I just had a c-section and my husband doesn't help me with anything: Advice?

Last week I gave birth with c-section I’m staying with my husband, he still expects me to do everything in the house.he does not have time for us he is always on his phone. On Monday we had an argument then he told me that I’m no longer attractive. He can’t even kiss me.I’m heartbroken. I think he does not love me anymore I need advice as should I just go or stay…but the thing is that I don’t wanna be hurt.

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You will get hurt more if you stay

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Sounds like a piece of shit…

My daughter ended up with an infection because she was doing too much after her c-section.

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Divorce. Ask a close friend or family member for help. You shouldn’t be with someone like that. He sounds toxic.

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Staying would be hurting yourself more honey. You just had his child. If he isnt there more for you most now he doesnt deserve you at your best

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Get him out…he sounds like an asshole

Divorce and find someone better

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Never depend on a man I did everything five kids 3 c sections ur the women u need to do it all

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I could not get out of bed because the incision hurt so bad…mine used his legs and pushed me out of bed…Girl RUN! Throw the entire husband away…You got the wrong one. Just think about when you get sick? Who going to care for you and baby…game changer!! RUN-Now

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You said it yourself. You dont want to be hurt. Dont let yourself stay in that situation. You and the baby are the most important things. And if he doesn’t see that, you have to go.

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Just remember you are the most important person to yourself and your baby right now. Don’t over exert yourself, you will end up with an infection. Love yourself

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Leave him, you are worth way more than that. You and your baby.

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I had two c-sections and if my did that, he would be gone!!!

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You stay where you are. He needs to go.

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If hes already telling you your unattractive after just giving life to your child, to him you should be the most beautiful thing ever… if he already feels this way, how do you think hes going to feel when you guys get old…

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It’s going to hurt but leave!

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how much clearer does the situation have to be??. If you need a hundred people telling you to leave your gonna be one of the ones who stay .

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I feel that if a man isn’t helping you immediately after giving birth, he’s not a man I would want to be with. It will only get worse. And with him flat-out saying he isn’t attracted, I’d be out of there.

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Go stay with someone who can help you out while you heal. The rest will fall in place accordingly i bet. If he doesnt contact u while ur gone to check on you or babes. Theres your answer

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Go back and read what you wrote and think about what you would tell someone if they were in that position. That will be your answer even if its hard to accept.

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Is this new or was he always an asshole?

In my opinion leave he already gave ypu your answer.leave now staying will only hurt you more in the long run.

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You are already getting hurt, staying will hurt you more

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It is going to hurt a LOT worse if you stay! Find someone that loves you.

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Some men just don’t have a clue about anyone but themselves sweetie take care of your self and your new baby it is so hard especially after having a baby and surgery as well.

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Honestly, he’s probably cheating on you, and probably has been for a while. Don’t do anything other than care for your kid and yourself. Once you can pack, pack up and leave.

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That’s easy, don’t do it. Don’t do anything. Why would you want to stay with someone like that? I’d be gone. Maybe heal a little first then get the heck out of there.

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Leave…it wont get better

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:thinking: sounds like he’s emotionally cheating.

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I had a baby a month ago and had a csection. For the first few weeks I stayed in bed. My husband got up at 5am got the kids ready for school, cleaned, did laundry, made dinners, did homework. All you should be doing is healing and taking care of your newborn. Thats beyond bullshit! My husband even works 50 to 60 hours a week on top of it. I still have 2 weeks of healing to go and he’s helping. I passed out at 9pm last night and he stayed up and did 2 feedings and let me sleep. Today was the first day I got up with our kids. Dont mess around with csections. I had 2 bad ones and had to see a wound clinic and had 2 wound vacs. Its major surgery. He needs to help and you need to tell his ass its help or divorce.

I was bluntly told one day that some men just dont find pregnant women attractive. Especially after the birth experience. It spooks them too… it’s your decision tho to set boundaries and make the call if it’s to much or not. He still has no right to not be a dad! He needs to support that child no matter what.

