So my ESL was with my brother for nine years we had a very close relationship acutely we were more like sisters told each other everything went out for girls nights etc. She had a son from a previous relationship, and he calls me aunt because that’s how I treat him like my nephew. Mind you; she has two children with my brother. Well back to her and my brother they separated, it was a nasty one. But I stayed by her side. I know how my brother can be, and I supported her. Well, she meets this new guy and eight months later married him. I guess he’s the jealous type my SIL told me while they were just dating. He thought it was weird. We had a really close relationship. He doesn’t like her talking to me, hanging out with me, etc. Thinks it’s weird she allowed my nephew to stay over, I’d babysit him, etc. Well, now she won’t speak to me at all. My nephews from my brother visit because he gets them every other week. But it makes me sad. Today was my nephews (her son from the previous marriage) birthday I texted her and asked if I could take him for ice cream and give him his gift, and she never responded. She doesn’t text or calls me like she used to. I’m not jealous at all. I actually congratulated her on her new marriage. I’m just hurt and sad that our friendship I feel is over, and I can’t see my precious nephew anymore. Should I just cut her out like deleting her off FB and delete her number basically cut her out of my life and move on? Or should I try to reach out to her? I don’t want to make her new husband upset or uncomfortable or upset with her.
You should reach out.
By the sounds of the husband she will need you one day.
I would reach out just let her know your there no matter what you never know what goes on behind closed doors and she may need you one day. At least then she knows she could come to you. Try catching her for a chat without her new husband that’s just my opinion anyway x
I went through this same thing with a close friend of mine after years of her ignoring me unless she just wanted something from me I finally cut her out completely
I think you need to reach out and tell her what you just told us.
Reach out, my ex husband & I have been divorced for over 15 yrs & I still chat with his kids & on occasion his mom. His 1st wife & I chat occasionally as well. It’s not taboo to still be friends
If you haven’t already tried talking to her maybe try to reach out to her and explain your feelings?
I wouldn’t cut her out just let her know you are always there and you love her and her nephews! When my parents got divorced my aunt and grandma (dads side) and mom stayed friends 
I lost my very best friend bc her husband didn’t like me. In the end she allowed it. Move on. Ironically I was the one that set them up 
I feel like she’s not reaching out because of her new husband, not because she doesn’t want to. Being the bigger person and allowing that open door for communication and family relationships are few and far between these days. If it doesn’t stress you or place too much an emotional toll on you, then I’d say keep it open. The fact you’re asking an Internet forum means you love and care about her and her babies, you’re a very sweet person and very thoughtful. With love and time, I hope y’all will get your relationship back!
One last, i love you if you ever need me I’ll be here. Keep that door open. As the ladies above said theres a very real chance shes gonna need you
Can’t see why not reach out to her x
Honestly, I would let it go for now. I more concerned about the kids at this point. From the sounds of it she’s an abused woman and your brother may want to make sure his kids are okay living in that type of situation.
Obviously didnt pic a much better husband
Sounds like you did reach out and she ignored you… Time to move on
No worries. She will contact you when that psycho takes it too far.
She already cut you off, do the same?
She could have at least responded to the text saying no, rather than ignoring you.
Let her be, you have pride too
Reach out my mom stayed “family” w my dads side of the my family.
This happened to me I eventually moved on…U can’t make some one like u…husband sounds controlling…
Send her a message that says you miss her and you love her, then leave the ball in her court. That’s all you can do.
Follow your heart. Hoes over bros is what they say. If she means that much to you get in touch with her.
I am still friends with my ex sister in law. She treats my children from my new marriage like her own. There is nothing weird or wrong about your relationship.
Sounds like you were already cut off
Stay in touch with her. She’s in a controlling relationship with someone she barely knew and married. She will need you there to help her escape when she’s ready to leave.
Yeah I’d let it go and just pray for the babies, you tried your best
I feel like shes doing it because of the new husband. Not because she wants too. I would reach out and let her know that you’ll always be there whenever she does decide to reach out just so she knows the ties arent broken.
