What advice or suggestions do you give a single mom who has to work and make money but also doesn’t trust having their child in daycare of any more… I’m at a loss. He’s 2.5, but I can’t trust any one to take care of my child and not lie about how they’re treating him. But I myself am also a better mom when I’m working and not with him every minute of the day. For over 1.5 years now, he goes to daycare Mon-Fri while I work 8 am to 5 pm then we get Saturdays and Sundays together. I don’t know what to do any more. He’s sick all the time, I call out of work all the time. He’s having more and more behavioral issues. He was supposed to start new daycare in a week (5/31) but I’m hesitant to even do that. Are they going to treat him poorly too and/or lie about it? He’s going to keep getting sick then I have to continue to miss work and not make money all while the cost of living is skyrocketing. I’m so close to the edge. I want to quit my job and just completely get him out of child care, but then I also have to pay my bills so I have to do something for work. And I’m not built to be a stay-at-home mom either. I did that for the first 10 months. I feel so defeated…
You need to let go a little… or find someone like a family friend who watches children… that’s what I did
Try and get a remote job maybe work from home. Try a baby instead of daycare , where they come to your home. Also you didn’t make him alone, get help from the father even it’s just child support
Kids get sick, no way around it… Daycare and school . Look for a more flexible job or find a friend who can watch him as needed. Maybe talk to someone about your anxiety.
I so get this. I have 2 kids. An almost 4 and almost 3 yr old (Irish twins). My almost 4 yr old has severe autism and health issues and with covid and not having reliable family, I have been at such a loss. The only thing I’ve been able to come up with is to start a home business crafting and cooking and selling it all. I’ve yet to begin because just starting up takes so much money and time. I know exactly what you’re going through and how hopeless it feels. I truly wish you the best. So many people tell me to just get over it, I can’t even stomach that response. I get it. I hope if anything this comment just helps you feel heard. Much love to you and your little family
Maybe work part time and try and find a daycare that’s recommended by other parents that you know. Good luck
Kids in daycare or school will get sick. Not way around it without improving diet.
If you’re fear is crippling like that, you need therapy.
Investohate the new place. Go visit and watch how they treat the kids. Then decide.
My twin works from home via hub.com
Maybe find a job where they have a day care there. Or work at the same daycare as your kid. Find trusted like minded people in your area go to a.park or something to find someone. Idk…
Are you able to get a nanny in perhaps?
Maybe offer to pay a retired friend or family member? They’re on a fixed income and could use extra income. They’re settled and mature…
As much as it sucks no matter what childcare or school you send kids or who you have watching them they are also bound to get sick, they are germ magnets!! In my personal opinion I don’t think taking him away from daycare would be good as it’s going to impact on not just social skills but other skills as well
Find a daycare with cameras, you can log in anytime all day and watch what’s going on
I usually work 6/7 am-10/10:30 am then spend a few hours with my daughter & then try to work some more once I pick up my son from school. Sometimes I also work 9 pm-10:30 pm, on our good days. I do have my aunt come every now & again. I’m also really thinking about hiring someone from that care website to watch my daughter at home while I work a bit longer from home. My daughter usually sleeps until 10/10:30 am. LiveOps is pretty flexible, especially if you take calls for a 24 hour call center with them.
Maybe get a work from home job…
Kids get sick when together as they take 3x longer than adults to get over colds and are sharing far more than just toys. It’s building their immune system but if they don’t have a temperature or d&v then they don’t need to be sent home. Why do you feel they lie to you? If you have cause for concern then you need to speak to management
I get how u feel. But here’s somethings u can do with the daycare. First research your daycare. Second ask a lot of questions. Don’t be scared to ask. If they don’t want to answer walk out. Ask them what there accreditation is. That is what the state gives them once year. If its low walk out. Ask who is his teacher going to be. Ask for her background check and ask what her credentials are. Third ask if they have cameras in the classroom. This is so u can check on him throughout the day. I know a lot of this because I used to work in daycare
Find a day care that has live streams and updates that you can actively check in on and be able to hold them accountable. They’re out there. I hope you find one.
