I’m looking for input on the appropriate age to talk to my daughter about sex?

She is 7 years old, will be 8 in November, 2nd grade. I taught her all about anatomy and proper names for all the parts years ago but Im not sure if she’s still too young to know the rest. She seems so young still but I also don’t want to wait too late. There’s probably no exact age that’s right for everyone but I’m just looking for guidance.

For reference if needed: she is very smart and in G&T program at school, but she also has anxiety, anger management issues, and self control issues (seeing a therapist and scheduled for ADHD assessment next week). I also got a call from her teacher today that she and one of her good friends in her class at school have been talking about being “girlfriend and boyfriend”, holding hands all the time, and “can’t stay away from each other”…to the point where they want to put them in separate classes.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I’m looking for input on the appropriate age to talk to my daughter about sex?

I guess everyone will have their own opinions on it, but I would say when she starts menstruating would be a good time.

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Let her be a child first

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I knew about sex at that age…learned it from a class mate who’s older sister had the talk from their parents. Within the day the whole class knew. It didn’t impact my childhood like some people would have you believe.

Now days girls start menstruating at age 8.

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We had the talk with my daughter right before 6th grade (11 yrs old)

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I live on a farm soooo yeah lol those animals are making babies :joy:

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Kindergarten is the appropriate age or even pre-school. Our children are not our generation when everything used to be a Taboo. These children knows more than us. We don’t know what’s going on in their classrooms but them other’s children, knows to much.

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If you have been open about it, as soon as she shows signs. I started at 12 and I dont know if my mother just didnt know or didnt want to have the talk.

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Talk to her about relationships and respecting herself

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My kids knew that adults play with each other’s private parts for fun and sometimes babies as soon as they could hold a conversation about their private parts. The longer you wait, the harder it gets and the more time you give the world to get to her first.

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Be truthful, use actual terminology. If you tell her the full truth, so buttface kid will tell her all the wrong things.

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I had the “talk” when they were like 9. There’s too much on t.v. and in society that could make them curious and want to experiment. They were very understanding about it. They were/are very mature for their age. I didn’t want the wrong ppl teaching them about it because confusion can change into experiment at the drop of the hat.

I don’t believe that there is a such thing as an “appropriate age.” I believe that each child & each situation is different. Maturity level is the key, not age.

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I couldn’t bring myself to even talk bout it with my daughter! so i had the health teacher do it

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I’d wait. Most lil kids have boyfriends/girlfriends at that age and they think that’s what they are supposed. As long as there is no inappropriate touching I wouldn’t worry about it much

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Now… start with the period talk. Puberty then sex. Talk about her puberty and boy puberty. My 6 yr old son knows the basics of boy and girl puberty and sex. I also have three teen daughters and they all learned you g.
Trust me if you don’t tell them. Someone else will

Definitely way too young in my opinion. Sheezus.

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Kids are having sex now at 8 and 9. If you haven’t told them yet. You should.

If she is already seeing a therapist i would have a short discussion with the therapist. Sometimes kids say more to the therapist than mom/dad

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Sexual education should start very early and progress as your child matures. It’s important that it’s always age appropriate and as your child ages, let them guide the conversation.

However, please remember, sexual education is not just about sex. Sexual education encompasses emotional relations and responsibilities, human sexual anatomy, sexual activity, sexual reproduction, gender preference & orientation, consent, reproductive health, reproductive rights, safe sex, birth control, STI/STDs and sexual abstinence.

She’s young so just start teaching her about her consent. Make sure she knows that no one can touch her without her permission and she cannot touch others without their permission. Make sure she’s aware that if someone does touch her and she did not give them permission / want to be touched - they are wrong. it’s her body, she gets the say.

I do not believe it’s smart to wait until she starts her period to start educating her. Get her a child friendly book on periods. PREPARE HER. Proactive, not reactive. You don’t know when/where she will start bleeding. Make sure she’s prepared and not afraid in case you aren’t around.

Lastly, please remember that the more thorough her sexual education is - the higher the chances of her making SMART, safe, good decisions in regards to her body and sexual activity. Children/adolescents with a thorough sexual education are more likely to wait to have sex and not engage in promiscuous activity. The mindset that sexual education is only for older people / will lead children to become sexually active is wrong. Sexuality is normal. Normalize it, teach your children and give them the power to make good decisions.