Sounds like she’s in an abusive relationship. Isolating victims from ppl who love them, making them feel it’s wrong to have that relationship is a form of control. Less ppl in the victims life the more likely she’ll stay because nobody will help her out. I would not cut her off. Be there for her. Let her know on Facebook that you’re thinking of her, there if she needs you or needs to talk. She may not contact you because he’s truly made her feel your friendship is somehow wrong. But you’ll be available if she gets smart & chooses to get out.
My mom And my aunt (my dad’s sister) were friends in high school and that’s how my mom met my dad my parents divorced and they’ve been divorced 34 years and they have remained best friends since
Kids are always the ones that suffer the most, because they feel like they’re being punished for something they have no control over. I have a feeling your friend is in for a bumpy ride if her new husband is that controlling. Don’t delete her. Keep being her friend. When she’s ready to sort things out for herself, she’s going to need a friend. Just because she and your brother ended their relationship, doesn’t mean your relationship has to end with her. It complicates it, because the kids will wonder why you’re at some family gatherings, and not other family gatherings, but you should be able to stay friends, as long as you respect the new boundaries of your friendship. Her new husband doesn’t want her including anyone in her new married life that was a part of her old married life, and she’s trying to respect his wishes right now, but she will come around. Give her time and space.
Don’t delete her or cut her off. Let her know that you miss her and that you understand. Also tell her if she ever needs you to reach out and you will be there for her.
Doesn’t remove her from your facebook or delete her phone number. You will regret it some day. Sounds like the person she married is a crazy loon. She will need you soon.
It sounds like she made the decision already but you could send a message saying I love you, I’ll always be here for you and the kids when and if you’re ready until then live you and take care. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing
Send her this post… x
I waited until mine reached out to me. She did in time and we have a great relationship to this day.
Keep reaching out. It definitely sounds like her husband is manipulative and abusive. It’s so hard, but let her know she is still loved.
Stay there for her. He sounds controlling so she’ll need u there when she needs someone to help he get out
Let her know ur there u care & love her & your nephews
Sad. Id send a sweet good bye message. Let her know ull always be there. The guy probably branwashed her. So shell need you one day.
Sounds like she married asshole number 2. He likely makes her miserable if she goes against his wishes. Seems he wants to isolate her. It’s easier to dominate someone who has no support. I’d let her know your door is always open if she needs you and that you miss her. It is very sad, and I doubt she thought this would happen but it has.
We’re closer to my sister’s ex Husband’s ex-wife. her boys will always be our family. my mom is still called grandma even through adulthood. They are a part of every family event. we’re closer to her than to him. Reach out to her and let her know that you will always be there for her no matter what and that you miss your friendship and that you hope that someday y’all can hang out together again no matter what happened between your brother and her. Let her know that nothing has changed for you on how you feel about her children. maybe she needs to hear that
Sounds like she is in an abusive relationship. Don’t cut her off, keep the door open.
Don’t delete or cut her off I have been in a very bad relationship it’s not you it’s the husband trust me. When she has had enough and leaves she will come to you.
I hate to say this but it sounds like she cut you off 
What if she is respecting her partner’s boundaries or his discomfort on the situation? Would you do something constantly that would make your partner uncomfortable? Every relationship is different and to each their own. If she wanted to, she would respond, why does the blame follow a “new” partner or automatically mean he is abusive? Respect someone’s choices which will either be communicated or via actions. Clearly if she isnt responding to you, that should be enough
Tell her how you feel in a message. She can either respond or not respond but at least you know that you tried.
He’s a controlling ass. When I divorced my ex almost all the family kept me.
You’ve reached out love. Shes allowing herself to be controlled and theres nothing anyone can do to change it. Let her know your hurt but she feels she needs this “love” for one reason or another.
