thought about it when he or she were growing up but you should set a good example and not let them see whoever they had the sex with And tell the parents
I dont know whether its a girl or a boy…but definitely have the talk with them about protection and safe sex and if its a girl I’d highly suggest that you get her on birth control.
My sister fell pregnant when she was 13 years old and had her baby when she was 14 and i would say that my parents was partly to blame because they never spoke about sex in our household or with us so what we knew that time we learned about at school.
And whenever something like that would came up on tv or a movie the channels would get changed.
And being as curious and wanting to explore my sister fell pregnant
That day my mother and father nearly died when they found out🙈they were extremely upset and very disappointed
They blamed themselves for not educating us.
Provide education on sex, how to have safe sex and the consequences of unsafe sex. Like painful std’s, pregnancy or even just regret.
Make your child feel like they can come to you for anything (condoms, birth control, advice) and ask any question. Because wether you like it or not if your child is going to have sex wether you allow it or not.