You sound incredibly ungrateful. You’re an adult, she doesn’t need to help you with a single thing. You don’t like how she runs her home then leave
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Sometimes you got to do what you need to do to survive, there is no shame in getting help until you can get on your feet. But get a Section 8 apartment or House.and get your baby on wic. look for day care that is based on your income. Maybe you could ask CPS if they can help you with day care and housing.
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KellyConnect, transcom, telepreformance, Conduent, Asurion, Sykes, and Concentrix are all hiring and they are all work from home. The first 2 pay 15 a hour or so and some of the others do as well. There are programs out there that help pay for daycare. Apply for those and get a job. Save up about 4 or five paychecks and move out.
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The only job you are willing to take is something remote!? 
Girllllll You are a mothernow, you don’t get to choose when, where you work! You do what you have to do to be responsible for your baby & yourself! It’s not your moms job to allow you to live off her ecsp with a baby too!!! Put your big girl panties on, get a job, get a place, take care of your baby & let your mother be a grandmother!! The END
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I’m so sorry for all these harsh, un helpful responses. These statements don’t help you one bit, if there is advice to be given it is wrapped up in anger. Here are some thoughts that may help you. Is there a way that you can make part of the house a place for you and little one? maybe the basement, attic, a bedroom or otherwise? all of your belongings might be spilling out into the house and causing undue friction. Keeping all your and baby’s items in one place may help your mother’s mental health. Do you have any family or friends that could help by keeping baby one or two days a week while you head back to work, even if only part time? Or if there are several people that could offer help, maybe one day with person A and one day with person B? Are you and baby getting out of the house? walks, play dates, going to a park? anything to get out and give you some space as well as your mother. She has lost a partner, has gained a grandchild and is having someone under her roof, give her some space to work through her own life. If you qualify for assistance, get it. There is no shame in short term help, it’s there for a reason. Please see your doctor about markers for PPD, you may in fact be struggling because you need medical help. Again, no shame in this. It happens to many, many people. I would also recommend sitting down with your mom and talking through the issues, if you have no other way, you will have to make this work. Hear her out and take note of what she has to say, pick a time when you are both in a good mental place to do so. Having a baby is tough, doing it by yourself is tough, living with someone who is as stressed out as you are is tough. Try your best to talk it through and make a plan to get on your feet. As scary as being away from your newborn is, you will have to go back to work eventually. Set yourself up for success when that time comes. Best of luck and Congratulations on your new little one.
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Wow as a mom with 2 grown daughters this is just wrong!!! My daughter and I are best friends but we both agreed she needed to move after being in my house for over a yr and a half. It’s not our jobs as parents to raise your kids and I am sure both mom’s have a right to be upset. Your mom just lost her husband. Grow up and move out. Your relationship will get better. But as for Marie wow 6 kids and a husband. Really ? Not you need to leave your mom’s house and if everything is all about her now sooo what she deserves it!! And as far as going to store and such take your kids with you. She is their grandma not a babysitter jeez
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This may be a hard take, but it seems like you have expectations from your mom that may not be her responsibility.
Your mom did her duty in raising you, she’s also supporting you and your babies needs financially.
She does not owe you to give you a break nor help with the infant. While that of course would be nice, it is not her duty, responsibility nor obligation.
Raising your children on your own is hard, I have a lot of sympathy for you. But I also hope you give your mom the respect she deserves, and appreciate the sacrifice she’s making by having you in her home.
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There is childcare assistance you can apply for, that way you can get a job and save money for your own place😊
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A lot of day cares let you bring ur child when you work there.
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Get on your own feet. I totally understand where you’re coming from. You’re going to have to swallow your pride and get help (ie food stamps/WIC, welfare, HUD). I don’t know where you live, but if you have to live in a sketchy area for a while or a trailer (not bashing) to get on your feet so to speak… do it. It took me 3 years to get back it together. Hang in there mama… remember someone always has it worse than you, take care of YOU and you baby is (I hope) the best thing that ever happened to you. For me I got the right kids to the wrong guy. And I’m sorry for the loss of your mother’s partner. You both need to be there for each other to
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I’m sorry to hear this… honestly, I don’t want to sound rude but if she is letting you stay at her house it’s enough help, you are an adult, you made your choices, we are human and we all make mistakes, you choose to stay in a toxic relationship , you chose to have a baby with that man… it is all because of your decisions… you are expecting your mom to help more when she is giving you and yout baby (which is your responsibility) a roof… also try to get in her shoes, she lost her life partner, you are only thinking about you and your needs… get a job and put your baby in child care, or maybe let a friend help take care of it… also you expect your mother to help but you are not expecting the baby daddy to help ? You don’t even mention him, file for child support! Get on WIC meanwhile and remember the baby you chose to have is not your mom’s responsibility, she already took care of her own child.Be thankful.