I did child care when my kids were little, so I could be with my children.
You are not alone with this situation.
You can try to find a babysitter who is able to take care of him at your place, and you can set cameras that you can monitor from your phone .You can even try to find a job that you can do from your place and have the sitter to watch him while you are working at a separate room.
You can also find a daycare with life streams cameras, my sister did that and she , me and my mom were able to have the app on our phones and check on him anytime we want it
Look into a headstart program.
Your son is having Separation Anxiety i know you stated you are not built to be a stay at home mum but you must make your son feel safe and secure by staying home just until he is about 5 years old he misses you dearly. My mother did this when i was young since i had reflux as a baby she stayed home with me until i was 5 years old. Could your parents possibly look after your son while you go to work or any other family member I believe your son isn’t yet comfortable with going to daycare so soon. Hope my advice has been helpful to you
Have you thought about a remote job?
Yeah if he is around other kids he will get sick. You could work from home or hire a babysitter and put cameras in your home.
I was the same way when my kids were little. I didn’t even let some family or friends watch mine. There’s no way I could put them in daycare. It sounds like you don’t have much of a choice.
Get a job where you can work from home. Really watch your budget so you can work less and spend time with your child.
The only thing that occurs to me is taking a night shift job and having a person come sleep at your house and be there in case your child needs anything during the night. I did this when my kids were young. Now I’m not able to work nights. I was tired all the time. It was brutal. But I was able to hire three high school girls for an inexpensive amount to come stay with my kids. My kids slept well, then I was home during the day. I was zoned out on the couch… half asleep and half awake, except for meals while they played, but I was there. I worked 4 nights a week. When I had days off, we would go to the park, watch special shows on TV and pop popcorn, have pop. The kids would do my hair. We would read books. Do all sorts of stuff. But when I worked, it was pretty hard. So I suggest you try to get over your aversion to day care. Try to find a reputable place. Google. Read reviews. I read where some have cameras where you can check in during the day. It’s preferable to what I had to do.
Start the new daycare. Don’t be scared of things you haven’t tried.
Yes he will continue to get sick that’s how kids build up their immune system
Do you have any close friends or relatives that would be willing to take care of him for you while you work who may be stay at home parents? You could offer them weekly pay to cover groceries or whatever. I found it comforting when I knew who was watching my kiddos.
Why don’t you try and get a job working from home
Can you get references on the Daycare it seems to me you should be able tO do yOur due diligence
Open a registered daycare out of your home. You will make around 12k/month. Hire someone to work part time to help with the kids. Let your child by under their supervision while they are there so you sort of get a break. So you are home, and your child is taken care of, but you get a little break… if that makes sense.
If that’s not your cup of tea, ask people that you do know and trust for the best daycare. Show up one day, without calling and check the place out. Are the kids happy, clean-ish? Are the facilities up to standards? Ask to observe the lesson that day. There are some amazing places out there, and then there are some that are not.
I know Texas has a website that you can look up the facilities and it will show you the results of their inspections, any complaints, etc.
Unfortunately… sadly… unfairly… and also unaffordable, so many people are going through this exact same situation. So where do you live? I may have a good person for you.
I had a professional corporate jinn when I had my first. I had another 2 1/2 years later. I became a stay at home mom. I was married. I stocked groceries at night so I could have my own spending money. Maybe try that or another night job. However you have to sleep at some point. I was fortunate enough that my MIL lived next door and I could get some sleep. Prayers hugs and love wishing you the best.
I worked night shift and mom watched my 3 kids while they slept. Before they were in school, I would get off work, sleep on my mom’s couch until the kids got up and that’s all the sleep I got. Then when they started school, I would go to bed after I got them onto the bus. Did that for 10 years. You do what you have to do.
