I would put it out like this, “if you don’t find me, the woman that grew OUR baby, attractive, then find yourself another place to go!” It’s bad enough that we as women are hard enough on ourselves, especially after giving birth, you don’t need that extra making you feel like you’re not good enough! Best of luck to you
I’d definitely be leaving…
Go before you become so frustrated and depressed. He ain’t gonna help now or ever so why stay?, and get yourself stressed.
You deserve better I know it hurts and going to hurt even more. Please think about yourself and your baby. Go home and I know your mom or family member be glad to help you. Praying for you🙏
Having a baby is the true test of love in a marriage because it’s so stressful at the beginning especially . If he doesn’t love you now then nothing is more telling than that. Get out
You need to leave. You deserve better than that. If he wants to go to counseling after you leave then by all means,try it! But your baby should see how a real man should treat a woman! Best wishes!!
1 hes a dick bag not because of not helping but because of his comments. You deserve better. I have 2 kids my second was a csection and I did everything at home and arrends with no help my fiance works long hours and I have no family.
You need support and he’s no longer your support, you need to take your kids and go stay with someone you trust who can help you during recovery. It’s going to get more mentally and emotionally draining for you when you have to deal with it physically already.
Wow. What a hateful human being. I’m so sorry he is being so unkind to you. I’d suggest counseling. Are you both young? Seems like an immature thing to say.
That is awful you marry him get pregnant with his baby only to be cut open and endure all those issues just to be told that. Hunny Idk you but you’re beautiful! And he clearly doesnt deserve you!
I’m so sorry! You deserve so much more then that. If hes not willing to help out with his child I’d be leaving. He has no right of treating you like that… both you and the kids deserve someone who adores yous. If you need someone to talk to feel free to message me at any time
I went through this exact thing 2 yr ago and I decided to leave him when my son was a month old I knew i deserved better and so did my son…and it was the best thing 2 months after i left he was already dating someone else except in reality he lived with me because i was paying all the bills except for my car note thinking i was being the good wife and help him with his debit and believing him when he would tell me he couldnt afford mich because of his irs debit and child support for his other kids which mind you stayed with us but he would not do anything to stop the child support so i had 2 jobs paying everything and doing everything to find out he was already cheating and also cheating with the mother of his 2 daughters which is why he would let her keep the money while i provided for us all and then to also find out he was hiding money from…did it hurt to leave yes and at times does it still hurt yes but i know i did the best thing for me and my son and i am happier for it. I deserve better.
This is incredibly sad. How can someone treat you this way a week after having his baby? Perhaps therapy would help.
If he isn’t helping you now he never will
If you can’t pay the bills there yourself I would try and see if you can stay with your parents
If you can take care of the house financially I would tell him to get out
When I had my c-section I don’t know what I would have done without my sister…she came over and mopped my floors for me…ill always remember her for that…my husband was off only 1 week…and if I hadn’t have had my family…I would have been in deep trouble…
You’re already hurting he sounds like a POS
You’re already hurt
Sounds like he maybe cheating? Do what’s best for you and your kids
You need to tell him to kiss your ass!!! You just gave birth to his child!!! And he is talking to you like that. No I wouldn’t put up with that. It’s gonna take time for u to heal. And he should be helping you. Not talking to you like that!!!
its beginning to look a lot like leave him
No one wants to be hurt, of course youd rather not deal with that emotional end of it. But its indefinite at this point and it’s going to continue to get worse and worse. Leave before it gets worse or he strays from the marriage and cheats. That will hurt a whole lot worse
If my husband ever treated me this way id be long gone✌
You are already hurt, and it’s not gonna get better. Don’t raise your baby in a loveless relationship, your child will be better for it! Do you have parents or a friend to go stay with for a few days, at least? I’d go without saying a damn word, and see how long it took him to notice!
You need to be resting and have him helping. If he’s not supporting you then I’d leave for a place where you’ll get some help. Having a csection isn’t easy especially when you’re not getting help with your newborn… get help momma and don’t stress yourself on stupid boys…
What u mean u don’t want to be hurt he already hurt u .Sorry he doesn’t sound like he is a father or husband or even respects u for what he said u can be a single mother so don’t be afraid to because sounds like UR going to be one anyways might as well make life a little easier for UR self and kick him to curb now he sounds in mature sorry I’m a mom and gram I’m forward because been there before and don’t waist UR life thinking u can change him course u can’t u deserve to be respected and not mentally or emotionly abused
I can’t stand men sometimes. So blind. Leave. Focus everything on baby. He will realize he was very very wrong once he’s alone.
