I just found out that me and my sister are not my dads kids…we did the ancestry DNA thing and both of my parents knew we were doing it and never said anything…which makes me think that my dad is not aware that we are not technically his kids…it doesnt matter to me because hes my dad and has always been amazing but i am struggling with saying something…and wanting to find out who my real dad is…but it makes me wonder if my mom stepped out of their marriage or not and im conflicted. how should i handle this? i really wish i never found this informaiton out
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I just found out my dad is not my real dad: What do I do? - Mamas Uncut
Talk to your mom first and ask.
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Speak to your mom. Could be you were from a sperm donor on purpose. If not she will have a chance to come clean.
Wow! This must be such a shock to you, your dad probably knows but they were probably hoping you both wouldn’t find out?!? Maybe speak to your mum about it? Xxxx
Wow…I’m sorry you had to find out that way. Maybe bring it Up to your mom in private and ask her if there is a possible way that you girls are not his kids and then let her know that you are going to talk to him about it and maybe you guys can get a better dna test done
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Talk to your mum get the answers you need from her before breaking your dad’s heart 
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But he is your real dad he raised u and I love you as his own
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Talk to your mom in private first.
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Talk to mom, perhaps theres a story where yall existed prior to ur daddy comin along?
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The truth can hurt sometimes.
Ask him. He more than deserves to know. Perhaps they never knew how to tell you, and since you were doing the DNA test you’d find out, and make it easier.
Either way, talk to them. Don’t let him keep living a possible lie.
Did it confirm she’s your mom? Maybe adopted?
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Maybe they used ivf or something I would start with mom but it might not be as bad you think
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Ancestry dna is not the same as a paternity test. How are you so sure that your dad is not your dad?
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Perhaps she doesn’t know that happens not saying it in a bad way at all!
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Maybe he stepped up to the plate when u were born
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Talk to your mother privately
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Just confront her. All you can do, otherwise it will eat you up.
Talk to your mom 1st to prevent dads heartbreaking
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Could you possibly be adopted? Maybe born via a surrogate using donor sperm?
Go to your mom and have a one on one first.
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I would bring it up to your mom first
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Talk to your mom first.
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Talk to your mum, it’s too heavy to carry on your shoulders
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Maybe they were unable to conceive ? And used a donor ? Doesn’t always have to a bad case scenario
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Your mother may not even know,especially if it was a long time ago and she stepped out. She may have been unfaithful, but believes you two are his children hence why she didn’t forewarn or try to stop. At this point, I’d probably say nothing to him, but I question her privately. He’s your father regardless.
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I would just leave it alone. He’s the one that’s been there the whole time. I’ve never been in that situation but I know someone who has. But if it were me I wouldn’t want someone that has taken care of me my entire life feeling heartbroken. If that makes sense
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Talk to your mom first. If anything, don’t trust the results.
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Leave it alone. You about to open up a big keg of worms!
Go to your mom she has the answers and you deserve the truth.
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I found out my dad wasn’t my real dad but it never changed the way I felt about him and also met my real dad they have both passed treasure the moments with your dad he raised you don’t punish yourself or him hugs
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Talk to your mom in private
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Talk to your Mom. Don’t let our Dad be hurt by this. He’s your Dad! Good Luck! My heart really goes out to you!
I would talk to mom first. Dad may or may not know. I know someone who’s mom knew their dad couldnt have kids but dad didn’t know because he didn’t open the results and she couldn’t bear to tell him since he wanted kids so badly. Ended up that she got a sperm donor who looked like him with similar health history and no one knew until after he died.
Sounds like you need to have a conversation with your mom
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If he filled the role of a real dad, he is your real dad.
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Totally different than a paternity test.
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Personally let it go.i raised thre that aren’t biological. One when we married and two from her infidelity. He is your dad there is no other. My boys know but they want nothing to do or even know the real sperm donor. It would kill your father if you seek the donor. Do dad a favor and don’t… he your dad enough said
How did you find out through AncestryDNA that he’s not your dad? Sometimes people are told that their background is something it actually isn’t.
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Wait how you know he’s not your dad if he did not take a test to
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You’re old enough to decide what you want to do!
So sorry it happened
What does your mom say
I would leave it alone, you love this man like a real dad. don’t rock the boat.
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I would definantly do a TRUE DNA test before you talk to your dad!!! But… maybe talk to your mom alone first to see what she says. Me…I wouldn’t trust an online ancestry test that may upset the whole family when it may not even be true!!!
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Honey I would question mom in private and then go from there
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Don’t carry the mistakes others made! Sit both your mom, and dad and talk to them. If your mom stepped out (twice) she needs to be held accountable. Your father figure also deserves the truth alongside you. Confront your mom, and do what your heart feels best
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Outright ask your mom. You deserve to know the truth for medical reasons, etc.