Work out your issues with your individual therapist and take a job where your kid is with you.
Start your own daycare it’s what I did because I trusted no one
Become a school bus driver. It’s a job that allows you to take your own children on the bus with you. Both my kids learned to talk at an early age because my students would talk to them, read to them and sing songs with them. You also get discounts when you take students on school trips. I took mine to Casa Loma, the Ontario Science Centre, Blue Jays games, Wonderland, Wasaga Beach…and got paid to stay there with my bus for the trip back to the school.
I run an in home daycare
Make sure you are using a licensed daycare. Call the licensing agency and ask for information on violations. Go to Yelp and look at reviews.
All kids are going to get sick at daycare. It is like work: no one does the morally correct thing staying home or keeping their children home, when sick or at least when contagious.
Is your child up to date on vaccinations? There are over 200 viruses and no vaccines for most so you do need to teach your child about good hygiene.
Is there a family member who can watch your child once or twice a week? Has your child had an assessment by the pediatrician?
Just some thoughts and ideas for you.
Why don’t u find a sitter or nanny u can trust instead of daycare.
He’s going to get sick. That’s part of life. It’s better now for him to get a couple colds instead of when he goes to actual school. Builds his immune system. When you say they are treating him poorly what do you mean is it just the sickness you say they are treating him poorly about or is there other issues?
Your child’s immunity is building up.
They’re going to get sick in school as well. It doesn’t mean he is necessarily being mistreated.
You can’t just take and run over illness. Everyone can get sick, anywhere and at anytime.
I’m a Mom and I think you may be overreacting just a bit.
I know where I live some of the daycares have cameras so that you can watch your kids at any time and see what is going on. Can you try to find a place like that? Also, I’m a single mom. I was able to get assistance to help with child care. Your baby is going to get sick. Their immune system is building up. Can you find a job where you can work from home if you need to if he is sick? I know it is overwhelming but take it one step at a time. If you try to figure it out all at once you will get very overwhelmed. Good luck!!!
He’s almost 2… “terrible two’s”… what behavior issues??
My child is sick all the time, she started getting sick even before starting her day care. I took her to the hospital all the time because I can’t see her like that. The doctors say they are covid time babies and were stuck at home for so long so now they are catching every virus and they’ll continue getting sick like that for the next few months and there is nothing they can do!!
You can’t do it alone. Maybe therapy to help you carry it?
Find a private home daycare or a relative you can trust￼
Work from home jobs. Customer service and building loads for fuel hauling companies are two that I know of that will train you
Put them in Head Start it’s free
Be a nanny n you can bring him with you.
Hire someone to come into to your home and watch him.
My son’s gets sick allot too he’s missed some days of school due that but kids getting sick is ok it builds the immune system
Daycare find a private in home one with a smaller group of kids. Probably best idea case you’re right you have to work things are going up hints why I live so minimal to keep things going.
My daughter is in kindergarten and didn’t really get the whole day care experience because of covid. She has been sick a lot because she is building up her immune system. Our school wants to keep kids home if they have a runny nose, cough or anything else…but there are parents who are going to send their kids to school/daycare no matter what because they have to work and can’t afford to not go. But the first few years of being in daycare/school they are going go to be building up their immune system which means getting sick more often than when they are older. My daughter has had a few colds, the flu and even covid since she started school. All of which she most likely got at school because I didn’t get the flu and I tested positive 3 days after her…along with a classmate that was out the week she got sick. It doesn’t mean anyone is treating you child poorly, it means your child is interacting with others and being a kid. All you can do is try and teach him how to properly wash his hands and to not touch his face…which is almost impossible at that age. If your child is happy and likes going I wouldn’t worry about it…cuz unless you are going to homeschool, it’s eventually going to happen. Good luck Mama
I’d, personally, see if I could find a babysitter who watches only him. Kids get sicker so much more in daycare and pre-k so I didn’t send my kids to one, either. You could also look into remote work.
