Listen to other family members. Her cousin wants the gravy but not the potatoes.
Contact your/your patients State Attorney General’s office and run all of this by them First, before you take her to the bank to make any changes .
Can a lawyer be poa? Such a hard position to be in, but if noone else is willing to step up for her then please do.
Her son, in my opinion, should be the one handling this. I’d definitely get an attorney involved. Maybe talk to the son along with another close friend or family member who is close to her. They could possibly handle everything together as a team. There has to be someone looking out for this woman’s best interest.
That being said, I’d also like to add, that as an adoptive parent myself, my kids are just that, mine. How long we’ve known each other, or how old they were when they were adopted is completely irrelevant. It does not make them any less my children. The fact that it was even mentioned is kind of a red flag to me. If any of my family members started trying to plant seeds of doubt as to what my children are entitled to, they’d be the first to get cut from any type of inheritance. In my opinion it should go, spouse, children, grandchildren, then siblings, cousins, etc. Immediate family should always come first.
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Get an attorney and get adult protective services to help you. You can have someone from the bank to be named POA . You can hire the attorney to be POA. But don’t let that cousin and her co-Hort anywhere near your client’s assets if you can help it. Keep the son informed of what is going on. Good luck.
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HIRE someone to be POA
If the son wants to protect her he needs to get it. Make the person with POA go get the bank accounts because if they get caught with fraudulent documents it’s not a mess on your hands
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See an attorney who will serve as POA and sort out the cousins.
Call adult protective services.Tell them the situation.
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Lord please work in this situation for the best. You know what need to be done. If they not wanting to help, they don’t deserve it at all.
She needs to contact a lawyer & remove everybody from her well & start over with redoing her will due to things in general & that people change with time and that she no longer feel’s comfortable with the way things we’re before @ one time, she has that right to change her mind & her will & be @ peace with her final decisions with her will & any assets that she may have. the lawyer will then help her to protect everything meaning her assets and anything else that will be divided up. good luck & God bless.
You don’t leave legal authority to do anything! Do not get caught in the middle and wind up in jail.
Go to the police and let them sort it out
get a lawyer. Most of them have a free consultation (15 mins 1/2 hour). go explain all this.
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I would definitely seek help from a lawyer. It sounds to me like these people don’t care about her wishes and just want the money. Her son needs to take control that is his responsibility not yours
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Is there a case worker you can speak with? That might be your best bet. I don’t know how everything where you are works exactly. But where I used to work. We had a case worker that we would go talk to when we needed someone to kind of advocate for our clients. That’s who I would go talk to if it were me. But a lawyer might be the next best bet. I am just not sure how you would go about that given the circumstances. But if you talk to one. They might be able to help too or point you in the right direction of getting help.
You are a home care provider that’s where your authority stops it is your responsibility to care for your client and your clients everyday needs and health etc. It is not your responsibility to do anything with her financials. It is your job to ensure her safety and care that includes reporting her family to the appropriate authorities so that they can deal with it and get things set right because power of attorney does not always have to be someone you know after calling the necessary people and an investigation being done the state may assign her a power of attorney someone neutral and not attached to the situation to look over her things and ensure her financial well being an her personal care especially if they find that none of the family members are willing to take over the responsibility or find reason/cause that they are incapable of having said clients best interest at handed.
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Go to an elder care attorney n report it. Have the attorney listed as POA. You say the adopted son has only been around 30 years. Lol. What do you want. That’s a long time
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Aps can provide someone called a guardian ad litem to help her with things like this. They will basically be her poa
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Personally I wouldnt change the bank accounts . If she has power of attorney she has access to the accounts already and the bank will want to see proper legal paperwork before they take action.
If the lady has early stage dementia she probably has many times when she’s perfectly lucid and capable of seeing a lawyer. You can explain the circumstances to her lawyer and have him visit her home to see her and decide if he feels she is capable of changing her will.
I understand you’re her carer but also her friend so you want to help…but really its a lawyer she needs . If there’s no legal documents giving her poa then she has no rights at all.
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This is why it will only be me and my sister (we are the only children) looking after my mama. Can’t trust anybody.
Get an elder care attorney and get her a elder guardian ad litem.
