I just had my first baby in May. I’ve been living with my Mom for the past couple of years after I got out of a toxic relationship. Then after moving back home, my father passed away unexpectedly, so I stayed at home so as not to leave my Mom alone. Sometimes she and I are really close, and other times it can be very hard between us because she has horrible mood swings and seems to take it out on me. Now that I have my baby (his father left not long after I found out I was pregnant, so he’s never been involved), my Mom is pretty much all I have, especially as far as living arrangements go. I’m not working and wasn’t able to get any financial support, so I’ve had to live off my savings since the doctor took me out of work at eight months pregnant and now into six weeks postpartum. I’m at my wit’s end. Struggling with navigating being a new mom, which, while that’s so wonderful and rewarding at the same time it can be equally scary and stressful. You’d think living at home with my Mom would entail getting more help. No, not at all. She is so consumed with the things she has to get done I seriously get the bare minimum, and when things boil over and we get in a fight about it, she does not see my side at all. It’s like only her life is hard and nobody else. I feel like I need to get out of here, but as I said, I have no money coming in, and honestly, the only work I’m willing to take right now is something remote in order to stay with my newborn. That additionally compounds the problem cause I’d be stuck at home even more and really feel I need to get my son and me out of my Mom’s house. It is just really bad for my mental health. In the past, I’ve struggled severely with depression, and lately, it’s taking everything I have to not fall into postpartum depression, especially with how it is with my Mom. So with all that being said, does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do for my child and me? I feel like my only option (and not a very good one) would be to get on welfare and see if I qualify for a subsidized living. But I also don’t wanna have to end up living somewhere sketchy either. I am at a total loss and barely hanging on by a thread.
Hello mama!
Congratulations on your newborn! I wish I had advice to give you or help you in some way. All I have is compassion and understanding. I too lived with my mom when my son was born and it was terrible. I have a mom who is very stubborn and always right, so she says. 90% of the time we were arguing or giving each other the silent treatment. No matter the topic, she would never see things my way nor apologize even when she was clearly wrong. We had a toxic relationship. When it came down to my son, things got worse. I couldn’t discipline my child without her interfering. No matter what I did, it wasn’t good enough, wasn’t right, she could do faster (so she could take over and do it). I had post partum depression and raising my son as a single parent (father wasn’t really in the picture)… things seemed like rock bottom… until I got out of there… I had nothing. No job. No money. I got on welfare and the little they gave me helped me rent out a room for my son and i. Soon after I felt I could breathe again. Stress free. I was able to smile again. I was becoming myself again.
I understand you rely a lot on your mom right now, I get it. It’s not easy doing it alone. But if you could find any way out of there, even if it means getting government assistance, your sanity is worth it… for you and your son. Your guyses relationship may never change but at least you won’t have her around the corner to stress you out if you moved out.
Good luck!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I just had a baby and am struggling to get along with my mom: Advice?
If you are recovering from a toxic relationship, see if there is a domestic abuse shelter in the region. They have programs to help women get back on their feet and self sufficient.
Go to victim services u may qualify for housing
Good luck
How old is your mom? Is she menopausal? Does she have dementia? Those are things to find out.
Was your relationship with her always bad or has it just been since your dad died? Therapy may work for the both of you separately and together if your able to find someone. Lots of changes have happened to the both of you and well as women our changing hormones don’t help matter sometimes. I wish you well. Congratulations on the baby. Trust me your enough. Daddy is not needed:heart:
I would get welfare and maybe try get into housing. And as above said if something toxic then try a abuse place to help. Just stay stronge and it will all fall into place.
Try to get a job at a daycare, your baby can go with you.
Some daycares won’t charge you for childcare as long as your working there
The next stimulus is coming July 15 just wait it out you should have enough money to get a place your not pregnant anymore so you now can work
You’re fighting over… her not helping with the baby? You live in her home rent free. You had the child. What do you want her to do?
