I just want others points of view from the outside

Your child has a dad, your husband. This other guy, bio-dad, well, no good can come from that. A cruise?! A week?! No & no.

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Nope. He’s not stable and his history proves he’s not capable

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I wouldn’t allow him to take the child if I were u. If she already got lost I’d be so afraid something worse would happen being on a cruise !

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No way would I allow that

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I would never allow him to take her for more than a day…be smart.

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If you have to ask a group of strangers whether this man is safe or not the answer is no. She’s a human life. There’s no do overs. It’s your job to protect her whether people agree or not. Do what you know in your heart and gut is the right thing to do.

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Not crazy, but he is. I would never trust him for that period, especially with her being so young, I would not let her go, unless I accompanied her on that type of trip, if you agree to her going without yoiu, then you are the crazy person !

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You’re not crazy, he’s the nutcase. You would be crazy if you were to allow your child to go with him for any length of time…Take this issue to court and only allow supervised visits. Get on it right away.

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Yes you’re right. He’s out his minds

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Nope… You are NOT crazy! DO NOT LET HER GO!!

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Hell to the fucking no! Can’t even show up for her or do more than 6hrs but wants a week with her on a cruise ship?! Firm no from me - from one single mother to another you know the answer in your gut, you aren’t crazy!

HELL NOO!! He isn’t stable at all, he could kidnap your daughter! He hasn’t paid any attention or put much effort in seeing your daughter and all of a sudden he wants to take her on a week long cruise to play best dad so your daughter will think he’s awesome no way.

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A week is to long for a absentee dad to take a child for.
I would wonder what he was really up to.

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Who does she think he is if she thinks your husband is her bio dad?

If you don’t have legal custody drawn up in a court order he gets nothing until files for it.

If you have legal court ordered custody & visitation then you need to take him to court & point out all these inconsistencies. Get a lawyer!!! Ask for it to be put in the order that if he’s 15 minutes late he forfeits the visit. 3 missed visits in a year cancels his right to see her. I’d ask for supervised visits since there’s a safety risk but he’s to be present & be the primary caregiver (to show that he’s capable) before it goes further. There’s no way H*LL he’d be taking my child any where.

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Only if he pays for you & step dad to go on the cruise with him. So that’s a no. Think about the little girl who fell out the window on the cruise ship even with her supposedly responsible grandfather right there.

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Your not crazy. My sons father is exactly the same. I refused to let him take our son on holiday to Devon until his mum rang me to say it was a family holiday and that there would be plenty of adults to take care of my son! Even then I only let him go because one of my exs cousins who was going worked in child care.

Doesn’t pay child support yet goes on cruises?

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I am confused if she doesn’t know she has a different bio dad then who does she think he is? Aside from that no I don’t think you are crazy I wouldn’t be comfortable with it at all.

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You are not crazy! Follow your instincts on this.

Also, is he seeing a new lady and trying to show her what a “good dad” he is and so she can “play mommy”? Big NO. What happens to the daughter when they want to have sex?

And again, who’s paying for the cruise? If it’s him, he owes a ton of child support instead. BTW, I’d be sure there’s a court ordered custody agreement in place, and you report non-payment of child support if he has a job or other income. Garnish his wages. If you don’t need the money put it in an investment account or 529 plan for her when she graduates.

Keep meticulous records of calls, visits, lateness and no-shows or evidence of poor decisions (like losing your child), as well as any payments or lack thereof. Then you’ll have leverage if you want to go to court for full physical custody, back payments, abandonment or supervised visits in the future.

Does your ex have ADHD? That can mess up a person’s sense of time, & distractions can derail everything. Maybe you or he can set multiple alarms on his phone when he’s supposed to spend time with her. I have ADHD and my friends say I’d be late for my own funeral! :smile: Post-it notes, multiple alarms, and my friends calling with reminders helps me a lot.

Does your daughter have any relationship with his family? If grandma, grandpa and auntie will be looking after her on the cruise I might feel differently if you know them all and they are highly responsible.if they are as flakey as he is, or if there is only one other responsible person, then nope.

She needs to be told but as far as. Going on a cruise NO WAY!

Zero chance I would allow this to happen. He would have to establish a relationship with a solid foundation first before traveling anywhere

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How does she not know he’s her real dad if he picks her up for visitation

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No support…not constantly in life with the child? Nope…sorry…obviously he is not responsible any other time…why now?

Your not crazy as long as you don’t let her go he may not bring her back

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If it were my shoes, it would be over my dead body.

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Nah you ain’t crazy. Hes the nut job for even thinking this was going to be okay.

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Almost 7 and goes with a man but doesn’t know he is her father? Who is he to her then?

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This does not make much since to me

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Tell the judge about this

No way I would let my child go

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Im lost…if she doesnt know your husband is not her biological father…who does she think her biological donor is…a random person? No on the cruise. She would be better off not knowing him at all… nothing like the first man to break your heart is…your father.