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Yeah you need to work in getting yourself together and getting into your own place. Mom has her life to live and you expect more then she is willing or obligated to give.
Yeah you need to work on getting yourself together and getting into your own place. Mom has her life to live and you expect more then she is willing or obligated to give.
Apply for WIC at health department for baby. You know you mom probably needs you as much. Don’t be lazy take the initiative to cook and clean be very good to her but having a baby does not make you and invilid
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put the baby in daycare once u reach rhe 6weeks. get a job. apply for welfare and get out. its not ur moms job to take care of u n ur child just cause u live with her. u sound entitled
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Sounds like you expected your mother (who is grieving and going through an emotional hell after losing her husband) to be a live in nanny. You won’t work because it doesn’t suit you🙄 umm really WTF !you have a baby who needs diapers and necessities to live. Your mother’s helping you the best she can. She is offering a safe place for you and her grandchild and you are on the social media bad mouthing her😡 mmmmm nope… my advice is maybe be sympathetic to your mom ! Cook her a meal , tell her you love her and you care. Stop posting things about her! She is just trying to muddle through daily.
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Sorry to say but welcome to mother hood. You get to do and take what you have to to support another human that you brought into this world. Get child support or any help you can.
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I get where you’re coming from. I was put on bed rest at 4 months and I also lived with my mom who had terrible mood swings. That being said, yes it’ll be nice and appreciated if she helped but she’s not obligated to be honest. You’re an adult with a child. And if you don’t have money coming in, I can only assume you’re not helping with rent. Letting you live there is help. 1. Every state has some sort of childcare assistance. 2. Apply for housing.
3. Once all that is set, look for at least a part time job.
Like you said, try to get on welfare for the time being.
You may even want to look into shelters. It’s not ideal but if where you are isn’t working out…… you gotta do what you gotta do. You may not like where they put you but if you don’t want to live with your mom, you can’t move on your own, that’s the other choice.
Good luck with everything
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She’s grieving and you are likely experiencing post partum depression from the difficulties you are experiencing. This would be difficult for anyone. I don’t have the solution for you but those might be some things to keep in mind when you make your decision.
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You gotta do what you gotta do for you an ur son an welfare is temporary 
I had to do it 13 yrs ago an got housing assistance an took it from there good luck
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You sound like an entitled ungrateful brat! You made that baby not your mom,grow up !
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I learned that at 17 clearly according to my parents, I was a grown adult so I’ve had to figure everything out on my own. It’s a really difficult situation and I pray that you find the peace that you need. Dealing with parents is super hard especially when they’re not understanding your needs and only their own.
my sister has a son with adhd he never had meds and hes doing ok now hes always always played ball hockey baseball and ice hockey and bike rides keeps him busy and hes now 28 and hes doing ok
the only reason why the teachers want you too medicate soo its easier for them
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Ok, I see this from both sides because I have my eldest here with her 2 kids too and they have been here for 8 months to “get back on track” and it is really frustrating. 1. you said you and your mom both recently lost your dad. My FIL passed away May 22nd and he was staying with us and I was his “engineer” for all the docs and helping him navigate covering his bills being paid every month as he got worse health wise, so I can understand your moms feeling overwhelmed with everything. 2. you just had a baby so your emotions are all over the map. (I cannot believe someone had the nerve to call you a brat above, I am sorry for their unempathetic words.) I am so sorry for your loss. My recommendation is do something nice for Mom to make her day a little easier, (clean the house or make supper) remind her that all she is doing to help you is appreciated (being a mom can be a thankless job, as a new one you will learn that soon enough) on one of your good days while the baby is napping have a heart to heart with her and let her know that you know and understand that losing Dad was hard on her and that it is hard on you too and that you two are in this together and you really do appreciate everything she is doing and promise (and follow through) that you will try to help more in making the days easier and that you are willing to help her with stuff if you can since you arent working even if its running errands or just extra stuff around the house. You are an adult and there is no reason why you can’t pull your weight more than you have been (a new mom feeling is overwhelming too- so post partum could be a factor too) check with your doctor about how you are feeling too and maybe suggest to mom about going together to grief counseling because it sounds like it might help both of you. Most areas offer support groups like this for free. Check you local churches for something like this too.