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Family dinner convo! I would be asking what’s the deal
I’m adopted, and from my perspective, your dad IS your real dad. Your real dad is the person who raised you, who was there for you, who hugged you, tucked you in at night, and supported you through life. DNA has nothing to do with being a parent. You aren’t wondering about a “real dad”. You’re wondering about a sperm donor.
There’s also more than one explanation. Your dad might be a chimera, which could make the paternal DNA come back differently.
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Approach your mom privately. It isn’t your place to put her out there if she did step out. But by approaching her about it, she’ll know the gig is up
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You deserve to know the truth. Why did your mom lie to you all these years?
That is unfair, especially to you and the man who you call father (if he didn’t know) and the man who is your father (if your mom kept it a secret)
I did a 23 and me. Also did one for my mom. Only to find out that my grandfather isn’t her real dad… my moms 72 and has no clue. Maybe do research but leave them out of it?
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I’d only talk privately with mom first and decide from there. Maybe she had somehow convinced herself that chances are both yours and your sisters pregnancies could have been from your dad.
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How does Ancestry equate to paternity? They’re two completely different things.
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They could of used a sperm donor
I would sit down and talk to your Mom about it. I wouldn’t keep it from your dad either though, I’m sure he feels the same way about being your dad no matter what, but when you find out the truth, I’d talk to dad if he doesn’t already know. I wouldn’t betray his trust just because someone else has
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As being an adopted person(adopted by my dad, biological mom) i found out when i was 7 that he wasnt my real dad. If you love him as your dad nothing has to change.
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I’d sit them both down. Asking the mom privately gives her room to connive and manipulate you. Let her explain to you both how it happened. It’s not you destroying their marriage but if you talk to her and give her a chance to explain…not fair to your dad. It’s possible neither know and have always assumed you were his. They may have had a donor and didn’t know how to tell you…may have been separated.
Are y’all full
Siblings?
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I would start with asking mom
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Ancestry DNA is so different from Paternity DNA. My cousins Father had another child after he had a vasectomy!!! And back in the 70’s they didn’t do reversals. The girl then took a paternity DNA and found out my cousins father was NOT her real father. So don’t believe every thing, your Dad is your REAL Dad!
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If your dad doesn’t know, why destroy him now?
Talk to your mom in private if you must.
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1st of all, your Dad loves you. Regardless of who birthed you. I would be gentle in asking as they may have been scared you would hate them. They may not have said anything bcs they were protecting you. So please be understanding when you do ask.
Did it link you with a biological dad that isn’t him? I’m confused on the fact of how it isn’t him. Just trying to make sure there isn’t a misunderstanding somewhere. He has to take a test too for it to link to you.
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Although you do deserve to know the truth but does it matter he stepped up on someone else step down. I understand wanting to know family that’s blood related but sometimes water thicker than blood 
We found out my grandfather is not my fathers real Dad as well.
Hugs and prayers … You deserve the truth! What a difficult position to be in!
Idk how it would work on a genealogy DNA test, but some people are chimeras with two different sets of DNA. I know you can “fail” a paternity/maternity test this way, but I’m thinking genealogy would show it as an uncle being your father or something like that.
Even if he’s not your biological father he’s still your dad if he did the important parts
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For sure talk to your mom. If he doesn’t know, he deserves to know.
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You and your sister can have adopted different ancestry results with the same parents. Look into a real DNA test.
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truthful question: did your parents ever do any fertility treatment? my neighbor found out not too long ago that her bio dad was actually the doctor. it was a huge blow up case. he’d fathered like 50 kids or something.
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I would sit down and talk to your Mom about it. I wouldn’t keep it from your dad either though, I’m sure he feels the same way about being your dad no matter what, but when you find out the truth, I’d talk to dad if he doesn’t already know. I wouldn’t betray his trust just because someone else has
Do you both have the same bio dad?
You have a right to know real Dad
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If you need to know ask your Mom. It’s up to her if she wants to tell him. Don’t judge, appreciate your life and move on.
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Go to your mum first, my little man doesn’t know his real dad and his half sister lives with his grandmother, I know this in the future things will be asked and probably done like this but I left a very abusive relationship and my man has taken on that father role and we’ve talked about him adopting him in the future. He probably already knows but it could be just a topic they didn’t want to look back at and you guys are happy and that your mum probably didn’t know how to go about it when you told her, if my son did this I’d be like fuck Kay it’s time to have a sit down but I have years to go I know my answer gonna keep changing but that’s also a chapter we closed in our life that still hard to relive. 
Parents are made from actions not blood. You are who you are regardless of DNA. You’ve got this far without the sperm donour however a girl could always do with more love. Up to you guys what you want to do.