Your mom is not entitled to help you with anything. Yes it would be nice with the help but you don’t know what she is going thru or struggling with herself. You should be applying for food stamps, WIC, public housing. Anything that the county can help with you should be utilizing it. Honestly it would be best for you to do this on your own so in the end she nor no one else can throw it in your face that they did this or that. I hope things get better
Welfare is there for people who need it, at this time it sounds like that is the route you need to take until you can get on your feet. When you’re ready to work there are some programs through welfare in some counties that pay or help to pay for daycare. Being on welfare is not bad, I was on welfare for 2 years until I got in my feet and was so happy when I no longer needed it. Please do not be too proud to get help for you and your baby, life gets tough, you just gotta be tougher. You got this momma!
Your mum raised you and probably needs her space mine was the same I had my eldest and loved with my mum and we clashed heads better once you show them you can stand on your own two feet you got you
Get on assistance that’s ur only option or find daycare and work it’s no way around it
So you’re living there for free AND want her to take care of your baby?! I hate being THAT person, but it’s time to grow up. Your mom lost her life partner, it’s probably rough on her financially and now having to take care of two more mouths, I’d be having mood swings and be on your ass too. Apply for child care help, get a job, and get your own place.
She IS helping you by putting a roof over your head and your child’s. That’s huge. And you said it yourself, she has her own stuff to get done. It’s not HER responsibility. You aren’t working. Be super grateful she’s allowing you to have a place to live. It’s not going to be easy. You are supposed to be overwhelmed. But these were your choices not hers. I’m sorry it’s so frustrating but I’d hate to see you burn a bridge like this and regret it later. Work on your mental health ASAP.
I would help you if.we lived close by
You are much much younger than I am. I fell into a.similar trap years ago so know where this might be headed .
My best advice is to do,endure whatever today brings while working towards the future of freedom to be on your own.
You will get there .Right now it may not seem that way.
Believe me you can get there.
Maybe you could work at a daycare where you could be with your baby? Or maybe welfare would help you get on your feet. No shame in that.
In all honesty i would actually talk with your doctor if you havent already. I bet baby blues arent helping matters at all. Not blaming you one bit but id seek the doctors help. I hated to admit most things that got to me were my hormones causing it
Unpopular opinion here but your mother is allowing you to live in her home free of charge AND your father recently passed away which brings it down set of grief and you are only willing to work remote? I understand this is your first child but its YOUR child. How do you buy diapers and everything else your baby needs with no income? You can get daycare help to get out and get a job to get on your feet. Just about everywhere is hiring. It sounds like you are being a spoiled brat that wants your mother to help you with your child and if you can’t have a remote job you aren’t going to work at all. Get all the public assistance you can, suck it up and put your baby in daycare (and by all means research the ones in your area to make sure your choosing a good one) and get a job to support yourself and your child.
Think abt it like this; there’s 24hrs in a day; (i kw with a newborn that means nothin) but for abt 3 hrs 2-3 times a week; find somewhere for you & baby to go; for a breather!!! PARK, A WALK (baby in stroller) jus go to the STORE (4 nothin jus to walk & see people) MOMMY & ME( group) jus some suggestions b4 throwin up your hands… GOODLUCK💕
Girl get on assistance that is what that is there for, for times like this! They helped me out tremendously with daycare I even had to go in a shelter got my own apartment now and doing very well! I rather be on my own
Get a job, your mother doesn’t owe you anything more.
I have worked and used daycare. Daycare ate up most of what I made minus about $300. Check with the churches, sign up for welfare, check with the dept of health & welfare, abuse centers, etc or as someone just said, try getting a job at the daycare as well. Any extended family - aunts uncles, cousins, etc? Any job that baby can come with?
Your mom doesn’t have to help you with your baby. She is allowing you to live there and going through her own stuff. She didn’t make the baby. Honestly you sound childish. Get a job, any job. They have programs for daycare help. Find a place to live and move.
I understand that in a perfect world your mom would help and you would find the perfect job but unfortunately we dont live in a perfect world. Your mom isn’t entitled to help you, she doesn’t owe you a thing but love. I understand it’s scary putting a young baby in daycare but millions of single moms and even 2 parent homes do it daily. Working from home while caring for a young baby isn’t going to be as easy as it sounds, please keep that in mind. I understand welfare isn’t ideal but it’s not like you have to stay on it; get the assistance needed and work yourself off. Government assistance will help with food, formula, medical, housing, child care and even job placement.
