You are staying in their home. If you want the rules to change, move out
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Simple solution. Get your own place. Their house, their rules. Your house, your rules. Take your pick.
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So you live with your parents with 4 kids and are complaining about small things that they do? Sounds a little ungrateful to me. Move out of your parents house then you can be as strict with food and phones as you want
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Assert your independence… move out! If you can’t just yet then quit your bitching, be thankful your not homeless with starving kids… kids will adapt when your independent again.
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Why are you living in their home due to landlord issues? Find a new place and a new landlord. If you are there because you can’t afford a place, sorry, then you shouldn’t be having more children while living there. Part of grandparents job is to spoil their grandkids, yet they should also respect your parenting. If this is your husband’s parents, then he needs to address the issue with them.
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I’m a firm believer if that isn’t your house you don’t really have a say in how it is run!!! If gramma and gramma wanna do it then can and will!!! If you don’t like it it’s time to move out and then you can parent them yourself but as long as you need to live under their roof you can’t really say much
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You have a 2 year old with a phone??? There’s part of your problem!! Now to the part where you’re living in their home. Just wow!!!
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Save and MOVE. They don’t have any respect for you as those kids patents .Your husband should be on your side
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Their house, their rules. When you have your own place, you can make your own rules.
Take the electronics and kids with you so you will not have problems.
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Where’s you husband? He should be taking care of his family or keep his punishment in his pants
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Move out and bring routine back into your childrens lives
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It’s their house their rules. Her story is so wishy-washy…Best advise is get your priorities straight and get TF out.
Move out! It’s their house and you will not have control until you move. Trust me.
Set the phones to sleep mode at certain times and put them away in your room.
I’m confused about milk… It’s good for their calcium levels or,are you talking milkshakes?
Juice can be given at meal times and water throughout the day. Milk shouldn’t be diluted. It should be drank at breakfast and after supper.
I think they should be able to spoil their grandchildren but another mouth to feed and cater for does take away from a deposit on your own home. I’d have understood more if you were already pregnant but you’d been there 8 months prior.
Your 2 year olds teeth are not because of the drinks they’re given. My daughter is 7 and has never had a cavity. My youngest is 4 and he’s never had a cavity. My daughter has never been good with drinking water. Both of them get a cup of milk at bedtime and I really don’t stop them from drinking whatever. I don’t allow caffeine but otherwise it’s whatever. A toothbrush and some toothpaste goes a long way… Also, where are you when your kids are given this stuff? Why aren’t YOU with your kids? If you don’t like how they care for them then do it yourself. Little kids are a lot for older people. Giving them a tablet or phone to watch some videos will keep them calm for a few minutes so they don’t have to chase them. Where are you when they “seem to unlock the phone at night”? What the heck are panda eyes? Dark circles? I really don’t think the inlaws are to blame for the mess. Your obvious lack of parenting is. If you don’t like it move, or raise your kids yourself! My 12 year old has gone days without sleep because he has a disorder and never had “panda eyes”. Malnourished children or children who cry all the time have panda eyes…
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Move out. That’s only way to stop it.
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Change passwords to unlock electronics. It would help if your hunny backed you up in those discussions too.
Take the younger kids electronics at bed time you give your children the milk,juice cups don’t allow the in laws to do it as for soda take the bottle from your child or check your children’s cup before they drink from them your their mother put your foot down and if the in laws don’t like it then maybe it’s time you left since it’s been a year and a half
How about you find a new landlord. Let your inlaws have their space back.
move out and why does a 5 year old and a 2 year old have a phone that is insane and for you to allow it means you are an idiot
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Ummm maybe move! They raised kids, grand-parenting is supposed to be fun!
Move they are sick of being bossed in their home.Screw it then Grandma.
Maybe if you wernt paying for a phone for a 2 and 5 y.o you could have afforded your own place, with your own rules by now.
There was no mention of the spouse talking to their parents. I would start there.
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Its time to grow up and move out. No other choice.
Download “Family Link” from play store. It has a bedtime function that blocks the devices between the times that you set.
So take the electronics away…As for food and drink maybe have portions already for the day in zippy cups, food storage containers.
Are you not around when this happens?
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What do you expect living in their house? Get your own place.
Why are you not responding to any of the messages ?
You ask for advice an don’t answer any of the comments.
As long as you have some need to live with anyone else, you need to quit having babies…are the grandparents babysitting, does mom work? I need more info
Do you pay rent? Do those parents b sit for you?
You are placing blame on the wrong person.
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Move out. It’ll only get worse. They clearly don’t respect you.
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Oh Lordy Lordy Lordy imagine what her in laws would have to say in a reply post of their own now thaaaat would be interesting , very interesting.
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Go find a place of your own where you can implement your rules strictly, problem solve.
All I can say is try and move as fast as you can it’s her house her rules always
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Hmm. Move out! Issue solved.
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If they don’t respect your wishes then they don’t deserve to be in their lives.
Exactly. Need to find your own place.
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Good luck, been there won’t Ever change no matter how many times you talk to em
You said u have lived there already over a year. Get your shi# together and move out.