I would keep reaching out. It doesn’t sound like it was something she wanted to do and if you keep reaching out one day she might really need someone and you’ll be there for het
I would just cut all ties walk away it seems she’s in a controlling relationship and she’s not leaving him anytime soon so just leave her and her son alone 
I would definitely reach out to her…it sounds like one of my past relationships where my ex made me stop all ties with the people I was closest to so that he had complete control over what I was doing and who I was hanging out with. If you know of any places that she would be alone and not with him maybe try running into her and talking then also. That may sound kinda crazy but that was the only time I could really talk to anyone.
That sucks. Hate people who do that when they get into relationships. I would let go.
He sounds manipulative and abuse if he is getting upset because your nephews stay over and you babysit. It’s just strange. You are allowed to have a relationship with her regardless of whether there is children or not. Of course having 2 kids to your brother is going to make her a huge part of your life. Maybe she is trying to figure out how to tell someone what she’s going through or maybe she doesn’t know she’s being abused but I wouldn’t stop reaching out
I would tell her how you feel. Let her know that you just want to be friends and you don’t want to come between her new partner and her.
I 100% agree with Nicci’s comment on this post. It seems very well that she’s not reaching out to you because of her husband, not because she doesn’t want to. Its quite sad that he wouldn’t allow such a beautiful friendship to continue between you and her.
I would keep the window of communication open but don’t push for anything or let it put a toll on you, if she reaches out she reaches out, if she doesn’t then thats okay too. Unfortunately, it may be the end of a valuable friendship if the husband doesn’t loosen up.
Continue reaching out periodically. Just a “hi, I was thinking of you and your family. Hope you are well”, sort of thing. She will probably need you one day.
She married the rebound. Shelm be back. Just give it time.
Send her a final message that if she ever needs you that you will be there for her.
I don’t know you but some how your on my Facebook. So I read your stuff sometimes. And I totally agree with the lady who text before me. Bekah is her name. I wouldn’t necessarily reach out to her cause you may upset him if he sees it even though she may not respond and He may harm her bit don’t cut her off either.OR send her one message that says no matter what you will always be available for her to contact if she ever decides to and leave it at that. Then dont block her erase her etc. She may need you one day to be her way out and if she does contact you , welcome her with open arms. Good luck . and pray for her.
If he’s controlling her, she may need your help later. Keep trying. Even if she can’t respond, she can take comfort in knowing that you are there. She may reach out when she needs help freeing herself from him. Or she’ll be your friend again when she kicks him to the curb.
My ex sister-in-law was my best friend before she married my brother. She has two boys that I love very much and still go to their birthday parties and such. The whole family treats me like family even when I didn’t talk to her for 13 years. When her mother died I realize that life is too shortTo stay angry and we made up. She is still my best friend. My brother was angry with me for years but I think he’s finally gotten over it. Thankfully, because I love my brother very much!
He’s trying to isolate her. Keep lines of communication open. She only knew him 8 months before they married, she may need you at a later date!
My sis in-law are still family even though her brother turned out to be prince toad ! Lol
We were best friends in jr high when I met her older brother, we consider ourselves family. We are still very close even though we live in different states, she comes to town she stays with me.
Not sure this is any help.
I know this feeling. I miss my exsil as well. I left there brother and we have 3 daughters together. crazy thing is that they don’t reach out to their nieces at all. the only way they know what is going on with the girls is through social media. you keep reaching out to her and your nephews. she knows that no matter what you will stand by her side. if you know where she lives maybe you can drop her sons present off to him. just remember the kids will know who was in there lives and that’s what matters
Have the same thing happen to me she only reaches out when he is not around and also i see my niece and nephews they stay with me they always be like can i sleep over and ofcourse they can but she’s changed so much he doesnt let her talk to any of us smh which is sad ill be dammes my current bf/husband tells me i can’t be in contact w my childs family its really ignorant of him he needs to grow up thats the passed like i always tell her smh
I would stay in touch through email or text but if such may be the situation that her husband is jealous, expect no response. Just keep praying and hoping she’s well and happy. Take care.
Reach out to her! Your friendship with her, has nothing to do with the end of her marriage to your brother. And btw…if her new hubby is trying to control who her friends are…this relationship probably won’t last long…
No. Wait for her to come around. Send your nephew his gifts. He needs to see mature love.
