Last thing I would worry about is spending time with him 
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My husband works overnights. He only has one night off. He goes to bed when he gets home in the mornings and wakes up between 2 and 3 in the afternoon. He gets up, spends time with me and our kids, and heâll cook dinner too. He could help out if he really wanted to.
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Just make time. I work nights, my husband works during the day. And we take weekends off together when we can.
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I would say talk about changing jobs or changing hours to suit both of your guys schedules either if itâs day/night shift hours whatever suits you both, so it makes it easier to spend that free time together. Need to be equal, one canât do everything & work just as much as the other. Team workđŤ
Boy bye 
. Might as well be single loveâŚyou basically are.
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Yeah did this until I caught him cheating
Find a new boyfriend.
He doesnât seem like a long term investment to me.
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No excuses. He can wake his ass up an hour early and accomplish something to help. 50/50! I left my relationship of 7 1/2 years because of that and many other things, but thats not all of it.
A man makes time for what he wantsđ I work overnights and my bf works days, we do this for our daughter so one of us is always home with her. We get an hour after he gets home, before I have to leave; weâll have dinner and talk about our day. Thatâs ALL we get during the week, but we still make time for intimacy lol which is when im coming to bed before he wakes up for work. We live for the weekends which is when weâre off togetherđ
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My ex chose third all the time and sleeps his life away. He can help or you can replace him. Save yourself years of heartache . Heâs got time for what he wants, so if youâre doing it all why would he. Lazy pure and simple.
Be grateful heâs working too n not just you. If itâs truly meant to be youâll know trust me.
Help clean up or pack up
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Why are you working seven days a week? I assure you night shift folk need sleep too and few of us actually get 6-8
Everyone is so quick to judge but honestly, the number of days a week you work isnât the hours you put inâŚor the effortâŚmaybe he DOES work harder than her in his 5 daysâŚ
Sounds like youâre just looking for a reason to leave and hoping other people will make you feel better about it. Just leaveđ¤ˇđźââď¸
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Tell him to get his own bloody house you ainât his maid and you work 2 days a week more. Lazy bum
My husband and I worked different schedules for years and I did all the cleaning, cooking and took care of our children. When he was able and available we would spend time together.
How many hours a week do you work? Do you leave at 10 am or 10 pm?
I work third shift and itâs hard to stay up when home . I sleep a lot and my time zone is off. Even tho Iâm single when I had someone it really wasnât an issue on my days off I slept a lil and went out once in awhile. I would just be glad on his days off he is home. He could be out partying . And no disrespect but you didnât mention children so how much you need to clean and the cooking part why are you cooking every day . Take a break cuddle with him ⌠till he goes to work⌠Is his job hard and wearing him out?
My boyfriend and I are like this we both work sometimes we get to enjoy mornings together sometimes itâs just nights but makes it so worth it at the end of the night knowing we come home to each other u will find the way to make it work chin up
I think he could help on his 2 days off. You have no days off. Be glad you donât have kids yet.
Tell him he doesnât need 10 hrs of sleep and help out around the house and spend some time with you. If he doesnât want to, maybe itâs time for you to move on. You work to live not live to work!
I know working nights are hard I used to work nights but I still made sure to do my fair share inhousework and spending time ⌠I didnât sleep for 9-10 hours but everyone is different I hope you figure out a way to make it less tiring for u and so U get to spend time ⌠Iâm sorry I been there night shift wise itâs exhausting but itâs literally not an excuse for someone to not help at all or spend any time ⌠he has days off love 
good luck
Make sure he has the house straightened up, he can do laundry have the meal started. If heâs going to sleep all day and expect you to do it all send him packing back to mama. Canât you cut down on hours so you can spend some quality time together.??
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Try to find a job with the same shift hours, for more shared time !
My boyfriend works nights too so I totally get it. I also worked 3rd and youâre constantly tired. Your body never really rests properly. I know itâs tiring and you feel alone sometimes but if you want to make it work you will and if you donât youâll find any excuse not to.
Why are you together? Are you roommates? No one should work 7 days a week. Work 5 and have the same 2 days off as your boyfriend.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I never get to see my boyfriend because of work, how do we make it work?