Been there with 3 c-sections. if you have communicated that you need help and he still doesnt help then do what is best for you and the baby and get out. You deserve SOO much better. you are healing and you can over do it. thankfully i didn’t hurt myself while recovering from my c-sections but i knew there was that risk there everytime but i was stubborn and did far more then i should have due to my now ex not helping like he should have.
Get your baby and leave. You only need to see about your child’s and your health. He’s a loser. And not worth your heartache.
Break his phone. And his face. Not even kidding. You should be resting and bonding with the baby. I wouldn’t lift a finger to do shit for him. He sounds horrible.
Leave his ass. It’s gonna be hard at first but if you stay it will be worse
Sounds like he loves himself only
Get rid of him
Nothing is going to get better
I’m really sorry but hes a butt hole
I think you need time to heal so do not make any drastic decisions in your weakened state of health , mentally and physically . You need time to recover from having A baby . Go about your life being kind to yourself . Take care of your children as best as you can . Your strength and energy should return , but it takes time . Do not waste time in arguments with your husband . Realize he is not thinking clearly right now . Give it time and stop being hurt constantly. Focus on recovering from having a baby . You need whatever help he will give you at this time in your weakened state of health. You will know if your marriage can be saved or not in time. Meanwhile, if he is not violent , You need help at least until you get well. Prayers everyday to God in the name of Jesus will help you too.
U should Go. He’s an ass.
My advice to you (if you don’t want to feel like you just gave up) is for you guys to try and talk about it. If he doesn’t want to listen to you or change, he should leave. You and your baby don’t need that toxicity. What’s the point of being with someone who makes you feel and be like a single parent in the relationship? Based on what I’ve read, your husband sounds like a jerk and the relationship is VERY one sided with him. I hope you can do what’s best for you and the baby and please don’t let his negativity taint the memories of the beautiful miracle that you just brought into the world. His world should revolve around you two and it makes me sad it doesn’t. Best of luck to you, hun
Run, momma, run.
He sounds vindictive and emotionally draining. If he doesn’t want to help you when you’re recovering from having your body sliced open and stitched back up then he’s a loser who doesn’t deserve you.
Plus putting your worth in your appearance? Absolute scum.
He sounds like a vile person that you would be better off without.
Ur gonna be hurt regardless if you stay or leave. Do what’s best for you and your child! If you stay the hurt will last a life time. If you go it’ll only be temporary until u heal and move on!!
I think you already know your answer if you debating between the two
OMFG! He sounds like an awful person! You just had his baby and you had major surgery! Please go be with people that love you and will care for you momma!
That’s not a marriage anymore honey if you just had a baby you need to adjust hell my husband found me at my most beautiful when I was pregnant and after giving birth he was there every step of the way ya I did most things after my last was born 6 months because I felt ok I had a vaginal unmedicated birth have with all 4 so I knew what it’s like and my limits but my husband has always had my back and me his hell when he got attacked 6 months back when my youngest was 3 weeks old I protected him he still got a broken jaw and a small brain clot I saved him From getting hurt more and yes I was taking care of him in the months he been healing but he still took care of me and he didn’t let him having his face swollen and is wired shut from holding the kids holding me honestly I think you should leave it’s not worth the fight your baby needs more and better my older 2 ain’t my husbands I stayed single for a long time worked on myself and let myself heal and found someone so so much better who loves all the kids and me more than anything it hurt leaving my kids dad but it was the best thing iv ever done for me and my family
Sorry but he sounds like a POS… My husband didnt want me doing anything before and after my C-section… if he doesnt understand that this is major surgery then you dont need him… You need to take care of yourself at least for the first 2 weeks and even after that… If he doesnt care then you shouldnt either and leave… By the sounds of it hes already hurting you…
What a pos for a man. Im so sorry. I would leave his ass. Fuck him
What is it with these men just shitting on their wives? I hear it time and time again. Do men seriously think trying to be attractive after the birth of a baby is even on the priority list? It just blows my mind. If he can’t support you in your most vulnerable moments, then he never will. What will he do when you’re both old and grey and god forbid you’d have some sort of health issue and needed support and someone to care for you? Sounds like he wouldn’t be there for you. If not now, not ever
Start over…without him…he’s probably hooking up elsewhere…
You just had a baby. If he is that heartless and his phone is more important than pack you and baby up and leave. You deserve better. That’s awful I’m sorry he’s a POS
if you have that feeling deep inside that he does not love you you need to move on and he should appreciate you giving birth to his child and help you more a man should never tell a woman she’s unattractive especially the mother of his child
Sounds like you’re already hurt.
Leave and build a new beautiful life for you and that new sweet baby of yours!
You outta leave once your wound heals … had a cs session as well and my hubby was in charge of everything even if i insisted to help …
You need to leave! He is a narcissistic asshole that thinks the world revolves around his ass. He very well could be cheating on you. I would call a friend or family member that can come be with you or that you can stay with till you are fully healed up. Fuck him and his childish ass. Take that baby somewhere it will be loved and cared for right!