File for child support, put applications at your local housing authority, call your local employment support services for info on jobs from home, apply for food stamps, TANF, medical benefits and WIC. Depending on your state you can apply for child care subsidies as well. Find a mental health clinic or services to get some counseling to help you manage your stress. Call and find diaper distribution sites. Use your resources and get all the help you can get to get on your feet so that you do not have to be in your mothers home. She too sounds like she needs mental health services but you can’t force her to go. Work on you.
Your mother is under no obligation to care for your baby. YOU decided to be a single mother, YOU have to deal with what that entails. She is helping you (even if bare bones) and giving you a place to live for free. She sounds like she might be struggling with her mental health also, and having your adult child and their child in your home can’t be easy. You both probably need some therapy and welfare and housing isn’t a bad start to get back on your feet.
Get the help you need. Start with public housing maybe you’ll be able to find something in a decent area. Then ask about day care assistance and many times they have info and can help you find a job. Don’t be afraid to ask for help even if counseling is needed. That’s what it’s here for. To help. Never feel ashamed or less of a person we all need help in some way at some point. First step walk into the building and get all the help you can. They are great for reference as well. It doesn’t have to be a forever thing. Something to get you started. You got this momma!!
Wic and public assistance, you can get your own place, get stamps that will buy formula and food for yourself and when you find a job public assistance will provide daycare and depending on the pay it could be free…the most I had to pay was $26 a week, they also provide rides to appts and interviews…go to food pantries and salvation army they will help with furniture, clothing and food…many many programs to sign up with your newborn that will provide cribs, playpens, gas cards, Visa cards for simply taking your baby to the doctor…there is help out there and never be ashamed to ask for it…
You need to look into any type of housing and single mothers help they have available in your region. They have something out there that’ll help you get out your moms home but you have to look for it. As far as the relationship with your mother, you do know that you and your baby is living with her and she owes you nothing when it comes helping you out with your baby?! Be grateful that she’s supplying a roof over the both of you heads. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this and going through it alone being a first time mom. I do not like how dads have options to be in their children’s life and it saddens me how so many of them lack the love we (as mothers) have for our children soon as we hear a heartbeat, we feel that tiny kick, or we hold them for the first time in our arms. But you can do this. Also I feel bad for your mom bcuz she is trying to adjust to living without your father. You both are going through a lot. Pray and keep pushing. Things will get better
You sound selfish… she just lost her husband & you are literally living with her rent free… talk about ungrateful & entitled… she is helping you by letting you live there & you demand her to help you more 
Go to school for medical billing and coding. I’m currently taking the course. It’s hard and intense. But a decent paying career and can work from home
The baby is not your moms responsibility, it’s yours and the man that impregnated you. Now all the energy you are spending on trying to make your mom play a part of your babies life needs to be redirected to the father of your child and or seeking child support so your not doing it all alone.
You sound LAZY.
Get up.
Get out.
And get going.
Sometimes to survive you have to make compromises there’s a lot of retail places out there right now that are hiring a lot of restaurants hiring that need help. You could do something part-time nice you some maybe 20 30 hours a week so you could be at home with your baby but still work. I think people feel really good when they are out and they’re doing something productive it makes him feel good. Getting a job to might help your mom and you could share expenses.
Sit down and have an open real conversation.
She may need help grieving just like you need guidance being a mom
Sounds like a lot of factors in one situations.
Closed mouth don’t get fed just like feelings and needs. Speak up she may need you as much as you need her
Get help maybe from your state and get into school!
Give your self to God and alot of conversation pray put God first he wants to take over.He.tells us to.He will take care of you, when you vant
I will pray for you. Let go and let God
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I just had a baby and am struggling to get along with my mom: Advice?
Your mom just lost her husband… And that’s hard. Maybe u two can find a nuteral ground with each other. Once the baby gets here your mom will call down. It’s a hard road right now for her too hun.
Get on assistants apply for government housing and then start looking for a job and get your self back on track
I think you and your mom need to talk. Please don’t think she’s just being mean. If your father died unexpectedly like you said, she’s still going through it like you’re going through post partum depression. And I know post partum depression is nothing to play with…I’ve had it myself. But maybe if you both can get some counseling and talk to each other things will get better
Not be rude maybe your causing some stress I mean you moved back in obviously ain’t doing much financially she basically mummy 24-7 again now your responsibility ensure baby has what you and babe will need.