As far as resources you are on a temp doc release from work and that should qualify you for TANF assistance (cash) and probably SNAP (food card) and maybe even help finding work once you can go back. There are a lot of resources out there. I wish you luck sweetie and I recommend reaching out and just hugging your mom she probably really needs one and I bet it would be good for both of you.
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Your responsibility not your moms.
So you’re mad your mom isn’t taking care of your baby? Motherhood isn’t easy but it’s not her responsibility to take care of your baby. She’s grieving the loss of her husband and providing you and your baby a place to live, food, etc. If you want out of her house get a job and find a place and stop expecting everything to be handed to you. You also need to file for child support if you haven’t already done so.
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You are an adult. Your mom does not owe you anything. You moved in on her–into her home–and then had a baby you are unable to support, with a no good deadbeat who is out of the picture. Has it occurred to you that at this stage of your mother’s life she may be ready for a little solitude? She raised you and buried her spouse;she did her part. Hunt up that SOB and get him to court so he can start paying for his child. Get yourself to the Dr for some bloodwork to check your hormones. Apply for assistance so you can get a place of your own. You and mom will probably get along better once you aren’t in each other’s business 24/7.
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Apply for housing. Go back to school, get a job do something! (I found it helped my depression to an extent) see a doctor.
I am a single mom of 4 kids. I have them 24/7 except the little. (We spilt). The other dad don’t see the kids at all. I’ve raised them since they were babies by myself. I just put myself through college. I am now a teacher who holds a bachelors in elementary education. I did this basically on my own. You can do it momma! Find programs to help. I am thankful for the programs that helped me. Food, WIC, and subsidized housing. Now starting in the next month I move up in the world. It was there when I needed it and now I’m moving on. It’s hard but omg worth it. I promise you can do it.
Start by looking for housing that can help with rent. Look for things like HUD. etc. Then take the next step things like Foodstamps. A job. Just do a little at a time. One step then another. If I can do it with 4. You can definitely do it with 1. Much motherly love from one momma to another!
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My dad always said two women can’t live in the same house together. Applying for government assistance is not bad just as long as your using it to get on your feet and not planning to stay on it forever. Besides you paid into those benefits the years you worked for other people to receive them. As far as the help goes take what little she gives you and be grateful she has her own life also. I have two under 3 years old and besides my hubby, oldest I get no help from anyone. My mom and mother n law are deceased.You have women out here who don’t even get the luxury of staying with their mom after having kids.
So what exactly is the problem …your mom not helping you enough with your baby and you get into fights with her over her lack of helping you ??
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You shouldnt get on welfare with an attitude like “I refuse to work anything unless its remote”. Welfare is for people seriously TRYING. Who are working anything and everything they can and still cant make ends meet. Your mom did not ask for your baby. It was your choice. She is not your baby’s dad, or mom. Shes doing a lot and you sound ungrateful and a little spoiled.
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Not to be rude but it’s your responsibility, not your Mothers. You should have thought about all this stuff before you decided to go thru with the pregnancy.
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You both should seek professional help, together and separate. A lot of new changes and everybody deals with grief and birth differently. Speak with your doctor.
Lord help us all I have read your stories and I can totally relate to unintentionally most of it but I offer you a prayer for this situation and I hope it finds you well
Your mom sounds like she’s been through a terrible time and so have you allow yourselves time
Nothing is perfect nowhere there will always be the imperfections of daily life so reach down deep and remind yourself that you’ve got this you have what I assume is a beautiful baby so be proud and be happy for this and also give your mother a hand
Doing things when not expected is the very best a clean house is a good start a meal made also a good start and remember it doesn’t have to be perfect you just have to try
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Not sure if this is for every state but #211 is for my state and they give you numbers and resources. Good luck, oh and maybe an antidepressant?
