You are crazy if you let him take her anywhere! He sounds like a dead beat dad, I can’t see where your child gets any benefit from having him in her life! Can you not see that???
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If there is a court order (which it doesn’t sound like there is) I would 100% NOT allow it and cite those reasons.
If there is no order cite those reasons and tell him no. I would also get child support for her. It isn’t for you but her.
I’m confused at how she doesn’t know that’s her biological dad if you are allowing him to take her. Who does she think he is?
Either way I don’t blame you one bit for being apprehensive with your baby!
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It all depends on the legal arrangements that was made about custody. If you have full custody and he has visitation rites then it really depends on what his visitation allows. If the cruise is something that’s not allowed according to visitation rights that obviously you have a right to refuse. If when you guys got separated/ divorced and you share equal custody. It may be an issue. May not be able to stop him from taking her. You need to find out what the custody agreement is and go from there. You may end up having to get a lawyer and go to court. Good news is that you have a lot of time to do it. The bad news is it’s going to cost a pretty penny. I documented every piece of contact with my ex-husband who disappeared on me and my twins when they were just 2 years old. He was never around even before that he traveled more than he was home from work. Every phone call every visitation every contact no matter how big or small it was, I documented it on a big spreadsheet. Things like the fact that he chose not to keep them overnight on the occasions that he was allowed to cause visitation was always at his mom’s house and sometimes he would leave him there with his mom etc. And then the fact that he just stopped calling for visitations and stop showing up. He wanted to take him back to his house in a different state after they hadn’t seen him in a couple of years and I put my foot down and said no because they didn’t know him. When you protested I took him to court and it was denied. He wasn’t allowed to take them out of state. It was a hassle but I won. My kids were better off without him
Umm that would be a hard No!
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If he wants to take you to court let him. He won’t have a leg to stand with!
Do not let her go with him & protect her at all costs.
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R u crazy theres NO way I’d let her go
From a males point of view do NOT let him take her on that cruise you will regret it deeply
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If she thinks your husband is dad who does she think the visits are with when he does show up?
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Nope i wouldn’t be letting my kid go if that was happening
Definitely nooooooooooooooooo
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Nope! You do what you feel momma. To many bad things could happen. I know they can anyway but that’s asking for it.
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I’m really confused. So she doesn’t know the guy who picks her up and occasionally sees is her real dad? What do you tell her about who he is? A friend, uncle, or what? I’m really confused. So he visits occasionally and just takes her but she doesn’t know who he is? Idk about anyone else but that screams danger.
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Ima be honest, you’re out of your mind for even letting him come around. He is toxic to her and should remain OUT of her life completely.
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U are a confusing nut job …that poor child that’s the only one I feel sorry for
I would definitely not let her go, he’s not responsible enough to take a child onto a ship at sea. There are so many accidents that could happen while she’s out there, especially if he’s prone to not watching her. There is also a lot of stops where people can slip off with your child. I’m assuming from what you said that he’s never had her overnight. I hope this isn’t the case but it honestly sounds like something bad, I don’t understand why he would suddenly want to take her for that long. Too many red flags for me
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Your not crazy! Too many red flags!!
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You’re 100% in the right! My 7 year old sons sperm donor has never been around so I relate to you on that one. Don’t let your baby go with him, heck no.
You are not crazy, no cruise for him
Please don’t let ur daughter go on that or it be talked about with her to get her hopes up. You seriously need to contact the courts and figure out how to get limited visitations or supervised visits because as u pointed out a 7 yr old is smarter than him. He clearly doesn’t need to be around her if this is the case.
Let me get this straight??? 11:30am is when he is expected to swing by and pick her up? Is he working? And if it’s his day off does he by chance work night shift?
I would never be expected as a non custodial parent who works to show up on a Wednesday at 11:30am
People leave out so many details it’s not even funny.
Who in their right minds think that most people honestly explain both sides of the story in such matters.
If there is a court order then it is what it is unless you get it changed. And if not then why the hell not??? WTF!?!?
Again, so many pieces left out of this scenario/situation. You simply get one person’s usually biased perspective and then a bunch of overly sympathetic readers pile on… What is the reason the dad gives for showing up at 4:30pm??? Is there any actual perspective into this notion?