Hope that helps!

Google age appropriate info. Don’t rush it. Don’t make the mistake of introducing her to something she doesn’t know about then she become curious. Age appropriate. Then a more indepth talk when period starts. No need to discuss sex or intercourse and the details.

It’s never too early to discuss sex in an age appropriate way.

I think if she asks you questions then explain it to her and when she’s around 11 or 12 then I’d bring it up and have a talk to her about sex but for now I’d just be teaching her self love and respect.

I think to young but, tell her if anyone touches her inappropriately let you know. That’s what I told my kids.

Have you talked about appropriate/inappropriate touching? That’s a good way to get a start on it.

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I gave my kid some age appropriate books which she pretty much devoured.

My kid asked me in the third grade, I didn’t know what to tell him so I said it the best way I could. He went to the school the next day, told a girl he wanted her to have his baby. That mom took that girl out that school so fast, he got into trouble and I was told that was a talk I should had told him was between us.

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I started talking about it young. Normalize it. Geezus. The less taboo you make it the more comfortable your children will be with you and come to you for questions and advice.

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When she asks , answer .

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There are definitely age approaches talks you can start having with your daughter. Such as the meaning of having a boyfriend or girlfriend and when its appropriate to hold hands, and or kiss. I dont necessarily think 7/8 is appropriate to go into full sex education details. But you can inform her private areas are not for everyone and if anyone ever tried to see / touch her private areas she should say something right away. I think 10-11 is more age appropriate sex talk ages as their bodies start to change.

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You should be asking the therapist the appropriate time for this conversation.

It’s not a one-time talk. It’s a continual conversation that gets more complex and goes into more detail the older she gets. It starts in preschool with good touch-bad touch body autonomy talks. It’s not just about where babies come from, it’s about responsibility, consent, various forms of birth control, safety, STDs, the spectrum of gender and sexual identity (LGBTQI) including pronouns, peer pressure, body changes, masturbation, and so on.

I was shocked at how much my kids knew at young ages & how young some of their classmates started having sex. As far as I’m concerned, the sooner the better. It’s like letting kids sample alcohol so they know what it’s like. If you take the mystery out of something it makes it less likely kids will want to experiment.

Feel free to have different people in her life talk to her (with or without you) about different aspects if you are unsure or uncomfortable broaching them. Other family members and close friends, Scout leaders, and especially her dad if he’s in the picture.

American Girls has great books on puberty called “The Care and Keeping of You” for younger and older readers that are highly recommended.

Your personal and religious beliefs may also enter into these discussions, but I’d err on the side of telling her more vs. less.

P.S. Get her the HPV vaccine. She’s eligible now, but 11 or 12 years old is fine.

Id tell her as soon as she’s old enough to understand so she’s educated on being safe.

The school sent home papers during the 4th grade for each of my Youngin’s that the Nurse would be conducting a class. I signed the paperwork and called her just in case she didn’t get the paperwork.

Me, I’m STILL waiting for my Mother to say something. I am currently up to 6 GrandChildren.

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Our son is 12. We discuss this topic as he mentions things. Example: Thursday he came home to tell us about a used condom in the boys bathroom at school. :face_vomiting: On Wed I had to pick him up early from school for a dr appointment. While waiting in the school office there was a girl (11) pregnant who had not told her mom yet. Sick throwing up in a trash can & showing. In my opinion better talk early than later, than to have this issue to deal with. Again, just my thoughts

My oldest is 10 and we have had some talk but it more she knows if she has a question I will answer. So I don’t just say what I want I let her lead those conversations with questions

I think you should start with appropriate/inappropriate touching. Tell her what is acceptable and what isn’t, and that if she doesn’t want to be touched she needs to let the person know that she is uncomfortable. Every child is different but thats a good place to start. I also suggest speaking to her therapist. Sometimes kids will say stuff to them rather than their parents. It’s normal.