Get u some help untill u can get a job n put Baby in child care. But u got to suck it up and be a woman that baby depends on u
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What’s wrong with you some of you all people, someone has given birth and needs emotional support and you’re here judging her, just coz you can do all shit by yourself doesn’t mean it’s wrong to ask for help.
I went to exactly same situation , and it gets better. You have to understand your mom and try to have a better communication with her. My mom helped me a lot with my son and still does, but i Pay her for it, bc it’s her time and I would rather to have her taking care of my child while I work than someone else . I still living with her and it’s a huge help for me Cause is allowing me to save money to move out soon . Look for the pros, and not the bad stuff. Try to fix your relationship with her and understand her so she will understand you.
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Get a dog, you can go any place and be safe.
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Ok so I’m a single mom as well and I do everything for my son on my own have since the day he was born. He’s a year old and I have done everything up to this point without help. Yes it’s hard but you chose to have a baby so you have to suck it up and be a mom! Firstly get a daily routine going for you and baby that helps tremendously for me. Second of all she already raised you and owes you nothing! She doesn’t have to help or give you a break! If she chooses to that her choice and nice of her but otherwise she’s definitely not required to be taking care of your child. Yes it’s hard in the first year and your going to be physically and mentally exhausted 
but you have to soldier through and keep going otherwise you will fall apart! Yes there are days I’m exhausted and drained but I don’t get to not be a mom I still have to wake up and take care of my son and be there for him. Start by giving her a little bit more appreciation and gratitude for paying all the bills and providing you and baby with a roof over your heads and I guarantee she will probably feel more appreciated and that in turn may have her want to help you with baby here and there. But regardless you need to be taking care of baby 24/7 not her and honestly you should be helping her out around the house with cleaning etc. I live with a family member as well and I do all the household chores lawn mowing and grocery buying and shopping. So personally I don’t feel that sorry for you 
because I am in a similar boat except I take care of my son and do all the other stuff on top of it as well as show great appreciation for the person I live with! Grow up
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Are you grateful at all for the amazing support that she is giving you by providing food and shelter? You want more from everyone but can only give the bar minimum of yourself because it’s depressing and stressful? You really need to seek counseling… your poor mother lost her husband and gained a needy, selfish grown adult child throwing tantrums.
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Maybe while your mom is gone during the day you could do some basic housework and also have a dinner meal ready for her when she gets off work. As a Gramma it is tough to work all day and then come home and have to care for someone else. Our energy just isn’t what it used to be and I am only 51. Maybe just that thoughtfulness towards her will help her attitude.
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You’ve chosen to become a mom. This means your wishes come second. Forever. It’s hard being propelled into adulthood, and it will be a bumpy ride. You now have a child that is counting on you to be a grown up and rise to your new station in life. So, take a deep breath, give yourself a hot minute to adjust, because really, that’s all you get. You’re THERE now. You chose this. And after that deep breath, take a good look at your mom. She NEEDS a grown up who loves her just as much as your baby does. Time to step up.
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Get a job little girl!!! You say your momma is struggling and still helping you?? Sister that is love!! Get that “baby daddy” on support!! Not your momma!!
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You don’t want to take sketchy free housing just free? You don’t have the luxury of being a SAHM, get a job and get out, it’s your mother’s house don’t like it leave!
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Don’t be ashamed of receiving assistance. It’s there for a reason. It’s very sad that you think people live in sketchy places if their on housing assistance. You can look at the places beforehand and decide if you feel comfortable.
Also don’t be afraid to go after the “dad” for child support. If you put him on the birth certificate, the courts will automatically file child support if you apply for assistance. Don’t let that deter you! You need help! Even with that, you need to realize that your mom isn’t responsible for your child nor does she have any obligation to help you. She already is helping you by allowing you to live there. You aren’t being considerate to what she’s given up by allowing you to live there.
I suggest apply for assistance, find some type of remote job, take your child outside everyday on a walk or to the park, and then on your days off go out and do something bigger, even if it’s just going to the store and a bigger park/splash pad. This is just how it is and what you have to do now that you’re a single mother. No one owes you anything and no one is obligated to help. Try to pull yourself up and take the assistance that’s available.