My mom is still friends with her ex sister in law. 20 years later…
I would keep trying or even meet him to and tell him she is my friend still and sooner or later.
Do not delete her just give her time sooner or later she will reach out to you
Let her be able to reach you any way she can just in case she will need your help
Most definitely keep communication open. He is controlling her and that can turn to abuse. She will need you
Classic abuser moves… Reach out…keep in touch.
Tell her you miss her and your nephew your saddened by losing them you dont’ want to cause her problems with her new husband so you’ll respect her wishes but if at any time she needs you your waiting. If it hurts to much to see them on fb you can just unfollow not un friend that way if you want to see how their life is going you can. Her husband obviously is controlling but you telling her that wont help
Her new marriage is not a healthy one. Her husband is way off base and obviously immature and insecure. I don’t see her marriage lasting long if she has any sense. Let her know that you love her and are always there for her. She is obviously afraid of her husband, which is not a good thing. Is her first son old enough to have email? Perhaps you could email him. Try to keep in touch with him because I doubt he likes his new step father and may need you.
Not to worry you, but abusive relationships often begin by isolating a person from loved ones. Text her and let her know how hurt you were, but that out of respect for her new marriage, you will step back. Just let her know that your phone/door is always open.
You probably can’t fix this. Jealousy to that extent is dangerous. His reactions are not about you. They are about who he is and he will suppress her every step of the way. It will probably only make it worse for her. She knows you love her. Sometimes, that has to be good enough.
If she is in touch with other friends and family, then I wouldn’t worry too much. Sounds like she is trying to move past the old routines before her new marriage. However, if everyone is on the same page and says she’s more isolated, start to reach out to her offering help. I wouldn’t reach out through social media or old accounts because he could have control over those. Try running into her in person. If she is distant or cold towards you when nobody is around, respect her peace and move on. Very sorry for the situation, but sometimes people just have to walk a different path. God Bless all of you❤
There is something going on a normal relationship is not telling you S.O. who they can or cannot see and doesn’t isolate other family members. I would let her know how you feel, let her know you love her and will always be there for her and the kids .Other then that not much you can do right now but be there to help her pick up the pieces when it blows up because it will one day. I’m sorry your hurting 
Well, it sounds like you’ve reached out already, and she doesn’t respond.
Sounds like her new husband is laying down the rules to her, and one is she does not talk to you.
That’s sad also.
You two had good times, friends come and go in life.
So it’s not a constant reminder, I personally would remove contact info of hers.
Who knows, maybe some day she will try to contact you.
If she is in an abusive relationship emotional or physical then the best thing you could do as her friend is keep reaching out even if you dont ever hear back. Keep her on your facebook. Let her know that you miss her and that she will always be your friend and you will always be there for her. Someday she may leave and she will need someone by her side. This is hard to do and hard to watch your messages being ignored. It may take years but she will need you one day.
Women who are in abusive relationships dont realize what’s happening they slowly give up friends, famiky, freedom and then hopefully they see they have lost everything and decide to leave. Some women wont leave because they have no one to turn to. If you stay consistent your giving your friend an “out” for when ever she is ready.
I would sent her a message or a note and tell her how much she means to you and that you would still like to have a relationship with her and her children, despite what happened between her and your brother. Then if she doesn’t respond you know that it is most likely over and you tried. Wish her well either way.
I would maybe reach out with a heart felt email or message on FB but if she doesn’t reach out I would leave it alone for now. If he is controlling who she is talking to then there may be more darker things going on in the relationship. I would hate for your actions to lead her to any harm. Once she wakes up then maybe she’ll reach out to you.