You can make a list where each of u have specific chores.
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If you love eachother yâall will find a way to make it work. Relationships are two people. Itâs a team effort.
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He doesnât need 10-12 hours of sleep a night. He should be waking up around 5 or so to spend time with you and eat dinner with you. Tell him to start waking up earlier
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How does he justify this when you work 7 days and he 5??
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Working that many hours a week can really stress a relationship out. One of yâall need to slow down with work and have time for each other⌠Iâve lost a relationship because I worked so much! If you canât find Time for each other it makes things so much harder
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Is there any way you can get your hours cut back so you can have the same 2 days off as him to spend together ?
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Find a new one. One who wants you wonât have to ask to spend time together
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Your seeing signs now that not good. But you may see some you like. What you need to ask yourself. The way he does things. Do you want to he married to that. The way things are. Do you want to bring a child into it. You may really think on how things are in do you want it in the future. Good luck
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Leave Find someone whoâs not selfish. OUT FOR HIMSELF PLAIN AND SIMPLE
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Leave him. He works less yet you do all the housework? Nah. Save yourself the stress and move on. He wonât change.
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So he is just a boarder then?
I say that because this person makes No effort to spend time with you or do the Normal required chores around house.
He needs to get priorities straight,
Not spend 10+ hours in bed and
Make an effort to be an equal partner in the relationship.
Talk to him, tell him you canât do it alone anymore.
Make a roster for chores, agree on times that is just for you both to be together and catch up.
If that doesnât happen, well yeah the relationship wonât go anywhere sadly.
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hire a housecleaner, he pays.
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He had two days off. Why canât he help? You work 7 days. My husband is the same way and it can be a battle trying to get him to help. We both work 5 days a week. He is out of the house and works long hours those days while I work from home while also having our 2 year old son at home. So itâs definitely not easy. He thinks I sit on my ass all day in front of the TV and complains when I ask him to help. But he does it eventually.
Who would do the cleaning if he lived on his own? He needs to help with some chores.
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Nobody wins in this situation. New job? Work to live donât live to work.
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I worked night shift as a single mom of 3 and still got everything else done also. Anyone saying that canât is just making excuses to not have to.
People do what they want to. They make the time and effort for the things and people want to see and do. I learned the hard way. If you have to constantly ask someone for their time, you are not the one they want to spend it withâŚLET.THEM.GO.
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Perhaps he can wake up earlier and clean up a bit or cook.
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I agree with those saying to leave. You work more than him and he doesnât even help clean or cook? My husband works and I stay home with our kids and he STILL cleans and cooks. We both live here and we both make messes and we both have these kids together so we both contribute to the cleaning up.
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He needs to help you. You work 7 days and he works 5 days, he has more free time than you do. Itâs basic human skills to cook and clean up after yourself. If he was living alone would be just be living in a giant slob mess? Sounds like he just likes the free rides and donât wanna put it any workâŚ
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Why is everyone saying leave? Is hard work not valued? Sometimes you have to sacrifice time together for the greater good of the future of the relationship. It wonât always be like that. Working overnight is no joke. I did it for 3 years. Itâs exhausting bc your body never really catches up. Why not have a talk with him and express that you need a little more help around the house and that you would like to find some time to dedicate to the relationship. Even if itâs difficult itâs worth it.
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Leave it wonât change. My husband worked days I went 2 school full time and worked nights on top of raising my kid. We still made time 4 each other. There were some days we were both exhausted but yet we made the time 2 be alone. Sometimes that meant someone watching my kid a few hours or overnight sometimes that meant nothing got done around the house and sometimes that meant going 2 days without sleep but it didnât happen unless we made it happen. The choice is urs 2 say something about getting or help or leaveing. U work more and do everything heâs not helping do anything and gives excuses then heâs not worth ur time.
Sometimes when we try to talk, men just wont listen n just want to see/listen from their perspective. Its tiringgg waiting for them to take action. So I always do this when im tired and angry. I wont discuss/talk about chores with my husband, il just simply sayâŚ
-
My dear, help me with this.
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(Name) come help me, i need help.
Just say it when u need help. Tell him directly what u need him to be doing at that moment.
