Alimony child support get the house there you go. And half his pension
Get a job and a lawyer. Start preparing to divorce him
Start with filing papers with the county. Youāre a stay at home mom, and if the house is under both your names then he can leave since heās the one cheating. File for divorce! Get your end covered! If it happened once it will happen again. Call a divorce lawyer and get advice on what to do!
Unfortunately thatās common. . You can stop it and mat save your marriage.
First, DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!! Email them to yourself at an email address he doesnāt know about.
That is so sad. I hope you find some peace soon xx
Wow You were strong enough to make the first step and admit there is a problem and ask for help.
You can do anything you put your mind to, MAMA!!!
A smart womanās advice might be this;
Continue as if youāre clueless but continue with your investigations and collect evidence.
Collect a shit ton of evidence.
Go to your bank and close the joint accounts. Before doing so, find a apartment or other living quarters for you and children until thereās can be safe arraignments made to swap kids for visits w dadā¦
Take what came from the account and hire a lawyer pay them immediately
Reach out to a close friend or family member that has gone through a successful divorce and ask for a referral for a divorce attorney. Do your research before making any moves but have a plan and make a plan to move swiftly when you do so.
Leave him NO time or means to backfire on you or your children.
Leave safe and take what only you and your kids need.
Best of luck to you.
Where your headed is hard.
But if youre a special needs Mama and have helped raise your own children and dedicated your time and focus on them thereās nothing thatās holding you back from living whatever life you choose here forward.
Did you confront his a**? If not thatās your first step. See what he has to say, then go for alimony and child support.
2 can play that game. Stay and make him step up caring for the children. Do your own thing while he does his own.
Iām just here to say ā¦
Talk to him . No relationship is easy. No family is perfect. We distance when we disconnect. You can rebuild stronger. Itās what YOU want , what HE wants .
Talk to him.
Get you a side piece and get the best of both worlds
Take screenshots and post them everywhere and also mail the print outs to his mom and all of his grandmas and grandpas and any other close family then divorce them ā¦ thatās what, I totally sane person, would do.
Also get you a boyfriend. Or leave a bread crumb trail for him to find if you fake cheating to see what he gets mad about then show him all the receipts of himself
Well you said he on the apps setting up dates. Has he actually persue anyā¦ and I think men go thru a mid life crisis. Idk have a talk with him and tell him how you feel and is he really doing anything . I donāt think I read that he disappears . Then again you been married many years if you still deeply love him I would never suggest breaking up . If he is actually doing something Iām still not going to suggest to leave him . But also you deserve respect and the truth. If he is able to hold down the home and you want separation then do everything the correct way and go thru the courts none of this is going to change the hurt or pain but at least you will be compensated for the disrespect and all the faithful time you gave this man.
Talk to him about it!
Iām pretty sure itās been happening a lot longer than u realize. Does he know u know yet? Please know. ā¦once a cheat , always a cheat. Call an attorney and see what is your best options, but know, staying and trusting him again isnāt one of them.
Either petition for child support and spousal support, or confront him and live as roommates while you save money. So sorry youāre going through this.
Let him know-how you feel Do not burn yourself, take things slowly and know what is best for you and your family
I would give him a taste of his own medicine. Girl go out and get you a side dude. And I would follow him one day to see exactly what he is up to. Get a GPS tracker.
Wow Iām so sorry to hear your in this situation.i would just ask him talk calmly and try to forgive if possible .thatās a lot of years to throw away .itās just my advice .I hope things work out
Maybe consider an open relationship
If your married and he is cheating, he will have to pay alimony, child support, and pay to maintain the home for you and the kids since that is the way your used to living
Document everything
Have proof then get a divorce
You will likely get some of his pay to help with the kids since he wants to be a POS
Then do what you can to find a job
Move in with someone you know well enough and come up with an agreement on how to live with each other and get things done and dearly with
You can file for separation and request the home for you and your disabled children. Then request child support and the monies your disabled children receive as well as spousal support since you are childrens caregiver.
Child support and alimony.
First get all eggs in a basket- have proof of it all. Buy a table of your own. Then create new email. Send those things to it and also get safety deposit box. Print off all. Confront him without you getting angry, if he goes crazy or refuses to talk admission of guilt!
