Prove the cheating. 18 years and disabled kids still at home and you haven’t worked… alimony!!!
10 Likes
Ask him for the name of the sites he’s on because you want to join too. He ain’t gonna like that But it will open the floodgates of conversation and communication or he will give the names and y’all can just share living quarters.
9 Likes
Kick his ass out!! Get a lawyer and get a custody order in place asap!
Don’t say anything to him until you’re ready to leave. Start seeing a therapist to get your confidence back and get some good ideas and support for leaving. Start putting money away any way you can. Open a secret bank account. You could call a temp agency and see what kind of job you could get. This is a bunch of bullshit, you don’t have to live like this. Fuck that guy. Don’t say anything until you’re ready.
1 Like
You can stop feeling sorry for yourself ,stop saying you can’t leave because of this an that .pull up your big girl panties get a lawyer so you can get spousal support and child support …than find handicapped education schools for your kids and get yourself a job
30 Likes
Two sides to every story! How did it get to this point is the question after so long together! Hope you the best!
6 Likes
There’s help out there. I don’t know what state you’re in but most courts make sure that the mom and children are taken care of and some states have full alimony for lengths of marriage.
1 Like
Leave him, and make sure you and your kids have a good lawyer … he will have to ensure that both you and all of your children are taken care of. Go and speak to a counsellor or a referral service, develop an exit plan for the least amount of stress on you and the kids, get someone to advocate on your behalf, and take him for bloody everything. You didn’t create this situation - he did!
2 Likes
Get proof. Get a lawyer. He won’t get shit.
Open a bank account in your name only if you don’t already have one.
Contact citizens advice and find out what benefits you would be entitled to…
You have disabled kids so you’re definitely entitled to help…talk to a lawyer about your rights
Face him…next time he tells you he loves you turn round and tell him he cant if he’s behaving the way he does. Maybe a long conversation will sort stuff out between you but if not…find the strength to move on in your life. It will affect your mental health if you allow this disrespectful behaviour to continue and that will affect your children. Good luck xx
3 Likes
No matter what there is always a way. Just depends on how bad you want to stay or leave… I’d say leave…
1 Like
Open account on same app and like his profile picture
13 Likes
Become swingers. If not, do what’s best for YOU
4 Likes
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. 
Legally, he’d be required to support you and your children.
Go to a lawyer.
17 Likes
You’ll get 1/2 of everything depending where you live. There are female and male lawyers that are pit bulls for women. But, first gather as much information physically as possible.
If you don’t start getting things together, confiding in truly trusting friends to stay with when it hits, he will potentially be the first to land a big surprise leave. Start now.
If he’s this callous and mischievous to sneak behind your back to mess things up, then anything else he says isn’t true. You’re far better off than you think.
Countless women and men never saw anything coming. Count this as God giving you a head-start.
Will be praying for you. You and your kids will be healthier leaving such a toxic and lying person. What you’re not supposed to know, he’ll never tell you unless he finds someone. Don’t let it get to the point where he falls head over heels in LUST lust not love for someone.
Cover your tracks and search ways to make money by making it look like, “Just a hobby”. Go on Tiktok and research some entrepreneurial skills there from young influencers. Just the skills can help spark an idea to start making a little here and there. You can save your dignity by making your own money. Little by little you’ll regain confidence and control of your whole you.
God bless you!! He doesn’t know what he lost. What a jerk. There’s absolutely no excuse. No justification.
8 Likes
Divorce. Get Alimony.
3 Likes
I have 2 grown daughters always told them get a education, job, saving dont relay on a man, its good to have separted banking accounts so if there is Abuse in the marriage you can gooooo… they actually listed collage education good jobs good marriages , but if need be could goooo…
2 Likes
I understand the feeling of having to stay. But if you really have a zero tolerance you have to start working on getting yourself situated so you can leave. If not, he will know you don’t really have a zero tolerance and it will continue.
3 Likes
Honey you will get child support and alimony. If he’s cheating you need to address it and stand up for yourself. Your kids deserve better as do you. Don’t stay in a cheating and unhealthy marriage.
3 Likes
If you are seriously having those thoughts of unaliving yourself, you have GOT to get professional help. That comes before all of this.