Also let’s not act like generally responsible or loving parents haven’t had their kids get lost or lost their kids in a store or amusement park etc etc etc. It happens all the time.
I’m not saying to let the child go or not let the child go. I am saying their is a natural self serving biased where only one side of things/a story or important factors or information is left out.
How many times has overnight been missed; one in 7 years or half or most???
Why??? Work schedule changed, illness, etc…
Again, if we are passing judgement for simple common parent mistakes etc then most of those on here would be guilty or don’t have children in the first place or haven’t been placed in such situations to begin with…
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As a parent consistency is key…if you cant show.up for.your kids then why should you show off for your kids…I’d tell him no I’m not comfortable with you taking her for a week…he can’t commit to.an overnight stay then what makes him think he can handle a week…no he needs to prove himself capable of caring for her…you would be right in not letting him take her…I wouldn’t…if it were my kids and their dad was like this I’d say no…
No way would I let him take her.
Absolutely not! He wouldn’t go ne where with my child Question though who does she think he is? She calls your husband dad and you said you haven’t had that talk with her! 
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He’s probably just got s*t rolling out his mouth. Just ignore and deal with it if it ever comes to fruition.
No, don’t let her go with him on a cruise if he’s that flaky and irresponsible. He would most likely at some point be in international waters and different laws apply.
Ok I am going to play a little devils advocate. Personal feelings aside. You gotta give him a chance. He’s her family as unfortunate as that is. Now am I saying pack her bags no but work with him. Christmas is almost a year away. Maybe see if he would be able to handle it. Let her go with him on spring break or some weeks in the summer. Let him prove he will be there and know what he is doing before a cruise. Also will other adults be with him? like is it a family cruise with his siblings and parents? I mean a cruise is a once in a life time experience at least for me I have always wanted to go on one and I would hate for someone to miss out on family time and a cruise because you felt they couldn’t handle it when they could. As she gets older she will see who is truly there for her and love the ones that support her
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No no no he lost her once and at sea sooo much could happy man… someone could grab her on the ship anything could happen …no I would NOT let my baby go
Depending what state your in, 6 months of abandonment (not make effort, seeing, or supporting financial) is grounds for TPR.
Having been through the same situation I’d say absolutely not!!! Not until he can show some responsibility at least but in my situation he never did and is actually sitting in prison for trafficking drugs until my now 12 yr old graduates college so you go with your gut like I did, the ONE time I heard about something sketchy which was he left her in the truck outside of a hotel and I didn’t find out until I took her to eat at cracker barrel one day and it happened to be right next door to said hotel and my then toddler says “daddy took me there one day” while pointing at the hotel, my heart dropped so I start asking questions like ohh wow was it fun? She says " no daddy left me in the truck and went inside with his friend " after that occasion it was supervised visitation…I don’t play about my kids and us mother’s are given a gut instinct for a reason ALWAYS FOLLOW THAT INSTINCT!!! IVE NEVER NOT ONE TIME BEEN WRONG ABOUT MY INSTINCT…if it feels wrong it probably is!
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You are not crazy at all.
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I’m confused as well. If she calls the husband Dad. Who is this man to her. She probably wonders why you are sending her with him. I definitely wouldn’t let her oo on the cruise. I wouldn’t even let her go with him at all.
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NOPE!!! Do not let him take that baby.
…honestly, he will flake. No way in hell he will go through with it.
I wpuldnt let him take her. Im not a bitter mama like that. I believe kids should have their time with their dad. But i would be terrified just because its a whole week on the ocean! He needs to show you that he can be more responsible with her before he takes her on that. Have a sit down talk with him.
I’m confused. Why is she visiting a man she doesn’t even know is her dad.
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Wow. I find it real easy to say “hell no”. And you don’t have to explain why. As parents we are 
% responsible to keep our kids safe.
If she doesn’t know she has a different father; who dies she think this man is who she is waiting to get picked up by?
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please don’t let him take her on that cruise 
You are not crazy, I would not let him take her.