Get out and go on welfare show your mum you can manage prove her wrong I feel for you your mum just taking you for granted mean Lady see how she copes on her own you will get help you’ll be amazed how people rally around to help you out good luck sweetie
If you’re not making any money I suppose moms helping financially? Maybe she feels stress too and that is enough she can handle right now. I’d talk to her. I don’t have any grandkids but if I did I’d be happy to help- BUT help not do their job, I raised mines and now I’m old n tired 
Get assistance you and baby qualify for wic also even thought u had a toxic relationship you should apply for child support that is income owed to your baby from the dad. Its a hard situation for the both of you but seems like you both can be each others rock. Try talking with her and try from there but for you and baby apply for the help.
Not all subdivided housing is shady or bad, just have to find a nice place. And it doesn’t need to be forever just until you get reestablished. Hopefully your mom can get some grief counselling as well…
There is nothing wrong with using government assistance for what it is intended for. Use it to help you get on you feet. Usually you can get some sort of child care as well so that you can work (for when your baby is a little older) obviously he needs his momma 24/7 right now.
Just try taking one day at a time. You’ve been through a lot lately. Breathe, and look forward to getting back on your feet! You got this!
See if your county has a community action agency, they can point you in a direction for assistance.
So if I’m understanding your post, you are pissed at your mom because she’s moody and don’t help you enough? Am I right? Well heres my advice, you are that babies mother, your baby is YOUR responsibility. And seriously, I understand its hard to leave your baby with someone, but get a job. There is no reason for you to live off of welfare just because you don’t want to work. Your mom is allowing you to live with her, im guessing rent free. Do you help around the house? You sound ungrateful. Either deal with your moms moodswings or get a job and move.
Since the situation does not allow you some financial freedom to leave , it is not wise to leave home now. You have to be open with your mom and tell her how you feel. After all, she is your mom. You have to communicate more.
I noticed after my dad passed away last year, my mom became childish ,selfish and unreasonable at times. I noticed she wanted to make unnecessary arguments. But behind that, I could feel she wanted to be heard and to feel she is still an important part of the family. So sometimes I treat her as mom, and sometimes just a friend. And most of the times I am at wits end too because she doesn’t seem to understand, that I am struggling too.
I know you have a lot in your plate but you have to be more patient to your mom ,to yourself and the situation.
I know its scary to you going out into the madness of the world, but truthfully it will be the making of you being a great mum to your new born, also a great daughter because you’re showing your mum how strong you are and that all of her teachings towards you, you are ready to act on now. I was 16 with my baby and my 1st home, it was in a bad part of Nottingham but I kept myself to myself, being a good mum and pushing towards getting work around my child. Take a chance hun and go be a mum in your own home even on welfare it doesn’t matter, you’ll change day by day in a good way you’ll be amazed, scary at first but amazing later on
The thing is your mom did her job which was to raise you. It is not her job to help you raise your child. Now granite mothers help with kids but for you to say she is consumed with things… well she has her right to live now. Again, she raised you and you decided to have a baby. Seems to me she is getting the bare minimum from you. Motherhood is not an easy thing. As for you feeling that she gives out the vibe (only her life is hard) well I see it more challenging for your mom because she is providing for herself, you and your child. She is paying the bills and everything else that comes with running a house.
You have very minimal options here my dear. #1 there’s nothing wrong with needing welfare to get on your feet. You qualify for cash and food stamps don’t be picky right now it’s help and it’s deserved to your child You didn’t make a baby alone. #2 stop being prideful and take that help. #3 some places have nice housing and it’s temporary. And lastly it’s ok to have postpartum most woman do. But please stop sitting there feeling helpless when you have options. Your being your own enemy right now shit happens. You’ll be ok.