Leave him with the kids and see how much he enjoys his life,no one is gonna hook up with a single man with disabled kids.Let him go
Start by making your own $$$ā¦ part time job anythingā¦
Never rely on a man as your sole income.
Put your emotions aside and focus on that goal first.
Alimony, child support you can request extra child support for past the age of 18 due the children being disabled. There are also special services available for disabled children that would make it so you could go back to work.
Get a job & secretly save up money and then leaveā¦
This isnāt your fault. Period. Also, donāt mention suicide. PLEASE. Get some help for that front
Girlllllll kick his ass out, get disability for the kids, get alimony from him, and live your best life
26 years been down this road the children are all grown up and I decided one day enough is enough and I left I had nothing my truck and my dog 2 years later I am happy my self-esteem is better no life isnāt a better roses but I got my sanity and Iām not being lied to
Yep ask for child support and alimonyā¦get help from dhhrā¦sign up on hudā¦does your child get any type of assistance?
Of heās ur husband divorce him for cheating and youāll get a payout take that man to the cleaners also ur entitled to money of him for ur kids and bennefits for ur disabled children carers alowence for u u will be fine girl it will be hard at first but ur worth way more than that and go to the council try get housed or get saving and do it that way either way do not stay with him
This is exactly why women shouldnāt rely on a man for financial stability. In situations like this why you have a āzero tolerance policyā you should also have a zero tolerance policy to make it so you are stuck and no where to goā¦
Leave. Itās hard yes but you can do it the question is will you
You would get alimony and plenty of child support. Youād be fine. Fuck him.
Figure it out and leave. Only u can change ur life.
That bullshit āim stuckā is not true. Thats a cop out for staying. There are resources out there especially when the disabled are involved.
Prepare yourself before you make a move. I would start looking for a job and save all the money you can make
Leavvvvve him, dont use your kids as an excuse because they are disabledā¦many would rather see you alive and struggling then unalive and gone foreverā¦and you will get alimony,
Ugh I know the devastation praying for you and your kids
Catfish him, get all the dick pics, and print them. Tape em to his windshield. Yeah. That outta do it. If he is still bold distribute said copies to his parents.
Bring it up to him confront him
You should talk to an attorney. Depending on your state you can get spousal support/alimony while you get on your feet and if you have a home and cheating is involved you get a higher percentage.
But laws are different in every state, so speak to an attorney and if your children are disabled maybe you can get checks for them as well.
I love all of the helpful comments to help you figure out the financial issue. You deserve so much better. I hope you find a easy way out.
If you stayed at home so he could continue his careerā¦. Alimony will be on your side.
Hate to break it to you (or to him) but you are entitled to HALF of everything. If you put everything aside to further his career then you are entitled to the income. Sad in certain situations where the man gets f*cked but your type of situation this is exactly why this is implemented. And I know itās easier to just say oh leave him like itās super easy. I know itās not. I know it wonāt be easy to start over if thatās what you choose to do.
Firstly, I would start secretly planning a small savings account for yourself. Secondly, I would bring up what you found to him. Note his reaction. A person who does this type of thing will likely not stop but will become more secretive and good at hiding what they do. Really he needs counseling and you both should talk to someone together as well. But when it comes to him and you I feel like you need to be 100% open and honest with what you know, what you found, what your fears are, and what the outcome will be if things arenāt 100% resolved on his end, and like with haste! Do t let these things slide. Not even for one second.
Lawyer up! You get half the house, alimony, child support ā¦ get out of there!!
Leave him. You are not stuck. You are entitled to a lot. Consult a lawyer
Cry, scream, get it all out & then pick yourself up and keep moving forward baby girl. It will all be okay in the end, if itās not then itās not the end yet. Start putting all your time n energy into yourself n your children from now on, forget about him. Keep it cordial for now while youāre living under the same roof. Go to your local dhhs office and apply for everything, food stamps, housing, disability for your kids, whatever you can, apply for. Then, start making a plan for yourself and the kids, he leaves or u do. Sense he has a job, I would fight to keep the apt/house esp for the kids so u donāt have to up root them. Get yourself a lawyer, check with places that do Probono work, you need to establish custody for the kids and also need the lawyer to file for divorce, they could probably give u advice about the living situation and all that too. You can do this on your own. Sending u love & light. You have a long road ahead of u, but youāre not alone Momma!