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You need all the help in the world with a csection. If he cant help you after they cut you open to bring your little to this world, fuck him. Sorry
A real man will help you no matter how you gave birth!

Sounds like you are already hurt. I cant tell you what to do, but I’ll tell you what I would do based off the horrible relationships I have endured and the amazing marriage I have now. I’d leave. I would want someone that loves and wants me as much as I love and want them, not someone I just had a baby with that is clearly not making our family a priority. That isnt what I would want for my life. You deserve better.

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Leave his dumb ass. He sounds like a waste of space. Tell him to kick rocks

He needs to leave!! You deserve so much better than that. The last thing you need right now is all of this completely unnecessary stress on you.

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Leave before it hurts more

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GO! F him! He’s probably screwing around anyway.

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Why is it even a question he’s telling you to your face. Basically he might have found someone new.

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What an asshole. Fuck him. Leave and yake care of you and that baby.

Leave his ass. You’re already hurt.you can do better.your child doesn’t need to be around drama.

You are already being hurt. Leave and let him figure out how important you are. You can play his game too

Youjust said he was already saying hurtful things…you’re already being hurt leave now!!! Why even type this out? #ByeFelicia

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If you are no longer attractive to him he will eventually cheat on you with someone who he finds attractive and you will hurt even more. If you love him why don’t dress up,put some makeup on, hace someone babysit the kids and ask him to take you out to dinner :blush:

Just poison him and set the house on fire :tipping_hand_woman:

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Best advise given to me was to leave. The baby is still small and you can start over perhaps find someone over time who values you for you and not for your appearance. The best of luck for you and your baby!Sending all positive vibes remember there is a lot of help out there! Don’t let it build and regret not leaving earlier. You’re capable of anything, just have faith and put your dedication to it.

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Find a man that will love you
No matter what you are the queen
Of the home

If you have family or friends to stay with I would go that route, at least for a while so you can take care of you and the baby because that’s the most important right now especially if he isn’t doing anything for you anyway. It’s going to hurt either way but sounds like it might hurt worse if you stay because of the emotional abuse. Hope things get better for you and the LO!

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Omg… Thats horrible. Leave him. And now.

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He sounds like an asshole.

If he doesn’t love you anymore, then there’s no point in staying

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He is ignoring you and the baby, not helping around the house after you had a major surgery, can’t even kiss you? Definitely time to go. Don’t stay and hurt yourself further.

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What do you mean by “I’m staying with my husband”?

Like you’re renting a room at his house?

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I’m so sorry! In this time of need, if he isn’t rising to the occasion, or at least attempting to try, you need to let him go. I hope you find some help☹️

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I wouldn’t stay an deal with that at all. I’d go where someone was willing to help me recover properly! I would file for Divorce an custody (obviously he can have access unless proven unfit) an move on. That’s not healthy at all

First of all this breaks my heart. Bless you honey. You are healing, your emotions are raw,. Take care of you and that beautiful baby. After you feel better and are recuperated then think; what do I need to do first,second, and so on to walk away. Be prepared please

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So what he is doing is right and isn’t ok but please remember some people react differently to changes. Try to cool down and have an honest talk.

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Why would you want to stay with someone who doesn’t love ya :face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth: . I would take my baby and go file for child support right away. Your child deserves to be in a loving home. :heart::pray:

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Divorce. Seriously, if he doesn’t help you now, during this special “baby” honeymoon, he isn’t going to help you thru their terrible twos or anything else.

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Honey, you’re already hurt. Leave his sorry ass!

Ppl treat you how you allow momma.
Think of your child… Would you want them in your situation?
File for a seperation/divorce and he needs to leave.
Unless you’d like a clean break in which case, you pack your stuff and the babies stuff, serve him with the papers and leave.
File for full custody and move on.

If he isn’t willing to see a counsellor, I would leave.