Apply for assistance , once your ready to leave baby , you can. Start looking for work and a daycare , you can try apply for Subsity once you get approved for daycare which helps reduce daycare fees ,
Before cutting your mum out, go to counseling . Your mother loves you, she may be struggling with her own grief or other things, but if you can work on your relationship with your mother through counselling you will be rewarded so much. One day your mother will be gone as well and you will look back on this and wished you did counselling instead of walking out and struggling on your own
Sometimes you have to take what you can get until you can get something better. Apply for assistance and see what you can get, it won’t hurt it will only help. I know it may be too early and may not be wanted but start looking into daycares for the baby that way you can start building your life back and up and you don’t have to worry about your baby.
Get WIC, and apply for assistance with your county assistance office. They will help you with daycare costs, food, and finding a job and probably even housing. It’s not a lifestyle, but to get you back on your feet.
You only have one Mom make it work so neither one of you are by yourself’s… Good luck
Sweetie I don’t mean to be rude but you are sounding ungrateful.
If you feel stuck, go for a healthy walk with baby. It will help your mood. Focus on you and baby. Remote work isn’t a good idea if you’re caring for a baby in the background.
First of all, you don’t “fall” into postpartum depression. That’s caused by a dramatic drop of progesterone and estrogen after giving birth. Be grateful for having a roof over your head and especially your baby’s head. Your mom raised her kids While I’m sure it would be nice to have a break on occasion it’s not your mom’s responsibility to accommodate you. Even if you did move out, it wouldn’t change your circumstances. Being a new single mom entails lots of sleepless nights, 3am feedings, lack of sleep, and definitely a lack of “you” time not to mention lack of opportunity for personal hygiene 
. Welcome to parenthood. It’s not about you anymore. No social life and friends you once had have scattered. Try being grateful for what you do have…a healthy happy baby. Some have no support in any form. Put your big girl panties on and do what needs to be done for yourself and your baby and be grateful you even have your mom Start there and maybe things will turn around. Don’t take your mom for granted and expect her to do for you just because she’s your mom. A little appreciation goes a long way. 
Sthu… go get a job and your own place to live… go after the child’s father for support and work it out like the rest of us have all done… your mom is no longer your caretaker and you have no right to complain about her especially up in her house! What do you want? A pity party? You think that welfare is the answer??? Trade childcare with another mom… join a support group… apply for wic… then, perhaps your mom might want to help you out bcuz she sees you making something of your life and actually wants to spend time with her grandchild…
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You have created your OWN problem. Your an ADULT. Start acting like one. First off, it is your Mom’s house, deal with the issues or leave. The baby ONLY compound your issues. Finically, you need to get child support from the baby’s Daddy, PERIOD! You created on mess after another. Time to grow-up and take responsibility!
First…get to the dr to deal with your depression and postpartum depression. Get yourself on a course of meds, get yourself on assistance and get you and your baby medicaid and food stamps. You should also look into Section 8 housing, some of those places aren’t bad.
Maybe your mom is dealing with her own depression over her husband passing. She is trying to navigate a new lifestyle. She also needs to see a dr for her depression and mood swings. Maybe she is going thru menopause.
First I want to say there’s no shame in getting on assistance, there’s times it’s needed.
That’s great that you stayed to help and or be there as a for your mom, but if it’s not working then I’d do what you have to for you and your baby, get your own place… I also understand having a newborn, I have 2 myself, thankfully I never needed childcare for either until they where toddlers 2 & 3 and that was not due to being financially well off. I’m actually considered just the opposite, working poor.
I have section 8, and I live in a 3/2 house good area of Orlando FL so not all are bad.
I also receive foodstamps and Medicaid for my kids, it is what it is. I still manage to go on vacation twice a year and gives my kids everything they need and want for birthdays & Christmas, we have season passes to parks and go have fun every weekend.
I’ve been a single mom forever, no child support due to their dead beat dad who can’t stay off drugs and out out jails/prisons long enough to hold down a job.
I Used to get ssi for my son (he has a serious medical condition) but that stopped 6 years ago.
Look into work from home jobs, I’ve been doing tech support from home for almost 2 years I love it, its flexible and my supervisor is very understanding, he knows my kids come first ad far as if they’re sick, docs appts and taking them to and from school ect.