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Ok here’s some actual advice that’s NOT critical like all of the above. First…seek out your job options. Your priority is to earn an income and support your kids. Once you have sought out options…speak to your mom about potentially helping with the kids until you have enough to enrol the kids in childcare. If that’s not an option, use those savings, put them in childcare and start working.
Just get to work. You will be better and do better as a mother and I bet your relationship with your mom will improve also.
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You need to get work once you are medically released. Also, the baby is yours, not your Mom’s. Pay half of everything for her or all of everything for yourself.
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Talk to a professional. I as a grandmother. Love my grandchildren. And help out when and where I can. However, it may sound a little fucked up. When it’s convenient for me. He is not my responsibility. I know being a single mother is hard. So I help straddle the cost for my daughter. And if she gets overwhelmed she will ask me to take him. But my cut off time is 2 hours. I know it sounds insensitive. If you want out of there. You’re going to have to work. Being a single mother is being both parents on all sides. Income, emotional, stress, rasing and rearing. It’s not easy. It’s depressing, and stressful. I promise you. It won’t always be this hard. As they get older they become more independent. Talk to your doctor about post partum. It’s common and nothing to be ashamed of. Not to mention, your mom is probably still grieving. Doesn’t excuse her behavior. But maybe think about how all the stress of losing her husband, a new baby in the home, a daughter she can’t seem to get along with is affecting her as well. Be gentle on yourself and your mother. Sorry to say this, but it’s no longer about you or your child to her. Her life also has meaning outside of her children. We are women first, before we’re mother’s and wives. And 2/3rds of that equation has now shifted for her. That’s a lot in it’s self. Be patient and try to put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel?
Help her out more 
I’m a stay at home mom but only bc I have a man that picks up the slack of me not bringing in money bc we both agreed that daycare wasnt an option bc ot would have cost us more to put her in daycare then for me to quite my jobs (I worked 2 jobs and brought home most of the bacon before getting pregnant and having my baby). However if I didnt have that I would have to move in with my mom and get a job to support the child that I laid down and made! My daughter is almost 2 and has never spent more then an hour away from me and I only leave her with her dad if I have to go get groceries! I suffer with ppd and ppa and I still get up every day and plaster a smile on my face and take care of my child and do not expect a damn thing from anyone when it comes to taking care of her bc it is noone else’s job or responsibility but myn and her dads to do so!!! You need to learn that lesson quick! And appreciate the hell out of what your mom does for yall bc she dosnt have to let you live their. She lost her husband and is learning to live life without him and you being ungrateful is not helping her and her keeping herself busy with chores and errands may be how she is coping and instead of you understanding that you are acting like a child throwing a damn fit!
Some people can be so incredibly insensitive. I am so sorry this has been so hard for you. Postpartum is so challenging; becoming a new mom can feel quite overwhelming and beautiful. It’s not uncommon to feel an array of emotions after bringing a baby into the world (particularly during a pandemic!). I wonder if counseling could provide you some guidance and support? You deserve to feel supported and heard so that you can continue to make the best choices for you and your baby. 
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You are considered homeless, so you qualify for every financial help available. Get on food stamps, cash assistance, and apply for the housing program. Here they call it section 8. You and your own mother need your personal space. You need to gain your independence and she has her own life.
The reality is she has her own life. She raised her kids now it’s time for you to raise yours. Apply for a job that is willing to give you a flexible work schedule to manage time with your child. You can also go back to school, and get a work study job at the college. Or babysit other people kids so you can stay home with yours.
Your mom is not a coparent or the child’s father, she has no obligations to you. Make a plan and follow through
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I just had a baby and am struggling to get along with my mom: Advice?
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I feel sorry for grandma. She has just lost her husband and now has her daughter and newborn living with her. She needs time to process her own grief. While I feel sorry for the new mum and baby, they really need their own space…
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From your mom’s point of view. I went through this with my own. Your mom just wants to be a grandma,not a nanny. She’s adjusting to a newborn again,and you for the first time. Ask yourself some hard questions
Do you feel your mom should just help you whenever?
Is your expectation not being met because your mom has taken a hands off approach?
You mentioned the death of her husband,is her mental health suffering as well? As well as post partum depression.
Just some insight to what might be going on .