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How did she get POA? If its signed by the owner of the acct and a judge its legal. A lawyer would have to go to court to prove its not in her best interest to be her POA and someone else has to step up and do it.
Can’t you get her a guardian of the court to do all that
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Go take her to an attorney that does wills and estates, ask her in front of the attorney to decide who her executor of the estate will be. In some cases an attorney can do that and be sure that everything is done legal and to her wishes. No one should get her money if they want to behave in such an uncaring manner waiting for her to die. Unfortunately unless it is all legally done it can be contested. An attorney would be able to do the paperwork work have it filed at the courthouse so no one can argue that it is set legally and properly get it done soon. Before she doesn’t know what she is signing or saying. Good luck.
DON’T DO IT… Talk to her attorney who drew up her will. She is not mentally able to make any changes. You are only the caregiver and friend, you can get into serious trouble. I wouldn’t even talk to the cousins. They are just after her money. Stay away from them.
Listen to your gut feeling on this. My adopted Mom was robbed for hundreds of thousands of dollars by someone who mismanaged her money.
Wow. Ok. As far as revocation of the POA, either you, if you’re comfortable, or an attorney CAN act as POA on her behalf. As everyone else has urged, DO NOT so as the cousin is asking. It’s illegal, and she’s wanting you to do it so that her hands are clean once it’s done. If she really DID have POA legally, she’d have come and done this herself. Be an excellent friend and so not follow through on the cousins wishes. And damn sure don’t mess with her will!! She wrote it how she wanted it, and due to the dementia, there’s no going back now. Honestly, if it comes down to it, have the cousin provide evidence of being POA. She won’t be able to, because it isn’t legal. Also, a bank wouldn’t allow you to do what she’s asking, anyway. If you have any more questions, please pm me
I would go along with her will. I assume she did the will before she was sick. She decided to leave the bulk to her son (doesnt matter if he was adopted or not), not to the cousin.
The issue is she will need a POA once the cousin is removed so someone will need to step up
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Go to an attorney ask if you can be her guardian and take over, if your willing. Or social worker for more advice. Good luck.
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Do not get involved under any circumstances and advise the family to get an attorney
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See a lawyer and see if lawyer can be POA
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So who pays you to take care of her?
Go and take her to talk to her Attorney a will is not safe let her talk to him about a Trust,but do like the others said don’t talk to her cousins,they will get you involved if they should take it to court,.
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Adult protective services gave you some good advise. Myself, before doing anything, would be to retain a lawyer who specializes in wills and financial assets. Has Diana had a diagnosis of dementia from a physician? People with early stages can still make decisions for themselves-depends on the type of impairment. Lawyer can also help, along with Doctor. Get that lawyer NOW! You don’t want to be in the middle of this and accused of wrong-doing. Her family sounds only interested in her money and not her welfare! 
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You will be in trouble call police make a report them call gov agency
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Also a POA is no good if she passes away it dies with her.
Do not do…call lawyer…
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Then it’s time to lawyer up and do what is in the best interest of your client
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Absolutely stay out of it.
You could be Accessory to fraud if they want it done let them do it they have the power of attorney
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That is not your job. Call APS. Immediately.
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Don’t get involved!! Get her an Attorney, if her son is legally adopted, then he should be taking care of this!
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On one of her lucid days, ask her what it is that she wants to do.
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POA paperwork must be notorized and most banks require copies of that. I had to show my POA paperwork that was prepared by an attorney and then notarized along with my mother physically being at the bank just to add myself to my mother’s bank account. My POA ended when my mother passed away and then everything went according to her Will which named my sister the executor of her estate. A nursing home costs about $6600/ month without something like Medicaid paying for it so that wouldn’t be a way for anyone to take the money. Medicaid would only cover it if Diana’s total assets were under $5000 which from what you have said are way above that amount. Other states may be different my overall advice would be to stay out of it since you aren’t a family member.
Get her a really good attorney, hand over any and all evidence and make sure whoever is appointed is someone that can be trusted with her well-being. Then I would remove myself from the situation and continue with her care. It’s really all you can do unless you decide you want to be the POA. I believe you can hire a third party as trustee of her estate/will. The important thing is maintaining her needs and protecting her assets
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Definably lawyer and the law for sure. Sounds like the state needs to step in .