Get Government assistance for housing and food and medical help. Sue the father for child support . If you want to Move out of your moms. When your visiting her, if you all start
Bickering just tell your baby to kiss grandma goodbye and
Go home and put some space between y’all for a Couple days
Your mother is likely still also processing grief of a spouse. Being a grandparent isnt the same as being a partner. I recommend screening for postpartum and looking into support groups close to you. Have been on assistance and you wont be forever. And unless you are rich lots if places are not the best right now. Lots going on in the world. Its what you make of it with what you can. Start setting aside money and start off with a one bedroom or studio. The baby can be in same room as you until she is older. Don’t forget selfcare momma 
Ok so I’m a single mom as well and I do everything for my son on my own have since the day he was born. He’s a year old and I have done everything up to this point without help. Yes it’s hard but you chose to have a baby so you have to suck it up and be a mom! Firstly get a daily routine going for you and baby that helps tremendously for me. Second of all she already raised you and owes you nothing! She doesn’t have to help or give you a break! If she chooses to that her choice and nice of her but otherwise she’s definitely not required to be taking care of your child. Yes it’s hard in the first year and your going to be physically and mentally exhausted 
but you have to soldier through and keep going otherwise you will fall apart! Yes there are days I’m exhausted and drained but I don’t get to not be a mom I still have to wake up and take care of my son and be there for him. Start by giving her a little bit more appreciation and gratitude for paying all the bills and providing you and baby with a roof over your heads and I guarantee she will probably feel more appreciated and that in turn may have her want to help you with baby here and there. But regardless you need to be taking care of baby 24/7 not her and honestly you should be helping her out around the house with cleaning etc. I live with a family member as well and I do all the household chores lawn mowing and grocery buying and shopping. So personally I don’t feel that sorry for you 
because I am in a similar boat except I take care of my son and do all the other stuff on top of it as well as show great appreciation for the person I live with! Grow up
Your mother is grieving. You are also dealing with a tough transition. Try to love and accept each other as much as possible, right where you are. You need each other.
Maybe it’s because I’m older & have kids and grandkids … but I think you’re seeing things a bit one sided. Mom has lost her husband & is struggling to adjust to life without him … on top of trying to support not only herself, but now a grown child who’s not working & a new grandchild. That is overwhelming!
Being a single new mom is overwhelming for you, as well, I understand.
You are both in overwhelming situations.
Neither of you made a choice to be in this situation, but it sounds like mom is pulling most of the load, here. You guys need to talk, and you need to step up and try to do more to support yourself and your child.
Grandparents aren’t suppose to raise their grandkids. They are suppose to love and spoil their grandkids because they don’t have the responsibilities of raising their grandkids.
Contact the appropriate dept. Of human services office in your area. Apply for housing, daycare, and work programs. Get food stamps and any other assistance that you can qualify for. Maybe even go to college, if you can.
I understand you just had a baby, and it is overwhelming and scary … but that baby is now depending on you to step up your game and provide a life for him/her. That baby is your motivation for wanting to build a better life for yourself. You don’t have time to sit around and be depressed. I would say from now until the time you find a job, you should be helping your mom around the house, and be thankful you have a parent that’s willing to help you at all … by providing a roof over your head and utilities and food, etc. Don’t expect her to work all day and come home to take care of your responsibilities. A baby is not a part time, short term obligation … you are a parent 24/7, just like your mom has been for you.
Be thankful you have each other.
Talk to her. She is grieving. She may need you to stay. Try to understand what she is going through. Maybe she would be better if you moved…i think you should just have a good heart to heart talk with her. It may answer your questions better than we can. Once she is gone, you will wish you had. Time is precious.
You got out of a toxic relationship. Your mom took you at her house.
You got a baby in May. So staying at your mom’s place meaning with no house you made a baby with an irresponsible man. And you find your widow mom is the problem???
Grow up you big ungrateful woman!!
Is good that you are looking for solutions. I think your idea for help with subsidized housing, help with food and other daily living is a good idea. Can understand you not wanting to live in a sketchy area but many of us have had to do that as it was all we could afford. Doesn’t have to be forever. There you can work an online job too. Being a mom is not easy as you are finding out. When tempers flare at home with your mom, just say I have to take a time out and go in another room for awhile. Unfortunately for you, it’s her house and her rules so you are going to have to make adjustments while you are there. When you see things might get heated, just stol the arguing. Make sure you always clean up after yourself and make efforts to keep the house clean by vacuuming, dishes, clean floors, bathroom, etc…
Think of ways you can make life easier for her and you may find it will make your life easier too. At this point, it is wise to realize your mom is not going to change and it is your job to make adjustments to make your life easer.