I only read the first sentence to be honest and already have my answer…your relationship with whomever has no ground or standing with any others…if you feel love for her and miss her, has Nothing to do with him! Nothing! If you miss her, reach out, it’s only between you and her, NOT him!!! We choose our own relationships either way and not to be based on another or circumstances…if you miss her, show her! I hope she reciprocates appropriately as such I’ve said and not based on her brother, if not you cannot help that either…but damnit write your own life story not him!!! Do what you can to be happy and if others won’t support? F them, but I hope for you and her…that she can feel what I’ve said…maybe you weren’t ever meant to be with him and a friend to her? Choose your own path! All others can just get out of your way!!! Do it! 
This is happening in my family too. I’m also one of the sister in laws. It’s a sad situation. The best way I’ve handled it is just having hope one day she’ll reach back out to us. I really miss my niece and my sister in law and hope my daughter and he daughter can have a relationship one day!!
Wow! My husband and I have been together 9 and a half years and married almost four and my sister in law and I are close as can be but she still speaks to his ex because they are friends, they aren’t as close as they used to be but I don’t discourage her from talking to his ex because it’s not my business and she knows how to keep the two relationships separate so it doesn’t effect my marriage at all. I think y’all should be able to be friends and still let the kids have a relationship also. If she isn’t responding just try back now and then so she knows you care but don’t bombard her and just pray that your nephew is ok and that she is ok and let her reach out when she’s ready. I don’t see a need to block her from what you have described. As far as the birthday gift goes maybe shipping it to her or leaving it at her parents or at her work that ensures he gets it and she gets her time to process everything.
Yes, send her a message; and I’m speaking from the experience of being an ex-sister-in-law. We still have a friendship - we just don’t discuss my ex.
They probably just need their own thing right now ,keep her number and keep her as FBI friends and you can always send a birthday card and maybe a gift card she will let him k omw it’s from you and if you love them believe me she will find a way to restore your relationship in time, I went through this with my sister in law and we still love each other brother and her been divorced over 20years
Almost sounds like she’s being alienated from her friends. I wouldn’t delete her but maybe on your nephews birthday each year text her that you care. If she is being alienated it will remind her that she matters and hopefully she will reach out.
I don’t know about reaching out to her again. I was married to his type for way too long. He is probably monitoring her phone and social media. It could cause things to escalate. Hopefully she will see things for what they are before it’s too late. She will then reach out to you. Until then, hang in there. Best wishes to you all.
Her new hubby is controlling. Just keep leaving her texts so she knows you care, one day she may need to reach out to you but sont be hounding. We have no idea whats going on in her life as to why she doesnt repky other than to keep peace with her hubby.
Sounds like he is isolating her from friends and family. Just because she’s divorced from your brother doesn’t mean you’re still not family.They gave children together. You’ll always be family .
Find out if others are in contact with her, friends or family if she’s communicating well with them, then I would just leave as it is, if others are having the same problem then she could be in a controlling relationship. In which case, try to run into her in person and talk to her.
Reach out & see what’s really going on. Is her new marriage in trouble? Is she sick? My brother started dating his 1st wife when I was 6 years old (he’s 11 years older then I am) they were married 23 years. His 2nd wife was a bit upset when i would talk to the 1st. I told the 2nd that the 1st was a sister to me for 30 years, she’s the mother of my niece & nephew & I can have a relationship with them both. I now do have a good relationship with them both.
I see domestic abuse going on. That’s one of the first things abusers do is isolate the intended victim. Reach out to her and keep after her express your concerns and if she answers back with some kind of help code do what you can to help her
the new husband sounds abusive – this is emotional abuse which will lead to other forms of abuse. he is controlling her and the control will only lead to worse things for her. hopefully, the letter writer can reach out to her to least let her know she is still there for her.
Her new husband could be the type of control freak that’s abusing her and her son. Contact her any way you can and just check up on them. If you feel she’s being honest and just doesn’t want any more contact with you then let it go. That’s what I would do. Good luck.
Explain to her your feelings, acknowledge her husband’s request and keep the option of the relationship open but let it be at her own will. Sounds to me like her marriage isn’t that grade already and she doesn’t need the added stress.
Stay in touch with her. Be there for her and the kids. If they grow away from you let it happen. But be there as long as they need you.