When my daughter lived with me her expectations were not met by me because I took a backseat to the baby. I expected her to be a mom . Again, it’s not just you that changed having a baby,but also everyone around you had to too.
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I’m sorry but you are kinda acting selfish. You say you and your baby are basically living witg your mom rent free cause you have no job. You expect your mom to do so much for you when her husband recently died. You dont want to work cause you want something you can do from home due to covid. Come on you are not living in reality. You cant expect your mom to take care of you and your baby. Get your son into daycare or find a nanny and get a job abd save for a place. Apply for help do something. Act like a responsible parent and grow up and let your mom be a grandma
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As one mother to another, you know your comfortable in your own home. Sometimes it’s all I can do to put one foot in front of the other. My daughter had a child at 16, thank God , she lived with me, it’s been hard. For all things, maybe you’d be better off in low income housing. Maybe not so easy, but so much better, when it’s visitation. Losing your spouse is more than you know.
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Life is not a bowl of cherries. Get along with mom, don’t take everything to heart, tell her you appreciate her. Someday your child will be typing the same words.
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When I had my first I was home with my mom too. It is a whole new dynamic between you and your mom, when you have a baby. I got a job being a nanny where I could take my daughter along,after living off my savings for the first couple months. Their are a bunch of online services that connect you to families looking for care. Make sure you advocate for yourself and are clear about the job details, like pay, cleaning, time off etc. Good luck mama!
You should help her and not expect help from her. You just have a baby and she is running the house and also lost her husband. Be a daughter to her not a guest!
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Talk to your mom first and express your feelings making sure to validate how she feels as well. I’d also try and get maybe a part time job but only if you trust her and feel comfortable with her caring for the baby your way. I remember when I had my oldest son I allowed him to spend the weekend with his fathers mother but I made sure I spine to her and laid out the rules and wrote down his feeding schedule what time he naps etc etc. She didn’t follow it bec when he came back home he wouldn’t sleep or eat on schedule so he wasn’t allowed again til he was much older. There are options you just have to communicate.
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Well first of all, you need to file for child support. You didn’t make that baby alone. Secondly, you do whatever it is you need to do to get yourself in a good situation. If you need to go on welfare and get subsidized housing for now, yes it sucks, but it doesn’t have to be forever. If you have friends that you could go in with to get a place and split the bills, even better. I realize that you were probably expecting more help from your mom. But…if you were on your own, she wouldn’t be helping you either. It’s not her job anymore. She raised her child. It’s time that you, take care of you and your baby. You can apply for assistance to pay for child care as well, so then you can go out and get a job. Yes everyone wants that dream job where they can stay home, and still get paid. Realistically, the chances of that are pretty low with everyone opened back up. Why don’t you talk to your mom. There may be a chance she wants you to move out since you mentioned you’ve been living there for the last few years. If she’s concerned with everything she needs to get done, I have to ask how much you do to help around the house. Yes I know you just had a baby. I had 3 and still managed to get things done. So please don’t try using that as an excuse. There are always 2 sides to every story and I would love to hear both sides of this one.
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All very good suggestions. Please keep in mind your mother needs time and space to grieve the loss of her husband.
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My daughter lived with us and worked nights waitressing and we were with baby. She did college on line also and was with baby during day. No child support. So make sure U can get it from him! One day at a time
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Dearly Presents
Can you clarify if this is a US Mom or a UK Mum, the advice provided in terms of allowances and etc is going vary massively.
Yes, relationship advice is the same.
The both of you are going thru hard adjustments.Going thru grief,having a new baby would be more than enough to go thru.Maybe you can sit down and talk about what would help you both when you both calm.Hope it works out better for both of you !
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Call mental health…it doubts like post pardum depression…
that requires medicine and counseling. One step at a time…its your mothers house…do your part to help. Don’t expect her help. Do t ever disrespectful her…if you do it will push her away.
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Okay you had this child not your mom. Sometimes we take advantage, because they’re our parents we think that it’s their obligation to take care of the grandchildren. When it’s not. Because they raise their kids. So whatever helping hand they give you make sure you appreciated it. Peace of mind is everything. You have to do what’s best for you.