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Now. Her hormones are already high. Explain why we menstruation and if you can’t I suggest you Google any questions you can’t answer. Puberty is already started. My GD is 7 and she needs training bras. My daughter was like yours. Now I’m discovering she was allergic to sulfa and perfumes. It has effected her mentally not physically. When she was diagnosed with Hashimotos she started a gluten free and dairy free diet and I’m amazed at her personality change. She is so much calmer. And happier. She only eats fish or chicken. God bless. Again. Google everything you can to explain all she’s going thru.

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For those saying she’s too young, I’m 41, and I started my period at 9! They say the girls are starting earlier now because all of the hormones in the foods we eat. I would say 8 years old is old enough to know the basics!

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Not to young If she isn’t homeschooled …

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Kids are starting younger and younger these days and while 7 is still young and we still see them as our babies only you will know when the time is right some children go through it younger and some older but you as the parent will know when the time is right. Also even if you feel she is not ready always always tell them that people are not suppose to touch and she is not suppose to touch and that if anybody does she needs to let you know…

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Wait til shes older for that talk

IMO that’s a little to young, maybe 10ish 11? That’s just my own view in it.

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I would talk to her cause you never know what age she’s going to start having her monthlys. I knew a girl that was 10 that was pregnant and her mother was going oops I guess I should have had the talk with her. I let my daughter know what was going on with her body bit by bit that way it didn’t over whelm her.

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Not yet… but keep them supervised! Kids get all kinds of ideas from interent access!

My mom never had to have “the talk” with me because I learned what sex was from school and TV before I was 8 years old. Of course she explained pregnancy and protection/stds etc. And what menstruation was when I started at 11, but I knew at a very young age.

The sooner the better…this day and age…

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My almost 9 yr old has asked questions and I have answered her truthfully. I have always taught my kids that I am here to answer any questions they have. They know proper names for the body parts.

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There is a book called The Care and Keeping of YOU. Bought them for my niece and great granddaughter. Awesome book. They read it to me and we discussed and it was great. It talks about things that are happening that They can articulate. God Bless

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No, too young. Let her be a child, please?

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I’m 29 with 2 kids and my parents haven’t even told me 😵‍💫

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I think I was around her age when my dad first explained it to me. Not in detail but made me aware of it. And then around 10/11 my elementary school actually had all of us take a mandatory sexual education day where we met with four different teachers and they explained in detail to us about puberty and sex and where babies come from. Obviously every school is different and I know most schools won’t do that so I would say around 10 would be a decent time to have that in depth convo with her.

Ask her therapist, not a bunch of stranger :roll_eyes:

I think that’s the age where you talk to her about periods and anatomy and what not, but I feel that the sex talk isn’t really needed until the end of primary/start of high school as that’s where I feel kids start exploring and learning about what feels good. Having an open policy where she can always come to you with questions is definately key to a healthy relationship. I would tell her the basics and ask her what she knows about how babies are made. I’d tell her that until she’s a certain (more appropriate) age that she’s not to have sleep overs with boys to avoid that. Tell her that if things get serious then to come to you and that’s when you have the talk. I feel 8-10 is much to young, but 11-13 is much more appropriate as some kids are very curious at younger ages, where some just aren’t. It’s better to be safe then sorry but you also don’t want to take her innocence away to soon and make her curious. I dunno, raising kids is a tough subject and you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. You know you’re child best so you will know when she starts showing signs. Also holding hands and being boyfriend and girlfriend is more innocent then you think. It’s when they start kissing with tongue that you need to consider the talk haha if she’s squeamish and thinks that’s gross, she won’t be interested in playing with his penis. Haha

Not too young at all. Teaching about inappropriate touching and consent should be from the earliest as possible.

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I would wait until her period. It’s easier. However, I would mention no one should touch her privates but her because that’s why we cover them up and it’s inappropriate if someone does go in your shorts or up your shirt. We wear clothing for a reason

I support the idea of telling her what’s inappropriate touching and certain things she needs to say no to when she’s uncomfortable. Let her know ur there for her no matter what she’s facing. Explaining early about periods are good because u never know when they start and most of the kids get scared. Age 7 might be young to understand about sex and might complicate things for her. She might get more confused and start questioning about things she doesn’t need to be worrying about as a kid.