I’m not understanding how you know he’s not your dad? If it’s because your fathers side isn’t where he claims it is maybe your dad is adopted
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You might blow up your whole family. Are you ready for that?
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Valid question. Are they still together? If so you risk causes g a rift this late in life between them. I’d say speak to your mom first. But then still talk to your father. Or have yourother and father do one as well. To “out” them. On their own.
I went through it. My situation was way different. The guy i thought was my dad just told me one day. Fast forward 20+ years of wondering about the guy who is my biological dad… I hired a PI to locate him and then reached out. The guy blocked me every way he could and just ignored me completely. Didn’t respond to anything. Not saying your dad would but it is a possibility. I’d talk to your mom first and see what the situation really is before approaching your dad. She could have stepped out or your dad could have stepped up and knows… hear her out and if you still feel the need to speak to your dad than follow your gut.
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I would confront your mom first. It’s so scary how many family secrets can be hidden, but now uncovered through new advancements. You deserve to know the truth. So does your dad.
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Have a confidential talk with your mom. I would say nothing to dad until you have talked to your mom. I wouldn’t want him to know cuz it may break his heart.
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You could be adopted or an artificial insemination could have been done,sperm donated by another guy,talk to your mother about it
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Biology isn’t the only thing that makes a dad! If he raised you well and loves you, he is your real dad!
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DNA test reveal bio fathers not daddies
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Talk to your mom FIRST!! Don’t need to give your dad a heart attack. And I just recently read a story that he could still be your dad. If he was a twin in utero, and one twin was absorbed, making him only born, it could be his “siblings” DNA in you.
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I thought all genealogy tells you is where your ancestors might have been from based on similar markers. How is that the same as paternity?
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I just did mine as well, it really doesnt seem normal to me that my brother and I who have both biologically the same parents but we have totally different amounts of ethnic groups. My Mom and Dad have different backgrounds so they said it can be small parts of one or the other and will never be exact. I am believing it is just a bunch of malarkey. My Mom has 0% Scottish, My Brother 12% Scottish, I have 24% Scottish, My Dad has 4%. Then Indiginous, Irish, British Isles, European etc. Each of us have all different levels.
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ask your mom she will know
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Speak to your mom privately about it first. She has the answer you need.
You will be able to see common paternal links on ancestry. I was able to find my 17 paternal aunts and uncles through messaging a link directly. Just be aware that it’s a possibility the link may not end in a happy reunion.
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I found out the same information through ancestry.com . And yes it was correct as I match his 2 other girls. My parents are deceased but I wouldnt say anything to my dad even if he wasn’t. I still think of the man I thought was my dad as my dad and this guy is just my biological dad. Parents keep things from their kids. This wasn’t about me for whatever reason they decided not tell me. I’m pretty sure my dad was unaware he wasn’t biologically my father so its mostly on my mom there.
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I believe your dad has to be linked on ancestry for you to know. My mom came up on mine. My dad did not until he did the test too and then linked him as my dad. I found out who my dad’s real dad was also my dad was adopted. Has your dad done the ancestry test?
As an adopted kid, it’s not about the blood that runs in your veins… But who is there to guide you and has always been there through it all.
Also, if you really need to know I would talk to your mom first. There is a chance that your parent’s might have had fertility issues and had to use a donor in order to conceive and may have never wanted to tell you growing up because of fear that you might not want to bond with your father that raised you. Bringing it up with your dad right away will be very painful for him.
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Or maybe your dad knows and didn’t care n accepted it for what it was idk but either way not ur fault in life you didn’t ask for this to happen. To you and also don’t think your mom is the worse she could been going thru something’s in life and shit happened but she didn’t quit and didn’t give up on giving best life she could ya know we all have our skeletons in the closet so to speak and probably your mom never thought about dna happening along the lines of life and things coming out this is a very sensitive thing to be handling in life and I pray for you and your family that u find the awnsers ur looking for and need best of luck to you 
Your dad is the one who has lived you your while life and who raised you. Talk to your mom first and be open to what she has to say. We’re you in some way worried about what you’d find out? Why take the test if there wasn’t some question in your mind? Just curious.
I would def talk to her before you talk to your dad. I once found out a family member didn’t have the dad that he had his whole life. It literally ate at me thinking only I knew and when I finally broke out and mentioned it to one of their siblings they already knew and it was a relief
How old are you and how many years your parents married? So that’s easy enough to know if she stepped out. 1st person to talk to is your mother. Take it from there
It’s your choice if you want to disclose this information. I think it’s smart you disclosed that you feel that despite the DNA results, you are appreciative of your current father regardless.
Be aware that if you disclose it, it will have consequences and will effect things. Morally, I think it’s appropriate to disclose this information.
Oh My Goodness… yes, talk to your Mother First… she has all the answers ! 
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Talk to your mom privately
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