I would sit and consider the options. Is he willing to get a daytime job? Can his work change his shifts? My cousin works overnight and she has for years. It can be really hard, especially when you have a partner. Sit down and talk to him. Tell him you miss him, you want to be with him more and see what he says. Overnight jobs can be beneficial like getting more pay but after awhile I’m sure it’s exhausting.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I never get to see my boyfriend because of work, how do we make it work?
You need to work less.
Someone should switch hours or find another job. Y’all wont last like this.
He works 5 days a week yet doesn’t help? … Y’all barley see each other sounds more like room mates .
You work 7 days a week, he works 5, and he thinks HE works too much to help? Oof. He needs to buck up and pitch in.
Why can’t he help out on the 2 days he is off?
No one should have to work 7 days a week, or a ridiculous 12 hours a day!
Start just doing only the things you dirty or cleaning the messes you make. Then he’ll realize how much you actually do for him. It’s all about respect and being partners.
Dump him he works less than you and isn’t will to pitch in now I doubt he will later. He will always expect you to come behind him and clean up if you don’t set your boundaries now. It doesn’t seem like you value the same things if he not willing to help so you have more time together . It spouse to be partners not you talking care of him
Stop doing it. You aren’t his mom. Send him back to her.
You Need To Find A Better Motivated Caring Loving Man Who Wants To Help Stay Strong And Have Boundaries That Your Not Willing To Compromise With Less Than That
Work less or stop doing it all
I work days my hubby works nights. It’s hard believe me I know where your at. I get a few minutes in the morning when he’s coming to bed and am getting me and kids up for the day. If you love each other you make it work. The time even if a few minutes make it count that’s what I do. Am pretty much a single parent until he’s off. We get a day with him and that’s it. Hold tight
With so many places hiring right now, both of you should set down and figure out a schedule that works for you and the life style you’d prefer and then apply at places hiring those shifts and paying close to if not more then you are making now. It takes team work to make the dream work. Also I recommend a chore chart. We use one in our home and everybody chips in and does 2-3 things a day that help maintain our home, it also rotates so everyone gets a turn at each chore. So nobody can complain about anything.
Just do the best you can
Make him a chore list.
I would stop doing everything and make him do it. If he starts complaining that stuff isn’t getting done. He will know why!
Find someone else u only need 6 hours a day
Both the hubby and I work shift work, I know how hard it can be. I would recommend asking him to change to day shift or see if he can do a rotational schedule. As for yourself if possible, I would try taking at least 1 day a week off that he is home. This should be your “me” day. Take a bath, have a glass of wine, go to yoga. Make sure you make time for you mama 
.
Im not going to judge based on how* many days yall work, for all we know you might only work 3 to 5 hours each day and him 12* to 16 each day. You guys need to sit down and talk and compromise or its not going to work out.
Are u his mother or his girlfriend?? Clean up after urself for a few days let him see the difference won’t take him long to figure out what hot water and abit of washing up liquid can do lol
My boyfriend used to work over nights too and our schedules conflicted. It was hard and it caused a lot of fights and frustration but if u really want to be with him and make it work. Ull figure it out and make sacrifices.
Get your own place. You don’t need him! You need God, he will help you!
Thats not a boyfriend or a man that is a roomate/man child. This relationship is doomed if you guys don’t change things. Him helping out with house duties, finding different jobs so you have more time together…
Date someone on the same shift of you. I will not date anyone that is too far to come see me and drive back to their work the same or next day. I won’t date someone on an opposite shift than me. 1, I like sleeping next to my partner. 2, either he would have to lose out of hours of sleep in the morning to see me for even 1.5-3 hours before I go into work, or I would have to lose out on sleep to stay up and see him or be able to talk to him. I’m not about that 
I frankly don’t give a damn. Attempted to date someone on a different shift than me, he was suppose to be transferring to first but that didn’t end up happening. I either had to keep my kids awake past 11pm to go pick him up, or not see him at all. So yeah, I don’t do it.
Also, not looking for opinions of anyone else. Thanks
He needs about 6 maybe 7 hours of sleep. Set a alarm get up do some chores and go to work
He needs to at least pull his weight on the weekends. Do his share of the work, make time on the weekends for you or you need a new boyfriend. All you are doing is making his life easy, must be nice to have a servant to take care of everything and you don’t even have to make an effort!
I work during the day and my husband works nights. He sleeps while I’m at work and gets up when I get home. That’s when we spend time with our daughter and as a family. Your boyfriend is still capable of helping around the house and could get up earlier and go to bed as soon as he gets home if he isn’t already.
Just bounced out of a 7 year relationship bc of this garbage. You are not his momma. He needs to step up or step out!
He would get one last ultimatum! Your ass works 5 days a week and I work 7 and I’m still doing all the house care work, that is unacceptable, get off your lazy ass, contribute to the Partnership you’re building and the future you’re looking forward to.