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I wouldnt…she has no idea who he is, or that he even exists…so he wants her to suddenly learn about him and then be alone with him for several days? No. That poor baby would be so confused. My ex would do the exact same thing. Not see or talk to her for years then want to be alone with her for an extended time. You can’t pick and choose when you want to parent. If he wants to be in your child’s life, really and truly, then he needs to be introduced slowly and over time. You’re not crazy for seeing giant red flags.
On another topic, you really do need to let her know she has a different biological father than the man she knows.
I would say no. He isn’t responsible enough.
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I would never allow it, that’s crazy!!!
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I have never seen so many women so clueless about men and then you wonder what happened to them being a parent. Shameful
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Why does she think she is going with him when you say she doesn’t know that he is her bio dad?
I wouldn’t let her go. Maybe after more trust is built up.
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I would not allow it
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Take him to court for child support, that should cure the situation
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He got someone he trying to impress? Why a cruise, why now… That’s weird… big no unless he really steps his game up and shows up for her and is consistent before then. Christmas is a long way off. 
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So if she doesn’t know he’s her dad… Who does she think he is?
But to the question… no freaking way should he be allowed to take her anywhere. Especially on a gigantic boat in the middle of an ocean.
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Noooooooooooo that’s a definite no
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He cannot afford a cruise or a vacation as he is in arrears on support. Get that established.
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He does not have enough consistency, or visitation currently to be able to take her anywhere for extended periods of time. Don’t grant him the luxury of increased time until he has earned it, or the court orders it.
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Most, not all, but most cruises would require a passport which both parents would have to sign the application- don’t do it.
Start there.
P.s- tell her who the people in her life really are.
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So if she doesn’t know this guy is her biological father who does she think he is? Why would you allow her to go on a cruise with him if she doesn’t know. If something were to happen and they asked her if that was her father/daddy, she would say “No” and it could cause a lot of issues for him, her and you. Tell her the truth and tell him “No”. Children are a lifetime responsibility, not a convenience when you feel like “playing parent”.
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Okay, I’m a little confused. The poster stated her daughter doesn’t know that she has a different bio dad, but he seems to be somewhat in the picture. So, who does your daughter think this man is to her? Am I missing something?
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You ARE NOT CRAZY! Clearly he doesn’t care about her, and lord heaven forbid she gets on that cruise and he gets trashed and leaves her. She doesn’t really know him all that well so I don’t think he deserves it.
Nope not a good idea AT ALL!!!
Based on his history this is probably a pipe dream. More than likely will just fall through… don’t even worry about it
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Ya no way would I allow that. Take me to court, start paying for the child you helped me make, and maybe show up when your supposed to, for a consistent period of time, and then I’ll consider it, maybe!
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Hell no I wouldn’t let her go.
- tell her who the heck he is. 2. No child support-put his arse in jail. 3. What’s to keep him from using this as a way to take her away and never return her (she would be in a foreign country. 4. Just say NO and nix his stupidity right now. Then get a lawyer and take him back to court and try for full custody and cut him out of the picture completely.
I’m confused. Said she doesn’t know your husband isn’t her dad yet says she called bio dad and he showed up late for visitation. Who does she think this man she went on a visit with is? And no, there’s no way I’d let him take her on a cruise. Not with how irresponsible he’s been. Not just by losing her but by him not following through with his responsibilities as a parent.
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Who does she think is picking her up? That is strange.
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I’m stuck on her not knowing her bio dad but he’s picking her up ? Either way I would be going to court if he tries anything
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No way, I wouldn’t let my little girl go with him if I was you.
Nope. Not crazy at all.
I think you are a wonderful Mom
Don’t do it… I’d be afraid of him throwing her overboard to avoid child support… Sounds crazy but ppl are crazy & he is to distant to trust…
Your not crazy if you feel she’s not safe
I wouldn’t let her go
Come on now…you know the answer to this question. Would you let your child go away with some strange man you met a month ago ….same difference. He is basically a stranger to both of you with the amount of time he’s been around. I wouldn’t even let her spend the night with him at this point. She definitely needs to know the truth about his relationship to her. My husband and I explained to my grandson, whom we were raising at that age (6) that we were not his biological parents, my daughter was, by making him a little book telling our story and drawing pictures along the way. Halfway through the story he understood what we were telling him. He still wanted to call us mom and dad after that but he knew the truth. If you wait too long to tell her she will either hear it from him first or someone else which is not good. Being truthful with her is the only way. As far as crazy…you’re only crazy if you let her go 
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You’re not crazy! Do not let him just take her! There is not established custody agreement and he would definitely need to build up to that especially since he shows no responsibility. This is your baby we’re talking about please protect her!