Honestly, take it easy do what you can & rest! You just had a baby & c-section. You need time to heal! If you’re husband doesn’t understand that, then that’s too bad. Tell him you just had your insides taken out & put back, you need your rest. Tell him he either needs to step TF up or Get TF out.
I’ve ALWAYS said, if you gotta do it all by yourself (while in a relationship), you’d be better off doing it by yourself without a relationship. You and that baby should be his world. He sounds like a selfish manchild.
Leave his sorry ass! He dosnt help you what’s the point of keeping him! Your already doing it all on your own! Hopefully you will have the help and support of your family.
Live your life as if he is not there. In everything you do don’t include him. Don’t cook for him, don’t do his laundry, and don’t make plans that include him. Don’t ask his permission for anything and don’t ask for his advise!
I’m in the same boat my boyfriend doesn’t help me with our son. Sleeps on the couch so he doesn’t get woken up by the baby or me getting up to feed him. Barely holds him throughout the day. When i leave for an hour and come back he’ll ask me if i wanna take over.
There’s a lot of comments on here & im not sure if you’ll even see half of them. But know you are BEAUTIFUL & YOU ARE STRONG & you made a major sacrifice risking your life having major surgery to deliver a healthy baby. My husband was the opposite when I had my c-section so I can’t relate to the pain your feeling. But NO “man” should ever make the mother of his child feel that way. If I was you I’d leave, and realize your self worth! Congratulations on that beautiful baby & I hope for a speedy recovery! Sending prayers & positivity!
Having a c section is a huge surgery how would he feel if you made him go to work a week after a huge surgery don’t push yourself I know people who did and there stitches broke open as far as him not finding you attractive he can shove it you just had his child it’s not about him this moment you can’t even have sex at this moment anyways so there no reason he should think your attractive and honestly I would look at his phone he might be talking to girl secretly and make sure you really investigate not saying he is but the way he’s always on his phone and then saying your not attractive makes me think he’s up to no good
Lift up ur shirt and say take responsibility. It took 2 of u too have a baby. U had surgery and he needs to stay off his phone when hes at home!
Take charge tell him this isnt a time for him to fail. He needs to get his big boy pants on and help
Does he still look good? Seriously after he said something so heartless and cruel. I’d look at him and be repulsed you just had a major surgery bringing his and your baby in to this world and he can treat someone (whose given him the best gift he will ever get) like absolute garbage !. He ,himself is utter trash and doesn’t deserve you. I’d never be able to look at my husband with respect and love if he ever said that to me. You really need to take a long look at your relationship honestly and with perspective show yourself love and not worry with him .he sounds selfish. I’d bide my time saving money behind his back to leave just saying
First of all you’re already being hurt and you will continue to get hurt until you put your feet down. Starting over or moving is never easy but right now no one else matters but your baby and you.
Girl GO!!! if those are his actions then sounds like you already know the truth deep down. You need to be happy with your new baby. Also congrats!
Go baby! Take your little and GO. Your husband should be building you up not tearing you down.
I hope you find the strength to leave. Your husband might be in the house, but it sounds like hes already left you.
He straight up told you he’s not into you anymore. Time to leave.
Hes a deadbeat. Drop him and see if any family can help you.
Reach out to your friends and family for support.
You will hurt so much less if you leave
Do u for ur kids and urself. Divorce his ass and get them coins sis. Now is not the time for him to be throwing hints that he kickin it with someone else… The door sis. The door. Let him know his stuff is outside!
Kick him to the curb. He’ll never change. Do you have family close by who could help you while you recover?
He’s no husband. He’s garbage.
He broke up with you already after saying that to you. Time for your exit strategy. Start preparing to be independent. Go find you a real man. Good luck lady.
Your husband should be taking care of you not tearing you down. Take care of yourself and baby and get out ASAP!
You need to leave him! Fuck him! I feel so bad for you because he has the nerve to say that shit after giving him a baby. My hubby took on everything after I had our son. He even cleaned up blood when I was trying to shower. I’m sorry you have to go through that. Kick his ass to the curb!!! You deserve so much more!
Oh man. You HAVE to be down for 2 weeks straight!!! That’s not okay. You will never heal! You had major surgery! You can’t even drive for 2 weeks. I am so sorry. I have had two of them and my husband took care of me while working as well. I am so sorry. I know the pain you are in. Emotionally and physically. I would suggest trying to stay with a family member. This is for sure one surgery you HAVE to give your self time to heal from. Or else it will never heal properly and it could hinder your ability to have kids in the future. Again I am so sorry. and as for your husband clearly he is a prick and doesn’t deserve you!