If you are not willimg to put in the effort it takes ro live comfortably and pitch into your own life, i can do it alone or find somebody who will be a real partner.
We partner up to have a teammate not an extra Dependent to take care of.
I am not your mama or your maid grow a pair and grow up or go back and live with your mama.
You do you… let him do him… do not do a single thing for that lazy dick head…
Do ur own cooking washing etc and leave him to sort himself out… ur meant to be his partner not his mother… Inform him that its his home too and his responsibility as well… its not a hotel
You work more than he does and still manage to get stuff done so hes full of it. He needs to help around the house and than maybe you guys would have more time together.
Night shift does wear you out much worse than a day shift job. Sounds like you both need to sit down and work out a different job situation or your relationship is gonna fail
If its not working…leave. if its important to you both…work it out.
Night shift will drain you. Give him a few things to do. My hubs works 2am till 8 or 9 pm. So I do it all
Girl that is not a boyfriend. You are his house slave. Nip that in the bud. Most guys like that dont change. Just go find someone better who will appreciate you
Leave? He’s not your kid
Get a schedule. Date nights. Who makes dinner. Cleans laundry. Approach it in a compromising way. Ask if he could wake up a little early to eat or have coffee together. Get a game plan to do things together. Good luck. It’s possible
I mean do you have kids bc I feel like your house wouldn’t get that dirty if you guys just work and sleep 
so it’s not like you have to do drastic cleaning but I was always taught the woman cleans but you do you I guess
He sleeps from 10am -8pm? That’s ALOT of sleep. I know working nights is roughy but he can manage to wake up earlier and help u out. I’m sure ur not getting a full 10hrs of sleep. Can you image once kids come in the picture? U will be expected take care of them too, if he can’t help out now
Stop doing wifey things for your BOYFRIEND
Maybe try working 6 days and have at least one day off on a day he does so you can work on the house together and have some time together 7 days of work and no day off is a little much
You dont just leave …good lord is anyone still married with them petty decisions…
You make it work, theres men/women works weeks without coming home but they make it work.
How about hire someone to do the cleaning…if you both work that much that shouldn’t be an issue…
I see my hubby couple hours a day if we’re lucky …some days not even that…
But that’s life and life isn’t always fair…
But I’d never just throw him away bc we dont see each other as much as we’d want to…That’s just crazy advice!!
My son still lives at home and has worked midnights for the last 5yrs. He really doesn’t get a lot done or sees anybody during the week because of his shift but on his days off he tries to help out around the house and see family. He doesn’t have a social life because of his job but he doesnt care because it’s the shift he choose to work because of his lack of liking to be around large crowds.
Ignore everyone . The problem is not every guy is a dick. You need to learn boundaries . Learn to be assertive and learn not to allow bad behaviour. If he still does not change then recycle lol
Um you might be talking about my ex bc when I was with him I could’ve said these exact words but plus two kids. He’s just making excuses it sounds like and wanting to be lazy. I’d ignore it and stop doing everything just do stuff for yourself. Is there kids involved? If not I’d leave lol
I’m sorry, working isn’t life.
Spending time and making memories is what it’s all about.
Anything could happen, and he’s too busy working… great excuse !
He’s just being lazy. I’m in a similar situation except I’m the one who works nights but I still manage to help take care of the kids and clean the house and makes meals because me and my husband are a team
No excuse. I pay all my
bills, work 7pm-7am 3-4 nights a week (up to 6nights), and I’m a single mom raising a son. So if he’s letting a whole ass female outwork him then you’re dating a little bitch not a man. My DMs open tho let’s travel 
If you both live there and both work full time , household responsibilities need to be shared. Make a list of everything that needs to be done daily, weekly and monthly. Sit down with him and decide whom is responsible for what.
As for spending time together, well, having him do half of the duties should give you a little more free time and hopefully that will solve that issue aside from possibly finding a job where you don’t work 7 days a week
quit working seven days a week spend weekends together or if you want the seven day work week don’t date anyone
He’s choosing not to help you 
I bet he makes messes that you have to clean up.
Tell him you are tired too. You need his help and want to spend time with him. If he just blows you off. Stop doing his laundry let him cook for himself and if he doesn’t clean up after himself don’t do it. Is this your house or apartment? If yes and he doesn’t try to work with you , kick his ass out . He is treating you like your his mom or you’re his maid
He needs to get off his ass and clean before he goes to bed. That’s fucked up
Have you tried 
communicating
Posts like these are just frustrating. Look. if it’s not working, it’s not working. If you tried communicating, not talking but communicating (yes there’s a difference) and he has no interest in either A. Communicating back or B. Changing/compromising then you have 0 relationship.