I just went through this for 10 years if u can stay home till they in school just do it I missed my first twos growth didn’t miss my last 3 and I wish it was the same for all 5
There are many of us who have utilized daycare. Are we all bad moms like you think you would be if you did the same? You’re gonna have to get over it.
I have this problem, that I don’t trust anyone with my kids. So, I start doing Home Daycare at my house. That way, I can work while watching my own kids too. Been doing for 26 years, and retired 2 years ago. It’s been a fun and fulfillment job.
You will be the best judge of what is good for your child. There are folks that truly love and respect
a child’s needs and are invested in helping you to meet them.
I’ve been blessed to be able to invest myself in the care of many children…they are now, all grown but remain precious to us…our family.
Keep looking!..it is so important to your child, you and there caretaker… Don’t discount the grandparent types…many of us and especially some invested loving couples can go a long way to making a child happy,loved and cared for in our home…what is important, is some respite as well. Sometimes we have comittments to meet as well. They may need back up support, as well. Godspeed.
Being home with your child and seeing their firsts is the best and if you don’t have to work start going to work when they go fulltime to school…
l get paid over $165 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18517 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
M0re Info. https://amazingpay129.pages.dev/
Find a job you can take them with you. I am a PCA and I take my kids to work. I make decent money too.
Try getting a job from home.
I babysit for my friend so I don’t have to worry bout it. I’ll be helping watch them the next 2 yrs til they start school. She makes sure to pay me enuf for my rent and even helps me get things if I’m short for groceries and cleaning supplies if my bills add up to more that week…maybe see if there’s a family member or friend who needs help and look up how many kids you can take without being certified then you can control what your kid and theirs is learning
Work at a day care and take your child with you
There are so many remote jobs now. Join the fb groups for the postings.
Work in childcare and get a discount?
Deep breath mama. I’m a single parent of three kids. I understand. Try the new place. Or try to find someone to stay at your home and watch your little one. Summer is starting soon and lots of kids are going to be looking for jobs. Goodluck!!
My daughter use to catch everything. I started giving her elderberrie gummies daily they have really helped her. Look into it. I was like u too and always have myself anxiety because I didn’t want to leave her with anyone. She’s been in head start and has learned so much they do early learning classes too something u may look into as well. Good luck being a mom is so hard because all we do is worry. Just pray god will guide u
Take a deep breath. I know it’s hard. I had to put my 6 week old babies in full-time daycare because I worked. I lived in a huge city with no relatives nearby. God Bless you and your little boy. You can do it!
Hire a private sitter
Can you work from home and get a babysitter that will come to you so your little one is still under your roof?
The best option for you in this case would be to find a work from home job and hire someone to come into your home to watch him
When you are anxious around your child, they will be anxious too. Give you little one self confidence…and he will do so much better.
My son has always had a hard time being away from me. I’ve had him in a couple of daycares, one for about two weeks and one for a couple of months, and he did not do well. About a year ago I pit him into daycare again, because I also have to work, and this time he flourished there. I don’t get daycare assistance, so I have to pay out of pocket. There are cheaper daycares in the area, but he literally LOVES the people at his current daycare, and they make him feel loves too. It’s scary trusting somebody else with your child, but the new daycare might be all that your son needs. I’d give it a shot.
Find a daycare that will let you visit for a few hours not just 15 minutes… offer to volunteer at the daycare one or two days a week to see what it’s really like. Or have someone come to your home and set up Nanny cams connected to your phone
It’s hard these days ! I don’t know what my daughter would have done . I’ve watched all three of her boys since birth they’ve never had a babysitter. My oldest grandson is 13 then 8 an 19 months .
Summer is just about here. Maybe you can find an older teen or college student to watch him for now. Just check references and spend time with them with your son several times before leaving alone. See how they interact with your kid and how your son acts for her
I suggest a regular daycare with cameras and background checks not anyone home
So many options!
