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QUESTION:
"Is it okay to feel bad about how my body looks? I've been married for 9 years I have two children aged 8 and 6 and I've been crying for two years because of the way my body looks. After my two babies, nothing is the same I have never felt like this. I don't know how normal this is but inside I feel like I lost myself I don't know who I am and what I want. My head keeps saying you look disgusting."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"I feel like this totally normal, unfortunately. Your body will never go back to how it was before kids… but just remember your body is amazing. You were your kids' first home, & what woman’s bodies can handle is amazing. I know it’s easier said than done, but you’re beautiful. What is it that you don’t like? Needing to lose weight? Extra skin? Focus on your diet, don’t hold back on foods you like but eat smaller portions of it. Lots of water. Take your vitamins. Look up at home workouts on YouTube. Extra skin can be very hard to deal with…maybe save up money for surgery? There’s also (I forgot what it’s called so I’m going to say lingerie) that can help hold everything in. Do things for self-care - get your nails done, hair done, buy a cute matching bra and underwear set, get a massage, do your make-up every day. It really can be small things that make you feel better about yourself. xx"
"I’ve felt the same way since having my 4th baby… I started drinking a gallon of water a day, cut out all sweets and heavy carbs, and just eat healthier as well as walking or jogging on my treadmill an hour a day, and honestly, it’s done wonders for my mental health. I think it’s normal to go through this. Hang in there mama!"
"I suggest you start doing something to boost your confidence. Doesn’t have to be going to the gym or anything of that sort unless that’s what you choose to do. It can simply be going to do things that make you happy, doing self-care, go out and buy a bunch of clothes that make you feel great!"
"Maybe talk to someone. Feeling low in self-confidence isn't super out of the ordinary, but feeling like you lost yourself seems more like depression. And remember, us mommas are hotttt too!!"
"Go for therapy. This is interfering with your life. Learn to love yourself. Save for plastic surgery if you must. No one looks the same after pushing out a whole human. That’s why there are “Juniors” and “Misses” clothes. You are more womanly now."
"Talk to a therapist. And talk to yourself better! Maybe even start an exercise routine, and take progress pictures."
"I bet you look great! Our brains just lie to us. Have you considered therapy to help you move through this issue? Are you healthy? That’s what really matters!"
"Sounds like you may have depression. Losing self-esteem after having kids is normal. But expecting your body to feel like it did before kids is kind of unrealistic. Crying about it isn't going to help, I mean it did nothing for the past two years."
"Firstly It’s quite common! So stop worrying that there is something wrong with you. Then Stop thinking about how your body looks and start thanking it for what it can do. Drink water and eat healthier. What we put into our bodies matters, that includes what we watch on tv, who we talk to and how we think! Learn how to dress your new shape in a way that makes you feel good, take up an old hobby, have some me-time (without being a mum), and practice saying out loud 3 positive things about yourself every time you have a negative thought. Sending hugs x"
"Just keep your head up and try to take It slow… your body is amazing cuz It made two little humans and that’s pretty damn impressive and I would just do things that make you happy and just enjoy life… our bodies go thru crazy changes to birth a child and it’s not gonna be perfect so just love it!!"
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