Get the It’s So Amazing series of books and read them together. Then leave them where she can peruse them herself in private and let her know you’re available to answer any questions. The first book is designed for kids her age. The second book goes into greater detail for the next stage and the third book includes things that is best for older kids and teens. Open communication about sex from a young age ensures your kid won’t be hindered by a sense of shame about sex.

You did well with body parts. Now safety talk. First marker for many girls is body hair. Watch and wait

It’s never too young to start!!!

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So I was in school not that long ago and yea we had a 11 year pregnant. So umm do a basic sex ed and if she has more questions she can ask

I was 9yo when I started my period and was absolutely terrified . No one had told me anything and I thought I was ill or had done something wrong . My mother was not the type to discuss anything personal
I think its important that children continue to be children as long as possible …but that doesn’t change the need to be informed about their bodies and how they work /change.
Children will always talk about boy/girl friends. Its normal and doesn’t necessarily mean anything…but at her age she’s old enough to be told simply facts and to ask questions …I always believe in honesty with kids. And the younger they have the facts…the safer they are.

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Teach about consent, bodily autonomy, and good/bad touches, too. Teach her how to say no and not have to explain herself to anyone because she is in charge of her body.

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If she starts asking questions, answer them. My 8 year old asks the occasional question and I answer honestly. I also let him know that if there is anything at all he wants to know, he can always ask me :grin:

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Gauge it by her level of maturity. Sounds like you need to at least skim the surface. Maybe give VERY general info… The man’s part goes here, etc

5th -6th grade would be more appropriate for “the talk”

I worked building up to the sex talk it’s important to be age appropriate but tailored to where they are maturity wise. I have 2 daughters, they were on very different maturity paths so got info at different ages.

It’s important that they learn as they get older, IMO, and kind of build up to THAT talk. Started with proper names, how babies develop without specifics of creation, periods and specific female anatomy/function, then about 4th grade for one and 6th grade for the other they got the full talk.

My daughter asked questions and I told her the truth… She knew actual body parts and nicknames by the time she was 5. She knew exactly how babies were formed and I let her know quickly that we didn’t keep secrets from each other and how nasty it was for anyone else to touch her. She now comes to me for everything if she needs and she’s 15. We have very open communication and I don’t judge. :woman_shrugging:

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At my kids schools they start sex education in fourth grade.

Answer any questions she has, make sure she knows that NO ONE has the right to touch her private parts unless it is a doctor and YOU are with her.

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I have a now 14 year old girl. Was 10 when I got her. I have five other kids that are now 20, 19,18,16&4. Obviously the older kids talk about things.
Here is what I did.
Ask her if she has any questions about kissing. Or holding hands. And as time goes on and the conversation progresses you can get a feel for her knowledge. At first she may be shy and simply say no. But if it’s a comfortable sit down with a bowel of ice cream type conversation. Don’t talk forever. When the ice cream is done. Be done. Unless she is asking questions. Be honest with her. When she asks and she will, tell her how old you were when you experimented. There are two things (sex and oral sex) that I always ended with, I wish I would have waited longer. Not necessarily for marriage (it just is what it is) but for my mind and body to be ready. If she asks something that you don’t feel she is old enough to know tell her that you are uncomfortable and need to think about how to respond. But the truth is, if she is asking she already knows something. Don’t avoid it, it will make her uncomfortable. Make that conversation on that she can bring up any time. And one that if you don’t know the answer you will find out and do your best. Good luck. Btw. My kiddo was 12 when I was open and honestly asking questions. At almost 14 I asked her if she needed birth control. It was awkward. But I want her to feel she can come to
Me. Whether it be tomorrow or five years from now. The scary part is that her response was no longer “ick, that’s gross, why would you ask me that?” It was “no not right now”. I don’t want her to feel I’m giving permission. I want to find that line of I can come to ask questions and ask for help.

I got raped before I started my period, I didn’t understand why I was bleeding or what actually happened until around the time I actually started my period. I was told I started my period and that was why I was bleeding, but I never bled again until about 2 years later.

Answer any questions she has honestly and make sure she’s comfortable enough asking or telling you anything and everything :heart:

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You can briefly talk to her about it. I would definitely make sure she knows that no one should touch her area unless she’s hurt and it’s by you or the doctor.