Get someone to babysit in your home & install cameras!
Some daycares have live feed cameras, parents can watch while there child is attending.
In home daycare instead of an actual daycare where they don’t have so many children & ur child could be watched better.
Do door dash and take him with you .
Not all daycares are bad! The first daycare my youngest was in was not bad so to say the problem was the director but let me tell you the one he’s in now I love. I call her family she’s amazing! You have to find the right one!
Work at the daycare?
Been their I know that feeling the system was absolutely not made for single moms right now the inflation is out of control look for a daycare that does cameras my cousin found one where they installed cameras through out the entire facility but that being said if you can hold on a little longer when he turns three get him into !!EARLY HEAD START!!! ECAP!! program they are all over the country all of my children attended for two years and I loved loved it they go half or full days to help struggling parents and children build a good base for school all while having a lot of fun the school seriously is set up for the teachers to be helicopter moms is and completely monitored big time very safe I did policy Coucling for them state representative parent community member all kinds of stuff you can acutely get a job their to and work while his in class they really have some amazing systems set up just go find one get him registered start now and they can help with resources good luck momma ps I was working and going to school full time I used the extra FASFA state grants to
Cover bills and finish my degree all while not collecting debt super helpful
Get cameras and Hire someone
Drive a school bus and take him with you. Most bus contractors allow moms to drive and take their kids. You do have to put a car seat on the bus, but that’s not so difficult. The contractor can assist you with that.
Kids get sick. Its how they build immunity. What do you mean they treat him bad? Like how? What are they lying about? Honestly without details it sounds like you are paranoid and just don’t trust them.
Are you able to work nights. And if you are able to work nights you can if possible take him to your parents. Or try to see if you can find a job from home.
I also don’t and won’t ever trust a daycare.
My son was always sick when he was little. He needed to have his tonsils and adenoids removed plus tubes in ears (did this twice). I would suggest having your child seen by an ENT to see if maybe this is an issue for your child as well. It might not be anyone’s fault, but simply just a part of life.
What helped me was finding an in home daycare my son got sick alot in public daycare
My daughter left her job at an orthodontist office and went to work at my grandsons day care( just in a different room) to keep an eye on him and make some money at the same time, she did take a little pay cut but it is worth it in the end.
I would go with a nanny or an in home caregiver
Maybe try changing the schedule. Try finding a bartending or serving job and only work Fri-Sun. Go to a bigger city where you’ll make enough in those 3 days to pay your bills. You can find those kinds of jobs where you’ll make more doing that in 3 nights than a full time job.
You could also hire a babysitter to watch him in your home on the weekends you work and set up cameras.
Investigate several child care places,call them during day,ask to be notified of illnesss in the center,you can ask for photoes during his care also.You are experiencing normal Mothers issues, relax,remember you are the boss and talk to the actual caregiver
We all have gone through it. It’s much harder now than it was back when my kids were small. I was blessed to have my grandparents watch my kids. My daughter who was the youngest did have to go to a sitter for a year. The sitter was my son’s mom. She was very good with her. I never liked the daycare set up. To many kids and issues. If you can find a person who watches kids in your area or have a friend or family member you can pay I would look into that. I have watched my grandkids from the time they were born because I didn’t want them in daycare. I was a nurse and quit to stay home with them. I hope you find a good option. If you lived close to me I’d help you out
You just have to do your vetting and get over it or you’re not going to be able to work.
I agree with another person,work at the daycare. Or don’t work until he’s in kindergarten.or Work from home. Having peace of mind your little is ok can be everything. my granddaughter was sick alot in daycare. But now he she’s home with mom she’s rarely sick. My daughter works from home.
Since you don’t trust anyone with your child, how are we supposed to answer this? Maybe work from home? But you said you don’t want to be with him 24/7 so I really am not sure how anyone can answer this question.