Also, contact your local community agencys to see if you can get counseling. Will really help you to navigate your life and the changes you’ll need to adjust to going forward. Hope this helps.
Sorry ur going through this. I didn’t get help either when I moved back home, and frankly, it sucked, but I understood. My mother raised her children, and she was not a built-in babysitter. There was alot of tension in the household too. Lots she was also going through. And me as well. But, I had to put my big girl panties on, and enroll my baby into a daycare center while I went back to school. In hindsight, I probably should’ve went to a technical college or a tech school. Faster and cheaper. Anyway, since u don’t want to live anywhere sketchy, it doesn’t sound like u have many choices. If it were me, I’d stay, enroll my baby in a daycare center, and get my butt back to school, enrolling in a field that u can make a GOOD wage in. Trust me, u don’t want to go to school and rack up all this debt and come out with a career making peanuts. Do ur research in various fields out there! That will be KEY to u getting out of ur situation. As far as having to stay, be as pleasant and helpful as u can be at home. Realize ur mother loves u, otherwise she wouldn’t have let u move back home AND stay. Know she is most likely going through alot herself and is human too. Perhaps seek the help of a counselor once a week. That was also helpful to have someone to vent to and sometimes offer advice. U may not like the suggestions I’ve made, but it can be done. Put ur nose to the grindstone, work ur butt off, and it will all be worth it in the end. U could have a great-paying career and place of ur own within 2-3 years. Do the research, make the hard decisions, do ur best, seek help, and make some plans. U can do this. And u will be stronger for it and better off for it. I wish u luck.
You would totally qualify for welfare and subsidized housing. You are their target market. Welfare pays very little but includes some food stamps. You could get that at your mothers house. In most places there is a waiting list for subsidized housing. There are 2 kinds. One is project based where the rent subsidy is attached to the apartment. That kind usually has a shorter waiting list. With the other kind of section 8 the subsidy is attached to the renter and can be used with any agreeable landlord whose property can be approved. That list is sometimes long. Section 8 housing is not always in a sketchy area.
I don’t know your mom’s circumstances but if she is low income, she might qualify for Medicaid or food stamps too. If she is on Medicaid and has any age related disabilities she might qualify for a little in-home-care, someone to come and do tasks that she is unable to do.
I think living in your own place would be good. I hope you are able to accomplish that soon.
If your mum is not getting Social Security survivor’s benefits from her deceased husbands Social Security, she might qualify. Worth looking into.
Really…make baby daddy responsible number 1…number 2…make yourself responsible, time to grow up…you have yourself and a wee one to take care of now, its not your mother’s responsibility, its yours and ANYTHING she offers up, you need to be extremely grateful for…time to show up in life…you need to do what the hell ever it takes to live and take care of your business…time to adult!
When you are the free loader you have to sit back and give way. As I understand you are dependent to your mom so she have all the means to be upset in your situation after all. Can’t you see you are depressing her as well with your situation?
It’s only a stepping stone. Sometimes you gotta be uncomfortable to strive for better. There’s lots of resources for single mom’s. Just remember it’s only temporary! Do what’s best for you but most importantly your son. He doesn’t deserve to be raised around the negativity especially from a grandparent.
Firstly I did the same fell pregnant at 18, and no home which was totally my fault and I went back to college to get more education when he was ten months , my mum is amazinf but our parenting styles are very different and because she was the nice one that never told him odd my son grew so close to her and not me which made me really sad and she would undermine my disapline at times saying I’m harsh so we didn’t get on either but I love her so much and didn’t want this sillyness and wanted to appriciate her , so it’s took six years sadly but I finally moved out with a new partner
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I just had a baby and am struggling to get along with my mom: Advice?
Sorry if I’m misreading… but you sound like you’re expecting your mom to do more.
She’s footing all the household bills right?