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Her son or anybody else can protest that will and it can be protested because my dad’s going through the same thing right now through public court his wife had a will left everything to him but now her daughter has decided she wants her part which was some money left to her and my dad was going to give it to her till they came over there and threatened to whoop his ass and all this and now ain’t no telling how long it’s going to take in probate court before my dad can even sell his house I wouldn’t put nobody power of attorney that didn’t come and see her or help with her they don’t need nothing her son deserves it all and I’m also a caretaker of my brother and my sister have her son appoint you power of attorney
Uh no. It’s not your job to do so. I would call a lawyer or talk to whoever is powr of attorney of them and tell them what’s happening
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A POA has fiduciary duty to the person and can get in sooo much trouble taking advantage of that position. They will have to keep an accounting to show where money goes.
I work in long term care insurance and a lawyer can be POA as well. They would be more equipt to assist her. There are also elderly social workers. My sister works in her county as a social worker for the elderly. There are a lot of resources. Do jot let this cousin do this to the poor woman.
Elder attorney in place to ensure her funds aren’t taken however willy nilly this family wants. How sad…when my mama talks about not spending all of her money so my sister and I will have what’s left, we emphasize and encourage her to spend it and enjoy it. We don’t want her money, we want her to be around for as long as the Lord will let us have her.
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Am I understanding this correctly? It sounds as though Diana had a baby, gave him up for adoption, and then they reconnected 30 years ago. That being the case, he is no longer legally her next of kin. In either case, this is way out of the scope of a home care aide. APS does need to be contacted. They can guide you to resources for her to make sure that she is protected and her wishes are carried out.
Speak with a lawyer.
Now
Also, when Diana is lucid, speak with her
But, get her a lawyer immediately.
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Senior citizens have rights and you need to call social services and have an attorney appointed to her or this woman will clean her out .
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Don’t let her get away with that!
Happened to my great aunt…do not do it!
Get the poor lady a lawyer.
APS can do this, tell them you do not want it
Honestly speaking from a medical point. If she is still able to make some decisions. You said cousin got POA illegally get her a lawyer. The lawyer can make all decisions if she wants him/her too. She can have her will done and everything with lawyer. I’ve seen it done. As a caregiver you don’t want anyone saying you did anything illegal yourself and jeopardize your license. Call social worker to guide you as well. Definitely do not touch that money without legal help.
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Get an independent POA then nobody can accuse you of doing exactly what they are doing - waiting for her cash. It would better going to a cats home than leeches who don’t care about her getting it! Poor lady I hope you can help get something sorted that is what she would want 
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If she is still of sound mind, she can revoke the POA.
If no one wants to be POA and Diana is still able to make decisions…then she can request the POA to be removed. She can do so by signing a POA removal or simply writing a letter stating she has not given nor will give X POA over her. Have that notarized and provide a copy to her banks.
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sounds like the cousin is shady…you should not be involve in any of these transactions and since she has a son he should be handling all of this!! I would stay out of it!!
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If you are there to take care of her health that’s all. You aren’t there to handle that stuff. Lady needs a lawyer
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Call Agency on Aging and ask that for a lawyer to take her case before a judge so a guardian ad litem can be put into place to look after this lady’s interests. You have no authority, nor, I should think, do you want any.
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Do not sign anything, don’t take her to the bank. Call elder abuse
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No run away from this DO not do this you will be called into Court ! Absolutely No
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Get her a legal guardian who will be her POA. That can be you, but I’d suggest a lawyer. As someone said, act quietly while she can still make her wishes known & can still sign her name. If she doesn’t have a specific dementia diagnosis you should be able to proceed OK.
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find out who her lawyer is & maybe talk to that person & explain just what is going on, Her son is the only one that really deserves to get anything, Her cousins are greedy. Also talk to Diana & just see what she fully understands & if her Dr can clear her now with her mental stability, maybe changing her will is the best. And maybe the lawyer she hired to do her Will. let him handle her money for now. But she fully has to understand all of this. You have no right to revoke any POA. Unless Diana wants you to do this. Again talk to her, explain what is going on, If she isn’t fully understanding this, let it go. But continue to let the social worker for the aging , just what is going on
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YOU are under NO obligation to do this! DO NOT DO IT! IMO, call APS IMMEDIATELY to protect this woman’s assets, including and probably most importantly her money! Looks like most replying are in agreement, do not do it! Good luck!