Not too young… My daughter started asking questions when she was 7 and I told her the truth.

My daughter started asking questions just before her 7th birthday. I answer her truthfully and always encourage her to ask because it’s the only way to find out answers!

In my personal opinion (as a mom to an 8 year-old daughter) I wouldn’t have the talk with with my daughter. At least not THE TALK. What I mean is I wouldn’t talk to her about sex at this age. Mine knows about periods, she wears training bras, she’s learning how to better manage her own personal hygiene, with less help from me. She knows what’s a good touch and a bad touch. Occasionally she will hear her siblings say something, or hear something on TV and she will ask a question, I always answer her honestly and age appropriately.

They are just playing. The fourth grade is a good time to talk to your daughter😂.

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I follow a lady on TikTok that is very informative and educated about sexual education along with age appropriate talk with children. (Obviously your own children) I love her.

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There is an age appropriate way to have these talks at any age w kids.

Just be honest and open with your kiddos. The more knowledge they have the better they are equipped to respect themselves, partners, less at risk for molesters, they have a better chance at preventing a possible pregnancy and STIs.

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Answer her questions but not the full talk that young. Their minds are still innocent at that point unless they had outside exposure. You can discuss healthy relationships and appropriate touching without sex.

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I informed my daughter at 10 about the birds n bees, her period etc. She also comes to me with anything and will not judge, give advice if needed and I’m open minded to everything. Kids learn all kinds of sh*t in school…you’d be surprised.

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I had already talked to both my daughters about sex at 7.

I let my daughter decide so it wound up being 12.

If they are old enough to ask then they are old enough for the truth. If she’s not asking then don’t tell.

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I’d wait until she starts asking/talking about it

I’ve had “the talk” with all of my kids when they turned 10 years old. And I plan to do the same with my youngest.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I’m looking for input on the appropriate age to talk to my daughter about sex?

that parent group (with Cath Hakanson) it’s never too early

When she starts asking questions is a good sign that she may be ready.its good not to elaborate too much( overexplain) just answer what she asks you.if you initiate at this age its possible it will be lost on her and she wont understand.if shes not curious…let it be.

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Has she started her period yet? If she has then yes its time, her hormones are already kicking in. If not maybe start with seeing if she knows what a boyfriend is and then go from there. If she thinks holding hand is all a boyfriend is maybe just have relationship talks with her and wait on sex till she is starting to change hormonal. Or right before she starts middle school would be the lastes personally.

On YouTube look up Sex Ed Rescue. She has videos on the best books for kids to teens and also books for parents about safe sex and body parts. Also puberty books for teens.

My son is 3 and I have found many books that teach him about sex at he’s age and level of understanding. At this point the books are mostly about what private parts are, what secrets need to be told and consent.

Tell her, her anger issues are because she’s not getting enough sleep and she must go to bed earlier until she chooses to better control those challenges…

Talk to her therphy Dr, about it my moma talked to me an my sister’s at the age your little girl is but we didn’t have, the agervation your baby is going threw I know she’s a little lady but always going to be your baby, has she ever seen dogs, or cats or any other animals having sex,? You know you can ask her if she knows what there doing an what happens an then explain that is kinda how mommy’s an daddy’s do an that’s how they make babies since she knows what all the body parts of the body I was a virgin till I was close to 19 so I was like I knew some of it but my mom gave me a book sat down in my room with me the book was all guys an I totally Freeked an I said is that what they really look like she said she smiled an said I’m proud of you I said,why she said your still a vergin , I go Oh she asked me if I had any questions ask her she would explain the best she could

When she asks questions then answer honestly in words she will understand. Usually around 5 grade they start asking where babies come from.

My daughters were 9 when they started their periods that’s when I explained it to them

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I’m looking for input on the appropriate age to talk to my daughter about sex?

Do what you feel is comfortable, if you feel she can handle the information in a mature way, go for it! I like to live by if they’re old enough to ask about it, they’re old enough to know the truth". Better your kid learns at home from you in a way you feel comfortable with rather from an outside source that could give major misinformation.