I looked at my husbands search history and I'm sick

My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years now. We have 3 teenage children.

The past few weeks my husband was acting really off. So after some time passes and the feeling staying, I decided to look at his browsing history.
Big mistake.
I found out that not only is he searching for locals to hook up with, but he’s joined apps etc.
We have a zero tolerance policy for this kind of behavior, which he clearly knows and asked the same of me… and yet, here we are…
What do I do?
He’s got all of the signs that he is actively cheating… including searching and joining sites, while he was sitting across from me, on our anniversary a week ago.
The no duh thing is to leave. But I can’t.
I have been a stay at home mom for 18 years so we could afford for him to continue his career… I have nothing.
My kids are also disabled and he has no ability to care for them, but without a place to stay and money to pay the bills, I’m stuck.
I’m stuck with someone who looks me in my face and tells me he loves me but yet is looking to hookup with others…
I want to unalive myself, but my kids need me, so that’s out.
How did I allow myself to get to this point?
What can I do from here on out?

Girl. Call him out. Get your evidence gathered, and lay it all out there. Let him know you know. Threaten an attorney (even if you don’t have one). And stay at home mom or not, if you have proof of him cheating, he has to pay you alimony due to his indiscretions. And you can fight to keep the house in any divorce settlement. You can also seek punitive damages of you sacrificing your career for him to have one. If you need more help and info, I got you. Feel free to PM me.

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I’m the one who says you can love someone and have sex with someone else. Sex is just that. Sex. Talk to him. I wouldn’t hide that you know. Talk to him. Find out his needs. 20 years is a long time to be with the same person. You’ve gotta be open about sexual urges. Maybe open the relationship up. You can both love each other and have sex with other people.

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So sorry your going through this…my heart truly hurts for you. Call an attorney, gather what all you can.

I agree! I’ve been with my husband for 17 years and we both enjoy sex with other people.
I can have sex or my husband can have sex with a random person and not have feelings for them at all what so ever and come home to eachother every night, have sex, wonderful sex, with eachother, be great parents, hold jobs, etc etc and have a normal life together.
Ask him about it. It could even be an attention thing. I know I enjoy the attention from other guys. Sometimes it boosts my confidence more and revs up the sex drive and I go home to my husband and it makes us stronger. I’m not sure how to explain it.

You’re not stuck. Collect the evidence, get an attorney. You can file for disability for your children. With these indiscretions you got him dead to rights.

I wouldn’t leave all because you found something you didn’t like in his phone. Talk to him, make him open up to you and tell you why he actually makes these dating profiles. There is a reason behind his actions, the only question is do you love him enough to work through it and do you think the marriage is worth saving.