My SO and I had a baby less than a month ago. He also has a three-year-old from a previous relationship. We have her fulltime, and I’ve been there since the beginning, so I’m a mom. We’ve recently had some housing issues, so since the baby was born, we’ve been living separately. On Friday, he went out of state with his daughter to visit family, and I stayed back with our newborn. He told me yesterday that he’s not sure he will be coming back, and he opened the conversation by saying we had been growing apart since our baby has been born. I told him he needs to make his own decisions because it sounded like he was asking for my permission to abandon us. Not sure if he’s deciding whether he’s going to move or whether he still loves me, but we haven’t talked since yesterday morning. How do I handle this?
If he abandons you and the baby let him. File for support and custody.
Wtf you’re growing apart and the baby is a month old?! Why and when did him and his ex split…he jealous of the baby? I’m an asshole and would say grow a pair and help out with your new baby and get over yourself
Sounds terrible 
just let him go if that’s what he wants to do. His loss.
I would file for custody child support and forget his ass he dare him abandon u guys prayers for u and baby I’m a single mom was in a similar situation it hurt like hell trust me if he dont want y’all ur better off
Let him go. He will regret it. You and the baby deserve better.
Your better off without him
Take care of your baby and yourself and let him go and if he leaves you and the baby one time he will leave you again
Why convince someone to stay when they should want to? File for custody & support & stay strong momma❤
Take it 1 day at a time. Let urself grieve. Then move on and focus on you and baby. If he doesn’t want to be in your life them show him u don’t need him.
Take care of you and your baby. Sometimes trash takes itself out… You’ll be better off
change the locks and make a plan for you and your childs life… if hes bailing out at this stage then hes not worth keeping…
I want to give you a hug, sorry if that weird. This is just the hardest thing. Let him go, screw him. Go for the money for your baby and custody. Don’t let him back in, hopefully he can sort himself out for his newborn. Change the locks
Talk to him. Press him. Little more and ask him what he wants. If he wants to go let him. Sry that ur going through this @ such a vulnerable time.
I’m sad for you. I have no advice, be strong mama. For you and your little one. 
Damn it seems like this trip was planned long ago… File for full custody and file for child support. Like someone else said. Chamge the locks. And do for u and the baby. Stay strong.
I’m sorry for your loss, but he’s not worth fighting for if he’s doing this to you and baby
Since the baby’s been born? It was a month ago ffs… Sounds like someone needs to grow up. Real relationships aren’t perfect 100% of the time. Either that or he has other reasons.
Uhm-
Contact a lawyer and get support for his child-then move on
He is not worth crying about if he is doing this to u and your baby… let him move on… someone better is out there and will love u for what u r
Good luck… baby needs a full time dad not a part time want to be
.
Well you can’t make him stay. Hopefully you can take care of yourself and daughter on your own.
I’d say forget him. You and your baby deserve better. Even if he decides he wants to come back to you, I wouldn’t let him. He abandoned you and your baby. No decent man would ever do that. I’d file for custody and press child support.
Get custody of child, file for support and try n move on with life
Focus on you and yours. Don’t worry about him.
It’s been a month?? Jesus. Says a lot about him as a person. Having said that, maybe he’s just not adjusting well. When my husband gets overwhelmed, he starts throwing shit overboard before the ship has capsized, and sometimes I’m one of the things he tries to chuck. It’s a panic response primarily, but I also think it goes back to feeling abandoned by his mother when he was 1… like a test. Tell him no. Tell him he can’t leave, and you won’t accept that. And you’ll hunt him down and drag him back until he chooses to take responsibility for his choices. I mean, it’s that or take him to court for everything he has ever had or will ever have. Go after the little girl too. Sue for visitation. 
Anyway, I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It’s not fair to have to deal with this along with a new baby. Gotta pick more wisely in the future. No more babies until you’re both grown, in love, married, and own property together in both your names. 
I can’t tell you not to hurt:/ because I know what being left with a newborn baby feels like. But keep moving forward. He didn’t deserve that beautiful baby if he could do that.
Ask him what he wants to do and to be honest and opened with how he feels.
Take it off Facebook and talk to him. Find out why you are growing apart and what is going on. Decide what you want for the relationship and express that. Then focus the hell out on that baby no matter what the baby needs you
I wish I could hug you. I am so sorry 
He doesn’t deserve you. A man doesn’t abandon his family especially without tell them!! He should have been honest. Nobody grows apart in a month. He is using the baby as an excuse.