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Nope given his track record take it to court, document all the late and no shows, ask the judge to grant him visitation in the town only.
You know… some stories just don’t make sense
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So my grandparents did this to me about not telling me the woman I was staying with was my mom but I did know the three girls with her were my sisters and finally at 12 I figured out she was my mom and I started asking questions and was extremely hurt and confused about everything even though they explained it to me from their side and she explained it from hers. And I was deeply hurt and acted out because of it for awhile and to this day I’ve accepted it but in the back of my mind I’m bothered by it especially since having my own kids. Just food for thought since you said she was mature. On the cruise HELL NO. You don’t get to do whatever’s convenient for you, show up whenever and then expect to take her for a week when your the one who raises her. I would keep every text message and proof that he isn’t doing his part of working with you to get the privilege.
You message is all over the place. Your child doesn’t know she has a biological father but she calls him he is late!! I’m confused??? But NO he would not be taking her!!!
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He’s already lost her once before. Imagine if he lost her at a dock somewhere?! You are absolutely NOT crazy for this
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He can’t take her on a cruise especially with no passport unless you both sign for the child’s passport. Soooo…. Don’t sign ijs. And also no. Hell no.
You’re not crazy! No way would he take my child
So your daughter goes with this man but does not know he is her father -----WHO DOES SHE THINK HE IS ??? your story does not make sense , I certainly would not allow her to go with him .
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No don’t do it I would not allow it at all
He is not fit to be taking your baby anywhere like that without you. Listen to your gut, it is never wrong.
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If she doesnt know who her real dad is then who does she think this man is
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I wouldn’t let her go
Do t let her go…nope never…
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Don’t do it or allow him
This should be an easy answer. NO!
Go to court and don’t let him see her . She already has a daddy.
You’re not crazy. His expectations are out of line. Do you have full custody? You might want to check with your lawyer to see if you can give him supervised visitation only. He’s too irresponsible.
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No girl you ain’t crazy. And I would not let him take her. I’m a mama of 4, don’t know you or child. But, my gut, heart and mind are screaming nooooooo.
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You’re not crazy! Ain’t no way she would be going anywhere off like that with him
So like if she doesn’t even know who her biological dad is… then who does she think this man is rolling up at 4pm to get her for 6 hours??
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You are absolutely not crazy!!!
Until she is old enough to travel alone, I wouldn’t let her.
Nope. Do not let him take her anywhere.
No he would not be taking her anywhere
Don’t get her vaccinated and she won’t be able to go on any cruises problem solved covid-19 to your rescue girlfriend
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No way are You crazy . No to that cruise.
Oh Lord no don’t let that child out of your sight with him trafficking is too big of a thing
Can he even afford a cruise? And if so, what are you going to do when he loses her on the ship, or a stopover somewhere? If she had to get help before, it’s hard telling who will help her on this cruise! And God forbid, she get in the wrong hands! Have you even thought about this at all? I doubt it, or you wouldn’t be asking questions as to what you should do. I can’t imagine being 7 or 8 years old, and being sent off on a cruise with a man I don’t even know that well! Are you crazy?? NO, don’t send her on a cruise! With anyone, unless you’re going too!
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A thousand times NO. Do not let your child go with this irresponsible boy. Imo he shouldn’t even be allowed to disrupt her life. He is worthless and you’ve been way too kind to him. When he ditched you guys, he did you the biggest favor.
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I’d be working on removing his rights all together. He obviously doesn’t want to be a dad, and I feel like he’s a danger to her.
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I wouldnt let her go but if she doesn’t know she has a bio father who does she think this guy is?
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Too many details left out and only one side of the story. Makes me wonder if bio dad doesn’t come around because mom makes it hard for him with trying to portray step dad as her dad
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