8 Likes
Stop making excuses and leave. I did with premature twins and not a quarter to my name.
4 Likes
What would you tell your child if this was their situation? You’d tell them to be strong, you’d tell them they do not deserve the disrespect and that their children deserve better…right? You are a strong woman whom has put in her time. You have 3 teenagers who can help you thru this process so you all can heal, their not little thank goodness so that makes things a bit easier. If your husband wants to act like he’s single LET HIM BE SINGLE, there will be a second time and I’m sure a third if you allow this to continue. Do not subject yourself to rationalizing that this is a “phase” or “we can get thru this. LEAVE and do not look back❤️
3 Likes
So then the plan is to begin looking for work and a place to live. Your children are disabled and there for qualify for disability. Apply for it.
Once you have all of this in place (or even before) confront him and tell him you and the kids are leaving. There’s no need or reason to continue to live a lie if you do not have to
1 Like
There should be some kind of resource that could help you get back to work. My mom was at home and didn’t work for like 10+ years and where I live there’s a place called B.E.S.T that helped her get to work. I don’t know where you’re located but it may be something to look in to. She ended up getting a really good job out of it. Start taking steps to leave if you feel you need to. Yeah it may be rough in the beginning but everything will work itself out. Good luck to you!
two words:
Spousal Support.
two more words:
Child Support.
confront him AFTER discussing the situation with a divorce attorney.
9 Likes
Get into an emotionally attached relationship with a stranger. Haha. He will stop. 
2 Likes
Ok my husband and I have been together the same amount of time and we when through a not so great time. Go to counseling first. Try and figure out where he or maybe even a little bit of you lost that connection. We both were to busy being parents of teenagers and to much got in the way of our promises to each other. We both ignored our relationship. And the end result was cheating. And now we’ve moved passed that. Yes there was hurt and pain involved but we made it through stronger than we’ve ever been. That’s just what we did.
5 Likes
Honestly. I would just start ignoring him in your home, because he’s already done that, there’s no going back. That’s awful, by the way. If you can’t leave, pretend you’re roommates.
Absolutely let him know that you know, and then ignore him from there. Ignore everything. Once you figure out what to do with you and your kids, and go from there, just say fuck you dude and let him continue to pay for everything, keep doing what you’re doing… but leave him out of the equation. Like, don’t make his plate, don’t make his dinner, don’t clean his mess, don’t go to the store for him, don’t help him with jack SHIT. He wants to play around, fuck around and find out.
Get your freak on too!!
4 Likes
I would confront him about it first and talk. Do not fight cuz fighting will solve nothing. And then go from there. If it comes to worst get a lawyer and go from there.
1 Like
Since you are married your assets would be split in half including the house since he got to work while you stayed at home caring for the kids. I would 100% speak with a lawyer about this and see what you can do but if you have proof he’s cheating that annuls the marriage and it’s on him… you won’t end up with nothing if you leave or make him leave but if you stay you’ll end up hating your life.
Youll be awarded alimony and spousal support and child support. Know your worth and file. Theres legal programs to help low or no income file at little to no cost to you.
1 Like
Call his ass out on it and tell him your filing for devorce
I was in the same spot 12 years ago. I found a job figured out what I could do to take care if my kids and I divorced him. We had been together 24 years and yes it has been hard but I’m so much happier now
8 Likes
Girl make an onlyfans and make that money and throw that whole ass piece of shit away
Confront him. As long as he thinks you know nothing about him cheating then he will keep doing it
3 Likes
Don’t move out of your home, unless there is abuse. Take pics of all his communication, websites, dates and any other suspicious activity. When and if you are ready for your marriage to end, tell him you know that he has been seeking relationships outside your marriage and you want him to leave the house. Say what you have to say and leave the room. Sending hugs! You deserve better❤️
6 Likes
1st pray…pray for answers…knowledge, strength, endurance…get a good job,or get educated…save some money …create a plan…don’t just walk away …( for .ult reasons)…don’t cute off your nose to spite your face…talk to him.& go to counseling…
1 Like
What you can’t do is allow him to make you not wanna live! Slowly start getting your things in order so you’ll be able to go when the time is right. Hoping for tge best for you and your kids! 