Feeling separated from your SO once a baby is born is completely normal. Why don’t you guys try couples counseling? He shouldn’t be giving up on you and his newborn based on that. He should know (from his previous) things will slow down for the both of you for a bit until your baby is a few months old. I’d do that or get him on child support ASAP!!
Ouch… some hurtful crap right there my girl . I am so sorry for you to go through this .
As much as this hurts brace yourself . Hes found someone else to cater to his needs . Next time you see him serve him with custody and child support
Pos move on his part though … Plays dad to one kid then ditches the other … sounds all to familiar with my ex
I was left when we found out I was pregnant . Then when he found out it was a boy he for sure left then really disappeared and made me look like a fool when our son was born birth defects that are from his side of the family soo it was even worse and then he went and is rasing a little girl without issues.
“You’ve been growing apart since the baby was born”??? You have a newborn 
Jesus Christ what a tool. You’re better off without him
Get child support y move on
You definitely don’t need a POS who will even think about abandoning you with his newborn. If he’s already considering deserting you and bub now, how can you ever feel any confidence in having a future as a family with this scum? Move foward in life!
Not that you haven’t thought about this already, But that is exactly what you don’t need in your life!!!
My heart aches for you, especially since you just had a baby. My daughters dad was here physically but very un supportive through pregnancy, delivery and still isn’t hands on, we haven’t seen him all weeknd. I know he’s ‘working’ but I also know he wastes a lot of time and could put his family first. She almost 17mos and I’ve felt like a single parent since day 1. You are amazing and have a beautiful baby regardless of he stays or goes. You’ve got this. Message me if you need to vent or need some help.
He’s mentally and physically already moved on. Housing issues? Living separately? Sounds like neither of you have your lives together enough to even have a baby together imo. Definately not getting the whole story at all here. But, you have to have certain things on place for any relationship to last, that’s a no brainer. If you do not have a solid foundation, everything will fall apart. Btw, you should be more concerned about your newborn and less concerned about the father atm. Focus on getting you and your child a place to live.
Less than a month? It takes longer than that to adjust to a new family member. If he can’t stick it out you both deserve better. Something isn’t adding up with his reasoning. Focus on taking care of that baby and take your next steps from there.
Being a single mom is very common…get a job take care of you and your child … rise honey…let him regret
Wow…so sorry…i know it must be so difficult especially with just giving birth. It sounds like he doesn’t want to be together. Its sad that he will miss out on a life with you and your newborn, but in the long run would you want your baby to become attached for him to leave then…and having to explain where daddy is? You’ll be sad, you’ll cry, but you’ll pick yourself up and be ok. File for child support…and if for whatever reason you two do work out get it anyway…if you are together the money will come to both of you so it shouldn’t be a problem. Wishing you the best.
Let him go if that is what he wants BUT sue his but for child support
Going to be the odd one out here and say try talk to him face to face, ask why he is feeling like that, what adjustments can be made. Even look in to family counseling or a church to help you two through this. You both have brought a child in to this world so should at least try have a family unit.
Tell him to take the door and go to hell.
It sounds like a pattern since you said he has a girl and you were there from the start
Let him go. You and the baby deserve better. What a tool.
What kind of coward does that over text message?!?
You need a man not a little boy. Youre worth so much more and some day you will find a man who recognizes that and he will love you and your baby.
You had the baby less than a month ago and he says you’ve been “growing apart ever since?” What the what?! No couple feels super connected right after the baby is born because you are exhausted and hormonal and the baby needs so much. But to act like not feeling as close for less than one month is a reason to end your relationship? Let him freaking go. He isn’t someone who can do ride or die, in it for the good times and the bad. He bases his relationship status on how he’s feeling right now…and feelings change all the time. He’s not reliable and he’s going to cause you pain. Let him run and wish him well because you’re gonna find something so much better.
File for child support. If he thinks he can create kids and not have to do anything to raise them, then he has another thing coming. What a piece of crap
With child support papers…
Tell him to send the check or you’ll send the cops you dead beat daddy. He’ll come back
He sounds like someone u do NOT need to waste your Life/time on!! U r worth a whole lot more!! Stay strong!! God Bless u & your Baby!! <3
However you get him is how you’ll lose him. Sounds like repeating patterns.