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My husband died when my son was 2yrs and I was pregnant with my daughter. I never thought to move in with or expect my mother to take care of my children. Shortly after the birth of my second I negotiated with another mom to have my kids sleep at her house under her care while worked 11pm to 7am shift. Needless to say durning the day I got little sleep but fought up on weekends. As a parent you need to do whatever is necessary to care for your children . They grow up fast and it gets easier. You need to make friends with other single moms and seek there advice and help.
It sounds as if it’s time to figure out what you are going to do for your future.
Staying home with your new baby sounds like a dream.
When you wake up, you will realize you need to find childcare and a job.
When you feel a bit more settled, enroll in school and study for a career. You and your baby deserve that wonderful future.
As for your Mom, she recently lost her husband. She now has a grown child with a baby living in her home and not supporting themselves. That is a boatload of stress for anyone.
Be kind to your Mom. Thank her for putting a roof over your heads.
Good luck.
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Go on welfare, and get some help. Just keep it short term and as a step up. You need to get away from Mom and the world will look different. Trust me. Once you get a good job then you can move on to what you really want for you and your child. Best wishes.
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Start by applying for whatever assistance may be available to you. Social services is a wide net and can include, food and housing assistance as well as medical. Try to find and connect with some other new moms in your position. Most church services let you hang onto your baby. You would benefit from seeking out any positive way to connect with others.
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Catholic family services has some young mom/ new mom programs- meant to be a support to you. Carmen there might be able to help in the child support/ social service program s that are out there for moms in your situation. DSHs might be able to help with programs- they have some that do help in getting into taining, child care. Downside is the office is not open yet so everything is done on the phone. Pm me if have questions.
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U had a baby which is totally ur responsibility u choose to do this alone knowing dad left get support from the government while looking for a job but bubs in childcare few days aweek and maybe ur mum is not coping with ur father’s death and she is keeping busy because that’s the way she deals
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All I can tell you is prey and have faith!when your mom gets stressed maybe you can offer her some help with whatever is stressing her out and if that don’t work maybe just walking away and not arguing back will help !these days times are hard stay strong and of good faith!the lord works in mysterious ways you may be right whare he wants you to be !you both just lost a loved one !support eachother the best you can !maybe you can start babysitting other children since you have your baby !just remember let go and let God the rest will follow !
You didn’t mention how old you are… think that is relative from my perspective. I think there is assistance out there and you probably more than qualify. You need to get a job, to help your Mom. You both are dealing with a lot of emotions, try working together, support each other. Clean the house, grocery shop for both of you. Try paying it forward, help your Mom out, and I think it will help both of you. Apply for assistance. Get a job, even if it’s part time. Both of you together are much stronger than either of you alone. You and your Mom take care of each other!
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Assistance is there for those who truly need it… You can find nice places… There can be a long wait for housing… please apply now… Consider it temporary… No need to be ashamed… just be more choosey when it comes to men next time… I’ve been a single mom for almost 19 years now… You’ll make it!! Protect that baby and your well-being…
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Right your mom a nice long letter. Please remember she lost her husband too. I lost my husband about ayr and a half ago. Im still grieving. Try getting a part time job for now.when your baby is about 3 mo go to full time.stay with mom. Do you realize how much day care is. Set up some ground rules. And talk to her about your letter. Talk talk and talk.
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Contact the Social services department where you had your baby and see what suggestions they have
They have access to a lot of information 
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I think your baby still receives money from the center link, but for you, you should start looking for a job, baby at child care, and just leave your mom alone she just needs some rest from raising a kid, or kids she done her job as a mother to raised you, and also dealing with a partner’s passed,it’s to much for her, it’s your turn now to stand up and help her and also care for your baby,no excuse at all you did what you did and that’s it but don’t blame your mother that’s wrong.
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The child’s father is legally responsible for his financial support whether he’s involved or not. File for child support. If you apply for welfare, the county or state may do it for you. Begin practicing gratitude toward your mom. Imagine your sweet baby writing those same words you’ve written about your own mother, about you in the future, after all the hard work and sacrifices you’re going to make to raise her. You would be heartbroken.
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Have you considered working in a daycare where you can bring your child with you? Also there are a plethora of state AND privately funded options that will assist you. You don’t necessarily have to go on welfare. HUD is housing assistance that is not linked to welfare for instance. There is options for you, you just have to put in the work and do it.