2 Likes
Start hoarding cash, practice self care and take care of your kids…all while making plans to leave and researching programs that can help you out. Also is there a credit card you can use for a retainer for a lawyer? Get references to find a good lawyer who will work for you.
5 Likes
Trust ME, you CAN leave! There is nothing a woman and mother CAN’T do. You need to put on your thinking cap and figure it out. Or you’ll be miserable for the rest of your life. I saved money for a whole year, so I could leave my ex. He didn’t even know until the DAY I moved out with a 1, 3 and 5 year old! 
Best decision ever, I’m now remarried and have 2 new little ones and we just build our first home 2 years ago. Life is what you make it, God bless and best wishes.
8 Likes
Start treating him the same way he’s treating you. Then smile in his face across the table if you absolutely cannot leave. But I do know there are many resources for women in your situation that will help you reestablish your life without needing this kind of treatment.
1 Like
You CAN leave. Do NOT think you are not capable of handling business on your own. You do not deserve to be treated poorly.
Get disability for your children that $ will be helpful. Then start getting cash back every single time you go to the store $20+ every single time. Put It in a safe place he’ll never look & when you have enough for a place of your own pack up & go when he’s at work. Leave a note about why you left. & Don’t answer his calls until you’re ready. -also, make sure you have proof of the infidelity.
You could,
Talk to him & find out what’s really going on. Tell him what you found & tell him you’re hurt. Ask for the truth.
If you’re not convinced he’s being honest follow through with a plan to get out.
Get tested for STDs.
- You need to tell him you know. 2. Tell him you want the same options if he is gonna play these games.
Another option is to join the sites he did and just wait for him to find you. Lol. Or find him. And say Peek a boo.
2 Likes
I have always been told, “go looking for hurt and you’ll find it” not telling you staying is wrong or leaving is wrong but if our huts tell us something and there is actions to support that feeling, it’s a sad, upsetting, and very uncomfortable feeling but now that you have seen it with your eyes…that’s all that will play thru your head, regardless of the choice you make…maybe you can talk about it with him and then decide what to do…I wish you the best
Find a job and leave?
2 Likes
Leave his ass don’t you have family that will help you? If not there is women’s shelters that will help you. You can also get welfare, food stamps and file for a divorce get child and spouse support.
Have you confronted him?
There is a difference between not wanting to live and not wanting to live “LIKE THIS.” Your “like this” really sucks right now but it can change. It made my stomach turn reading this bc I’ve had those same moments in my past relationship looking at that stuff. I’m so sorry. There are lots of good idea here but you’ll just have to take it one step at a time and try to think with your head and not heart with this one bc either way it’s gonna hurt. You are worth more than that and I’m really very sorry
6 Likes
First, I would get to a doctor and have yourself tested! Hopefully it comes back clean with no std’s. Second, I would then refuse to have relations without protection and then only if he gets tested as well. This would obviously involve you having to have “that talk” with him. Print out everything you found so you have concrete evidence of it, especially if it comes down to separation or divorce. Covering your own butt can make the difference of him getting everything vs you getting and having your fair share, including child support, alimony and keeping your house. I pray it doesn’t come to any of this but if it does you may qualify for programs that will help you to care for your children, including disability payments for them. Praying for you!
I left with nothing as a SAHM, once you make that leap it’s amazing how the world opens up and helps. Do you have family or a friend to stay with temporarily while you rebuild your life? Better than letting him slowly take it from you:pensive:
5 Likes
Apply for cash assistance in your state and as your kids are disabled. You should get it. Apply for food stamps also. Find a small apartment
2 Likes
I would follow him w/ binoculars in hand. Catch him in the act. He’ll figure it out right then whether he wants his married life or a single one. If it’s by chance the single one, he’ll know he has to set you and your kids up first. If it’s the married one, then he’ll get his shit together.
My husband committed suicide & left me with a 5 year old (previous relationship but he helped me raise her), a toddler & a baby & not a DIME to our name. No life insurance, absolutely nothing & I had been a stay at home mom for years too. That gave me strength I never even knew I had & taught me so many things. One of them being, I will NEVER ever depend or rely on a man again.
Guess who works full time, does the momma thing full time & has three happy & thriving kids. 
No more excuses. Get it together. You CAN do it. Hugs! 