I would go file child support tommorow morning! And then tell him adios
Keep your cool, don’t ask him to stay this decision must be all on him, otherwise he will tell people you made the choice and pushed him away but if things go pear shaped, get yourself a job, find a preschool, live your own life and take car of you and your baby. Best of luck! Stay strong!
Just let him go. Don’t say a word!! It’ll be even harder if u beg him to stay.
Let him go… Take care of you & your new baby. Don’t beg him, if he don’t wanta come back thats on him. He will be sorry when he sees you’re making it without him.
I’m old ok… 71… I was raised a certain way for certain reasons some I don’t agree with. By the way, I was a single mom also after two divorces very early in life. Here is my question, if you as a couple can’t commit to each other why do you bring children into this world until you can. It’s hard enough to learn to live with each other without bringing a innocent child in the mix. There is plenty of different birth control, girls please quit trapping yourself.
This is a tough one. Especially because you have love for his baby girl too. No one can tell you what to do you have to just follow your heart. You know him better than any of us. I’m one to do everything to keep my family together. Relationships are hard. Family life is hard. At this moment you probably feel so lost and betrayed I’m so sorry. Make preparations towards making it on your own. Being a single mom is very hard but luckily there is help if you look for it. I hope you have family. I’m sorry he’s doing this. Especially when it’s the holidays. I wish you the best of luck.
Sounds like he went back to his baby mama
Let him go. It’s not fair to you for him to leave when times are tough. Working out issues is an essential part of making a relationship stronger. Every relationship will have issues at some point. He’ll learn soon enough the grass isn’t greener on the other side. He’ll be back but you need to figure out whether or not you’re going to continue to allow him to abandon you and your child.
Ok. So time to woman up because it sounds like you will going this alone…
SAME EXACT THING my daughters baby daddy did. Less than 6 months after their child was born he MARRIED a woman who was a stranger to him… & is raising HER 3 year old while he hasn’t seen his own child in 5 months.
Honestly…it was the best thing he could possibly do for them.
Being a single mom IS hard. But can be amazing. Don’t over analyze it. Don’t internalize it. This was HIS BAD. NOT YOURS. Now just be there 100% for your baby… .
Hold that beautiful little on. Grieve for the relationship then dust yourself off and job to take care of yourself and your child. It will be worth it. He’s a coward you don’t need that
Leave dont wait on him if hes talking like that
He left first THEN messaged you to tell you hes thinking of staying there. While your home with his child too just waiting for him to come back from a trip? He couldn’t confront these issues to you in person? With YOUR GUYS child you JUST HAD.
If he dont leave you you need to leave him . I know being alone with baby may sound hard but it will be worth it for you and more importantly your child in the end.
You dont need him definently a boy not a man. Know what you deserve. Love yourself and your child first and tell him to kick rocks
If I just had someone’s baby and then they left state to tell me they were thinking of not returning I would tell him hes better off staying cuz the door will be locked when you return.
Let him go. You don’t need him. Keep your self respect…
Wow!!! Honestly if he’s willing to leave you after you helped raise a baby that’s not yours AND you JUST risked your life to give him another leave him. He will come back, trust me on that but don’t be so quick to let him. It’s going to be hard to be a single mom so find some support system and put him on child support, nobody should be able to leave you like that and get away with it.
Let him go file child support
Boss up. Work your ass off and provide for your child. You don’t need him and sounds like you are better off if this is what he’s going to do. Better be sad for a little while, while getting over him than sad the whole relationship wondering what he’s doing. You got this momma!!
Obviously he’s confused… make the decision for him… Bye Felicia!!!
If he feels that way now, even if y’all do work it out, he’s going to leave in the long run. Just cut ties now. It will hurt a lot less for all of you if you wait another 6 months or a year from now.
He was done way before the baby was born. Smh
Count your blessings and tell him peace
End it now cause itll save you the drama later whennit happens again and it’s worse
What an asshole .
A REAL man would not do that…
Unless he was trapped into the last pregnancy.