That’s enough in itself.
You sound ungrateful.
Good luck.
Why haven’t you filed for child support? Once Dr releases you, return to work. What would you do if you lived alone? What are you expecting your Mom to do. Your old enough to care for yourself and your child both.
What is it you expect your mom to do? It sounds like shes taking care of you and the baby at least financially. I would suggest finding a caregiver for the baby or a work at home job, make some $$ and move out ASAP. I’m not sure what other choice you have here.
Your mom is struggling to breathe right now with the loss of her life partner! She has nothing left to give emotionally. She is empty i would assume .
Go on welfare, file for child support from the father. get a home of your own and have a better relationship with your mum because your not under eachother noses. I do feel for your mum massively. It was your choice to have the child, not hers. You will have to find a way to support you and your child.
Growing up leaves us with many choices to make. Maybe try to get on some kind of help medical for your depression while you’re staying at your mother’s . Mom’s probably don’t expect in their later years to have a new family again and are set in their own ways in their own home. If you choose not to work…choose not to get get subsidies because it wouldn’t be a good neighborhood you’re back at square one. Many parents wouldn’t take their grown children with their new family. You’re lucky
It’s your child. Not your mom’s. It’s not her responsibility to take care of your child or even to help. Get a job and get your child out of that environment.
The only way you will get housing is if you have absolutely nowhere to go and go into a shelter. It is not ideal but they can help you with child care, finding work, housing, etc. If you choose that route do it while your baby is small, it will be much easier to handle. Just remember every person in that shelter is there to better themselves. You arent different from them and they arent different from you. You might even make a friend or 2 along the way.
You have to do what you have to do so if that means getting a job and putting your child in daycare then so be it. Being able to be a SAHM is a privilege that works for a family who has the support. You don’t have that support and you can’t expect your mother to raise your child or help you more. Also, working remotely is still an actual job that requires full attention. Just because you’re ‘home’ doesn’t mean you’re being paid to take care of your child. Being a single parent isn’t easy but we do what we have to for our children. Good luck.
Get help if you can take it. Your mom already raised a child she honestly may not care to help raise another. And take the man you have a child with to court. He doesn’t care about your feelings so get what you rightfully deserve help from a man that went half on a baby with you. You can’t just let him dip off without taking responsibility and expect your mother to take that responsibility willingly.
Sounds like your mom is going through menopause that’s a stressful challenge all its own …and certainly is hard on those around her
She lets you live there she’s not automatically supposed to help you with the baby and her husband died. No offense but you sound entitled and like you make a lot of excuses. She lets you an adult with a child live under her roof. If she has things to get done in her life then she has things to get done in her life and she’s mourning the loss of her husband, your dad. So maybe you could see from her side a bit too? I have depression too but I don’t enforce my responsibilities on my mom. Go for child support from the dead beat baby daddy and save to move out. Your mom is not a problem here. I’m sorry if its bitchy but its blunt.
You are living under HER ROOF !!
Your Mom is already helping you out by giving you a place to stay . since you’re not working and living off savings or depending on your mother paying the house hold bills why are you expecting your mother to help you with the baby? I mean sure I understand you want a break and could use a hand, but the fact that you’re demanding that and causing issues and disagreements is silly to me .if you’re grateful to her for allowing you and the baby to stay at her house until you’re able to work and get on your feet and have a better plan .I’d do my best to get along with her since it is her house and as a grown woman with a child of your own your Mom doesn’t owe you anything.
I’m in the same boat with my mom but my husband is in thr picture… we have 6 kids and live in the same house as her. She is very opinionated and disrespectful especially with our recent decision to homeschool again next year. Everytime i leave the house with my husband even just to get groceries, she harasses me about birth control or sterilization… We’ve tried buying this house from her but she wouldn’t move, kept beating around the bush, wouldn’t answer straight… now I had enough, I cracked, and right now we are not on good terms… we are trying hard to find a place to move to for another year until our home is built… all I can say is get yourself and your child out of that toxic environment cause when you think it ain’t affecting ur kids… think again… I want my kids growing up knowing its ok to be yourself, to feel what you feel and to use your voice. When it feel’s scary to jump, thats when you should!