34 Likes
If your children are handicapped you can apply for the home based wavier or tefra than you can get paid to take care of your kids.
6 Likes
One, your not stuck you have half of what he has. If you do the spending start putting money into a separate account only you have. There are online banks now like ally that are good for this. Odvisouly he isn’t paying much attention to you since he is cheating so use this to your advantage. Go “shopping” but tell him you had to use cash and withdrawal the cash and put it in your account. Once you get enough stashed hire a attorney. You won’t need much for the first down payment. Do not leave!! If y’all own the home it should be yours not his. In the divorce they will force him to pay alimony and and child support. You will not walk away with nothing!! Fight for anything y’all own with value. Even if you don’t want it you can sell it. Do not talk to him about this!! Get your ducks in a row first! Use snip to take a picture of his search history. Do not let him know what your doing because at that point he will have a huge advantage and you did nothing wrong. Please do not let him know first and then make plans to leave. Life isn’t fair and people can cheat and still end up on top. Get your ducks in a row first!!!
10 Likes
Acquire a job, and get out. It’s gonna be hard but you have to.
1 Like
Get an attorney. All is not lost for you.
1 Like
Stay with him but live your own life mama. Let it be a roommate situation
1 Like
Women, you act like you never heard of child support and alimony. He has been supporting you this whole time while you take care of your child’s needs, and if you get a good lawyer, it can keep going. There are also government agencies that help with certain types of disabilities, google and find them and apply.
Dont stay in a relationship just because you feel stuck there.
And dont move out, with him being the douche bag and cheating , keep the emails and text as proof, most houses goes to whom ever keeps the kids.
Get snapshots of his betrayal
4 Likes
Confront him and tell him you know what he’s been up to. Then I would pack up you and the kids stuff and leave!
Why do you have to leave with nothing? Half the assets belong to you. He will need to pay child support and possibly spousal support for a period of time. Go consult w an attorney
17 Likes
Well 1st of all let him know you was snooping around behind his back and let him give you his defense. He may be relived you found out.
1 Like
Start planning now. He might find some bimbo and leave you. Get your affairs in order, get some legal advice, start stashing some cash away if you can. Prepare yourself for you and your children’s sake. And don’t move out without legal separation! He can say you “abandoned” the family. He’s apparently looking out for himself. Do the same for you and the kids.
11 Likes
If you’ve been married for that long, and haven’t worked. You’ll get spousal support, child support and likely alimony. Depending on where you live. And how much he makes. The kids are not a reason to stay. If there is a will, there is a way. There are plenty of resources available to you. Good luck.
18 Likes
Been here done that men get bored if he’s not getting something he wants from you he will look elsewhere whether it’s sex or conversation or attention so I would have a straight up conversation about what it is he will probably get mad & blame you for what he’s doing so either fix it or move on because he will continue but just get better at hiding things from you …CURRENTLY GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE couldn’t be happier about it😊 I hope things work out
You’re not stuck girly I promise.
My ex became a drug addict and abandoned me and our kids. And I was a stay at home mom with no job and no money of my own. Literally he gambled away all of our savings, and a month later took off to another state with the woman he was cheating on me with and never came back. Our oldest was 2 at the time and our youngest only a few weeks old, so I had just had a baby and was recovering from a C section.
I didn’t think I’d make it. But soon as my youngest was 6 weeks old I put him and his brother in daycare, started working full time, and never looked back.
And now 2 years later I’m making more money than most 2 income households, fully support both of my boys with no help or child support. We have our own home, our own belongings, our own vehicle. All of it. And the dad has not given me a dime nor even reached out since he left.
You can absolutely do it. Taking the first leap is the hardest but it is so worth it I promise
27 Likes
It is a big shock to find out the t
So your staying with him for money??? Aye cause that’s gonna make u happy!
Leave him and gain your independence…there’s plenty helpnout there for single mums…stop being a door mat and find someone who treats u like u deserve!!!
1 Like
Girl if u divorce make sure you get spousal support and child support. As a stay at home mom with disabled children you should get taken care of. You should get the house(if you own it) and car as well. Get a good lawyer and clean out joint accounts and open your own.
11 Likes
When you get groceries start buying visa gift cards or asking for cash back. Take the money and start stashing it somewhere. When you enough to leave, leave.