Confront him. Tell him you know. Go from there. Have couples therapy. All the best
Be brave take your time get the hell out
Take every penny he has , file for an exparte , divorce his ass and seek alimony and child support. Of course burn all his things and leave him with nothing
You donāt need himā¦you and the kids deserve better.
There are organization yo help you get out displaced homemakers are a great organization I went thru them at one time
Isnāt it sad that we do things like be stay at home mums so the man can continue THEIR CAREER. And meanwhile most of the time we loose every part of ourselves. Or so sometimes it feels that way.
I hope your okay.
If you break things off, Heāll have to either come to a agreement for monthly / weekly payments to you or you go through CSA. Your children are disabled so look into claiming DLA and universal credit. Money doesnāt need to hold you back. Ever.
Itās sad to see women think they HAVE to stay. You have to do nothing. Just like he didnāt have to cheat
What I will say is all thatāll happen is heāll be doing it still and just clever enough to delete his history once you talk to him and he knows thatās how you saw the evidence.
sending hugs and all my love
You aināt stuck file for divorce you will get the house you have the kids kick his ass out
I feel for you. It isnāt that easy to just leave. You are so interlinked and financially dependant on him.
It is so hard when it happens like this because you didnāt so anything wrong and your life seems like it has to change.
However, I think you should talk to him. Consider councilling, try and work it. Your relationship may be fixable and maybe not worth throwing it all away, without trying.
1st place you sneaked and looked at something that was none of your business. 2nd place has he left the house to go to visit any of the friends he sees on his screen. My husband liked Playboy and other magazines and hid them from me under the towels in the bathroom When I told him I found one and asked him why he didnāt share he said he used them so he could get āupā. They made him horny. Fine with me. After he died I went on those sites and found men that said they went on that site to see others have sex and when I asked why they said it made them horny. So think about that for awhile.
Donāt allow it, be roommates for now until you get a different live in situation, but donāt allow this type of disrespect, work on yourself and for your children, you donāt deserve this
Search his phone. If he wonāt let you then have a bf. Why not try polygamy
Get your man back. Fool you once shame on him but donāt allow it to happen twice.
Praying for you listen to your heart, but know you are never stuck! Itās never too late to start over. If you left him he would have to help financially with the kids. You would figure it out day by day, you always have options. You CAN leave that manā¦ he obviously doesnāt deserve you.
God will provide for you if you leave you just need to trust him and put your faith in him. My mom was a single mother to 5 kids. We were rich but we were happy & loved. Thatās all that matters.
File separation papers for alimony and child support then Get all the money out of your bank accounts and put most of it into a cashiers check and the rest hidden underneath your mattress. Then pack his bags and put it by the front door then kick him out telling him this is for cheating. Usually he will leave get mad at the missing money while finding a place to stay and then beg to come back. At that point it is up to you to decide whether you will try again with him or stay separated.
Leave him. Get a divorce. That is cheating. Do it before he physically cheats (he probably already has) and even gets a woman pregnant (noone uses birth control anymore). or catches a disease that he gives to you.
Call him out get it all on the table
Get proof and save it. Drain your joint accounts. Gtfo. File for child support and alimony. There are services for women in your position. Do some research and actively invest in you and your childrenās future. Do you really want to stay with someone who disrespects you like that? Where thereās a will, thereās a way. You can do it.
Ok for real pretend nothing happened and start putting back any money you can whatever it takes start prepping to leave so when you can go just go . Bet he needs you too see how he does without you
You marry with the best of intentions but people change. Itās not your fault but you need to pray for calm and peace and talk to him about it. Get it out in the open and talk to an attorney. Most of all, donāt accept the blame for what he has done because he will blame you. Men who cheat always blame the wife.
Start with getting a job.
Was in a similar boat a year ago and Iām digging my way out. I left. Took my son and my mom had my daughter. When I lost my first spot, I made his father take him. At first things were rocky but with constant support from the most unlikely place, Iām digging myself out.