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Can ur partner have a word with his parents
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Get your own house!!! Good lord all these people living with parents/ inlaws… Get out!!!
Either move out or respect their house rules too…it is their house after all and cavities on baby teeth are very common they loose them anyway so a little here and there wont hurt…come to a compromise your all adults and if you can compromise then find your own place
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It’s THIER house, you don’t like what they do… get YOUR HOUSE then it can be your rules
Your best bet is to move but I understand the difficulties of that, especially now. For people being rude about her situation, keep in mind that the rental market is very difficult right now. People aren’t getting evicted in some states and people aren’t as willing to rent with that no eviction order in place. Prior to covid you still don’t know the whole situation so before you snap about irresponsibility and ungratefulness, remeber that you don’t know the full situation, and its not your right to.
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You can stop this immediately. Move out!
Change the password to unlock and don’t tell them
You are allowing it by staying there.
Grandparents are for spoiling grand kids!
Maybe all the adults can sit down and come up with rules together… and write them down and hang them on the wall for everyone to read. Everyone does things their own way and yes living with people it’s hard to control everything but the kids need consistency from all of the adults in their lives
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Take care of your business. Raise your own kids. Problem solved.
I’d get a lock box or something & lock the phones away…
Simply go back and unplug the phone and put it away.
I didn’t read all of the comments, but…what I did read, I can’t believe people feel this way.
Yes, you are living in their home and you do have to follow their rules, but…that’s things like: take your shoes off, help with dishes, take care of your belongings. However, she raised her children, and when she did, I’m sure she didn’t like being told what to do with them.
If my Mom didn’t follow my rules with my child, she wouldn’t be left alone with them. That’s for damn sure.
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Time to get your own place!
Time to find a new place to live.
Wow some of you just let people say and do whatever with your kids huh. I had this problem before with my husband losing his job and needed somwhere to stay until he found another one and my in laws thought they can say and do whatever they want with my children. I did whatever they asked me and i helped around and then later started helping with rent. But my kids are mine to say what they have and can do no matter who i live with. Just because your under their roof doesnt mean they get control over your kids.
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It’s past time to move out
Why do they have access to phones? That’s just ridiculous.
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It’s time to move…
If you don’t want interference from grandparents- move out. Grandparents should have boundaries but don’t bc thats just what grandparents do; they spoil grandkids. Get your own place.
This seems like a responsibility issue… you have 4 children and live with your parents. I’m sure these issues are because your parent’s are left to be responsible for the children. Where are you when they are putting your child to bed with a beverage other than water and on letting them be on phones? I’m guessing they are tired and overwhelmed and just trying to get by and still live their own lives as people who already raised their kids. Take responsibility for your own kids and you won’t have to worry about other people parenting them wrong.
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I was 17 and 19 when I had my kids. I was lucky enough to have my parents help in the early years before I could afford a place for us. My mom gave me too much of her opinion, BUT SHE PUT A ROOF OVER MY KIDS HEADS. How can you complain when you are in this position? When I was able to move out, it was nice to parent my own way but man did I miss the security of not wondering how I’d pay rent. Count your blessings and be grateful for them. You could very well be on the streets.
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You have 4 kids in your in laws house. Its been a year and a half. I can understand a few months of being there in between jobs/house hunting, but now a year and a half?? Do you work during the day? Is grandma primary care taker? Do you pay them to live there?
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You have 4 kids, live under their roof, & complain about them. Maybe use birth control before you pop out #5 & find your own place then you can parent your own kids alone.
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Imagine being the In-laws and in the last 18 months your child and his wife and 3 kids moved in and then decided to get pregnant again why still living with you. I am sure they are just trying to keep everyone happy how ever they can. They are doing what every grandparent does, spoiling but they just have to do it 24/7 and pay the bills… I think maybe a sit down to have some rules set in place and everyone agree to them because it’s really their house and their rules so maybe if everyone together could agree what best for the kids and stick to it…
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First off you obviously dont know what your talking about,Panda eyes occurs when a child is sexually sodomized and blood vessels burst around their eyes causing two black eyes, not from watching electronics at night . Second why do your 2 and 5 yr olds have phones? Third no matter how much milk,juice,or soda was being put into their cup , they wouldn’t need caps if they were brushing their teeth in the morning and before bed. It’s one thing if they are watching the kids occasionally but sounds like you are leaving the parenting to the grandparents and complaining about the outcome. Move out and you won’t have anything to complain about 
Yup their house their rules. Dont like it move. Poof problem solved!
Her house, her rules.
Put your foot down, stand your ground and remind them YOU are the mother and they need to back off and stfu 
leave as soon as possible and tell them you’re limiting their time with them because they undermine you, teaching your children disrespect and you ain’t having it. They’ll either change their tune real quick or just won’t be a big part of their life anymore. My MIL tries this bullshit and I got no problem telling her I’m the parent and what I say goes
Move out!!!
Straight up tell them they need to listen or the moment you get back on your feet their time with them will be limited. Who The Fuck gives a two year old POP!? Jesus lord mama I am so sorry. For now hide electronics or take them away and double check sippy cups. I only have one and he’s also two but regardless you’re mama they’re YOUR children and you know what’s best
Perfect solution…Move the fuck out !