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anais Nin
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I wish I could help you both out seems you both need help in different. Ways you and your mom needs a go between to see where you two need help . It is mom’s home now , she may need different. Help then you need talk to a social worker to get a better understanding . You both need canceling. And soon please.
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Chances are your mom is also very stressed out being the sole breadwinner to take care of you guys financially and if she works a lot it’s probably not having the energy to help with the baby as much as maybe you would like I just see things from both sides I guess in the situation
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Thinking you need to get child support from the baby’s dad, a job for you, & daycare for your baby. Most mom’s go back to work when their babies are 6 weeks old. Then you can get your own apartment & visit your mom from time to time. You sound very entitled to me, your mom is not the problem.
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I lost my husband of 46 years in February due to covid. I still have mood swings please just give her time to greave it will get better.
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I think the person said to put the baby up for adoption was wrong yes she needs to get a job and get child care you can go thru 4 cs they will help you with child care I know I work for 4 cs good luck and have patients
You do need help. Step 1. You need to get into counseling. I don’t know where you are located but since you have no money begin contacting your local churches. They have great places to help you and you do not have to be a Christian and you won’t have to pay. Explain that you are desperate. Step 2 contact your county social service agency and begin applying for public assistance. Food stamps, Snap for the child, rental assistance (even if it goes to your mom landlord) get whatever is available. Catholic charities or your counselor can help you fill out forms 3. Your mom needs to see a counselor too. 4. Do not despair. You must put one foot in front of the other and attack one thing each day. Keep reaching out for help. From the bottom the only way is up. Step 5. Get out of the house every day. Take a walk. Go to the library. Coffee shop Pet store. Don’t go where it will make you sad that you are broke. Remember your mom is probably too sad and overwhelmed to help much. You cannot solve her problems.
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The two of you need counseling. It’s worth money to alt least spend some money for a little while to help you get started at a look for help. It might be time for the babies father to send some money to help with support. Counseling would help with that.
While it would be nice to stay at home with your child it doesn’t sound like the situation would allow for that. Not sure your work background or skills but it’s ok to work outside the home and get care for your child.
Not a great time for you both. She’s grieving and you have new born. I think you need to sit down and have a talk. Xx
Get yourself and your mom both into family counseling… You are feeling so sorry for yourself you have no real judgment about anything right now. I’m sure, with third party help, you and your mom can find a good compromise. She’s been willing to have you move in, she’s had grief of her own and you each need to recognize that and be willing to talk frankly. Your mom can be a lifesaver for you and your baby right now. Work on being able to discuss both of your needs right now and neither of you should have qualms about being honest about what is going on with each other… But you need a third party to help you through these times …
Omg. I am so sad to read this. From the cultural background I came from, your maternal side is extremely supportive in this very situation especially your mother. As I recall my mother, she sacrificed her life in order to give us good life, send us all in professional schools in limited resources and when I get to bed rest in my pregnancy she took extra care of me even though she fell extremely sick after that and passed away after 4 month of my delivery. And after that my sister left her job in order to give care to my babies as i was working full time faculty in a university. May be in our culture mothers/sisters are like that as they consider their children as their entire universe.
You’d what you have to do for you sake and the baby’s and that call for getting on some kind of aid and will get on housing for you too. The first thing is you and you baby go for it girlfriend.
Welfare is there to help you get on your feet. Go talk to them and find out what they can do. You can then work on getting at least a pt job to get you started. Good luck to you and your child
Trust me this is every family and I usually go outside or something to give space
If you need to talk, msg me. My daughter went thru a very similar situation. There ARE options…good options.
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If you want to be a good parent and carer get yourself educated or trained and get into working and looking after yourself and your bub. There are otgers worse off than you yet they have made something of their life. Your mum is not your carer . Pull yourself up and do a course maybe a child minding one …so many courses on offer. So much you can do. If you want your child to be a good kid he needs a role model and it is you. You will appreciate how it all pans out especially when you see the hardwork you put in has made a man of your son as he has you to fall back on. I speak from experience of struggle and hardwork but with no help from mum or anyone. Today my son is a good kind respectful responsible young man and always thanks me for making him the man he is today. Believe me this is the best most rewarding achievement in my life. You can do it. !!