Thankfully it only took me to 22 to realize if I wanted a good relationship I needed to make a good relationship. I found a man who will sit down and talk with me about our issues. We’ve been together 3, almost 4 years (only baby steps) and have managed to have 0 fights while still having disagreements.
It’s healthy and happy.
You have to put your petty behind you and talk even when you just want to be mad. A partner ship isn’t 50/50 all the time. Sometimes it’s 90/10. And if you nor him aren’t willing to pick up the slack some of the time then personally, I don’t believe it’ll work out.
Best of luck to the both of you though
You adjust your schedules to make it work. Even if it only for a day out of the week you do need to make time for each other
Working 7 days a week is no life and leave very little chance for a life outside work. If I really wanted to stay if find another job or cut back my hours to where I could see him
You work 7 days a week
He works five,
Yet he’s so tired he can’t help the two days he gets off that you don’t???
Lazy mf
If I was in that situation I would be single lol you work 7 days a week and he works 5 yet he works to much to help? That’s bullshit . I work overnight myself and have a child ,I work 12 hour shifts 6to6:30 and come home sleep til 2-3 get my baby for a couple hours amd then back to her grans she goes so I got to work and repeat for another either 2/3 days and I clean and cook food ,my SO works the same job I do,same shift and does the same amount of stuff as me if not more since when we have the baby I end up doing more with her of course . If you can’t buckle down and compromise then why stay? You could take a day or two off and work 5/6 days and get a break and he can learn how to maintain a good schedule when not working and help you and then y’all spend quality time together ,if you can’t then there is 0 point unless y’all like puttin up with that crap
He works 5 days . So what does he do on his days off ? I think you’re flogging a dead horse . He does’nt appear open to compromise and he appears very selfish and self - centred . Why are you both working opposing times ? You need to actually talk properly and assess what you both want from this houseshare . Sounds to me like he just wants bed and board !!!
Gee, if he’s got two days off and you don’t then he should be cleaning and cooking those days. He sleeps 10 hours a day so he’s well rested. If it’s just the two of you there should not be a lot of house work involved.
I definitely wouldn’t have kids
Stop doing everything plain and simple.
Stop doing everything plain and simple.
Help him see how tiring it is to work and have to do everything every day. Put him in charge of a couple of things and suck it up. If you were alone you would be doing everything anyways
Good luck
It affects us mentally and physically different than a person working a first shift job. Vitamin D helps us with energy and immune system when we work nights and don’t get it we are more susceptible to feeling tired/ sick/ exhaustion/ depression
Throw the whole man out.
In this job market he could find a different job. And I encourage you to have at least one day off. Everyone needs a day of rest.
First of all, I work nights. Have been for over 4 years (within that time had a baby and worked my whole pregnancy) and if he sleep 10-8 that’s literally 10 hours of sleep … A person usually only needs between 6-8 hours every night to be fine. So idk why he needs so much more sleep. And all in all if you both work then both should help around the house. He’s a guy and usually guys don’t clean the way we do and that’s acceptable BUT what itsnt acceptable is you working more days than him and having to come home to clean up after him, a GROWN ASS MAN. Idc if he works nights or not he’s not a child. Really feel like he’s making excuses 
Put your foot down! Tell him to nut up or shut up fr.
You’re not his mother.
Stop doing everything 
I work the opposite schedule of my husband too. I see him Monday, Wednesday, Friday mornings briefly as he works nights and is home every other day. He’s home every Sunday and every other weekend. I work the 8-5/m-f. I hardly ever see him. We got into yesterday as when he is home he plays video games. I work full time and I’m raising 5 kids! The youngest is 2!! I clean, grocery shop and everything else. He maybe will do yard work every other weekend. It’s really frustrating. He has no idea of what I do everyday to keep the house clean and kids safe. I feel like I should write out a list of what I do daily. I get ready for work every morning and then do laundry right before I have to load kids up and drop off at two different schools and daycare. I’m tired of no support so I get it
I would quit trying to make it work. I worked nights for years and my husband at the time was just like that. I did 90% of all of the household/kid stuff. There’s a reason he’s my ex. Using working nights as an excuse is just that… an excuse.
You both need to be on the same shift
Seems like he’s a bit lazy. Sleeps a lot, and has 2 days off and hours don’t. I would suggest talking to him
Of course he should help but remember working nights is really hard on some people.
Smack him. I do 12-14 hours overnights and my bf does 10 plus shifts mid day until
Night. So when we are both home we help each other or I’ll ask hiM to help
In the morning. He’s making a choice not to help I sleep 6 hours cause I have a school age but
I refuse to do all the work alone.
Stop doing all the work
He needs to go back to his mom’s… 
BYE!!!