Omg sweetheart I’m so so sorry I have went through 3 C-sections and mine husband did everything at the hospital and at home until he went back to work and he never expected me to clean until I was healed my 3 year old I broke my leg with her 2 weeks before my csection im so so sorry you are beautiful and you brought life into this world his child at that and he should have more respect for you I’m telling you know if you over do it you will end up with it busting open and infected like I did and it’s not fun at all I wouldnt do it you need to worry about getting you healed and your baby the house can wait

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Personally, I would give him a little bit more time. Men can go through postpartum depression too. He may just need some time to adjust… make sure your feelings and your needs are known. Try to get him to help out with the baby. Ask him to stay home with the baby while you run an errand. Some bonding time may help and being fully responsible for the baby may open his eyes to all the work you’re doing. I hope he will come around. But if he doesn’t, you should leave him.

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Wow! You just had a major surgery to birth his child and he wont help and for him to say that to you just wow. Just leave!

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if you stay you’ll hurt, if you leave you’ll hurt, but you’ll also be able to heal the hurt. if he married you for your body, he was in the wrong. you be with someone that you like the inside of, but love your looks.

don’t do anything for him. just take care of your baby and you. he’ll see that he’ll have to help out. it takes two to tango, and make that baby that grew within you, pregnancy changes a woman’s body. From the way you put it, he’s no husband or father.

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Congratulations on your new baby.now it’s time ,as soon as you’ve healed ,to make some tough decisions about your marriage…I’d suggest a counselor ,but a man who watches you have a c section with his child ,then WONT HELP and says you aren’t attractive -I don’t think a man like that deserves you and your precious baby.blessings and good luck.

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I’d take the baby and go . Life is too short

You’re already hurt. Think of your new baby. Talk to an attorney, get some legal advice as far as what your rights are and what his are in your state.
Chin up mama, you have a brand new life that depends on this very decision :kissing_heart:

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I would put it out like this, “if you don’t find me, the woman that grew OUR baby, attractive, then find yourself another place to go!” It’s bad enough that we as women are hard enough on ourselves, especially after giving birth, you don’t need that extra making you feel like you’re not good enough! Best of luck to you :heart:

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I’d definitely be leaving…

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Go before you become so frustrated and depressed. He ain’t gonna help now or ever so why stay?, and get yourself stressed.

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You deserve better I know it hurts and going to hurt even more. Please think about yourself and your baby. Go home and I know your mom or family member be glad to help you. Praying for you🙏

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Having a baby is the true test of love in a marriage because it’s so stressful at the beginning especially . If he doesn’t love you now then nothing is more telling than that. Get out :disappointed:

You need to leave. You deserve better than that. If he wants to go to counseling after you leave then by all means,try it! But your baby should see how a real man should treat a woman! Best wishes!!

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1 hes a dick bag not because of not helping but because of his comments. You deserve better. I have 2 kids my second was a csection and I did everything at home and arrends with no help my fiance works long hours and I have no family.

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You need support and he’s no longer your support, you need to take your kids and go stay with someone you trust who can help you during recovery. It’s going to get more mentally and emotionally draining for you when you have to deal with it physically already.

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Wow. What a hateful human being. I’m so sorry he is being so unkind to you. I’d suggest counseling. Are you both young? Seems like an immature thing to say.

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That is awful you marry him get pregnant with his baby only to be cut open and endure all those issues just to be told that. Hunny Idk you but you’re beautiful! And he clearly doesnt deserve you!

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I’m so sorry! You deserve so much more then that. If hes not willing to help out with his child I’d be leaving. He has no right of treating you like that… both you and the kids deserve someone who adores yous. If you need someone to talk to feel free to message me at any time :blush::heart:

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I went through this exact thing 2 yr ago and I decided to leave him when my son was a month old I knew i deserved better and so did my son…and it was the best thing 2 months after i left he was already dating someone else except in reality he lived with me because i was paying all the bills except for my car note thinking i was being the good wife and help him with his debit and believing him when he would tell me he couldnt afford mich because of his irs debit and child support for his other kids which mind you stayed with us but he would not do anything to stop the child support so i had 2 jobs paying everything and doing everything to find out he was already cheating and also cheating with the mother of his 2 daughters which is why he would let her keep the money while i provided for us all and then to also find out he was hiding money from…did it hurt to leave yes and at times does it still hurt yes but i know i did the best thing for me and my son and i am happier for it. I deserve better.