13 Likes
If you truly have a zero tolerance leave.
3 Likes
Just do the same back to him 
6 Likes
I was a SAHM too and I kicked my husband out. Given the length of time you’ve been married, you’re entitled to alimony and half of whatever you have built together. I tried staying in our home for two years and he continued to break promises and treat his kids like dolls he could put on a shelf, play golf and do whatever he wanted. I had an opportunity to buy a house in my hometown and jumped on it. I may have done things in the wrong order but I made copies of everything I’d found on his computer and he had no leverage and he could just Eff off. I got half of the value of the house (which wasn’t as much as it should have been because he never did the promised things to fix it up) and half of the pension, etc and was able to put a down payment on my house. Catch that tiger by the tail Hon!
6 Likes
Cut him off tell him what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Tell him you are now a marriage of convenience for the sake of the kids. He wants to be a cheating SOB let him be one but he cannot retaliate when you get yours too or you’ll nail his nuts to the wall with not only child support but spousal support too.
4 Likes
You can get help to leave don’t feel stuck because of money and a place to stay
He wil likely have to leave ifhouse is adapted for the kids I can’t see any judge making you all leave but you need to tell him you know
2 Likes
If he cheated you will likely keep the house
1 Like
So sad!! I was with my ex for 22 years. I learned once a cheater always a cheater. Save yourself of heartache and get out now. You would get child support, alimony and half of his retirement, half of what ever he has. I wish you all the best through this. Never regretted being out of that marriage. Hugs
2 Likes
Even if you’ve been a stay at home mom all these years plus the kiddos if you leave him he’s going to have to provide some type of alimony to you and if the kids are underage he will have to give child support. Everything you guys own belongs to you as well! Staying at home isn’t easy and the judges know this. Don’t be scared to start from zero, this is a sign! It’s never too late to begin something new and be truly happy. I’d leave but ultimately it’s up to you. Whether you’d want to accept this behavior and continue as if nothing happened or let hell break loose and tell him he’s a giant pig for doing the things he’s been doing behind your back after so long. It’s your choice mama
Many blessings your way
maybe just ask why to him?
1 Like
I have a daughter with special needs, I didn’t have a higher education than high school, and no money but I left. I was very honest when I found everything and gave him 2 years worth of warnings. I filed and divorced him 3 years ago this month. It’s been really hard but it’s worth it when you respect yourself. I recently got my insurance agent license which you can study and take the exam from home and found a work from home company. There’s ways out. But unaliving yourself IS NOT one of them. Tell him everything and give him an option. But start becoming more independent regardless. Just my thoughts 
2 Likes
If you share a joint checking a account or have access to the bank card, go to the bank empty that shit out. Go get an apartment for you and your kids and tell him your leaving. Than tell him he’s going to be paying you alimony for his cheating. Print print girl. Have your proof of cheating. Pack your bags and bounce. If you’re married you have to have access to the funds. He’ll have no clue until you clean out your account.
Lady if your kids are disabled do they have ssi…plus you can get pd to take care of them using insurance…call insurance and ask them if they pay for hours care…that would give you some income…when my ex left I had 435 a month coming in…
1 Like
Yeah it takes a lot of money to raise a handicapped child. It might be easy for some women to just up and leave and go find themselves a job. But women with disabled children don’t have that luxury. My mom being one of them. She didnt ever get to have a career because she was raising my disabled brother. That meant when my dad started his shit she literally had no choice but to put up with it until she could squirrel money away. And that money HE makes is partly hers. If a woman has to stay home to raise their 3 disabled children that’s her money too! That’s what the court told my dad!
1.look after your sexual health, what could he be passing to you? Ewww!
2. Only fools rush in.
3. If youve disabled kids courts might give you the house till kids are older.
4. Do u fight to stay in the home you created or leave? Your choice/ decision.
6. Get him kicked out change locks.
7. Get evidence compiled inc dates times behaviour whats said screenshots fotos voice recordings etc
6. Economize on groceries n start saving
7. open your own basic bank account n av any correspondence sent to a friends/neighbours/ mothers etc
Add as much as poss to it or get stamp cards or gift cards for supermarkets ( say yur saving up for xmas extras ).