If he doesnt do it, or acting stupid⌠then show him that youre not pleased. Show him that u dont like it when he doesnt come n help. I also didnt do his laundry for days till hes desperate for my help 
Sometimes i purposely dont cook for him, just focus on my babyâs meal time n mine.
Serves him right for not contributing in housechores
If he still doesnt say sorry or help around the house, its okay⌠do what makes you happy. Make him wonder why youre not affected. 
Stay strong, hugs 
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Remind his ass that you work two days more than him. Sounds like heâs lazy
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If he would want to he would, but since he hasnât he doesnât.
My husband and I started dating when he was literally on the other end of the world, different time zones, and schedules, same thing as you where I would be going to sleep as soon as he would be waking up and vice versa, we made it work he either got up earlier or I stayed up later just an hour or two we would drop all of the days/night info to catch up on just whatâs going on in our lives and then dedicate the rest of the hour or so to talking about what plans we would like to do once we have a day off or whenâs the next time we could see eachother.
You need to ask for a day or two off, as far as I know yes the company can be open 7 days a week but employees are entitled to days off. Donât over work yourself at a job that will have your job listing up before your obituary is done. Even if itâs something small as he does the kitchen at night before heading out or in the morning as heâs coming in but you live together that is more manageable than not living in the same country and making things work long distance. If thatâs too much for him then have a conversation about pack up and leaving cause it makes no sense stressing over someone who wonât even meet you half way in the house. He eats he sleeps he lives there? Then he can clean, maintain the house and do his half of the load.
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Stop cooking and cleaning.
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Heâs getting 10 hours of sleep a night!!
Tell him he can get a little less sleep and contribute to your household.
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Find different jobs if your relationship means so much to you. My husband and I made over 100k a year together but never saw each other due to work demands. We decided spending time together, was more important than living a certain lifestyle. So we changed jobs and it was the best decision we ever made. Weâve gotten to enjoy more time together and learned to live with less âstuffâ and that also gave us the ability to really help each other around the house etc
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If he works 5 days a week he has 2 days to help. Stop doing it all.
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What type of job does he have? My husband works from 4am to 5 pm and he is out in the weather the whole time picking up trash. He is always exhausted by the time he comes home. I always make time for him bc of how hard he works. Maybe he feels unappreciated idk. Men are confusing to be honest
Dating a 3rd shifter is hard. I was married to one for 11 years. Is it possible to work 6 days or 5 days not 7. When do you get a day off? Talk to him ask him if on his days off he can do a few assined things like dishes or clean and vaccum living room. If he flat out refuses to clean anything then yes its a wake up call. My ex use to only do the yard some laundry and cook for the kids. We split over a diffrent situation. Also have one day just for u 2 or ur relationship wont work.
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Find another boyfriend
Iâve done this for almost 30 years, if and when we had time together we did not clean house!
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you tell him to clean and cook for himself and you do the same
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Why he should help: he lives there, itâs his mess too, youâre not a 1950âs housewife, if he wanted a maid and personal chef you obviously have a different profession.
Reasons he shouldnât clean: none.
Reasons he shouldnât cook: heâs an alien that gains his energy through photosynthesis. Other than that he has two hands he can make food himself.
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My opinion is for you to only work FIVE days a week. Perhaps he can change to a DAY job. Schedule a 4 hour block of time just for relations. Good luck 
CUT expenses back everywhere you can. Then some stress will be relieved. Stick to a tight budget until you are on top of the bills. Life is rough, work as a team and enjoy the few minutes that you get together. Idk if you have a mortgage, car payments, etc. but something has got to give. 
I personally think he could wake up 2 hours earlier to have time with you and help you. He would still be getting 8 hours of sleep if he slept 10am- 6pm. My best advise is, if he wanted to, he would.
You sound like an insanely hard worker and a powerful woman, you should have someone that respects and appreciates everything you do and who wants to help make it easier for you, too.
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Stop doing everything. Tell him straight up he needs to start helping out since he at least has 2 days off. If he gives a shit heâll do it.