Time to move on!
Put the money your spending on their electronics and phones (your 2 year old has a phone! REALLY) for your living expenses.
Live within your means and definately prioritize!
I’m just glad you had somewhere to go, lots of homeless adults and children in foster care 
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Your kids eyes are being effected and another kids teeth are rotting because of them?? That’s brutal. Take those phones away!! Give back in the morning if you choose! The rotting teeth is something your husband and you need to speak to them about. Arrange for only either of you is allowed to give sugar to kids. But you need to get out of there! Figure out anything else you can but move out!
Where are you when these things are happening? If you want complete control, then you need to move out on your own
Your husband needs to speak to them or you and your family need to move out.
4 kids and you’re still at your parent’s house? If you want your own decisions, own space, and rules, move out. It’ll be hard but worth it. You can’t complain since it’s their house and you seem to be away all the time for them to do all the things you dont like.
They should respect you as the mother and not disregard your your wishes. Thats wrong of them. But you also need to move out honestly. They have rules in their own house as well and if their rules arent something you agree in, its time for your own place where you make your own rules.
Get your own place. Problem solved
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You can take the electronics and put them in your purse and sleep with it under your pillow. I’ve had to do that a few times before. I’ve also been petty enough to just take and toss sodas and juices out when people didn’t listen. Leaving only enough for one or two sippy cups worth. But you definitely need your own place
Get out of THEIR house. Simple as that
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For everyone saying move out! Does she have a job that’s 5x the rent amount and a credit score of 700+ that’s what it takes in the state I’m in 
I’ve got $15000 saved and can’t find shit!
Get your own place, a year in a half is a long time to live under their roof. Its their home and they are grandparents what did you think would happen. Talk all you want but it is their home and they are grandparents. You have no right to even try to control anything going on in their home…you need to move.
Cut them off them. Its rude and disrespectful and confuses children
Landlord issues? You mean you got evicted, I’m sure. You feel responsible enough to make 4 babies, but you’re not responsible enough to pay your bills? Sounds like you need to reevaluate your life choices, fix your irresponsible mistakes, and be a real parent to your children. You are the one setting a bad example for your kids by not handling your own financial business.
Your in laws are sending you a silent message 
- They mean GET YOUR OWN SPACE WHERE YOUR RULES WILL HOLD!
If you plan on staying with your in laws then you need to make the rules clear and get creative about enforcing them with your in laws. Take the phones and put them somewhere they can’t get them. You need to stand your ground and be firm.
Idk if your partner is with you but maybe he also need to have a conversation with his/her parents about the rules you all have set for your children. If you can’t reach an agreement then you all need to move out.
You live in their home. Unless they are watching the children during the day while you’re at work then it is your responsibility to make sure that your kids aren’t eating/drinking junk all day and are not glued to electronics all day. There is an easy way to solve that- take the electronics away from them. Problem solved. You can’t blame their grandparents for poor dental hygiene or anything else if you are present in the home. They are your kids. Take charge of them. Make moving a priority. Bringing another child into someone else’s home isn’t really fair to your in-laws. They’re helping you. Don’t take advantage of it though.
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Why is the husband not even mentioned? Is he/she not helpful? Doesn’t care? Put your foot down or move out.
Wow. First, living with in-laws for 1 1/2 yrs. is not recently moving in. That just set the tone for the rest of the letter. Blaming the in-laws for the kids bad habits is the second indication that you are defecting. This means that you are the problem, but is looking to blame others. Be grateful you have a roof over yours and your kids head. You should thank your in-laws for that. Also, 2 yr. old and 5 year old have their own phones? Another thing told me that this is about you and not the kids is your wording of being able to control your 11 year old. You can only control the choices you make. You and your husband chose to move in with the in-laws, the other choice was to find somewhere else to live. You need to remember that your family has interrupted your in-laws life. Your negative tone toward your in-laws have set you up for negative feedback. Check yourself.
They are your kids and your in-laws should respect your parenting choices regardless of if it’s their house or not. Just because they allow you to live there doesn’t mean they can do whatever they want with your kids. You are allowed to set boundaries. Get your husband on board and have him talk to them privately. Hopefully you’ll be able to get your own place soon- but people struggle for all sorts of reasons so allow yourself some grace.
Their only crime seems to be that they are kind loving grandparents.
How come every single person is assuming she moved in because she is “lazy”? We don’t know where she lives, a lot of places will “blacklist” you from renting for a year and you cant find a new place because you have been black listed. Then corona virus came to town making everything difficult. It’s hard to find places to live or good jobs. For all we know both her and her husband work which is why she’s having the issues she is having. Shame on all of yoy for judging her because id the circumstances she is currently in. Shame in you for judging her for having a new baby we all know contraceptives are not 100% how about we show a little compassion and stop being so judgey. And yes the grandparents in this are 100% wrong. Those children are her children and what and what she says should be law. Undermining the children’s parents is not good for the kids because it teaches them that they don’t have to listen to authority which makes them disrespectful trouble maker thugs.
Sounds like it’s time for you to gwt your own place
You might need to find a place of your own soon er