Work 5 days a week and enjoy the 2 off ! But he also needs to chip in on the household responsibilities
If you work 7 days a week he should be working 7 days a week! He works 5 at his job and he should be working 2 days at home! It’s only fair! He can clean the house once a week and since it’s only the two of you the housework should be minimal! Pick up after yourselves during the rest of the week jointly! He can make prep meals for the week on his days off! You are not his mother but his partner and deserve to have his help as you help with working more than him! If you don’t get that help you need to leave because you are nobody’s slave and that’s how you are living now! On a personal note hun, working 7 days a week is no way to live! Maybe think of getting a new job but if that isn’t possible, please rethink the partner you have because you are a hard working woman whom deserves a hard working man by your side! Good luck hun!
This ain’t the 1950’s, train your man.
Yeah he needs to grow up. If you’re working 7 days/week and still holding the house down he needs to put in effort. He has two days of rest. You’re supposed to be a team. Doing things for your partner that they could do themselves just to show up and make it easier is a whole love language and he’d be smart to learn it before you’re too tired to even deal with his mess anymore.
When me and my now hubby first lived together, I worked multiple jobs (upwards 60-70 hours a week and at some point I started taking college courses online) and he worked plus was going to university. I don’t even know how we managed. I know that everytime we had some time together we made it count. I use to visit him up at the university when I had a rare moment off.
It was a difficult time but we made it through.
Now he works two jobs (7 days a week) and I work plus we have a 6 yr old. Again it is tough. We still share household responsibilities but it is never 50 50.
It really is a tough stage and I hope you and your bf can make it work and that he is willing to make some changes to contribute to the upkeep of your guys house. He has 2 days off, there’s no reason he can’t help.
Also is there a way for you to drop one day of work? On a day that your bf doesn’t work?
His job is probably much harder than yours plus working overnight puts a strain on your system. No matter how much sleep he gets, overnight work is never easy.
slaving for your bf, crazy lol
The only reason my husband doesn’t help me, is because he’s busy working all day, all night, every day and I work at home, being a mom and doing that stuff. If you’re working 2 more days than him, and doing all the cooking and cleaning and you are paying your equal share of the rent and bills you don’t have a boyfriend hunni you have a girlfriend…. he can’t expect you to do all the house stuff if he’s not doing all the other stuff. That’s how relationships work. Give and take. You need to find some kind of balance you feel is fair, or you need to find yourself another man. Just remember that they’re not going to put in anymore effort in 20 years than they are right now, so if you’re just met with constant excuses instead of solutions, like taking over certain chores etc good luck hunni!
My husband works 12hrs 6days a week over nights and I do home health for my grandparents. We have 1 vehicle and the only time I see him is when I take him to and from work. He’s tired. I’m tired… I told him I couldn’t be superwoman anymore and he said “hire whatever help you need, we can afford it and if not, I’ll pick up a few extra hours.” He does what he can, which is probably still less than I’d want, but when you work so much and are constantly on call for family emergencies and barely get enough sleep, it breaks you down and priorities get a bit muddled. Our solution hire help. We still barely see each other and haven’t been intimate in about 2-3 months but we’re holding out for when we can slow down and enjoy each other again.
It really depends on the type of jobs yall have. Cause if that was my husband and I, he would definitely be way more tired with his job than any job I’d have. The type of work he does definitely matters in this situation
If y’all working that much y’all should be able to afford a housekeeper a court days a week.
I honestly was on the opposite schedule like this and we had to remember that This Too Shall Pass and it eventually did and now we are on a better schedule for us to have time together
Ditch him if he can’t learn to be helpful
Dude stick up for yourself. Doesn’t make sense for him to say that when you work 7 days a week. Also, I don’t believe a relationship can survive with one person consistently working 6-7 days a week.
So I work 7 days a week 12:00-600 in the morning I get home from work I sleep till my wife gets up at 8:30 get our kids breakfast and prepare for the rest of the day when she gets home I have house chores done and supper ready most day some days I go out and grab something quick, then come 8:30-9:00 that even I lay down till 11:30 give my kids a good night kiss as they are already in bed hug Kiss my wife tell her I love her and go to work, my wife does the same for me on her days off she plays and does stuff with the kids so I can get my rest, relationships go both ways
If you guys just keep the same schedules , nothings gonna change.
Why would anyone work 7 days a week? Your job will replace you in a heartbeat but you only get 1 life. I say take a couple of days off and spend time with your man. As dar as the cooking and cleaning, I can’t see how much there would be if both are working all the time.
Fuck that i work overnights at least 5 if not 6 days a week. I still do all my chores (hubby does outside i do inside and he will help with dishes and laundry) and still help take care of our kids and animals. And only normally get about 5 hours or sleep. Tell him to suck it up or find a different job if he cant handle it
He just lazy I worked 3rd shift as a single mom and did everything even sports practices. He can help you when he first gets in.
You literally work more days than him. He’s a lazy bum if he won’t help you. Why stay in a relationship where you’re not only basically a roommate, but also a maid?