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if she thinks your husband is her dad then who does she think the bio dad is ? just some random dude that mom lets visit ? makes no sense

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You need to go to court to get an order that he cannot take her out of the state and yes it can be done

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I wouldn’t let my child go anywhere with him especially on a cruise. U don’t know what kind of evil he has on his mind me. He can be planning to cause terrible harm to her while out n the middle of the ocean/sea. After all he’s a stranger to her and doesn’t love or care about her which he’s shown time n time again. I’ve seen too much happening to ppl that go on cruises with so called ppl that supposed love them and too many movies​:bangbang: Big Red Flag​:bangbang: :triangular_flag_on_post: :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post: NO WAY​:bangbang:

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Absofuckinglutly don’t let her go

You are not crazy. My kiddo wouldn’t be going with someone like that.

I’m a little confused how she doesn’t know that the man who comes to get her isn’t her bio dad.

But aside from that…
HELL NO, you are not crazy! She don’t need to go with him ANYWHERE.

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You already know the answer to your question

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Big nope, ur feelings are valid

Hale no that’s not happening.

I wouldn’t but it depends on your court order.
And if you don’t have one, get one.
We had a stipulation that if you are more than 30 mons late, the visit is forfeited until the next time. Unless it’s an actual emergency.

If you don’t have a parenting plan he could legally kidnap your baby. Do NOT let him take her anywhere ever again unless he wants to go through the court system and spend his own funds to process and pursue his rights.

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There would be no way in HELL I would let him take her. If he even shows up to take her that is.

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Are you court ordered to let him see her? Take him to court and have all of his rights revoked. I don’t think I trust him

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This made my head hurt

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I mean while I don’t think you’re crazy and I don’t think that he should take her, but at the same time. Have you asked what your daughter wants?

Why has the original poster not replied to the questions on who the child thinks this guy is if she isn’t aware that it’s her biological father? :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Celina Caron he can’t legally kidnap the child if they aren’t married. I’ve been through this. It may be different in other states, but from what I’ve been through without custody papers when still married, the other parent can legally take the child and not give the child back until papers are in place. She isn’t married to this man and it sounds like they have papers in place. If they don’t have any, then she has full rights.

My son knows his dad as Uncle, long story, if he showed up to take him on holidays I would happily let him go

Unpopular oppinion, Seems like there might be to sides to this Story. Seems like he’s trying but your not willing to even tell your kid the truth. She must be so confused. Poor kid.

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No you’re not crazy … do not let her go with him that is too dangerous. He needs to build up to something like that… being consistent and responsible

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If there’s a custody or visitation orders in place, he legally can’t without a written request anyway. I’d you don’t have anything filed, I would make that a priority.

Excuse me? He LOST her!? And now contemplating a cruise? Madness.

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I wouldn’t let her go.

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Can we talk about the bigger issue here that your husband does not know that your child has another father? Like the person you are living with right? How do you manage that? Dont you think that bio dad might know this and be acting petty to get back at you for not telling him? Just a thought…

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Not a chance he’s taking my child

Oh hell no!!! Over my dead body my child would be going. Your not crazy at all!!!

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I agree. I wouldn’t be comfortable with that long. He needs to work up to it. Sounds like you don’t “keep” her from him. Sounds like he just picks and chooses when he wants to be a dad.

I wouldn’t let her go with him but if she’s going with him sometimes who are you telling her she’s going with ? Regardless of how flaky he is she is still his daughter and I’d be telling her the truth :woman_shrugging:t4: I’ve been open and honest with my son about his dad he calls his stepdad dad out of choice and his bio dad hasn’t been around in year.

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Yes you are crazy if you let her go…

Am I reading this right your child thinks your husband is her father… Who does she think this other man is when he comes to pick her up? :thinking:

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Nope , he is not getting her!

That’s a no a huge no. Idc if he is her dad he needs to show he is responsible and ready to be a dad. He needs to put her first before anything and needs to get it together

So, has he not shown up at all or shows up late…? You’re contracting yourself

Who does your 7 yr old child think she’s spending time with, if not her father :roll_eyes::woman_facepalming:t4::face_with_raised_eyebrow::thinking:

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The whole post is crazy.

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I would get full custody and not let him do Christmas. You said he lost her once? That’s fucked up. No way he should get her for a cruise

Oh hell no!!! Do not let her go with him!!!

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Who does she think she’s calling? A friend? An uncle? You have to be honest. You are creating trust issues between you and your kid…. Tell her the truth. She isn’t stupid, she deserves to know what’s going on. The world isn’t a sheltered place and you’re crippling her emotions at a young age.

I would not let her go

You are crazy if you let him take her on that cruise!!!

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Fuck that he not intrested in child he trying to be with you

Just say his little girl keeps having spells of the runs and you don’t think it’s wise to go on a trip but it’s very nice he thought of her and is trying