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Get a lawyer involved, the bank and lawyer can help with getting a POA to handle all the money.
APS and their attny can help
Get a tv report of her favorite channels from the tv station and have her rewatch the tv shows with her family members or even herself.
Take on an actual vacation.
It may be your calling to help before.she gets robbed blind at least temporary…why doesn’t her son want to do it at least with you
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Do not sign anything do not do anything talk to your supervisor to see what you’re supposed to do that way you don’t get in trouble so you can cover your own but in case something illegal happens they’re probably by the sounds of what you said or trying to take advantage of this poor elderly woman in to take her money do not let that happen if anything legal needs to happen they need to have some sort of proof something talk to your supervisor don’t do anything without supervisors input
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sstay out of it it is a scam
Kind of had situation like this , but you have to take a side with This
You should not be speaking to strangers about this on Facebook! I really hope you changed the ladies name in your post or you are in violation of hippa laws! Instead of asking in a moms group on Facebook contact adult protective services in your area. They can get help fir your client. You are a mandatory reporter and this is obviously someone trying to take financial advantage. Adult protective services will help!
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Elder Abuse! It is illlegal and if she cant provide documentation they will not let her open new accounts without signatures
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Elder Abuse is illegal. Speak to a lawyer that deals with Elder Abuse Cases. Call APS as well.
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Organise a legal guardian for her. Sounds like none of these people should be POA.
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Ask for legal help!!!
Call adult protective services and they will let the judge sort it out!
Do not open that account or you may be considered an accessory!
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You are required by law to report 
or you will be looking at being charged !! Second you need to report to immediately first state needs to step in immediately worst that happens is the take over power of attorney over fir her and get her a legal representation all assets and the will stay the same no changes will be added so son who was raised by Diana will receive inheritance
Her son sjouke her heir for a start.
Revoke the POA if you feel the cousin is shady. APS told you to do so. Have her solicitor become the POA. Someone who has nothing to gain.
It needs to be done.
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You talked to APS they told you to revoke the POA and to call a lawyer. Do that. You do not have to become POA. Someone from the state can be appointed to protect her interests. Do not let this woman be taken advantage of.
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If they are put on her bank account that gives them direct access to her money. DO NOT DO THAT ! I agree with other comments about calling APS , Social Services … They may be able to appoint an Ombudsman and/or guardian for her. If she is in early stages of dementia , she can also take a cognitive test to see if she is of sound mind to change her will. Definitely seek help for her !
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Report Report Report elder abuse!!! Revoke the POA. Diana will be given a guardian through protective services and her last will she drew up legally will be honored. While protecting her asserts know while she is still living.
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Its not your business but if you’re that concerned go to the police
You shouldn’t take her to make any changes to anything without consulting the agency you work for too make sure you don’t get sued and have her son contact a lawyer and unless a judge court orders it… you do nothing anyone tells you to do when it comes to a persons affairs. You are the caregiver for her health and well-being, not to cater to anyone’s whims or changes and if the woman has been declared mentally unfit, you continue to document and inform your employers responsible contact and your agency.
Adopted children are protected can not be taken out of anything,I know because I was adopted. One man tried to get my dads property, which we would have been left out. Wrong , Adopted child have more rights than legal kids.
yes get legal help. But try to settle out 0f court, lawyers will take a huge hunk of the money.
Call cops, don’t do anything at the bank. Report this to adult services.
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You can do POA yourself and divide assets. It would be best for her and not let the shady cousin take everything. But do it soon!
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DO NOT DO IT … if anything is amiss it will all be on YOU!
Hire a great lawyer one all of you can trust and let him be the POA. One person as a member of the family can NOT do it…. They will always be hard feelings. Divide all equally
Yes do the POA yourself. As her carer it’s your responsibility to take care of her and that includes her assets. You are on the scene and know what’s needed. Also although families do divest their parents and duck shove them into places to die quickly and quietly they should not raid her assets until she’s passed over.
Adult protective services can have a court appoint a guardian over her. I would contact a lawyer and go from there.
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