Post in local mom groups, look into divorce procedures, start skimming money and saving. Make and plan and stick to it. REACH OUT FOR HELP lots of organizations and Bob for profits can help you get on your feet.
Please know the trauma of staying will only destroy your mental. Your kids need a healthy mom. You got this mama, you CAN leave. You WILL leave. And you WILL be able to come up with a plan.
You are entitled to half of everything. You stayed home to raise kids. Keep all the proof you can of his online activities. File for divorce get a good lawyer. You can ask for him to pay all legal fees since he broke the vow of marriage.
Cut him out of your life
Document all the evidence and Divorce him!
Screw him. Let him take care of the kids and you go get a job. Save up money and move out into a cheap apartment & let him take on the responsibility of caring for the kids for a while so you can work on your career
Say nothing ā¦ Start a squirrel fund ā¦ Silently network for help to get out, family shelters, church whatever or whoever u can. Find a way for u to become financially independent ā¦ If u say jack to him its simply become chaos in your home and if u have disabled children they do not need that.
Some states will make him pay alimony and child supportā¦.while that may not be enough to survive on, it is a start to gaining independence and getting out of a bad situation. Go to school. Get a degree, start your own business, start off at any job that still allows you to care for your kids, then move up. Itās scary but you can do it. Another option is confront your husband, agree to marriage counseling and attempt to save the marriage. This is the step I would attempt first. If he fails to try this, then proceed with the other. Good luck to you and I hope all works out.
Check into women shelters and see
Thatās why alimony exists. Document everything and take everything from him.
If your children are disabledā¦ Do you get disability for them? You could support yourself on that income alone.
Look on Indeed for jobs and file for divorce
Firstly itās not that YOU allowed yourself to get to this point.
YOU have done everything right, and you are human in the sense that you wanted everything that anyone in love wants and deserves.
There is nothing wrong with that.
Everything that is wrong about this is on him and his weakness.
You are the strength in your family and you will eventually find a way to move on without him.
I donāt have the answers, however I do wish you all the best.
You can get alimony and child support and make him leave.
Hope you took "screenshots " of the evidence so you can prove it when necessary.
You did nothing wrong, you will be the one who comes out ahead ~ Karma
Never give up!
If you have nothing, kick him out. Heās in the wrong. He can struggle and find somewhere to go while still supporting you.
You know the answer: leave.
Alimony?, disability for kids? Child support, there are woman who live off this income.
You can also apply for assistance from jobs and family services.
Get a job and get out
Or get social security for your kids if theyāre disabled
Screw him leave him they have shelters for situations like urs n ur kids
Staying shouldnāt be an option.
Screen shot or get evidence of his looking. Is he just looking or acting? Do this quietly. Can you get up in the middle of the night to open his phone, or do it while heās in the shower? Send to a trusted friend/s and/or family member/s for safekeeping.
Get advice from a womenās center/shelter in person or online. Discuss what jobs/training you may qualify for. Have them refer you to a lawyer (consult may be free).
Create a plan for divorce. With half of all assets during your 20 year marriage thatās half of all bank accounts, property (including vehicles) owned, investments including IRAs and pensions. Do you rent or own? When I divorced he got all the $$, I got the paid-for house. Alimony, child support, kids disability/Social Security $$ fill in the rest.
Then try counseling. If it works, great. If it doesnāt or he backslides, work your plan. If you have assets, you can put them in your childās name, or cash out and hide the money so you donāt have as much on your side to divide.
Tell the women in your family to always have enough money stashed away so they can escape.
You can do this: lots of role models.
In No. Virginia but good online resource:
Thewomenscenter.org.
Oh sweetie you can nail him to a board with the right lawyer
Alimony/spousal support is a great option. You should be entitled to half of all the assets etc.
You have nothing??? Well for starters you have half of everything! Go talk to a lawyer and see whatās up. Never hurts to find out where you standā¦ donāt just assume you are stuck, fight for whatās yours! Hang in there and good luck!!
He would have to pay child support and alimony, youād be fine to leave him.
Get disability ins for ur kids
Get certified to be their caregiver as your job. Or hire caregiver with their ins to care for the kids and you get a job.
They would give u income
When that is established gather ur evidence of his infidelity and go to court. Alimony and child support.