SENDING prayers…
Make sure u get him for child support …
He made this child …tax payers should Not have to pay …
Never did understand why some people think tax payers should have to pay for there fun…
Yes I have w2 s to show i worked to support mine …
Also I made sure there father wasnt a fn loser before I had children with him …
Ladie s…please pick your sperm donor carefully…
Tell him to make up his mind and be quick about it because you need to figure out what you need to do and how fast you need to do it. File for custody if your child no matter what.
If he don’t care enough to marry you and give the child a home -why would you stay-you may have another child soon-quit while you are ahead
Well screw him. He’s making choices without you. You handle this by handling you and your baby. Figure out what you need to survive and what assistance you may need until you’re on your feet and then move forward- like he did without you. You can’t ever really count on people so you have to come to terms with how you feel about him and what you want to do but I’d be very hesitant to give chances to hurt you again.
I’d make the decision for him and just tell him not to come back! My ex told me the only reason he was with me was because of my daughter and not because he actually loved me. That shit hurt because I literally busted my butt for that relationship and our baby was a surprise baby. So I did the right thing and did it on my own. Your baby deserves you at your best and strongest and clearly the father isn’t that and you are! You will be just fine!!
Just let him go if he wants to leave you and his child
Just let him go don’t chase after him
Find out where he’s staying and slap him with child support asap
Cry it out. Yell it out. Punch a pillow. But get it out. He obviously doesn’t u derstand adn is willing to abandon you and youd child. Let him. And if he decides to come back maybe. But maybe dont let him. Time to take charge momma
Don’t take this idiot back and go after him for child support and everything else you can get!!!
I know your hurt but if a “man” doesn’t know what he wants to do and decides this after a new baby let him go. No body deserves this. Focus on you and your baby! I would file for child support as well… I wish you good luck momma:heart:
his already giving you your answer hr doesn’t want to be with you your only going to break your heart more by staying with him leave go live with family or friends file for child support
Whatever you do… Do not beg him to come back!! Never lose your self respect the minute you do you become nothing but a joke to him. Trust me!
Let him leave you and baby don’t deserve someone who isn’t sure if he wants to come back or not. Slap him with child support too
U just have to let him go thier nothing u can do.
Let him go he’s not worth being with! It’s not going to be easy for you but be strong for yourself and above all for your child!
Make sure i repeat make sure you file for child support don’t let him go out there and live his life as you struggle with his kid.
It shall be well stay strong
My heart breaks for you! </3
You need let this man go who had no decision making personality, be strong and take care of your child well.
You need to make your own preparations in case he doesn’t come back you need to find a place that you can afford and family to help you and I would be filing for child support through the court
It’s already decided, he knew this when he left. Pregnancy takes a toll on a relationship…so many changes…if he is gonna flee this easily…you can fight now…a delay what will happen later. It sucks…
Hes a child not a man
Take care of you and the baby. Dont even call or msg him
It is easy for every couple to grow apart and have a hard time when pregnant and having a new child but if thats how hes dealing with it rather than trying to fix it then end the pain now so your baby never has to feel what you do now. 
You’ve had baby less than a month and he says it’s because of that. He’s just an arse and a selfish one at that.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this it would be awful.
I don’t think I would stay or give him any kind of explanation ever. I would ghost him and just apply for child support. If he is thinking this way then unfortunately in my opinion he has already made his decision. Wish you all the best
Sounds like he doesn’t want to be with you anymore. I don’t think he wants to abandon his child seeing how he did not abandon his three-year-old. Maybe she wants to be single so that he can go have sex with whoever he wants and not feel guilty about it and then come back to you when you can have sex with him again. Maybe the stress of surrounding things other than your relationship and your relationship finally reached a Breaking Point and that’s why he wants to call it quits. You both need to have an honest conversation about what do moving forward and where does that leave his newborn baby and his three-year-old and you definitely need to separate your feelings and him not loving you from his relationship with his newborn child because those are two different things just because he doesn’t love you doesn’t mean he doesn’t love his child. Definitely call and have a honest mature conversation even if it hurts and figure out where your relationship stands where that leaves your newborn daughter with his visits with baby, child support,and custody.
Men can get post natal depression too. Have a conversation with him
Send the baby back and get your money back…
Oh let the idiot go …women are strong and don’t need idiots.
Use his bags to hold open the door for him as he leaves and make sure to change the locks after. Just think at least its not and not when your new bundle is aware to understand more. Sounds like a bellend!