Leave his sss sounds like you’re already doin it by yourself you deserve better
Sounds like your husband already left you… its gonna hurt baby… just deal with it how you can and glow up hun
What a jackass definitely separate until you’re on your feet again & try to get counseling so you avoid postpartum depression. Your baby will need you to remain mentally stable.
Do you have family near by that you and the baby can stay with at least until you recover? Or even a good friend? If so, i would go. Doesn’t have to be anything permanent unless you want it to be, I was just thinking for a couple months until you are healed.
My ex treated me the exact same way and i left him when our daughter was 6 months old bcz I seen him physically abuse her over the video monitor that he didnt know was on. It’s been a very stressful 2 years after but I’m finally finding peace within myself and peace for my daughter
You are a beautiful Mummy
Having just had a baby, in pain, not enough sleep, is not the time to make big decisions. But it is the time to take care of you and your baby. If you have anyone who you can reach out to for help, now is the time. You can make big decisions later.
You just had major abdominal surgery. You need to heal. He needs to leave.
Leave when are you waiting for women don’t need to take that stuff anymore
A c section is major abdominal surgery. Stop doing anything except caring for you and the baby!
Oh sweetie. I’m so sorry u have to go through this after having a baby. Well it just comes right down to it. Pack up you and your baby and move on.good luck. God bless.
Please don’t listen to the people saying leave!
Mental health illnesses are running rampant. So many people aren’t being seen by a doctor. He has some type of “issue” bc CLEARLY he exhibits the behavior. Tell him he needs an evaluation. He has to help himself before anyone else. So to you… be strong Momma sometimes when we can’t find enough effort to hold it all together… we always end up finding it. You guys are a team… that’s why you got married. If he refuses… then address other solutions.
Ur already hurt honey, start planning ur getaway now! For ur baby if not 4 u…
Well of all the fucked up things I have fought with my husband about I can say that he did help me after giving birth all 3 times and if you’re wondering how much of an ass he is we’re currently not on talking terms because he thinks it’s ok for the dogs to sleep outside at night, last week it was 26 degrees, I think it’s currently in the low 40s during the day.
Go. Fuck him. Let em feel what he’s lost.
He most deff has a side bitch!
What do you mean you are staying with your husband? Seriously. Why would you want to be with him after not helping you, not having time for you and the baby, and talking to you this way??
Everyone here just says LEAVE. They don’t understand sometimes things are easy to say then done.
You can’t just pack yourself and leave. Think of your child. I can totally understand it can be hard. That doesn’t mean you should quit.
Have you thought of marriage counseling?
Leave. You don’t deserve that!
Another clear case of when women aren’t choosing their partner correctly and it ends up biting them in the butt.
Move on girl. Lifes top short to be giving two fucks about his ass.
I feel like you guys are running on sleep deprivation and just hanging in for dear life as most new parents are. Look up the effects of sleep deprivation and stress and you may understand your hubby’s inappropriate and mean comments. Try to be understanding as next time you may be the one to snap at him and say something awful. Marriage is hard. I wouldnt walk away over a comment. Watch to see how he copes with fatherhood and communicate. You guys probably have somethig worth fighting for and I wouldn’t walk away unless he was abusive as his character and not just his behavior this week.
Also, get out the house and go have coffee with your girlfriends and get your hair done. He needs to bond with baby and you need to remember you matter too
I’d be leaving … Do you have family that would take you and baby in while you heal ? Start saving up and move out . If your single while having him there you may as well be …
I would make him leave and he can also pay your house pmt and you and the baby need insurance, he can also give you grocery money, the list goes on. Tell him all this and maybe he won’t leave. But don’t you dare leave that house??..
I would have a hard time not taking something to his face and packing up and peace . BUT you just had a child and what not … I would say if he’s willing to try couples counselling I would give that a try. That way he can have shit explained to him also by someone else so it’s not just coming from you. I find sometimes men need a wake up call or to hear from someone else . There not the smartest! Women tend to think of everything and everyone … men not so much. But if he ain’t willing to try anything or listen to you at all then he clearly doesn’t care and I would focus my time and energy on healing, baby, and starting over and doing you! There’s many men out there who know how to treat women! Don’t be scared! Xoxo
The thing is it could change for you and good for the child if you left . Staying is not good for your health or personal wellbeing or the child
dont listen to the crazy’s saying leave, talk to him first and try work it out things out! its way to easy for ladies to just leave now a days then work on things!.
I’m sorry to hear this! I had a c section 2 months ago and I couldnt imagine doing everything myself! I would not tolerate it at all! I know you love him but I know the pain you are going through! I would talk to him first then go from there! It’s easier to walk away than to fix things. Be honest and go from there. It is not easy!