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This is incredibly sad. How can someone treat you this way a week after having his baby? Perhaps therapy would help.

If he isn’t helping you now he never will
If you can’t pay the bills there yourself I would try and see if you can stay with your parents
If you can take care of the house financially I would tell him to get out

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When I had my c-section I don’t know what I would have done without my sister…she came over and mopped my floors for me…ill always remember her for that…my husband was off only 1 week…and if I hadn’t have had my family…I would have been in deep trouble…

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You’re already hurting :woman_shrugging:t2: he sounds like a POS

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You’re already hurt
Sounds like he maybe cheating? Do what’s best for you and your kids

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You need to tell him to kiss your ass!!! You just gave birth to his child!!! And he is talking to you like that. No I wouldn’t put up with that. It’s gonna take time for u to heal. And he should be helping you. Not talking to you like that!!!

:notes:its beginning to look a lot like leave him :notes:

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No one wants to be hurt, of course youd rather not deal with that emotional end of it. But its indefinite at this point and it’s going to continue to get worse and worse. Leave before it gets worse or he strays from the marriage and cheats. That will hurt a whole lot worse

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If my husband ever treated me this way id be long gone✌

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You are already hurt, and it’s not gonna get better. Don’t raise your baby in a loveless relationship, your child will be better for it! Do you have parents or a friend to go stay with for a few days, at least? I’d go without saying a damn word, and see how long it took him to notice!

You need to be resting and have him helping. If he’s not supporting you then I’d leave for a place where you’ll get some help. Having a csection isn’t easy especially when you’re not getting help with your newborn… get help momma and don’t stress yourself on stupid boys… :heart::heart:

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What u mean u don’t want to be hurt he already hurt u .Sorry he doesn’t sound like he is a father or husband or even respects u for what he said u can be a single mother so don’t be afraid to because sounds like UR going to be one anyways might as well make life a little easier for UR self and kick him to curb now he sounds in mature sorry I’m a mom and gram I’m forward because been there before and don’t waist UR life thinking u can change him course u can’t u deserve to be respected and not mentally or emotionly abused

I can’t stand men sometimes. So blind. Leave. Focus everything on baby. He will realize he was very very wrong once he’s alone.

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Been there with 3 c-sections. if you have communicated that you need help and he still doesnt help then do what is best for you and the baby and get out. You deserve SOO much better. you are healing and you can over do it. thankfully i didn’t hurt myself while recovering from my c-sections but i knew there was that risk there everytime but i was stubborn and did far more then i should have due to my now ex not helping like he should have.

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Get your baby and leave. You only need to see about your child’s and your health. He’s a loser. And not worth your heartache.

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Break his phone. And his face. Not even kidding. You should be resting and bonding with the baby. I wouldn’t lift a finger to do shit for him. He sounds horrible.

Leave his ass. It’s gonna be hard at first but if you stay it will be worse

Sounds like he loves himself only
Get rid of him
Nothing is going to get better
I’m really sorry but hes a butt hole

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I think you need time to heal so do not make any drastic decisions in your weakened state of health , mentally and physically . You need time to recover from having A baby . Go about your life being kind to yourself . Take care of your children as best as you can . Your strength and energy should return , but it takes time . Do not waste time in arguments with your husband . Realize he is not thinking clearly right now . Give it time and stop being hurt constantly. Focus on recovering from having a baby . You need whatever help he will give you at this time in your weakened state of health. You will know if your marriage can be saved or not in time. Meanwhile, if he is not violent , You need help at least until you get well. Prayers everyday to God in the name of Jesus will help you too.

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