8. Get all important documents together eg drivers licience, insurance details, birth certs, passports, life insurance, pension details, his wage slips etc
9. Research legalities online of separation n divorce but look up how to delete your search history 1st.
10. Get number of your nearest womens shelter in case of emergencies, Womens shelters can offer options n advice for leaving or staying.
11. Dont panic or worry youve done nothing wrong.
12. Can you take cash outa joint accounts or have them frozen when youve withdrawn…look into this too…do this when finking of confronting him
KEEP TABS INC DATES N TIMES OF HIS SEARCH HISTORY ETC HIDE YOUR BOOK OF INFO, CONTACT DETAILS ETC
wishing you the best of luck whatever you decide to do…
9 Likes
Same happened to to someone I love
My Grandchildren were moved to another state
1 Like
This is why I was always a firm believer in making your own money! Even if you are a SAHM…Make a side hustle…why let a man control everything! So when things like this happen you can say fuck him and stand on your own feet 
How waste it is for some people who have been married for decades and were together for so many years… built a family, and there are children involved😔 he shoulda know better
1 Like
There are always options. There are programs that help people in these situations who cannot financially leave a situation and it’s going to be hard and you’ll have to make some tough decisions but there is always a way out.
2 Likes
U just answered your own question. U said zero tolerance. So why are u not sticking with it? Doing nothing and staying is the same as saying it’s ok basically. And u have disabled kids so throw his ass out. If he doesn’t leave then u leave. A hotel, a friend, a family member, it’s doesn’t matter. Even if u choose to forgive him, u will never trust him and that alone will ruin the relationship. Don’t even argue about it just say I saw your phone and this relationship is over.
1 Like
Start working your self up mama and make a plan of attack , eg , Start saving money when you do shopping withdraw and extra $20-$30-$40-$50 each week and put it to the side , if you haven’t all ready go open you a bank acc to start putting money away . You will be able to get assistance for your children until you can get your self on your feet you can check this all out online . Step by step then in no time you’ll be outtah there
14 Likes
Kick him out you don’t need to get a disease from him .
2 Likes
File for divorce, custody, child support and alimony
10 Likes
Confront him. Tell him if that’s how it’s going to be then your done. Your kids are in school, you’ll get a job.
Depending on your state, get a legal separation. He will have to leave, pay the bills, you’ll be surprised at what deception and adultery will do for you, the victim. I was 29 years in.
7 Likes
Child support and alimony
3 Likes
First off your never stuck you have options. Just remember whatever you tolerate you’re teaching your kids it’s ok to stay in a loveless marriage. Be strong start to pull your resources together. Save whatever you can, write down everything in case it goes to court. You can do this momma, don’t tolerate like you said you have a zero policy against cheating.
1 Like
Psychologically manipulate him consistently by hiding his things. Replacing them later and be like “the keys were there the whole time” and if you guys watch movies. Watch some that involve gigantic alimony and child support payments to women. Throw on some GONE GIRL and just laugh at it the whole time. Nail his shoes to the floor. Hide his mail. Gaslight him into thinking insane things. When he parks his car, wait till he goes to sleep and then put the car in the opposite direction. Just a bunch of really tiny things that he will have a harder day because of. Hype up Friday night movie night and tell him “it’s a classic” then put on fatal attraction. Follow him to work and take off the little cap on his tires and put a teeny tiny rock in them, screw it back on and his tires will slowly lose air over a day or two ,all at once with no explanation. Also start putting money aside. Get him fat free and sugar free things on accident. Hack into all the dating apps and change his bio to like
“HI IM JIM AND I LIKE TO SMELL YOUR SHOES AND WATCH YOU SLEEP. CALL ME ON MY CELLULAR”… go on to STD sites that give out free literature and sign his name up for physical mail and email updates. Also throw in some publishers clearing house shit in his name because that shit NEVER ends. … lastly if all this fails. 13th century marital duel seems the next logical step. Which would involve probably some broken legs I would guess.
“Trial by Combat, or Medieval Divorce Court” Stories | Ripley's Believe It or Not! | Aquariums, Attractions, Museums
You are entitled to have of everything plus child support and he is on the hook for half of all expenses for your disabled kids. I’d run.
2 Likes