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Yall are a team. Leave a lil note and ask him to a few things he does have 2 days off. Try get 2 of the same days off so that yall have time to each other. I had a job that took me away from my family. I would get my kids ready for school but by time i got off work everyone was alseep. I felt so guilty bc my kids always said they missed me.
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⌠If I worked 7, and he worked 5 days⌠And he had any kinda nerve to tell me that he couldnât help cause he worked to muchâŚI would probably slap the shit outta him𤡠but⌠Heâs getting like 10 hours of sleep? I get needing your sleep and what not⌠But⌠He could get a little less, and wake up earlier to either spend some time with you, or help out⌠Or you guys can find a way to fix your schedules to work with each otherâs or something⌠If I donât get a certain amount of sleep a night, I can get sick during the day. Cause I get really bad vertigo migraines. And lack of sleep, will trigger them. So I get that. I do but, not 10 hours every night.
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Stop working 7 days a week. Get the same days off your boyfriend has off.
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He has 2 days off⌠he should help you around the house those days so when u get home u can have some time togerher.
Do a few loads of laundry, some vaccuming and straighten out, then make or order dinner
I think everyone is saying leave because. 1, they arenât married. 2, he puts no effort in while she does everything. 3, personal experiences show its not gonna get better.
I personally agree, she needs to either tell him he needs to help or get out, or just leave. Its really something a young girl (or older) should ask themselves in every relationship. âAm I happy, does the good out weight the bad, will they be a good partner in life, and can I see myself with this person married and with kids and still be happy.â If you canât answer any of those questions honestly without making excuses for said questions, its not worth the time and energy spent, especially when there is someone out there who will answer those questions Xâs 10 with no questioning.
Iâve worked hospital night shifts for 3+ yrs, and on top of that my now husband and I were long distance dating. He worked 12-16hr days welding and traveling and I worked night shift at the hospital for 12-13hrs and was a full time student in school. If the person wants to be with you and be an equal partner they make the time! My husband and I dated for 9yrs before we got married, and now we have a daughter and we travel the states together. But its because of the work and sacrifice we BOTH made to get to this point.
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Overnight shift is hard. But where there is a will there is a way. You could work less and he could wake up earlier. Neither of you are making necessary changes⌠so the real question is do you two really want to be together?
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Throw the whole boy away and find someone who wants to be with you, and be a team.
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My husband has worked nights for ten years. Itâs not always been easy but thereâs no excuse getting up that late!! Latest he gets up is 2pm, he gets our child from school, puts a load of washing in for me to finish and he cooks the tea for when I get back from work and I wash up and make the lunches.
Itâs easy to get frustrated when you arenât working as a team, you need to find a routine that works, or it wonât work.
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Back in the beginning of my husbandâs and mine relationship, I would nag and nag and nag until it turned into an argument, then he angry cleaned for a day. We joke about it now but I honestly donât think he realized how much I do⌠how much he can help. Even now, almost 9 years later, I have to SPECIFICALLY ask certain tasks when I leave or he seriously wonât even think about doing it. Itâs annoying, he does better now, but no one cleans like mom sometimes.
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When my husband and I got together, he worked nights and I was home all day with the kids. I felt the same way. He did however, sacrifice some sleep to help me. Eventually, it bothered us both that we spent zero time together and he started looking for another job. He found one and we are on the same daytime schedule and he makes more money. It was a win-win.
Cut your losses and kick him out.
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I went through almost the same thing with my ex and thatâs why heâs my ex. I expressed what was wrong and he wasnât willing to fix it
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Unless youâve worked night shift you have no clue what that does to your body. People saying wake up earlyâŚyou donât get it. I worked it for 7 years. I can function fully on 4 hours sleep. However many can not! My husband worked day shift when I worked nights. So we barely saw each other. Sometimes thatâs just life. You learn to deal. My husband worked nights for 9 monthsâŚit was the worst 9 months of our relationship. He just couldnât do nights. We have 3 kids. I got 0 helpâŚhe is a big family man so this was a change that I was not used to. However in a relationship we made it work. Sometimes a relationship is 50/50 sometimes itâs 90/10. The reason why relationships donât work out these days is because no one wants to work at them. They want to throw in the towel and move on
This is just a chapter in your book. Cope, talk and work through it.
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You might be giving a boyfriend wife privileges when he doesnât deserve it. You might need to take a step back, get your own place, and be just a girlfriend (or just a friend). If he wants wife privileges, he needs to start acting more respectful and treating you like he would a wife and potential respected life partner.
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Honestly if your working 7 days a week you shouldnât really be in a relationship. Work is draining and then to have to come home and try to do things in a relationship will mentally drain you. As someone who has worked graveyards let me tell you itâs not only physically draining but emotionally draining. I legit started getting depressed and wanted to quit. If he means that much to you Iâd say work five days a week and see if he can switch his shifts to day shift. Everyone is always like ready to jump and say âdrop emâ but I think certain situations like yours just need some adjustments. Good luck 
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At least heâs working
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Working shifts is hard your body timer is way out.
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My partner works during the day and I work nights, I do the cleaning and the kids in the day whilst heâs at work and we literally get 20 minutes a day to see each other for a quick catch up before I start work, he then takes over with housework, bathtime and bed, we found it hard work at first but we do 50/50 snd appreciate each other more on our days off x
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If he can make a mess he can take time to clean the mess you are not his maid⌠takes 2 to make the mess and clean the mess
Um she said she works 7 days a week. Maybe she should cut her hours back to make time ?
Why is everyone judging the boyfriend he has 2 days offâŚ
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I imagine he doesnt get home at 930am so there is time in the night to do some laundry or dishes while you are asleep. And i cant see why on his days off he cant do some of the noisier stuff or things that require daylight because you, with no days off, find a way to do so. Its not that he cant do it, its that hes choosing not to.
One of you switch shifts, maybe? If he still acts the same then he never cared in the beginning.
one change shifts otherwise will ruin your marriage, been there, done that. Wasnât worth it. May have to take less money but your marriage is worth more!. good luck, stay married if possible!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I never get to see my boyfriend because of work, how do we make it work?
Thereâs two situations going on here. You work different schedules and you do all the housework and cooking with no help from him. The work schedule is tough especially if itâs mandatory you work 7 days. The getting no help, not quite as tough. He only works 5 days so that means he can and SHOULD pitch in and help on those days off. After all, you donât live there alone. A partnership is 50/50. If he wants a mommy to cook, clean and take care of him tell him to go back home. Teach him a lesson. Only clean up after yourself. Only wash your clothes. Only cook your meals. Tell him you do everything alone as it is itâll just be easier only doing it for yourself. He should get the picture. If not then Iâd say you dodged a bullet.
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Try looking for a job with the same hours or cut down on the amount of days you work. But do not get into the habit of doing everything because he works a lot you are working as well.
He works 5 days a week he can help those other 2 days.
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Men must be trained. If you canât train him, you can hire a cleaning service, make food that can be eaten 2-3 days in a row, throw a load of laundry in before you leave for work and then dry and fold it when you get home. I have noticed that men can usually follow a handwritten list of things you want them to do. Just donât make the list too overwhelming. Good luck! All women struggle with this to a certain degree. Life goes on!
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Thank God you have someone that is willing and helps support you.
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If itâs meant to be, sacrificing time together to build a life is what it takes. Nothing is easy, you do what you have to do to get where you need to be.
Iâm not sure if youâre more upset about not seeing one another enough or that you do more housework than him. Either wayâŚwhen you work opposite shifts you just have to figure it out. Find a little time here and there. If one of you canât change your shift or hours around some then you have to just deal with it for now. Be glad you both have jobs. As far as house cleaning thatâs a conversation you need to have with himâŚdecide if itâs a deal breaker. Sounds like youâre just not happy so maybe you need to make some decisions. Heâs works a 3rd shift job of course heâs up all night working and his sleep time is during the day(thatâs his night)
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Youâve become his mommy. Cooking and cleaning for him. Iâd be so done with that shiiiittt
I work night shift 7 days a week and I still can clean and do things. I may be tired as hell but the shit still needs to get done. Can he go to bed earlier than 10? I try to go to bed around 5 or 6 maybe 7 depending, so I can wake up around 2 or 3 to do things before I go to work
I husband works out of town he comes home 1 weekend a month we make it work just fine been together 8 years
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